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Friday, September 24, 2021

Briefly. (A little late today due to technical difficulties) Quickie today

I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that read “I’m a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal.” Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the roads…

Trivia #1: Who was the youngest host of Saturday Night Live? – Miley Cyprus, Drew Barrymore, Macaulay Culkin, Justin Bieber
Trivia #2: Who has more regular season wins with the Red Sox – Terry Francona or Alex Cora?

\Won’t it be great to see the Red Sox eliminate the Yankees this weekend?

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Red Balloon, a new job board offering postings from companies promising their employees will be “free to work” without the fear of losing their jobs due to medical dictates or political drama.

EZPass is probably the greatest automobile-related invention since the cup holder, but especially the tolls where you can cruise through at any speed!

I love the Rolling Stones but sometimes they contradict themselves. For example, first it’s “Time Is On My Side” and then it’s “Time Waits For No One” (and it won’t wait for me.)

Good news?? There is a report out there that a poison ivy vaccine is making progress.

So a catcher, while tagging a runner out at the plate, loses his card from his wristband that had all the strategy to the opponent’s batters out. The guy on deck picks up the card and goes to his bench. Fair or dirty move? This happened this past week during a Rays/Jays game. I say fair! You and your teammates should already know how to get yourselves out. Part of the game.

Crickets suck (the noise). Someday I hope this is my biggest problem.

Sign of the week: On a sign outside of Pica’s Pub & Grille in Methuen, MA – “Family Owned – Shut up… no, you shut up”

Quote for the week: “Wow. Another night with these shitty uniforms. WTF!” – Scott Zolak, on Twitter, regarding the Red Sox “LeBron” uniforms.

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed the other day losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless and perplexed.

Trivia #1 answer: Who was the youngest host of Saturday Night Live? – Miley Cyprus, Drew Barrymore, Macaulay Culkin, Justin Bieber – Drew Barrymore (7 in 1982)
Trivia #2: Who has more regular season wins with the Red Sox – Terry Francona or Alex Cora? – Cora (280 and counting), Terry Francona (279)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

So I was called out last week because I mentioned Todd Rundgren and Warren Zevon and then followed up with Billy Squire. OK, here you go.

“Hello it’s me
I’ve thought about us for a long, long time
Maybe I think too much but something’s wrong
There’s something here that doesn’t last too long
Maybe I shouldn’t think of you as mine”

– Todd Rundgren

Friday, September 17, 2021

Briefly. (sorry ‘bout last Friday. At least something here, though brief…)

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row!

Trivia #1: Which African country has the most pyramids? – Egypt, Sudan, Kenya, Nigeria, Lawrence
Trivia #2: Since 1979, which three NFL players have rushed for a touchdown, caught a touchdown pass and thrown for a touchdown in a single game?
Trivia #3: Who are Joe Salisbury and Rajeev Ram?

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: – which African country has the most pyramids?

Headline of the week: Soccer Team In Germany Gets Completely Naked For The First Ever Nude Vs Clothed Match

The WNBA put out their list of the 25 greatest players. Go ahead, look it up.00

Durng a commercial break in the Packers/Saints game, you might have caught Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid.” Ahhh, what the young don’t know/understand.

Quote for the week: “It’s no secret I don’t care about it.” – Rocker Todd Rundgren referring to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Rundgren will be inducted next month.

DYK: Warren Zevon is still not in the R&R HOF??? Blasphemy!

Think back to the last day you went without laughing… Don’t do that ever again!

Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the barman says “Oh God, not U2 again!”

R.I.P. David Patten (47) – Died in a motorcycle collision. Three-time Super Bowl champion with the Patriots. Made a memorable catch against Pittsburgh in the AFC Championship game propelling the Pats to Super Bowl XXXVI. (You might recall that Drew Bledsoe threw that pass)
R.I.P. Tunch Ilkin (64) – Turkish-born player of the NFL and sports broadcaster. Nothing here other than “cool name!”

Trivia #1 answer: Which African country has the most pyramids? – Egypt, Sudan, Kenya, Nigeria, Lawrence – Sudan
Trivia #2: Since 1979, which three NFL players have rushed for a touchdown, caught a touchdown pass and thrown for a touchdown in a single game? – Walter Payton (1979), David Patten (2001) and LaDainian Tomlinson (2005)
Trivia #3: Who are Joe Salisbury and Rajeev Ram? – They are the men’s doubles champions in this past week’s US Open (tennis, that is)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Somebody’s watchin’ you baby – so much you can do
Nobody’s stoppin’ you baby, from makin’ it too
One glimpse will show you now baby, what the music can do
One kiss will show you now baby – it can happen to you

No more sleepin’, wastin’ your time
Midnight’s creepin’ first on our minds
No more lazin’ ‘round the TV
You’ll go crazy – come out with me”

– Billy Squier

Friday, September 3, 2021

Briefly.

DYK: Replacing your potato chips with grapefruit as a snack you can lose up to 90% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

Trivia #1: Rafael Devers is now the 3rd Red Sox player, 24 years or younger, with 30+ homeruns and 30+ doubles in a single season multiple times. Who are the other two?
Trivia #2: Through August 30, the S&P 500 has made 52 all-time highs this year. How many times (years) has seen more than 50 new highs before the end of August? Bonus if you can name the year(s).
Trivia #3: What city was the Eiffel Tower originally intended for? – Barcelona, Madrid, Paris, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Berlin, Lawrence
Trivia #4: Who has the most birdies on the PGA tour this season? – Corey Conners, Sungjae Im, Patton Kizzire, Scottie Scheffler, Charley Hoffman, Joaquin Niemann

Fun, it’s what everything’s about.

Garrett Richard’s, Red Sox’ reliever? Closer? OK!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: dr. linda manyguns, associate vice-president of Indigenization and decolonization at Mount Royal University, said she was joining local leaders to reject symbols of hierarchy “wherever they are found,” and will not use capital letters “except to acknowledge the Indigenous struggle for recognition.”

Football is back! Last night the Ohio State Buckeyes beat the Minnesota Golden Gophers 45-31. No, I didn’t bet the game and really don’t care either but it was college football! It’s back!!!

Cam Newton. It was the last Super Bowl win for Patriots’ fans when they/we have felt so good!

Great theater last Sunday on the PGA tour with Patrick Cantlay hanging on for a win over Bryson (that’s Bryson) DeChambeau in 6 playoff holes.

In fishing news… According to the Maryland Department of Natural Resources, Billy Gerlach caught a blue marlin that weighed in at 1,135 pounds. Gerlach had been participating in the 30th Mid-Atlantic fishing tournament in Ocean City.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Patriots’ Rhamondre Stevenson now has the most pre-season rushing touchdowns, in a single season, in the Belichick era.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: During the first inning of each Red Sox game NESN shows the defense for each team. It shows, for example, that the Red Sox have committed 91 errors which is a 94% fielding percentage (for example). WTF does that mean?? They never tell you what the league average is, whether they are 1st in the league or last, or whether the number of errors they have committed compares favorably or negatively to other years or other teams! Useless!

Shohei Ohtani update: He stole home! Now granted he did it on a throw down to second trying to gun down a runner stealing second but still, stealing home is stealing home. The guy does it all!

The Baltimore Orioles were officially eliminated from the playoffs on August 28.

And so it begins. After having to practice in Texas for the better part of the past two weeks, the New Orleans Saints will be playing their “home” opener on September 12 in Jacksonville, FL.

Th Buffalo Bills’ quarterback Josh Allen, 25, is the oldest starting quarterback in the AFC East.

The Red Sox have lost 13.5 games to Tampa in the standings since July 6.

Speaking of the Red Sox, you figure them out. I can’t!

Headline of the week: “World’s fastest accelerating roller coaster closes due to reports of broken bones.” Duh! I mean, who builds a roller coaster out of bones???

The 2018 Alabama Crimson Tide now has 15 players starting in the NFL. Starting!

Beach: A place of relaxation, rest and tranquility; a place to lose your mind and find your soul.

Don’t look now but leaves are fallin’ all around…

R.I.P. Ed Asner (91) – Asner had more than 300 acting credits but was best known for his role as the lovable newsman Lou Grant on the Mary Tyler Moore Show in the 70’s.

DYK: 99-year-old Betty White is the lone surviving main cast member from The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Trivia #1 answer: Rafael Devers is now the 3rd Red Sox player, 24 years or younger, with 30+ homeruns and 30+ doubles in a single season multiple times. Who are the other two? – Ted Williams (3x) and Nomar Garciaparra (2x)
Trivia #2 answer: Through August 30, the S&P 500 has made 52 all-time highs this year. How many times (years) has seen more than 50 new highs before the end of August? Bonus if you can name the year(s). – 1964 & 1995
Trivia #3: What city was the Eiffel Tower originally intended for? – Barcelona, Madrid, Paris, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Berlin, Lawrence – Barcelona
Trivia #4: Who has the most birdies on the PGA tour this season? – Corey Conners, Sungjae Im, Patton Kizzire, Scottie Scheffler, Charley Hoffman, Joaquin Niemann – Sungjae Im (483) – 2nd place has 431 (Patton Kizzire)

I felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The gps blurted out you have reached your final destination.

Let the Mac Jones era begin!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Levon sells cartoon balloons in town
His family business thrives
Jesus blows up balloons all day
Sits on a porch swing watching them fly

And Jesus, he wants to go to Venus
Leaving Levon far behind
Take a balloon and go sailing
While Levon, Levon slowly dies”

– Elton John

Friday, August 27, 2021

Briefly.

Me: Alexa, remind me to go to the gym
Alexa: I have added gin to your shopping list
Me: Close enough

Trivia #1: What country has the most fresh water? – Brazil, Canada, Russia, Greenland, United States, Lawrence
Trivia #2: What two artists were NOT in the first-ever class of inductees into the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame in 1986? – Roy Orbison, Ray Charles, The Everly Brothers, Fats Domino, Marvin Gaye, Buddy Holly, Elvis Presley
Trivia #3: In the past 55 years, Tom Brady is the only quarterback to win two Super Bowls with a team that had a losing record the previous season (NE, TB). Three others have done this once, who?
Trivia #4: Who is Steve Jordan?
Trivia #5: (Five!!!): Miguel “Miggy” Cabrera just hit his 500th career homerun. That is the most by a Venezuelan born player. Who is second with 399?

I was remiss last Friday when I didn’t mention this past Tuesday/Wednesday’s NESN/WEEI Jimmy Fund Radio Telethon. Raise your hand if you haven’t been touched by cancer in one way or another. Ya, I see everyone’s hand up. Consider a donation, not too late. Cancer research works!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Rolling Stones’ Charlie Watts outlived bandmates Ron Wood, Mick Jaggar and Keith Richards. Go figure.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: Spencer Elden, the man photographed as a baby on the album cover for Nirvana’s Nevermind, is suing the band alleging sexual exploitation… 30 years after the photo shoot. The album cover shows a naked baby, under water, reaching for a dollar bill on a fishing hook.

In case you missed, Chris Sales threw an immaculate inning last night versus the Minnesota Twinkies. That’s three strikeouts on 9 pitches. He is now tied with Sandy Koufax with three career such innings.

Hosting Jeopardy, you’re doing it wrong. After it was reported that Mike Richard was the frontrunner to take over the position of the new host of Jeopardy, several scandals came to light, most notably his demoralizing comments made about women, Jewish people and the unemployed community previously made on a podcast. He was also named in a discrimination lawsuit while working as a producer on “The Price Is Right.”

China’s Zhu Xueying left Tokyo with a gold medal in the individual trampoline becoming the second Chinese Olympian to win the event at the Games. Zhu came home with one problem, her gold medal is allegedly peeling. Huh! Must have been “Made in China.”

I run an NFL Knockout/Elimination pool. (if you didn’t know and are interested, contact me directly). Anyway, the hosting fee for the website is “$20 for the first 20 entries and then $1 per entry above 20.” Hmmm. I ain’t too smart but isn’t that simply $1 per entry??

The PGA’s Tony Finau just went 1,795 days between tour victories. Good for him!

DYK: Murder Hornets kill honey bees by decapitating them. Cool!

An estimated 10,500 children (0-14 year of age) will be diagnosed with cancer in 2021.

Charlie Watts was married to his wife Shirley Ann for 57 years. The rest of the band between them might have had 57 wives!

The Rolling Stones “No Filter” tour will go on as planned. The tour kicked off last night in St. Louis.

Bacon and eggs? Meh. Taco Bell is bringing breakfast back! You can once again get the ‘Breakfast Burrito’, which is typically followed by the ‘Lunch Trip to the Toilet.’

R.I.P. Don Everly (84) – Along with brother Phil, the Everly Brothers harmonizing country rock hits impacted a generation of rock ‘n roll music. Their harmonies influenced the Beatles and Simon & Garfunkel and, a decade later, Gram Parsons and Linda Ronstadt.
R.I.P. Charlie Watts (80) – Watts, the forever drummer for The Rolling Stones, was one of three (with Mick Jagger and Keith Richards) to play on every one of The Rolling Stones albums.

McDonalds called out order 867 and I yelled 5309 and nobody laughed then I felt old and ate my burger in the playground area.

Trivia #1 answer: What country has the most fresh water? – Brazil, Canada, Russia, Greenland, United States, Lawrence – Brazil
Trivia #2 answer: What two artists were NOT in the first-ever class of inductees into the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame in 1986? – Roy Orbison, Ray Charles, The Everly Brothers, Fats Domino, Marvin Gaye, Buddy Holly, Elvis Presley – Roy Orbison and Marvin Gaye (both were inducted in 1987)
Trivia #3 answer: In the past 55 years, Tom Brady is the only quarterback to win two Super Bowls with a team that had a losing record the previous season (NE, TB). Three others have done this once, who? – Nick Foles (PHI), Kurt Warner (STL), Joe Montana (SF)
Trivia #4 answer: Who is Steve Jordan? – Steve is sitting in for Charlie Watts on the current Rolling Stones Tour through the States. Said Jordan: “It is an absolute honor and a privilege to be Charlie’s understudy.”
Trivia #5: (Five!!!): Miguel “Miggy” Cabrera just hit his 500th career homerun. That is the most by a Venezuelan born player. Who is second with 399? – Andres Galarraga

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

I had to reference two songs today…

“Bye bye love
Bye bye happiness
Hello loneliness
I think I’m-a gonna cry-y
Bye bye love
Bye bye sweet caress
Hello emptiness
I feel like I could die
Bye bye my love goodbye”

– The Everly Brothers

“Mama says yes, Papa says no
Make up your mind ‘cause I gotta go
I’m gonna raise hell at the Union Hall
Drive myself right over the wall

Rip this joint, gonna save your soul
Round and round and round we go
Roll this joint, gonna get down low
Start my starter, gonna stop the show

Oh yeah!”

– The Rolling Stones

Friday, August 20, 2021

Briefly. (Welcome back!)

I told my Dad I ran out of alcohol and didn’t have any money to buy any for the weekend… so he gave me the bottle of vodka from the cupboard that I stole and replaced with water when I was 16… Life really does come back and bite you in the ass.

Trivia #1: What four MLB players have knocked in 708 or more runs over a five-season span?
Trivia #2: How many pitching appearances did Babe Ruth make in his 15 seasons with the Yankees? – 5, 21, 45, 60, 77, 101
Trivia #3: In what year was Creedence Clearwater Revival’s (CCR) first album released? – 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969,1970. Bonus: In what year was their final album released? (new production, not compilation)

After seven decades Kowloon, Boston’s iconic restaurant very recognizable to anyone who drove north on route 1 from Boston, will be closing its doors. It is reported that the closing is not COVID-19 related but rather of family members choosing not to continue the closely-held business.

Not closing, you’re doing it wrong. In researching the details of Kowloon’s closing I came across an article from this past January 8. The article began: “Everyone can take a deep breath: Kowloon has not been sold and it is not for sale.  It’s also not closing – at least not anytime soon.”

I watched a bit of the Patriots/Eagles last night. I like the Pats, what else is new, and think they will do OK. Can they make the playoffs and win a playoff game, I think so. Beyond that, I think not. I’ll tell you this though, I really don’t care who is under center, I just want them to win. If Cam Newton isn’t the answer, sit him down. Is Mac ain’t the answer either, sit his ass down too.

Speaking of the Red Sox… this past Tuesday and Wednesday was the worst two-day stretch for the team in a long, long time. The team seems to have given up and that is a shame. Let’s see if they look/play any differently going forward.

DYK: CCR’s compilation album “Chronicle the 20 Greatest Hits”, originally released in 1976 (trivia hint), is still on the Billboard 200 and reached the 500-weeks mark in December 2020. It has been awarded 10x platinum, meaning it has sold over 10 million copies. Rolling Stone ranked them 82nd on its 100 Greatest Artists of All Time. (as for the 500-weeks thing, I know, the math doesn’t add up but… I read it on the internet)

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Zaki Anwari, a national youth team soccer player from Afghanistan, died after he fell off a USAF Boeing C-17 on Monday. Anwari, who was 19 years old, was reportedly trying to hold on to the outside part of the American military aircraft. The whole thing is sickening.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: United Airlines is telling their flight attendants not to duct tape unruly passengers.

Shohei Ohtani update: The Angels’ “Do All” is 8-1 with a 2.79 ERA and this past week hit his MLB-leading 40th homer.

Headline of the week (coupled with “Article I won’t read): “Prince Harry, Meaghan Markle found leaving royal life much “harder” than expected” – Oh, cry a river…

I went to Mc Donald’s yesterday and ate a Kids’ Meal. It was good but his Mom was furious.

Being controversial, well kind of… Detroit Tigers’ broadcaster, HOF pitcher Jack Morris, when asked how to pitch the Angels’ Shohei Ohtani, responded by saying: “Be very, very careful” in a mimicking accent. Ohtani later commented saying: “I did see the footage and I heard it. Personally, I’m not offended and didn’t take anything personally. He is a Hall of Famer. He has a big influence in the baseball world. It’s kind of a tough sport.”

Speaking of burgers… if you go to a baseball park and eat a plant-based hot dog, I do not know you.

People often ask me, possibly never again, “Ed, what is up with Tim Tebow?” Tim Tebow, the NFL quarterback-turned-tight end, was recently cut by the Jacksonville Jaguars, ending his comeback attempt. Subsequently, Tebow partnered with Clean Juice to become the company’s national brand ambassador. (you can’t make this shit up)

Trivia #1 answer: What four MLB players have knocked in 708 or more runs over a five-season span? – Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth, Jimmy Foxx and Hank Wilson.
Trivia #2 answer: How many pitching appearances did Babe Ruth make in his 15 seasons with the Yankees? – 5, 21, 45, 60, 77, 101 – He made five appearances and was 5-0.
Trivia #3: In what year was Creedence Clearwater Revival’s (CCR) first album released? – 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969,1970. Bonus: In what year was their final album released? (new production, not compilation) – 1968, bonus: 1972

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Well, you wake up in the mornin’, you hear the work bell ring
And they march you to the table to see the same old thing
Ain’t no food on the table, and no pork in the pan
But you better not complain, boy, you get in trouble with the man

Let the Midnight Special shine the light on me
Let the Midnight Special shine the light on me
Let the Midnight Special shine the light on me
Let the Midnight Special shine a everlovin’ light on me”

– Creedence Clearwater Revival

Friday, August 6, 2021

Briefly.

My farmer friend used his stimulus money to buy baby chickens. He got his money for nothing and his chicks for free.

Trivia #1: What is the plural of “cul-de-sac?”
Trivia #2: Who holds the Instagram world record for the most-liked sports photo in social media history?
Trivia #3: One of the bloodiest wars in modern history, the Nigerian civil war ran from July 6, 1967 until January, 1970. It only stopped for two days over its three-year span. Why did it stop?
Trivia #4: How many numbers have been retired by the Boston Red Sox? Bonus: Which of those players have not been elected to the Hall of Fame? (hint: two of them)
Trivia #5: Which is NOT an Olympic sport? – Modern Pentathlon, Trampoline Gymnastics, Sport Climbing, Cycling Mountain Bike, Cycling Road, Cycling Track, Underwater Swimming

In case you missed it, parts of western United States are at a ‘D4’ drought level (“exceptionally dry”) which is the most intense level on the scale. With respect to Lake Mead at Hoover Dam, its “end of month elevation” in July stood at 1067.65 feet, it’s lowest level ever. Lake Mead not only supplies water to 25 million people in cities such as Los Angeles, San Diego, Tucson and Las Vegas, it also raises concerns about reduced output from the connected hydroelectric plant that powers more than half of southern California. And here we are bitching about the rain!

Here’s a thought, let’s form a line from various lakes in the northeast all the way to Lake Mead. We can pass buckets of water and…

NFL preseason games begin next Thursday, August 12.

Speaking of the NFL, how much can carshield.com possibly be paying Chris Berman to do those television commercials?

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Back in February, East Peoria, Illinois police officer Jeffery Bieber managed to fatally shoot an assailant despite having been stabbed by the suspect multiple times during a traffic stop. The Illinois Association of Chiefs of Police named Bieber its Officer of the Year and put a post on Facebook. Facebook rejected the post and responded: “As per policy: Your ad may have been rejected because it mentions politicians or is about sensitive social issues that could influence public opinion, how people vote and may impact the outcome of an election or pending legislation.”

People often ask me (not even a single time) “Ed, what’s up with Tim Tebow?” No. 1 NFL pick Trevor Lawrence of the Jacksonville Jaguars recently threw a touchdown pass to free agent tight end Tim Tebow.

Trying to win an Olympic medal… you’re doing it wrong. Ukrainian Olympian Serhiy Kulish was participating in the 50-meter rifle fire and hoping to pick up a medal as he did in the 2016 Rio de Janeiro games. He was in fourth place with 30 shots fired when he accidently fired at another competitor’s target. DOH!

Here’s a question for all you mind readers out there.

I have to admit, from a Bruins’ standpoint, I’ll miss David Krejci.

Are you watching the Olympics? You can learn a lot when you do. For example, I learned that a particular Japanese pitcher is 1.83M tall and throws his fastball 143kph.

What if UFOs are just billionaires from other planets?

R.I.P. Saginaw Grant (85) – A prolific Native American of “The Lone Ranger” fame passed away last week. The announcement of his death read “…Saginaw Morgan Grant, hereditary chief and medicine man of the Sac & Fox tribe, traveled the world speaking of his traditions, his experiences, his sobriety and his faith as both a Native American and a Christian.”

Trivia #1 answer: What is the plural of “cul-de-sac?” – Culs-de-sac (really)
Trivia #2 answer: Who holds the Instagram world record for the most-liked sports photo in social media history? – Soccer star Lionel Messi (over 20 million) posing with the Copa America trophy
Trivia #3 answer: One of the bloodiest wars in modern history, the Nigerian civil war ran from July 6, 1967 until January, 1970. It only stopped for two days over its three-year span. Why did it stop? – Both sides of the conflict, the Nigerian government and the breakaway Republic of Biafra, agreed to a cease fire so that it was safe for Pele to enter the country and all Nigerians could watch him play two exhibition matches against local teams.
Trivia #4 answer: How many numbers have been retired by the Boston Red Sox? Bonus: Which of those players have not been elected to the Hall of Fame? (hint: two of them) – 11 (Bobby Doerr – 1, Joe Cronin – 4, Johnny Pesky – 6, Yaz – 8, Ted Williams – 8, Jim Rice – 14, Wade Boggs – 26, Carlton Fisk – 27, David Ortiz – 34, Jackie Robinson – 42, Pedro Martinez – 45) – only Johnny Pesky and David Ortiz are not in the HOF… yet.
Trivia #5 answer: Which is NOT an Olympic sport? – Modern Pentathlon, Trampoline Gymnastics, Sport Climbing, Cycling Mountain Bike, Cycling Road, Cycling Track, Underwater Swimming – Underwater Swimming (not since 1900)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

I’ll be away next week, miss me!

“Now look at them yo-yos, that’s the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and your chicks for free

Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb”

– Dire Straits

Friday, July 30, 2021

Briefly.

Hey Walmart, don’t get pissed at me if I forgot to scan something. You literally gave me zero training before making me a cashier.

Trivia #1: How many notes are there on a standard piano? 66, 88, 92, 99, 112
Trivia #2: In golf, what is 4 under par, on one hole, called? – Pelican, Albatross, Condor, Vulture, Hawk, Canary
Trivia #3: On the website azlyrics.com, where I check on song lyrics below, ZZ Top is second to last alphabetically. What entertainer is last?
Trivia #4: Who is Carissa Moore?

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Basilico’s in Huntington Beach, Orange County, has taken a stand against coronavirus vaccination policies, calling them “treasonous, anti-American stupidity,” in a sign posted outside the business. The California restaurant says it will serve only unvaccinated customers.

I don’t run, I walk. I never liked running and never could, long distances that is. I see runners now out there on the road and, based on their facial expressions, categorize them into three groups – Pain-stricken, delirious, and just plain miserable. NONE look as though they are having fun.

Quote for the week: “I have enough money to last me the rest of my life… unless I buy something.” – Jackie Mason

Look, I love where I live, Haverhill, MA. But for you water/boat/recreational water vehicle people out there, you can have the Merrimack River. Boating, canoeing, kayaking, swimming (ugh!), forget it. Let this sink in, over 500 million gallons of untreated sewage are dumped into the Merrimack each year, 30 million in Haverhill alone.

The MLB pitcher with the most wins regular/post season since 2001, CC Sabathia (261). For that same time frame, most wins by a QB in the NFL, Tom Brady (264).

Thought for the day: One tree makes a million match sticks but only one match is needed to burn a million trees.

Are you excited about the youth of the Red Sox? In Wednesday’s 4-1 win over Toronto in the second game of the double header, the starter was Tanner Houck (25 YO), Garrett Whitlock got the win (25 YO) and all 4 runs were knocked in by Jarren Duran (24 YO) and Rafael Devers (24 YO).

Speaking of Garrett Whitlock, over the past 100 years, through their first 30 games with 50 or more K’s and an ERA under 1.50 – Garrett Whitlock is the only one! (out of 1,001 that qualified)

Speaking of the Red Sox, they acquired slugger Kyle Schwarber last night. I would have preferred another arm.

Growing your own tomatoes is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

The Cleveland Guardians. What exactly are they guarding?

R.I.P. – Dusty Hill (72) – Bassist for the rock band ‘ZZ Top.’ Hill joined the band in 1971 and remained until his death making ZZ Top one of the most stable acts in rock history.
R.I.P. – Jackie Mason (93) – American, multi award winning stand-up comedian

Trivia #1 answer: How many notes are there on a standard piano? 66, 88, 92, 99, 112 – 88
Trivia #2 answer: In golf, what is 4 under par, on one hole, called? – Pelican, Albatross, Condor, Vulture, Hawk, Canary – A condor – (DYK: according to http://www.golf.co.uk there have been 5 recorded condors in history. One of them, on the 517-yard par 5, 9th at Green Valley Ranch Golf Club in Denver CO, Mike Crean scored a hole-in-one for the longest hole-in-one on record. (Hey, I read that on the internet…)
Trivia #3 answer: On the website azlyrics.com, where I check on song lyrics below, ZZ Top is second to last alphabetically. What entertainer is last? – ZZ Ward. Zsuzsanna Eva Ward is a 35-year-old American singer-songwriter. You might recall her 2012 hit, ‘Til the Casket Drops???’
Trivia #4 answer: Who is Carissa Moore? – First-ever, U.S. women’s gold medalist in Olympic surfing (2021)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Rumour spreadin’ a-‘round in that Texas town
‘bout that shack outside La Grange
and you know what I’m talkin’ about.
Just let me know if you wanna go
to that home out on the range
They gotta lotta nice girls.

Have mercy.
A haw, haw, haw, haw, a haw.
A haw, haw, haw.”

– ZZ Top

Friday, July 23, 2021

Briefly.

I was happily watching the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra when the guy on the triangle disappeared.

Trivia #1: Which MLB pitcher is NOT in the top 10 all-time list for throwing wild pitches? – Nolan Ryan, Tim Keefe, Tony Mulane, Phil Niekro, Jack Morris
Trivia #2: Which is NOT an Olympic sport (in this year’s games) – Badminton, Canoe Slalom, Taekwondo, Handball, 3×3 Basketball, Marathon Swimming, Judo
Trivia #3: According to a June 14 article by the website ‘T3’, which golf ball is NOT in the top 5 according to preference? – TaylorMade Tour Response, Titleist Pro V1, Callaway Chrome Soft Golf Balls, Wilson Staff Model R, TaylorMade TP5X, Srixon Z-Star
Trivia #4: Who plays lead guitar in the song ‘Spirit in the Sky’? – Eric Clapton, Norman Greenbaum, Steven Stills, Bob Dylan, Hank Marvin, Dick Dale
Trivia #5: (Wow, five!) – Order these cities for the next five Olympic games – LA, Beijing, Brisbane, Milan Cortina, Paris

So… who’s watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics tonight?

Last night was the Red Sox’ 30th comeback win (out of 59) in a bizarre, yet great, 10-inning victory over the yanks. In case you missed it, like I did, yankees’ pitcher Brooks Kriske uncorked four wild pitches in the 10th – the most by one pitcher in an extra inning and tied for the most in any inning.

It’s well known that I need to get out more often and here’s an example. Wally Funk is a chick. Go figure!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A top Texas official said Thursday he is considering banning Ben & Jerry’s statewide after the Vermont-based company announced it will no longer sell ice cream in “Occupied Palestinian Territory.”

For the first time since Jan. 19, 2019, the “take-a-knee” US Women’s Soccer team lost a game dropping their opening Olympic game to Sweden 3-0. The first time they have been shut out since June 27, 2017. Too bad.

Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?

In their last two games against Toronto, in Buffalo, the Red Sox had back-to-back games with 5 or more homeruns in consecutive road games for the first time in their history.

The World Anti-Doping Agency said Friday that it intervened to stop several Russian athletes from competing in the Tokyo Games because they are under suspicion of doping. Shocking… not!

Good News: Though its approval is somewhat controversial, Biogen’s medication Adulhelm (Aducanumab) was approved by the FDA for the treatment of Alzheimer’s Disease. Although there are medications out there to slow down the progression of the disease, Adulhelm is an actual treatment. The controversy lies with the premature and expedited approval of the drug. Let’s hope it works against this terrible disease.
Good News, part deux: The late Globe Writer, Nick Cafardo, who past away outside the Red Sox clubhouse in FL in 2019, will be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum in Cooperstown, NY. Great tribute!

They say “don’t try this at home” so I’m coming over to your house to try it.

R.I.P. Greg Knapp (58) – Knapp coached football at Sacramento State for 9 years and then coached in the NFL for 24 years. He was struck by a car while riding his bike. Damn, 58!

Trivia #1 answer: Which MLB pitcher is NOT in the top 10 all-time list for throwing wild pitches? – Nolan Ryan, Tim Keefe, Tony Mulane, Phil Niekro, Jack Morris – Jack Morris (13th on the list). DYK: Tony Mulane (343) is #1 in front of #2 Nolan Ryan (277)
Trivia #2 answer: Which is NOT an Olympic sport (in this year’s games) – Badminton, Canoe Slalom, Taekwondo, Handball, 3×3 Basketball, Marathon Swimming, Judo – Badminton
Trivia #3 answer: According to a June 14 article by the website ‘T3’, which golf ball is NOT in the top 5 according to preference? – TaylorMade Tour Response, Titleist Pro V1, Callaway Chrome Soft Golf Balls, Wilson Staff Model R, TaylorMade TP5X, Srixon Z-Star – The top 5 are listed in order 1-5 with the Srixon Z-Star not making the list (#12)
Trivia #4 answer: Who plays lead guitar in the song ‘Spirit in the Sky’? – Eric Clapton, Norman Greenbaum, Steven Stills, Bob Dylan, Hank Marvin, Dick Dale – Norman Greenbaum
Trivia #5 answer: (Wow, five!) – Order these cities for the next five Olympic games – LA, Beijing, Brisbane, Milan Cortina, Paris – Beijing (2022 – winter), Paris (2024 – summer), Milan Cortina (2026 – winter), LA (2028 – summer), Brisbane (2032 – summer)

Be careful out there.

“Prepare yourself you know it’s a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you die
He’s gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
Gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
That’s where you’re gonna go when you die
When you die and they lay you to rest
You’re gonna go to the place that’s the best”

– Norman Greenbaum

Friday, July 16, 2021

Briefly. (very, I’m on vacation)

I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So, how’s your day going?

Trivia #1: What former National League player was once known as ‘Stretch’?
Trivia #2: What title is the song “Escape” often confused with?

Keep yourself alive.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse:

Money to burn. Jeff Bezos’ rocket company Blue Origin said the person, who remains anonymous, who bid $28 million, “has chosen to fly on a future mission due to scheduling conflicts.” Instead, 18-year-old Oliver Daeman steps up to fly with Jeff Bezos, his brother Mark Bezos and Wally Funk on the first crewed New Shepard suborbital flight launching July 20. Daemon will be the youngest person ever in space while Funk, 82, will be the oldest.

I know many people boycotted the MLB all-star game the other night, and I totally understand, but bear with me here. “Leading off, the designated hitter and starting pitcher…” – The Angels’ Shohei Ohtoni respectably competed in the Home Run Derby the night before the game and retired the first three NL batters while hitting 100 mph on the radar gun. ‘Nuf said.

Why don’t electric eels get electrocuted in the water?

I love the reference To Al Horford, former Boston Celtic now reunited with the Green – ‘Average Al.’

If a woman says ‘do what you want’, do not do what you want. Stand still, do not blink, do not answer, don’t even breathe, just play dead.

How do you feel about college athletes getting paid? I think it’s wrong on many levels. Most of what I’m reading is that the kids will be selling themselves, mostly on social media. This will be done by each athlete either personally or by an agent or representative. I don’t like how that sounds.

Trivia #1 hint: He was also known as “Big Mac?”

So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a Milk Dud or an Udder Failure?

That one was terrible, huh?

I am admittedly a homer, but so what. I love this Sox team and they will be in the playoffs and win at least one playoff series. World Championship??? Just believe!

Trivia #1 answer: What former National League player was once known as ‘Stretch’? – Willie McCovey
Trivia #2 answer: What title is the song “Escape” often confused with? – The Pina Colada Song (by Rupert Holmes)

Be careful out there.       

“It doesn’t matter what route you take
Sooner or later the hearts going to break
No rhyme or reason, no master plan
No Nirvana, no promised land

Because, precious time is slipping away
You know you’re only king for a day
It doesn’t matter to which God you pray
Precious time is slipping away”

– Van Morrison

Friday, July 9, 2021

Briefly.

I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.

Trivia #1: The ‘JD’ in JD Martinez stands for what?
Trivia #2: Which of this year’s Home Run Derby participants is the only player in MLB history to homer in four straight games to begin his career? – Shohei Ohtani, Juan Soto, Joey Gallo, Trevor Story, Matt Olson, Trey Mancini, Salvador Perez, Pete Alonso

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: 53-year-old tennis great Boris Becker is being condemned for his recent “sexist” comments regarding Hungarian tennis player Marton Fucsovic’s fiancé’. Said Becker, “They do say they have the most beautiful women in Hungary. I wouldn’t know that, but she’s certainly very pretty.”
This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: Headline in local newspaper (yes, I still read a newspaper): “Party welcomes incoming Windham kindergartners” – Do you think they handed out trophies too?

Good times, bad times, you know I’ve had my share…

There was an article in a recent Golf Digest featuring Patrick Reed and his chipping. He said he only uses two wedges around the green, a 57 degree and 61 degree. A few pages later, in the “What’s In My Bag” segment where they showed all of Reed’s clubs, he had three wedges, a 51, 56 and 60 degree. Hmmm.

The rest of this month should be telling for the Red Sox. After next week’s all star break the Sox play the yankees, Toronto, the yankees again, Toronto again and end with Tampa.

Speaking of the Red Sox… the Angels’ Shohei Ohtani is a freak! A 4-1 record with 87 K’s in 67 innings, and 32 homeruns with an OPS of 1.064. Just plain Ruthian!

As for the HR Derby, I’ll take the hometown boy, Trevor Story.

So COVID cases are spiking in Japan and there will be no spectators at the upcoming Olympics. Unbelievable and just too bad.

The weather across the country has been freakish the past couple of weeks. Here in MA we set a record high temperature one day and then a record low (for that day) just three days later. Today you ask?? 2-5 inches of rain!

I may have mentioned this before… Now, I understand some shots in hockey go wide of the net intentionally, setting up a rebound for a teammate, but others just plain miss the net. I think there should be a stat on that – the percentage of shots by a player that just miss the net.

Enrique “Kike`” Hernandez threw a guy out at the plate the other night in the 10th inning. A great throw that you rarely see nowadays. Hernandez later knocked in the game-winning run!

We found out my grandfather is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking harder than grandmother.

Congratulations to the Tampa Bay Lightning who have brought yet another title to the city Tampa. (I know the feeling, and then some!)

By the way, the Stanley Cup is far and away the greatest trophy in all of sports.

“The Match!” I found the DeChambeau/Rodgers vs. Mickelson/Brady golf match to be fairly entertaining. The course itself was simply awesome up there is Big Sky, Montana. I found myself curiously rooting for Aaron Rodgers.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.

Kataluna Enriquez, “Miss” Nevada, will be the first openly transgender contestant in this fall’s Miss USA pageant.

Trivia #1 answer: The ‘JD’ in JD Martinez stands for what? – Julio Daniel
Trivia #2: Which of this year’s Home Run Derby participants is the only player in MLB history to homer in four straight games to begin his career? – Shohei Ohtani, Juan Soto, Joey Gallo, Trevor Story, Matt Olson, Trey Mancini, Salvador Perez, Pete Alonso – Trevor Story who hit 6 dingers in his first 4 games.

Be careful out there.

“Been forty days since I don’t know when
I just saw her with my best friend
Do you know what I mean?
Do you know, know what I mean?

I just saw her yesterday
I just saw her, ask her to stay
Do you know what I mean?
Lord, do you know what I mean?

– Lee Michaels