Friday, March 13, 2020

Briefly. 

Trivia #1: On Wednesday night, on the eve of his 33rd birthday, Tuukka Rask became just the second Finnish goalie to record his 50th career shutout. Who is the other?

Trivia #2: What is the smallest country in the world? – Monaco, Vatican City, Geordania, Naura, Lawrence 

March Madness! Madness, I tell you! 

I know a great joke about the coronavirus, you probably won’t get it though. 

The Players Championship – the 5th major? Puh-lease! 

Rudy Gobert, forever an idiot. Won’t shake that! 

I messed up. I did remember to wash my hands with warm water and sing a song, but instead of singing ‘Happy Birthday’ I sang ‘In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.’ Damn near rubbed the skin off both my hands! 

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Coronavirus… reactions. 

The Duke men’s basketball team was one of the first to pull out of the now cancelled NCAA men’s basketball tournament. Why? Because they knew they weren’t going to win. Pussies. 

Be concerned, but not consumed. 

DOH! A Louisiana woman was arrested on drug charges after police determined the $5,000 cash she used to post an inmate’s bail had a “strong odor of marijuana.” A search of her car turned up $40,000 in cash and 100 Klonopin pills. A subsequent search of her house found more cash and pills as well as marijuana, cocaine and paraphernalia. Four unattended children were turned over to a relative. 

The S7K Stand Alone Putter. You line up your putt, get your S7K on the correct angle and it stands by itself. Walk behind it and better lineup your putt. Brilliant! On Amazon for $199. 

I went to the chemist and asked the assistant, “What kills the coronavirus?” She replied “Ammonia Cleaner.” I said “Oh, sorry, I thought you worked here.”

Headline of the week: “Red Sox pitching taking shape.” Ya, like Charles Barkley took shape after he retired. 

More than two dozen people, including the trainer of champion Maximum Security, were charged with what authorities described Monday as an international scheme to drug horses to make them run faster. “What actually happened to the horses amounted to nothing less than abuse,” said William Sweeney Jr., assistant director in charge of the FBI New York office. 

If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14-day quarantine you probably should’ve seen a doctor long before Covid-19. 

I’ve said it previous years and I’ll say it again. We are in the midst of the best time in sports over the next five weeks or so, however this year it is all being ruined. The conference hoops tournaments, the NCAA tournament, Opening in MLB, Opening Day Fenway, and the Masters followed by the NHL and NBA playoffs. (throw in St. Patrick’s Day and my birthday) At least I can celebrate and enjoy St. Patrick’s Day and my birthday. 

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out. 

Trivia #1 answer: On Wednesday night, on the eve of his 33rd birthday, Tuukka Rask became just the second Finnish goalie to record his 50th career shutout. Who is the other? – Pekka Rinne

Trivia #2: What is the smallest country in the world? – Monaco, Vatican City, Geordania, Naura, Lawrence – Vatican City 

I may not have a vaccine for the coronavirus, but the following is the cure. 

“Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn’t even start
It’s Friday I’m in love”
 

– The Cure

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