Friday, July 2, 2021

Briefly.

I’m trying to give up sexual innuendos, but it’s hard… so hard.

Trivia #1: The Nationals’ Kyle Schwarber hit 12 homeruns in 10 games spanning June 12-29. Who is the only other player in MLB history to accomplish the same feat (12 homeruns in 10 games)?
Trivia #2: Who is Miki Sudo?

The Nationals have gone 15-4 since Schwarber’s homerun binge.

Great 8-hole playoff in the PGA’s Traveler’s Championship last Sunday. An additional 2-3 beer watch.

Hey Lebron, shut up!

I’m guessing I’m not the only one who looked up the word ‘conservatorship’ during the past couple of weeks.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Delta Variant… puh-lease!

The band ‘New Kids on the Block’ have to change their name… don’t they??

My heart goes out to the Bruins’ David Pastrnak and his girlfriend whose 6-day-old son, Viggo, died last week.

Man, it was hot in the northeast the past few days, wasn’t it? Hot throughout most of the country really. I hope, if you ventured outdoors, that you dressed for the body you have and not the body you want.

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar… it was tense.

Red Sox reliever Garret Whitlock has the tam’s lowest ERA (1.42) through his first 22 career games at age <= 25.

I love look-a-likes. How about… have you seen the movie “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” Look-a-likes ‘Pete’ and Red Sox reliever Matt Barnes. Uncanny.

Speaking of Matt Barnes… back in the 70’s when life was normal, we would “rag” on an opposing pitcher who threw a pitch short of homeplate: “Hey rag-arm, love those 59-footers!”  The other night Matt Barnes literally threw a 40-footer! I wish I was there for comment.

Sydney McLaughlin, 21, became the first woman to break the 52-second barrier in the 400-meter hurdles. Her world record run (51.90 seconds) crushed the previous record of 52.16 seconds.

Quote for the week: Actually it is the motto for DraftKings: “Life’s more fun with skin in the game”

Despite ‘No Trespassing’ signs for people’s protection, 18-year-old Mariah Brielle “Elle” Schramm climbed to the top of a rock in Johnson’s Shut-Ins State Park in Reynolds County, Missouri, slipped and fell 50 feet into the Black River hitting her head on a rock and dying. (How do accidents similar to this seem to happen so often???)

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed they are not in it.

I don’t care one iota what the ‘exit velocity’ is of a hit in baseball.

Trivia #1 answer: The Nationals’ Kyle Schwarber hit 12 homeruns in 10 games spanning June 12-29. Who is the only other player in MLB history to accomplish the same feat? – Albert Belle in 1995
Trivia #2 answer: Who is Miki Sudo? – Miki is a seven-time Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest winner and women’s world record holder with 48.5 hot dogs eaten in 10 minutes. (Half a hot dog… really?)

Be careful out there.

“And for the support of this Declaration,
with a firm reliance on the protection of divine providence,
we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.”

Happy 4th to all!

Friday, June 25, 2021

Briefly.

I usually don’t brag about going to expensive places, but I just left the gas station.

Trivia #1: What was the fastest growing organized sport in New England in 2020?
Trivia #2: The Tampa Bay Rays’ 41-year-old Rich Hill has played for 10 MLB teams in his career. Which team has he not played for? Oakland, Chicago White Sox, Dodgers, Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Angels
Trivia #3: Which D1 college has won the most College World Series championships? -Arizona, Arizona State, Rice, Texas, Southern California, LSU, Cal State Fullerton
Trivia #4: “United by Emotion” is the motto for what?

What an incredible catastrophe in Surfside, FL. You have to feel for those unfortunate people and their families.

In a related Florida “catastrophe”, the Sox dropped a game to Tampa last night via a walk-off wild pitch in a game where they allowed two hits.

Stop complaining about getting older and start celebrating getting older.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A group of atheists filed a lawsuit Tuesday to remove the phrase “In God We Trust” from Mississippi’s official state license plates. I’ll tell ya, the day I have nothing better to do than protest crap like this… I suppose this same group will start using bitcoin as their currency because the U.S. dollar has the same phrase on it.

Article I will not read: Kevin Durant fires back at Scottie Pippen’s criticism of his teamwork

The Tokyo Olympics begin on Friday, July 23.

Quote for the week: “Hey, I don’t mind being on the back nine, I just don’t want to be on the 17th green!” – A good friend who recently turned 60

Catch-and-release, you’re doing it correctly. Jeremiah Miller, who works for Reel Good Time Guide Service out of Oklahoma, caught a huge paddlefish out of Keystone Lake, back in February. That same fish was caught again Tuesday, with Miller assisting, and this time was large enough (164 lbs.) to set a world record for a paddlefish catch.

Walt Disney World is planning an 18-month celebration, which will being on October 1st,  in honor of its 50th anniversary. 18 months?! What a party!

The Montreal Canadiens are returning to the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time in 28 years. Hard to believe. DYK: In Montreal’s six-game series with the Vegas Golden Knights, that the Knights power play went 0-fer-15?!

The cost of health care in the U.S. has grown worse in recent years as Americans continue taking on unprecedented levels of medical debt. Roughly 21 million Americans holding $46 billion of medical debt as of April 2021 face collections, according to Credit Karma data.

Not only is the LPGA fun to watch, what with the skimpy skirts and all, but damn those chicks are good!

Being cremated is my last chance for a smoking hot body.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Hey, don’t be noting my catch-and-release news above!

As Virginia prepares to legalize adult possession of up to an ounce of marijuana on July 1, drug-sniffing dogs from around the state are being forced into early retirement, following a trend in other states where legalization has led to K-9s being put out to pasture earlier than planned. Which makes me wonder… Are retirement accounts for drug-sniffing dogs are called “401K9s.”

Trivia #1 answer: What was the fastest growing organized sport in New England in 2020? – Tennis which saw participation increase by 27%
Trivia #2 answer: The Tampa Bay Rays’ 41-year-old Rich Hill has played for 10 MLB teams in his career. Which team has he not played for? Oakland, Chicago White Sox, Dodgers, Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Angels – The Chicago White Sox
Trivia #3 answer: Which D1 college has won the most College World Series championships? -Arizona, Arizona State, Rice, Texas, Southern California, LSU, Cal State Fullerton – Southern California (12, none wince 1998). LSU and Texas are second with 6 each
Trivia #4: “United by Emotion” is the motto for what? – The Paralympic Games 2021

Be careful out there.

“(For your love)
I’d give you everything and more, and that’s for sure
(For your love)
I’d bring you diamond rings and things right to your door
(For your love)
To thrill you with delight
I’ll give you diamonds bright
They’ll be things that will excite
To make you dream of me tonight
(For your love)
(For your love)
(For your love)

– The Yardbirds

Friday, June 18, 2021

Briefly.

There is no better karate instructor than a spider web in the face.

Trivia #1: What NHL player won the most Stanley Cups? Bonus: How many? – Maurice Richard, Henri Richard, Wayne Gretzky, Mark Messier, John Beliveau
Trivia #2: Which marine animal is the only known natural predator of the great white shark? – Orca, Giant Squid, Sea Snake, Great Barracuda, Sun Fish
Trivia #3: Who was the Celtics play-by-play man on WBZ-TV from 1978-1980? Hint: His color commentator was Bob Cousy
Trivia #4: How many times does the word “nah” appear in the Beatles’ tune “Hey Jude?”

With upwards of 300 record-high temperatures in jeopardy this week, more than one eighth of the U.S. population – over 40 million people – are on alert across the western US for a long-lasting, potentially lethal heat wave. The hotter it gets, the drier it gets; the drier it gets, the hotter it gets.

Mommy, when can I give Daddy his Father’s Day card? Thursday, when he delivers the milk.

Red Sox television commentator Dave Shea has coined a new phrase – “Home runned.” Last Sunday he noted that Blue Jays’ right fielder Teoscar Hernandez had “home runned” in his previous at-bat. Smoke another one, Dave!

Speaking of Celtics’ commentators… congratulations to Mike Gorman who will be inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame later this year. He is so good and such a class act!

“Cash Considerations” is the purchase of outstanding stock shares of a company using cash as the form of payment. Now “cash considerations” when referred to in a sports trade? That’s nothing but cash, period. They are just being fancy-shmancy saying “cash considerations.”

Are you planning on getting married soon? (suckers) Well, you might be better off having a backyard barbeque/wedding than anything formal. In a vaccination-era wedding boom, wedding venues and other wedding-related vendors are in high demand. Wedding planners and others who “make the magic happen” say they’ve started pushing their bookings into late 2022 and early 2023.

On June 14, 1974, the Angels’ Nolan Ryan threw 235 pitches while striking out 19 (Cecil Cooper 6 times!) in 13 innings. Not to be outdone, the Red Sox’ Luis Tiant pitched all 14 1/3 innings, throwing 163 pitches, in taking the loss. The Angels’ Denny Doyle won the game with a one-out double in the 15th inning.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The “Forever Marylin” statue, which depicts the late actress Marylin Monroe in one of her most famous on-screen moments, is scheduled to return to Palm Springs, CA – but not everyone is happy. Said the Women’s March Inland Empire’s executive director Jenn Carson; “The statue is designed for viewers to walk between the legs, look up her dress and snap a picture of her crotch and buttocks for fun.” Ya… so?

The Brooklyn Nets’ Kevin Durant’s line on Wednesday night: 49 points (on 16 of 23 shooting), 17 rebounds, 10 assists, three steals, two blocks in a full 48 minutes. Herculean!

Article I will not read: Cape Cod divers believe lobsterman’s tale about being swallowed by a whale

Evil Knievel… not! 28-year-old Alex Harvill died after crashing while attempting to break a world-record by jumping with his motorcycle the length of a football field.

Quote for the week: “As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.” – Golfing great, Ben Hogan

Tubing, you’re doing it wrong. Four members of a total group of nine tubers were rescued and were being treated at a North Carolina hospital. Three others were found dead and two remain missing after an apparent mishap along the Dan River near the Virginia state line. The three who were found dead had apparently gone over a dam.

Surgeon: Relax David. It’s just a small surgery, don’t panic.
Patient: My name is not David.
Surgeon: I know. I am David

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Red Sox are 9-0 when Alex Verdugo hits a homerun.

R.I.P. Ned Beatty (83) – Beatty’s career spanned more than four decades and more than 150 movie and TV roles. He was rarely a star but almost always made a strong impression. Personally, I think of two lines when I think of Ned: “Squeal like a pig!” (Deliverance) and “Frank… good!” (Rudy)

Trivia #1 answer:  What NHL player won the most Stanley Cups? Bonus: How many? – Maurice Richard, Henri Richard, Wayne Gretzky, Mark Messier, John Beliveau – Henri Richard (11)
Trivia #2 answer: Which marine animal is the only known natural predator of the great white shark? – Orca, Giant Squid, Sea Snake, Great Barracuda, Sun Fish – Orca
Trivia #3: Who was the Celtics play-by-play man on WBZ-TV from 1978-1980? Hint: His color commentator was Bob Cousy – Roger Twibell
Trivia #4: How many times does the word “nah” appear in the Beatles’ tune “Hey Jude?” – 162

Happy Father’s Day to all you muthas!

Be careful out there.

“And anytime you fell the pain,
Hey, Jude, refrain
Don’t carry the world upon you shoulders
For well you know that it’s a fool
Who plays it cool
By making this world a little colder”

– The Beatles

Friday, June 11, 2021

Briefly.

I will paint a house with a Q-tip before I worry about why you aren’t speaking to me.

Trivia #1: Adam Vinatieri is the all-time NFL kicking leader in field goals (599) and points (2,673) and is second in regular season games played. Who is second in those first two categories and who is first in the last?
Trivia #2: What was the result of Adam Vinatieri’s last field attempt of his career? – Blocked and returned for a touchdown, wide left, good from 51 yards, wide right, good from 37 yards
Trivia #3: Who is the only New England Patriot since 1987 with: Combined tackles > 1,000, Sacks > 30 and Interceptions > 10?

Research shows that NBA player injuries were up after the condensed ’20-’21 season. Well, I did my own research and it showed that they are all just pussies.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A contestant on The Wheel of Fortune read this – THE N_XT GENER_T__N and guessed “THE NEXT BUTTERCUP” – Now, I’m not saying the guy is stupid, I just think he has bad luck when it comes to thinking.

If they are called “scissors” then why isn’t he called “Edward Scissorshands?”

It’s still good to be a Boston sports fan. Win totals in the past 20 regular and post season: Patriots (#1 in the NFL), Red Sox (#3 in MLB), Bruins (#3 in the NHL), Celtics (#3 in the NBA).

Top seed East Catholic High (CT) will play for the Class M championship tomorrow afternoon. East Catholic is led by MLB draft candidate Frank Mozzicato who has a current 42 1/3 inning scoreless streak. Last Saturday he had his 30 1/3 inning hitless streak snapped. He has struck out 113 batters in 46 2/3 innings and has a 0.21 ERA. He is committed to UConn.

Julio Jones is overrated, period. Not worth the price, says me.

Article I will not read: Did You Know Your Body Is Full of Toxins?

After last night’s game the Red Sox are 34-3 when scoring 4 or more runs.

The NBA playoffs are still going on, apparently.

The Mets’ Jake Degrom is having a historic season… or is he. On April 28 he tied Nolan Ryan for the most strikeouts through five starts (59). He currently has 93 K’s in 58 innings and his ERA is 0.62. His 2021 season is already being compared to the legendary Bob Gibson’s 1968 season. However, Degrom is ensnared in a league-wide scandal involving the doctoring of baseballs. He is being accused of cheating, period. I hate that crap. As coach Herman Boone (Remember the Titans) said: “Cheater!”

Quote for the week: My source is weak but the quote is classic. After David Pastrnak’s goal to give the Bruins a 1-0 lead in game 5 against the Islanders, “one” of the color commentators came out with this gem; “That’s hockey, Johnny!” (Am I the only who thinks that is hilarious?)
Quote for the week, part deux: “I don’t scratch my head unless it itches and I don’t dance unless I hear music.” – Coach Herman Boone

The World Bank on Tuesday said it expects the global economy to rebound by the fastest pace in 80 years, although many of the world’s emerging and developing economies will continue to face an uphill battle through the recovery.

Speaking of the Bruins… there will be no Bruins/Canadiens Stanley Cup playoff. What a disappointing end to the season. Tuukka may be on his way out but a good deal of the blame should fall on the coaching staff.

Speaking of coaching staffs… when is someone going to take the fall for the Yankees historically poor start to this season? While manager Aaron Boone insists that the Bombers will emerge from their malaise and turn things around, after 60 games, things are not going well, at all. The yanks are 14th in the AL in runs, 12th in batting average and 13th in slugging, their .228 batting average and 7.4 hits per game are their lowest since 1968. They have grounded into 0.97 double plays per game, highest in the majors. Their 3.71 runs per game are their lowest since 1972.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Fingernails grow three times faster than toenails.

Sayonara Adam Vinatieri who, at age 48, is retiring from the NFL as the all-time leading scorer. (Remember that first Super Bowl win in 2002?!)

R.I.P. Dante Coppola (76) – Former Haverhill police officer, Vietnam veteran, proud father, proud grandfather, active Garibaldi Club member, all-around great guy.

Trivia #1 answer: Adam Vinatieri is the all-time NFL kicking leader in field goals (599) and points (2,673) and is second in regular season games played. Who is second in those first two categories and who is first in the last? – Morten Anderson is the answer to both
Trivia #2 answer: What was the result of Adam Vinatieri’s last field attempt of his career? – Blocked and returned for a touchdown, wide left, good from 51 yards, wide right, blocked and recovered, good from 37 yards – Blocked and returned for a touchdown
Trivia #3 answer: Who is the only New England Patriot since 1987 with: Combined tackles > 1,000, Sacks > 30 and Interceptions > 10? – Tedy Bruschi

Be careful out there.

“At the ‘Copa, Copacabana…” – just kidding

“Mother, mother
There’s too many of you crying
Brother, brother, brother
There’s far too many of you dying
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some lovin’ here today”

– Marvin Gaye

Friday, June 4, 2021

Briefly.

My friend David had his ID stolen. Now he’s just Dav.

AOC was called out last weekend for saying “Enjoy your long weekend” without acknowledging why we even celebrate the long weekend. Last Friday in my blog, though related more to COVID restrictions lightening up, I said virtually the same thing. So… let me say here that I meant no disrespect to the men and women who have served and are serving our great country. Thank you.

Trivia #1: Three players in NBA history have more 50-point games than Jason Tatum at 23-years old or younger in reg/post/play-in season games. Tatum has four such games. Name the players, bonus if you get them in order.
Trivia #2: What does ‘ROYGBIV’ represent?
Trivia #3: Former Utah Jazz great, Mark Eaton (64), died tragically on Saturday in an apparent bicycling accident. Eaton is fifth all-time in career blocks with 3,064. What four players have had more blocks?
Trivia #4: (just as difficult as #3) – What NBA player besides Mark Eaton is in the top ten in career blocks and not in the Hall of Fame?
Trivia #5: (one more ‘blocks’ question) – Who is the active leader in career blocked shots?

What a series going on between the Islanders and Bruins!

Dr. Fauci, please go away.

The weather this past weekend stunk here in New England and I watched a fair amount of baseball on TV – (Red Sox, college WS, softball, too). I love the game of baseball. After all is said and done, it is my sport. And while most of us have good memories of sports, many different sports in many different aspects (playing, watching, coaching) I’ll admit this: Baseball played in the cold rain sucks, period. Other sports can be tolerable, but I’ve practiced, played, coached and watched baseball in the cold, in the rain and both. Those memories are not good.

Hold on folks, prices are rising! U.S. consumer prices in April were up about 3.1% compared with February 2020, the month before the pandemic shutdown the economy. Data published last Friday showed a separate measure of inflation surging 3.6% last month, and underlying inflation excluding volatile gas and food prices gaining 3.1%, its largest annual increase since 1992.

As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th season, I would like to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.

Please, can someone explain why the National Anthem singers at sporting events still wear masks.

There was a car race last weekend. The cars went wicked fast. One car drove faster than all of the others.

If you know someone looking for a “bacon tester”… just sayin’.

Did you see Jordan Spieth nearly fall into the bunker on the 15th hole last weekend? I’m playing in a tournament today and expect nothing less out there.

Speaking of golf, what for it! I see it happen in the PGA all the time. After the round on the 18th green, a player removes his hat and runs his fingers through his sweaty hair, with his right hand! He then reaches out to shake hands. Sometimes the recipient retaliates with a fist-pump, other times unsuspectingly gets the “sweaty handshake.” Ewwww!

Tarzan is dead! Joe Lara, who was known for playing Tarzan in the early 1990’s television series ‘Tarzan: The Epic Adventures’ died Saturday in a plane crash over Tennessee with his wife, Gwen, and five other people. He was 58 years old.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: David Pastrnak scored the first goal by a Bruin with attendance at full capacity this past Saturday night and the last goal by a Bruin with attendance at full capacity (3/7/20).

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: NYT columnist Kate Murphy suggested that people curate their social circles by weeding out people who appear depressed, are obese, or engage in legal vices like smoking or drinking. Those friends, she said, make a person more likely to engage in said vices or to become overweight or depressed themselves.

I’ve always wondered if songbirds get mad at hummingbirds for not knowing the words.

R.I.P. Mark Eaton (64) – see above

Trivia #1 answer: Three players in NBA history have more 50-point games than Jason Tatum at 23-years old or younger in reg/post/play-in season games. Name them, bonus if you get them in order. – Rick Barry (8), Wilt Chamberlain (7), LeFraud James (5)
Trivia #2 answer: What does ‘ROYGBIV’ represent? – The colors of the rainbow – Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet (DYK: In Ireland, a new method to remember the colours of the rainbow has been launched in schools; “Respect Others You Grow By Including Variety)
Trivia #3: Former Utah Jazz great, Mark Eaton (64), died tragically on Saturday in an apparent bicycling accident. Eaton is fifth all-time in career blocks with 3,064. What four players have had more blocks? – Artis Gilmore (3,178), Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (3,189), Dikembe Mutombo (3,289) and Hakeem Olajuwon (3,830)
Trivia #4: (just as difficult as #3) – What NBA player besides Mark Eaton is in the top ten in career blocks and not in the Hall of Fame? – Tree Rollins (#10 with 2,542 blocks)
Trivia #5: (one more ‘blocks’ question) – Who is the active leader in career blocked shots? – Dwight Howard (15th – 2,192)

Be careful out there.

“When sadness fills my days
It’s time to turn away
And then tomorrow’s dreams
Become reality to me”

– Black Sabbath

Friday, May 28, 2021

Briefly.

Telling your luggage there will be no vacation this year can be tough. Emotional baggage is the worst!

Trivia #1: Who is the lead guitarist on David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance?”
Trivia #2: How many times has John Daly made the cut at the PGA Championship since his victory in 1991? – 0, 1, 2, 6, 9, 12, 15, 28
Trivia #3: Food Network icon Guy Fieri recently signed a contract extension for three years, $80 million. Where would that salary put him on the list of top NFL salaries in terms of AAV (average annual salary)? – 1st, 2nd, 7th, 10th, 15th, 25th, 33rd, 90th

Congratulations to 50-year-old Phil “Lefty” Mickelson who became the oldest player ever to win a major on the PGA tour when he won last weekend’s PGA Championship at Kiawah Island, SC. What a scene around the 18th green on Sunday!

Quote for the week: “I’ve failed many times in my life and career and because of this I’ve learned a lot. Instead of feeling defeated countless times, I’ve used it as fuel to drive me to work harder. So today, join me in accepting our failures. Let’s use them to motivate us to work even harder.” – Phil Mickelson, two weeks before his recent PGA Championship.

Speaking of the PGA Championship, John “Wild Thing” Daly was tied atop the leaderboard last weekend, albeit for a brief moment. Daly chipped in from the bunker on the 1st hole and must have been felling pretty good. Them the wheels immediately fell of the cart with double bogeys on the 3rd and 4th holes. Daly went on to record a +27 score of 97.

A square is a rectangle. A rectangle is not a square.

Did you happen to see Toronto Maple Leafs’ player John Tavares take an accidental knee to the head last week? He was out cold! Good to know he was out of the hospital the next day. He’s a hockey player!

I’m not sure what it is but I mistype the word “hosiptal” EVERY freaking time!

May 29th is a big day in Massachusetts as many COVID restrictions are being lifted. Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend!

Baltimore Orioles great, Brooks Robinson celebrated his 83rd birthday last week. Regarded by many as the greatest third baseman of all-time, Robinson was also referred to as a true gentleman. I came upon this quote while perusing his legacy: “There’s not a man who knows him who wouldn’t swear for his integrity and honestly and give testimony to his consideration of others. He’s an extraordinary human being, which is important, and the world’s greatest third baseman… which is incidental.”  – John Steadman, Baltimore Sun

One more gem on Brooks Robinson: “He’s not at his locker yet, but fours guys are over there interviewing his glove.” – Rex Barney

Go ahead and get older, just don’t get old.

Trivia #1 hint: Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Keith Richards, Alvin Lee, Jackson Brown, David Bowie

You have to love long-time Red Sox radio announcer Joe Castiglione! Often, either when the Sox blow a rally or especially on the last out of a loss, Joe sounds as though he’s lost a loved one.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A Michigan woman was fined $385 for talking on her cell phone too loud while talking and walking down the street. (Now granted, she bitched at the cop who drove up after a neighbor complained but still…)

Trivia #1 answer: Who is the lead guitarist on David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance?” – Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Keith Richards, Alvin Lee, Jackson Brown, David Bowie – Stevie Ray Vaughn
Trivia #2: How many times has John Daly made the cut at the PGA Championship since his victory in 1991? – 0, 1, 2, 6, 9, 12, 15, 28 – 6 times
Trivia #3: Food Network icon Guy Fieri recently signed a contract extension for three years, $80 million. Where would that salary put him on the list of top NFL salaries in terms of AAV (average annual salary)? – 1st, 2nd, 7th, 10th, 15th, 25th, 33rd, 90th – 15th

I’m offering dead batteries to any who wants them. Free of charge.

Be careful out there.

“Now they say your folks are telling you
Be a super star
But I tell you just be satisfied
Stay right where you are

Keep yourself alive
Keep yourself alive
It’ll take you all your time and money
Honey you’ll survive.”

– Queen

Friday, May 21, 2021

Briefly.

I haven’t lost all my marbles yet… but apparently there is a small hole in the bag.

Trivia #1: What player had the longest touchdown reception in Gillette Stadium history?
Trivia #2: Arnold Palmer and Jordan Spieth are among three players missing the PGA Championship for the career Grand Slam. Who is the other? – Raymond Floyd, Tom Watson, Sam Snead, Tiger Woods, Gary Player

Another 3, one-goal games in the NHL playoffs last night. There have been 14 such games this postseason with 9 of those ending in OT, including one in two OT’s. The Bruins and Capitals have now played 12, straight one-goal playoff games. Ahhh, playoff hockey!

One more on the Bruins/Capitals. The Bruins have led in the series for 8 minutes and 47 seconds. The Caps have led for 156:33.

What a great win for the Sox last night as J.D. Martinez cracked his 250th career dinger with two outs in the 9th for the 8-7 back-n-forth, comeback victory. The win keeps our Red Sox in first place and it came against the Toronto Blue Jays, a team everyone talks about. So, when are they going to start talking about the Sox???

When I was a kid I thought the epitome of wealth and sophistication was having a jar a Grey Poupon in the fridge.

Quote for the week: “I just want my name on the damn Cup.” – Bruins coach Bruce Cassidy

In rare NAZCAR news, Danica Patrick is returning to the Indy 500 this year… to drive the pace car.

Don’t look now but Tuukka Rask has tied Gerry Cheevers for career playoff wins with the Bruins.

The major league batting average was .237 as of last night. The lowest ever was in the “Year of the Pitcher” in 1968 (.238).

There are 13 players in the American League who are batting > .300, 5 of them are with the Houston Astros.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers played golf with Denver Broncos’ President of Football Operations John Elway.

Speaking of the NBA, the Celtics won their “play-in” game on Tuesday. They now play the Brooklyn Nets tomorrow night. That’s just enough time in between games for me to totally lose interest. I do want them to beat the Nets (badly), but can’t say I’ll see too much action.

Having said that, the Celtics could be part of a Boston triple-header next Tuesday night if a Bruins/Caps game is necessary. Let’s hope not!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Bitcoin, Litecoin, Peercoin, Namecoin, Dogecoin, etc.

Trivia #1 answer: What player had the longest touchdown reception in Gillette Stadium history? – Ben Watson from Tom Brady (63 yards), January 7, 2006 vs. Jacksonville
Trivia #2: Arnold Palmer and Jordan Spieth are among three players missing the PGA Championship for the career Grand Slam. Who is the other? – Raymond Floyd, Tom Watson, Sam Snead, Tiger Woods, Gary Player – Tom Watson

Remember, the more you weigh the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat more cake!

Be careful out there.

“There are men high up there fishing,
Haven’t seen quite enough of the world,
I ain’t seen a sign of my heroes,
And I’m still diving down for pearls.

Let me flow into the ocean,
Let me get back to the sea,
Let me be stormy and let me be calm,
Let the tide in, and set me free.”

– The Who

Friday, May 14, 2021

Briefly. (very)

Today is a good day to have a great day. For starters, I set another personal record today – consecutive days alive!

Trivia #1: For you “dart heads” – What is the highest possible score in darts using 3 darts?

Trivia #2: Which team set an NHL record by playing 26 games in the 1987 playoffs? – Edmonton Oilers, Boston Bruins, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Chicago Blackhawks

Going to McDonald’s for a salad is like going to a hooker for a hug.

Yes, it’s early (roughly 25% into the season) but our Red Sox are still in first place.

The NHL playoffs begin tomorrow. Go B’s. Is it Tuukka time?? Not felling it but I hope so. Sway… man!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Colorado Avalanche have been awarded the Presidents’ Cup as the top seed in the NHL playoffs. – There’s really an award for that??? Who’s resume does that go on?

I do feel bad for Jaylen Brown. I like the guy. However, the Celtics were going nowhere with hm and are certainly going nowhere without him. Is it time for Stevens (and Ainge) to step down or do they get another chance? I say one more year.

Quote for the week: “First of all, it was hotter than hell out there, like a whore in church.” – New York Jets draft pick Zach Wilson’s mother.

Drunks run stop signs. Potheads wait for them to turn green.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Roughly 45 days ago, CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky spoke of “impending doom” regarding the state of Covid-19. Yesterday, the CDC announced it has revised its mask guidance again, now enabling those who are fully vaccinated to forgo wearing masks both indoors and outdoors.

If you happen to find dryer sheets in your mailbox, there is a reason. Postal workers say that the dryer sheets keep wasps away. Hey, I’m here to educate.                                                                                                                                                                                

How’s my golf game, you ask? Let’s just say that I’m more apt to yell “fore” than I am to score a four.

Where’s the “D!?” The Portland Trailblazers scored a franchise record 50 points in the first quarter the other night against the Houston Rockets while tying an NBA record for three pointers in a quarter (12). The Celtics played their first game ever where both teams had 70+ points at the half. Since the new Boston Garden opened in 1995, the Celtics have allowed >-70 points in the first half 4 times in the last 19 games. In the previous 1,007 games they also did that 4 times.

A California woman purchased a $26 million winning lottery ticket in November, but accidently put the ticket in the pocket of her pants that went through the laundry. California lottery officials would neither confirm or deny the existence of surveillance video confirming evidence of the purchase. DYK: If the prize goes unclaimed the one-time payout of $19.7 million goes to California’s public schools.

And I ain’t got no worries because I ain’t in no hurry, at all.

Trivia #1 answer: For you “dart heads” – What is the highest possible score in darts using 3 darts? – 180
Trivia #2: Which team set an NHL record by playing 26 games in the 1987 playoffs? – Edmonton Oilers, Boston Bruins, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Chicago Blackhawks – Philadelphia Flyers

Be careful out there.

“Chewin’ at a rhythm on my bubble gum
The sun is out, I want some
It’s not hard, not far to reach
We can hitch a ride to Rockaway Beach”

– The Ramones

Friday, May 7, 2021

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Briefly.

Never let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. Just look at Beethoven. Everyone told him he would never be a musician, just because he was deaf. But did he listen?

Trivia #1: What former Red Sox outfielder is tied for the league lead in “caught stealing?”

Trivia #2: What is a female donkey called? – Jack, Jenny, Shirley, Jade, Karen

Trivia #3: Alex Ovechkin has the most points amongst Russian-born players in NHL history? Who is second? – Pavel Datsyuk, Pavel Bure, Sergei Fedorov, Ilya Kovalchuk, Wayne Cashman

There have been 3 no-hitters in the majors this season and that doesn’t include Madison Bumgarner’s 7-inning effort. As analyst Tim Kurkjian noted, “…everyone throws 95+ and has at least one almost unhittable pitch…”

So, Bill and Melinda Gates are splitting up after 27 years of marriage. “… we ask for space and privacy for our family as we begin to navigate this new life.” Ya, good luck with that. I read one article “Sources alleged to TMZ…”

The Red Sox Franchy Cordero, mired in a 0-25 slump, went 3-5 last night and made a great defensive play. Hey, work with me here.

Speaking of the Red Sox, I’m as optimistic as they get but let’s keep in mind that April was their most Fenway-friendly month on their calendar.

Speaking of the Bruins, they’ve won 5 of their last 6 and are looking good. Interesting goalie battle with Rask, Swayman and Halak.

Speaking of the Celtics, it is painful for me to watch. Is it coach Brad Stevens? I don’t know but their chances of advancing past the first round of the playoffs are bleak.

Bleak, good word.

Congratulations to local Pat “Baby Gronk” Freiermuth, the 6’5”, 251 lb. former Penn St. tight end who was drafted in the 2nd round by the Steelers, 55th overall. Freiermuth is from Merrimac MA, next town over.

Quote for the week: “A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.” – Winston Churchill

After a banner draft, coach Urban Meyer (not a fan) and the Jacksonville Jaguars yesterday fired four staffers who had a combined 66 years with the team.

Funny game, baseball. One of the game’s best hitter, the Detroit Tigers’ Miguel Cabrera was 0 for his last 23 (as of Wednesday) and has struck out at a 33.8 percent rate compared to his career 17.4% rate.

Really, I think both Bill and Melinda Gates will be just fine.

The Angels’ Shohei Ohtani is batting .273 with 10 homeruns, 24 RBI and 6 stolen bases. He is also 1-0 with 19 walks and 30 K’s in 18.2 innings. Stud.

An invisible man and invisible woman married. I’m not sure what they saw in each other. Their kids were nothing to look at either.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A female, sixth grade student opened fire at an Idaho middle school Thursday morning, wounding a custodian and two other students before being disarmed by a teacher and taken into custody. When I was in the 6th grade all I thought about in my spare time was playing basketball at recess the next day.

50-year-old Phil “Lefty” Mickelson shot a 7-under par 64 yesterday to grab a 2-stroke lead in the Wells Fargo Championship. Stay tuned.

Speaking of wicked old guys, 41-year-old Albert Pujols has been cut by the Anaheim Angels. Pujols, fifth in major league history with 667 career homeruns and 13th with 3,253 hits was batting .198 when he was cut.

Trivia #1 answer: What former Red Sox outfielder is tied for the league lead in “caught stealing?” – Andrew Benintendi (4)

Trivia #2 answer: What is a female donkey called? – Jack, Jenny, Shirley, Jade, Karen – Jenny

Trivia #3 answer: Alex Ovechkin has the most points amongst Russian-born players in NHL history? Who is second? – Pavel Datsyuk, Pavel Bure, Sergei Fedorov, Ilya Kovalchuk, Wayne Cashman – Sergei Fedorov

Be careful out there.

“Guess I got what I deserved Kept you waiting there too long, my love All that time without a word Didn’t know you’d think that I’d forget or I’d regret The special love I had for you, my baby blue”

– Badfinger

Friday, April 30, 2021

Briefly.

People cheating on their taxes disgusts me. This is not the world I want to raise my 23 dependents in.

Trivia #1: On Wednesday night, Jason Tatum and Jaylen Brown became just the 2nd set of Celtics teammates, in a regular season game, where both players had >= 35 points, >= 7 rebounds and >= 4 assists. Who are the other two players?

Trivia #2: What does “Impfneid” mean?

Trivia #3: Which school is not in the top five of schools that have provided the most 1st round NFL draft picks since 1980 – Florida State, Ohio State, Alabama, USC, Miami (FL), Florida

I’m not sure about you, but I can picture myself sitting next to Mel Kiper, turning and telling him to STFU.

I enjoyed the 1st round of the NFL draft last night. ICYMI, the first three picks were quarterbacks, the Jags became the first team ever to select both a QB and RB (Trevor Lawrence and Travis Etienne) from the same school (Clemson) in the first round and “your New England Patriots” got the QB they seemingly wanted without having to move up. In Bill I trust!

Why does it seem as though every time that Jason Tatum touches the ball, he shoots? Why does it seem as though every time that Jaylen Brown touches the ball, he shoots? OK, not EVERY time but you get the picture.

Red Sox reliever Garrett Whitlock, plucked from the Yankees in the offseason via the Rule 5 Draft, has incredible “stuff” that just seems to be getting better. He throws a 95 mph sinker and an 83 mph changeup, big differential. Fun to watch.

The Red Sox’ new offseason acquisition Franchy Cordero has struck out 25 times in his 47 at-bats this season. In the 19 games where he has had an official at-bat, he has had at least one strike out in all but 3 of them.

Sex… and drugs… and rock n roll.

The Toronto Maple Leafs clinched a playoff spot. Already?!

Hmmm. Indonesian officials working to determine how a military submarine with 53 crew members sunk earlier this month during a training exercise said the vessel may have been hit by an internal solitary wave in the treacherous waters off  Bali.

Even when the shift (MLB) proves itself effective, I don’t like it.

In the Mets 1-0 loss to the Red Sox the other night, pitcher Jake deGrom tied Nolan Ryan for the most strikeouts (59) through his first five starts of a season. Poor Jake allowed one or fewer runs for the 33rd time in his career, third this season, and still picked up the loss, most in the majors since he made his debut in 2014.

Sometimes I like to mess with my family and put their stuff where they can’t find it. Like I put their shoes in the shoe closet, their jacket on a hanger and their keys on the key hook.

In the last 100 Bruins games where Brad Marchand has scored a goal, the Bruins are 80-10-10. Let me add that Taylor Hall has scored 5 goals in his first 10 games with the Bruins. He had scored 5 goals in his previous 50 games.

Trivia #1 hint: The year was 1970

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Chicago is sending specially equipped buses into neighborhoods to deliver COVID-19 vaccines, Detroit is offering $50 to people who give others a ride to vaccination sites, and starting Monday will send workers to knock on every door  in the city to help residents sign up for shots. Other places around the U.S. are offering other incentives from free beer, pot and doughnuts, savings bonds and a chance to win an all-terrain vehicle.

Trivia #1 answer: On Wednesday night, Jason Tatum and Jaylen Brown became just the 2nd set of Celtics teammates, in a regular season game, where both players had >= 35 points, >= 7 rebounds and >= 4 assists. Who are the other two players? – John Havlicek and Don Nelson on 2/25/70

Trivia #2 answer: What does “Impfneid” mean? – Impfneid means “vaccination envy” and is one of more than 1,200 words added to the German vocabulary during the pandemic.

Trivia #3 answer: Which school is not in the top five of schools that have provided the most 1st round NFL draft picks since 1980 – Florida State, Ohio State, Alabama, USC, Miami (FL), Florida – Florida State (#6)

Be careful out there.

“In a place you only dream of
Where your soul is always free
Silver stages, golden curtains
Filled my head, plain as can be
As a rainbow grew around the sun
All the stars above who died came from
Somewhere beyond the scene you see
These lovely people played just for me

Green grass and high tides forever”

– Outlaws