Friday, June 11, 2021

Briefly.

I will paint a house with a Q-tip before I worry about why you aren’t speaking to me.

Trivia #1: Adam Vinatieri is the all-time NFL kicking leader in field goals (599) and points (2,673) and is second in regular season games played. Who is second in those first two categories and who is first in the last?
Trivia #2: What was the result of Adam Vinatieri’s last field attempt of his career? – Blocked and returned for a touchdown, wide left, good from 51 yards, wide right, good from 37 yards
Trivia #3: Who is the only New England Patriot since 1987 with: Combined tackles > 1,000, Sacks > 30 and Interceptions > 10?

Research shows that NBA player injuries were up after the condensed ’20-’21 season. Well, I did my own research and it showed that they are all just pussies.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A contestant on The Wheel of Fortune read this – THE N_XT GENER_T__N and guessed “THE NEXT BUTTERCUP” – Now, I’m not saying the guy is stupid, I just think he has bad luck when it comes to thinking.

If they are called “scissors” then why isn’t he called “Edward Scissorshands?”

It’s still good to be a Boston sports fan. Win totals in the past 20 regular and post season: Patriots (#1 in the NFL), Red Sox (#3 in MLB), Bruins (#3 in the NHL), Celtics (#3 in the NBA).

Top seed East Catholic High (CT) will play for the Class M championship tomorrow afternoon. East Catholic is led by MLB draft candidate Frank Mozzicato who has a current 42 1/3 inning scoreless streak. Last Saturday he had his 30 1/3 inning hitless streak snapped. He has struck out 113 batters in 46 2/3 innings and has a 0.21 ERA. He is committed to UConn.

Julio Jones is overrated, period. Not worth the price, says me.

Article I will not read: Did You Know Your Body Is Full of Toxins?

After last night’s game the Red Sox are 34-3 when scoring 4 or more runs.

The NBA playoffs are still going on, apparently.

The Mets’ Jake Degrom is having a historic season… or is he. On April 28 he tied Nolan Ryan for the most strikeouts through five starts (59). He currently has 93 K’s in 58 innings and his ERA is 0.62. His 2021 season is already being compared to the legendary Bob Gibson’s 1968 season. However, Degrom is ensnared in a league-wide scandal involving the doctoring of baseballs. He is being accused of cheating, period. I hate that crap. As coach Herman Boone (Remember the Titans) said: “Cheater!”

Quote for the week: My source is weak but the quote is classic. After David Pastrnak’s goal to give the Bruins a 1-0 lead in game 5 against the Islanders, “one” of the color commentators came out with this gem; “That’s hockey, Johnny!” (Am I the only who thinks that is hilarious?)
Quote for the week, part deux: “I don’t scratch my head unless it itches and I don’t dance unless I hear music.” – Coach Herman Boone

The World Bank on Tuesday said it expects the global economy to rebound by the fastest pace in 80 years, although many of the world’s emerging and developing economies will continue to face an uphill battle through the recovery.

Speaking of the Bruins… there will be no Bruins/Canadiens Stanley Cup playoff. What a disappointing end to the season. Tuukka may be on his way out but a good deal of the blame should fall on the coaching staff.

Speaking of coaching staffs… when is someone going to take the fall for the Yankees historically poor start to this season? While manager Aaron Boone insists that the Bombers will emerge from their malaise and turn things around, after 60 games, things are not going well, at all. The yanks are 14th in the AL in runs, 12th in batting average and 13th in slugging, their .228 batting average and 7.4 hits per game are their lowest since 1968. They have grounded into 0.97 double plays per game, highest in the majors. Their 3.71 runs per game are their lowest since 1972.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Fingernails grow three times faster than toenails.

Sayonara Adam Vinatieri who, at age 48, is retiring from the NFL as the all-time leading scorer. (Remember that first Super Bowl win in 2002?!)

R.I.P. Dante Coppola (76) – Former Haverhill police officer, Vietnam veteran, proud father, proud grandfather, active Garibaldi Club member, all-around great guy.

Trivia #1 answer: Adam Vinatieri is the all-time NFL kicking leader in field goals (599) and points (2,673) and is second in regular season games played. Who is second in those first two categories and who is first in the last? – Morten Anderson is the answer to both
Trivia #2 answer: What was the result of Adam Vinatieri’s last field attempt of his career? – Blocked and returned for a touchdown, wide left, good from 51 yards, wide right, blocked and recovered, good from 37 yards – Blocked and returned for a touchdown
Trivia #3 answer: Who is the only New England Patriot since 1987 with: Combined tackles > 1,000, Sacks > 30 and Interceptions > 10? – Tedy Bruschi

Be careful out there.

“At the ‘Copa, Copacabana…” – just kidding

“Mother, mother
There’s too many of you crying
Brother, brother, brother
There’s far too many of you dying
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some lovin’ here today”

– Marvin Gaye

Friday, June 4, 2021

Briefly.

My friend David had his ID stolen. Now he’s just Dav.

AOC was called out last weekend for saying “Enjoy your long weekend” without acknowledging why we even celebrate the long weekend. Last Friday in my blog, though related more to COVID restrictions lightening up, I said virtually the same thing. So… let me say here that I meant no disrespect to the men and women who have served and are serving our great country. Thank you.

Trivia #1: Three players in NBA history have more 50-point games than Jason Tatum at 23-years old or younger in reg/post/play-in season games. Tatum has four such games. Name the players, bonus if you get them in order.
Trivia #2: What does ‘ROYGBIV’ represent?
Trivia #3: Former Utah Jazz great, Mark Eaton (64), died tragically on Saturday in an apparent bicycling accident. Eaton is fifth all-time in career blocks with 3,064. What four players have had more blocks?
Trivia #4: (just as difficult as #3) – What NBA player besides Mark Eaton is in the top ten in career blocks and not in the Hall of Fame?
Trivia #5: (one more ‘blocks’ question) – Who is the active leader in career blocked shots?

What a series going on between the Islanders and Bruins!

Dr. Fauci, please go away.

The weather this past weekend stunk here in New England and I watched a fair amount of baseball on TV – (Red Sox, college WS, softball, too). I love the game of baseball. After all is said and done, it is my sport. And while most of us have good memories of sports, many different sports in many different aspects (playing, watching, coaching) I’ll admit this: Baseball played in the cold rain sucks, period. Other sports can be tolerable, but I’ve practiced, played, coached and watched baseball in the cold, in the rain and both. Those memories are not good.

Hold on folks, prices are rising! U.S. consumer prices in April were up about 3.1% compared with February 2020, the month before the pandemic shutdown the economy. Data published last Friday showed a separate measure of inflation surging 3.6% last month, and underlying inflation excluding volatile gas and food prices gaining 3.1%, its largest annual increase since 1992.

As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th season, I would like to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.

Please, can someone explain why the National Anthem singers at sporting events still wear masks.

There was a car race last weekend. The cars went wicked fast. One car drove faster than all of the others.

If you know someone looking for a “bacon tester”… just sayin’.

Did you see Jordan Spieth nearly fall into the bunker on the 15th hole last weekend? I’m playing in a tournament today and expect nothing less out there.

Speaking of golf, what for it! I see it happen in the PGA all the time. After the round on the 18th green, a player removes his hat and runs his fingers through his sweaty hair, with his right hand! He then reaches out to shake hands. Sometimes the recipient retaliates with a fist-pump, other times unsuspectingly gets the “sweaty handshake.” Ewwww!

Tarzan is dead! Joe Lara, who was known for playing Tarzan in the early 1990’s television series ‘Tarzan: The Epic Adventures’ died Saturday in a plane crash over Tennessee with his wife, Gwen, and five other people. He was 58 years old.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: David Pastrnak scored the first goal by a Bruin with attendance at full capacity this past Saturday night and the last goal by a Bruin with attendance at full capacity (3/7/20).

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: NYT columnist Kate Murphy suggested that people curate their social circles by weeding out people who appear depressed, are obese, or engage in legal vices like smoking or drinking. Those friends, she said, make a person more likely to engage in said vices or to become overweight or depressed themselves.

I’ve always wondered if songbirds get mad at hummingbirds for not knowing the words.

R.I.P. Mark Eaton (64) – see above

Trivia #1 answer: Three players in NBA history have more 50-point games than Jason Tatum at 23-years old or younger in reg/post/play-in season games. Name them, bonus if you get them in order. – Rick Barry (8), Wilt Chamberlain (7), LeFraud James (5)
Trivia #2 answer: What does ‘ROYGBIV’ represent? – The colors of the rainbow – Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet (DYK: In Ireland, a new method to remember the colours of the rainbow has been launched in schools; “Respect Others You Grow By Including Variety)
Trivia #3: Former Utah Jazz great, Mark Eaton (64), died tragically on Saturday in an apparent bicycling accident. Eaton is fifth all-time in career blocks with 3,064. What four players have had more blocks? – Artis Gilmore (3,178), Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (3,189), Dikembe Mutombo (3,289) and Hakeem Olajuwon (3,830)
Trivia #4: (just as difficult as #3) – What NBA player besides Mark Eaton is in the top ten in career blocks and not in the Hall of Fame? – Tree Rollins (#10 with 2,542 blocks)
Trivia #5: (one more ‘blocks’ question) – Who is the active leader in career blocked shots? – Dwight Howard (15th – 2,192)

Be careful out there.

“When sadness fills my days
It’s time to turn away
And then tomorrow’s dreams
Become reality to me”

– Black Sabbath

Friday, May 28, 2021

Briefly.

Telling your luggage there will be no vacation this year can be tough. Emotional baggage is the worst!

Trivia #1: Who is the lead guitarist on David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance?”
Trivia #2: How many times has John Daly made the cut at the PGA Championship since his victory in 1991? – 0, 1, 2, 6, 9, 12, 15, 28
Trivia #3: Food Network icon Guy Fieri recently signed a contract extension for three years, $80 million. Where would that salary put him on the list of top NFL salaries in terms of AAV (average annual salary)? – 1st, 2nd, 7th, 10th, 15th, 25th, 33rd, 90th

Congratulations to 50-year-old Phil “Lefty” Mickelson who became the oldest player ever to win a major on the PGA tour when he won last weekend’s PGA Championship at Kiawah Island, SC. What a scene around the 18th green on Sunday!

Quote for the week: “I’ve failed many times in my life and career and because of this I’ve learned a lot. Instead of feeling defeated countless times, I’ve used it as fuel to drive me to work harder. So today, join me in accepting our failures. Let’s use them to motivate us to work even harder.” – Phil Mickelson, two weeks before his recent PGA Championship.

Speaking of the PGA Championship, John “Wild Thing” Daly was tied atop the leaderboard last weekend, albeit for a brief moment. Daly chipped in from the bunker on the 1st hole and must have been felling pretty good. Them the wheels immediately fell of the cart with double bogeys on the 3rd and 4th holes. Daly went on to record a +27 score of 97.

A square is a rectangle. A rectangle is not a square.

Did you happen to see Toronto Maple Leafs’ player John Tavares take an accidental knee to the head last week? He was out cold! Good to know he was out of the hospital the next day. He’s a hockey player!

I’m not sure what it is but I mistype the word “hosiptal” EVERY freaking time!

May 29th is a big day in Massachusetts as many COVID restrictions are being lifted. Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend!

Baltimore Orioles great, Brooks Robinson celebrated his 83rd birthday last week. Regarded by many as the greatest third baseman of all-time, Robinson was also referred to as a true gentleman. I came upon this quote while perusing his legacy: “There’s not a man who knows him who wouldn’t swear for his integrity and honestly and give testimony to his consideration of others. He’s an extraordinary human being, which is important, and the world’s greatest third baseman… which is incidental.”  – John Steadman, Baltimore Sun

One more gem on Brooks Robinson: “He’s not at his locker yet, but fours guys are over there interviewing his glove.” – Rex Barney

Go ahead and get older, just don’t get old.

Trivia #1 hint: Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Keith Richards, Alvin Lee, Jackson Brown, David Bowie

You have to love long-time Red Sox radio announcer Joe Castiglione! Often, either when the Sox blow a rally or especially on the last out of a loss, Joe sounds as though he’s lost a loved one.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A Michigan woman was fined $385 for talking on her cell phone too loud while talking and walking down the street. (Now granted, she bitched at the cop who drove up after a neighbor complained but still…)

Trivia #1 answer: Who is the lead guitarist on David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance?” – Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Keith Richards, Alvin Lee, Jackson Brown, David Bowie – Stevie Ray Vaughn
Trivia #2: How many times has John Daly made the cut at the PGA Championship since his victory in 1991? – 0, 1, 2, 6, 9, 12, 15, 28 – 6 times
Trivia #3: Food Network icon Guy Fieri recently signed a contract extension for three years, $80 million. Where would that salary put him on the list of top NFL salaries in terms of AAV (average annual salary)? – 1st, 2nd, 7th, 10th, 15th, 25th, 33rd, 90th – 15th

I’m offering dead batteries to any who wants them. Free of charge.

Be careful out there.

“Now they say your folks are telling you
Be a super star
But I tell you just be satisfied
Stay right where you are

Keep yourself alive
Keep yourself alive
It’ll take you all your time and money
Honey you’ll survive.”

– Queen

Friday, May 21, 2021

Briefly.

I haven’t lost all my marbles yet… but apparently there is a small hole in the bag.

Trivia #1: What player had the longest touchdown reception in Gillette Stadium history?
Trivia #2: Arnold Palmer and Jordan Spieth are among three players missing the PGA Championship for the career Grand Slam. Who is the other? – Raymond Floyd, Tom Watson, Sam Snead, Tiger Woods, Gary Player

Another 3, one-goal games in the NHL playoffs last night. There have been 14 such games this postseason with 9 of those ending in OT, including one in two OT’s. The Bruins and Capitals have now played 12, straight one-goal playoff games. Ahhh, playoff hockey!

One more on the Bruins/Capitals. The Bruins have led in the series for 8 minutes and 47 seconds. The Caps have led for 156:33.

What a great win for the Sox last night as J.D. Martinez cracked his 250th career dinger with two outs in the 9th for the 8-7 back-n-forth, comeback victory. The win keeps our Red Sox in first place and it came against the Toronto Blue Jays, a team everyone talks about. So, when are they going to start talking about the Sox???

When I was a kid I thought the epitome of wealth and sophistication was having a jar a Grey Poupon in the fridge.

Quote for the week: “I just want my name on the damn Cup.” – Bruins coach Bruce Cassidy

In rare NAZCAR news, Danica Patrick is returning to the Indy 500 this year… to drive the pace car.

Don’t look now but Tuukka Rask has tied Gerry Cheevers for career playoff wins with the Bruins.

The major league batting average was .237 as of last night. The lowest ever was in the “Year of the Pitcher” in 1968 (.238).

There are 13 players in the American League who are batting > .300, 5 of them are with the Houston Astros.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers played golf with Denver Broncos’ President of Football Operations John Elway.

Speaking of the NBA, the Celtics won their “play-in” game on Tuesday. They now play the Brooklyn Nets tomorrow night. That’s just enough time in between games for me to totally lose interest. I do want them to beat the Nets (badly), but can’t say I’ll see too much action.

Having said that, the Celtics could be part of a Boston triple-header next Tuesday night if a Bruins/Caps game is necessary. Let’s hope not!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Bitcoin, Litecoin, Peercoin, Namecoin, Dogecoin, etc.

Trivia #1 answer: What player had the longest touchdown reception in Gillette Stadium history? – Ben Watson from Tom Brady (63 yards), January 7, 2006 vs. Jacksonville
Trivia #2: Arnold Palmer and Jordan Spieth are among three players missing the PGA Championship for the career Grand Slam. Who is the other? – Raymond Floyd, Tom Watson, Sam Snead, Tiger Woods, Gary Player – Tom Watson

Remember, the more you weigh the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat more cake!

Be careful out there.

“There are men high up there fishing,
Haven’t seen quite enough of the world,
I ain’t seen a sign of my heroes,
And I’m still diving down for pearls.

Let me flow into the ocean,
Let me get back to the sea,
Let me be stormy and let me be calm,
Let the tide in, and set me free.”

– The Who

Friday, May 14, 2021

Briefly. (very)

Today is a good day to have a great day. For starters, I set another personal record today – consecutive days alive!

Trivia #1: For you “dart heads” – What is the highest possible score in darts using 3 darts?

Trivia #2: Which team set an NHL record by playing 26 games in the 1987 playoffs? – Edmonton Oilers, Boston Bruins, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Chicago Blackhawks

Going to McDonald’s for a salad is like going to a hooker for a hug.

Yes, it’s early (roughly 25% into the season) but our Red Sox are still in first place.

The NHL playoffs begin tomorrow. Go B’s. Is it Tuukka time?? Not felling it but I hope so. Sway… man!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Colorado Avalanche have been awarded the Presidents’ Cup as the top seed in the NHL playoffs. – There’s really an award for that??? Who’s resume does that go on?

I do feel bad for Jaylen Brown. I like the guy. However, the Celtics were going nowhere with hm and are certainly going nowhere without him. Is it time for Stevens (and Ainge) to step down or do they get another chance? I say one more year.

Quote for the week: “First of all, it was hotter than hell out there, like a whore in church.” – New York Jets draft pick Zach Wilson’s mother.

Drunks run stop signs. Potheads wait for them to turn green.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Roughly 45 days ago, CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky spoke of “impending doom” regarding the state of Covid-19. Yesterday, the CDC announced it has revised its mask guidance again, now enabling those who are fully vaccinated to forgo wearing masks both indoors and outdoors.

If you happen to find dryer sheets in your mailbox, there is a reason. Postal workers say that the dryer sheets keep wasps away. Hey, I’m here to educate.                                                                                                                                                                                

How’s my golf game, you ask? Let’s just say that I’m more apt to yell “fore” than I am to score a four.

Where’s the “D!?” The Portland Trailblazers scored a franchise record 50 points in the first quarter the other night against the Houston Rockets while tying an NBA record for three pointers in a quarter (12). The Celtics played their first game ever where both teams had 70+ points at the half. Since the new Boston Garden opened in 1995, the Celtics have allowed >-70 points in the first half 4 times in the last 19 games. In the previous 1,007 games they also did that 4 times.

A California woman purchased a $26 million winning lottery ticket in November, but accidently put the ticket in the pocket of her pants that went through the laundry. California lottery officials would neither confirm or deny the existence of surveillance video confirming evidence of the purchase. DYK: If the prize goes unclaimed the one-time payout of $19.7 million goes to California’s public schools.

And I ain’t got no worries because I ain’t in no hurry, at all.

Trivia #1 answer: For you “dart heads” – What is the highest possible score in darts using 3 darts? – 180
Trivia #2: Which team set an NHL record by playing 26 games in the 1987 playoffs? – Edmonton Oilers, Boston Bruins, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Chicago Blackhawks – Philadelphia Flyers

Be careful out there.

“Chewin’ at a rhythm on my bubble gum
The sun is out, I want some
It’s not hard, not far to reach
We can hitch a ride to Rockaway Beach”

– The Ramones

Friday, May 7, 2021

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE

Briefly.

Never let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. Just look at Beethoven. Everyone told him he would never be a musician, just because he was deaf. But did he listen?

Trivia #1: What former Red Sox outfielder is tied for the league lead in “caught stealing?”

Trivia #2: What is a female donkey called? – Jack, Jenny, Shirley, Jade, Karen

Trivia #3: Alex Ovechkin has the most points amongst Russian-born players in NHL history? Who is second? – Pavel Datsyuk, Pavel Bure, Sergei Fedorov, Ilya Kovalchuk, Wayne Cashman

There have been 3 no-hitters in the majors this season and that doesn’t include Madison Bumgarner’s 7-inning effort. As analyst Tim Kurkjian noted, “…everyone throws 95+ and has at least one almost unhittable pitch…”

So, Bill and Melinda Gates are splitting up after 27 years of marriage. “… we ask for space and privacy for our family as we begin to navigate this new life.” Ya, good luck with that. I read one article “Sources alleged to TMZ…”

The Red Sox Franchy Cordero, mired in a 0-25 slump, went 3-5 last night and made a great defensive play. Hey, work with me here.

Speaking of the Red Sox, I’m as optimistic as they get but let’s keep in mind that April was their most Fenway-friendly month on their calendar.

Speaking of the Bruins, they’ve won 5 of their last 6 and are looking good. Interesting goalie battle with Rask, Swayman and Halak.

Speaking of the Celtics, it is painful for me to watch. Is it coach Brad Stevens? I don’t know but their chances of advancing past the first round of the playoffs are bleak.

Bleak, good word.

Congratulations to local Pat “Baby Gronk” Freiermuth, the 6’5”, 251 lb. former Penn St. tight end who was drafted in the 2nd round by the Steelers, 55th overall. Freiermuth is from Merrimac MA, next town over.

Quote for the week: “A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.” – Winston Churchill

After a banner draft, coach Urban Meyer (not a fan) and the Jacksonville Jaguars yesterday fired four staffers who had a combined 66 years with the team.

Funny game, baseball. One of the game’s best hitter, the Detroit Tigers’ Miguel Cabrera was 0 for his last 23 (as of Wednesday) and has struck out at a 33.8 percent rate compared to his career 17.4% rate.

Really, I think both Bill and Melinda Gates will be just fine.

The Angels’ Shohei Ohtani is batting .273 with 10 homeruns, 24 RBI and 6 stolen bases. He is also 1-0 with 19 walks and 30 K’s in 18.2 innings. Stud.

An invisible man and invisible woman married. I’m not sure what they saw in each other. Their kids were nothing to look at either.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A female, sixth grade student opened fire at an Idaho middle school Thursday morning, wounding a custodian and two other students before being disarmed by a teacher and taken into custody. When I was in the 6th grade all I thought about in my spare time was playing basketball at recess the next day.

50-year-old Phil “Lefty” Mickelson shot a 7-under par 64 yesterday to grab a 2-stroke lead in the Wells Fargo Championship. Stay tuned.

Speaking of wicked old guys, 41-year-old Albert Pujols has been cut by the Anaheim Angels. Pujols, fifth in major league history with 667 career homeruns and 13th with 3,253 hits was batting .198 when he was cut.

Trivia #1 answer: What former Red Sox outfielder is tied for the league lead in “caught stealing?” – Andrew Benintendi (4)

Trivia #2 answer: What is a female donkey called? – Jack, Jenny, Shirley, Jade, Karen – Jenny

Trivia #3 answer: Alex Ovechkin has the most points amongst Russian-born players in NHL history? Who is second? – Pavel Datsyuk, Pavel Bure, Sergei Fedorov, Ilya Kovalchuk, Wayne Cashman – Sergei Fedorov

Be careful out there.

“Guess I got what I deserved Kept you waiting there too long, my love All that time without a word Didn’t know you’d think that I’d forget or I’d regret The special love I had for you, my baby blue”

– Badfinger

Friday, April 30, 2021

Briefly.

People cheating on their taxes disgusts me. This is not the world I want to raise my 23 dependents in.

Trivia #1: On Wednesday night, Jason Tatum and Jaylen Brown became just the 2nd set of Celtics teammates, in a regular season game, where both players had >= 35 points, >= 7 rebounds and >= 4 assists. Who are the other two players?

Trivia #2: What does “Impfneid” mean?

Trivia #3: Which school is not in the top five of schools that have provided the most 1st round NFL draft picks since 1980 – Florida State, Ohio State, Alabama, USC, Miami (FL), Florida

I’m not sure about you, but I can picture myself sitting next to Mel Kiper, turning and telling him to STFU.

I enjoyed the 1st round of the NFL draft last night. ICYMI, the first three picks were quarterbacks, the Jags became the first team ever to select both a QB and RB (Trevor Lawrence and Travis Etienne) from the same school (Clemson) in the first round and “your New England Patriots” got the QB they seemingly wanted without having to move up. In Bill I trust!

Why does it seem as though every time that Jason Tatum touches the ball, he shoots? Why does it seem as though every time that Jaylen Brown touches the ball, he shoots? OK, not EVERY time but you get the picture.

Red Sox reliever Garrett Whitlock, plucked from the Yankees in the offseason via the Rule 5 Draft, has incredible “stuff” that just seems to be getting better. He throws a 95 mph sinker and an 83 mph changeup, big differential. Fun to watch.

The Red Sox’ new offseason acquisition Franchy Cordero has struck out 25 times in his 47 at-bats this season. In the 19 games where he has had an official at-bat, he has had at least one strike out in all but 3 of them.

Sex… and drugs… and rock n roll.

The Toronto Maple Leafs clinched a playoff spot. Already?!

Hmmm. Indonesian officials working to determine how a military submarine with 53 crew members sunk earlier this month during a training exercise said the vessel may have been hit by an internal solitary wave in the treacherous waters off  Bali.

Even when the shift (MLB) proves itself effective, I don’t like it.

In the Mets 1-0 loss to the Red Sox the other night, pitcher Jake deGrom tied Nolan Ryan for the most strikeouts (59) through his first five starts of a season. Poor Jake allowed one or fewer runs for the 33rd time in his career, third this season, and still picked up the loss, most in the majors since he made his debut in 2014.

Sometimes I like to mess with my family and put their stuff where they can’t find it. Like I put their shoes in the shoe closet, their jacket on a hanger and their keys on the key hook.

In the last 100 Bruins games where Brad Marchand has scored a goal, the Bruins are 80-10-10. Let me add that Taylor Hall has scored 5 goals in his first 10 games with the Bruins. He had scored 5 goals in his previous 50 games.

Trivia #1 hint: The year was 1970

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Chicago is sending specially equipped buses into neighborhoods to deliver COVID-19 vaccines, Detroit is offering $50 to people who give others a ride to vaccination sites, and starting Monday will send workers to knock on every door  in the city to help residents sign up for shots. Other places around the U.S. are offering other incentives from free beer, pot and doughnuts, savings bonds and a chance to win an all-terrain vehicle.

Trivia #1 answer: On Wednesday night, Jason Tatum and Jaylen Brown became just the 2nd set of Celtics teammates, in a regular season game, where both players had >= 35 points, >= 7 rebounds and >= 4 assists. Who are the other two players? – John Havlicek and Don Nelson on 2/25/70

Trivia #2 answer: What does “Impfneid” mean? – Impfneid means “vaccination envy” and is one of more than 1,200 words added to the German vocabulary during the pandemic.

Trivia #3 answer: Which school is not in the top five of schools that have provided the most 1st round NFL draft picks since 1980 – Florida State, Ohio State, Alabama, USC, Miami (FL), Florida – Florida State (#6)

Be careful out there.

“In a place you only dream of
Where your soul is always free
Silver stages, golden curtains
Filled my head, plain as can be
As a rainbow grew around the sun
All the stars above who died came from
Somewhere beyond the scene you see
These lovely people played just for me

Green grass and high tides forever”

– Outlaws

Friday, April 23, 2021

Briefly.

If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes a seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”

Trivia #1: Who is the only player in Red Sox’ history to hit for the cycle twice?

Trivia #2: What unique career statistic does the NBA’s Manute Bol have? He is the only player with such a statistic.

A win for the good guys: A suspected poacher was trampled to death by  herd of elephants in South Africa over the weekend.

Belated congratulations to the UMASS men’s hockey team for their 5-0 win in the NCAA hockey final.

Message to the NBA/MLB, just play the games!!! Really, do these guys need a night off to rest?! Incredible!

That landscaping contract at Augusta National must be a lucrative gig, huh?

Article I’ll skip: “Michigan woman glues eye shut after mistaking nail glue for eye drops“

Good news: (well, good news for some, I guess) – “Swimwear” and lingerie brand “Pour Moi” recently released two sunbathing guides – one for the world and one for the U.S. – to help people decide which countries and states allow nude or topless sunbathing.

If you say something is “heavenly”, just what are you saying? How do you know??

Anytime you set a mark for a storied franchise, in any sport, it is a “claim-to-fame.” Last Friday, the Celtics’ Jaylen Brown became the first player in franchise history to score at least 40 points while shooting at least 85% from the field.

In 2014, the World Health Organization’s alcohol expert, Dr. Kari Poikolainen, stated that drinking only becomes harmful if you consume more than 13 units per day. To put that in perspective, a bottle of wine contains about 10 units. Just sayin’.

Useless information supposed to fire my/your imagination: The University of Notre Dame and Indiana University have announced plans for a home-and-home series with their respective footballs teams in 2030 and 2031.

Useless information supposed to fire my/your imagination, part deux: Dogs can sniff out SARS-CoV-2 in urine samples with 96% accuracy, according to a proof-of-concept study.

I think one of the most underrated statistics in professional sports is “runs scored” in baseball. There’s just not enough credit given for it.

I think I’m past that age where I’ll work out in front of a mirror.

Guy #1: “Hey, she’s not exactly a looker, but I hear she’s a great kid.” Guy #2: “Not a looker true, but I hear she’s got great spin rate!”

Stewart Cink, last weekend’s winner of PGA’s RBC Heritage, is such a classy guy. The 47-year old was not only humble in his post-round interviews, but he had his son Reagan, his caddy, at his side at all times.

“He/she is as dumb as a bag of rocks!” Great saying I think, but really, in many cases it is a compliment for some people, and often a great disservice to a bag of rocks.

For us locals, the Sox, Bruins and Celtics have all been on a roll. Last night it was the Red Sox though that prevented the Boston, Thursday night sweep.

Quote for the week: “Every child is one caring adult away from being a success story.” – Josh Shipp

Maybe, probably, I haven’t been paying attention but why aren’t they posting scores from around MLB on the Green Monster? Covid??

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Gwinnett County Board of Education, GA, is still requiring kids to wear masks in school. As one parent put it: “Enforcing 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9-year old children to wear masks for seven hours a day, every day for the past nine months… is not in their best interest.”

R.I.P. HRH The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh (99) – arguably the world’s most famous husband, he spent seven decades in the shadow of his wife, the UK’s Queen Elizabeth II, but in turn won widespread respect for his steadfast and constant support of her.

R.I.P. – Bill LaPierre (59) – HHS Class of ’80. Billy was a great guy!

Trivia #1 answer: Who is the only player in Red Sox’ history to hit for the cycle twice? – Brock Holt (2015, 2018)

Trivia #2 answer: What unique career statistic does the NBA’s Manute Bol have? He is the only player with such a statistic.  – He finished his career with more blocked shots than points scored.

Be careful out there.

“Baby, I’m a man, maybe I’m a lonely man
Who’s in the middle of something
That he doesn’t really understand

Baby, I’m a man
And maybe you’re the only woman who could ever help me
Baby, won’t you help me understand?”

– Paul McCartney

Friday, April 16, 2021

Briefly.

Have you ever met someone for the first time and wanted to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?

Trivia #1: Rafael Devers became the 19th Red Sox with homeruns in four straight games. Which of the following players is not on that list? – Jason Bay, David Ortiz, Ted Williams, Jose Canseco, Carl Everett, Jim Rice, Mo Vaughn, Carl Yastrzemski

Trivia #2: Which of the following was not in attendance at last weekend’s Masters tournament? – Dwayne Wade, Travis Kelce, Nick Saban, Matt Ryan, Mitch Trubisky, Peyton Manning, Justin Timberlake

Xander Schauffele was right there, on the cusp of catching Hideki Matsuyama for the lead in The Masters last weekend. Then, he just came up short… DOH! He later gave a very good interview, no excuses.

Good news: The mask mandate in New Hampshire has been lifted!

Good news, part deux: Kenneth Smith, homeless at the time, was sitting in a chair outside an Outback Steakhouse in Fort Worth, TX when a customer approached him and gave him a $100 gift card so he could buy dinner. While he was eating, Smith met the restaurant’s managing partner who told him she wanted to make sure he always had somewhere to go for a warm meal. Months later he asked for a job and is now bussing tables there.

Useless information supposed to fire my/your imagination: Parts of the northeast could see a foot of snow.

You heroes out there not getting the vaccine. I understand you have your reasons, not that I understand the your reasons, but you are just not helping…

Boston Bruins’ goalies. Talk about next man up! Just sway…. Man!

A South Carolina hunter killed a monster, 12 foot long, 445 pound gator, brought it to a taxidermist who then found 5 dog tags, 1 bullet jacket, 1 spark plug, load of turtle shells and several bobcat claws inside.

Look, I love Julian Edelman. He is not a Hall-of-Famer. We, New England Patriot fans, know what he has meant to the franchise and how valuable he has been, but he is not deserving of the HOF.

Article I won’t read: David Hasselhoff’s daughter becomes first curve model on European Playboy cover.

When you think about how huge the earth is, and how the earth is just a tiny ball orbiting the sun, which is in turn a miniscule spec in the universe, it’s pretty easy to rationalize drinking that 12-pack and eating that bacon double cheeseburger.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The torch relay for the Tokyo Olympics ran through a mostly empty Osaka city park on Tuesday.

R.I.P. (or not) – Bernie Madoff (82) – the onetime senior statesman of Wall Street who in 2008 became the human face of an era of financial misdeeds and missteps for running the largest and possibly most devastating Ponzi scheme in financial history, died Wednesday in a federal prison hospital. We was serving a 150-year sentence. Paper losses from the Ponzi scheme totaled $64.8 billion.

Trivia #1 answer: Rafael Devers became the 19th Red Sox with homeruns in four straight games. Which of the following players is not on that list? – Jason Bay, David Ortiz, Ted Williams, Jose Canseco, Carl Everett, Jim Rice, Mo Vaughn, Carl Yastrzemski – David Ortiz

Trivia #2 answer: Which of the following was not in attendance at last weekend’s Masters tournament? – Dwayne Wade, Travis Kelce, Nick Saban, Matt Ryan, Mitch Trubisky, Peyton Manning, Justin Timberlake – Matt Ryan

Be careful out there.

“I know she told you,
Honey I know she told you that she loved you
Much more than I did,
But all I know is that she left you,
And you swear that you just don’t know why,
But you know, honey I’ll always,
I’ll always be around if you ever want me
Come on and cry, cry baby, cry baby, cry baby,
Oh honey, welcome back home.”

– Janice Joplin (written by Bert Berns)

Friday, April 9, 2021

Briefly.

Today’s math problem: If Charlie is 68 and his girlfriend is 22, how much money does Charlie have?

Trivia #1: What game is sometimes called “Roshambo?”

Trivia #2: The Masters Tournament was originally called the “Augusta National Invitational.” What year did the name change? – 1924, 1932, 1939, 1941, 1955, 1968, 2019
Trivia #3: Who has made the most cuts at the Masters? Bonus: How many cuts? – Tom Watson, Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, Billy Casper, Tiger Woods, Ben Crenshaw, Lee Trevino, Dane Hubbard

Xander Schauffele shot even par yesterday and stands tied for 13th place in the Masters, 8 shots behind leader Justin Rose. What I’m saying is, he has a chance!

Good news: Chip Hawthorne, 6th generation Floridian, is riding his lawn mower 130 miles to raise money for Habitat for Humanity in what is being dubbed the “Mowathon.” Escorted by law enforcement, Hawthorne took off from Winter Garden, FL at 6 a.m. on Thursday and expected to reach the Gulf of Mexico around 8 p.m. next Thursday while averaging about 10 mph.

Useless information supposed to fire my/your imagination: Tickets to practice rounds at the Masters are $75 while tickets to the tournament are $115.

So Baylor goes up 9-0 on previously undefeated Gonzaga and goes on to beat them and win the NCAA men’s Championship in a game that arguably was never in question. Arguably.

Speaking of Baylor, they did not commit a turnover in the championship game until 7 minutes (or so) into the second half. That, my friends, will win basketball games.

Professional basketball frustrates me. (you may have noticed) What really burns me is how lazy so many players are when running the pick-n-roll. One player usually attempts to set a pick but laziness makes the pick useless, and when a decent pick is actually set the other player involved rarely uses the pick. If you want to argue this point please buy me a beer first.

Have you ever noticed that people won’t take the time to look up important information, but they’ll spend 15 minutes taking a quiz to find out what kind of potato they are?

Boston sports fans, suck it up! We’ve had a good run. The Patriots were awful last season, by our standards, the Bruins and Celtics have been struggling and the Red Sox are not expected to have much of a season. Get over it!

Speaking of the Red Sox, after their 0-3 start they won 4 in a row. That’s called a “winning streak.” They scored a total of 5 runs in the first three games and have averaged 8.25 runs per game since. BTW, their losing the first three games at Fenway was their worst start at home in 73 years.

San Diego Padres’ star  Fernando Tati Jr. suffered a partially dislocated shoulder on a big swing Monday night. For the record, he struck out on the pitch.

Maybe it’s just me but I would say the worst hat in movie history is the worn by Forrest Gump Jr. when he first meets his Daddy.

Article: “David Wells had this to say about MLB moving the All-Star game out of Atlanta” Ya, I’m interested in what David Wells says. Not!

Quote for the week: “…I’m gonna go back and get a Caesar salad with croutons and all this shit, right, and go ahead and take me a nice, fat shit and get my stomach all right and everything…” – Marshawn Lynch during a live broadcast of a Fan Controlled Football game. Really.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: High-profile dog expert Cesar Milan, known for the Emmy-nominated television series “Dog Whisperer with Cesar Milan” is speaking out about what he believes is really causing President’s Biden’s dog Major to act out after reportedly biting two people at the White House in recent weeks. Milan described the White House environment as “a place full of tension” and that the problem doesn’t lie with Major, but with the situation and people the dog is surrounded by. (I guess this is comparable to arguing that pitbulls are really good dogs)

I can’t complain but sometimes I still do…

Trivia #1 answer: What game is sometimes called “Roshambo?” – The hand-game, “Rock paper scissors”

Trivia #2 answer: The Masters Tournament was originally called the “Augusta National Invitational.” What year did the name change? – 1924, 1932, 1939, 1941, 1955, 1968, 2019 – The present name was adopted in 1939

Trivia #3 answer: Who has made the most cuts at the Masters? Bonus: How many cuts? – Tom Watson, Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, Billy Casper, Tiger Woods, Ben Crenshaw, Lee Trevino, Dane Hubbard – Jack Nicklaus (37)

Be careful out there.

“Do you want to see me crawl across the floor to you?
Do you want to hear me beg you to take me back?
I’d gladly do it, ‘cause

I don’t want to fade away
Give me one more day, please
I don’t want to fade away
In your heart I want to say”


– Derek and The Dominos