Blog

Friday, May 3, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly.

I’m getting some “likes”, feeling some love. Thanks to you…

Anyone interested in a ride in a helicopter? We need one person to accompany us. We leave early next Sunday morning from Burlington airport and will fly over the city and the lake, then fly to and have lunch in Plattsburgh. Then we’ll do a flight back to Burlington airport. If interested, please message me. Preferably someone with a helicopter, otherwise we can’t go.

Trivia #1: Who is Jaylen Key?
Trivia #2: Brad Marchand recently passed Cam Neely with his 56th playoff goal, the most in Boston Bruins’ history. Which two of the following do not round out the top 5? – Johnny Bucyk, Phil Esposito, Rick Middleton, David Krejci, Patrice Bergeron

On this date: May 3, 1938, Lefty Grove defeats Tigers 4-3 for 1st of record 20 consecutive wins at his home field Fenway Park; he doesn’t lose there until May 12 1941. Wowza!
May 3, 1967, African American students seize finance building at Northwestern University. Hmmm, sound familiar?
May 3, 1991, future NHL HOF right wing Cam Neely injures knee on cheap shot by Ulf Samuelssin Wales Conference Finals; injury limits him to only 162 games for the remainder of his NHL career, retires at 31.

There were an estimated 700,000+ in attendance at the NFL draft in Detroit. That’s quite a party, probably quite the experience, but Detroit???

Go away: Anti-Israel protesters. Seriously, cut the crap and get back to class.

So little Yaz homered at Fenway. That is pretty cool.

Speaking of the NBA, congratulations to the Celtics’ Brad Stevens, the 2023-24 NBA Basketball Executive of the Year. Now let’s go win banner #18!

Stop complaining: Multiple tornadoes were ongoing simultaneously in Tillman County, Oklahoma, when the weather got weird. At least two of the tornadoes exhibited very odd behavior: one powerful tornado looped backward and recrossed its previous path and another significant tornado spun in the “wrong” direction. Oklahoma has seen more than two dozen tornadoes this past week.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Toronto Maple Leafs are 2-9 in their last 11 Game 7’s on the road. (come on Bruins, don’t do it again!)

Speaking of the Celtics, the Red Sox have a two-game series at the Atlanta Braves next week, then a two-game series against Atlanta in June at Fenway. Those are the only scheduled two-game series for the Red Sox this season. Why does that bother me…?

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Anti-Israel protesters targeted the American flag on the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill’s quad — which had been flying at half-mast after four Charlotte officers were killed in the line of duty. At one point, they replaced it with a Palestinian flag.

Good news: A student who held up her own American flag at a North Carolina campus Tuesday, after an anti-Israel mob desecrated an American flag flying on campus. Until the flag was restored, two students held up another American flag – so that there was always one waving on the campus quad despite the attempts from anti-Israel agitators to remove the symbol. 

They said it: “I would love to see Tyler O’Neil in the homerun derby.” – Dave Shea, Red Sox announcer. Dave, it’s April!!!

More good news… if you’re a Sox fan: The Red Sox finished April w/ their 6th shoutout – one more than the pitching staff recorded in all of 2023. They finish the month 4 games above .500 (17-13) matching their season high. The team ERA is 2.59, the lowest in baseball and the lowest Sox mark through 30 games since 1920.

Good news part deux: Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! Well, we didn’t beat them but at least someone else did!

Article I’ll skip: Longtime rumor about Marilyn Monroe confirmed on wiretap, book claims.

Last Sunday was Noah Kahan night at Fenway Park. Apparently, he is somebody. He even has his own bobblehead!

Good news: Disney parks will issue lifetime bans for people who lie about disabilities. Well, good! They should!

R.I.P. Michael Woelfel (75) – Oldest of the 12-sibling Woelfel clan, all-around great guy. He will be missed.

Trivia #1 answer: Who is Jaylen Key? – Alabama safety Jaylen Key was the last selection in the NFL draft (NY Jets), this year’s Mr. Irrelevant.
Trivia #2 answer: Brad Marchand recently passed Cam Neely with his 56th playoff goal, the most in Boston Bruins’ history. Which two of the following do not round out the top 5? – Johnny Bucyk, Phil Esposito, Rick Middleton, David Krejci, Patrice Bergeron – Top 5 – Marchand (56), Neely (55), Patrice Bergeron (50), Phil Esposito (46), Rick Middleton (55)

Before I got married, I’d just smash into the back of cars because I didn’t have a wife to gasp, scream and hit the imaginary brake when someone else braked 3 miles ahead.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National School Lunch Hero Day! (And I hope everyone has a great Derby Day tomorrow!)

“Saturday night I was downtown
Working for the FBI
Sittin’ in a nest of bad men
Whiskey bottles piling high”

– The Hollies (Long Cool Woman (In A Black Dress))

Friday, April 26, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly.

My wife and I started role playing in the bedroom. Her go-to is “sexy librarian” where I have to sit quietly in the corner while she reads a book.

Trivia #1: Who is Chase Garbers?
Trivia #2: Last Friday, the Red Sox had 3 different players <= 24 years-old hit a homerun in the same game since 1987: Ellis Burks, Mike Greenwell and who?
Trivia #3: On April 26, 1912, the first homerun was hit at Fenway Park. Who hit it? – Casey Hageman, Tris Speaker, Hugh Bradley, Duffy Lewis, Ray Collins
Trivia #4: What is the dirtiest river in the U.S.? – Mississippi, Ohio, Calcasieu, Tennessee, Cuyahoga, Red River

On this date: April 26, 1983, Stanford quarterback John Elway is the first pick in the NFL draft by the Baltimore Colts  
April 26, 1994, physicists announce first evidence of the top quark subatomic particle.

Speaking of the NFL draft last night, the biggest winner appears to be Bill Belichick. Why? Bill was not hired during the offseason by the Atlanta Falcons who pulled a big head-scratcher by selecting Washington quarterback Michael Penix with the 8th overall pick. Not only had they signed quarterback Kirk Cousins a few months earlier to a $180M contract, but Penix has torn his right ACL twice, once in 2018 and once in 2020 with Indiana, and he had a clavicle fracture in 2019 and an A/C joint separation in 2021. What?!

Miami’s 1st round selection, Demeioun “Chop” Robinson, got his nickname as a child. He was 14 lbs at birth and his mother called him “Porkchop.” He didn’t like that so he cut it down to “Chop.”

Go away: Gisele. Oh, poor Gisele. Everyone wants to take her picture. Poor Gisele.

This just in, the PGA’s Scottie Scheffler is pretty good. After winning yet again last week, Scheffler now has 35 top 10 finishes in his last 51 PGA tournaments.

April 2024 is Cancer Prevention and Early Detection Month.

There is no shame in taking the senior discount. If you have to be older, use it to your advantage.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: On April 26, 1994, physicists announce first evidence of the top quark subatomic particle.

Playoff NBA still can’t hang with playoff NHL.

Speaking of the Celtics, here’s a fun fact. The Celtics had more 30-point leads during the regular season than they had 10-point deficits. (They trailed by 10+ points Wednesday night. DOH!)

We need home court/ice advantage this, we need home court/ice advantage that. In the last 16 playoff games at the Garden, the Celtics are 4-7 and the Bruins are 1-4.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Researchers are warning that facial recognition technologies are “more threatening than previously thought” and pose “serious challenges to privacy” after a study found that artificial intelligence can be successful in predicting a person’s political orientation based on images of expressionless faces. 

Heckling, you’re doing it right! Finn Turlington, who turned 18 in February, was heckled on the basketball court at his school. In an effort to taunt him, an opposing team passed around nude modeling photos of Turlington’s supermodel mother, Christy. (Hmmm, when’s the next game??)

Former Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Calvin “Megatron” Johnson got a bigger ovation at the draft last night than former Detroit running back Barry Sanders. If kids only knew…

Drake Maye. Meh

And Roger Godell was booed mercilessly every time he stepped to the podium. Ya, I grinned each time.

Shoot me. Bill Belichick has been tabbed to be a “a regular recurring part of” the “ManningCast,” where Peyton and Eli Manning dissect “Monday Night Football” in real time. I’d love to watch/listen to Belichick but those two make my skin crawl.

The United Football League (UFL) – 5 things to watch for in week 4. Oh, so I guess the season started??

Good news: By the time you read next Friday’s blog, Mel Kiper will have disappeared from our lives as he does every year after the NFL draft.

Many regions across the United States experienced “record-breaking high temperatures” in 2023 due to extreme heat, according to the CDC. Emergency room visits due to heat-related illness peaked in several regions in the U.S. and remained elevated for a prolonged duration compared to visits between 2018 and 2022.

Protesting, you’re doing it wrong. The man who set himself on fire outside the New York City courthouse where former President Trump’s hush money trial was being held has been pronounced dead. Maxwell Azzarello, 37, of St. Augustine, Florida, died Friday night from his severe burns after lighting himself on fire earlier in the day inside Collect Pond Park near the Manhattan Criminal Courthouse.

Article I’ll skip: Zac Brown Band founding member on technology that scares him to death.

Trivia #1 answer: Who is Chase Garbers? – Garbers is the starting quarterback for the UFL’s San Antonio Brahmas
Trivia #2 answer: Last Friday, the Red Sox had 3 different players <= 24 years-old hit a homerun in the same game since 1987: Ellis Burks, Mike Greenwell and who? – Sam Horn
Trivia #3 answer: On April 26, 1912, the first homerun was hit at Fenway Park. Who hit it? – Casey Hageman, Tris Speaker, Hugh Bradley, Duffy Lewis, Ray Collins – Hugh Bradley
Trivia #4 answer: What is the dirtiest river in the U.S.? – Mississippi, Ohio, Calcasieu, Tennessee, Cuyahoga, Red River – The Ohio River (a lifeline for six states, the river battles a relentless foe: industrial pollution.)

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Help a Horse Day!

90% of a relationship is figuring out where to eat.

“Keep on smilin’ through the rain, laughin’ at the pain
Rollin’ with the changes til the sun comes out again
Keep on smilin’ through the rain, laughin’ at the pain
Rollin’ with the changes, singin’ this refrain”

– Wet Willie (Keep on Smilin’)

If you’re too busy to watch this nearly 12 minute video, turn it up, listen and go about your business. Otherwise, enjoy and keep on smilin’.

Friday, April 19, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly. (Why do I bother…)

Wife: “I was talking to you and you yawned six times. Am I boring you?”
Husband: “Those weren’t yawns. Those were six unsuccessful attempts to speak.”

Trivia #1: Al Leiter made his major league debut in 1987 with the New York Yankees and ended his career with them also. What other team did Al throw a no-hitter for in 1993?
Trivia #2: The Atlanta Braves Greg Maddux’s personal record for fewest pitches thrown in a complete game victory was: 77, 79, 82, 83, 87, 89, 93, 95, 100

On this date: April 19, 607, Comet 1P/607 H1 (Halley) approaches within 0.0898 AUs of Earth
April 19, 1963, Johnny Cash releases single “Ring of Fire”
April 19, 1965, at a cost of $20,000, the outer Astrodome ceiling is painted because of sun’s glare, this causes the grass to die.
April 19, 1995, Timothy McVeigh sets a truck bomb at Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building, Oklahoma City, killing 168, including 19 children and injuring 500.

Bacon makes everything better.

Go away: Anything/Anyone to do with Robert Kraft and Bill Belichick. That ship has sailed as far as I’m concerned.

What a gem of a game the Red Sox’ Tanner Houck threw Wednesday night beating the Cleveland Indians 3-0. The game lasted one hour and 49 minutes, the shortest game since 2010, as Houck threw only 94 pitches while walking none.

Speaking of golf, as a public service, watch for those guys who take on their hat and run their fingers (using their right hand!) threw their hair before shaking hands with you after the round. Gross! John Rahm, and many others, are notorious for such act. I suggest quickly shifting to the fist-pump.

Stop complaining: Late last Sunday through Thursday, one year’s worth of rain fell in Dubai where at least 20 people were killed in flood waters.

April 2024 is Cancer Prevention and Early Detection Month.

Of the many things we learned watching the Masters last weekend, LIV golfer Cameron Smith didn’t get any better looking during the past year.

Tweet of the week: Israel has intercepted 99% of Irans’ missiles and drones. Antonio Brown: “Iran is starting quarterback Kenny Pickett.”

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: On April 19, 607, Comet 1P/607 H1 (Halley) approaches within 0.0898 AUs of Earth

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: NFL draft updates. Enough already! The draft begins next Thursday, let’s just get it done!

Wanna get away? How about whoever owned the car that had its alarm blaring during the Masters last weekend?

The Celtics begin their playoff run on Sunday versus… The Bruins take on the Toronto Maple Leafs (of the Original 6) in the first round beginning tomorrow night.

More useless information, supposed to spark my imagination: The Toronto Maple Leafs are part of the original 6.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Utah’s Nebo school district is pushing back on allegations from students about “furries” – people who identify as animals – in their middle school, with some rumors of animal-like “licking” and “biting.”

They said it: “I’ve had a speech problem coming on for the last year. There is nothing wrong with me physically and they can’t figure it out.” – Former Boston Bruins broadcaster Jack Edwards

Trivia #1 hint: It was the franchise’s first no-hitter.

On Wednesday, Jack Leiter made his major league debut with the Texas Rangers. He made Al & Mark Leiter the first MLB brothers to each have a son who made it to the show. Mark’s son Mark Jr. pitches for the Cubbies. (For the record, Jack got lit up for 3 2/3 innings, 8 hits, 7 earned runs, 3 walks and 3 strikeouts.)

Good news: NFL draft rumors will end in one week

Article I’ll skip: Blake Shelton says he would return to “The Voice” on one condition. (Spare me, Blake)

R.I.P. Dorrel Norman Elvert “Whitey” Herzog (92) – MLB manager for 18 seasons, compiling a record of 1,281-1,125 while leading the St. Louis Cardinals to pennant-winning seasons in 1982, 1985 & 1987, and a World Series title in 1982. He also managed the Kansas City Royals to division titles in 1976-1978, had his number (24) retired by the Cardinals and was inducted into the Hall of Fame.
R.I.P. Forrest Richard “Dickey” Betts (80) – Betts, whose country-inflected songwriting and blazing, lyrical guitar work opposite Duane Allman in the Allman Brothers Band helped define the Southern rock genre of the ‘60s and ‘70s. (One of my favorite guitarists/bands, just sayin’)

Congratulations to Jack Edwards who has announced his retirement after a 19-year career as the Boston Bruins broadcaster. “My dream job,” said Edwards. (Are any of you working your “dream job???”)

Speaking of the Celtics, stayed tuned as play-by-play announcer Mike Gorman calls his final playoff series call with the Celtics. A “class act” like no other!

Trivia #1 answer: Al Leiter made his major league debut in 1987 with the New York Yankees and ended his career with them also. What other team did Al throw a no-hitter for in 1993? – The Florida Marlins
Trivia #2: The Atlanta Braves Greg Maddux’s personal record for fewest pitches thrown in a complete game victory was: 79, 82, 83, 87, 89, 93, 95, 100 – 77

Wife to therapist: “I told him if anything happened to me, he should date other women.”
Husband: “So I did.”
Wife: “I meant if I died, Peter. I was stuck in traffic!”

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet Day!

“You’re my blue sky, you’re my sunny day
Lord, you know it makes me high when you turn your love my way,
Turn your love my way, yeah”

– The Allman Brothers Band (Blue Sky)

Bonus tune!

Friday, April 12, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly. (Not!)

I love you all. Except you. You know who you are. Douchebag.

Trivia #1: Who is the oldest first-time winner of the Masters golf tournament, and who is the oldest second-time winner, pick two: Jack Nicklaus, Mark O’Meara, Tiger Woods, Ben Crenshaw, Gary Player, Dane Hubbard
Trivia #2: How many players teed off in Masters for the first time yesterday? – 5, 10, 13, 15, 18, 20
Trivia #3: How many different lefties have won the Masters?
Trivia #4: What two players are tied for having made the most consecutive cuts at the Masters (23)? – Fred Couples, Jack Nicklaus, Tiger Woods, Gary Player, Tom Watson, Fuzzy Zoeller
Trivia #5: Jack Nicklaus, Gary Player and Tom Watson have been the starters at the Masters since 2022, the year Tom Watson joined them. Other than Lee Elder stepping in in 2021, Arnold Palmer was a starter from 2007-2016. Who was the starter from 1984-2002?

I have to give credit where credit is due. Outstanding job by the Red Sox organization on Tuesday honoring the 2004 championship team, Larry Lucchino, and Tim and Stacy Wakefield. If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend it.

By the way, did you realize the Red Sox honored #49, Tim Wakefield on April 9 (4/9)? Whoa…

On this date: April 12, 1811, the first U.S. colonists on the Pacific coast arrive at Cape Disappointment, Washington.
April 12, 1945, US President Franklin D. Roosevelt dies in office and Vice President Harry Truman is sworn in as the 33rd US President.
April 12, 1960, MLB Chicago White Sox owner Bill Veeck debuts “Exploding Scoreboard” at Chicago’s Comiskey Park
April 12, 1961, Douglas MacArthur declines offer to become baseball commissioner

Well, another solar eclipse, another event where I heard of zero people being blinded by the sun. (Pretty cool event, tough)

Go away: OJ… finally

This just in, the PGA’s Scottie Scheffler is pretty good.

April 2024 is Cancer Prevention and Early Detection Month.

Old School: A brazen Los Angeles cash heist on Easter weekend in which thieves cracked a safe and got away with as much as $30 million is believed to be one of the largest such heists in U.S. history.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Cape Disappointment, Washington, sees about 2,552 hours of fog each year, the equivalent of 106 days, making it one of the foggiest places in the U.S.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: Bronny James, LeBron James’ son, will enter the NBA draft. Really, do people give a shit about Bronny?

The Celtics were spanked by the second place Bucks last night (2 games remain). The Bruins have a 1-point lead over the second place Panthers in the Atlantic Division with 3 games remaining.

Speaking of the Red Sox, here we go. After the aforementioned west coast swing, the Sox came back to friendly Fenway only to lose the first three games vs. Baltimore. We’ve been concerned about the Red Sox for a reason.

Last night, Sox’ pitcher Isaiah Campbell came on to pitch the 10th inning with the game tied at 4-4. Campbell proceeded to let up 4 hits and 5 runs in the 9-4 loss. U-G-L-Y.

Speaking of hockey, it does seem that we see many of the same schools in the NCAA Division I Men’s Ice Hockey Championship and this year did not disappoint as BC, Michigan, Denver and BU entered the “Frozen Four” last night. Tomorrow BC will take on BU in the final.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: California GOP leaders are calling for more accountability after an audit released earlier this week indicated that the state spent around $24 billion to tackle the homeless crisis over the past five years but did not consistently track whether the huge outlay of public money did anything to actually improve the problem. The state auditor’s report found that despite roughly $24 billion spent on homeless and housing programs during the 2018-2023 fiscal years, the problem didn’t improve in many cities.

Good news: Would it be wrong to mention OJ here?

Article I’ll skip: Famed trial witness Kato Kaelin wonders if OJ Simpson ‘made peace with God’ on deathbed

The Red Sox Jaren “Duran” Duran finally listened to everyone and stopped dying his hair.

R.I.P. Paul Nissi (84) – Member of the Haverhill High School 1955 Massachusetts State football team, went on to play at Notre Dame (my uncle)
R.I.P. Donald “Donny” White (85) – Quarterback of the same 1955 Haverhill School state championship football team, went on to play quarterback at Notre Dame.
R.I.P. Larry Lucchino (78) – Died of congestive heart failure, was a three-time cancer survivor. The Boston Red Sox won three World Series championships under Lucchino’s time as the team’s president/CEO from 2002 through 2015. Lucchino is responsible for the construction or revamping of five stadiums: Camden Yards in downtown Baltimore when he was president of the Orioles; Petco Park in downtown San Diego when he was president and CEO of the Padres; Fenway Park; JetBlue Park at the Red Sox’s spring training facility in Fort Myers, Florida; and Polar Park, home of the Worcester Red Sox in the city’s Canal District.

They said it: “The eclipse could be a further indication of climate change.” – Sonny Hostin of “The View”

Trivia #1 answer: Who is the oldest first-time winner of the Masters golf tournament, and who is the oldest second-time winner, pick two: Jack Nicklaus, Mark O’Meara, Tiger Woods, Ben Crenshaw, Gary Player – Mark O’Meara is the oldest first-time winner (41 years, 89 days) and Ben Crenshaw is the oldest second-time winner (43 years, 88 days)
Trivia #2 answer: How many players teed off in Masters for the first time yesterday? – 5, 10, 13, 15, 18, 20 – There were 20
Trivia #3 answer: How many different lefties have won the Masters? – 3 (Mike Weir, Phil Mickelson, Bubba Watson)
Trivia #4 answer: What two players are tied for having made the most consecutive cuts at the Masters (23)? – Fred Couples, Jack Nicklaus, Tiger Woods, Gary Player, Tom Watson, Fuzzy Zoeller – Fred Couples (1983-2007) and Gary Player (1959-1982)
Trivia #5: Jack Nicklaus, Gary Player and Tom Watson have been the starters at the Masters since 2022, the year Tom Watson joined the other two. Other than Lee Elder stepping in in 2021, Arnold Palmer was a starter from 2007-2016. Who was the starter from 1984-2002? – Sam Snead

Son: “Dad, I don’t like motorcycles as much as you do. Am I adopted?”
Father: “Not yet, we can’t find anyone that wants you.”

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day!

“Nobody left to run with anymore
Nobody left to do the crazy things we used to do before
Nobody left to run with anymore”

– The Allman Brothers Band (No One to Run With)

Friday, April 5, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly.

Son: “Dad, why is my sister’s name Rose?
Dad: “Because your mother loves roses.”
Son: “Oh, thanks, Dad.”
Dad: “No problem, Opening Day.”

Trivia #1: Who is Ingrid Lindblad?
Trivia #2: What major league pitcher holds the record for the most Opening Day starts, how many?
Trivia #3: What major league pitcher holds the record for the most consecutive Opening Day starts, how many? (Yes, different answer than the previous question)
Trivia #4: David Pastrnak became just the 5th Boston Bruins player to have consecutive 100-point seasons. Which of the following is not one of the other four? – Barry Pederson, Bobby Orr, Phil Esposito, Rick Middleton, Adam Oates

On this date: April 5, 1923, Firestone Tire and Rubber Company starts producing inflatable tires
April 5, 2063, Earth’s 1st contact with the extraterrestrial Vulcan species in the Star Trek universe

Go away: Angel Reese. You lost, Caitlyn Clark is better than you, go home.

April 2024 is Cancer Prevention and Early Detection Month.

As a public service: Millennials are about twice as likely to develop colon cancer and four times as likely to develop rectal cancer compared to people born prior to 1950. From the mid-1980s through 2013, colon cancer rates found in those ages 20-29 rose up to 2.4 percent per year and has led the major professional medical societies including the American Cancer Society, the American College of Gastroenterology and the US Preventive Services Task Force to advise lowering screening from age 50 to age 45 for patients with no risk factors. As a friend preaches; “Get your butt checked!”

OK, I get it. Seven games against Seattle and Oakland but, if the Sox didn’t play well everyone would be all over them so let’s give some credit. Starting pitching has a 1.89 ERA and 0.79 WHIP, 46 K’s and 3 BB. Too early to give new pitching coach Andrew Bailey too much credit but so far, so not-bad.

Speaking of Oakland, the average attendance for the three-game series with the Red Sox was 6,055. How they survive is beyond me.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: April 5, 2063, Earth’s 1st contact with the extraterrestrial Vulcan species in the Star Trek universe

This beer tastes like I’m not going to work tomorrow.

The Celtics have a 13-game lead over the second place Bucks in the Eastern Conference (6 games remain). The Bruins have a 4 point lead over the second place Panthers in the Atlantic Division (5 games remain).

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: It’s April 5th and I’m looking at 6 inches of snow outside of my window while some of you are looking at more than two feet. Mingya!

Good news: This snow will melt in a couple/few days, right??

Article I’ll skip: Valerie Bertinelli shares the ‘three-week rule’ she has with new boyfriend

R.I.P. Lou Conter (102) – The last known survivor of the attack of the USS Arizona in Pearl Harbor. Shortly after the horrors in Hawaii, Conter was selected for flight training and became a Navy aviator. He flew some 200 combat missions in the Pacific throughout WWII. After WWII, Conter went on to serve in the Korean War. Later, he became the Navy’s first SERE officer — an acronym for survival, evasion, resistance and escape. For years, he helped establish the program, training Navy pilots and crew how to survive if they were shot down in the jungle and captured as prisoners of war. By the end of his 27-year career in the Navy, in 1967, he’d risen to the ranks of lieutenant commander. 

They said it: “Guys were coming out of the fire, and we were just grabbing them and laying them down, they were real bad. You would pick them up by the bodies, and the skin would come off in your hands.” – Lou Conter

DYK: In a 2021 Veterans Affairs release, it was stated that then, 80 years after the attack on Pearl Harbor, up to 9 quarts of oil continued to spill from the USS Arizona into the harbor. Wowza!

Trivia #1 answer: Who is Ingrid Lindblad? – She is the number one ranked women’s amateur golfer.
Trivia #2 answer: What major league pitcher holds the record for the most Opening Day starts, how many? – Tom Seaver (16)
Trivia #3 answer: What major league pitcher holds the record for the most consecutive Opening Day starts, how many? (Yes, different answer than the previous question) – Jack Morris (14)
Trivia #4 answer: David Pastrnak became just the 5th Boston Bruins to have consecutive 100-point seasons. Which of the following is not one of the other four? – Barry Pederson, Bobby Orr, Phil Esposito, Rick Middleton, Adam Oates – Rick Middleton (He had two but not consecutive)

Bartending: Helping people feel good about bad choices.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Deep Dish Pizza Day! And… Happy Opening Day!!! (Fenway, next Tuesday) And again… Happy Birthday to Meatsy!

“The Rooters gave the other team a dreadful fright
Bobston’s tenth man could not be wrong
Up from “Third Base” to Huntington
They’d sing another victory song

Two! Three! Four!”

– Dropkick Murphys (Tessie)

Bonus!

Friday, March 29, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly. (Roadtrip!)

It’s baseball season.

As Easter Sunday approaches just remember, going to church doesn’t make you a catholic any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Trivia #1: What is Propionibacterium?
Trivia #2: At the time of his retirement, Carlton Fisk held the record for most homeruns all-time by a catcher. How many did he have and what catcher has since surpassed his record?
Trivia #3: Second baseman Joe Morgan is in the Baseball Hall of Fame, the Cincinnati Reds Hall of Fame and what other team’s hall of fame?

It reminds us of all that once was good and it could be again.

On this date: March 29, 1795, Ludwig van Beethoven (24) has his debut performance as a pianist in Vienna
March 29, 1827, 20,000 people attend Ludwig van Beethoven’s funeral
March 29, 2017, man’s body found inside 7m long reticulated python in Sulawesi, Indonesia

Go away: Dan Hurley, UConn men’s basketball head coach. He’s bitching about not more Big East teams qualifying for the NCAA tournament. Please, Dan, everyone has a bitch regarding the selection committee, we don’t need to hear yours.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: See trivia answer #1

What’s that? You want to know about the Red Sox’ schedule? Well, last night they started the season in Seattle on the dreaded West coast swing, 10 games, their longest road trip of the season. They then return to Fenway and begin their longest homestand of the season, 10 games. From August 9 through September 4, they are scheduled to play 26 games in 27 days. Lebron would probably need to rest for 6 or so of those games.

All indications are that the Red Sox are going to suck this season so try to prepare yourselves accordingly. Me? I am beaming with confidence!

This just in, the Sox are undefeated!

The DunKings Munchkin Skewer. Sheer brilliance!

Parenting, you’re doing it wrong. A bystander on Daytona Beach called authorities after watching a couple drink too much and leaving their two children to wander off. When deputies arrived, they found Timothy Stephens and Alyssia Langley passed out on the beach. The Georgia couple realized their children, five and seven, were missing after the deputies asked about the kids. Deputies later found the children unsupervised at a nearby hotel in the swimming pool. While handcuffed, Stephens tried to run from deputies and fell, knocking himself unconscious on the sand.

Good News: A simple blood test could detect colorectal cancer (CRC) with more than 80% accuracy, according to a new study from the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center in Seattle, Washington.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: McDonald’s to sell Krispy Kreme doughnuts nationwide. What is this world coming to??

Article I’ll skip: Feds raid Diddy’s mansions on two different coasts in human trafficking investigation. (Scumbag. No need for me to read anything outside of the headline)

Trivia #1 answer: What is Propionibacterium? – It is a particular bacterial strain that is the primary cause of the holes in Swiss cheese. Propionibacterium takes the lactic acid leftover from other bacteria and transforms it into carbon dioxide. The gas doesn’t escape but gets trapped, forming bubbles that we call “holes.”
Trivia #2 answer: At the time of his retirement, Carlton Fisk held the record for most homeruns all-time by a catcher. How many did he have and what catcher has since surpassed his record? – 376, since surpassed by Mike Piazza.
Trivia #3 answer: Second baseman Joe Morgan is in the Baseball Hall of Fame, the Cincinnati Reds Hall of Fame and what other team’s hall of fame? – The Houston Astros Hall of Fame

Husband to his wife: “You’ve been telling me I’ve been wrong for 30 years!”
Wife: “31”

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Vietnam War Veterans Day!

They said it: “Ray, people will come Ray. They’ll come to Iowa for reasons they can’t even fathom. They’ll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they’re doing it. They’ll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won’t mind if you look around, you’ll say. It’s only $20 per person. They’ll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they’ll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They’ll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they’ll watch the game and it’ll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they’ll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it’s a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh… people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.” – Terence Mann (James Earl Jones) from “Field of Dreams”

“Got a beat-up glove, a home-made bat
And a brand-new pair of shoes
You know I think it’s time to give this game a ride
Just to the hit the ball, and touch ‘em all
A moment in the sun
It’s a gone and you can tell that one good-bye”

– John Fogerty (Centerfield

Friday, March 22, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly.

It’s madness!

If you are better off now than you were four years ago, you’re probably an illegal alien.

Trivia #1: Who was the last National League pitcher to win 25 games?
Trivia #2: Who is Bobby Plump?

“I’m just trying to make some sense…”

On this date: March 22, 1978, Karl “The Great” Wallenda, (German acrobat of The Flying Wallendas) dies after falling off a tight-rope between two hotels in San Juan, Puerto Rico, at age 73.
March 22, 2023, new DNA analysis of Ludwig van Beethoven’s hair reveals he probably died of cirrhosis of the liver and hepatitis B, but doesn’t explain his deafness.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: March 22, 2023, new DNA analysis of Ludwig van Beethoven’s hair reveals he probably died of cirrhosis of the liver and hepatitis B, but doesn’t explain his deafness.

They said it: “It’s unfortunate that it looks poorly, but I really had no ill intents.” – Wyndham Clark, who committed a rules infraction in last weekend’s Arnold Palmer Invitational when he grounded his club in the rough, moving his ball. He was not assessed a penalty. Hey, fool me once… but Clark did the same thing in last year’s U.S. Open.

Stop complaining: Unless you are a Detroit Pistons fan.

Good News: Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Jalen Hurts read about the passing of a Houston-area North Shore High School football player who was shot and killed at a house party and decide to pay his funeral expenses. Hurt had played football at rival Channelview High School.

Trivia #1 hint: He was also the last pitcher in either league to throw 300 innings in a season.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Another $5.8 billion was discharged in student loan debt for 78,000 borrowers under the public service loan forgiveness program that impacts teachers, nurses, firefighters, social workers, and other public servants, including the military. Total debt relief is now $62,5 billion for 871,000 borrowers since October 2021.

Also, prospective lawyers will no longer have to pass the bar exam to work in Washington, the state Supreme Court ruled in a pair of orders authorizing alternative pathways to licensing. The exam “disproportionately and unnecessarily blocks marginalized groups from entering the practice of law” and is “at best minimally effective for ensuring competent lawyers,” the Bar Licensure Task Force determined.

So, let me get this right. The Golden State Warriors’ Draymond Green is a spokesperson for AT&T? This past winter, the Golden State Warriors star was ejected and suspended twice for violent acts: the first, a chokehold of Minnesota’s Rudy Gobert, leading to a five-game ban; the second, a swinging whack to the jaw of Phoenix’s Jusuf Nurkic, resulting in an indefinite suspension on Dec. 13. The suspension lasted about a month, costing him 12 games. Indefinite suspensions in the NBA are rare, but NBA officials considered Green’s messy history, which includes punching former teammate Jordan Poole during a practice in October 2022 and stomping on the chest of Sacramento’s Domantas Sabonis in a playoff game last spring, along with an extensive catalog of technicals and flagrant fouls over the past dozen years. Hey AT&T, that should sell!

The two five-story buildings photographed for Led Zeppelin’s “Physical Graffiti” album cover are located at 96 and 98 St. Mark’s Place in New York City. The fourth floor of the building had to be cropped out to fit the square album cover format.  The front doorway and stoop at 96 St. Mark’s Place is also the location used by the Rolling Stones for the music video promoting their single “Waiting on a Friend”, from their 1981 album “Tattoo You”). Whoa…

Article I’ll skip: Manziel’s shocking pick for all-time greatest QB will leave you stunned. (I guess I don’t want to be stunned)

Trivia #1 answer: Who was the last National League pitcher to win 25 games? – Philadelphia’s Steve Carlton in 1972 (He threw 304 innings in 1980).
Trivia #2: Who is Bobby Plump? – Bobby Plump’s last shot for tiny Milan High School was a 17-foot jumper that captured the 1954 Indiana state basketball championship. The victory by the Milan Indians, 70 years ago this past Wednesday, inspired the David-beats-Goliath 1986 Hollywood sports flick “Hoosiers.”

I recently joined a nudist colony. The first few days are the hardest.

Good luck with your respective NCAA brackets. Enjoy the show!

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Goof Off Day! (currently celebrated daily, by many)

“Greasy slicked down
Groovy leather trim
I like the way you hold the road
Mama, it ain’t no sin.

Talking ‘bout love”

– Led Zeppelin (Trampled Under Foot)

Bonus: The Rolling Stones

Friday, March 15, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly.

I had sex for an hour and 40 seconds last Saturday night. Thanks, daylight savings!

Trivia #1: What is “Tokophobia?”
Trivia #2: How many golf balls have been hit into the water surrounding the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass, the site of THE PLAYERS (being played this weekend) since 2003, in THE PLAYERS tournament? – 602, 699, 723, 802, 868, 909, 973
Trivia #3: Longwood University punched their ticket to the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. What state is the university located in and what is their nickname?

“She had twenty-three masts, and she stood several blasts, and they called her the Irish Rover.”

On this date: March 15, 44 BC, Julius Caesar is stabbed to death by Brutus, Cassius and several other Roman senators on the Ides of March in Rome.
March 15, 1968, LIFE magazine calls Jimi Hendrix “the most spectacular guitarist in the world”
March 15, 1972, “The Godfather”, based on the book by Mario Puzo, directed by Francis Ford Coppola and starring Marlin Brando and Al Pacino, premiers in NYC (Academy Awards Best Picture 1973)

‘Tis the season, and what a great season it is as “Selection Sunday” is in a couple days, followed by the NCAA Basketball Tournament, Opening Day in MLB across the country and then the NFL Draft. All the while in the midst of the end of the NBA and NHL regular seasons. Bring it on!

But first, let’s enjoy Championship Week(end) and THE PLAYERS.

Go away: Aaron Rodgers. He’s been here before. You’re 40-years-old, go jump into politics and leave the NFL/Jets alone.

Speaking of the NFL, how about the movement with players during the past couple of days?! The upcoming draft prospects just got juicier!

They said it: “You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year… unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time.” – Bob Uecker

Guinness beer sales rose 20% in North America last year and stout in general is gaining in popularity. A 20% rise is unheard of for a mature brand with a deep distribution and can be partly attributed to a sharp rise in consumption by female drinkers as well as a hugely successful rollout of Guinness 0.0, its new non-alcoholic stout.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Celtics have 36 seasons with >=50 wins in their history, most of all NBA franchises, three more than the Lakers.

Good News: For Longhairs, a California-based men’s grooming brand, bigger is better. Or, in this case, longer is better. After setting a Guinness World Record five years ago for the “most hair donated to charity in a 24-hour period” during “The Great Cut of 2019,” the company is ready to surpass that record. The organization was successful in 2019, donating over 339 pounds of hair — but now the Longhairs team is hoping to surpass that record in 2024.

WTF: Some people may go to a church or chapel to get married — but one couple, Logen Abney and Tiana Alistock said “I do” inside the men’s bathroom at a local HOP Shops location in Verona, Kentucky, on Valentine’s Day. HOP Shops are known for their out-of-the-ordinary bathrooms that include a colorful light display at the press of a button.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The U.S. Military Academy at West Point has made the decision to remove the “Duty, Honor, Country” motto from its mission statement. In a letter sent to students and supporters, Superintendent Lt. Gen. Steve Gilland said the phrase, which was first added to the mission statement in 1998, would be replaced with the words, “Army Values.” “Our responsibility to produce leaders to fight and win our nation’s wars requires us to assess ourselves regularly,” Gilland wrote in a letter to cadets and supporters on Monday. “Thus, over the past year and a half, working with leaders from across West Point and external stakeholders, we reviewed our vision, mission, and strategy to serve this purpose.”

Article I’ll skip: Doomsday preppers offer tips to thrive in future societal collapse

R.I.P. Eric Carmen (74), singer-songwriter and frontman of the power-pop band the Raspberries who went on to achieve solo success with songs such as “All By Myself” and “Hungry Eyes.”

Trivia #1 answer: What is “Tokophobia?” – The pathological fear of pregnancy and can lead to avoidance of childbirth.
Trivia #2 answer: How many golf balls have been hit into the water surrounding the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass, the site of THE PLAYERS (being played this weekend) since 2003, in THE PLAYERS tournament? – 602, 699, 723, 802, 868, 909, 973 – 802
Trivia #3: Longwood University punched their ticket to the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. What state is the university located in and what is their nickname? – The Longwood University Lancers are located in Farmville, Virginia.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Buzzards Day!

Today is also International Women’s Day. It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready.

“May we all be alive at this same time next year.” Slainte!

“Before her love, I was cruel and mean
Had a hole in the place where my heart should have been
But now I’ve changed, and I feel so strange
I come alive when she does all those things to me”

– Raspberries (Go All the Way)

Friday, March 8, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly.

Next time you’re feeling down remember, life is all about perspective. I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, is served 3 meals a day, reads two books a week yet every day he complains about how much he hates prison.

Trivia #1: What is Mickey Mouse’s middle name?
Trivia #2: Which of the following was NOT a wife of King Henry VIII? – Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard, Elizabeth Blount, Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, Catherine Parr
Trivia #3: Who was the last 18-year-old to hit a homerun in the majors? – Ken Griffey Jr., Andrew Jones, Danny Murphy, Larry Dierker, Alex Rodriguez, Robin Yount, Mike Trout, Juan Soto
Trivia #4: Of the following which two players are not in the top 10 in all-time NBA scoring average per season? – Oscar Robertson, George Gervin, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Elgin Baylor, Kevin Durant, Allen Iverson

“Somethin’ keeps him movin’, but no one seems to know, what it is that makes him go…”

On this date: March 8, 1531, Henry VIII recognized as supreme head of Church in England by the Convocation of Canterbury.
March 8, 1817, the New York Stock Exchange was founded
March 8, 1971, Joe Frazier ends Muhammad Ali’s 31-fight winning streak at Madison Square Garden, NYC; retains the heavyweight boxing title by unanimous points decision over 15 rounds in the “Fight of the Century”

Go away: Anyone who walks up to me this weekend with a beer in their hand and starts out with; “So, what did you think of the SOTU address?”

They said it: “Hi, I’m John Morgan of Morgan and Morgan… and Morgan and Morgan and Morgan… and Morgan… and Morgan and Morgan…” (OK, I think I’ve seen that commercial enough times)

Jaylen Brown has been dealing with a sacroiliac joint strain. Hey, at least he’s getting creative!

Speaking of the NFL, did you happen to catch Jason Kelce’s retirement speech? I’m mean I get it but nearly 40 minutes! Jeez!

And speaking of golf, in a “You can’t fire me, I quit” way, LIV golf is now rejecting Overall World Golf Rankings (OWGR). A few months after OWGR rejected LIV’s application for world ranking points, LIV has done an about-face and said it doesn’t want OWGR. Question, are you still watching the PGA? I am.

Good News: ZeroEyes, an artificial intelligence (AI) weapon detection software company, has partnered with Fort Smith public schools in Arkansas to prevent potential firearm threats. The human-verified AI gun detection technology integrates AI with existing security cameras to detect firearms with a core mission as a company to prevent mass and active shootings inside schools. The system asks one question. “Is there a gun in this image or not?” The process takes three to five seconds from initial detection to the alert being in the hands of ZeroEyes end users to clients.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A news reporter in the UK has contacted the police and have them investigating author J.K. Rowlings for refusing to call the reported the proper pronoun. The reporter is a biological male claiming to be a female.

You may have heard that the New England Patriots scored terribly, 29th of 32 teams, in a team player pole. I, personally, don’t put a lot of stock in the results. However, for the categories they scored lowest in – Treatment of families, locker room, training room, weight room – those sound like areas to spend money and an excuse to raise ticket prices in 2025.

Article I’ll skip: Tom and Gisele’s kids get very different treatment at mom’s house compared to dad’s.

A shoutout to Haverhill High athletics. First, the wrestling team won their first Division 1 State Championship since 1998 and finished 3rd in New England. As for the shot putters, Haverhill boys took 1st and 4th in the D1 State Championship and sophomore Maddie Goncalves took 3rd for the girls. Maddie, a junior, also broke the school record twice during the season.

R.I.P. Chris Mortenson (72) – An award-winning journalist who reported on the NFL for ESPN for more than three decades, In 2016, he received the Pro Football Writers of America’s Dick McCann Award and was honored during the Pro Football Hall of Fame’s enshrinement ceremony in August that year.

Trivia #1 answer: What is Mickey Mouse’s middle name? – Theodore
Trivia #2 answer: Which of the following was NOT a wife of King Henry VIII? – Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard, Elizabeth Blount, Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, Catherine Parr – Elizabeth Blount was not his wife but his mistress who bore the only illegitimate child Henry VIII acknowledged as his son.
Trivia #3 answer: Who was the last 18-year-old to hit a homerun in the majors? – – Ken Griffey Jr., Andrew Jones, Danny Murphy, Larry Dierker, Alex Rodriguez, Robin Yount, Mike Trout, Juan Soto – Robin Yount (1972)
Trivia #4: Of the following which two players are not in the top 10 in all-time NBA scoring average per season? – Oscar Robertson, George Gervin, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Elgin Baylor, Kevin Durant, Allen Iverson – Kobe Bryant, Oscar Robertson

“… and Morgan and Morgan…”

It’s brought to my attention that I’ve offended some of you… Please accept my apologies, I meant to offend all of you.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Peanut Cluster Day!

“Then the lights begin to flicker and the sound is getting dim
The voice begins to falter and the crowds are getting thin
But he never seems to notice, he’s just got to find another place to play”

– Bread (The Guitar Man)

Bonus tune from Herman’s Hermits, for you, Ernie.

Friday, March 1, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly. (Hmmm. It doesn’t appear that way)

I took the road less traveled… now I don’t know where the f*k I am.

Thanks for a record number of “likes” last Friday. I’m feeling the love.

Trivia #1: What is Donald Duck’s middle name?
Trivia #2: On March 1, 1909, the 1st US university school of nursing was established where? – University of Pennsylvania, University of Minnesota, Yale University, Harvard University, University of Ohio
Trivia #3: Who is Drew Burress?
Trivia #4: Who leads the Bruins in penalty minutes this season? – Brad Marchand, Charlie McAvoy, David Pastrnak, Trent Frederic, Hampus Lindholm

“Out of the way, it’s a busy day, I’ve got things on my mind”

On this date: March 1, 1896, Henri Becquerel discovered radioactivity
March 1, 1921, Spin bowler Arthur Mailey takes 5 for 119 (record 36 wickets for series) to lead Australia to a 9 wicket 5th Test win over England in Sydney; first ever, 5-0 Ashes cricket series win for Australia (Huh?!)
March 1, 1961, US President JFK establishes the Peace Corps.
March 1, 1973, Harvest (UK) and Capitol Records (US) release Pink Floyd’s 8th studio album “Dark Side of the Moon”; it stays on Billboard Top 200 Album charts for the next 14 years, selling over 50 million copies worldwide.

Go away: Caitlyn Clark. Iowa’s all-world women’s basketball star who just shattered the all-time scoring record. Good for you, now please go away.

You can bet on anything: How about betting odds on NFL combine records to be broken? The odds of the bench press record are over 49.5 reps, over (+830), under (-2200).

Women rejoice! We’ve all heard the widespread recommendation of hitting 10,000 steps per day for optimal health, but some groups — such as women over age 60 — may not need that many. According to a new study published in JAMA Cardiology, women between the ages of 63 and 99 only needed an average of 3,600 steps per day to reduce their heart risk failure by 26%.

People often ask me; “Ed, how is Warren Buffet these days?”, showing their deep concern for the investing legend. Well, you can all relax as the Buffett-led Berkshire Hathaway inched closer to $1 trillion in market value.

The Bruins won a game in regulation last night!

They said it: “That brought me a lot of shame. It doesn’t matter who I talked to. It doesn’t matter who told me anything. It’s my rear end on the line when I say something, when I confirm a story. And I was wrong. And that is something that will haunt me, really. It bothers me, literally bothers me to this day.” – Peter King, American sportswriter wrote for ESPN from 1989-2018. King, who was working at Sports Illustrated at the time, said he went so far as to write a resignation letter in the aftermath of the controversy surrounding the 2015 Patriots’ Deflategate scandal. He reported “11-12” footballs where underinflated when in fact there was only one. King announced his retirement earlier this week.

Jean-Philippe Lartigue, 65, of Bethseda, Maryland, was fishing with a long, 12-foot crappie-style rod, spinning reel, eight-pound test monofilament line, a small split-shot weight and a No. 8 hook baited with a natural worm bait when he hooked a rainbow trout weighing 17.44 pounds and measured 32 inches. The fish bested the previous record by 3 pounds.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Tom Brady ran a faster 40-yard dash just the other day faster than his time at the NFL combine 20 years ago.

Say what? Madison Bumgarner had more grand slams than Prince Fielder, who had more inside-the-park homeruns than Ricky Henderson, who had fewer steals of home than Babe Ruth, who had as many shutouts as Pedro Martinez.

I find the reality show, “Bar Rescue” to be annoying, especially I guess, because I find its host, John Taffer, annoying.

Stop complaining: For a third straight day, firefighters are battling several wildfires in Texas. The largest, the Smokehouse Creek Fire, has merged with another fire, burning homes and forcing residents to evacuate. The fast-moving blaze, fueled by gusty winds and dry, unseasonably warm conditions, slowed somewhat on Thursday as temperatures dipped but has scorched at least 1.1 million acres with just 3% containment, making it the largest wildfire in Texas history and the second-largest wildfire in US History.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Tickets to the Willy’s Chocolate Experience in Glasgow, Scotland, were marketed based on Artificial Intelligence (AI) images that sold parents on a magical experience, but when they showed up, it was anything but. Parents called the police on Saturday because they felt scammed by the “absolute shambles of an event.” The AI-generated images included giant candy displays and colorful lights, but children were instead greeted by a virtually empty warehouse with a printed AI background, a disappointing bouncy castle and hardly any candy. 

Article I’ll skip: Dwayne Johnson, Emily Blunt respond to Rebecca Ferguson’s claim about “idiot” co-star.

Good news: USA Rugby, Major League Rugby (MLR) and World Rugby are pleased to officially announce a strategic partnership to launch a new MLR expansion club in Charlotte, North Carolina, named Anthem Rugby Carolina (RC). The new club will immediately join the 2024 season, with American Legion Memorial Stadium serving as its match day home. This ground-breaking partnership between the governing bodies for global and American rugby, as well as North America’s premier professional rugby league, represents a significant investment and collaboration in the growth and development of the game in the United States as future hosts of the men’s and women’s Rugby World Cups in 2031 and 2033 respectively. 

R.I.P. Stacy Wakefield (53) – Of cancer, just five months after her husband Tim (57), former Red Sox pitcher, died as a result of a brain tumor. Stacy leaves behind two kids, Trevor and Brianna.

Trivia #1 answer: What is Donald Duck’s middle name? – Fauntleroy
Trivia #2 answer: On March 1, 1909, the 1st US university school of nursing was established where? – University of Pennsylvania, University of Minnesota, Yale University, Harvard University, University of Ohio – The University of Minnesota
Trivia #3 answer: Who is Drew Burress? – The Georgia Tech freshman rated the No. 1 outfielder and No. 2 overall baseball prospect in the state of Georgia, swung the bat four times in the Yellow Jackets 10-0 win over Georgia State. Those four swings produced four homeruns, a school record.
Trivia #4 answer: Who leads the Bruins in penalty minutes this season? – Brad Marchand, Charlie McAvoy, David Pastrnak, Trent Frederic, Hampus Lindholm – Charlie McAvoy (71), Marchand is second with 62.

The biggest step in a relationship isn’t the first kiss… it’s the first fart.

Few people say “Thank you” these days, especially the young. Watch and listen. It’s really a shame and I blame parents, or worse, broken families. No respect.

It’s March 1st !!! Flowers and grass will begin to grow, waters will begin to warm, baseballs will fly and life, at least here in the northeast, will be a little more beautiful. It’s madness I tell you! Come on to downtown Haverhill this afternoon and celebrate. I’ll be happy to serve you.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Horse Protection Day!

“Breathe, breathe in the air
Don’t be afraid to care
Leave, but don’t leave me
Look around
Choose your own ground”

Pink Floyd (Breathe)

Bonus – Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young and Tom Jones CSN (Long Time Gone) – Talk about a group of musicians getting into a performance! Awesome!