Blog

Briefly. 

I think it’s Friday?? Who the hell really knows or cares any more? I’m just happy to be here. 

Trivia #1: On Opening Day (MLB) in 1907, the Phillies were awarded a victory after the New York Giants had to forfeit the game at the Polo Grounds. Why?

Trivia #2: What U.S. President showcased his ambidextrous talents when he threw out left-handed and right-handed pitches on Opening Day?

Trivia #3: What distinguishes viruses from bacteria? 

If you are a regular here you know I tend to have an added focus on sports. That is a little difficult right now but I’ll do my best. 

Speaking of which, the Fox News web site is one of my go-tos. For a couple/few weeks now they haven’t even had a sports section. 

Quote for the week: “Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many.” 

You have to feel for high school and college athletes who play spring sports, and winter, who are getting hosed this year. Here are examples of a just a couple of things the NCAA is doing to help some of these kids. The NCAA will grant an extra season of eligibility to spring sports athletes affected by the coronavirus outbreak and financial aid rules have been adjusted to ensure teams can roster additional scholarship athletes without forcing them to push away other athletes or incoming recruits. That might not sound like much but at least they’re trying. 

Isn’t this great? Soon everyone can go back to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for their job. 

I posted this during this past summer after my wife and I spotted it on a T-shirt. It’s perfect for this time of quarantine. “Like a good neighbor, stay over there” 

Michelson/Brady vs. Woods/Manning. Sounds like good theater to me. 

Parenting, you’re doing it right. A father in New York reportedly banned his son from the family home after the college student went on a spring break trip amidst the coronavirus pandemic. After ignoring his father’s daily suggestions to come home the 21-year old finally made it back to his father’s house only to find his car in the driveway full of groceries. 

Tiger King? Not a fan. 

Making the most of it: The New Orleans Saints are planning to hold their draft war room at the Dixie Brewery in New Orleans, which is also owned by team owner Gayle Benson, since the NFL forced its teams to shut down its facilities amidst the coronavirus pandemic. 

1920: Alcohol prohibited. 2020: Liquor stores deemed essential businesses during national crisis. 

Why does one throw a ‘Hail Mary’ and not an ‘Our Father’? 

The NBA is considering many playoff scenarios. One is to have one host city to avoid travel concerns. Potential host locations: Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Hawaii, Louisville, Orlando, the Bahamas. 

Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef? 

There were 101,762 fans at Wrestlemania last weekend. 

Spring is here! I’m so excited I wet my plants. 

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Draft Kings is running virtual NBA and NFL games (free) in lieu of the suspensions of all-things sports. The football is done via Madden

This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: The Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks Department has converted the recommended six-feet social distancing rule into social “fishtancing” – expressing the gap in terms of lengths of several varieties of fish. For example, the recommended gap equals “4 trout,” “2 shovelnose sturgeon,” “1 paddlefish,” or “1 fishing rod” measurments.  

I told my wife how thankful I was to have someone I enjoyed being quarantined with. She said, “must be nice.” 

Trivia #1 answer: On Opening Day (MLB) in 1907, the Phillies were awarded a victory after the New York Giants had to forfeit the game at the Polo Grounds. Why? – There was a heavy snowstorm and after the Giants fell behind disgruntled fans began flinging snowballs onto the fields.

Trivia #2 answer: What U.S. President showcased his ambidextrous talents when he threw out left-handed and right-handed pitches on Opening Day? – Harry Truman on April 18, 1950

Trivia #3 answer: What distinguishes viruses from bacteria? – Viruses are not living organisms where bacteria are. Viruses are only “active” within host cells which they need to reproduce, while bacteria are singled-celled organisms that produce their own energy and can reproduce on their own. 

“Does anybody really know what time it is
I don’t
Does anybody really care
About time
If so I can’t imagine why
Oh no, no
We’ve all got time enough to cry.” 

– Chicago

 

Briefly.

 Trivia #1: Which MLB team is NOT in the top five all-time, regular season winning percentage (thru 2017), bonus if you can name the top five in order: St. Louis Cardinals, Boston Red Sox, Detroit Tigers, New York Yankees, LA Dodgers, San Francisco Giants

Trivia #2: Of the top 10 worst professional sports franchises in the 2010’s, there were no NHL teams and only two NBA teams. Name them.

Trivia #3: What was the Harlem Globetrotter’s Curly Neal’s first name?

 Tell me, how did they come up with the 20-secod wash rule? Did some scientist get his hands all germy, wash his hands for 5 seconds, test and find the germs were still there? Redo at 15 seconds and find the germs were still there? Redo at 20 seconds and lo-and-behold, the germs were gone! 20 Second Rule, folks!

 Along those same lines, the six-feet thing. Not five? Not ten, but six??? Come on…

 Did you see the L.A. Rams new logo? Damn that’s ugly! I hear the Pats are coming out with a new one too. Stay tuned.

 Life is hard. It’s even harder if you don’t laugh.

If you follow… It’s a start but don’t get too excited about the past three days regarding the financial markets. The DOW Jones is still down nearly 25% from its pre-virus high.

 Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Patriots’ Devin McCourty sees a lot of promise in QB Jarrett Stidham. Says McCourty; “I love his poise.” I giggle….

 If you receive an email with the subject “ding dong” don’t open it. They are just Jehovah’s Witnesses working from home.

 This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Really? Isn’t every day a sign nowadays.

 Not all heroes wear capes.

 Every time I see an daily virus update whether from MA Gov Baker or the Coronavirus Task Force, I’m continually amazed by how the interpreter keeps up. At least I assume he/she is keeping up.

 On a single day this past week I changed my clothes from the day before AND shaved!

 R.I.P. Kenny Rogers (81) – Inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame in 2013, his fame and career spanned 6 decades and multiple genres: jazz, folk, pop, rock and country. He had 24 #1 hits, was a six-time Country Music Award winner and a three-time Grammy Award winner.

R.I.P. Curly Neal (77) – A featured ballhandler of the Harlem Globetrotters. DYK: Curly was named All-CIAA guard at Johnson C. Smith University in Charlotte, NC averaging 23.1 points.

 Trivia #1: Which MLB team is NOT in the top five all-time, regular season winning percentage (thru 2017), bonus if you can name the top five in order: St. Louis Cardinals, Boston Red Sox, Detroit Tigers, New York Yankees, LA Dodgers, San Francisco Giants – The Detroit Tigers (8^th at .506) – Top five: Yankees (.567), Giants (.536), Dodgers (527), Cardinals (.520), Red Sox (.519)

Trivia #2: Of the top 10 worst professional sports franchises in the 2010’s, there were no NHL teams and only two NBA teams. Name them. – The Sacramento Kings were #3 and the New York Knicks were #2. Number 1? The NFL Cleveland Browns

Trivia #3: What was the Harlem Globetrotter’s Curly Neal’s first name? – Fred

 “So love your neighbor as yourself
Don’t use money to measure wealth
Trust in God but lock your door
Buy low sell high and slow dance more

Some folks have and some have not
What really counts is what you do with what you’ve got”

 – Kenny Rogers

 And as Lawrence Welk would say; “Adios… Au Revoir… Auf Wiedersehen… Goodnight!”

 

Briefly. (not really. I think we’re all bored to some extent) 

Don’t worry, I sanitized this before sending. 

Trivia #1: Name the top 5 tight ends in Patriots history in term of career receptions (with the Patriots), bonus if in order? – Ben Coates, Aaron Hernandez, Rob Gronkowski, Daniel Graham, Marv Cook, Ben Watson, Russ Francis, Dougie McKay

Trivia #2: What’s a crwth?

Trivia #3: Four franchises have never beaten a Tom Brady led Patriots team, regular season plus playoffs. Who are they?

Trivia #4: Who was the first player in NHL history to score 50 goals in a season?

Trivia #5: How many career wins did the Tigers’ Mark Fidrych have? 21, 25, 29, 35, 44, 52, 60? 

Tom Brady. I’m sorry but I’ve had enough. Look, I get it. What an incredible run, great memories, the GOAT. But let’s face it, he’s the enemy now. If you’re a Pats fan are you going to root for him when the Bucs play the Pats? If so, you ain’t no Pats fan. 

Speaking of Tom Brady, ya, I’d still bang him! 

Trivia #3 hint, all are NFC teams. 

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Today, Little Darlings, a strip club in Las Vegas, will offer drive-thru strip shows to comply with Nevada’s new guidelines. On Saturday, they will be launching their new feature show at midnight, “XXX Nude Hand Sanitizer Wrestling.” 

I’m off today and plan to at least swing my clubs in the back yard. That will help. 

Arbys, we have the meats! (Loop does too!) 

You might recall I mocked Chris Sale back in November when he said he felt good. That was a long time ago. Maybe the entire MLB season will be cancelled??? #pleasejustthisonce 

Tough time if you really need a haircut. Speaking of which, we’re gonna find out what color some people’s hair really is… 

I really miss the NCAA men’s basketball tournament but hey, at least my bracket isn’t broken after the first day! 

Better to die on your feet than on your knees. 

Yesterday I ate two pieces of string and today they came out tied together. I  you knot! 

I am certainly saving money with Draft Kings offering nothing but soccer, but I do miss the action. 

I’ve realized how often I touch my face. I mean all… the… time!!!! 

I was going to mention Maurice “Rocket” Richard in my “R.I.P.” section but… he was a career Montreal Canadian (#suchahater) 

Trivia #1 answer: Name the top 5 tight ends in Patriots history in term of career receptions (with the Patriots), bonus if in order? – Ben Coates, Aaron Hernandez, Rob Gronkowski, Daniel Graham, Marv Cook, Ben Watson, Russ Francis, Dougie McKay – Gronk (521), Ben Coates (490), Marv Cook (210), Russ Francis (207), Ben Watson (184)

Trivia #2 answer: What’s a crwth? – An ancient Celtic stringed instrument that is plucked or bowed

Trivia #3 answer: Four franchises have never beaten a Tom Brady led Patriots team, regular season plus playoffs. Who are they? – Atlanta Falcons (6-0), Chicago Bears (5-0), Minnesota Vikings, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Trivia #4 answer: Who was the first player in NHL history to score 50 goals in a season? – Maurice “Rocket” Richard (in 50 games in 1944-45)

Trivia #5: How many career wins did the Tigers’ Mark Fidrych have? 21, 25, 29, 35, 44, 52, 60? – 29 

“Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours ago
I wanna be sedated
Nothin’ to do and nowhere to go
I wanna be sedated
Just get me to the airport
Put me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
I can’t control my fingers
I can’t control my brain
Oh no no no no no” 

– The Ramones

Briefly. 

Trivia #1: On Wednesday night, on the eve of his 33^rd birthday, Tuukka Rask became just the second Finnish goalie to record his 50^th career shutout. Who is the other?

Trivia #2: What is the smallest country in the world? – Monaco, Vatican City, Geordania, Naura, Lawrence 

March Madness! Madness, I tell you! 

I know a great joke about the coronavirus, you probably won’t get it though. 

The Players Championship – the 5^th major? Puh-lease! 

Rudy Gobert, forever an idiot. Won’t shake that! 

I messed up. I did remember to wash my hands with warm water and sing a song, but instead of singing ‘Happy Birthday’ I sang ‘In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.’ Damn near rubbed the skin off both my hands! 

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Coronavirus… reactions. 

The Duke men’s basketball team was one of the first to pull out of the now cancelled NCAA men’s basketball tournament. Why? Because they knew they weren’t going to win. Pussies. 

Be concerned, but not consumed. 

DOH! A Louisiana woman was arrested on drug charges after police determined the $5,000 cash she used to post an inmate’s bail had a “strong odor of marijuana.” A search of her car turned up $40,000 in cash and 100 Klonopin pills. A subsequent search of her house found more cash and pills as well as marijuana, cocaine and paraphernalia. Four unattended children were turned over to a relative. 

The S7K Stand Alone Putter. You line up your putt, get your S7K on the correct angle and it stands by itself. Walk behind it and better lineup your putt. Brilliant! On Amazon for $199. 

I went to the chemist and asked the assistant, “What kills the coronavirus?” She replied “Ammonia Cleaner.” I said “Oh, sorry, I thought you worked here.”

Headline of the week: “Red Sox pitching taking shape.” Ya, like Charles Barkley took shape after he retired. 

More than two dozen people, including the trainer of champion Maximum Security, were charged with what authorities described Monday as an international scheme to drug horses to make them run faster. “What actually happened to the horses amounted to nothing less than abuse,” said William Sweeney Jr., assistant director in charge of the FBI New York office. 

If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14-day quarantine you probably should’ve seen a doctor long before Covid-19. 

I’ve said it previous years and I’ll say it again. We are in the midst of the best time in sports over the next five weeks or so, however this year it is all being ruined. The conference hoops tournaments, the NCAA tournament, Opening in MLB, Opening Day Fenway, and the Masters followed by the NHL and NBA playoffs. (throw in St. Patrick’s Day and my birthday) At least I can celebrate and enjoy St. Patrick’s Day and my birthday. 

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out. 

Trivia #1 answer: On Wednesday night, on the eve of his 33^rd birthday, Tuukka Rask became just the second Finnish goalie to record his 50^th career shutout. Who is the other? – Pekka Rinne

Trivia #2: What is the smallest country in the world? – Monaco, Vatican City, Geordania, Naura, Lawrence – Vatican City 

I may not have a vaccine for the coronavirus, but the following is the cure. 

“Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn’t even start
It’s Friday I’m in love” 

– The Cure

Briefly. 

Trivia #1: Bruno Sammartino won the WWF title in May of 1963. He held the title for nearly 8 years losing to whom in January, 1971? Bonus: Who beat this guy for the title the following month?

Trivia #2: On March 2, 1962 Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in a game, still a record. How many rebounds did he have in that game? 

New segment? One this day: In 1912 Oreo sandwich cookies are first introduced by the National Biscuit Co. 

Last week in Dublin, Ireland, Michael Smith became the first Premier League Player in three years to throw a nine-dart leg. Now I don’t to know the game of darts and after watching the replay, am still not sure what a nine-dart leg is however his wife posted his kids’ reaction and they certainly understood! Good stuff. 

One good turn gets most of the blankets. 

For the first time in history no snow was recorded in Baltimore, MD or Islip, NY for the month of February. 

I watched “Football Life” (or something like that) on ESPN the other featuring Barry Sanders. Barry Sanders might be my new favorite athlete of all time. Not only was he the greatest running back to ever play, and he arguably was, he was one of the most humble human beings I’ve seen/heard. What a guy! 

Head-scratching headline of the week: “Why Barbara Bush never died her hair” 

I can’t wait until the Tom Brady saga ends. The consensus among different sports books in Vegas has him staying in New England. 

Australian officials announced yesterday there are no longer any active bush or grass fires in New South Wales, the state hardest-hit by massive wildfires that have scorched millions of acres in the country since July. 

Former UConn men’s basketball coach Jim Calhoun has led Division III Saint Joseph to the Division III NCAA Tournament. Just two years ago the once all women’s school didn’t even have a men’s team. 

A little corny but I think Hall & Oates said it best: “There ain’t no good guy. There ain’t no bad guy. There’s only you and me and we just disagree.” 

Chaim Bloom, welcome to the Boston Red Sox. You lose your best player and arguably two best pitchers. Have at it! 

Speaking of Chris Sale and his bum elbow, the Sox rebounded by signing former Houston pitcher Collin McHugh. Last August McHugh went on the disabled list for the remainder of the season with elbow soreness. Ironic? 

64-year old Bobby Carothers of Des Moine, Iowa was sentenced to two years in prison after beating a rabbit to death with a stick and beheading it at an animal shelter. He told the arresting deputy he was hungry when asked why he killed the rabbit. Gruesome yes, but I can’t get Elmer Fudd out of my mind – “Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit, KILL THE WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAABBIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT !!!!!” 

The Celtics ruined a perfectly good Tuesday night by losing in OT to the lowly Nets after the Bruins had just beaten the Lightning earlier in the evening. 

Speaking of the Lightning, they had a goal taken back due to a reviewed offside call. Terrible call, I think. Love/Hate slo-mo replay, in all sports. 

Who do you think spends more time with his hair in the morning, President Trump or Boston Bruins’ coach Bruce Cassidy? 

Speaking of hair… Hey Shaq, lose the hairline and start shaving your head again. Jeez! 

Under the category of useless activities, don’t forget to turn your clocks back tomorrow night. 

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Scores of people, not just students, at Penn State gathered last Sunday night to mourn the loss of a Taco Bell location in State College, Penn after the fast-food restaurant abruptly closed. 

Trivia #1 answer: Bruno Sammartino won the WWF title in May of 1963. He held the title for nearly 8 years losing to whom in January, 1971? – The “Russian Bear” Ivan Koloff. Bonus: He promptly lost to Pedro Morales the following month.

Trivia #2 answer: On March 2, 1962 Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in a game, still a record. How many rebounds did he have in that game? – He had 25 rebounds to go along with his 100 points.  

“Lord, forgive me for what I’m thinking
Cause it’s Saturday night and I’m high and I’ve been drinking
But come tomorrow morning across the aisle
I look over and see her smile
Bow my head and the choir sings
Lord, forgive me; she’s bringing out the devil in me” 

– Anderson East

Briefly. (kinda) 

Trivia #1: Celtics’ coach Brad Stevens won his 243rd game last week moving into 5^th place for all-time wins as Celtics’ coach. Name the four ahead of him, bonus if you get them in order.

Trivia #2: Of the more than 350 items listed going up for sale Saturday morning at David Ortiz’s “all-star estate sale”, as dubbed by Exceptional Estate Sales of Sudbury. – Designer ladies clothing, Wally lunchbox, an Ortiz Bruins Jersey, Red Sox toaster, personalized wine bottle signed by Rick Porcello, 2002 HP All-in-One Printer, a pasta maker, Elliptical machine, statue of a frog playing a ukulele.

Trivia #3: What year was the first Mardi Gras celebration? – 1814, 1827, 1851, 1888, 1901, 1920

Trivia #4: What happens in the NFL just once every 14.31 games?

Trivia #5: Which of the following is not true of Kobe Bryant: He spoke fluent Italian, He was named CA High School Player of the Year, The Lakers were his favorite team growing up, He was named after the famous beef of Kobe, Japan, He was an 18-time NBA All-Star, He was born in Philadelphia? 

The NBA’s Dwayne Wade – now retired has approximately $120M and still worries about money. His parents split when he was young, Mom was on drugs, Dad was an alcoholic, he moved out at 16. Out of Marquette he was the #5 overall pick with the Heat, a 3-time NBA champ. Seems like a pretty humble guy. 

I don’t get out much and this may be old but I love Jay Bilas’ line the other night after a ridiculously long three – “…he’s got logo-range.” 

What a nice tribute to Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna on Monday.

On Monday night, after speaking at Kobe/G’s celebration, Oregon girls’ basketball phenom Sabrina Ionescu became the first NCAA player ever (not girls, the first player!) to amass 2,000 points, 1,000 rebounds and 1,000 assists in a career. 

Not sure why this took so long but MLB appointed 58-year old Kerwin Danley as its first African American umpire crew chief. DYK: Danley played college ball at San Diego State and was a first-team All-America outfielder in 1983 when he batted .399. His teammates included Colorado manager Bud Black and Tony Gwynn, his roommate. In a neat coincidence, Danley was the first base umpire when Gwynn got his 3,000^th hit. 

Revenge, you’re doing it right! A 26-year old woman once dumped by her fiancé for being “too fat”, got the ultimate revenge by being crowned Britain’s most beautiful woman. She went from 247 pounds to 131 in two years to help her bag the crown. 

Not only has Celtic’s Jason Tatum come into his own this season but I think he’s getting better each game. What a show! 

“Hey Ed, how’s Tim Tebow?” – asked no one, ever. Tebow’s first hit in the young spring season, after the first four games, was a homerun and his first dinger since July 5 in Triple-A. He said he had had “some communication” with the XFL about joining the upstart football league but decided to stick to the diamond. In four season with the Mets (all in the minors), Tebow has “hit” .222 with 18 homeruns and a .631 OPS. 

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Five men sued MLB, MLB Advanced Media, the Houston Astros and the Boston Red Sox in federal court in Manhattan claiming fraud, violation of consumer-protection laws, unjust enrichment and deceptive trade practices by teams that violated MLB’s rules against the use of electronics to steal catchers’ signs. The five said they participated in Draft Kings fantasy baseball contests. 

Great Celtics/Lakers game last Sunday. Not quite like in the eighties, but top notch. 

Quote for the week: “I’m the one who has to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.” – Jimi Hendrix 

R.I.P. – (Jeannette) Ja’Net Dubois (75) – Ja’Net was an American actress, singer-songwriter and dancer. She was best known as Willona Woods, the neighborhood gossip maven and good friend of the Evans family on the sitcom Good Times. She also co-wrote the theme song for the show “Movin’ on Up” for The Jeffersons. 

Trivia #1 answer: Celtics’ coach Brad Stevens won his 243rd game last week moving into 5^th place for all-time wins as Celtics’ coach. Name the four ahead of him, bonus if you get them in order. – K.C. Jones (308), Doc Rivers (416), Tommy Heinsohn (427), Red Auerbach (795)

Trivia #2 answer: Name the item that was NOT in list of items at David Ortiz’s “all-star estate sale”, as dubbed by Exceptional Estate Sales of Sudbury. – Designer ladies clothing, Wally lunchbox, an Ortiz Bruins Jersey, Red Sox toaster, personalized wine bottle signed by Rick Porcello, 2002 HP All-in-One Printer, a pasta maker, Elliptical machine, statue of a frog playing a ukulele. – There was no Elliptical machine (as the writer of the article noted, the 2002 printer should bring in at least $1!)

Trivia #3 answer: What year was the first Mardi Gras celebration? – 1814, 1827, 1851, 1888, 1901, 1920 – It was February 27, 1827

Trivia #4 answer: What happens in the NFL just once every 14.31 games? – A safety

Trivia #5: Which of the following is not true of Kobe Bryant: He spoke fluent Italian, He was named CA High School Player of the Year, The Lakers were his favorite team growing up, He was named after the famous beef of Kobe, Japan, He was an 18-time NBA All-Star, He was born in Philadelphia – A little tricky, he was PA High School Player of the Year, not CA 

Have a righteous day! 

Great tune to be in your head for a Friday! (for you youngsters out there, YouTube ‘Movin on Up’) 

“Fish don’t fry in the kitchen,

Beans don’t burn on the grill.

Took a whole lot of tryin’,

Just to get up that hill.

Now we’re up in the big leagues,

Getting’ our turn at bat.

As long as we live, it’s you and me baby

There ain’t nothin wrong with that.

 

Well we’re movin on up,

To the east side.

To a deluxe apartment in the sky.

Movin on up

To the east side.

We finally got a piece of the pie.”

Briefly. 

Trivia #1: Who has never been a member at Augusta National? – Warren Buffet, Roger Goodell, Lou Holtz, David Stern, Condoleezza Rice, Bill Gates, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Lynn Swann

Trivia #2: Who was the first Celtic inducted into the NBA Naismith Memorial Hall of Fame? 

For the third time in eight days – and second time in 24 hours – Chinese public health officials made changes Friday to their criteria for counting coronavirus cases, once again sowing confusion over the widely fluctuating figures. A handful of Chinese prisons reported nearly 500 new cases, a significant portion of more than 1,100 new cases reported in mainland China on Friday – and a marked increase after several days of declines. 

While the Bruins and Celtics are more than likely to be in the playoffs, you have to like/love the Bruins chances. The Celtics are just probably two years away. The Bruins, of course needing Tuukka/Halak to stay hot, have as a good a chance as any team in the NHL. 

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Fred Lee tweeted that his brother and his partner named their daughters SaTiva and Indica – two types of cannabis plant. 

John Henry you prick. Don’t insult our intelligence and try to tell us that the Mookie deal wasn’t driven by finances. 

Huey Lewis, of Hampton Beach Casino Fame, has Meniere’s disease, an inner-ear disorder related to dizziness and hearing loss. He actually lost most of the hearing in his right ear in the mid-80’s, but was able to carry on. Now he says, “I can’t hear the notes.” 

Headline of the week: “Let’s Call Them the Houston Asterisks*” 

How drunk, hungover, desperate do you need to be to purchase a sausage breakfast biscuit at a gas station? 

It’s been 40 years since the ‘Miracle on Ice.’ If you haven’t read the book or seen the movie, do so – this weekend! New York has earmarked over $100 million toward Lake Placid in the last couple of years for new facilities and improving existing ones. Governor Andrew Coumo touts the investment as ways to promote tourism, economic growth and job creation. Said Coumo, “It’s a shame that the state and a lot of places in this country don’t understand how beautiful this gem is because it is internationally special.” 

I dabble now and again in philanthropic causes and this is one of the best lines I’ve seen related to such – “You must be strong enough to engage with those of goodwill with whom you passionately disagree.” 

Bye-bye Brock Holt. Another one of my favorites. He signed with the Brewers for a pedestrian amount of $3.25M. Really? I’m still going to Opening Day but I may go into the ballpark solely to ‘boo’ John Henry. 

Add Chaka Khan’s Sunday night rendition of the National Anthem at the NBA All-Star game as one of the worst ever. 

R.I.P. Tony Fernandez (57) – Tony played 17 season in MLB and was on the 1993 World Champion Toronto Blue Jays team. He finished with 2,276 career hits, a .288 batting average and four Gold Gloves. DYK, I played whiffleball with Fernandez in a 1995 fundraising exhibition.

Trivia #1: Who has never been a member at Augusta National? – Warren Buffet, Roger Goodell, Lou Holtz, David Stern, Condoleezza Rice, Bill Gates, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Lynn Swann – David Stern

Trivia #2: Who was the first Celtic inducted into the NBA Naismith Memorial Hall of Fame? – “Easy” Ed Macauley 

“DC, San Antone and the Liberty Town, Boston and Baton Rouge
Tulsa, Austin, Oklahoma City, Seattle, San Francisco, too
Everywhere there’s music, real live music, bands with a million styles
But it’s still that same old rock and roll music
That really really drives ‘em wild” 

– Huey Lewis & The News

Briefly.

Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Customers at four U.S. Burger King locations (LA, San Fran, Boston and New York) will today be able to trade a photo of their ex for a free Whopper. 

Trivia #1: What country has the most golf courses per capita?

Trivia #2: What NHL player was the first to score a full-strength, power play, short-handed, penalty shot and open net goal in the same game? Mario Lemieux, Gordie Hull, Bobby Orr, Wayne Gretzky, Rocket Richard, Mike Bossy? 

Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some storms come to clear a path. 

The Toronto Raptors 15-game winning streak has ended. They enter the all-star break on a one-game losing streak. 

Did you hear this? Houston Astros’ owner Jim Crane claims that stealing signs (notifying batters of the oncoming pitch) didn’t impact games. If that is the case, then why bother having signs? What a fraud. 

Congratulations to Haverhill’s own Jordan Harris who scored in double OT for the Northeastern Huskies in capturing the Beanpot Championship. One local hockey aficionado predicts Jordan will be playing in the NHL by year’s end. He is currently with the Canadians. 

Tim Tebow news for the week. Six years ago the Tim Tebow Foundation started ‘Night to Shine’ where kids and adults with disabilities celebrate prom night and each guest is crowned king or queen of the prom. Last Friday over 110,000 took part in 720 churches in 34 countries. 

A gust of 209 mph was recorded atop California’s Kirkwood Mountain on Sunday. This was during a storm that caused widespread flooding in Washington and Oregon, and brought 5-foot waves on Lake Tahoe. 

What a steal by Marcus Smart last Sunday, sealing the victory over da thunda. 

Speaking of the Celtics… is it me or is it a total head-scratcher that they are going to retire Kevin Garnett’s number? Don’t get me wrong, I was a big Garnett fan but, retire his number??? 

Whatever I do drunk is none of my business! 

Headline of the week, seen in the Boston Globe yesterday: “Sox, blessedly, take the field” 

Andrew Benentendi is not a leadoff hitter. 

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Three high school athletes in CT, along with their families, filed a federal lawsuit Wednesday to prevent transgender athletes from competing in girls track and field meets, arguing that biologically male athletes have a physical advantage. (Duh!) 

Back to the “Jeter was the greatest shortstop” argument. Really? DYK, after being traded to the Cubs in 2004, Nomar Garciaparra suffered through years of injuries and never again played more than 122 games in a season. In his the prior seven seasons with the Red Sox, Nomar batted .325 with a .372 on base average, slugged .557 and averaged 24 homeruns. In Jeter’s first eight seasons, he batted .318 with a .390 on base average, slugged .462 and averaged 16 homeruns. 

Speaking of the Red Sox, they play one week from today. 

The more I watch the NBA the more I am done with it. (I may have mentioned this in the past) 

Not only did David Pastrnak score a hat trick the other night against the Canadians, but the Bruins beat the Canadians! 

May the wings of liberty never lose a feather. 

Mookie for Jeter Downs, named after Derek Jeter and thrown into the Mookie trade. “He could be ready for the big leagues as early as the second half of 2020.” He’s a shortstop! Does that mean Bogaerts will be shipped down to Triple A? Idiots. 

A jet stream accelerated by Storm Ciara last weekend aided a passenger plane en route from JFK Airport to London. The trip took 4 hours and 56 minutes breaking the previous record of 5 hours and 13 minutes. The average flight time for such a trip is 6 hours and 13 minutes. 

We turn the clocks ahead in 22 days. 

R.I.P. Jolene Archambault Dodier (50) – What a sweetheart! Too quick, too soon. 

Trivia #1 answer: What country has the most golf courses per capita? – Scotland

Trivia #2: What NHL player was the first to score a full-strength, power play, short-handed, penalty shot and open net goal in the same game? Mario Lemieux, Gordie Hull, Bobby Orr, Wayne Gretzky, Rocket Richard, Mike Bossy? – Mario Lemieux (New Year’s Eve, 1988) 

“To thrill you with delight
I’ll give you diamonds bright
They’ll be things that will excite
To make you dream of me tonight

(For your love)
(For your love)
(For your love)” 

– The Yardbirds

Briefly. 

Trivia #1: Who were the last three non-quarterback MVPs in Super Bowl history? Bonus if you get them in order – Deion Branch, Von Miller, Santonio Holmes, Julian Edelman, Dexter Jackson, Hines Ward, Malcolm Smith

Trivia #2: Who was born Issur Danielovitch? 

Yes, Patrick Mahommes led an epic comeback on way to the Chiefs’ Super Bowl victory last Sunday. Still, the MVP of the game, had the worst statistical game ever for an MVP quarterback. The league was too chicken to give the honor to Damien Williams, the real MVP. 

Smuggling drugs, you’re doing it wrong. Two men were arrested on the Florida Panhandle and charged with trafficking in methamphetamine and GHB, three counts of possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia. Authorities found 75 grams of methamphetamine, 1.36 kilograms of date-rape drug GHB, 1 gram of cocaine, 3.6 grams of fentanyl, 15 MDMA tablets and drug paraphernalia. The men were in a car traveling 95 mph and all drugs and paraphernalia were in a bag labeled “Bag Full of Drugs.” 

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Dramatic video is out there of a junior varsity basketball coach at a high school in New Jersey being assaulted by members of his own team after getting off the bus following a game. Are you kidding me? Imagine what would have happened back in the day? Heck, our own fathers would have kicked the crap out of us, regardless of whatever reason we gave. 

Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna will be memorialized on February 24, 2/24, commemorating his #24 and the number his daughter wore, #2. 

Speaking of basketball, the number of NBA players who miss games due to “injury” is laughable against that statistic in the NHL. 

The XFL kicks off (again) tomorrow with their eight teams facing off against one another. They will play a 10-game schedule, assuming the league lasts that long. 

I see you have graph paper, you must be plotting something. 

Big names move on at the NBA trade deadline: Andre Drummond, Andrew Wiggins, D’Angelo Russell, Andre Iguodala and finally, Haverhill’s own Noah Vonleh. Some guys are just career journeymen and guarantee this is not Vonleh’s last stop. Since being drafted 9^th overall in 2014, Noah has played in Charlotte, Portland (two separate stints), Chicago, New York, Minnesota and now Denver. 

Mookie Betts, gonna miss ya. Of course with any trade there are two schools of thought. I’m with the “pay him” school. Regardless of what you argue about the financial gains and potential for the Red Sox future, they are a less team today and just traded away one of the best players in baseball… in years. BTW, I will still be in attendance on Opening Day. 

Now I was a big Jerry Rice fan growing up but really, Jerry. No one wants to hear you whine about the officiating during the Super Bowl. Especially when you complain that your former team got screwed. 

The NHL is whacky. Thanks to the OT column in the standings, as of yesterday 25 of the 31 NHL teams W/L records are .500 or better! Huh? 

Shake-up the B’s top line??? I think the talk of breaking up Bergeron, Pastrnak and Marchand have finally ceased. Thankfully. 

Love him or hate him Adam Sandler, who of course grew up in Manchester, NH, has reached a deal with Netflix to make four new movies. 

R.I.P. Joe Vandever Sr. (96) – One of the last Navajo code talkers who transmitted top secret messages during World War II using Native American languages.

R.I.P. Kirk Douglas (103) – actor extraordinaire. Douglas never won an Academy Award but was nominated three times and had a lengthy, noteworthy career. 

Trivia #1 answer: Who were the last three non-quarterback MVPs in Super Bowl history? Bonus if you get them in order – Deion Branch, Von Miller, Santonio Holmes, Julian Edelman, Dexter Jackson, Hines Ward, Malcolm Smith – Julian Edelman – Patriots (LIII), Von Miller – Denver (L), Malcolm Smith – Seattle (XLVIII)

Trivia #2 answer: Who was born Issur Danielovitch? – Kirk Douglas 

“I walked forty-seven miles of barbed wire, I got a cobra snake for a necktie
A brand new house on the road side, and it’s made out of rattlesnake hide
Got a brand new chimney put on top, and it’s made outta human skull
Come on take a little walk with me baby, and tell me who do you love?” 

– George Thorogood and the Destroyers

Briefly. 

I was correctly reminded that Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door was covered by Eric Clapton, written by Bob Dylan. Ya, so? 

I also left out the answer to a trivia question last week: On May 13, 2013 the Boston Bruins defeated the Toronto Maple Leafs 5-4 in OT in the first-round of the playoffs. The game was chosen as the NHL’s game of the decade. Midway through the third period Toronto was leading 4-1 before their complete collapse. Boston’s Nathan Horton, Milan Lucic and Patrice Bergeron all scored to send the game into overtime. Who scored the game-winner? – Patrice Bergeron 

As coach Norman Dale (Gene Hackman) once said “I apologize for nothing.” 

Trivia #1: How many touchbacks have there been to start the Super Bowl in the last 26 years? – 0, 2, 7, 15, 20, 25

Trivia #2: Where did Dante Scarnecchia NOT coach? – New England Patriots, Northern Arizona, SMU, Iowa St, Oregon St, California Western, Indianapolis Colts

Trivia #3: Where was Super Bowl I played? – LA Coliseum, Tulane Stadium, Orange Bowl, Rose Bowl, Trinity Stadium

Trivia #4: Who was the headliner of the first Super Bowl halftime show? – Elvis Presley, Ella Fitzgerald, Ray Charles, the Three Stooges, Metallica 

AD/HD – On the highway to hey look, a squirrel! 

Quote for the week: “No matter how much you’ve won, no matter how many games, no matter how many championships, no matter how many Super Bowls, you’re not winning now, so you stink.” – Bill Parcells 

KC – 41, San Fran – 38 

God gave men balls just so they could bust each other’s. 

Coronavirus update: As of yesterday the death toll rose to 170 with a total of 7,711 infected. Over the prior 24 hours, 38 new deaths and 1,737 new infected cases were reported. Roughly 99 percent of the new cases have appeared in China and the virus has been reported in at least 16 countries globally. Let me repeat, this virus has nothing to do with drinking Corona! 

Pitchers and catchers (and managers??) report in 12 days. 

Who are these people? New York University law professor Lily Batchelder estimates that Americans will inherit $764 billion this year. 

Remaining on that theme, Mackenzie Bezos, former wife of Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, recently sold $37M worth of the Amazon shares she was awarded in the couple’s settlement. Her remaining shares are worth approximately $37B (with a “B”). Unlike her ex-husband, Mackenzie has signed the giving pledge of Bill Gates and Warren Buffet promising to donate half of her wealth over her life or in her will. Good for her, I say. 

Welcome back (to the Red Sox) Mitch “Mitchy Twobags” Moreland. 

Leaving your legacy, you’re doing it wrong. Andrea Grocer, 51, is known as a serial pooper after being arrested and charged with eight counts of wanton destruction of property after a Natick, MA police officer said he saw her defecating outside the Natick Outdoor Store. 

I really like Mike Gorman, Celtics play-by-play guy for many, many years. However, the other night he had a line for the ages as they headed into a commercial break: “As you know, a 10-point game in the NBA is well, a 10-point game.” 

Celebrating, you’re doing it wrong. A 60-year old woman has choked to death on a lamington — Australia’s national cake — during an eating competition to celebrate the country’s national day. 

Negative effects of smoking marijuana. You have less marijuana. 

R.I.P. – The nine victims of the tragic helicopter crash last Sunday in CA.

R.I.P. – Lillian “Lils” Lupi (93) – A true matriarch 

Trivia #1: How many touchbacks have there been to start the Super Bowl in the last 26 years? – 0, 2, 7, 15, 20, 25 – 2 (2013 & 2017)

Trivia #2: Where did Dante Scarnecchia NOT coach? – New England Patriots, Northern Arizona, SMU, Iowa St, Oregon St, California Western, Indianapolis Colts – Oregon St

Trivia #3: Where was Super Bowl I played? – LA Coliseum, Tulane Stadium, Orange Bowl, Rose Bowl, Trinity Stadium – LA Coliseum

Trivia #4: Who was the headliner of the first Super Bowl halftime show? – Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, The Beatles, Ella Fitzgerald, Ray Charles, The Three Stooges, Metallica – The Super Bowl I halftime show featured the Three Stooges, trumpeter Al Hirt, two college marching bands, two men in jet packs and 300 pigeons. (can’t make that shit up!) 

“Kings and queens and guillotines
Taking lives denied
Starch and parchment laid the laws
When bishops took the ride
Only to deceive” 

– Aerosmith