Friday, May 20, 2022

Briefly. (a relative term, indeed)

I don’t always carry all the groceries in one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Trivia #1: DYK: There is a PGA stat called “Smash Factor?” – What does Smash Factor measure?
Trivia #2: Who threw the most recent no-hitter for the Red Sox?
Trivia #3: In 1970, Gino Cappelletti retired from the NFL as the league’s all-time leading scorer. Where does Gino fall now on that same list today? – Answer correct if within 5
Trivia #4: What former MLB player, now commentator, owns the Loma Brewery in Los Gatos, CA?
Trivia #5: How many years go by between the time the bottom ring of the Stanley Cup is filled with names and the top ring is removed?

The United States Air Force conducted the successful launch of a hypersonic weapon off the coast of California, which flew at five times the speed of sound. Brig. Gen. Heath Collins, Program Executive Officer for Weapons, celebrated the “major accomplishment” after a B-52H Stratofortress released an AGM-183A Air-launched Rapid Response Weapon (ARRW) at Edwards Air Force Base, in California, last Saturday. Cool!

Article I’ll skip: Amber Heard faces perjury claims in Australia COVID-19 dog incident

Trivia #2 hint: It was in 2008

In shocking news… the Red Sox Nick Pivetta through a 9-inning, complete game this past Wednesday night, only the 3rd in the majors this season. Actually, when Pivetta got the first out in the 8th inning, he was the first Red Sox starter to retire a batter in the 8th inning this season!

Speaking of the Red Sox, well I was, the previous night Sox starter Nate Eovaldi through just 5 pitches in getting the Astros 1-2-3 in the 1st inning. Speaking of the number 5, he then let up 5 homeruns in the 2nd inning! DYK: One fan sitting in the monster seats caught two of those homeruns.

5 – The Sox’ Trevor Story scored 5 times last night!

When I’m tired and thinking cold, I hide in my music, forget the day…

Speaking of the Pirates, they beat the Reds last week 1-0 becoming just the sixth team since 1901 to win a game without a hit.

I ran out of gas the other day, called my insurance company and they totaled my truck!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Camillo Villegas is ranked 1st in the PGA in smash factor.

Speaking of hockey, last Saturday and Sunday there were five(!) game 7’s. That’s pretty cool. The Bruins losing their game seven (3-2), that was not cool.

As for the Celtics, well they won their game seven last Sunday in crushing style (109-81). Now, not for nothing, but the Bucks’ Kris Middleton not playing in that series was comparable to Jim Rice not playing for the Sox in the 1975 playoffs. Just sayin’.

Now on to last night – B-L-O-W-O-U-T! Editor’s note: Another reason I don’t like the pro game. Scrub time. Now I understand, and have been there, scrub is nothing but throwing it up there with the hopes of getting in the box score. Nowadays, it’s a 3-point, brick tossing contest. Ugly and useless to watch.

The NBA, puh-lease. How does a guy like Marcus Smart not play one night, “sprained foot”, and then play as if he’s 100% the next game? Hockey players, they are not.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: 51-year-old Happy the elephant has lived at the Bronx Zoo for 45 years. Advocates at the Nonhuman Rights Project are arguing that Happy is an autonomous, cognitively complex elephant worthy of the right reserved in law for “a person.” That question, whether Happy can be considered a person, was before New York’s highest court this past week.

Let’s flip that around: “Not right now, honey. Today, I’m identifying as an elephant!”

R.I.P. Gino “The Duke” Cappelletti (89) – My bad for not mentioning this last Friday. Cappelletti spent 51 years with the Patriots franchise as an all-star player, assistant coach and broadcaster. A legend in these parts.

Trivia #1 answer: DYK: There is a PGA stat called “Smash Factor?” – What does Smash Factor measure? – Ball speed divided by club speed or… the amount of energy transferred from the club head to the golf ball.
Trivia #2 answer: Who threw the most recent no-hitter for the Red Sox? – John Lester
Trivia #3 answer: In 1970, Gino Cappelletti retired from the NFL as the league’s all-time leading scorer. Where does Gino fall now on that same list today? – Correct answer if within 5 – He is currently tied for 51st with Dan Bailey
Trivia #4 answer: What former MLB player, now commentator, owns the Loma Brewery in Los Gatos, CA? –  The former “Greek God of Walks”, Kevin Youkalis
Trivia #5 answer: How many years go by between the time the bottom ring of the Stanley Cup is filled with names and the top ring is removed? – Every 13 years the top ring of the Stanley Cup (currently displaying championship teams from 1953-45 – 1964-65) is removed and retired to be displayed in the vault of the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Quote for the week: “The gratification comes in the doing, not in the results” – James Dean

From monkey to human: 10 million years. From human to monkey:  10 beers

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy Rescue Dog Day!

“When you can’t find the light
That guides you through a cloudy day
When the stars ain’t shining bright
You feel like you’ve lost your way
When the candle light of home
Burns so very far away
Well, you gotta let your soul shine
Just like my daddy used to say

He used to say soulshine
It’s better than sunshine
It’s better than moonshine
Damn sure better than rain
Hey now people, don’t mind
We all get this way sometime
Got to let your soul shine, shine till the break of day”

– The Allman Brothers Band

Friday, May 13, 2022

Briefly.

I used to sell security alarms door to door and I was really good at it. If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.

Trivia #1: Where did Bob Lanier attend college? – Rutgers, St. Bonaventure, St. John’s, Grambling, Seton Hall, St. Louis, UMass Dartmouth
Trivia #2: What’s the difference between a groundhog and a woodchuck?

Trivia #3: The NFL started playing a 16 game schedule in what year?

Personal Record (PR) – it’s such a track ‘n field thing. He PR’d in the high jump. I PR’d in the mile. She PR’d in the long jump. If a guy hits a career high in homeruns, why don’t they say he PR’d? He had 47 assists last night which was a PR for him. Please! Hey buddy, you didn’t ‘PR’, you ran your best time.

They said it: “I don’t eat green eggs and ham, but if Al Horford is cookin’ it, I’m eatin’ it! – Celtics radio colorman Cedric “Cornbread” Maxwell while Horford was going off on Monday night.

Murder, you’re doing it wrong: A South Carolina man accused of strangling his girlfriend died of a heart attack while burying her in the yard.

Article I’ll skip: First image of black hole at center of the Milky Way released by astronomers.

More on the NFL schedule next week but… week 18 sees the Patriots traveling to Buffalo. Let’s hope that there are no playoff implications for the Pats riding on that game!

Bruins/Hurricanes game 7!

Speaking of the Bruins… the Celtics are in trouble tonight in Milwaukee. They are going to need Robert Williams and everything they’ve got. Do you believe?

You’ve got to bleed for the dancer.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Christian Yelich, now tied with the most times in his career hitting for the cycle (3), has done so each time versus the Cincinnati Reds. If that isn’t useless information, look to trivia question #2.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: This is a bit of a stretch but work with me… Sonny Leon, the jockey who led Rich Strike to an improbably Kentucky Derby win as an 80-1 long shot, has been suspended for careless riding. The decision to sideline Leon stems from a late April race at an Ohio track when it was determined that the horse he was riding, One Glamorous Gal, intentionally interfered with another horse during the race.

R.I.P. Bob Lanier (73) – A Hall-of-Famer and eight-time all-star, Lanier played 14 seasons with the Detroit Pistons and Milwaukee Bucks and averaged 20.1 points and 10.1 rebounds for his career.

DYK: Bob Lanier was said to wear size 22 shoes, although that was disputed by a Converse representative, who told the Atlanta Constitution that Lanier wore size 18 ½. The ‘22’ was a Korean size.

Trivia #1 answer: Where did Bob Lanier attend college? – Rutgers, St. Bonaventure, St. John’s, Grambling, Seton Hall, St. Louis, UMass Dartmouth – Lanier led St. Bonaventure to the Final Four in 1970.
Trivia #2 answer: What’s the difference between a groundhog and a woodchuck? – There is no difference. The terms ‘woodchuck’ and ‘groundhog’ are interchangeable.

Ttrivia #3 answer: The NFL started playing a 16 game schedule in what year? – 1978

It feels good to walk into a store and buy whatever I want without looking at the prices. Shout out to Dollar Tree!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Frog Jumping Day!

Ooo oooohhhh
Ooo oooohhhh
Come on and dance, come on and dance
Let’s make some romance
You know the night is fallin’
And the music’s callin’
And we’ve got to get down to Swingtown

We’ve been workin’ so hard
We’ve been workin’ so hard
Come on baby
Come on baby let’s dance
Come on, come on, come on
Come on, come on, come on
Come on, come on, come on

– The Steve Miller Band

Friday, May 6, 2022

Briefly. (gotta run)

Animal fact #26: Most bobcats are not named Bob.

Trivia #1: In 104 career playoff starts, how many times did Tuukka Rask let up 5 or more goals? – 2, 5, 9, 11, 19, 26
Trivia #2: Who holds the Red Sox team record with 5 different games with 3 or more homeruns?
Trivia #3: Who is Lucile Randon?
Trivia #4: How did the Rolling Stones come to get their name?
Trivia #5: Dusty Baker became just the 12th MLB manager to win 2,000 games this past week. Which TWO of the following is not on that list? – Bobby Cox, Casey Stengel, Bobby Cox, Joe Torre, Jim Leyland, Bruce Bochy, Leo Durocher

I’m glad I don’t delve into politics but sometimes it’s a battle with myself.

It’s Friday and the Bruins are in trouble down two games to none to Carolina. Here’s hoping the change to Swayman in net can calm the storm. (see what I did there, storm… Hurricanes) Try to keep up.

Through the first two games of the series vs. Milwaukee, the Celtics have attempted 93 3-point shots and 71 2-point shots. Why I don’t like today’s game.

Speaking of not liking the game… yesterday the Sox’ Rich Hill was pulled after 68 pitches of 1-hit, 1-walk ball. 5 innings, no runs, 68 pitches!

Gross Red Sox stats: In innings 7-9 they have the 2nd worst ERA in the AL and have scored their fewest runs thru 26 games since 1968.

They said it: “Larry Bird isn’t walking through that door.” – Rick Pitino. It was on this date, 1997, that the Celtics hired Pitino. He followed with a 102-146 record (.411) and zero playoff appearances.

Heckling, you’re doing it wrong. A 23-year-old, carrying a replica gun with a knife inside, jumped up on stage at the Hollywood Bowl and attacked comedian Dave Chappelle.

Locally, the Knights of Northern Essex Community College beat the Community College of Rhode Island 12-1 in the opening round of the Region 21 baseball tournament. It was the 29th win in a row for the 35-2 Knights.

Article I’ll skip: Behavioral analyst confident she knows ‘aggressor’ in Heard-Depp relationship

I’ve got salad for dinner. Actually, a fruit salad. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes, fermented grapes. Wine. I’ve got wine for dinner…

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Of the current and former NFL players that Fox News Digital asked for what advice they had for incoming rookies on how they would gain respect in the locker room, Pacman Jones was one of them. Pacman Jones giving advice, really?
This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: A Maryland county council meeting was interrupted by a man wearing a “poop emoji” costume. The man also broke a stink bomb on the meeting floor.

R.I.P. Naomi Judd (76) – Over their decades-long careers as mother-daughter duo The Judds, Naomi and 57-year-old Wynonna earned 14 chart-topping songs, earned five Grammys, nine CMA Awards and seven ACM Awards. Sadly, Naomi battled mental illness for much of her life and committed suicide.

Statistics show there is one opioid death in the U.S. every 5 minutes.

Trivia #1 answer: In 104 career playoff starts, how many times did Tuukka Rask let up 5 or more goals? – 2, 5, 9, 11, 19, 26 – 2 times
Trivia #2 answer: Who holds the Red Sox team record with 5 different games with 3 or more homeruns? – Mookie Betts
Trivia #3 answer: Who is Lucile Randon? – Lucile, otherwise known as Sister Andre’, is the world’s oldest living person (118) and has been a nun for 78 years. She lives in Toulon France, enjoys chocolate and has a glass of wine every day.
Trivia #4 answer: How did the Rolling Stones come to get their name? – They are named after the Muddy Waters’ song “Like a Rolling Stone”
Trivia #5: Dusty Baker became just the 12th MLB manager to win 2,000 games this past week. Which TWO of the following is not on that list? – Bobby Cox, Casey Stengel, Bobby Cox, Joe Torre, Jim Leyland, Bruce Bochy, Leo Durocher – Casey Stengel (1,905) and Jim Leyland (1,769)

I was getting gas yesterday and noticed the person before me on pump 3 bought $10.00 worth. Where the hell was he going? To pump 4?!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there. (And to all you other muthas too!)

“I don’t want you to be no slave
I don’t want you to work all day
I don’t want you to be true
I just want to make love to you

I don’t want you to wash my clothes
I don’t want you to keep my home
I don’t want you your money too
I just want to make love to you

I just want to make love to you

– Muddy Waters

Friday, April 29, 2022

Briefly.

Not to brag, but I just went into another room and actually remembered why I went there. It was the bathroom, but still…

Trivia #1: Since 1920, what two pitchers have the record for consecutive quality starts (26), with a quality start being 6 of more innings and three or fewer runs. Hint, one was in 1967/1968, the other in 2018/2019.
Trivia #2: Which two of the following pitchers have NOT struck out a record 10 consecutive batters? – Tom Seaver, Bartolo Colon, Eric Gagne`, Aaron Nola, Randy Johnson, Corbin Burnes
Trivia #3: As of the 2021 NFL Draft, which college has produced the most drafts picks in NFL history? – Texas, Michigan, Notre Dame, Southern California, Florida State, Florida, Rutgers, UMass Lowell

Maybe it’s me but I don’t think it feels much like April 29! It feels more like February 88th!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: As of Wednesday night, the Red Sox were 4th in the league in “hard” hit balls. Useless!

They said it: “When I say I’m here with Kev, I think that it really entails us managing this franchise together alongside [owner] Joe [Tsai] and [general manager] Sean [Marks], and just our group of family members that we have in our locker room, in our organization.” Kyrie Irving, self-appointed co-owner

Article I’ll skip: “Fauci makes bold declaration about the end of the pandemic in America”
Article I’ll skip, part deux: “A look at the celebs yet to testify in the Johnny Depp trial”

Still the man! Over the past 12 months, Warren Buffet’s Berkshire shares have returned 30% vs. the S&P’s 8%.

Relief! After 40 consecutive failed power play attempts, nearly an entire month, the Bruins scored two PP goals in the third period last night in their 5-0 over the Sabres.

Wow, what a venue created in Las Vegas for the NFL Draft which kicked off last night! Big party! Tough to believe it was the event’s first time in Sin City.

Three separate $1,000 bets have been made on the Utah State Aggies to win college football’s national championship. The payout is $1M.

Yankee fans, as always, are thugs.

Speaking of the draft, I do enjoy it but… “The Pick Is In.” Well, if the pick is in, please tell us who it is rather than waiting 4-7 minutes! I did time them and sometimes they went to a commercial break after “the Pick Is In” and it was up to 7 minutes before we heard who was chosen.

When Jayson Tatum, Jaylen Brown, Marcus Smart, Rob Williams and Al Horford all play and the Celtics score ≥ 100 points Celtics are (23-0, 1.000) in their last 23 games

Bring on the Bucks!

R.I.P. Guy Lafleur (70) – The first overall pick in the 1971 draft by the Montreal Canadiens, “The Flower” won 5 Stanley Cups while scoring 50 or more goals in 6 straight seasons.

Trivia #1 answer: Since 1920, what two pitchers have the record for consecutive quality starts (26), with a quality start being 6 of more innings and three or fewer runs. Hint, one was in 1967/1968, the other in 2018/2019. – Bob Gibson and Jacob deGrom
Trivia #2: Which two of the following pitchers have NOT struck out a record 10 consecutive batters? – Tom Seaver, Bartolo Colon, Eric Gagne`, Aaron Nola, Randy Johnson, Corbin Burnes – Bartolo Colon and Randy Johnson
Trivia #3: As of the 2021 NFL Draft, which college has produced the most drafts pick sin NFL history? – Texas, Michigan, Notre Dame, Southern California, Florida State, Florida, Rutgers, UMass Lowell – Notre Dame

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy Hairball Awareness Day!

Mumbling along to a song you don’t really know… but that 15 second part you do know is coming and you’re gonna own that!

“There’s colors on the street
Red, white and blue
People shufflin’ their feet
People sleeping in their shoes
But there’s a warning sign
on the road ahead
There’s a lot of people sayin’
we’d be better off dead
Don’t feel like Satan,
but I am to them
So I try to forget,
any way I can.

Keep on rockin’ in the free world,
Keep on rockin’ in the free world
Keep on rockin’ in the free world,
Keep on rockin’ in the free world.”

– Neil Young

Friday, April 22, 2022

Briefly. (not)

I said to myself, “Self.” (and I knew it was me cause I recognized my voice and I was wearing my underwear) “Today is going to be a good day.”

Trivia #1: Red Sox great Mo Vaughn attending what college?
Trivia #2: What outfielder had the most career putouts? – Hank Aaron, Willie Mays, Tris Speaker, Ty Cobb, Barry Bonds, Rickey Henderson, Mike Greenwell

For the record, I am not wearing a mask as I write this! Happy days!

My bad for not mentioning Jackie Robinson Day last week in MLB. Tributes were carried out all over baseball as team players all wore Robinson’s #42. At Fenway Park Mo Vaughn, who was the last player to wear #42, threw out the first pitch alongside his son. Vaughn began studying Robinson in college and after retirement, gave back to the community by renovating 1,000 housing units in New York including a development that Robinson had built.

Good news: Each MLB team is auctioning off a commemorative Jackie Robinson jersey autographed by the entire team. As of this morning the highest priced jersey was the Chicago White Sox at $7,110 and the lowest jersey was the Minnesota Twinkies at $710. Bidding ends Saturday at 8:00 PM EST and net proceeds benefit the Jackie Robinson Foundation.

Hey Kevin Durant, whatever that is on your chin, it’s ugly. Try cleaning yourself up a little.

Great tribute to Jerry Remy and his family on Wednesday, both live at Fenway before the game and earlier during an hour-long tribute on NESN. He had such a long battle with cancer and during that period his legend (Remdawg) just grew across Red Sox Nation. During his time announcing with Don Orsillo, it was must-see television.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Before the Red Sox/Toronto game the other night we were informed that Nathan Eovaldi was 4-4 lifetime against Toronto. What the hell does that tell us? No ERA, no run-support numbers, no hits/walks ratio, nothing! Useless!

And speaking of useless stats, here we go again. NESN gives us each teams’ fielding percentage each game. Nothing to compare these numbers to. Not average percentages from this season or any season, just a number. It’s these little things that make the neighbors wonder why I pound my head out on the pavement.

I was talking with friends of how we all used to lick the beaters whenever our mothers were baking. Turns out that all the other kids’ mothers first turned off the blender. Hey!

Speaking of Oakland… On Wednesday night the Athletics had the lowest non-COVID attendance (2,703) in 42 years (MLB). Seating capacity is 46,847. To boot, they lost 1-0 to the lowly Orioles. And it’s not the ticket prices discouraging fans from attending. Fans can get on Treehouse Plaza for $10.

Hey Marcus Smart, great pass last Sunday!

Article I’ll skip: Ireland Baldwin Calls Amber Heard ‘Disaster of a Human Being’ During Lawsuit

BTW, I wonder if this was once an actual conversation: “Ya Ma, I have a new girlfriend. She’s beautiful and a real sweetheart. Ya, she shit on my bed the other day. Isn’t that sweet!”

Is this the best stat EVA? On Monday, just before the Marathon Monday game between the Red Sox and Minnesota Twinkies, NESN announcer Dave Shea informed us that former Red Sox great and HOFer Jim Rice hit 382 homeruns in his career, plus another two postseason homeruns (384). I didn’t check the math myself but the total distance Rice ran around the bases for those 384 homeruns is 26.2 miles, a marathon.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Seriously, there are really too many to post.

UPS Tracking: “Your package is in X City, USA on a truck driven by Bob and will be at your door at 2:37pm”
FedEx: “Your package is somewhere. You’ll get it when we give it to you.”
USPS: “What package?”
Amazon: “We are inside your apartment…”

Trivia #1 answer: Red Sox great Mo Vaughn attending what college? – Seton Hall
Trivia #2 answer: What outfielder had the most career putouts? – Hank Aaron, Willie Mays, Tris Speaker, Ty Cobb, Barry Bonds, Rickey Henderson, Mike Greenwell – Willie Mays (7,095)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy Earth Day!

Speaking of Earth Day… Science has confirmed that the depletion of the ozone was largely due to all the hairspray used in the 80’s for those big-ass hairdos. You know who you are. Step up and acknowledge your guilt.

“Hey Nineteen
That’s ‘Retha Franklin
She don’t remember
The Queen of Soul
It’s hard times befallen
The Soul Survivors
She thinks I’m crazy
But I’m just growing old

Hey nineteen
No we got nothing in common
No we can’t talk at all
Please take me along
When you slide on down”

– Steely Dan

Friday, April 15, 2022

Briefly.

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by.

Trivia #1: Who has scored the most points in a single season for the Boston Celtics?
Trivia #2: In what year was the song “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” first published? – 1905, 1907, 1908, 1910, 1911, 1913
Trivia #3: Which of the following is NOT prohibited at Augusta National during the Masters? – Cell phones; wearing your hat/cap backwards; cameras during the practice rounds; selfie sticks; strollers; binoculars
Trivia #4: The USFL team from Birmingham is named what? – The Generals, The Bandits, The Panthers, The Stallions, The Maulers, The Breakers, The Hillies
Trivia #5: Why is the National Parks Service waving admission fees to all parks tomorrow, April 16?

It’s not Good Friday, it’s GREAT Friday!

Masters’ commentator Nick Faldo got roasted on social media for his reaction to Rory McIlroy holing out from the bunker on 18 at the Masters. Those watching the broadcast were watching Sheffler/Smith while Faldo said something to the likes of “Something incredible just happened on 18”. One tweet on Twitter read: “Nick Faldo probably gives away the Wordle answer every morning too…”

Try Wordle, cool online game. (As a public service, the best way to google something like “Wordle” is on google.com)

I can’t say that I own direct shares of Twitter but I hope you do!

Your Boston Celtics kick-off the playoff season on Sunday versus the Nets, from Brooklyn.

Good news: Pink Floyd is releasing its first new music in almost three decades to raise money for the people of Ukraine. The tune, “Hey Hey Rise Up” features vocals from Ukrainian singer Andriy Khlyvnyuk. Cool.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The NBA unveils reimagined NBA Finals script logo

Article I’ll skip: Prince Harry, Meghan Markle visit Queen Elizabeth together for the first time since leaving the UK

Say what? Draymond Green says the 2016 Warriors were the ‘best team ever’ despite losing in the Finals.

DYK: A Venice seagull problem led to squirt guns being distribution at high-end hotels? Yikes!

Article I think I will read: “Iowa pastor shares story of leaving his life in the adult film industry behind”

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Walt Disney World announced is most recent limited-time treat for adults – the “Boozy Bunny.” Available in Disney Springs at The Ganachery chocolate shop at Walt Disney World Resort near Orlando, this chocolate bunny is hollow on the inside, then punctured with a hole in the back. It’s then filled with a chocolate drink and topped off with bourbon for those who wish to add alcohol.

Now here’s a fun game: “Florida teen killed while friends were taking turns shooting one another in bulletproof vest”

Well, it’s 1 for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready, 4 for sales, 5 for customer service, or press 6 to hear these options again.

Trivia #1 answer: Who has scored the most points in a single season for the Boston Celtics? – John Havlicek (2,338)
Trivia #2 answer: In what year was the song “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” first published? – 1905, 1907, 1908, 1910, 1911, 1913 – 1908
Trivia #3 answer: Which of the following is NOT prohibited at Augusta National during the Masters? – Cell phones; wearing your hat/cap backwards; cameras during the practice rounds; selfie sticks; strollers; binoculars – Binoculars are not prohibited
Trivia #4 answer: The USFL team from Birmingham is named what? – The Generals, The Bandits, The Panthers, The Stallions, The Maulers, The Breakers, The Hillies – The Stallions
Trivia #5 answer: Why is the National Parks Service waving admission fees to all parks tomorrow, April 16? – Simply to kickoff National Parks Week – duh!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy Opening Day – Fenway Park – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnHV5FaqvEs

“Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out to the crowd;
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don’t care if I never get back.
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don’t win it’s a shame.
For it’s one, two, three strikes, you’re out,
At the old ball game.”

Friday, April 8, 2022

Briefly.

OK, March 17 has long since passed. Please resume to your normal nationality. See you all on May 5, when we’re all Mexican.

Trivia #1: Why is the “Green Jacket” presented to the winner at Augusta National?
Trivia #2: Who has held the most first, second or third round leads without winning a single Masters?
Trivia #3: Since 1960, Bruce Fleisher has gone the most years between Masters appearances (23). Which player is second and is playing this year? Bonus: How many years?
Trivia #4: Who is the oldest player to make the cut at Augusta?

Happy Opening Day, Red Sox fans!

Bob Uecker, 88, is heading towards his 52nd season calling Brewers games on radio, a job he plans to continue until he cannot do it anymore. He is coming off one of the most difficult periods in his life. It started back in October, when Uecker underwent a third knee surgery — a replacement of a previous replacement of his right knee. He then had two cancerous spots removed from his back. Then on March 11 his daughter Leann, whom Ueck and his wife Judy had been caring for, succumbed to ALS after a three-year battle.  I’m rooting for Ueck!

“He missed the tag!!!”

I’m not a fan of the DH. Having said that, I do like that yesterday the Angel’s Shohei Ohtani was removed from the game as a pitcher but was able to stay in the game as a DH.

The Red Sox will win 91 games this season.

Here in New England, I think the worst possible word used in a weather forecast is “raw.” I hate it when it’s raw.

I wish I had a gallery to stop some of my golf shots from going into the woods.

Speaking of which, I can’t believe it hasn’t happened yet but it’s going to. Someone is going to ping a spectator along standing out along the tee area. Like baseball, that will prompt “those people” to petition for nets and the way people watch golf will change. It’s going to happen.

Is Tom Watson not one of the classiest guys in all of sports?

“As Tiger Woods prepares to embark on another historical milestone to secure his sixth green jacket with a Masters win at Augusta National Golf Course this weekend, many fans of the power swinger will be watching along to see how his longtime girlfriend, Erica Herman, will be cheering him on to victory.” Ah no, not this guy.

Speaking of Tiger, one under yesterday. Impressive. He is in position to make the cut and then who knows. Should be fun.

It’s that time of the year, yes, the NFL draft and that means, Mel Kiper. Shoot me.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: President George W. Bush encouraged daughter Jenna Bush Hager to elope.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: The Red Sox play the Atlanta Braves again this season, home and away. Please, make it stop. No one cares.

Don’t miss out! U.S. residents have until April 18 to file their 2018 tax returns, which is the last day of the three-year window. Why am I mentioning this? The IRS revealed there is $1.5 billion in unclaimed tax refunds from 2018.

After North Carolina defeated Duke last Saturday, the cheapest tickets for the championship game on Monday dropped from $130 to $30.

Welcome to spring in New England where whatever coat you grab on the way out of the house, it’s the wrong one.

No, I wasn’t rooting for the UConn women in the NCAA basketball tournament. I imagine fans of teams other than the Patriots feel the same way. You’ve won your championships, now go away.

Article I’ll skip: Will Smith Oscar crisis handled by inner circle fighting to save the actor’s brand.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The College of the Holy Cross announced on Monday that its science complex will be formally known as the Anthony S. Fauci Integrated Science Complex starting on June 11, a date that coincides with Dr. Fauci’s 60th class reunion weekend.

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries and Eminen. I call it my trail mix.

Trivia #1 answer: Why is the “Green Jacket” presented to the winner at Augusta National? The tradition of the Green Jacket at Augusta National Golf Club dates to 1937. That year, members of the club wore green jackets during the tournament so that fans in attendance could easily spot them if they needed to ask questions.
Trivia #2: Who has held the most first, second or third round leads without winning a single Masters? – Justin Rose
Trivia #3: Since 1960, Bruce Fleisher has gone the most years between Masters appearances (23). Which player is second and is playing this year? Bonus: How many years? – Luke List (17 years between Masters starts)
Trivia #4: Who is the oldest player to make the cut at Augusta? – Bernhard Langer (63 in 2020)

Happy National Empanada Day! (It’s Opening Day. I’ll settle for a hotdog)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Of all the things I value most in life
I see my memories and feel their warmth
And know that they are good
You know that I should”

– Black Sabbath

Friday, April 1, 2022

Briefly. (Have to get to the beach, you know)

Autopsy Club meeting Saturday. Open Mike Night. (It sucks to be Mike)

Trivia #1: You might be familiar with the term “neat” when it comes to ordering an alcoholic beverage. It means the alcohol, most popular being brandy or whiskey, is served straight up, no ice, not chilled, nothing added. Then there is the NEAT glass advertised as the best sprits glass available. What does NEAT stand for?
Trivia #2: What MLB catcher has caught the most games over the past three season?
Trivia #3: Which city hosted the most NCAA Division I men’s basketball championship games in the 20th century? – Kansas City, Indianapolis, Houston, Jacksonville, Miami, New Orleans, Lowell
Trivia #4: What was the last school to win back-to-back Division 1 men’s basketball championships? – USC, Texas, Florida, UCLA, Duke, North Carolina, Kentucky, Northern Essex

April Fools’! Some historians speculate that April Fools’ Day dates back to 1582, when France switched from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar, as called for by the Council of Trent in 1563. In the Julian Calendar, as in the Hindu calendar, the new year began with the spring equinox around April 1. People who were slow to get the news or failed to recognize that the start of the new year had moved to January 1 and continued to celebrate it during the last week of March through April 1 became the butt of jokes and hoaxes and were called “April fools.” These pranks included having paper fish placed on their backs and being referred to as “poisson d’avril” (April fish), said to symbolize a young, easily caught fish and a gullible person. Hey, I here to educate.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: See above

April really is the nuts though in terms of the greatest sports month. You have the Masters, NFL Draft, MLB Opening Day, NBA Playoffs (if you care), NCAA Basketball Championship(s), NCAA Hockey Championship, NHL Playoffs (OK, you have until May).

Tomorrow night’s North Carolina/Duke game is about as good theater as you can get. Tune in!

Overall on the Final Four? As mentioned previously, a Duke championship would be an incredible story with the whole ‘Coach K Thing’, but give me North Carolina as just the second #8 seed (lowest) to win it all.

As you saw in last week’s Friday blog, I’ve been on a bit of a Jackson Browne kick lately. Great talent, some outstanding tunes. Had I any talent back in the day, I never could have pulled off singing Browne’s “Running On Empty.” I mean: “In ’69, I was 6 and called the road my own…” Just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Article I’ll skip: Whoopie Goldberg goes off on ‘View’ co-host for slight against ‘Hollywood Elite’: ‘It really pisses me off’

Some Saint Bonaventure fans had a difficult time getting to the men’s basketball team’s semifinal game at MSG on Tuesday night. One bus caught fire, another lost its emergency hatch and later broke down and a third was pulled over state troopers. To make matter worse the Bonnies got crushed by Xavier.

There is no good breakfast bar. You now, when you’re running out the door in the morning but you need “something” quick in your stomach, something you can eat while driving? There are so many choices for breakfast bars but I think they all suck.

JetBlue Airlines advertises that their planes are equipped with hospital-grade HEPA filters that remove 99.97% of particles, bacteria and viruses. Oh, so .03% is the reason to continue to wear a mask? Sheer buffoonery!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A restaurant in France claims it was threatened by patrons who thought poutine, its signature dish, was named after Putin.

You know gas prices are high when the guy in the lifted truck isn’t revving his engine at Walmart during mating season.

Trivia #1 answer: You might be familiar with the term “neat” when it comes to ordering an alcoholic beverage. It means the alcohol, most popular being brandy or whiskey, is served straight up, no ice, not chilled, nothing added. Then there is the NEAT glass advertised as the best sprits glass available. What does NEAT stand for? – Naturally Engineered Aroma Technology
Trivia #2 answer: What MLB catcher has caught the most games over the past three season? – The Red Sox Christian Vasquez. MLB ran a list of the most underrated players at each position heading into the 2022 season and Vasquez was named for catchers.
Trivia #3 answer: Which city hosted the most NCAA Division I championship games in the 20th century? – Kansas City, Indianapolis, Houston, Jacksonville, Miami, New Orleans, Lowell – Kansas City
Trivia #4 answer: What was the last school to win back-to-back Division 1 men’s basketball championships? – USC, Texas, Florida, UCLA, Duke, North Carolina, Kentucky, Northern Essex – Florida (2006 & 2007)

Happy National Sourdough Bread Day!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo
You’re living in you own Private Idaho
Living in your own Private Idaho
Underground like a wild potato.
Don’t go on the patio.
Beware of the pool,
blue bottomless pool.
It leads you straight
right through the gate
that opens the pool.

You’re living in your own Private Idaho.
You’re living in your own Private Idaho.

– The B-52’s

Thought I was going to go all Jackson Browne on you, didn’t you? Not sure where my head is at today…

Friday, March 25, 2022

Briefly. (Have to get to the beach, you know)

Fun fact: A majority of archeologists are women due to their natural ability to dig up the past.

Trivia #1: What was the first school to have 20 Final Four appearances? – North Carolina, Gonzaga, UCLA, Kentucky, Duke, San Francisco, Northern Essex Community College
Trivia #2: What player holds the NCAA men’s tournament record for scoring in a single game? – Elvin Hayes, Bill Bradley, Michael Jordan, Austin Carr, Christian Laettner, Lew Alcindor

Research kills cancer.

Article I’ll skip: “As Saint Peter’s readies for Sweet 16, sport psychologist reveals why fans are rooting for the Peacocks” – Let me summarize the article that I didn’t read. People are rooting for the Peacocks because a) they are a 15 seed and b) they knocked off Kentucky.

The Providence Friars men’s basketball team traveled to Chicago for their Sweet 16 matchup with Kansas in the New England Patriot’s team jet. Cool for them.

I was on a hike and saw a sign that read “such-n-such – 6/10’s miles.” Being the wise-ass that I am, I said to my wife; “why don’t they just say 3/5’s miles?” Being the math teacher that she is, Kathy responded; “Because most people wouldn’t understand 3/5’s.” After a brief discussion we both realized that, unfortunately, she was probably correct.

The NFL’s AFC continues to get better. Yes, Tyreek Hill is still in the conference but now bolstering the Miami Dolphins offense. Along with Jaylen Waddle, Tua Tagovailoa (sp? – who cares) now has two legitimate weapons. I’m not sure if the Patriots signing of Malcolm Butler cures this dilemma…

Best T-shirt seen recently, on an 80-something year old guy: “It’s not a bald spot, it’s a solar panel for a sex machine.”

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: LeBron James is the 6th player with three or more triple-doubles against his former team. Useless information.

The Boston Celtics continue to roll. Do you believe?

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Article title: Virginia judge says parents of 12 immunocompromised kids can ask schools to require masks.

Trivia #1 answer: What was the first school to have 20 Final Four appearances? – North Carolina, Gonzaga, UCLA, Kentucky, Duke, San Francisco, Northern Essex Community College – North Carolina
Trivia #2 answer: What player holds the NCAA men’s tournament record for scoring in a single game? – Elvin Hayes, Bill Bradley, Michael Jordan, Austin Carr, Christian Laettner, Lew Alcindor – Austin Carr, Notre Dame (61 vs. Ohio in 1970)

Have a crazy good day!

Happy National Lobster Newburg Day!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Doctor, my eyes have seen the years
And the slow parade of fears without crying
Now I want to understand

I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good without hiding
You must help me if you can

Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise to leave them open for so long”

– Jackson Browne

Friday, March 18, 2022

Briefly. (Have to get to the beach, you know)

Gas prices have skyrocketed so I am forced to again sell nudes. $5 to get one, $25 to not get one.

Trivia #1: What broadcaster is credited with associating the term “March Madness” with the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament?
Trivia #2: In 1940, Indiana University won the NCAA men’s tournament title under coach Emmett “Branch” McCracken. He is the youngest coach to win the title, at wht age? – 27, 30, 31, 33, 35, 39

And away we go! Two 12 seeds knock off 5 seeds and #15 St. Peter’s beats #2 Kentucky. Who around these parts, and elsewhere, didn’t like John Calipari during his run with UMass back in the late 80’s, early 90’s? Having said that I had no problem watching his Kentucky Wildcats go down last night. See ya!

My brackets? As if you care, one is trash, the other arguably had early potential.

As stated previously, often, I’m not a Duke fan but what a story that would be if Coach K goes out on top.

I want to get lost in your rock n roll and drift away…

Listerine claims it kills 99.9% of germs that cause bad breath, plaque and gingivitis. Why is there not mass hysteria about that .1% that even Listerine can’t kill?

Article I’ll skip: Mark Ruffalo, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Stiller and more sign letter protesting Canada Gas Pipeline. “Oh, Leonardo signed it, well!!!!” Please…

Go away, Tom Brady. I’ve always been a big fan and appreciate all that he has done in New England, but go away and stop with this Brett Favre bullshit. It’s embarrassing.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Minnesota Viking’s quarterback Kirk Cousins, that’s right Kirk Cousins, signed a $35M contract for the upcoming season, every penny of which is guaranteed.

I’ll admit I watch my use of toilet paper since the pandemic. I just do. But let me tell you, when on vacation the paper comes off that roll like there’s no tomorrow!

I sneezed while eating alphabet soup, took the words right out of my mouth.

Trivia #1 answer: What broadcaster is credited with associating the term “March Madness” with the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament? – Brent Musberger
Trivia #2: In 1940, Indiana University won the NCAA men’s tournament title under coach Emmett “Branch” McCracken. He is the youngest coach to win the title, at what age? – 27, 30, 31, 33, 35, 39 – He was 31

Happy Awkward Moments Day! (Now, this should be fun!)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“I’ve been to
Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota,
Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota,
Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma,
Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, La Paloma,
Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo,
Tocopilla, Barranquilla, and Padilla, I’m a killer.

I’ve been everywhere, man.
I’ve been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert’s bare, man.
I’ve breathed the mountain air, man.
Of travel I’ve a-had my share, man.
I’ve been everywhere.