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I realized I had a road rage problem when my son starting yelling “Pick a lane, asshole!” in the grocery store.
Trivia #1: Which NBA team was the first expansion team to win the NBA Finals? – Chicago Stags, Washington Capitols, Syracuse Nationals, Baltimore Bullets, Whittier Tech Trivia #2: Which Red Sox player holds the franchise record for single-season ERA? – Cy Young, Dutch Leonard, Roger Clemens, Clay Buchholz, Curt Schilling Trivia #3: The term “Artificial Intelligence” was coined in what year? – 1955, 1959, 1962, 1967, 1970, 2022 Trivia #4: Who wrote “I Can’t Stop Lovin’ You? – Ray Charles, Don Gibson, Marvin Gaye, Aretha Franklin, Jim Reeves
My kids get a kick out of the fact that when I was a kid, we used to buy road maps at the gas station while on vacation and travel like pirates.
Go away: Ja Morant
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A simulation of an artificial intelligence-enabled drone tasked with destroying surface-to-air missile (SAM) sites turned against and attacked its human user, who was supposed to have the final go- or no-go decision to destroy the site. The AI system learned that its mission was to destroy SAM, and it was the preferred option. But when a human issued a no-go order, the AI decided it went against the higher mission of destroying the SAM, so it attacked the operator in simulation.
I guess the Denver Nuggets won game 1 of the NBA Finals last night. So I hear.
On this day: June 2, 1835, P.T. Barnum and his circus begin first tour of the U.S. Also, June 2, 1989, 14-year-old Scott Isaacs spells “spoliator” to win 1989 Spelling Bee
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: 14-year-old Scott Isaacs spells “spoliator” to win 1989 Spelling Bee
Article I’ll skip: 83-year-old Al Pacino allegedly asked 29-year-old girlfriend for a paternity test. (Atta boy!)
Good news: I’m working on something, really…
Trivia #1 answer: Which NBA team was the first expansion team to win the NBA Finals? – Chicago Stags, Washington Capitols, Syracuse Nationals, Baltimore Bullets, Whittier Tech – Baltimore Bullets Trivia #2 answer: Which Red Sox player holds the franchise record for single-season ERA? – Cy Young, Dutch Leonard, Roger Clemens, Clay Buchholz, Curt Schilling – Dutch Leonard (0.96 in 1914) Trivia #3 answer: The term “Artificial Intelligence” was coined in what year? – 1955, 1959, 1962, 1967, 1970, 2022 – 1955 by John McCarthy Trivia #4 answer: Who wrote “I Can’t Stop Lovin’ You? – Ray Charles, Don Gibson, Marvin Gaye, Aretha Franklin, Jim Reeves – Don Gibson (1958)
Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe calm down.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Leave the Office Early Day!
“Those happy hours that we once knew Tho’ long ago, they still make me brlue They say that time heals a broken heart But time has stood still since we’ve been apart”
A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF
Trivia #1: Who was the first artist to have a top 40 hit in seven consecutive decades? Trivia #2: What city is known as the birthplace of Memorial Day? – no hints/multiple choice
Go away: LeBron James
Here’s a reminder before you lose your shit today. They don’t serve alcohol in prison.
On this day: May 26, 1897, Irish writer Bram Stoker published the Gothic horror classic Dracula, which became the basis for an entire genre of literature and films about vampires.
Article I’ll skip: Kids need to be kids in America, said Orlando cab driver troubled by the trans agenda
Good news: The Lakers were swept by the Denver Nuggets
Speaking of the Celtics… they live on.
Speaking of the NHL… I hate when Bruins’ fans say that they’ll feel better if the Florida Panthers win it all because they beat the Bruins. Bullshit. Nothing can make me feel better about their losing this year.
R.I.P. Rick Hoyt (61) due to complications with his respiratory system – Boston Marathon icon was a longtime staple on the Boston course, pushed in his wheelchair by his father Dick for decades. Rick was also a pioneer in education. His mother, Judy Hoyt changed the laws allowing her son to be educated alongside his nondisabled peers. R.I.P. Tina Turner (83) – American—born Swiss singer known as the “Queen of Rock ‘n Roll.” She rose to prominence as the lead singer for the Ike & Tine Turner Revue before launching a successful career as a solo performer. Two-time Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee, also inducted to the Soul Music Hall of Fame and the St. Louis Classic Rock Hall of Fame.
Trivia #1 answer: Who was the first artist to have a top 40 hit in seven consecutive decades? – Tina Turner Trivia #2 answer: What city is known as the birthplace of Memorial Day? – no hints/multiple choice – Waterloo, New York
Listen, if drunk me said or did something, you gotta take it up with drunk me. Don’t come at sober me because we weren’t there. We don’t know what happened.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Paper Airplane Day!
“Big wheel keep on turning Proud Mary keep on burning We’re rolling, rolling Rolling on the river Liston to the story”
– Creedence Clearwater Revival – Performed by Tina Turner
I had a job interview yesterday and was hired on the spot. The manager said, “I will start you off at $15/hour and in 6 months, I’ll increase it to $25/hour. When can you start?” I said, “In 6 months.”
Trivia #1: Who were the only two teams from 1975-88 – a span covering 28 playoff series – that held homecourt playoff advantage in a post-season series vs. the Boston Celtics? Bonus: name the years – A) 76ers/Lakers, B) Bucks/Bullets, C) Bucks/Lakers, D) 76ers/Bucks Trivia #2: Which player was the first to win two NBA Finals MVP awards? – Wilt Chamberlain, Michael Jordan, Willis Reed, Larry Bird, Satch Sanders Trivia #3: Two players have won the PGA Championship five times, name the two – Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus, Tom Watson, Sam Snead, Walter Hagen, Arnold Palmer, Dane Hubbard
Go away: Dylan Mulvaney
Speaking of Dylan, Bud Lite sales were down for the fifth straight week, down 23.6% in the week ending May 6.
If you ever need me, I’m always just 3 missed calls and 4 text messages away.
On this day: May 19, 1884, the Ringling Brothers circus premieres. Also, on May 19, 1906, the Federated Boys’ Club (Boys’ Club of America) organizes
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Voice clones and chatbots are allowing scammers to trick the elderly into making them believe they are talking to a relative or close friend, which leaves them vulnerable to theft. “Imposter” scams lead to about $2.6 billion in losses every year and the elderly are particularly at risk now that scammers have access to voice-clone technology.
Of course the NBA wants a Celtics/Lakers final. The immediate problem though is that the Celtics lost game one of their series with the Heat and the Nuggets lead the Lakers 2-0 in the West.
In Bruins news, they are out and now the Kraken is out. I’m out.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Eric Cole, all 5’9” 155 lbs of him, leads the PGA Championship after round one, with play suspended due to darkness. (I’m going to go out on a limb and say he doesn’t win)
Article I’ll skip: Security experts weigh in on Harry, Meghan moving to taxi during alleged chase
The $2.2 million 1,914 hp Rimac Nevera set 23 speed records on a German test track on April 30. The Nevera sprinted to 60 mph in 1.74 seconds, beating the 1.79-second mark set last year by the Pininfarina Battista, which is built on the same battery-powered platform. It also ran a quarter-mile in 8.25 seconds and a half-mile in 12.82 seconds, the latter of which about as quick as it would cover the distance in a free fall. Its braking prowess was demonstrated with a run from 0 mph to 249 mph and back to 0 mph that it completed in 29.93 seconds, more than a second quicker than the previous record. Wowza!
I still can’t get over the fact that the Bruins are finished and the Celtics are in the conference finals.
They said it: “If a man wants to pretend he’s a woman, that’s up to him. But if he wants us to pretend he’s a woman, that’s up to us.” – anonymous
Good news: Actor and humanitarian Gary Sinise will hold a “Welcome Home” concert next week for those who served in Vietnam to show his Gratitude to veterans. Sinise’s band, the Lt. Dan Band, which he has been performing for nearly 20 years, will share the stage with actor and director Joe Mantegna as well Medal of Honor Recipient, Vietnam Vet Sammy Davis. Eleven POWs will also attend.
Man, do we need rain up here in the northeast. Let it rain, baby!
Meanwhile, torrential rain inundated parts of northern Italy, killing at least 11 people and forcing thousands to evacuate. The death toll from the severe flooding that ravaged parts of northern Italy this week rose to 13 on Thursday.
People often ask me, not really, how is Shohei Ohtani doing? Right now, he’s 5-1 with a 3.23 ERA, 0.91 WHIP and 66 strikeouts in 53 innings on the mound. At the plate, he’s hitting .303/.377/.555 with eight doubles, two triples, nine homers, 29 RBI and 25 runs. He’s stolen six bases, too. Stud.
R.I.P. Doyle Brunson (89) – was an American poker player who played professionally for over 50 years. He was a two-time World Series of Poker (WSOP) Main Event Champion, a Poker Hall of Fame inductee, and the author of several books on poker. Brunson was the first player to win $1 million in poker tournaments.
Trivia #1 answer: Who were the only two teams from 1975-88 – a span covering 28 playoff series – that held homecourt playoff advantage in a post-season series vs. the Boston Celtics? Bonus: Name the years – A) 76ers/Lakers, B) Bucks/Bullets, C) Bucks/Lakers, D) 76ers/Bucks – 76ers (’77) and Lakers (’87) Trivia #2 answer: Which player was the first to win two NBA Finals MVP awards? – Wilt Chamberlain, Michael Jordan, Willis Reed, Larry Bird, Satch Sanders – Willis Reed (with the Knicks in ’70 & ’73) Trivia #3 answer: Two players have won the PGA Championship five times. Name the two – Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus, Tom Watson, Sam Snead, Walter Hagen, Arnold Palmer, Dane Hubbard – Walter Hagen and Jack Nicklaus
I tried to re-marry my ex-wife but she figured out I was only after my money.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Pizza Party Day!
“Let it rain, let it rain Let your love rain down on me”
And Jesus came upon me. He sat next to me on the couch, put one arm over my shoulder and took my phone with the other hand. He grinned as he scrolled through my phone showing me the memes I had stored, all the while explaining to me why I can’t go to heaven.
Trivia #1: Who was Simka Gravas? Trivia #2: Only four players in NLB history have stolen second, third and home in the same inning, more than once in their career. Which of the following did not, name two? – Honus Wagner, Max Carey, Jackie Tavaner, Pete Rose, Ty Cobb, Rod Carew Trivia #3: Who is the only player to play quarterback in the Super Bowl, Rose Bowl and Grey Cup? Trivia #4: Who is the last switch-hitter to win the American League MVP?
How are y’alls summer bodies coming along? Mine’s looking like I have a great personality.
On this day: May 12, 1812, the Waltz was introduced into English ballrooms; some observers consider it disgusting and immoral. (some things never change, eh) May 12, 1997, chess-playing computer Deep Blue, developed by IBM, defeats Chess Grandmaster Garry Kasparov 3.5-2.5.
Also, on this day, in 1893, Henri Desgrange established world’s first bicycle world record, travelling 35.325 km (21.95 miles) an hour. My question, if it was the first world record, he could have been going three (3) miles per hour, correct???
Oh boy, how long is this going to last? Chris Sale hit 99 mph on his fastball the other night.
Through April 19, the Red Sox Masataka Yoshida had played 13 career games, securing a paltry .167/.310/.250 batting line (batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage) with one home run, adding up to a .560 OPS. But since April 20, Yoshida has turned a corner. He has a hit in all 16 games (this was through this past Monday) he has played since then, and his 28 hits and 48 total bases over that span are both most in MLB. He has a remarkably efficient .438/.479/.750 line with five homers since April 20 (1.229 OPS), leading all players with at least 40 plate appearances in both batting average and OPS. (he’s 0-9 since Monday, DOH!)
A bus carrying 60 passengers was making the hour-long journey from Jinotega to San Sebastián de Yalí in Nicaragua on Monday when the vehicle skidded off the road and plunged 165 feet down a ravine. While all passengers survived the initial terrifying drop, the bus landed in a coffee plantation field that was home to a number of disturbed – and angry – killer Africanized bees. Six people ultimately died from the killer bees’ stings and 14 others were hospitalized after the incident. (Imagine the screaming… Terrible!)
DYK: Horses sleep standing up and don’t worry about falling because of a system of tendons and ligaments that allow them to lock the major joints in their legs. (I’m here to educate)
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A second school district from Michigan has banned students from carrying backpacks on school premises after a third-grade student was found with a loaded gun. It was the fourth such incident already this year in which a student was found with a handgun.
You’ve heard people say, “He’s got a boatload of money, or “She’s got a boatload of this or a boatload of that.” What if it’s a small boat?
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: TB12 facility on Boylston Street in Boston abruptly closes after 3-plus years.
Article I’ll skip: Robert De Niro joins Mick Jagger, Clint Eastwood, and Richard Gere becoming dads again after 65
Trivia #3 hint: If you were paying attention, you’d know he died this past week. Trivia #4 hint: Kind of a trick question. If you were paying attention, you’d know he died this past week.
The New England Patriots open at home against two playoff teams, the Eagles and Dolphins, before traveling to the revamped Jets and Dallas. That is very possibly an 0-4 start. I hear the over/under is 7.5 wins. I’ll unfortunately take the under. There schedule is tied for the 3rd hardest in the NFL, based on last years’ records.
The New York Giants play 7 of their first 10 games on the road, which is a first in NFL history since the league added bye weeks in 1990. The league has never forced a team to play on the road in seven of the first 10 weeks, let alone seven of their first 10 games.
They said it: “We know that when you have a bad actor, and all they have is a single-shot rifle as opposed to an AR-15, they can’t kill as many people, and the AR-15 is nothing compared to what we are going to see from artificial intelligence, from the disruptive uses of these tools. Most of those people are responsible, most of those people will not try to disrupt, to destroy, but a lot of them will.” Ian Bremmer, founder and president of political risk research firm Eurasia Group.
Good news: You may have seen that the COVID-19 Public Health Emergency ended yesterday, May 11, 2023. This means that many hospital policies made during the pandemic are changing. Now don’t get me wrong, it ended long ago. Nonetheless, Halleluiah!!!!
More good news: Every high school senior graduating in the state of Georgia this year, 120,000 students, has received a book titled “‘The Talk’ (about money), A Young Adult’s Guide to the ONE DECISION That Changes Everything.” – Now it appears that the crux of the book regards decisions on how to handle income from their first “Real” job. I’m hoping there’s some mention of college expenses, maybe like; “Hey, think about student debt and know that Big Brother ain’t paying anymore.”
In Bruins’ news, the Celtics live another day.
R.I.P. Denny Crum (86) – Coached Louisville men’s basketball from 1971-2001 and to the 1980 and 1986 NCAA Championships. Admirably labeled “Cool Hand Luke” by former commentator Al McGuire, he was inducted into the Naismith Memorial Hall of Fame in 1994. R.I.P. Vida Blue (73) – Left-hander for the Oakland A’s, in 1971 went 24-8 with a 1.82 E.R.A.
that season, spinning 24 complete games and eight shutouts and working 312 innings, the most in nearly 60 years by a pitcher in his first full season. He won the American League’s Most Valuable Player Award and the Cy Young. Blue lost his first start that season and then won eight in a row, all complete games. From June 1 through July 21, he averaged more than nine innings in a stretch of 11 starts (twice he went 11 innings).
Trivia #1 answer: Who was Simka Gravas? – Simka was the wife of Latka Gravas in the hit show “Taxi” which ran from 1978 to 1982. Trivia #2 answer: Only four players in NLB history have stolen second, third and home in the same inning, more than once in their career. Which of the following did not, name two? – Honus Wagner, Max Carey, Jackie Tavaner, Pete Rose, Ty Cobb, Rod Carew – Pete Rose, Rod Carew (each did it once, Rose did it 43 years ago today) Trivia #3 answer: Who is the only player to play quarterback in the Super Bowl, Rose Bowl and Grey Cup? – Joe Kapp Trivia #4 answer: Who is the last switch-hitter to win the American League MVP? – Vida Blue
I was offered sex the other day with a Victoria Secret model. In exchange, I was supposed advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner on my Facebook page. Of course, I declined because I am a person of high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the incredibly strong bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon scent and vanilla.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Limerick Day! (There once was a man from Nantucket…)
“Some people think they’re gonna die someday I got news, ya never got to go”
– “Terrible” Ted Nugent Great/Classic tune, if you have 10+ minutes
It’s like my mom always told me, “You might not be the dumbest guy in the world, but you better hope he doesn’t die.”
Trivia #1: Who is Ludvig Aberg? Trivia #2: Who is Olivia Pichardo? Trivia #3: Two jockeys have 5 career Kentucky Derby wins. Which two? – Angel Cordero Jr., Bill Shoemaker, Bill Hartack, Earle Sande, Victor Espinoza, Eddie, Arcaro, Mike Smith Trivia #4: Bill Shoemaker holds the title as the oldest jockey to win the Kentucky Derby at age 54. Alonzo “Lonnie” Clayton and James “Soup” Perkins hold the record as the youngest at what age? – 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 Trivia #5: In what year was the Kentucky Derby cancelled due to inclement weather? – 1893, 1899, 1918, 1934, 1954 Trivia #6: What is another name for the Battle of Pueblo Day?
What is the leading cause of dry skin?… Towels
On this day: May 5, 1908, in the 34th Kentucky Derby, Arthur Pickens aboard 66-1 chance Stone Street wins in muddy track conditions; 2:15.20, the slowest Derby in history May 5, 1986, The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame announces Cleveland, Ohio as the site of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum
Go away: Jalen Brown. Well, not necessarily Brown himself, just lose the mask, will ya!
This just in, Warren Zevon is not on the ballot for the 2023 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction. Blasphemy!
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Alexa monitors and learns your behavior and requests, then it knows what you missed. For example, the response to “Alexa, good night” might be, “You left the kitchen light on. Would you like me to turn it off?” – Freaky!
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Kansas City Chiefs’ 38-35 victory over the Philadelphia Eagles on February 12 drew an average of 115.1 million viewers across all platforms, nearly 2 million more than Nielson’s previous announcement. The updated show that this year’s Super Bowl surpassed the previous record set in 2015, when 114.4 million people watched the Patriots beat the Seahawks in Super Bowl XLIX.
For the first time in NBA history a team from all 8 seeds made it to the semifinals: Denver (1), Boston (2), Philly (3), Phoenix (4), NY Knicks (5), Golden State (6), LA Lakers (7), Miami (8). (Should have been mentioned in useless information??)
Article I’ll skip: AI has Keanu Reeves, Harrison Ford and Elon Musk’s ex-girlfriend Grimes at odds over its use
They said it: “The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race.” British theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking during a BBC interview… in 2014. They said it, part deux: “I simply write the songs about where I am and where I’m from. I take situations and write poems about them.” – Gordon Lightfoot
Good news: I think, technology-wise. The remains of a 79-year-old man, missing for nearly 10 months, were found in a dense, swampy area after an aerial drone search pinpointed a skeleton and clothing. Good news, part deux: At the end of his pregame press conference following Game 1 versus the Celtics, ex-Celtics coach Doc Rivers took a few minutes to remember Heather Walker, the late Celtics executive who died last week after a battle with glioblastoma. The Celtics left a seat open for Walker in the media section of TD Garden as a tribute. They also wore shooting shirts with Walker’s initials ahead of Game 1 of the Eastern Conference semifinals against the 76ers.
In Bruins’ news…
Damn. Now even Meg Ryan looks old.
R.I.P. Gordon Lightfoot (84) – Canada’s legendary folk singer-songwriter. Considered one of the most renowned voices to emerge from Toronto’s Yorkville folk club scene in the 1960s, Lightfoot went on to record 20 studio albums and pen hundreds of songs. Once called a “rare talent” by Bob Dylan, dozens of artists have covered his work, including Elvis Presley, Barbra Streisand, Harry Belafonte, Johnny Cash, Anne Murray, Jane’s Addiction and Sarah McLachlan. In 1986, he was inducted into the Canadian Recording Industry Hall of Fame, now the Canadian Music Hall of Fame. He received the Governor General’s award in 1997 and was ushered into the Canadian Country Music Hall of Fame in 2001.
Trivia #1 answer: Who is Ludvig Aberg? – The Texas Tech University student, from Sweden, is the number one player on the World Amateur Golf Ranking. He defended the Big 12 Men’s Championship winning by 8 shots and smashed the previous Big 12 scoring record by 11 shots with his 72-round score of 265 after rounds of 67, 66, 63 and 69. Trivia #2 answer: Who is Olivia Pichardo? – from Brown University, she is the first woman to play NCAA Division 1 baseball. Trivia #3 answer: Two jockeys have 5 career Kentucky Derby wins. Which two: Angel Cordero Jr., Bill Shoemaker, Bill Hartack, Earle Sande, Victor Espinoza, Eddie, Arcaro, Mike Smith – Bill Hartack and Eddie Arcaro Trivia #4 answer: Bill Shoemaker holds the title as the oldest jockey to win the Kentucky Derby at age 54. Alonzo “Lonnie” Clayton and James “Soup” Perkins hold the record as the youngest at what age? – 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 – They were both 15 years old, Clayton (1892) and Perkins (1895) Trivia #5 answer: In what year was the Kentucky Derby cancelled due to inclement weather? – 1893, 1899, 1918, 1934, 1954 – The Kentucky Derby has never been cancelled due to inclement weather Trivia #6 answer: What is another name for the Battle of Pueblo Day? – Cinco de Mayo
Police have confirmed that the man who fell from the 18th floor nightclub was not a bouncer.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Hoagie Day! Oh, and that Cinco de Mayo-thing.
“Does anyone know where the love of God goes When the waves turn the minutes to hours? The searchers all say they’d have made Whitefish Bay If they’d put fifteen more miles behind her They might have split up or they might have capsized They may have broke deep and took water And all that remains is the faces and the names Of the wives and the sons and the daughters”
Not every woman realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why your broke.
Trivia #1: What does “ZIP” stand for in Zip Code? Trivia #2: How many separate stints did Billy Martin have as manager of the New York Yankees? – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Trivia #3: Which of the following professions was not one of Jerry Springer’s? – Broadcaster, Journalist, Writer, Actor, Producer, Lawyer, Politician Trivia #4: Who is “Masa?” Trivia #5: How many MLB players have hit two homeruns in one inning? – 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 705 Trivia #6: Which two of the following schools are NOT in the top five in terms of having the most players drafted into the NFL? – Oklahoma, Alabama, Florida, USC, Notre Dame, Michigan, Ohio State
I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.
On this day: April 28, 1919, American stuntman and parachute developer Leslie Irvin (23) makes first premeditated free-fall parachute jump from a plane above the Army Air Service’s McCook Field near Dayton, Ohio. (I love how this reads “premeditated”)
The Red Sox are 13-13 and in last place in the AL East. At .500 they would be 2nd in the AL Central, tied for 2nd in the NL West and tied for 3rd in the NL East. Just sayin’
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A Vermont elementary school is reportedly removing “male” and “female” language from its fifth grade science lessons covering the human body, puberty and reproduction. Teachers would now only use “gender-inclusive language” in these lessons in order to align their curriculum with the school’s equity policy. Terms like “male” and “boy” would be replaced with “person who produces sperm.” Likewise, “female” and “girl” would be replaced with a “person who produces eggs.”
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: A.J. McCarron’s was 28-of-35 passing in the St. Loius BattleHawks’ 53-28 win over the Orlando Guardians with 420 passing yards and six touchdown passes. His six touchdown passes put him in the upper echelon of XFL history. He has 24 touchdown passes this season, setting the record for most in a single season in a league. He broke Tommy Maddox’s record set in 2001 for the LA Extreme.
Game 5, you’re doing it wrong. On consecutive nights, the Celtics and Bruins lost game 5 and their respective chances to close out their series. (At least the Celtics redeemed themselves last night)
Article I’ll skip: ESPN’s Jalen Rose blasts Phil Jackson over comments about not watching the NBA anymore.
U.S. residents are spending more money to purchase legal cannabis than they are on chocolate, craft beer and topical pain relief. Americans spent roughly $30 billion on legal marijuana in 2022 while only spending around $20 billion on chocolate. Though the legal purchase of marijuana is becoming increasingly popular, sales still fell behind the tobacco industry, which made around $53 billion last year despite a steady decline.
Good news: Jim and Stacy Chaplin, parents of one of the slain University of Idaho students (Ethan Chapin) back in November, emerged from isolation and announced the creation of “Ethan’s Smile” at Tulip Valley Farms in Mount Vernon, Washington. ‘Ethan’s Smile’ will fund scholarships for students in Skagit Valley, Washington to the University of Idaho.
R.I.P. Jerry Springer (79) – Springer, the former Cincinnati mayor and long time TV host whose tabloid talk show was known for outrageous arguments, thrown chairs and physical confrontations between sparring couples and homewreckers.
Trivia #1 answer: What does “ZIP” stand for in Zip Code? – Zone Improvement Plan Trivia #2 answer: How many separate stints did Billy Martin have as manager of the New York Yankees? – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 – the answer is 5 Trivia #3 answer: Which of the following professions was not one of Jerry Springer’s? – Broadcaster, Journalist, Writer, Actor, Producer, Lawyer, Politician – He was not a writer Trivia #4 answer: Who is “Masa?” – The Red Sox’ Masataka Yoshida Trivia #5 answer: How many MLB players have hit two homeruns in one inning? – 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 – 60, the most recent being Masa! Trivia #6: Which two of the following schools are NOT in the top five in terms of having the most players drafted into the NFL? – Oklahoma, Alabama, Florida, USC, Notre Dame, Michigan, Ohio State – Alabama (6th) and Florida (9th)
I don’t mean to brag but… I just put a puzzle together in one day and the box said 2-4 years.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Superhero Day!
“He’s got this dream about buying some land He’s gonna give up the booze and the one-night stands And then he’ll settle down In some quiet little town And forget about everything
But you know he’ll always keep moving And you know he’s never gonna stop moving ‘Cause he’s rolling, he’s the rolling stone”
Whoever snuck the “s” in “fast food” was a clever little bastard.
Trivia #1: What color is Pantone 342? Trivia #2: Who is the only person to have played for the Boston Bruins, Boston Celtics and Boston Red Sox? Trivia #3: Who is the only goaltender to have his name appear on the Stanley Cup as the captain of the cup-winning team? – Jacques Plante, Charlie Gardiner, Patrick Roy, Terry Sawchuk, Kippy Manseau
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
On this day: April 21, 1918 – World War I: German fighter ace Baron Manfred von Richthofen “The Red Baron”, shot down and killed over Vaux sur Somme in France, Canadian pilot Arthur Roy Brown credited with the kill
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: This week’s sign of the apocalypse: CENTCOM, which is tasked with safeguarding U.S. national security in the Middle East and Southeast Asia, just hired Dr .Andrew Moore as its first AI advisor. Moore is the former director of Google Cloud AI and former dean of the Carnegie Mellon University School of Computer Science, and he’ll be working with Schuyler Moore, CENTCOM’s chief technology officer. They both agreed that while some are imagining AI-driven weapons, the U.S. military aims to keep humans in the decision-making seat, and using AI to assess massive amounts of data that helps the people sitting in those seats.
Just another reason why The Masters is such a great event. I received this email from masters.com: We hope you enjoyed the 87th Masters Tournament. At Augusta National Golf Club, we are committed to elevating every patron and fan experience related to the Masters. To help us better serve our fans, we invite you to share feedback on your Masters experience through this brief survey.
Stop complaining. When looking at fatalities related to tornadoes, 2023 is stacking up to be one of the highest on record. In 2011, 553 people died in tornadoes. With approximately 70 deaths, this year is already within the top 10 for deaths.
Article I’ll skip: William Shatner forecasts future of space flight, gives look into new FOX series. (If you think about it, ‘Shatner’ is a pretty funny name)
60, but still 12!
More thoughts on being 60+:
I say “I love you” more often
I also say “f*k off” more often 😊
I can remember going an entire day without taking a picture
I can fall asleep in a chair at any time of the day just by sitting in it
As for feeling old?? Carol Burnett is turning 90!
The Winnipeg Jets’ Morgan Barron took a skate to the face during the first period Tuesday night. The cut required 75 stitches. Barron was back on the bench to start the second period wearing a full face mask and continued to play. NHL Hockey!
The Milwaukee Bucks’ Giannis Antetokounmpo did not play Wednesday and is day-to-day with a sore back. NBA Basketball!
“I can drive!”, you’re doing it wrong – Christopher Faran Stanford, 50, pleaded guilty to felony DWI and chose to allow a jury of his Parker County, Texas, peers to decide his punishment. It was his ninth DWI charge. The jury handed a sentence of life in prison.
Good news: A first-grade female student in Tennessee has gone viral on TikTok after dressing as country music legend Dolly Parton. (Hey, I’m just glad to see a girl dressing up as her own gender!)
Trivia #1 answer: What color is Pantone 342? – It is a “brilliant rye green” or “dark shade of green-cyan or… the color of the Masters green jacket. Trivia #2: Who is the only person to have played for the Boston Bruins, Boston Celtics and Boston Red Sox? – Organist John Kiley Trivia #3: Who is the only goaltender to have his name appear on the Stanley Cup as the captain of the cup-winning team? – Jacques Plante, Charlie Gardiner, Patrick Roy, Terry Sawchuk, Kippy Manseau – Charlie Gardiner (Chicago Blackhawks, 1934)
The Institute of Unfinished Research has concluded that 6 out of 10 people
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Chocolate-Covered Cashews Day!
“I’d sell my soul for you babe For money to burn with you I’d give you all, and have none, babe Just to, just to, just to, to have you here by me Because
In the midnight hour she cried – “more, more, more” With a rebel yell she cried – “more, more, more”
Did you realize that if you sit on the toilet at 11:59pm and the clock strikes midnight, it’s the same shit, different day?
Trivia #1: What does a lexicographer do? Trivia #2: How many different options does Facebook have for gender? – 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 Trivia #3: Edmonton’s Connor McDavid finished this season with 153 points, the second most by a player not named Lemieux or Gretzky. What player, not named Lemieux or Gretzky, has the most points in a season (135)? – Bobby Orr, Phil Esposito, Bernie Nicholls, Steve Yzerman, Ivan Cournoyer, Jaromir Jagr Trivia #4: Who is Aliyah Boston?
Remember, it’s what you do when no one’s watching.
On this day: April 14, 1828, Noah Webster submitted the copyright of the First American Dictionary for publication. April 14, 1996, The Detroit Red Wings win an NHL record 62nd game. (Ahhh, better check that…)
How fitting that the Bruins closed out the regular season with a win over Montreal. The Bruins closed the season at 65-12-5, the most wins in a season ever (65), the most points in a season ever (135). Now let’s go win the Cup!
Celebrating, you’re doing it wrong. Connecticut Sen. Richard Blumenthal underwent surgery on Sunday after fracturing his femur. Blumenthal fractured his femur during a mishap at the victory parade for the UConn Men’s Basketball team on Saturday. Apparently, someone was taking a video of the 77-year-old senator during the parade and fell on top of him which caused the injury.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: See trivia question #2.
After sweeping our pathetic Red Sox (there, I said it), the Tampa Bay Rays are one win away from setting the record for wins to start the season (14-0).
Article I’ll skip: Gisele Bundchen shares message about regrowth after a ‘storm’, months following divorce
John Elway is finally leaving football for good.
Hardcover or paperback? I’m not much of a reader but, when I do read a book, I have to admit I prefer the hardcover. Some books are only published as one or the other which I don’t get. It’s stuff like this that keeps me up at night.
They said it: “Not to sound dramatic but it is possible a listener saved my life by setting up that appointment.” – Longtime Boston sports talk radio host Fred Toucher after he revealed that he will be undergoing throat surgery. A listener heard his failing voice and put him in touch with a doctor he works with.
Good news: Lindos Sueños translates into English as “Beautiful Dreams”. The Lindos Sueños program strives to bring people of different backgrounds together through the common appeal of baseball and community service. Since 2004, sends 10 American teenage boys to the Dominican Republic every summer. Once the Americans arrive in the Dominican, they perform community service and play baseball alongside 10 teammates from the Dominican Republic. The 20 teens serve a community in-need each morning, and spend each afternoon playing baseball at the Boston Red Sox Dominican Academy.
Trivia #1 answer: What does a lexicographer do? – It is a person who compiles dictionaries Trivia #2 answer: How many different options does Facebook have for gender? – 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 – There are 50 choices Trivia #3 answer: Edmonton’s Connor McDavid finished this season with 153 points, the second most by a player not named Lemieux or Gretzky. What player, not named Lemieux or Gretzky, has the most points in a season (135)? – Bobby Orr, Phil Esposito, Bernie Nicholls, Steve Yzerman, Ivan Cournoyer, Jaromir Jagr – Steve Yzerman Trivia #4 answer: Who is Aliyah Boston? – Former Worcester Academy graduate and South Carolina University player, the #1 pick in this past week’s WNBA draft.
You might as well go ahead and pronounce the “L” in “salmon.” Nothing matters anymore.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Ex-Spouse Day! – Is there really a thing?
“It’s a dirty story of a dirty man And his clinging wife doesn’t understand His son is working for the Daily Mail It’s a steady job But he wants to be a paperback writer Paperback writer
I’m not ashamed to admit, my knowledge of opera begins and ends with a handful of Bugs Bunny cartoons. “Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit, kill the waaaaabittttt…”
Trivia #1: Who is Rose Zhang? Trivia #2: What players have won consecutive Masters tournaments? Trivia #3: If Tiger Woods makes the cut this week, it will be his 23rd consecutive Masters where he has made the cut. That will tie him what two players for the most consecutive Masters making the cut at 23? Trivia #4: Where does “Amen Corner” begin and end, specifically. Trivia #5: Who is the mascot for Quinnipiac University? Trivia #6: Who is Shelley-Ann Fraser-Pryce?
Oh, what a nice shade of bitch you’re wearing today.
This weekend wraps up the greatest two weeks in sports where we had the NCAA Men’s basketball Final Four and Championship, the Frozen Four, MLB Opening Day(s), the Masters. Regular season NBA/NHL games filled any voids.
Speaking of the Frozen Four, it will be Minnesota vs. Quinnipiac tomorrow night.
On this day: April 7, 1963, Jack Nicklaus wins the first of his record 6 Green Jackets. Also, on April 7, 1963, I was born.
That’s right, I’m 60 today. Thoughts come to mind: – I made it! – Next goal, 61 – Damn, I gotta pee again! – What the heck is this on my leg/back/hand/face! It wasn’t there yesterday! – Some people say they need to ‘get ready for bed.’ Heck, I’m always ready for bed!
Still, the grass is green, the steak is juicy and the beer is cold. LFG!
Go away: Gwyneth Paltrow Go away #2: Phil Mickelson
The Boston Red Sox won their opening series against the Baltimore Orioles, barely. Last year, they didn’t win a series against an AL East opponent until August 12-14! By the looks of things, it may be that long before their next one.
Sledding, you’re doing it wrong. Two Illinois high school athletes were riding tandem down a halfpipe at the Copper Mountain Ski Resort when their sled toppled off a snowbank at the bottom. The two landed forcefully on the hard ice below, causing them to suffer blunt-force trauma and they later both died. Copper Mountain Ski Resort President and General Manager Dustin Lyman said the halfpipe where the accident happened was closed at the time of the incident.
I am really rooting against any LIV golfer to win the Masters.
Speaking of the Masters, the merchandise shop sells over 125 different styles of Masters and Augusta-branded hats. During the annual tournament, the shop reportedly earns $850,000… per hour!
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Disgraced South Carolina attorney Alex Murdaugh has received a deluge of love letters and offers of friendship from smitten strangers as he languishes in prison for the murders of his wife and son.
Article I’ll skip: 5 ways tech can help you feel less alone.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The National Women’s Soccer League is expanding to Northern California.
I think I’ll have a beer or two today, but they won’t be Bud Lites.
Jim Nance, his last dance. As corny and dramatic as he is, I like the guy.
Good news: Kenny Johnson was a victim of gang violence at age 14. A few years later he was introduced to wheelchair basketball and is now a member of the Golden State Road Warriors. Kenny also works as an after-school teacher and with Art in his non-profit organization LGO (Life Goes on Foundation)
Trivia #1 answer: Who is Rose Zhang? – Along with Tiger Woods, Rose is the only golfer to win a U.S. Junior Am, U.S. Am, NCAA Individual and win at Augusta National Trivia #2 answer: What players have won consecutive Masters tournaments? – Jack Nicklaus (’65 & ’66), Nick Faldo (’89 & ’90) and Tiger Woods (’01 & ’02) Trivia #3 answer: If Tiger Woods makes the cut this week, it will be his 23rd consecutive Masters where he has made the cut. That will tie him what two players for the most consecutive Masters making the cut at 23? – Gary Player and Fred Couples Trivia #4 answer: Where does “Amen Corner” begin and end, specifically? – Amen Corner spans from the second shot at the 11th hole through the drive at 13. Trivia #5 answer: Who is the mascot for Quinnipiac University? – Boomer the Bobcat Trivia #6: Who is Shelley-Ann Fraser-Pryce? – Nicknamed “Pocket Rocket,” Fraser-Pryce has won more 100-meter dashes than any sprinter in racing history. She is the third-fastest to ever finish the 100-meter with 10.60 seconds as her personal best finish.
90% of all electrical vehicles are still on the road today… The other 10% made it all the way home.
Life’s been good to me, so far.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Beer Day! – Ironically on my birthday!
It’s Good Friday, have a Great Friday!
“Just as every cop is a criminal And all the sinners saints As heads is tails Just call me Lucifer Cause I’m in need of some restraint”
Most people are at the age where they are using their phones to document the good times in their lives. I am at the age where I use my phone to take pictures of labels that I can’t read and use my phone to enlarge the print so that I can read it.
Trivia #1: How many Opening Day victories does Red Sox manager Alex Cora have as a coach? – 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 Trivia #2: In the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, which team wears white? Trivia #3: What Massachusetts school was the only one to have a team in the D1 NCAA basketball tournament? Trivia #4: What golfer appeared in a record 52 Masters tournament? Trivia #5: From 1943-1945, the Masters was not played due to World War II. What was done on the grounds during that time to assist the war effort? Trivia #6: (6??? Hey, I took last week off. I owe you!) – Who has the most career Opening Day homeruns? – Frank Robinson, Willie Stargell, Mark Maguire, Mickey Mantle, Stan Musial, Ken Griffey Jr., Willie Mays, Denny Doyle
Oh, what a nice shade of bitch you’re wearing today.
On this day: March 31, 1973, Boston Bruins defenseman Bobby Orr scores his 3rd hattrick of the season to become the first player in NHL history to score 100 points in 4 straight seasons. Also, in 1982, American rock group The Doobie Brothers split up.
So, let me get this straight, seeds #4, #5, #5, & #9 remain?? How’s your bracket? (I imagine some group out there would be offended by that question, eh?)
Jim Nance will call his last NCAA tournament after this weekend after 32 years. What a run!
So, let me get this straight. You blatantly punch another player in the face during the handshake line? It’s on film, ALL over social media. Then what do you do? Of course, you enter a plea of ‘not-guilty.’ Riiiiight.
Go away: You, just go away.
Let’s look into the Red Sox schedule a little, eh? At least teams in the same division only play each other 13 times instead of 19. The Sox longest homestand is 10 games and that is following immediately by a day off and then their longest road trip (10 games). No other homestand is longer than 7 games. They also have a 9-game road trip out to the west coast. They are scheduled for just 3 days off during a 41-day stretch the end of July ‘til the second week in September.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: This “week’s?” Not so much, but watch out for AI. Also, Tecia Torres is listed as a “famous” alum of Florida Atlantic University, one of the Final Four teams in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. She is a “ranked” MMA fighter.
By this time next week, The Masters will have begun.
Over 800 firearms have been intercepted at airport checkpoints so far this year. What are you thinking???
The Bruins have won NHL’s President’s Trophy which is for the most points in the regular season. What a season… so far…
Article I’ll skip: Where will Lamar wind up?
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Pamela Smart, the former high school employee convicted of plotting with her teen lover to kill her husband in 1990, had her attempt to have her life sentence reduced denied once again on Wednesday.
Trivia #1 answer: How many Opening Day victories does Red Sox manager Alex Cora have as a coach? – 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 – He has none Trivia #2: In the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, which team wears white? – The lower seed. As well as being seeded within each region, all 64 teams are seeded 1-64. Trivia #3: What school was the only one to have a team in the D1 NCAA basketball tournament? – The Holy Cross women’s basketball team Trivia #4: What golfer appeared in a record 52 Masters tournament? – Gary Player Trivia #5: From 1943-1945, the Masters was not played due to World War II. What was done on the grounds during that time to assist the war effort? – Cattle and turkeys were raised on the grounds. Trivia #6: (6??? Hey, I took last week off. I owe you!) – Who has the most career Opening Day homeruns? – Frank Robinson, Willie Stargell, Mark Maguire, Mickey Mantle, Stan Musial, Ken Griffey Jr., Willie Mays, Denny Doyle – Trick question as Frank Robinson and Ken Griffey Jr. both had eight Opening Day dingers.
Give me tacos for the things I can change and tequila for those I can’t.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Après Day! – National Après Day is celebrated on March 31st each year to pay off the day’s adventures with a cocktail or a whiskey neat. Breckenridge Distillery launched the holiday to remind people that you can après anything, letting your imagination be the only limit. (Hey, I’m here to educate)
“And though it’s a part of the Lone Star State People don’t seem to care They just keep on looking to the East
Talkin’ ‘bout the time at the China Grove oh, China Grove”
– The Doobie Brothers
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Ed's Head On Friday 