Author: fasted86

Briefly.

Blonde Woman (to the mechanic): “What do you call that stick to check a car’s oil?”
Mechanic: “Ma’am, I believe you are referring to a dipstick.”
Woman: “Yeah. Do you sell a longer one?”
Mechanic: “A longer one? What do you mean?”
Woman: “Well, mine doesn’t reach anymore.”

Trivia #1: Buds and flowers used for joints, vapes, edibles and concentrates are now 15 to 25% THC. A few decades ago, they were 1 to 2%, 2 to 3%, 3 to 4%, 4 to 5%, 5 to 6%?
Trivia #2: They had a short segment last night about a Green Bay Packer fan who recently put his son’s newborn on the Packers’ season ticket waiting list. Approximately where is the kid on the list? – 11, 12,000, 69,000, 158,000, 211,000, 12,980,000
Trivia #3: Who won the 2023 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 2023)

Go away: Dustin Johnson. He is rallying, as part of group of over 10 LIV Golf players, to negotiate with Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund for severance payouts. The group of players, which also includes Bubba Watson and Thomas Detry, is reportedly seeking more than $100 million. Oh, poor Dustin…

Tonight’s folly is tomorrow’s regret.

On this date: October 30, 637, Antioch surrenders to the Muslim forces under Rashidun Caliphate after the Battle of Iron Bridge
October 30, 1866, Jesse James’ gang robs a bank in Lexington, Missouri ($2000)
October 30, 1873, P.T. Barnum’s circus, “Greatest Show on Earth,” debuts in New York City
October 30, 1938, A radio broadcast of H.G. Wells’ “The War of the Worlds,” narrated by Orson Welles, allegedly causes mass panic
October 30, 1948, 20 people die and 6,000 fall ill due to smog in Donora, Pennsylvania
October 30, 1965, British model Jean Shrimpton causes a sensation at Derby Day at the Melbourne races wearing a white shift dress (four inches above the knee)
October 30, 1970, English metal band Black Sabbath make US concert debut at Glassboro State College in Glassboro, New Jersey; the show was interrupted twice when they blow out the power
October 30, 1974, Muhammad Ali Kos George Foreman in the 8th round in “The Rumble in the Jungle” in Kinshasa, Zaire, regaining the world heavyweight boxing title using the famous “rope-a-dope” tactic
October 30, 2018, WWF conservation group says “exploding human consumption” has caused a 60% decline in all wildlife between 1970 and 2014

Baseball is ova! The Milwaukee Brewers won the franchises’ fist World Series Title. Yawn.

Nothing’s gonna help you more than rock n roll.

Article I’ll skip: Tom Brady romance reportedly tears apart Victoria’s Secret model’s 15-year friendship

A new study shows that nationwide approximately 6 million children are living with a parent who uses cannabis most days. Not only is cannabis use skyrocketing in this country, but parents are increasingly subjecting their children to wafting, intoxicating smoke. The impact starts as early as the womb. Fetal exposure leads to nearly twice the risk of premature birth and a two-and-a-half-times-greater risk of being born underweight or needing immediate medical intervention in the Neonatal ICU.

They said it: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor and catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore, Dream, Discover.” – Mark Twain

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Multiple customers at a Chili’s Grill & Bar reported experiencing chemical burns Wednesday after consuming margaritas that had been prepared with an industrial cleaning chemical that was mistaken for sugar or salt.

Best sign: ‘Please Wait to be Seated’ (I saw this in a restroom)

Trivia #1 answer: Buds and flowers used for joints, vapes, edibles and concentrates are now 15 to 25% THC. A few decades ago, they were 1 to 2%, 2 to 3%, 3 to 4%, 4 to 5%, 5 to 6%? – A few decades ago, they were just 1 to 2% THC.
Trivia #2 answer: They had a short segment last night about a Green Bay Packer fan who recently put his son’s newborn on the Packers’ season ticket waiting list. Approximately where is the kid on the list? – 11, 12,000, 69,000, 158,000, 211,000, 12,980,000 – He is around 158,000
Trivia #3: Who won the 2023 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 2023) – Vegas Golden Knights (NHL), Denver Nuggets (NBA), Texas Rangers (MLB), Kansas /City Chiefs (NFL)

Are you the umbrella or the rain?

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Frankenstein Day! – National Frankenstein Friday, on the last Friday in October, recognizes Frankenstein as one of the best-known horror characters of all time. It’s a day to also honor the author Mary Shelley, the characters she created in the novel.

I was walking down the street yesterday and I was hit by a violin, a clarinet and then a French horn. I think it was an orchestrated attack.

“And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it’s too late”

Black Sabbath (Paranoid)

OK, OK, I’ll slow it down.

She said I’d never get over my obsession with Phil Collins. But, take a look at me now.

Briefly. (Ya, very. For those hoping for an early post… what, you didn’t stay up watching the Patriots/Bears last night?)

Which superhero swings through apple orchards catching criminals with webs? – Cider Man!

Trivia #1: Who is Behren Morton?
Trivia #2: Who is Bear Bachmeier?
Trivia #3: Who holds the record for the highest altitude field goal in history?

On this date: October 23, 42 BC, Second Battle of Philippi: Brutus’s army is decisively defeated by Mark Antony and Octavian during the Roman Republican civil wars causing Brutus to fall on his sword
October 23, 1694, American colonial forces, led by Sir William Phipps, fail to seize Quebec
October 23, 1814, One of the first modern plastic surgeries in the West is performed by Joseph Carpue on a soldier’s nose in England using Indian techniques
October 23, 1915, First national horseshoe throwing championship in Kellerton, Iowa
October 23, 1923, A US patent (No. 1471465) is issued to American inventor Sebastian Hinton for a playground climbing structure popularly known as “monkey bars”
October 23, 1958, The Springhill Mine Bump – underground earthquake traps 174 miners in No. 2 colliery at Springhill, Nova Scotia, deepest coal mine in North America. By 1st November rescuers had dug out 100 victims, with death toll at 74.
October 23, 1972, “I’m Still in Love with You” 5th studio album by Al Green is released (Billboard Album of the Year 1973)
October 23, 1978, Punk rock singer Sid Vicious attempts suicide while at Riker’s Detention Center in NYC
October 23,2018, Freddie Mercury bio film “Bohemian Rhapsody” directed by Bryan Singer, starring Rami Malek (Best Actor Academy Awards 2019) premieres in London – what a great flick!

So, the World Series begins tonight with two teams that have never won a Championship. I don’t know about you, but I don’t give two hoots about who wins. I guess I’ll root against the Red Sox’ division rival. Yawn.

Article I’ll skip: Enes Kanter unloads on LeBron James and the NBA following WNBA confrontation (I have zero patience for such crap)

Useless fact: “Burger” backwards is Scooby-Doo offering to give you a leg massage

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A change of cities did not bring a change in the Atlanta Dream and Golden State Valkyries’ national anthem routine. Both teams were off the court during the anthem before Game 3 of the WNBA Finals on Wednesday night at State Farm Arena, marking their third straight absence despite a provision in the league’s own rulebook calling for players to stand and line up during the performance.

Not only did the WNBS playoffs begin, the finals are underway!

How many school field trips actually end up in a field?

Speaking of basketball, the Celtics opened the other day. A Tuesday afternoon (3pm, EST). Huh? It’s a good thing that I don’t work and could watch it. Conclusion: Both teams took a lot of 3-point shots.

Trivia #1 answer: Who is Behren Morton? – He is the New England Patriots’ emergency third string quarterback.
Trivia #2 answer: Who is Bear Bachmeier? – He is the starting quarterback for BYU. What a great football name!
Trivia #3 answer: Who holds the record for the highest altitude field goal in history? – Adam Vinatieri made a field goal from a height of 11,332 feet above sea level in the Swiss Alps a few weeks ago. (This easily could have been filed under “Useless Information”)

Are you the umbrella or the rain?

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Mole Day!

“I got a certain little girl, she’s on my mind
No doubt about it, she looks so fine
She’s the best girl that I ever had
Sometimes she’s gonna make me feel so bad”

Deep Purple (Hush)

Briefly. (It’s nice to sleep in, now and again)

I avoid shit because my temper can go from zero to life in prison in about 2 seconds.

Trivia #1: What is the name for a photographic process employing an iodine-sensitized silvered plate and mercury vapor?
Trivia #2: The song “Diamonds & Rust” (Joan Baez) was about Baez’ relationship with whom? – Bob Dylan, Barry White, Elvis Presley, Al Green, Paul Simon, Roy Orbison
Trivia #3: Last Sunday, Jayden Daniels scored on runs of 38 and 26 yards. Who was the last starting quarterback to score 2 TDs from 25-plus yards in the same game? – Patrick Mahomes, Michael Vick, Lamar Jackson, Josh Allen, Colin Kaepernick, Jeff Garcia, Taysom Hill

On this date: October 16, 456, Magister militum Ricimer defeats the Emperor Avitus at Piacenza and becomes master of the western Roman Empire
October 16, 1839, Joseph Saxton, a machine inspector at the US Mint, takes the first daguerreotype photograph in the US of the Central High School building in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
October 16, 1848, First US homeopathic medical college opens in Pennsylvania
October 16, 1962, Cuban Missile Crisis begins as US President John F. Kennedy is shown photos confirming the presence of Soviet missiles in Cuba
October 16, 1967, Joan Baez and 123 other anti-draft protesters are arrested in Oakland, California
October 16, 1986, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards organizes a concert celebrating rock and roll legend Chuck Berry’s 60th birthday at the Fox Theatre in St. Louis, Missouri; performers include Richards, Berry, Johnnie Johnson, Eric Clapton, Etta James, Linda Ronstadt, Robert Cray, and Julian Lennon, among others
October 16, 1992, Gilligan’s Island TV pilot, filmed in 1963, is first shown on TV (TBS) – Ginger or Maryann???
October 16, 2019, First plant-powered selfie taken by Pete the Fern as part of research into the use of microbial fuel cells at London Zoo, London, England

Job interviewer: “I see on your resume that you sent to Harvard.”
Me: “I did… for my cousin’s graduation ceremony.”

Don’t forget to visit! A Texas woman convicted of killing a college student in a drunken-driving crash was sentenced to seven years in prison. State District Judge Jennifer Balido also ordered Pollis to serve 10 years of probation following her release from prison, including 15 days in jail annually.

Article I’ll skip: Guess which “Yellowstone” star hasn’t spoken to Kevin Costner since leaving the show

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The New England Patriots averaged 12 points per game in Weeks 1-3. (In weeks 4-5, they averaged a league-best 37 points per game)

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Some Americans are crying poverty with a $1,500 iPhone in one hand and an $8 Starbucks latte in the other. They say groceries are unaffordable, but somehow the restaurants are packed, airports are crowded, and the neighbor just pulled into his driveway with a brand-new $90,000 SUV. Apparently, we’re one bad economic report away from bankruptcy and one Instagram post away from booking another trip to Cabo. Consumer confidence is in the basement. Consumer spending apparently didn’t get the memo.

Go out today and be the best version of yourself… unless you’re a jerk.

Trivia #1 answer: What is the name for a photographic process employing an iodine-sensitized silvered plate and mercury vapor? – Daguerreotype (Come on, I handed it to you)
Trivia #2 answer: The song “Diamonds & Rust” (Joan Baez) was about Baez’ relationship with whom? – Bob Dylan, Barry White, Elvis Presley, Al Green, Paul Simon, Roy Orbison – Bob Dylan
Trivia #3: Last Sunday, Jayden Danielsscored on runs of 38 and 26 yards. Who was the last starting quarterback to score 2 TDs from 25-plus yards in the same game? – Patrick Mahomes, Mi9chael Vick, Lamar Jackson, Josh Allen, Colin Kaepernick, Jeff Garcia, Taysom Hill – Michael Vick (2002)

My sister thinks she’s so smart, she said Onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at her.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Grouch Day! (Though some of you seem to “celebrate” this every day)

“There’s a place up ahead, and I’m goin’
Just as fast as my feet can fly
Come away, come away if you’re goin’
Leave the sinkin’ ship behind”

Creedence Clearwater Revival (Up Around The Bend)

Diamonds & Rust (Joan Baez)

Super Bonus (For you (us) guitar fans)

Briefly. (As some of you like to point out, I do my best proofreading after I post. Thank you very much!)

A man was injured while playing peek-a-boo. He’s currently in the ICU.

Trivia #1: What year featured the first night game in World Series history? – No multiple choice
Trivia #2: Who holds the record for at-bats in a single ALCS (36)? – Ricky Henderson, Jose Altuve, Bernie Williams, Manny Ramirez, Johnny Damon
Trivia #3: What singer was called the “Empress of the Blues?” – Bessie Smith, Eva Taylor, Edith Wilson, Ma Rainey, Mildred Bailey
Trivia #4: Invented by Douglas Engelbart in 1963, the first computer mouse was made from what material?
Trivia #5: On November 1^st, The Guinness Open Gate Brewery in Halethorpe, Maryland, just outside Baltimore, will soon close. That leaves just one U.S. location with a Guinness brewery. Where is it located? (I guess if you know it, you know it)

On this date: October 9, 768, Charlemagne and his brother Carloman I are both crowned King of the Franks
October 9, 1410, Earliest mention of Prague’s astronomical clock, the world’s oldest still in operation, built by Mikuláš of Kadaň and Jan Šindel
October 9, 1665, Drivers of death carts in London would go street-to-street extolling people to “bring out your dead” at the height of the London plague outbreak in 1665
October 9, 1855, American inventor Isaac Singer patents the sewing machine
October 9, 1941, US President Franklin D. Roosevelt approves an atomic program that would become the Manhattan Project
October 9, 1988, Dennis Eckersley is the first to save all four games in a championship series
October 9, 2022, Brightest cosmic explosion ever seen: a gamma-ray burst 2.4 billion light-years away, believed to be a massive star collapsing to form a black hole in a 1-in-10,000-year event – Editor’s note: “…believed to be …” Ya, OK

Go away: The Yankees’ Aaron Judge. Judge, who played as many innings for the New York Yankees as I did this postseason, sent the front office a clear message after Wednesday’s ALDS loss to the Tampa Bay Rays …”We’re the Yankees. I feel like they [the front office] should go all-in and do what they need to do. If we’ve got holes, if it’s finding certain players or personnel, whatever we need, you’ve got to go out there and get it.” Hey, here’s an idea, Aaron. How about they bring in some guys who can actually get on the field to help?!

Stop complaining: Unless you are in the path of hurricane Isaias. If you are, best of luck to you and yours.

Well, the Red Sox season is over but, so is the Yankees’. I find peace in that.

DYK: Nearly half of Americans spend less than two hours outdoors in an entire week!

Article I’ll skip: Numbers reveal what (Caitlin) Clark’s absence means for the WNBA playoff viewership

Honeymoon, you’re doing it wrong. An Iranian anti-regime protester was hanged at dawn Oct. 5 inside Isfahan Central Prison, just hours after marrying his imprisoned fiancée over a jail phone line.

Good news: Just a couple of weeks ago, the New England Patriots’ Mack Hollins welcomed more than 100 Special Olympics athletes from Lynn, Boston and Hockomock for an unforgettable Unified Game Day! Athletes had a chance to learn from, play alongside and hang out with Hollins and other players from the Patriots, creating plenty of big plays and even bigger memories together.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Meta launched Muse, its new AI agent, earlier this month — and it’s already claiming to help some consumers save money. At the 2026 Meta Connect conference, Meta Chief AI Officer Alexandr Wang spoke about Muse’s ability to shop for products online, manage travel plans, save money on insurance costs, negotiate utility bills, and more. Now, he’s challenging people to use Muse to save them $1,000 in what he’s dubbed the #MuseMoneyChallenge on X. With the agent’s help, users can do everything from create a budget to cancel unused subscriptions. I’ll admit, I’m intrigued.

Go out today and be the best version of yourself… unless you’re a jerk.

Trivia #1 answer: What year featured the first night game in World Series history? – 1971
Trivia #2 answer: Who holds the record for at-bats in a single ALCS (36)? – Ricky Henderson, Jose Altuve, Bernie Williams, Manny Ramirez, Johnny Damon – Bernie Williams in 2004.
Trivia #3: What singer was called the “Empress of the Blues?” – Bessie Smith, Eva Taylor, Edith Wilson, Ma Rainey, Mildred Bailey – Bessie Smith
Trivia #4 answer: Invented by Douglas Engelbart in 1963, the first computer mouse was made from what material? – It was made from wood
Trivia #5 answer: On November 1^st, The Guinness Open Gate Brewery in Halethorpe, Maryland, just outside Baltimore, will soon close. That leaves just one U.S. location with a Guinness brewery. Where is it located? (I guess if you know it, you know it) – Chicago, IL

I’m not saying that I’m the glue that holds this shit-show together. But I am saying that I’m the only one who knows where the glue is.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Moldy Cheese Day!

“Hail (Hail), what’s the matter with your head, yeah
Hail (Hail), what’s the matter with your mind
And your sign an-a, oh-oh-oh
Hail (Hail), nothin’ the matter with your head
Baby find it, come on and find it
Hail, with it, baby, ’cause you’re fine
And you’re mine, and you look so divine”

Redbone (Come And Get Your Love)

Briefly.

I recently opened a company selling trampolines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

Trivia #1: Who was the first MLB player to achieve 200 hits and 100 walks in four consecutive seasons?
Trivia #2: The Chicago Cubs’ Pete Crow-Armstrong just became the 7^th player to join MLB’s 40-40 Club (40 homeruns, 40 stolen bases). How many of the other 6 can you name?
Trivia #3: What is the nickname of Williams College athletic teams?

On this date: September 25, 303, On a voyage preaching the gospel, Saint Fermin of Pamplona is beheaded in Amiens, France
September 25, 1237, Treaty of York is signed between Kings Henry III of England and Alexander II of Scotland, establishing a boundary between the two countries that remains mostly unchanged in modern times
September 25, 1780, American army officer Benedict Arnold defects to the British
September 25, 1789, The First U.S. Congress proposes the ​Bill of Rights​, a set of amendments to the constitution guaranteeing essential liberties, including freedom of speech, freedom of the press, and the right to peaceful assembly
September 25, 1890, Sequoia National Park is established by US President Benjamin Harrison as California’s first national park and the country’s second
September 25, 1911, Groundbreaking for Fenway Park begins in Boston
September 25, 1926, Henry Ford announces an 8-hour, 5-day workweek for workers at Ford Motor Company
September 25, 1976, Bono, David Evans, his brother Dik, and Adam Clayton respond to an advertisement on a bulletin board at Mount Temple posted by fellow student Larry Mullen Jr. to form a rock band, which becomes U2
September 25, 1980, Comedian Chevy Chase calls Cary Grant a homo on the “Tomorrow” show; a $10 million defamation lawsuit follows and is settled out of court for an undisclosed sum
September 25, 2000, American basketball player Vince Carter steals the ball and jumps over 7 foot 2 inch Frédéric Weis at the 2000 Summer Olympics, known in France as “le dunk de la mort” (the dunk of death) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WihbbVEmppI
September 25, 2017, American rockers TomPetty and the Heartbreakers end their 40th Anniversary Tour with a concert at the Hollywood Bowl in Hollywood, California, in what becomes Tom Petty’s final performance; the last song played is their early hit “American Girl”

You pity the moth confusing a lamp for the moon. Yet here you are confusing a screen for the world.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Green Bay Packers won 14 straight home openers… until last night’s 35-14 blowout loss to the Falcons.

Article I’ll skip: Dark words haunted ‘American Idol’ alum’s affair, mistress testifies through tears

Don’t be that guy: Use your directional.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A Pittsburgh children’s hospital doctor was stabbed to death and his wife critically injured after a man allegedly entered their home and attacked the couple as they slept early Thursday. Police identified 32-year-old Elijah Hemingway of Pittsburgh as the suspect. Evans’ wife told investigators that they awoke to a man attacking them in bed with a kitchen knife. She said the attacker was wearing only underwear and uttered about “being God.”

We didn’t know what gluten was, and we turned out just fine… except for Larry. Larry ate crayons.

Trivia #1 answer: Who was the first MLB player to achieve 200 hits and 100 walks in four consecutive seasons? – Wade Boggs (1986-1989)
Trivia #2 answer: The Chicago Cubs’ Pete Crow-Armstrong just became the 7^th player to join MLB’s 40-40 Club (40 homeruns, 40 stolen bases). How many of the other 6 can you name? – Jose Canseco (1988), Barry Bonds (1996), Alex Rodriguez (1998), Alfonso Soriano (2006), Ronald Acuna Jr. (2023), Shohei Ohtani (2024)
Trivia #3: What is the nickname of Williams College athletic teams? – The Ephs. The name “Ephs” rhymes with “chiefs” and is a shortened form of founder Ephraim Williams.

The Lord said to John; “Come forth and you shall receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Get more music into your life. Do it!

Happy National Quesadilla Day!

“If you twist and turn away
If you tear yourself in two again
If I could, yes I would
If I could, I would let it go
Surrender, dislocate

If I could throw this lifeless lifeline to the wind
Leave this heart of clay, see you walk, walk away
Into the night, and through the rain
Into the half light and through the flame

U2 (Bad)

Bonus – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

Briefly. (Well actually, the longest one I’ve put together in quite a while. I hope you enjoy.)

Siri, how is it that I always miss it with women?
Ahhh, this is Alexa…

Trivia #1: What’s the only division in the NFL that features four teams that have all selected quarterbacks with the No. 1 overall pick at some point in the Super Bowl era?
Trivia #2: What team tied their franchise record with nine homeruns in a game this week on August 31^th and, at the same time, set the NL record for homeruns in one month with 62?
Trivia $3: On the Periodic Table, what does the symbol ‘ER’ represent?
Trivia #4: Which was NOT a member of the rock band ‘Buffalo Springfield’ – David Crosby, Neil Young, Richie Furay, Dewey Martin, Stephen Stills, Bruce Palmer

On this date: September 4, 476, Romulus Augustulus, the last Western Roman Emperor, abdicates after forces led by Odoacer invade Rome, the traditional date for the end of the Western Roman Empire
September 4, 1609, Navigator Henry Hudson is the first European to discover the island of Manhattan
September 4, 1807, Robert Fulton begins operating scheduled passenger service on his steamboat between New York and Albany
September 4, 1862, General Lee begins the Maryland Campaign, invading the North with 50,000 Confederate troops (U.S. Civil War)
September 4, 1886, Apache Chief Geronimo surrenders, ending the last major US-Indian war
September 4, 1920, Man o’ War wins the 1 5/8-mile Lawrence Realization Stakes at Belmont Park by 100 lengths, the largest winning margin in modern thoroughbred racing history, with a world record time of 2:40.8
September 4, 1950, NAZCAR’s first paved superspeedway, Darlington Raceway, hosts the Southern 500, the first 500-mile event in NAZCAR history; Johnny Mantz wins in a Plymouth
September 4, 1972, US 4 x 100 m medley relay team of Mike Stamm, Tom Bruce, Mark Spitz, and Jerry Heidenreich sets a world record of 3:48.16 to win gold at the Munich Olympics; Mark Spitz becomes the first athlete to win seven Olympic gold medals at a single Games
September 4, 1991, Gus Van Sant’s film “My Own Private Idaho,” starring Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix, premieres at the 48th Venice International Film Festival
September 4, 1993, MLB New York Yankees one-handed pitcher Jim Abbott no-hits Cleveland Indians 4-0 at Yankee Stadium
September 4, 2002, After blowing an 11-run lead to Kansas City, Scott Hatteberg’s bottom of the 9th walk-off home run gives Oakland a historic MLB victory, 12-11; A’s set an AL record 20-game winning streak (What??? You never watched the movie “Moneyball?”)
September 4, 2018, FBI announces it has recovered a pair of Dorothy’s ruby slippers from “The Wizard of Oz,” stolen 13 years earlier

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The National Football League announced plans to elevate the Pro Bowl presented by Verizon selection as one of the league’s most meaningful individual honors, recognizing exclusively the very best players from each NFL season. Beginning with the 2026 season, 88 players will comprise the official Pro Bowl presented by Verizon class, with no replacement selections. As part of that focus, the NFL will no longer stage an AFC vs. NFC Pro Bowl game. Instead, the league will place greater emphasis on the moment a player is selected, the recognition that accompanies that distinction and bringing the Pro Bowl presented by Verizon class together to celebrate the achievement.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: A record 15 rookies have hit homeruns this season in their first-ever MLB plate appearance.

Article I’ll skip: Deadly mosquito-borne virus claims first life in major US city as cases spread

Fall down, go boom! More than 14 million older adults fall every year in the U.S., perhaps none so often as 91-year-old Dale “Grey Beard” Sanders. By his count, Sanders fell 71 times while reclaiming his record as the oldest hiker to complete the Appalachian Trail. Six were what he calls hard falls, including one that led to a brief hospitalization and another just 200 yards from the finish. But none were enough to permanently divert him from the 2,193-mile (3,530-kilometer) trail that runs between Springer Mountain in Georgia and Mount Katahdin in Maine.

Don’t be that guy: Don’t spit on the putting green.

By this time next week, the Patriots will have played their season opener versus the Seahawks in a rematch of last season’s Super Bowl. Personally, I can’t wait for football!

Speaking of which, a full college slate began last night and runs through Sunday night.

Go Irish!

September… football… good! Nearing the end of summer… bad.

Staying within the salary-cap, you’re doing it wrong. The NBA stripped five first-round draft picks from the Los Angeles Clippers, fined owner Steve Ballmer $30 million and suspended key executives after a yearlong investigation found that the team circumvented salary-cap rules in connection with Kawhi Leonard. Ouch!

Bad news: Tiger Woods is losing his license for 5 years. Good news: He was cleared to drive a golf cart. Really.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Zoox announced that its driverless robotaxis will begin transporting passengers to and from Harry Reid International Airport in Las Vegas, marking the company’s first airport service. The Amazon-owned company said that, beginning Thursday, riders can book trips between Harry Reid International Airport and the Las Vegas Strip. The robotaxis use lights and audio cues to help riders locate them in busy pickup areas. The vehicles seat four passengers and feature carriage-style seating, with two rows facing each other. The company said there is enough room for roughly one piece of luggage per person if the vehicle is full.

It’s better to burn out, than to fade away.

Trivia #1 answer: What’s the only division in the NFL that features four teams that have all selected quarterbacks with the No. 1 overall pick at some point in the Super Bowl era? – The AFC South: The Colts have made four such picks. The others are Trevor Lawrence (Jaguars), Cam Ward (Titans), David Carr (Texans)
Trivia #2 answer: What team tied their franchise record with nine homeruns in a game on August 31^th and, at the same time, set the NL record for homeruns in one month with 62? – The Chicago Cub(bies)
Trivia #3 answer: On the Periodic Table, what does the symbol ‘ER’ represent? – Erbia – It has a pink color and is used to color glass and glazes.
Trivia #4 answer: Which was NOT a member of the rock band ‘Buffalo Springfield’ – David Crosby, Neil Young, Richie Furay, Dewey Martin, Stephen Stills, Bruce Palmer – David Crosby was not a member

The Lord said to John; “Come forth and you shall receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Chianti Day!

“There’s battle lines being drawn
Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong
Young people speaking’ their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind

It’s time we stop
Hey, what’s that sound?
Everybody look – what’s going down?”

Buffalo Springfield (For What’s It Worth)

Bonus – B’52’s (Private Idaho)

 Briefly. (I’ve got “stuff” to do)

The word “retard” is not meant for people with handicaps. It is meant for non-handicapped people who are stupid. If you don’t understand this then you are a retard.

Trivia #1: What is a Marechal Foch?
Trivia #2: If you know anything about the Hartford Whalers (former NHL team) then you know Ron Francis is the leading scorer in franchise history with 821 points. Who is #2 with 503 points?

On this date: August 28, 475, Roman general Orestes forces western Roman Emperor Julius Nepos to flee his capital city, Ravenna, now seen as the end of the Roman Empire in the West
August 28, 1859, A geomagnetic storm causes the Aurora Borealis to shine so brightly that it is seen clearly over parts of the USA, Europe, and even as far afield as Japan
August 28, 1898, Caleb Bradham renames his carbonated soft drink “Pepsi-Cola” – (Editor’s note: I’m a Coke guy, not a Pepsi guy. You?)
August 28, 1907, United Parcel Service is founded by James E. Casey in Seattle, Washington
August 28, 1916, Germany declares war on Romania; Italy declares war on Germany. (Ya, take that!)
August 28, 1918, MLB Cleveland Indians outfielder Tris Speaker is suspended for the season due to an assault on umpire Tom Connolly
August 28, 1955, Chicago black teenager Emmett Till is kidnapped, beaten and shot dead by white men in Money Mississippi; his killers are eventually acquitted, but the case helps ignite the US civil rights movement.
August 28, 1973, Tamla/Motown releases “Let’s Get It On,” the 13^th studio album by Marvin Gaye
August 28, 1983, Joseph Kreckman sets a record of 2,215 clay pigeons shot in an hour
August 28, 1995, Northants 7-781 declared defeat Nottinghamshire 527 and 157. (Wait… what?)
August 28, 2018, Aretha Franklin lies in state at the Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History in Detroit in a 24-karat gold coffin

Fun fact: “A nut for a jar of tuna” spelled backwards is “A nut for a jar of tuna.”

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Florida is becoming the first state to impose sweeping new limits on how welfare cash can be spent, blocking recipients from using cash-assistance benefits loaded onto EBT cards for purchases like tattoos, theme park tickets, video games, vaping products and other items not generally considered “basic needs.” – (How is it that I’m shocked this was/is happening in the first place?? Silly me.)

Don’t be that guy: Please don’t scrape the corn with a knife when eating corn-on-the-cob. Pick it up and eat it like a neanderthal. Eat it row-by-row or turn it as you eat, but no utensils, please.

Stop complaining: Rescue teams are now searching for the more than 1,300 people who went missing during the floods along the Nepal-China border. Many of them were foreigners and pilgrims. The catastrophic floods in Nepal and Tibet that have killed at least 273 people were triggered by a massive glacier collapse and debris flow that registered as a magnitude 5.2 landslide. Hydrological observations indicate the exceptional speed and magnitude of the flood wave. At one point, the water levels on the Trishuli River rose by as much as 27 feet in just a half hour. Wowza!

Whoddua thunk the Red Sox/Yankees series this weekend would be a thing 10 weeks ago? Bring it on!

Yankees suck!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: When renewing my truck’s registration online and paying with a credit card, the maximum  payment allowed is $999,999.

Article I’ll skip: Jaxson Dart’s social media star girlfriend is turning into a fashion muse

R.I.P. – Dolly Rebecca Parton Dean (80) – an American singer-songwriter, actress and businesswoman. Dubbed the “Queen of Country”, Parton was one of the most honored performers of country music in history, earning eleven Grammy Awards and three Emmy Awards, as well as nominations for two Academy Awards, six Golden Globes and a Tony Award. She was also known for her cultural influence  and Philanthropy via Dolllywood and the Dollywood Foundation. With more than 100 million records sold, Parton is among the best-selling music artists of all time.

Trivia #1 answer: What is a Marechal Foch? – An inter-specific hybrid French red wine grape variety. It was developed at the Oberlin Institute in Colmar-Alsace, at the beginning of the 20th century, then known as Kuhlmann 188-2, by Eugène Kuhlmann.
Trivia #2 answer: If you know anything about the Hartford Whalers (former NHL team) then you know Ron Francis is the leading scorer in franchise history with 821 points. Who is #2 with 503 points? – Kevin Dineen (followed by Pat Verbeek (403), Blain Stoughton (377) and Geoff Sanderson (352)).

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Red Wine Day! (Ya, baby! I’ll drink to that!)

Good news: Researches say dogs can detect prostate cancer.
Bad news: It’s really hard to get a dog to wear a rubber glove.

“I’ve been really trying, baby
Trying to hold back this feeling for so long
And if you feel like I feel, baby
Then come on, oh, come on, ooh

Let’s get it on, ow, baby
Let’s get it on, let’s love, baby
Let’s get it on, sugar
Let’s get it on, woo”

Marvin Gaye (Let’s Get It On)

Bonus! – Bad Company (Shooting Star) – It just happened to be “in my head.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWkpenUniVg&list=RDQWkpenUniVg&index=1