Friday, October 15, 2021

Briefly.

Wanna make a car dealer uncomfortable, just say “tell me if you can hear this,” then get in the trunk and start screaming.

Trivia #1: Which one NFL team is undefeated against the point spread so far this season?
Trivia #2: The Dodgers and Giants have been playing each other since 1890 (that’s what I read…). Before this season, how many times have they met in the postseason? – 0,1,4,5,7,10,14 time
Trivia #3: Which NFL team is in the midst of a streak of leading at halftime for 14 consecutive games, the longest in league history?
Trivia #4: How many points have the Patriots scored in the 1st quarter in their last 12 home games? – 0, 7, 10, 17, 24, 30, 37, 44, 60
Trivia #5: In this century, 29 teams have finished the regular season with 100 or more wins, only four went on to win the World Series. Which of the following did not – Chicago Cubs, Red Sox, SF Giants, yankees, Astros
Trivia #6 (Six?!?!): In what years did the Boston Bruins have four consecutive seasons with 50+ regular season wins?

Get ready Boston! All four sports will be in action soon! Wednesday, October 20 could see Sox/Rays (game 5), Celtics/Knicks, Bruins/Flyers. Buckle up!

The Bruins open at home tomorrow versus Dallas. They are currently +$1,400 to win the Cup. The Avalanche are the favorites at +$600.

The Celtics open Wednesday versus the Knicks. The Nets are favored to win it all at +$240. The Celtics come in at +$4,000.

You can’t say enough about the Red Sox! Beating the 100-win, heavily favored Rays three straight after dropping game one. The list goes on and on but Garrett Whitlock, who got the final three outs against the yankees in the Wildcard game, gets the win in the series clincher against the Rays. How sweeeet!

Speaking of the Dodgers… did you catch the end of game 5 last night versus the Giants? Neither did I but… the game ended on an appealed third strike swing and the 1st base umpire wrung-up Wilmer Flores for the final out. I watched it and didn’t think he swung. DOH!

Article I’ll skip: “Bill Gate’s daughter runs errands before lavish wedding” – whaaaa?!?!

There were 12 missed PAT’s last week in the NFL, tied for the most in a single week.

Why are the NFL’s Rams starting off so well? Matthew Stafford, traded from the Lions and notoriously one of the least mobile quarterbacks in the league, has been sacked an NFL-low 4 times so far this season.

Quote for the week: “When a stone hits a lake, it stops and then it sinks. So we literally hit the atmosphere and stopped, and it was about 5Gs…I’ve never experienced that. I was trying to smile but my jaw was pushed back in my head.” – Chris Boshuizen, a co-founder of satellite company Planet Labs, who flew alongside 90-year-old William Shatner in their Blue Origin flight to space.

Speaking of which, is there any truth to the rumor that, after seeing Captain Kirk’s backside upon his return from space, that he is now referred to as William Shatt?!

People often ask me (not once has anyone even considered) “Ed, what’s the status with the Fan Controlled Football League (FCF)?” – The FCF kicks off “soon” in 2022 with 4 new expansion teams and games will be available on Peacock as well as NBCLX (whatever that is). Talk about exciting!!! Hmmm
 
In useless news: ESPN has signed a five-year agreement with the NFL to broadcast the Monday night game during the first weekend of the playoffs, beginning this season.

In last Friday’s Red Sox 14-6 victory over Tampa, pitcher Matt Barnes warmed up in both the first and ninth innings. You don’t see that every day.

Urban Meyer. Sorry for him… NOT!

In WNBA news…

Sad news: According to the Pentagon, suicides in the U.S. Army’s active-duty forces jumped 46% last quarter compared to the same period last year.

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the other person is a complete idiot.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Rolling Stones have removed “Brown Sugar” from their performance playlist during their current U.S. tour.

JD Martinez rebounded from being as big a postseason disappointment as there could have been when he tripped over second base running out to right field in the Sox’ regular season finale. He missed the Wildcard game and game one vs. the Rays but rebounded nicely and is a big piece to this team. Let’s hope…

Trivia #1 answer: Which one NFL team is undefeated against the point spread so far this season? – The Dallas Cowboys who are a mere 4-point favorite over our New England Patriots on Sunday
Trivia #2 answer: The Dodgers and Giants have been playing each other since 1890 (that’s what I read…). Before this season, how many times have they met in the postseason? – 0,1,4,5,7,10,14 – zero!
Trivia #3 answer: Which NFL team is in the midst of a streak of leading at halftime for 14 consecutive games, the longest in league history? – The Buffalo Bills
Trivia #4 answer: How many points have the Patriots scored in the first quarter in their last 12 home games? – 0, 7, 10, 17, 24, 30, 37, 44, 60 – 10 points (they have been shut out 10 of 12 in the first quarter!)
Trivia #5 answer: In this century, 29 teams have finished the regular season with 100 or more wins, only four went on to win the World Series. Which of the following did not – Chicago Cubs, Red Sox, SF Giants, yankees, Astros – SF Giants (Cubs – 2016, Red Sox – 2018, yankees – 2009, Astros – 2017)
Trivia #6 answer: In what years did the Boston Bruins have four consecutive seasons with 50+ regular season wins? – 1970-1974 (57, 54, 51 ,52 respectively)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“In a place you only dream of
Where your soul is always free
Silver stages, golden curtains
Filled my head, plain as can be
As a rainbow grew around the sun
All the stars above who died came from
Somewhere beyond the scene you see
These lovely people played just for me”

– Outlaws

friday, october 8, 2021

Briefly. (Travel day)

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Trivia #1: Who is nicknamed “La Pina?”
Trivia #2: What news station launched 25 years ago yesterday?
Trivia #3: How many players on this year’s ALDS Red Sox roster appeared in a game for the Red Sox in the 2018 ALDS?

Did you watch the LA Rams vs. the Seattle Shreks last night? I mean, what was with those uniforms?!

What a week for our Boston Red Sox. First, an incredible 9th-inning, come-from-behind win over the Washington Nats to earn the top AL Wild Card spot. Then, on Tuesday, a truly satisfying win over the Yankees in the one-game, Wild Card playoff. They did lose game 1 to the Rays last night in the ALDS but there is still baseball to be played, something we wondered about just a week ago.

Speaking of the Patriots… what was billed as “The Return”, Tom Brady’s return to Foxboro, pretty much lived up to its hype. I mean, good game (19-17) muchly thanks to the rain which had an obvious effect on several of Brady’s throws. He got the better of the Patriots, just not in grand style. As for Patriot’s quarterback Mac Jones, there is hope!

Good news: Michigan police officer Kevin Coates pulled over 79-year-old “David” for speeding. The man was distraught and explained that his son is mentally ill and his wife is in bad health. He had bought her a new television but was having trouble hooking it up. After letting David go with the warning, Coates and two other officers showed up at David’s house just hours later and help get the TV setup. Nice.

Speaking of football, what an interesting game this past Monday in LA. First, the Chargers had moved from San Diego to LA while the visiting Raiders had moved from LA to Las Vegas. Guess what? The Raider fans didn’t get the memo about the move and flooded SoFi Stadium such that it was like a home game for the visitors. Then, the game was delayed due to lightning. Did I mention that SoFi Stadium is a dome?!

Article I’ll skip: Arnold Schwarzenegger’s son Christopher unveils his weight loss during outing with mom Maria Shriver.

Quote for the week: “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.” – Henry Ford

I like the Baker Mayfield commercials. Note to the producers, keep including his wife in those commercials. What a hottie!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Jeffery Burnham of Maryland killed his pharmacist brother because he thought he was “poisoning” people by administering COVID-19 vaccines.

So, all you Jimmy G(aroppolo) fans, and you know who you are, here we go again. You pissed and moaned when the Patriots traded him and “only” got a second round pick in return. Garoppolo has now described his latest “injury” a calf contusion/sprain as a freak injury. Again, the guy just cannot stay on the field. Good trade.

Trivia #1 answer: Who is nicknamed “La Pina?” – The Houston Astros’ “Yulieski ‘Yuli’ Gurriel Castillo, who had a walkoff hit in Houston’s regular season finale, his only at-bat of the game, and he finished as the AL batting champ (.319). Gurriel is 37 years old.
Trivia #2 answer: What news station launched 25 years ago yesterday? – Fox News
Trivia #3: How many players on this year’s ALDS Red Sox roster appeared in a game for the Red Sox in the 2018 ALDS? – 8 – Chris Sale, Eduardo Rodriquez, Nate Eovaldi, Ryan Brasier, Xander Bogaerts, Rafi Devers, Christian Vasquez, J.D. Martinez

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Yes, I told you that light goes up and down.
Did you notice how the wheel goes ‘round?
And you better pick yourself up off the ground
Before they bring the curtain down.
Yes, before they bring the curtain down.”

– Cream

Friday, october 1, 2021

Briefly.

If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and acts like a duck… according to Facebook fact checkers it’s a squirrel.

Trivia #1: Who was the best statistical running back in the NFL, in terms of yardage (10,434), in the 2010’s?
Trivia #2: Last weekend Matty Ryan led his 39th game-winning drive. Who did he tie as the active in leader in that category?
Trivia #3: The Baltimore Ravens’ Justin Tucker broke the NFL record last Sunday with a 66-yard field goal (can you say “doink!?”). Whose record did he break?
Trivia #4: The LA Rams’ DeSean Jackson caught his 9th career touchdown pass of 75 yards or more, tying an NFL record. Who is he tied with?
Trivia #5: The United States won the Ryder Cup by the largest margin in history (19-9). When was the last time the U.S. won back-to-back Ryder Cups?
Trivia #6: After three weeks, who are the only two undefeated teams in the NFL’s AFC?
Trivia #7: Who invented the word “Vomit?”

It’s October.

Are you ready, finally, for the Patriots (Bill Belichick) vs. Brady? Let’s get it on! If you say you are rooting for Brady AND the Patriots, that’s bullshit. Go Pats!

This just in, Gronk has 5 broken ribs and will not accompany the Bucs to Foxboro. That just sux! (hey, I read it on the internet!)

The only thing fair in life is a ball hit between first and third.

The kickoff (football). Without a doubt the most useless “play” in professional sports. The ‘protecting players’ argument is bull. Either push the kick back or drop it entirely and let the team start at the 25.  A waste of time.

River keeps on flowin’, never worried about where it’s goin’…

The Boston Red Sox. Shoot me! I take full responsibility for their debacle against the yankees last weekend. I just don’t understand…

Last night pitted the 2021 first overall pick in the NFL draft (Trevor Lawrence) vs. the 2020 first overall pick (Joe Burrow). It actually wasn’t a terrible game with the latter coming out on top. Man, few things pleasure me more than seeing Urban Meyer lose.

Not only is my short-term memory horrible, but so is my short-term memory.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: After kicking his record 66-yard field goal on Sunday, the makers of “Madden 22” boosted Jason Tucker’s rating to 99, for a limited time…
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: Globally, McDonald’s sells 75 hamburgers per second

Chris Berman, love him or hate him? I love the guy, as old and corny as he can be.

Speaking of Trevor Lawrence, there are a lot of haters out there, calling him out because of his 7 picks in his first three career games. DYK: In Peyton Manning’s first three games he threw 8 interceptions!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A second hospital in Alaska is beginning to ration health care as the state deals with a spike in coronavirus cases.

Trivia #1 answer: Who was the best statistical running back in the NFL, in terms of yardage (10,434), in the 2010’s? – LeSean McCoy (who signed a one-day contract with Philadelphia to retire as an Eagle)
Trivia #2 answer: Last weekend Matty Ryan led his 39th game-winning drive. Who did he tie as the active in leader in that category? – Matthew Stafford
Trivia #3 answer: The Baltimore Ravens’ Justin Tucker broke the NFL record last Sunday with a 66-yard field goal (can you say “doink!?”). Whose record did he break? – Matt Prater (64)
Trivia #4 answer: The LA Rams’ DeSean Jackson caught his 9th career touchdown pass of 75 yards or more, tying an NFL record. Who is he tied with? – Lance Allworth
Trivia #5 answer: The United States won the Ryder Cup by the largest margin in history (19-9). When was the last time the U.S. won back-to-back Ryder Cups? – 1979-1983
Trivia #6 answer: After three weeks, who are the only two undefeated teams in the NFL’s AFC? – The Denver Broncos and the Las Vegas Raiders
Trivia #7 answer: Who invented the word “Vomit?” – William Shakespeare

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

I started a band called 999 Megabytes. Still haven’t gotten a gig.

“One two three four
If I had ever been here before
I would probably know just what to do
Don’t you?
If I had ever been here before on another time around the wheel
I would probably know just how to deal
With all of you
And I feel
Like I’ve been here before”

– Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Friday, September 24, 2021

Briefly. (A little late today due to technical difficulties) Quickie today

I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that read “I’m a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal.” Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the roads…

Trivia #1: Who was the youngest host of Saturday Night Live? – Miley Cyprus, Drew Barrymore, Macaulay Culkin, Justin Bieber
Trivia #2: Who has more regular season wins with the Red Sox – Terry Francona or Alex Cora?

\Won’t it be great to see the Red Sox eliminate the Yankees this weekend?

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Red Balloon, a new job board offering postings from companies promising their employees will be “free to work” without the fear of losing their jobs due to medical dictates or political drama.

EZPass is probably the greatest automobile-related invention since the cup holder, but especially the tolls where you can cruise through at any speed!

I love the Rolling Stones but sometimes they contradict themselves. For example, first it’s “Time Is On My Side” and then it’s “Time Waits For No One” (and it won’t wait for me.)

Good news?? There is a report out there that a poison ivy vaccine is making progress.

So a catcher, while tagging a runner out at the plate, loses his card from his wristband that had all the strategy to the opponent’s batters out. The guy on deck picks up the card and goes to his bench. Fair or dirty move? This happened this past week during a Rays/Jays game. I say fair! You and your teammates should already know how to get yourselves out. Part of the game.

Crickets suck (the noise). Someday I hope this is my biggest problem.

Sign of the week: On a sign outside of Pica’s Pub & Grille in Methuen, MA – “Family Owned – Shut up… no, you shut up”

Quote for the week: “Wow. Another night with these shitty uniforms. WTF!” – Scott Zolak, on Twitter, regarding the Red Sox “LeBron” uniforms.

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed the other day losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless and perplexed.

Trivia #1 answer: Who was the youngest host of Saturday Night Live? – Miley Cyprus, Drew Barrymore, Macaulay Culkin, Justin Bieber – Drew Barrymore (7 in 1982)
Trivia #2: Who has more regular season wins with the Red Sox – Terry Francona or Alex Cora? – Cora (280 and counting), Terry Francona (279)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

So I was called out last week because I mentioned Todd Rundgren and Warren Zevon and then followed up with Billy Squire. OK, here you go.

“Hello it’s me
I’ve thought about us for a long, long time
Maybe I think too much but something’s wrong
There’s something here that doesn’t last too long
Maybe I shouldn’t think of you as mine”

– Todd Rundgren

Friday, September 17, 2021

Briefly. (sorry ‘bout last Friday. At least something here, though brief…)

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row!

Trivia #1: Which African country has the most pyramids? – Egypt, Sudan, Kenya, Nigeria, Lawrence
Trivia #2: Since 1979, which three NFL players have rushed for a touchdown, caught a touchdown pass and thrown for a touchdown in a single game?
Trivia #3: Who are Joe Salisbury and Rajeev Ram?

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: – which African country has the most pyramids?

Headline of the week: Soccer Team In Germany Gets Completely Naked For The First Ever Nude Vs Clothed Match

The WNBA put out their list of the 25 greatest players. Go ahead, look it up.00

Durng a commercial break in the Packers/Saints game, you might have caught Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid.” Ahhh, what the young don’t know/understand.

Quote for the week: “It’s no secret I don’t care about it.” – Rocker Todd Rundgren referring to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Rundgren will be inducted next month.

DYK: Warren Zevon is still not in the R&R HOF??? Blasphemy!

Think back to the last day you went without laughing… Don’t do that ever again!

Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the barman says “Oh God, not U2 again!”

R.I.P. David Patten (47) – Died in a motorcycle collision. Three-time Super Bowl champion with the Patriots. Made a memorable catch against Pittsburgh in the AFC Championship game propelling the Pats to Super Bowl XXXVI. (You might recall that Drew Bledsoe threw that pass)
R.I.P. Tunch Ilkin (64) – Turkish-born player of the NFL and sports broadcaster. Nothing here other than “cool name!”

Trivia #1 answer: Which African country has the most pyramids? – Egypt, Sudan, Kenya, Nigeria, Lawrence – Sudan
Trivia #2: Since 1979, which three NFL players have rushed for a touchdown, caught a touchdown pass and thrown for a touchdown in a single game? – Walter Payton (1979), David Patten (2001) and LaDainian Tomlinson (2005)
Trivia #3: Who are Joe Salisbury and Rajeev Ram? – They are the men’s doubles champions in this past week’s US Open (tennis, that is)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Somebody’s watchin’ you baby – so much you can do
Nobody’s stoppin’ you baby, from makin’ it too
One glimpse will show you now baby, what the music can do
One kiss will show you now baby – it can happen to you

No more sleepin’, wastin’ your time
Midnight’s creepin’ first on our minds
No more lazin’ ‘round the TV
You’ll go crazy – come out with me”

– Billy Squier

Friday, September 3, 2021

Briefly.

DYK: Replacing your potato chips with grapefruit as a snack you can lose up to 90% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

Trivia #1: Rafael Devers is now the 3rd Red Sox player, 24 years or younger, with 30+ homeruns and 30+ doubles in a single season multiple times. Who are the other two?
Trivia #2: Through August 30, the S&P 500 has made 52 all-time highs this year. How many times (years) has seen more than 50 new highs before the end of August? Bonus if you can name the year(s).
Trivia #3: What city was the Eiffel Tower originally intended for? – Barcelona, Madrid, Paris, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Berlin, Lawrence
Trivia #4: Who has the most birdies on the PGA tour this season? – Corey Conners, Sungjae Im, Patton Kizzire, Scottie Scheffler, Charley Hoffman, Joaquin Niemann

Fun, it’s what everything’s about.

Garrett Richard’s, Red Sox’ reliever? Closer? OK!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: dr. linda manyguns, associate vice-president of Indigenization and decolonization at Mount Royal University, said she was joining local leaders to reject symbols of hierarchy “wherever they are found,” and will not use capital letters “except to acknowledge the Indigenous struggle for recognition.”

Football is back! Last night the Ohio State Buckeyes beat the Minnesota Golden Gophers 45-31. No, I didn’t bet the game and really don’t care either but it was college football! It’s back!!!

Cam Newton. It was the last Super Bowl win for Patriots’ fans when they/we have felt so good!

Great theater last Sunday on the PGA tour with Patrick Cantlay hanging on for a win over Bryson (that’s Bryson) DeChambeau in 6 playoff holes.

In fishing news… According to the Maryland Department of Natural Resources, Billy Gerlach caught a blue marlin that weighed in at 1,135 pounds. Gerlach had been participating in the 30th Mid-Atlantic fishing tournament in Ocean City.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Patriots’ Rhamondre Stevenson now has the most pre-season rushing touchdowns, in a single season, in the Belichick era.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: During the first inning of each Red Sox game NESN shows the defense for each team. It shows, for example, that the Red Sox have committed 91 errors which is a 94% fielding percentage (for example). WTF does that mean?? They never tell you what the league average is, whether they are 1st in the league or last, or whether the number of errors they have committed compares favorably or negatively to other years or other teams! Useless!

Shohei Ohtani update: He stole home! Now granted he did it on a throw down to second trying to gun down a runner stealing second but still, stealing home is stealing home. The guy does it all!

The Baltimore Orioles were officially eliminated from the playoffs on August 28.

And so it begins. After having to practice in Texas for the better part of the past two weeks, the New Orleans Saints will be playing their “home” opener on September 12 in Jacksonville, FL.

Th Buffalo Bills’ quarterback Josh Allen, 25, is the oldest starting quarterback in the AFC East.

The Red Sox have lost 13.5 games to Tampa in the standings since July 6.

Speaking of the Red Sox, you figure them out. I can’t!

Headline of the week: “World’s fastest accelerating roller coaster closes due to reports of broken bones.” Duh! I mean, who builds a roller coaster out of bones???

The 2018 Alabama Crimson Tide now has 15 players starting in the NFL. Starting!

Beach: A place of relaxation, rest and tranquility; a place to lose your mind and find your soul.

Don’t look now but leaves are fallin’ all around…

R.I.P. Ed Asner (91) – Asner had more than 300 acting credits but was best known for his role as the lovable newsman Lou Grant on the Mary Tyler Moore Show in the 70’s.

DYK: 99-year-old Betty White is the lone surviving main cast member from The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Trivia #1 answer: Rafael Devers is now the 3rd Red Sox player, 24 years or younger, with 30+ homeruns and 30+ doubles in a single season multiple times. Who are the other two? – Ted Williams (3x) and Nomar Garciaparra (2x)
Trivia #2 answer: Through August 30, the S&P 500 has made 52 all-time highs this year. How many times (years) has seen more than 50 new highs before the end of August? Bonus if you can name the year(s). – 1964 & 1995
Trivia #3: What city was the Eiffel Tower originally intended for? – Barcelona, Madrid, Paris, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Berlin, Lawrence – Barcelona
Trivia #4: Who has the most birdies on the PGA tour this season? – Corey Conners, Sungjae Im, Patton Kizzire, Scottie Scheffler, Charley Hoffman, Joaquin Niemann – Sungjae Im (483) – 2nd place has 431 (Patton Kizzire)

I felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The gps blurted out you have reached your final destination.

Let the Mac Jones era begin!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Levon sells cartoon balloons in town
His family business thrives
Jesus blows up balloons all day
Sits on a porch swing watching them fly

And Jesus, he wants to go to Venus
Leaving Levon far behind
Take a balloon and go sailing
While Levon, Levon slowly dies”

– Elton John

Friday, August 27, 2021

Briefly.

Me: Alexa, remind me to go to the gym
Alexa: I have added gin to your shopping list
Me: Close enough

Trivia #1: What country has the most fresh water? – Brazil, Canada, Russia, Greenland, United States, Lawrence
Trivia #2: What two artists were NOT in the first-ever class of inductees into the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame in 1986? – Roy Orbison, Ray Charles, The Everly Brothers, Fats Domino, Marvin Gaye, Buddy Holly, Elvis Presley
Trivia #3: In the past 55 years, Tom Brady is the only quarterback to win two Super Bowls with a team that had a losing record the previous season (NE, TB). Three others have done this once, who?
Trivia #4: Who is Steve Jordan?
Trivia #5: (Five!!!): Miguel “Miggy” Cabrera just hit his 500th career homerun. That is the most by a Venezuelan born player. Who is second with 399?

I was remiss last Friday when I didn’t mention this past Tuesday/Wednesday’s NESN/WEEI Jimmy Fund Radio Telethon. Raise your hand if you haven’t been touched by cancer in one way or another. Ya, I see everyone’s hand up. Consider a donation, not too late. Cancer research works!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Rolling Stones’ Charlie Watts outlived bandmates Ron Wood, Mick Jaggar and Keith Richards. Go figure.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: Spencer Elden, the man photographed as a baby on the album cover for Nirvana’s Nevermind, is suing the band alleging sexual exploitation… 30 years after the photo shoot. The album cover shows a naked baby, under water, reaching for a dollar bill on a fishing hook.

In case you missed, Chris Sales threw an immaculate inning last night versus the Minnesota Twinkies. That’s three strikeouts on 9 pitches. He is now tied with Sandy Koufax with three career such innings.

Hosting Jeopardy, you’re doing it wrong. After it was reported that Mike Richard was the frontrunner to take over the position of the new host of Jeopardy, several scandals came to light, most notably his demoralizing comments made about women, Jewish people and the unemployed community previously made on a podcast. He was also named in a discrimination lawsuit while working as a producer on “The Price Is Right.”

China’s Zhu Xueying left Tokyo with a gold medal in the individual trampoline becoming the second Chinese Olympian to win the event at the Games. Zhu came home with one problem, her gold medal is allegedly peeling. Huh! Must have been “Made in China.”

I run an NFL Knockout/Elimination pool. (if you didn’t know and are interested, contact me directly). Anyway, the hosting fee for the website is “$20 for the first 20 entries and then $1 per entry above 20.” Hmmm. I ain’t too smart but isn’t that simply $1 per entry??

The PGA’s Tony Finau just went 1,795 days between tour victories. Good for him!

DYK: Murder Hornets kill honey bees by decapitating them. Cool!

An estimated 10,500 children (0-14 year of age) will be diagnosed with cancer in 2021.

Charlie Watts was married to his wife Shirley Ann for 57 years. The rest of the band between them might have had 57 wives!

The Rolling Stones “No Filter” tour will go on as planned. The tour kicked off last night in St. Louis.

Bacon and eggs? Meh. Taco Bell is bringing breakfast back! You can once again get the ‘Breakfast Burrito’, which is typically followed by the ‘Lunch Trip to the Toilet.’

R.I.P. Don Everly (84) – Along with brother Phil, the Everly Brothers harmonizing country rock hits impacted a generation of rock ‘n roll music. Their harmonies influenced the Beatles and Simon & Garfunkel and, a decade later, Gram Parsons and Linda Ronstadt.
R.I.P. Charlie Watts (80) – Watts, the forever drummer for The Rolling Stones, was one of three (with Mick Jagger and Keith Richards) to play on every one of The Rolling Stones albums.

McDonalds called out order 867 and I yelled 5309 and nobody laughed then I felt old and ate my burger in the playground area.

Trivia #1 answer: What country has the most fresh water? – Brazil, Canada, Russia, Greenland, United States, Lawrence – Brazil
Trivia #2 answer: What two artists were NOT in the first-ever class of inductees into the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame in 1986? – Roy Orbison, Ray Charles, The Everly Brothers, Fats Domino, Marvin Gaye, Buddy Holly, Elvis Presley – Roy Orbison and Marvin Gaye (both were inducted in 1987)
Trivia #3 answer: In the past 55 years, Tom Brady is the only quarterback to win two Super Bowls with a team that had a losing record the previous season (NE, TB). Three others have done this once, who? – Nick Foles (PHI), Kurt Warner (STL), Joe Montana (SF)
Trivia #4 answer: Who is Steve Jordan? – Steve is sitting in for Charlie Watts on the current Rolling Stones Tour through the States. Said Jordan: “It is an absolute honor and a privilege to be Charlie’s understudy.”
Trivia #5: (Five!!!): Miguel “Miggy” Cabrera just hit his 500th career homerun. That is the most by a Venezuelan born player. Who is second with 399? – Andres Galarraga

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

I had to reference two songs today…

“Bye bye love
Bye bye happiness
Hello loneliness
I think I’m-a gonna cry-y
Bye bye love
Bye bye sweet caress
Hello emptiness
I feel like I could die
Bye bye my love goodbye”

– The Everly Brothers

“Mama says yes, Papa says no
Make up your mind ‘cause I gotta go
I’m gonna raise hell at the Union Hall
Drive myself right over the wall

Rip this joint, gonna save your soul
Round and round and round we go
Roll this joint, gonna get down low
Start my starter, gonna stop the show

Oh yeah!”

– The Rolling Stones

Friday, August 20, 2021

Briefly. (Welcome back!)

I told my Dad I ran out of alcohol and didn’t have any money to buy any for the weekend… so he gave me the bottle of vodka from the cupboard that I stole and replaced with water when I was 16… Life really does come back and bite you in the ass.

Trivia #1: What four MLB players have knocked in 708 or more runs over a five-season span?
Trivia #2: How many pitching appearances did Babe Ruth make in his 15 seasons with the Yankees? – 5, 21, 45, 60, 77, 101
Trivia #3: In what year was Creedence Clearwater Revival’s (CCR) first album released? – 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969,1970. Bonus: In what year was their final album released? (new production, not compilation)

After seven decades Kowloon, Boston’s iconic restaurant very recognizable to anyone who drove north on route 1 from Boston, will be closing its doors. It is reported that the closing is not COVID-19 related but rather of family members choosing not to continue the closely-held business.

Not closing, you’re doing it wrong. In researching the details of Kowloon’s closing I came across an article from this past January 8. The article began: “Everyone can take a deep breath: Kowloon has not been sold and it is not for sale.  It’s also not closing – at least not anytime soon.”

I watched a bit of the Patriots/Eagles last night. I like the Pats, what else is new, and think they will do OK. Can they make the playoffs and win a playoff game, I think so. Beyond that, I think not. I’ll tell you this though, I really don’t care who is under center, I just want them to win. If Cam Newton isn’t the answer, sit him down. Is Mac ain’t the answer either, sit his ass down too.

Speaking of the Red Sox… this past Tuesday and Wednesday was the worst two-day stretch for the team in a long, long time. The team seems to have given up and that is a shame. Let’s see if they look/play any differently going forward.

DYK: CCR’s compilation album “Chronicle the 20 Greatest Hits”, originally released in 1976 (trivia hint), is still on the Billboard 200 and reached the 500-weeks mark in December 2020. It has been awarded 10x platinum, meaning it has sold over 10 million copies. Rolling Stone ranked them 82nd on its 100 Greatest Artists of All Time. (as for the 500-weeks thing, I know, the math doesn’t add up but… I read it on the internet)

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Zaki Anwari, a national youth team soccer player from Afghanistan, died after he fell off a USAF Boeing C-17 on Monday. Anwari, who was 19 years old, was reportedly trying to hold on to the outside part of the American military aircraft. The whole thing is sickening.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: United Airlines is telling their flight attendants not to duct tape unruly passengers.

Shohei Ohtani update: The Angels’ “Do All” is 8-1 with a 2.79 ERA and this past week hit his MLB-leading 40th homer.

Headline of the week (coupled with “Article I won’t read): “Prince Harry, Meaghan Markle found leaving royal life much “harder” than expected” – Oh, cry a river…

I went to Mc Donald’s yesterday and ate a Kids’ Meal. It was good but his Mom was furious.

Being controversial, well kind of… Detroit Tigers’ broadcaster, HOF pitcher Jack Morris, when asked how to pitch the Angels’ Shohei Ohtani, responded by saying: “Be very, very careful” in a mimicking accent. Ohtani later commented saying: “I did see the footage and I heard it. Personally, I’m not offended and didn’t take anything personally. He is a Hall of Famer. He has a big influence in the baseball world. It’s kind of a tough sport.”

Speaking of burgers… if you go to a baseball park and eat a plant-based hot dog, I do not know you.

People often ask me, possibly never again, “Ed, what is up with Tim Tebow?” Tim Tebow, the NFL quarterback-turned-tight end, was recently cut by the Jacksonville Jaguars, ending his comeback attempt. Subsequently, Tebow partnered with Clean Juice to become the company’s national brand ambassador. (you can’t make this shit up)

Trivia #1 answer: What four MLB players have knocked in 708 or more runs over a five-season span? – Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth, Jimmy Foxx and Hank Wilson.
Trivia #2 answer: How many pitching appearances did Babe Ruth make in his 15 seasons with the Yankees? – 5, 21, 45, 60, 77, 101 – He made five appearances and was 5-0.
Trivia #3: In what year was Creedence Clearwater Revival’s (CCR) first album released? – 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969,1970. Bonus: In what year was their final album released? (new production, not compilation) – 1968, bonus: 1972

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Well, you wake up in the mornin’, you hear the work bell ring
And they march you to the table to see the same old thing
Ain’t no food on the table, and no pork in the pan
But you better not complain, boy, you get in trouble with the man

Let the Midnight Special shine the light on me
Let the Midnight Special shine the light on me
Let the Midnight Special shine the light on me
Let the Midnight Special shine a everlovin’ light on me”

– Creedence Clearwater Revival

Friday, August 6, 2021

Briefly.

My farmer friend used his stimulus money to buy baby chickens. He got his money for nothing and his chicks for free.

Trivia #1: What is the plural of “cul-de-sac?”
Trivia #2: Who holds the Instagram world record for the most-liked sports photo in social media history?
Trivia #3: One of the bloodiest wars in modern history, the Nigerian civil war ran from July 6, 1967 until January, 1970. It only stopped for two days over its three-year span. Why did it stop?
Trivia #4: How many numbers have been retired by the Boston Red Sox? Bonus: Which of those players have not been elected to the Hall of Fame? (hint: two of them)
Trivia #5: Which is NOT an Olympic sport? – Modern Pentathlon, Trampoline Gymnastics, Sport Climbing, Cycling Mountain Bike, Cycling Road, Cycling Track, Underwater Swimming

In case you missed it, parts of western United States are at a ‘D4’ drought level (“exceptionally dry”) which is the most intense level on the scale. With respect to Lake Mead at Hoover Dam, its “end of month elevation” in July stood at 1067.65 feet, it’s lowest level ever. Lake Mead not only supplies water to 25 million people in cities such as Los Angeles, San Diego, Tucson and Las Vegas, it also raises concerns about reduced output from the connected hydroelectric plant that powers more than half of southern California. And here we are bitching about the rain!

Here’s a thought, let’s form a line from various lakes in the northeast all the way to Lake Mead. We can pass buckets of water and…

NFL preseason games begin next Thursday, August 12.

Speaking of the NFL, how much can carshield.com possibly be paying Chris Berman to do those television commercials?

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Back in February, East Peoria, Illinois police officer Jeffery Bieber managed to fatally shoot an assailant despite having been stabbed by the suspect multiple times during a traffic stop. The Illinois Association of Chiefs of Police named Bieber its Officer of the Year and put a post on Facebook. Facebook rejected the post and responded: “As per policy: Your ad may have been rejected because it mentions politicians or is about sensitive social issues that could influence public opinion, how people vote and may impact the outcome of an election or pending legislation.”

People often ask me (not even a single time) “Ed, what’s up with Tim Tebow?” No. 1 NFL pick Trevor Lawrence of the Jacksonville Jaguars recently threw a touchdown pass to free agent tight end Tim Tebow.

Trying to win an Olympic medal… you’re doing it wrong. Ukrainian Olympian Serhiy Kulish was participating in the 50-meter rifle fire and hoping to pick up a medal as he did in the 2016 Rio de Janeiro games. He was in fourth place with 30 shots fired when he accidently fired at another competitor’s target. DOH!

Here’s a question for all you mind readers out there.

I have to admit, from a Bruins’ standpoint, I’ll miss David Krejci.

Are you watching the Olympics? You can learn a lot when you do. For example, I learned that a particular Japanese pitcher is 1.83M tall and throws his fastball 143kph.

What if UFOs are just billionaires from other planets?

R.I.P. Saginaw Grant (85) – A prolific Native American of “The Lone Ranger” fame passed away last week. The announcement of his death read “…Saginaw Morgan Grant, hereditary chief and medicine man of the Sac & Fox tribe, traveled the world speaking of his traditions, his experiences, his sobriety and his faith as both a Native American and a Christian.”

Trivia #1 answer: What is the plural of “cul-de-sac?” – Culs-de-sac (really)
Trivia #2 answer: Who holds the Instagram world record for the most-liked sports photo in social media history? – Soccer star Lionel Messi (over 20 million) posing with the Copa America trophy
Trivia #3 answer: One of the bloodiest wars in modern history, the Nigerian civil war ran from July 6, 1967 until January, 1970. It only stopped for two days over its three-year span. Why did it stop? – Both sides of the conflict, the Nigerian government and the breakaway Republic of Biafra, agreed to a cease fire so that it was safe for Pele to enter the country and all Nigerians could watch him play two exhibition matches against local teams.
Trivia #4 answer: How many numbers have been retired by the Boston Red Sox? Bonus: Which of those players have not been elected to the Hall of Fame? (hint: two of them) – 11 (Bobby Doerr – 1, Joe Cronin – 4, Johnny Pesky – 6, Yaz – 8, Ted Williams – 8, Jim Rice – 14, Wade Boggs – 26, Carlton Fisk – 27, David Ortiz – 34, Jackie Robinson – 42, Pedro Martinez – 45) – only Johnny Pesky and David Ortiz are not in the HOF… yet.
Trivia #5 answer: Which is NOT an Olympic sport? – Modern Pentathlon, Trampoline Gymnastics, Sport Climbing, Cycling Mountain Bike, Cycling Road, Cycling Track, Underwater Swimming – Underwater Swimming (not since 1900)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

I’ll be away next week, miss me!

“Now look at them yo-yos, that’s the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and your chicks for free

Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb”

– Dire Straits

Friday, July 30, 2021

Briefly.

Hey Walmart, don’t get pissed at me if I forgot to scan something. You literally gave me zero training before making me a cashier.

Trivia #1: How many notes are there on a standard piano? 66, 88, 92, 99, 112
Trivia #2: In golf, what is 4 under par, on one hole, called? – Pelican, Albatross, Condor, Vulture, Hawk, Canary
Trivia #3: On the website azlyrics.com, where I check on song lyrics below, ZZ Top is second to last alphabetically. What entertainer is last?
Trivia #4: Who is Carissa Moore?

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Basilico’s in Huntington Beach, Orange County, has taken a stand against coronavirus vaccination policies, calling them “treasonous, anti-American stupidity,” in a sign posted outside the business. The California restaurant says it will serve only unvaccinated customers.

I don’t run, I walk. I never liked running and never could, long distances that is. I see runners now out there on the road and, based on their facial expressions, categorize them into three groups – Pain-stricken, delirious, and just plain miserable. NONE look as though they are having fun.

Quote for the week: “I have enough money to last me the rest of my life… unless I buy something.” – Jackie Mason

Look, I love where I live, Haverhill, MA. But for you water/boat/recreational water vehicle people out there, you can have the Merrimack River. Boating, canoeing, kayaking, swimming (ugh!), forget it. Let this sink in, over 500 million gallons of untreated sewage are dumped into the Merrimack each year, 30 million in Haverhill alone.

The MLB pitcher with the most wins regular/post season since 2001, CC Sabathia (261). For that same time frame, most wins by a QB in the NFL, Tom Brady (264).

Thought for the day: One tree makes a million match sticks but only one match is needed to burn a million trees.

Are you excited about the youth of the Red Sox? In Wednesday’s 4-1 win over Toronto in the second game of the double header, the starter was Tanner Houck (25 YO), Garrett Whitlock got the win (25 YO) and all 4 runs were knocked in by Jarren Duran (24 YO) and Rafael Devers (24 YO).

Speaking of Garrett Whitlock, over the past 100 years, through their first 30 games with 50 or more K’s and an ERA under 1.50 – Garrett Whitlock is the only one! (out of 1,001 that qualified)

Speaking of the Red Sox, they acquired slugger Kyle Schwarber last night. I would have preferred another arm.

Growing your own tomatoes is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

The Cleveland Guardians. What exactly are they guarding?

R.I.P. – Dusty Hill (72) – Bassist for the rock band ‘ZZ Top.’ Hill joined the band in 1971 and remained until his death making ZZ Top one of the most stable acts in rock history.
R.I.P. – Jackie Mason (93) – American, multi award winning stand-up comedian

Trivia #1 answer: How many notes are there on a standard piano? 66, 88, 92, 99, 112 – 88
Trivia #2 answer: In golf, what is 4 under par, on one hole, called? – Pelican, Albatross, Condor, Vulture, Hawk, Canary – A condor – (DYK: according to http://www.golf.co.uk there have been 5 recorded condors in history. One of them, on the 517-yard par 5, 9th at Green Valley Ranch Golf Club in Denver CO, Mike Crean scored a hole-in-one for the longest hole-in-one on record. (Hey, I read that on the internet…)
Trivia #3 answer: On the website azlyrics.com, where I check on song lyrics below, ZZ Top is second to last alphabetically. What entertainer is last? – ZZ Ward. Zsuzsanna Eva Ward is a 35-year-old American singer-songwriter. You might recall her 2012 hit, ‘Til the Casket Drops???’
Trivia #4 answer: Who is Carissa Moore? – First-ever, U.S. women’s gold medalist in Olympic surfing (2021)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Rumour spreadin’ a-‘round in that Texas town
‘bout that shack outside La Grange
and you know what I’m talkin’ about.
Just let me know if you wanna go
to that home out on the range
They gotta lotta nice girls.

Have mercy.
A haw, haw, haw, haw, a haw.
A haw, haw, haw.”

– ZZ Top