Friday, March 11, 2022

(Not so) Briefly.

I’m glad I learned about parallelograms in high school math instead of how to do my taxes. It comes in so handy during parallelogram season.

Trivia #1: In what year was te granddaddy of all U.S. highways, Route 66, established? – 1923, 1924, 1926, 1928, 1931, 2011
Trivia #2: What is the mascot of Bellarmine University? Bonus: Where is the school located?
Trivia #3: What is the nickname for Furman University?
Trivia #4: What is a “Paladin?”

So it happened, and baseball is back! Ya, I’m still ticked off at both sides but I love the game and now the season will go on, apparently in its entirety. Both MLB and the Players Association need to sign off on the deal, but right now Opening Day is slated for April 7.

But really, folks. Saturday night we turn the clocks back and spring begins. Selection Sunday is this weekend and bracket-filling will soon follow. It is a glorious time of the year.

Remember, there was a time when we all chipped in $2 for beer and $1 for gas? That $1 for gas today wouldn’t get us around the block.

Speaking of college hoops, although I really don’t like Duke men’s basketball, I do respect coach K. Back to my now liking Duke (hater), seeing the team lose to UNC last Sunday in what was coach K’s last home game, really didn’t bother me. You might even say I was elated.

Chew on this: If Malcolm Butler doesn’t make that pick in the endzone, incredibly denying Seattle a Super Bowl win, does Russell Wilson get traded or would he have had more value to the franchise?

Speaking of NFL trades, how is former New England Patriot offensive coordinator Josh McDaniel feeling these days? Now the coach of the AFC West Las Vegas Raiders, he now has to face, twice per season, Patrick Mahomes, Russell Wilson, Justin Herbert and Kahil Mack.

Article I’ll skip: “Colin Kaepernick ‘still working’ in hopes of landing NFL job”

Go away, Syracuse men’s basketball coach Jim Boeheim. As their season ended yesterday with a 16-17 record, Boeheim’s first losing season in his 46 years, he still insists his son Buddy was wrongfully suspended after punching a Florida State player in the stomach on Wednesday. Arrogant prick.

Go away, part deux, John Kerry. Again, downplaying the crisis in Ukraine; “…while the Ukraine refugee crisis is a “problem” amid Russia’s invasion, it pales in comparison to the wave of migration that will come if climate change is not addressed.Priorities, John, priorities.

There is the “agony of defeat” and then there is Furman University’s loss to Chattanooga in the SoCon tournament final this past week. Look it up.

People often stop me in the street, I never walk in the street, and ask: “Gee whiz, Ed. What is Tim Tebow selling these days?” – Tim’s new book is out “Mission Possible.” Says the former two-time national football campion, Heisman trophy winner, first-round NFL pick, former pro baseball player and ESPN contributor, I believe that it is possible for every single one of us to have, to truly have, a life that counts. God created each of us to have a unique, awesome purpose, and it’s why we’re here.”

Believe it or not, the Boston Celtics sit atop CBS Sports’ NBA power rankings. Really.

DYK: Jayson Tatum/Kobe Bryant points, first 350 games, 24 or younger Jayson Tatum – 7,183 Kobe Bryant – 6,610. What does that mean, nothing really, other than Jason Tatum is pretty good.

Speaking of the Bruins, my “website of the week” is stanleycupofchowder.com. Check it out for all things Bruins.

Now that’s just stupid. Bellarmine University was promoted from Division II to Division 1 and its men’s basketball team won the Atlantic Sun conference’s tournament final, a victory which usually comes with the conference’s automatic bid to the NCAA tournament. However, the NCAA does not allow teams to play in postseason tournaments until their fifth season at the D-1 level. Now I can see that if they moved down a division, but up? I don’t get it.

Using a bad analogy can make you look like you aren’t the sharpest knife on the tree.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Well, Putin is still targeting civilians.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: Massachusetts DPH is set report new numbers regarding COVID-19 deaths that are 15% fewer than previously reported.

Russell Westbrook Westbrick, now that’s funny. What’s even funnier, at least to me, is that he genuinely hates the nickname and is speaking out. Lighten up, Rusty!

They said it: “If the audience doesn’t like it, that’s the f*n audience’s problem.” – Andrew Dominik, director of the upcoming Marilyn Monroe biopic, defending the film’s NC-17 rating.

Trivia #1 answer: In what year was granddaddy of all U.S. highways, Route 66, established? – 1923, 1924, 1926, 1928, 1931, 2011 – 1926
Trivia #2 answer: What is the mascot of Bellarmine University? Bonus: Where is the school located? – The Knights. The Catholic school is located in Louisville.
Trivia #3 answer: What is the nickname for Furman University? – The Paladins
Trivia #4 answer: What is a “Paladin?”
The Paladins are twelve fictional knights of legend, the foremost members of Charlemagne’s court in the 8th century. Or, a knight renowned for heroism and chivalry.

Happy ‘National Funeral Director and Mortician Recognition’ Day!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“And even though we ain’t got money
I’m so in love with you, honey
And everything will bring a chain of love
And in the morning, when I rise
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright”

– Loggins & Messina

Friday, March 4, 2022

Briefly.

What more can one say about Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky? A hero, a true leader of his people. He and all Ukrainians have been more than inspiring. We, speaking for all of us, pray for them.

One day I hope to be wealthy enough to not do a double take every time I see abandoned furniture on the side of the road.

Trivia #1: Clint Eastwood was drafted into the Korean War, Army, and served as what while training at Fort Ord in California: Lifeguard, wrestler, boxer, line cook, actor, photographer
Trivia #2: Zdeno Chara has now played more NHL games than any other defenseman. Which of the following is NOT in the top five? – Ray Bourque, Nicklas Lindstrom, Scott Stevens, Chris Chelios, Larry Murphy

MLB, and its players, suck. There are arguments for siding with the players in this lockout fiasco but let’ face it, they are all greedy, both sides, and that is always the bottom line. Now I am not on either side but… here’s an argument. The minimum salary for MLB is $575,000. The NBA – $925,258, NHL – $750,000, NFL $660,000. Now, back in 2012, MLB – $480,000 was the minimum, NFL – $390,000, NBA – $473,604, NHL – $525,000.

I’ve been bogie-free for more than four months!

Every time that I look in the mirror, all these lines on my face getting clearer… Said no one, ever.

Chew on this: In his first 33 career games, Bruins’ goalie Jeremy Swayman is #1, since 1930, in save % – .931 and GAA (goals against average) – 1.87.

Article I’ll skip: Tim Allen says Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is ‘definition of wrong’; ‘Full of anger and disgust’ – Tim Allen??? Who gives half a crap what he or any other actor/actress has to say about that topic?

Speaking of the Celtics, they are (had been) streaking. Before losing on the road last Sunday, The Celtics had won 7 straight road games by 9 or more points. The team never had more than 6.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The High Place Food Hall, Boston, opened this past week after a two-year delay due to the pandemic. The food hall features a champagne vending machine, pizza, a cocktail bar, coffee, burgers, a raw bar, sushi, donuts, gelato and more, and is now open following the lifting of the state’s mask mandate and vaccine mandate. Boston mayor Michelle Wu was there for the ribbon cutting ceremony, wearing a mask. DOH!

In case you hadn’t heard, the Super Bowl champion Rams’ wide receiver Van Jefferson’s wife gave birth to a son on this past Super Bowl Sunday. They named the boy ‘Champ.’

They said it: “A war is the last thing you need with respect to a united effort to try to deal with the climate challenge” – John Kerry. Priorities, folks.

Headline of the week: Airbnb is suspending all operations in Russia and Belarus – Ah, are they getting a lot of requests???

Volodymyr Zelensky – hero

Trivia #1 answer: Clint Eastwood was drafted into the Korean War, Army, and served as what while training at Fort Ord in California: Lifeguard, wrestler, boxer, line cook, actor, photographer – He was a lifeguard/swimming instructor
Trivia #2: Zdeno Chara has now played more NHL games than any other defenseman. Which of the following is NOT in the top five? – Ray Bourque, Nicklas Lindstrom, Scott Stevens, Chris Chelios, Larry Murphy – Nicklas Lindstrom (#6)

Happy ‘National Day of Unplugging’ – as you all read this on various devices…

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“I, I can remember (I remember)
Standing by the wall (by the wall)
And the guns shot above our heads (over our heads)
And we kissed as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall)

And the shame was on the other side
Oh, we can beat them forever and ever
Then we could be heroes, just for one day”

– David Bowie

Friday, February 25, 2022

Briefly.

May God, or whomever it is that you call out to, save us all.

Trivia #1: Going back to Monday, President’s Day. What sport did all of the following U.S. Presidents (Roosevelt, Eisenhower, George W, George H. W.) participate in – football, wrestling, cheerleading, baseball, boxing, swimming, rugby
Trivia #2: Playing only in the 1745-1975 seasons for the Oakland Athletics, what position was listed on the front of Herb Washington’s baseball card?
Trivia #3: What is the first element on the periodic table? – No hint. Either you know it or you don’t

Some people outgrow childhood shenanigans. Some of us master them.

Article I’ll skip: ANY concerning Aaron Rodgers. Add Antonio Brown to that list as well. “AB?” How about “A-hole!”

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The ink, coating films and the paperboard on which scratch tickets are printed are all nontoxic, nonhazardous, recyclable and biodegradable. It is a silicone, or wax-based, nonadhesive material that is tested and meets federal Environmental Protection Agency standards. Do you feel better now?

The debate rages on about whether it is fair for transgender females to compete against biological females. I don’t understand the argument and the recent Ivy Leagues swimming championships were a pretty good example where such athletes not only won their events, they broke records and dominated.

Quote for the week: “You know what they say? Blues musicians play 3 notes in front of 10,000 people, jazz musicians play 1,000 notes in front of 3 people.” – Steven Stills

They are one person
They are two alone
They are three together
They are for each other

A 41-year-old man, his 31-yeard-old wife, 1-year-old daughter and their dog were found dead on a hiking trail this past August near the Merced River in the Sierra National Forest. They were found more than 1.5 miles from where their vehicle was parked and had run out of water where the temperatures were as high as 109 degrees Fahrenheit, in an area with little shade. What are we thinking folks?!

Brittany Spears inked a contract with publisher Simon & Schuster valued at more than $15 million dollars. Some things are starting to make sense to me now.

Headline of the week: “Minnesota shooting outside funeral home leaves 1 man dead, 3 others injured” – OK, help me out. Doesn’t the shooting outside the funeral home leave 2 dead?

Thank God for the PGA! Last Sunday afternoon, my viewing choices were the NBA All Star game, some NAZCAR race, Bull Riding, the Olympics and the Genesis Invitational golf tournament. Saved!

Speaking of the PGA, where is the respect? Once known as a “Gentlemen’s Game” now sees the likes of Justin Thomas… wearing a hoodie.

Speaking of bull riding, the guy who chases down the bull after the bull throws the rider. Who wants THAT job?!

National Floors Direct boasts the following on their television advertisements: “We’ll beat anyone’s price by 15%, or it’s free!” – Think about that. Do they think we are all idiots? Here’s an assumed dialogue: “I saw your quote. I’m sorry but we can’t beat that price by 15% so we’ll just do the job for nothing.”

The 27 NBA players picked originally or via injury for the 2022 All-Star teams will make in salary, just this season – $741,569,672 total or $27,465,543 per player. Not a bad gig, if you can get it

Congratulations to the Haverhill High School basketball and hockey programs, both qualifying for post-season tournaments after both programs came in with less than promising preseason aspirations. Hillie pride!

I am intrigued by the Biathlon, the sport that combines cross-country skiing and target shooting with rifles. Who came up with THAT combo? How about an alternative “sport?” How about distance running and ax-throwing? Fly fishing and rock-skipping?

Speaking of the Olympics, Finland’s cross-country skier Remi Lindholm suffered a frozen penis in the 50km mass start race. Hmmm. Good thing he wasn’t competing in the biathlon, huh? It would have been pretty uncomfortable lying down with his rifle for the shooting aspect.

Trivia #1 answer: Going back to Monday, President’s Day. What sport did all of the following U.S. Presidents (Roosevelt, Eisenhower, George W, George H. W.) participate in – football, wrestling, cheerleading, baseball, boxing, swimming, rugby– They were all sports cheerleaders
Trivia #2 answer: Playing only in the 1745-1975 seasons for the Oakland Athletics, what position was listed on the front of Herb Washington’s baseball card? – “Pinch Run”

Trivia #3: What is the first element on the periodic table? – No hint. Either you know it or you don’t – Hydrogen (H)

Happy New England Clam Chowder Day!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Forgive me if my fantasies might seem a little shopwarn
I’ve sure you’ve heard it all before I wonder what’s the right form
Love songs written for you it’s been going down for years
But to sing what’s in my heart seems more honest than the tears

I am curious
Don’t want to hurry us
I’m intrigued with us
Ain’t this song a bust
I don’t care dark star”

p- Crosby, Stills & Nash

Friday, February 18, 2022

Briefly.

With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it’s only a matter of time until there’s a country song where a guy’s truck leaves him.

Trivia #1: Who of the following is NOT in the Beanpot Hall of Fame? – Jerry York (BC), Herb Wakabayashi (BU), Bob Sweeney (BC), Jack Parker (BU), Dan McGillis (NU), Lane McDonald (HU), Joe Cavanagh (HU)
Trivia #2: Who is Sofia Jirau?
Trivia #3: Who is the NHL’s all-time leader in overtime goals? – Wayne Gretzky, Brad Marchand, Sidney Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin, Jaromir Jagr, Sergei Fedorov, Mario Lemieux
Trivia #4: What college did the Rams’ Cooper Kupp attend? Bonus: What is the school’s mascot?
Trivia #5: (5, I know…) What team has the #1 pick in the upcoming USFL draft? – Birmingham Stallions, Philadelphia Stars, Michigan Panthers, Houston Gamblers, Lawrence Convicts

Maybe you know one, maybe you are one, but bear with me. Meteorologists suck. I mean does anyone hold these buffoons accountable?

The Winter Olympics are still going on. Norway has won a ton of medals.

Funny how, this year, Valentine’s Day fell the day after the football season ended. “Honey, I love you… now that football is over…”

5-star football recruit AJ Vinatieri, son of Patriots/Colts stardom, passed up scholarship offers from the likes of LSU and Indiana and will attend UMass Amherst. Cool (for us locals, that is)

Why is it that I take such pleasure in the misfortunes of others? Not only do I root for a crash in all those NAZCAR races that I don’t watch, but give me a good wreck when watching Olympic speed skating, downhill racing or luge/bobsled/skeleton. “The thrill of victory… and the agony of defeat!”

Yes, I know how to spell “NASCAR.” Above is simply an insult to those who refer to it as “sport.”

An 8-year-old kid asked me if Bingo is the name of a farmer or a dog and now I am questioning everything I thought I knew about life.

It looks as though MLB spring training is, at the very least, delayed for this season. The sides met yesterday for all but 15 minutes without progress. 15 minutes?! I have longer conversation with the paperboy!

To each his own, I guess. Prior to his execution in Oklahoma, Gilbert Ray Postelle’s (35) last meal included 20 chicken nuggets and an assortment of dipping sauces, three large fries with ketchup, a crispy chicken sandwich, a large cola and a caramel frappe.

Along those same lines, said the death-row prison guard to the woman on death row; “What do you want for your last meal?” Said the woman: “I don’t know, what do you want?”

Virginia’s Reece Beekman’s three-pointer with 1.1 seconds remaining to beat Duke Monday night should get you excited for next month’s NCAA men’s basketball tournament. It’s right around the corner!

Speaking of which, daylight savings (as much as I think it’s a farce) is three weeks from tomorrow!

Article I’ll skip: Tony Robbins gets real about success in life and health: ‘Just thinking positive is B.S.” – I am using the word “buffoon” again this week.

The Rams won the Super Bowl… or did the Cincinnati Bengals just lose? The Bungals had zero turnovers and scored just three points off the Rams two turnovers. The Bungals were sacked 7 times, punted on four straight 2nd half possessions and just couldn’t stop the Rams on their final drive. The Bungals lost.

Quote for the week: “Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.” – Victor Hugo

OK I have to at least give tennis star Novak Djokovic credit. He refuses to get vaccinated for COVID-19 and his decision led to his being deported from Australia and missing the Australian Open and now he will miss the French Open for the same reason. Said Djokovic: “It’s the price I’m willing to pay.”

Father Andres Arango resigned from St. Gregory Catholic Church in Phoenix after it was determined he incorrectly performed thousands of baptisms for decades by changing one word. He used the words “We baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,” instead of the correct phrase “I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Apparently, the issue with using ‘We’ is that it is not the community that baptizes a person, rather, it is Christ, and Him alone, who presides at all of the sacraments, and so it is Christ Jesus who baptizes. Says one of those incorrectly baptized – “Now what??”

Trivia #1 answer: Who of the following is NOT in the Beanpot Hall of Fame? – Jerry York (BC), Herb Wakabayashi (BU), Bob Sweeney (BC), Jack Parker (BU), Dan McGillis (NU), Lane McDonald (HU), Joe Cavanagh (HU) – Sorry, they are all in the Beanpot HOF
Trivia #2 answer: Who is Sofia Jirau? – Sofia appeared in Victoria Secret’s Love Cloud Collection, which was put together to highlight diversity and inclusion. Sofia is the lingerie brand’s first model with Down Syndrone.
Trivia #3 answer: Who is the NHL’s all-time leader in overtime goals? – Wayne Gretzky, Brad Marchand, Sidney Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin, Jaromir Jagr, Sergei Fedorov, Mario Lemieux – Alexander Ovechkin (24). DYK: Wayne Gretzky had only 2 OT goals!!!
Trivia #4 answer: What college did the Rams’ Cooper Kupp attend? Bonus: What is the school’s mascot? – Eastern Washington University. Mascot – The Eagles
Trivia #5 answer: What team has the #1 pick in the upcoming USFL draft? – Birmingham Stallions, Philadelphia Stars, Michigan Panthers, Houston Gamblers, Lawrence Convicts – The Michigan Panthers

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“See, don’t ever set me free
I always wanna be by your side
Girl, you really got me now
You got me so I can’t sleep at night

Yeah, you really got me now
You got me so I don’t know what I’m doin’, now
Oh yeah, you really got me now
You got me so I can’t sleep at night

You really got me
You really got me
You really got me

– The Kinks

Friday, February 11, 2022

Briefly.

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and ziplining and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Trivia #1: What U.S. Presidents are featured on Mount Rushmore? Bonus: Where is it?
Trivia #2: Tuukka Mikael Rask is? – Swedish, Finnish, Czechoslovakian, Dutch, German, Portuguese
Trivia #3: What is a “Hog Line?”
Trivia #4: Who is Dr. Sarah Lee?

Goodbye Tuukka Rask. He retires from the Bruins with a record of 306-163—66, a Stanley Cup champion in 2011 and a Vezina Trophy in 2014. Tuuuuuuuu-ka!

Chew on this: Speaking of the Bruins, they lost 6-0 to the Hurricanes last night. It was their first game since 6/15/2011 without a single player on the ice that had won a Stanley Cup as a Bruin.

Article I’ll skip: How Adidas-advertised sports bras have social media users crying foul      

Early morning news that made my coffee taste gross – Aaron Rodgers was named NFL MVP.

The sport of curling intrigues. I’ve mentioned this in the past. I think it s because it seems as though it would be a good drinking game.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The American Gaming Association expects 31.4 million Americans will bet on the Super Bowl and will wager an estimated $7.61 billion, up 78% from last year.

The Rams will win the Super Bowl. (Though I’ll be rooting for the Bengals. Who am I kidding, I’ll be rooting for my numbers to come up)

Texas furniture salesman Jim “Mattress Mack” McIngvale has placed a record-setting bet of more than $4.5 million on a Super Bowl LVI win for the Cincinnati Bengals over the Los Angeles Rams through the Caesars Sportsbook app. The hater in me is rooting for a Rams’ victory.

Recently there were a bunch of trades in the NBA.                   

The Great Escape? – The Lyons Ferry Hatchery in Washington, near the Snake River Basin, typically releases about 60,000 steelhead fish into the river, but not normally in the fall or winter. The Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife reported that 249,770 young steelheads escaped into the river recently though it is unknown whether how many, if any, survived.

Quote for the week: “The world is changed by your example not by your opinion.” – Paul Coelho

Discount grocer Aldi is opening 150 additional stores nationwide and a distribution center this year in an effort to expand its footprint within the grocery industry. 

People actually track this?? – Tom Brady is 142-0 (127-0 as a Patriot and 15-0 as a Buccaneer) when he drops back to pass with a 4th quarter lead.

I’ll admit, I’ve had enough of Tom Brady news. I’ll also admit I’ve been watching Super-Bowl-replay after Super-Bowl-replay of Patriots’ Super Bowls since Brady announced his retirement. I can’t get enough.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The mother of a 3-year-old Michigan girl found stabbed inside a garbage bag says SpongeBob SquarePants told her to kill her in a hallucination. 

Trivia #1 answer: What U.S. Presidents are featured on Mount Rushmore? – George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln.  – Bonus: Where is it? – Mount Rushmore is located in Keystone, South Dakota
Trivia #2 answer: Tuukka Mikael Rask is? – Swedish, Finnish, Czechoslovakian, Dutch, German, Portuguese – Tuukka is Finnish (Apparently, he’s “finished” too!)
Trivia #3 answer: What is a “Hog Line?” – The line on the curling ice at which the stone must be released before, in order to be considered in play.
Trivia #4 answer: Who is Dr. Sarah Lee? – She is “Dr. Pimple Popper” – A reality-TV star who helps patients with unique skin conditions reclaim a life free of disguise and embarrassment. (you can’t make this shit up)

Wha-wha-wha-whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Wha-a-Wachusett. Wachusett Mountain…… – catchy jingle

R.I.P. – Jeremy Giambi (47) – Former MLB KC Royal, Philadelphia Philly, Oakland Athletic and Boston Red Sox, was apparently another victim of suicide. What a shame.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Enjoy the game. May all your bets come true!

“And the years rolled slowly past
And I found myself alone
Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends
I found myself further and further from my home
And I guess I lost my way
There were oh so many roads
I was living to run and running to live
Never worried about paying or even how much I owed
Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time
Breaking all the rules that would bend
I began to find myself searchin’
Searchin’ for shelter again and again
Against the wind
A little something against the wind
I found myself seeking shelter against the wind”

– Bob Seger

Friday, February 4, 2022

Briefly. (Well..)

Like my mother always said, “What the f*k is wrong with you?”

Trivia #1: Who is Milltown Mel?
Trivia #2: I found one record that Tom Brady doesn’t hold: In the Super Bowl era, regular-season, minimum 100 starts, Brady is second in winning percentage against the spread (58.9% 186-124-6) What quarterback is #1?
Trivia #3: Of all 32 NFL teams, Tom Brady has a losing W/L record against only two, name them
Trivia #4: What was “The Beanpot” hockey tournament originally called? – The New England Hockey Invitational, The Boston Hockey Tournament, The Boston Invitational, The Hockey East Tournament, The Wicked Big Boston Hockey Extravaganza

Tom Brady’s middle name is Edward, just like my name. Isn’t that f*in’ awesome!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: From 1886 to 2021, Punxsutawney Phil has seen his shadow 105 times and hasn’t seen his shadow 20 times. Another 10 years don’t have any weather predictions recorded, according to The Punxsutawney Groundhog Club data. Data shows the groundhog has about a 39% accuracy rate.

You know, they say time flies when you’re having fun. And time does certainly fly, not necessarily the hours but the years. I hope you’re having fun. If you’re not, you might want to get busy with that.

So, apparently the NFL’s team in Washing ton, DC has settled on their name, finally. The Washington Commanders. Ya, go Redskins!

Happy Birthday! – You’re doing it wrong. A 29-year-old California mom of five died last weekend after falling from a party bus while celebrating her 30th birthday with family and friends. She fell at 3 a.m. and was subsequently killed by an oncoming 2006 Isuzu truck. I have yet to determine the need for pointing out that it was a 2006 model… 

Article I’ll skip: “How to look better in selfies and group photos” – Hey, it is what it is
Article I’ll skip, part deux: “Troy Aikman may have been with the Chargers, if not for Doug Flutie”

Chew on this: Tom Brady never played in a game while eliminated from playoff contention, 21 seasons. Really.

OK, I have to comment. David Ortiz, Hall of Fame, good for him. He’s certainly got the numbers. But what, his steroid story is not as proven as Roger Clemens or Barry Bonds? Is that it? Either put them all in, or put none of them in. And while you’re at it, please Put Pete Rose in!

Oh, I have more: If Tom Brady had retired in 2012, 10 years ago, he would still have the most playoff wins (17) in NFL history

The Rams will win the Super Bowl.

Quote for the week: “The one who plants trees, knowing that he will never sit in their shade, has at least started to understand the meaning of life.” – Rabindranath Tagore

She said it: “When I met you over 15 years ago, I didn’t know the first thing about football. But cheering for you and seeing you do what you love most made me learn about this wonderful game to the point that I seriously believed I knew more than the referees!” – Tom Brady’s wife, Gisele Bundchen – Ya Gisele, join the club!

The National Hurricane Center (NHC), along with several branches of the National Weather Service, are set to begin assessing the idea of moving the start of the Atlantic hurricane season back from June 1 to May 15.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Shohei Otani is being featured on the cover of Sony’s MLB’s 2022 video game, the first Asian athlete to appear in such a spot. Now, I don’t point this out because he is the first Asian, I point it out because who cares? The guy is the face of MLB. I don’t care if he’s Asian, black, white or if he has three penises. Society needs to back off!

Yo, meet my homies! – You’re doing it wrong. Six-time Pro Bowl receiver Chad Johnson invited all current Pro Bowlers – and specifically 49ers receiver Deebo Samuel and Cowboys cornerback Trevon Diggs – to an IHOP breakfast in Las Vegas, where the game is set to take place Sunday. None of the Pro Bowlers accepted Johnson’s social-media invitations, however, forcing the former Cincinnati Bengals star to eat alone. DOH!

Sad: At least 30 police and law enforcement officers were shot in the month of January – up 67% from the same time last year as the head of the country’s largest police union calls the violence against cops, “the worst I’ve ever seen.”

In 2019 the Cincinnati Bengals won two games. They won three games last month.

Beanpot – Go Northeastern!

Without getting into the Brian Flores thing, they say he is risking his coaching career. Not in my eyes. Maybe his NFL coaching career, but you can’t tell me college’s won’t be flocking towards hiring him.

Please see above. If you know my mother you know she is a saint and would never talk like that to me or anyone else. Now, that doesn’t mean she never thought it.

Trivia #1 answer: Who is Milltown Mel? – A New Jersey groundhog, much like his Pennsylvania counterpart, who makes weather predictions every February 2nd. Mel recently died prior to this year’s prediction.
Trivia #2 answer: I found one record that Tom Brady doesn’t hold: In the Super Bowl era, regular-season, minimum 100 starts, Brady is second in winning percentage against the spread (58.9% 186-124-6) What quarterback is #1? – Joe Montana (61.6% 101-63)
Trivia #3 answer: Of all 32 NFL teams, Tom Brady has a career losing W/L record against only two, name them – The New Orleans Saints (4-5) and the Seattle Seahawks (1-2). He is .500 vs. the Rams (3-3) and the Chiefs (5-5). He is also undefeated vs. the Vikings (6-0), the Falcons (9-0), the Buccaneers (4-0), the Cowboys (6-0) and the New England Patriots (1-0)
Trivia #4 answer: What was “The Beanpot” hockey tournament originally called? – The New England Hockey Invitational, The Boston Hockey Tournament, The Boston Invitational, The Hockey East Tournament, The Wicked Big Boston Hockey Extravaganza – It was called The New England Hockey Invitational

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Baby, do you understand me now
Sometimes I feel a little mad
But don’t you know that no one alive
Can always be an angel
When things go wrong I seem to be bad
But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood”

– The Animals

Friday, January 28, 2022

Briefly. (Hmmm)

When you can’t think of a word say, “I forget the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

Trivia #1: In the 1984 movie “The Natural”, the bat given to Roy Hobbs by the batboy Bobby Savoy is called what? Bonus: The movie depicts the 1939 season. The name of the bat also referred to something else in 1939. What was that?
Trivia #2: Sticking to “The Natural,” how old was Wilfred Brimley, coach Pop Fisher, when the movie was filmed? – 35, 48, 57, 65, 68, 73, 112
Trivia #3: What is
Cenosillicaphobia?
Trivia #4: In the previous Winter Olympics (2018), which country finished with most medals? – The United States, Norway, China, Sweden, China, Germany, Canada
Trivia #5: Who is Pearl Aday?

What a weekend in the NFL in the Divisional Round! All 4 games decided on the last play of the game, three won by the underdog. As for the final game on Sunday (KC/Buffalo) there is literally too much to say. I’ve watched the 4th quarter and OT four times since.

And please, don’t bitch about the NFL OT rules now. You can do that all year long and not just when it happens. I don’t like it either.

And while I’m at it, Jim Nantz and Tony Blomo can stop talking about how the Mahomes/Allen rivalry is what the AFC will be all about in the coming years. That is a great disservice to guys like Joe Burrow and Jim Herbert. Sorry Pats’ fans, Mac hasn’t entered the argument just yet.

The Celtics won the other night over the Kings 125-78, the biggest margin of victory by the Celtics at home, eva. The margin of victory probably had to do more with the fact that Sacramento sucks. Just sayin’.

Speaking of the NBA, there was a game the other night. One team took a shitload of 3-point shots while the opponent did the same. Thrilling.

Good news: During the Hershey Bears’ annual charity game, they are the Washington Capitals development club, more than 52,300 stuffed animals were tossed from the stands onto the ice setting a new world record. The stuffed animals will be handed off to more than two dozen charities and eventually, into the arms of children in need.  

Scientists with the National Institute for Understanding Basic Anatomy shocked the world yesterday by announcing the discovery that in humans, the nose is attached to the lungs. The revelation deals a stunning blow to the growing community of those who wear COVID masks below the nose.

All geared up for the Olympics? Neither am I.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: ANY speculation on what Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, Sean Payton or any other NFL player/coach is doing next year in terms of playing or retiring. Spare me, I can wait for a final decision.

Article I’ll skip: Michael Jordan, Scotty Pippen relationship ‘is over’, NBA great says

I watched some of the Army/Navy men’s basketball game last weekend. Let’s just say it is a slightly different atmosphere than the football game between the two.

Speaking of Army/Navy… I watched Georgia/Alabama basketball the other night. Again, not exactly the same atmosphere, unless of course you are a Georgia fan. Despite the fact that Georgia was 0-6 in the SEC, 5-14 overall and 14 ½ point underdogs, they prevailed by stunning the Tide 82-76. Git ‘er done!

The Rams will win the Super Bowl.

A 28-year-old Florida man was arrested last Wednesday for allegedly causing a disturbance at a Cape Coral Waffle House over the way his bacon was cooked. “You better cook the f—-ing bacon right!”, Martin Jose Alvarez, 28, is accused of yelling. One of the charges Alvarez is facing is disorderly intoxication. Shocking!

Quote for the week: “#11 over there just played his ass off. Pardon my language.” – Kansas City’s Patrick Mahomes immediately after last Sunday’s epic game against the Bills, before talking about anything else. Class act, that guy.
Quote for the week, part deux: “Keep his balls empty and his belly full.” – Linda Shelby, Arthur’s wife from the Netflix’ series Peaky Blinders, quoting her own mother.

Taking stubbornness to a new level. The parents of a 31-year-old in need of a heart transplant at Boston’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital said their son has been removed from the transplant list because he has not been vaccinated for COVID-19. The man is the father of two.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Many of the free at-home COVID-19 tests, part of the White House’s newly launched initiative to work with the U.S. Postal Service to mail out 500 million of the tests to Americans in the coming weeks, were made in China.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: Several students at a Maryland high school in the Washington, D.C. area neglected to call 911 about a bathroom shooting and instead tweeted about the incident and went back to class, leaving the teenage victim bleeding out until he was discovered by a security guard.

You know it’s cold outside when you trip over dog poop instead of stepping in it.

The PGA, smaht. The start to this week’s Farmer Insurance Open was pushed back to Wednesday as to avoid a potential conflict with the final round going up against the NFL’s championship games on Sunday.

Hey you, get off of my cloud!

Trivia #1 answer: In the 1984 movie “The Natural”, the bat given to Roy Hobbs by the batboy Bobby Savoy is called what? Bonus: The movie depicts the 1939 season. The name of the bat also referred to something else in 1939. What was that? – The bat was called the “Savoy Special.” Bonus: “Savoy Special” was also a brand of beer in 1939.
Trivia #2 answer: Sticking to “The Natural,” how old was Wilfred Brimley, coach Pop Fisher, when the movie was filmed? – 35, 48, 57, 65, 68, 73, 112 – He was 48 years old
Trivia #3 answer: What is
Cenosillicaphobia? – It is the fear of an empty beer glass
Trivia #4 answer: In the previous Winter Olympics (2018), which country finished with most medals? – The United States, Norway, China, Sweden, China, Germany, Canada – Norway with 39
Trivia #5 answer: Who is Pearl Aday? – Meatloaf’s daughter. Imagine, she will go on through life as “Meatloaf’s daughter.” Sorry, but I find that hilarious.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“When I first met you girl you didn’t have no shoes
But now you’re walkin’ ‘round like you’re front page news
You’ve been awful careful ‘bout the friends you choose
But you won’t find my name in your book of Who’s Who

I said I, I, I, I, I’m not your steppin’ stone (no girl, not me)
I, I, I, I, I’m not your steppin’ stone
Not your steppin’ stone
I’m not your steppin’ stone
Not your steppin’ stone
Not your steppin’ stone”

– Paul Revere & The Raiders

Friday, January 21, 2022

Briefly.

Boobytrap backwards is Partyboob. Carry on.

Trivia #1: What teams have appeared in the most AFC Championship games? NFC? How many (same for both)
Trivia #2: Which two quarterbacks are NOT in the top five of all-time career playoff wins? – Terry Bradshaw, Tom Brady, John Elway, Ben Roethlisberger, Joe Montana, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre
Trivia #3: Who is Marvin Lee Aday?

The Patriots, ouch! Embarrassing! DYK: The Bills became the first team to go through a game with zero punts, zero field goals and zero turnovers.

Chew on this: Tom Brady now has more playoff wins (17), since 2014, than any other starting QB has in his career. Joe Montana is second with 16.

The PGA is back!

Like it or not, Tuukka is back too!

Serbian Novak Djokovic is arguably the best tennis player in the world. The 34-year-old failed in a final appeal against the Australian government’s decision to remove his visa. He is not only missing out on the Australian Open and may also miss the French Open due to his decision to not get vaccinated against COVID-19. To make matters worse, one of his major sponsors wants to meet with him. DOH!

Article I’ll skip: Gold Medalist Caitlyn Jenner sends message to NCAA amid trans debate

I learned that at the NY Giants’ Fan Appreciation Day this past season, they “awarded” the fans with a medium soda.

Some dance to remember, some dance to forget.

The Rams will win the Super Bowl.

Tweet of the Week: Congrats @RobGronkowski on setting the postseason TD mark for TEs. Unfortunately, you’re still not eligible for membership with USAA.

Beginning December 17, 2021, North Korea banned laughing for 11 days to mark 10 years of Kim Jong’s rule and to commemorate the anniversary of the death of his father. Any sign of happiness, alcohol, celebrating birthdays and food shopping have all been banned.

I’m just guessing the NFL is relaxing the COVID testing during the playoffs? Just a guess.

Quote for the week: “Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, nine if you’re ugly.” – Betty White in 2011

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: California prosecutors have filed two counts of vehicular homicide against the driver of a Tesla on Autopilot who ran a red light, slammed into another car and killed two people in 2019.

Puh-lease! Have you seen the Applebees commercial where they play the theme song from the 80’s/90’s sitcom “Cheers?” Give me a break!

Me: This movie sucks!
Boss: Again, this is a Zoom call.

R.I.P. Meat Loaf (74) – The singer’s career spanned six decades and he was in dozens of movies including the “Rocky Horror Picture Show,” “Fight Club” and “Wayne’s World.” His album “Bat Out of Hell” is one of the 10 bestselling albums of all time, with worldwide sales of more than 40 million copies.

DYK: Meat Loaf’s nickname was given to him by his high school football coach because of Meat Loaf’s weight. I imagine if that happened today the kid would be in therapy and his parents would be suing the school.

DYK: There are more 1,133 words in the song “Paradise By the Dashboard Lights”

Trivia #1 answer: What teams have appeared in the most AFC Championship games? NFC? – 16 times each – The Pittsburgh Steelers 1972, 1974–76, 1978–79, 1984, 1994–95, 1997, 2001, 2004–05, 2008, 2010, 2016 – The San Francisco 49ers 1970–71, 1981, 1983–84, 1988–90, 1992–94, 1997, 2011–13, 2019
Trivia #2 answer: Which two quarterbacks are NOT in the top five of all-time career playoff wins? – Terry Bradshaw, Tom Brady, John Elway, Ben Roethlisberger, Joe Montana, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre – Ben Roethlisberger and Brett Favre are tied for 6th.
Trivia #3 answer: Who is Marvin Lee Aday? – The singer/actor better known as Meat Loaf

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you’ve got
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot
Wouldn’t you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name”

– Gary Portnoy & Judy Hart-Angelo

“Though it’s cold and lonely in the deep, dark light
I can see paradise in the dashboard light”

– Meat Loaf

Friday, January 14, 2022

Briefly.

I wonder how many WTFs today will bring.

Trivia #1: With which sports team did the “tomahawk chop” originate? – Atlanta Braves, Kansas City Chiefs, Florida State Seminoles, Winnacunnet Warriors
Trivia #2: What does NVRQT stand for and bonus: What is its significance?
Trivia #3: Who was born Veronica Yvette Bennett?
Trivia #4: During the decade of the 1980’s, there was one year where the Meadowlands crew had to work overtime, as the Jets played there on Saturday and the Giants played there the next day, on Sunday. What year was it?
Trivia #5: What is the plural of ‘attorney general’, bonus: Why?

Man, it’s a good thing I make an effort to avoid commenting on political subjects/topics. I’d be here all day with a 20-page blog.

Speaking of avoiding politics, can we just drop a couple big ones on North Korea and get it over with?

Happy Wildcard Weekend (NFL) everyone! This season we get two games on Saturday, three on Sunday and a first-ever Monday Night game. Oh, the glory…

Speaking of which, this is Rams’ quarterback Matthew Stafford’s moment. Having never won a playoff game having played his entire career with the always-struggling Detroit Lions. Now, can he win with a team with some studs on both sides of the ball? His legacy either starts or ends on Monday night vs. the Cardinals.     

Article I’ll skip: Britney Spears slams her family, younger sister Jamie Lynn

So apparently the story is that Gronk needed n-number of catches and n-number of yards last Sunday to meet some big incentives in his contract. QB Tom Brady argued with his coaches to get back into the game that was all but over. He fed Gronk and got him his bonuses (both worth $500,000).

Quote for the week: “Gronk can have his dinner with all his tight ends, I’m going out with the O-linemen. Sorry Gronk, I’m going to miss you. Just make sure you don’t stay out too late.” – Tom Brady after learning he wasn’t invited to Gronk’s dinner.
Quote for the week, part deux: “Soon, I’m going to meet somebody around my own age, and she’s going to be smart and beautiful, and I’m going to date her daughter.” – Bob Saget

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Student lender Naviant has announced that it has canceled over $1.7 billion in student loans as part of an agreement to settle ongoing litigation with various state attorneys general.

Can you coach football? Well, there are plenty of openings in the NFL. Take your shot!

You think Big Brother has been watching? Well, yesterday SpaceX successfully launched the two-stage Falcon 9 rocket sending 105 more satellites into orbit.

Jon Lester announced his retirement. Three-time World Series Champion (Cubbies and twice with the Red Sox), 200 wins, 2488 strikeouts, threw over 200 innings 8 ties, threw a no-hitter and survived cancer. Always a big-game pitcher come playoff time, going out on his own terms. Good for him!

You know its winter in New England when there is a “warmer sea breeze” and the water temperature is 46 degrees.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Former New England Patriot Julian Edelman allegedly bet $100K that the Patriots would meet Tampa Bay in the Super Bowl.

Why do eggs come in flimsy Styrofoam cartons and batteries come in a package you can only open with a chainsaw?

R.I.P. Bob Saget (65) – Stand-up comedian, actor and television host.
R.I.P. Ronnie Spector (78) – Along with her sister and cousin, formed the Ronettes in 1957 and sang lead for the group on a string of hits in the early-to-mid 1960’s.
R.I.P. Mrs. Arch (80-something) – Joanne Archambault, local mother and matriarch, grandmother, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, legend. She loved her family to the fullest, lived life to its fullest. An all-timer.   

Trivia #1 answer: With which sports team did the “tomahawk chop” originate? – Atlanta Braves, Kansas City Chiefs, Florida State Seminoles, Winnacunnet Warriors – The nod goes to the Florida State Seminoles. The school’s band invented the tune in the 1980’s.
Trivia #2 answer: What does NVRQT stand for and bonus: What is its significance? – NVRQT stands for “never quit” and the NVRQT Campaign, run by the Pediatric Cancer Research Foundation,
helps to raise awareness and funds for children’s cancer research with the help of Chicago Cubs pitcher, Jon Lester (launched by Lester and his wife in 2012)
Trivia #3 answer: Trivia #3: Who was born Veronica Yvette Bennett? – Ronnie Spector
Trivia #4 answer: During the decade of the 1980’s, there was one year where the Meadowlands crew had to work overtime, as the Jets played there on Saturday and the Giants played there the next day, on Sunday. What year was it? – 1985
Trivia #5 answer: What is the plural of ‘attorney general’, bonus: Why? – The plural is ‘attorneys general’ because the word ‘general’ is an adjective and the plural goes to the noun. Hey, I’m here to educate

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“The night we met I knew I needed you so
And if I had the chance I’d never let you go
So won’t you say you love me
I’ll make you so proud of me
We’ll make ‘em turn their heads every place we go

So won’t you, please
(Be my, be my baby) Be my little baby
(My one and only baby) Say you’ll be my darlin’
(Be my, be my baby) Be my baby now
Wha-oh-oh-oh”

– The Ronettes

Friday, January 7, 2022

Briefly. (hey, I’m on holiday!)

May all your troubles last as long as your New Years’ resolutions.

Trivia #1: Since 1950, which school has won the most NCAA football National Championships? – UCLA, Maryland, Michigan, Arkansas, BYU.

Number of the Week: 5.7 – That’s “minus” 5.7 – The temperature (Fahrenheit) at the start of this year’s NHL Winter Classic, held on New Year’s Day in Minneapolis.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Just when you it was over, more NHL games get canceled. DOH!

Goodbye to Pittsburgh Steeler Ben Roethlisberger, who all but announced his retirement recently. I don’t like the fact that he announced it before his last home game, thereby asking for recognition that night on Monday Night Football, but at least he didn’t pull the “Victory Tour” by announcing it at the beginning of the season like many athletes. Our beloved David Ortiz comes to mind.

Did you catch the halftime show during the Rose Bowl? The Ohio State band did a pretty good “Rush” medley.

Message to Antonio Brown – “See ya!”

Saving $2.75 – you’re doing it wrong. A 28-year-old man in Queens tried to evade the New York subway fare by attempting to jump a turnstile. Apparently, he fell to the floor, hit his head and broke his neck.

The Celtics’ Robert Williams III is the 1st player in NBA history with a triple-double that included ≥ 4 blocks, FG% = 1.000 – (min 5 FGA). He finished with 10 points, 11 rebounds, 10 assists, 5 blocks, 5-5 in field goals and two steals.

If I had a dollar for every time algebra has helped me, I’d have n dollars.

R.I.P. Betty White (99) – Her television career spanned 7 decades and included 7 Emmys and a lifetime achievement Emmy. She was the first woman nominated for an Emmy. Betty White created two of the most memorable characters in sitcom history, Sue Ann Nivens on “The Mary Tylor Moore Show” and Rose Nylund on “The Golden Girls.” Betty also hosted Saturday Night Live at the age of 88!
R.I.P. Dan Reeves (77) – Reeves appeared in 9 Super Bowls – Two as a player (including a Cowboys’ win in Super Bowl VI), assistant coach in three and head coach in four more.
R.I.P. Sam Jones (88) – 10-time NBA champion with the Boston Celtics. Jones had his #24 raised to the Boston Garden rafters, was inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame and was named to the NBA’s 25th, 50th and 75th anniversary teams.

In a related story, Keith Richards is still alive.

Babe Ruth hit 552 homeruns AFTER Betty White was born. Chew on that one.

Trivia #1 answer: Since 1950, which school has won the most NCAA football National Championships? – UCLA, Arizona, Michigan, Arkansas – They have all won one title – (UCLA 1954, Maryland 1953, Michigan 1997, Arkansas 1964, BYU 1984)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Take a little walk on the edge of town
and go across the tracks
Where the viaduct looms
like a bird of doom
As it shifts and cracks
where secrets lie in the border fires,
in hummingbird wires
Hey man, you know you’re never coming back
Past the square, past the bridge,
past the mills, past the stacks
On a gathering storm
comes a tall handsome man
in a dusty black coat
with a red right hand”

– Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds