Blog

Briefly. (I’m just trying to give you a brief diversion from the shitshow(s))

Be the reason someone smiles today… or the reason they drink. Whatever works.

Trivia #1: Michael Phelps has 23 gold medals, more than most countries. Where does he rank in total gold medals against the world? – 11^th, 29th, 32^nd, 38^th, 44^th, 50^th, 61^st

Trivia #2: Tom Brady is just the second player in NFL history to go to the playoffs in 12 consecutive seasons. Who is the other?

Trivia #3: How many planets in our solar system are not named after a god or goddess?

Trivia #4: In what season year did the NFL wildcard weekend include both a Saturday and Sunday game at the Meadowlands? Bonus: what teams played in each game?

People often ask; “Ed, what can you tell me about Fan Controlled Football?” – Well, two-time WNBA champion Renee Montgomery is the first female Team Owner in FCF is beyond excited to join the Beasts.

Good news: A Somerset, MA police officer responded to a call at the local Stop & Shop of a woman shoplifting. She was at the self check-put line and skipping the scanner putting items directly into her bags. She was with her two young children. The officer, who has two kids of his own, learned that the woman had no job and was stealing food for their holiday dinner. He said she was stealing nothing but food, no personal items (health, beauty items or anything of the like) so instead of arresting her he bought her a $250 gift card.

We all wondered about the lack of home field advantage in the NFL this season, didn’t we(?), what with no fans allowed at most games. Visiting teams had a collective 128-127-1 mark for the 2020 season. Over the prior 50 seasons home teams had a .575 winning percentage.

In other news… the seven dwarfs have been advised that they can only meet in groups of six. One of them isn’t Happy.

On January 4, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service removed grey wolves from the endangered species list leaving the management of wolf populations to state authorities. The next day Wisconsin announced it will be hosting its first wolf hunting season since 2014.

I watched a replay of the greatest comeback in football history the other night. You know, in “The Longest Yard” when the prisoners came from three touchdowns back in the 4^th quarter to beat the guards.

This is the time of the year when we must succumb to watching ESPN’s Sports Center’s “Top 10” each day and each day we watch dunks. Dunks! Mostly men, college and professional, guys who are often more than 7-feet tall throwing the basketball into a hoop ten feet high. Here’s a suggestion: why not have a “Kids’ Top 10” and let them watch the seemingly entertaining dunks and give us sports fans some actual top 10 “plays”?

You translate. A South Carolina man hospitalized with coronavirus for two months says his wife’s voice helped him out of a coma. Now, was that a sooth, loving, encouraging voice or a loud, screeching voice telling him to get better so he can get home and finish the dishes?

Article I’ll skip: “Why Kurt Cobain’s ‘90’s cardigan is trending”

Useless headline of the week: “Ball brothers, Lonza, LaMelo set to square off in NBA matchup” – Really, other thn family, does anyone give a shit?

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Need I say? I mean, WTF!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse part deux: Dozens of cases and one death among Kaiser Permanente employees in San Jose have been linked to an inflatable costume worn by a staffer on Christmas.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse part trois (now there’s a new one!): The NHL sold the naming rights of its four divisions for the first time in its history. The league announced Tuesday that its teams will play in Scotia NHL North Division, Honda NHL West Division, Discover NHL Central Division and the MassMutual NHL East Division.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Todd McShay put out his mock 2021 NFL draft

Quote for the week: “Sometimes there just aren’t enough rocks” – Forrest Gump

I have to admit it’s surreal to see Tom Brady in the playoffs with a team other than the Patriots. Go Redskins!

I am forever disappointed that chef Bobby Flay didn’t name his daughter “Sue”.

Trivia #1 answer: Michael Phelps has 23 gold medals, more than most countries. Where does he rank in total gold medals against the world? – 11^th, 29th, 32^nd, 38^th, 44^th, 50^th, 61^st – 38^th

Trivia #2 answer: Tom Brady is just the second player in NFL history to go to the playoffs in 12 consecutive seasons. Who is the other? – Current Tennessee Titans kicker Steve Gostkowski

Trivia #3 answer: How many planets in our solar system are not named after a god or goddess? – One – Earth

Trivia #4 answer: In what year did the NFL wildcard weekend include both a Saturday and Sunday game at the Meadowlands? Bonus: what teams played in each game? – 1985 – The Jets lost to New England 26-14 on Saturday and on Sunday the Giants beat San Francisco 17-3.

Be careful out there.

“In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
There’s a land that’s fair and bright
Where the handouts grow on bushes
And you sleep out every night

Where the boxcars are all empty
And the sun shines every day
And the birds and the bees
And the cigarette trees

The lemonade springs
Where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountain”

– Harry McClintock

Briefly.

Happy New Year!

I stayed up last night not to see the new year in, but to make sure the prior one left.

Never make a snow angel in a dog park.

Trivia #1: What is the most commonly shoplifted food in the world?

Trivia #2: I didn’t know the “Gilligan’s Island” cast had last names as in recently deceased Dawn Wells as Mary Ann Summers. What were the last names of the others, excluding of course the Howells?

Trivia #3: Name the two conferences that have never sent a team to a BCS (Bowl Championship Series) bowl.

Trivia #4: Which of the following celebrities never played college football? Bonus to name where the others played. – Bill Cosby, Tommy Lee Jones, Vin Diesel, John Goodman, Nick Nolte, Gerald Ford, Mark Harmon, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson

Trivia #5: Who is the oldest Stooge? – Larry, Moe, Shemp, Joe, Curly

Trivia #6: Zdeno Chara was drafted by which NHL team in 1996?

Trivia #7: USC has appeared in the Rose Bowl more times than any other school (34). What school is second? – Ohio State, Washington, Stanford, Michigan, UCLA, Wisconsin

Go Irish!

Please, just once, call traveling in the NBA. For the love of God, just once!!!!

Have you heard yet of the Fan Controlled League? It’s coming soon. This will be a real, actual football league where fans control everything about their team from the name of it to the coaches they sign and decisions those same coaches make. More to come on the details.

Good news: Ahold Delhaize, the largest grocery retail group on the East Coast with brands including Stop & Shop, Food Lion, Giant Food, The GIANT Company and Hannaford, on Tuesday announced a $10 million relief package to address critical needs in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic.

Puh-lease! “Lori Loughlin has tearful reunion with daughters after prison release”

Tom Brady is the first player in NFL history to play 20+ seasons with one team and then go on to make the playoffs with another.

Headline of the week: “Kentucky man goes viral for clearing snowy driveway with a flamethrower” – Man, and I thought using a snow blower was fun.

Remember when the Pittsburgh Steelers were 11-0? That was dope!

Quote for the week: “You can only be young once, but you can always be immature.” – Louisiana Senator John Kennedy

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Lute Letlow, newly elected member of Congress from Louisiana, died from complications related to COVID-19. Letlow (41) was a husband, father of two and days from being sworn into office. Now look, I know this shit is happening every day it’s just that some stories for whatever reason, seem to hit harder than others.

I may be wrong, but I doubt it.

Next Gen useless stat of the week: Philadelphia QB Jalen Hurts is second in the NFL in “Average Intended Air Yards” at 9.8 yards. Hey, good intentions.

I want a simple life. I want to get up late, drink tea and read old books. I also want a spaceship and a pet dragon.

Trivia #1 answer: t is the most commonly shoplifted food in the world? – Cheese

Trivia #2 answer: I didn’t know the “Gilligan’s Island” cast had last names as in recently deceased Dawn Wells as Mary Ann Summers. What were the last names of the others, excluding of course the Howells? – Ginger Grant, Professor Roy Hinckley, Jonas ‘The Skipper’ Grumby and Gilligan, who had no last name.

Trivia #3 answer: Name the two conferences that have never sent a team to a BCS (Bowl Championship Series) bowl. – Conference USA and the Sun Belt

Trivia #4 answer: Which of the following celebrities never played college football? Bonus to name where the others played. – Vin Diesel. The others: Bill Cosby (Temple), Tommy Lee Jones (Harvard), John Goodman (‘Southwest’ Missouri State), Nick Nolte (Arizona State), Gerald Ford (Michigan), Mark Harmon (UCLA), Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson (University of Miami)

Trivia #5 answer: Who is the oldest Stooge? – Larry, Moe, Shemp, Joe, Curly – Shemp

Trivia #6 answer: Zdeno Chara was drafted by which NHL team in 1996? – The New York Islanders

Trivia #7 answer: USC has appeared in the Rose Bowl more times than any other school (34). What school is second? – Ohio State, Washington, Stanford, Michigan, UCLA, Wisconsin – Michigan (20)

R.I.P. Phil Niekro (81) – Legendary, Hall of Fame knuckleball pitcher played 24 years in the majors, 21 with the Atlanta Braves.                 He finished his career with 318 wins, 2,912 strikeouts, 226 complete games and was a five-time All-Star and five-time Gold Glove winner.

R.I.P. Dawn Wells (82) – Miss Nevada in 1959 before she was casted in “Gilligan’s Island” in 1964 as Mary Ann Summers.

R.I.P. Sam Little (80) – Referred to as the country’s most prolific serial killer, confessed to more than 90 slayings. He was a former boxer and investigators said the believe he knocked out his victims with a punch before strangling them while masturbating.

Be careful out there.

“We’re gonna cause talk and suspicion
We’re gonna give an exhibition
We’re gonna find out what it is all about
After midnight, we’re gonna let it all hang down
After midnight, we’re gonna let it all hang down”

– Eric Clapton

Briefly.

“Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow”

Trivia #1: Where did the Grinch live?

Trivia #2: What does campanology mean?

Trivia #3: What is legendary sportscaster Brent Musburger’s middle name?

“Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel – born is the King of Israel”

There’s being hungry and then there’s getting sushi from a gas station.

“Well maybe just a half a drink more – Put some music on while I pour”

DYK: Brent Musburger (81) is the lead broadcaster and managing editor at Vegas Stats and Information Network (VSiN) and the radio play-by-play voice of the Las Vegas Raiders.

“Just remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your own heart”

Headline of the week: “My husband and I are planning on giving our daughter a home for Christmas. Are we making a mistake?” – Who are these people??? BTW, another Christmas, another day there’s no Mercedes in my driveway with a bow on it.

“Sleep in heavenly peace”

The University of Arizona has hired the New England Patriots’ quarterback coach Jedd Fisch as their new head coach. I guess that is because he did such a good job with Cam Newton this past season. DOH!

“You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear, voices singing let’s be jolly, deck the halls with boughs of holly”

Don’t eat December snow, it’s just not ripe.

“O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree, much pleasure doth thou bring me” – for you locals, remember to save your Christmas tree for my personal, off-winter burning entertainment!

Joining in prayer… you’re doing it wrong. 37-year old Jesse Martinez shared a two-person room with an 82-year old man at Antelope Valley Hospital in Los Angeles. Both were being treated for COVID-19. The two did not know each other but the elderly victim’s Catholic praying upset Martinez on the morning of December 17. Martinez is accused of grabbing an oxygen tank and pummeling the victim to his death.

“’Tis the season to be jolly”

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart!

Good news: 57-year old Mary Shannon Daniel, whose husband has early-onset Alzheimer’s and is an assisted living facility, took a second job as a dishwasher with a cleaning crew to get around coronavirus restrictions  barring visitors. Daniel made headlines after posting about her being reunited with her husband after an unbearable 114 days. (Godspeed to any of you out there going through anything similar)

“Ding, dong, ding dong… that is their song”

Pittsburgh wide receiver JuJu Smith-Shuster has announced that he will no longer dance on his opponent’s midfield logo, or his own, before games. This is after coach Mike Tomlin said he would speak with Smith-Shuster this past week. Tomlin said the dancing was simply a sign  of disrespect. I should not that apparently the act was not disrespectful while the team was 11-0, but it became disrespectful after the team’s 3-game losing streak. Mike Tomlin is a buffoon.

“Bells are ringing, children singing, all is merry and bright”

I keep trying to see your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head quite that far up my ass.

“You’re a crocked dirty jockey and you drive a crocked hoss, Mr. Grinch”

Get your relatives speaking to one another again by sending a heartfelt Christmas card with a picture of your family with an extra child nobody knows.

“All is calm, all is bright”

Next Gen useless stat of the week: The Green Bay Packers’ tight end Robert Tonyan has the highest catch percentage in the NFL at 89.09%. Second is Tampa Bay’s Chris Godwin at 80.88%.

Quote for the week: “Surprised Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” – Clark Griswold

Quote for the week, part deux: “And I had a little help from Jack Daniels.” – Clark Griswold’s father

Trivia #1 answer: Where did the Grinch live? – Mount Crumpit

Trivia #2: What does campanology mean? – Campanology is the art or practice of bell-ringing

Trivia #3: What is legendary sportscaster Brent Musburger’s middle name? – Woody

Merry Christmas everyone and be careful out there.

“Fahoo Fores Dahoo Dores
Welcome Christmas bring your cheer
Fahoo fores Dahoo Dores
Welcome all Whos far and near”

– Dr. Suess

Briefly.

Seeing how some people wear their masks, I now understand how contraceptives fail.

Trivia #1: Was exactly is the “Power Five?”

Vanderbilt kicker Sarah Fuller’s career is over after the Vanderbilt/Georgia game was cancelled due to COVID-19 and will not be rescheduled. She became the first woman to score in a Power Five game, 2 pts last week vs. Tennessee.

Googling, you’re doing it wrong. In disgusting news, 29-year old Kirstie Flood is charged with two counts of murder , aggravated battery and first-degree cruelty to a child. Flood initially told police the child hit her head on a slide and didn’t wake up. Investigators later found searches on Flood’s cell phone that included “what type of people enjoy abusing other people’s children” and “what does it mean to have a sudden urge to beat a child that is not yours?”

Let’s move on from that one!

Good news: Twin 11-year old siblings in southern California are passing out candy canes during their neighborhood’s Christmas light show in hopes of raising enough money to buy presents for children whose families are suffering economic hardships during the coronavirus pandemic. The attraction draws thousands of visitors annually and the brother and sister duo are soliciting donations. Nice!

Quote for the week: “I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.” – Samuel Butler

Quote for the week part deux: “It (COVID-19 ordinance in San Diego) kind of says that restaurants can reopen, but the caveat here may be that someone has to be stripping, which seems so wild to me. If that’s what it takes for us to reopen – taking off our clothes – I’ll do it!” – Chad Cline, co-owner of the Waterfront Bar & Grill in San Diego, CA.

Santa has been reading your posts all year. Most of you are getting dictionaries.

The Celtics have their second, and last, preseason game tonight before opening next Wednesday against the Bucks. Let’s go!

Letter of the year. A 9-year old from Essex, U.K. wrote a letter to Father Christmas admitting “…I’ve tried hard to be good but miserably failed… I do deserve a coal, but please I’d like a present too. Actually more than one, here’s a list.” Her list of 12 items included Apple Airpods, a trip to France and a panda and penguin (not dead)!

I’m not saying I hate you but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

NFL stat of the week: Dallas Cowboys’ Ezekiel Elliot leads the NFL with 19 rush attempts inside the 5-yard line. He has gained 2 yards on those carries.

Well, it happened again. 38-year old Australian Rosy Loomba fell to her death on Saturday while visiting Grampian National Park’s Boroka Lookout in Victoria with her husband and one of her children. Loomba climbed past safety barriers to pose on a rock for a photo when she tripped over the edge and plummeted about 262 feet down the cliff face.

Useless headline of the week: Movie star (Tom Cruise) leaves set, crew members quit after his wild COVID rants

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Sun Belt Conference has cancelled its championship game (football) over coronavirus with Coastal Carolina. (This actually encompasses many teams/games as Boston College was the first of several schools opting not to play in a bowl game this winter. Teams are dropping and games are being cancelled. This vaccine might be great and the word is it came out early, others say it’s a little late)

Trivia #1 answer: Was exactly is the “Power Five?” – The Power Five consists of the biggest and most popular athletic conferences – The Southeastern Conference, Atlantic Coast Conference, Big Ten Conference, Big 12 Conference, and Pac-12 Conference

Need to get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays? Put it in Amazon boxes and leave it on your front porch.

Be careful out there.

“Out of all the reindeers you know you’re the mastermind
Run run Rudolph, Randolph ain’t too far behind

Run, run Rudolf, Santa’s gotta make it to town
Santa, make him hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down
Run, run Rudolph ‘cause I’m rellin’ like a merry-go-round”

– Chuck Berry

Briefly.

Somewhere, someone is showering with a mask on. I know it.

Trivia #1: What is another name for the William V. Campbell Trophy?

Trivia #2: Remember Clarence “Lumpy” Rutherford from Leave It to Beaver? What was Mr. Rutherford’s first name?

Trivia #3: In 1947, Chuck Yeager, piloting the Bell X-1, broke the sound barrier reaching a speed of??? 500 mph, 600 mph, 700 mph, 800 mph, 850 mph, 900 mph

Headline of the day: 20% of Americans have gotten hurt while setting up Christmas trees in 2020 (only 9% last year)

Major League Baseball and its owners gave yet another virtual kick to the nuts of baseball fans, and teams/players, across America. MLB eliminated highly sought-after affiliations with 43 franchises at the developmental level – about a quarter of its sprawling minor league system – as each major legue team will be allowed only four minor league affiliates.

Good news: Retied Air Force colonel John Hobson (93) of Xenia, Ohio, has been whittling walking sticks to sell to his community for $3 apiece. All money earned is donated to a local food bank.

I think fines in professional sports should be based upon a percentage of salary rather than a flat number. A $25,000 fine for one player is much different for that of another.

Quote for the week: “Say not, I have found the truth, but rather I have found a truth” – Kahlil Gibran

Trivia #1 hint: The award is given by the National Football Foundation to a college football player.

Super foods. You know: Dark, leafy greens, Berries, Green tea, Nuts, etc. If one or more of these are included in a bacon and sausage sandwich, do they have the same positive health benefits?

The NHL is eyeing a January 13 return. (2021 in case you’re wondering)

Tom Brady and Ben Rothlisberger are in quite the battle. Brady sits in second place all-time for the number of times he’s been sacked in his career (516), creeping up on the all-time leader Brett Favre (525). Big Ben is currently fourth at 513.

Speaking of the Celtics… Tristan Thompson is out with a hamstring injury. You can blame me.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: According to Next Gen Stats, the most improbable completion so far this season in the NFL was a 20-yard completion by Joe Flacco to Jamison Crowder. The pass had a 6.2% completion probability.

Useless headline of the week: Adults reveal what scares them now, but didn’t bother them as children, and some answers may surprise you (ain’t surprising me if I don’t read the article)

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly because communication is key.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Some restaurants are partnering with nearby hotels to offer suites for use of small group dining. Brilliant!

R.I.P. Chuck Yeager (97) US Air Force officer and test pilot, known as “the fastest man alive.” Yeager broke the sound barrier when he tested the X-1 in October 1947. Also, Yeager reportedly flew 64 missions in WWII and shot down 13 German planes.

Trivia #1 answer: What is another name for the William V. Campbell Trophy? – Formerly the Vincent DePaul Draddy Trophy, it is otherwise considered by many as being the “Academic Heisman”

Trivia #2 answer: Remember Clarence “Lumpy” Rutherford from Leave It to Beaver? What was Mr. Rutherford’s first name? – Fred Rutherford

Trivia #3: In 1947, Chuck Yeager, piloting the Bell X-1, broke the sound barrier reaching a speed of??? 500 mph, 600 mph, 700 mph, 800 mph, 850 mph, 900 mph – 700 mph

Be careful out there.

“Prepare yourself you know it’s a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you die
He’s gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
Gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
That’s where your gonna go when you die
When they die and they lay you to rest
You’re gonna go to the place that’s the best”

– Norman Greenbaum

Briefly.

Stop complaining. (think about that and stop complaining!)

Trivia #1: What NFL team has had zero COVID cases this season?

Trivia #2: Who is the winningest active NCAA D1 men’s basketball coach (by percentage) at .828?

Trivia #3: UCLA has won the most NCAA men’s basketball tournaments with 11. What school is tied with them for the most appearances in the final game (12)?

Trivia #4: The modern standard 52-card deck was developed in what country in the 1450’s?

Trivia #5: DK Metcalf is a receiver with the Seattle Seahawks. What does ‘DK’ stand for? – no hint, you either know it or you don’t

Apparently, Dallas Cowboys’ Mike McCarthy ran out of watermelons.

Boy, some recent roughing-the-passer calls in the NFL have been horrendous!

Following Santa Clara County’s three-week ban on contact sports, the San Francisco 49ers will be playing their next two games in the Arizona Cardinals’ State Farm Stadium.

Scrap Car Comparison, an online service that helps people find the best cash offerings for their scrap or salvage vehicle, is launching a ‘Rage Yard’ experience to release their COVID-triggered anger. At the Rage Yard experience, participants will be allowed to release their anger by shooting, blowing up (with explosives) or driving a 61.7 ton tank over their vehicle. Brilliant!

I don’t know much about new Celtic Jeff Teague but have always liked new Celtic Tristan Thompson. Killer rebounder, especially on the offensive end. It will be refreshing to have a big man on the Celtics who doesn’t think he’s a 3-point shooter.

Al Michaels is 76 years old.

Good news: A 23-year old Amazon delivery driver in Florida pulled an elderly man from a burning house. He heard screams, ripped the front door off and found the man standing with his walker.

Do you ever just want to grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper, “no one gives a shit.”

Quote for the week: “No one has ever drowned in sweat.” – Lou Holtz

The Bruins are considering playing their home games at Fenway Park.

If you are a college hoop fan, or not, do what you can to catch #1 Gonzaga. Wow!

Talk about something to look forward to, Super Nintendo World opens in February with an interactive Mario Kart ride! Unfortunately for us, Super Nintendo World is located at Universal Studios in Japan.

The Celtics’ Kemba Walker had a stem cell injection in his knee. Now I don’t get out much but I thought stem cell treatment was only for diseases???

Speaking of the NFL, the Saints/Broncos game last weekend was a disgrace to the NFL. Denver never should have taken the field.

I was out milling around in the backyard mindlessly the other day and suddenly the answers to many of life’s problems came to me. I eventually went back into my house returned to life-in-general and focused again on other “things.” I thought back on the solutions I had conjured and they were gone, swept away by whatever brought them on in the first place. Now I go through life, waiting for the genius to come back to me…

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: UK health official says mask wearing in nation may persist for many years.

R.I.P. Rafer Johnson (86) – Dubbed the world’s greatest athlete in 1960, Johnson won the gold medal in the decathlon at the Olympic games in Rome in 1960. He was also the first Black American to be the flag bearer for the U.S. Olympic team. Among his many accomplishments later in life, Johnson co-founded the California Special Olympics and was selected to light the Olympic flame at the 1984 Los Angeles Olympic Games.

Trivia #1 answer: What NFL team has had zero COVID cases this season? – The Seattle Seahawks

Trivia #2 answer: Who is the winningest active NCAA D1 men’s basketball coach (by percentage) at .828? – Gonzaga’s Mark Few

Trivia #3 answer: UCLA has won the most NCAA men’s basketball tournaments with 11. What school is tied with them for the most appearances in the final game (12)? – The University of Kentucky

Trivia #4: The modern standard 52-card deck was developed in what country in the 1450’s? – France

Trivia #5: DK Metcalf is a receiver with the Seattle Seahawks. What does ‘DK’ stand for? –  His full name is DeKaylin Zecharius Metcalf

Be careful out there.

“Excuse my shoes they don’t quite fit
They’re a special offer and they hurt me a bit
Even my trousers are giving me pain
They were reduced in a sale so I shouldn’t complain
They squeeze me so tight so I can’t take no more
They’re size 28 but I take 34

I’m on a low budget
What did you say
I’m on a low budget
I thought you said that
I’m on a low budget
I’m a cut price person in a low budget land”

– The Kinks

Briefly.

Keep moving the sticks.

Trivia #1: The first Macy’s Day Parade took place in what year? –  1920, 1924, 1928, 1932, 1936, 1941

Trivia #2: Thanksgiving football is believed to have started at the college level in 1876. What two schools are reported to have started playing football on Thanksgiving? – Yale and Princeton, Yale and Harvard, Trinity and Yale, Harvard and Princeton, NECCO and UMass Lowell

Trivia #3: Alice doesn’t live at the restaurant. Where does she live?

The Buccaneers’ Antonio Brown is still good and I still don’t want him on my team.

Why don’t NFL cheerleaders have to wear masks?? What? They do wear masks?!

Feel good story of the week: 9-year old Reese Osterberg lost not just her family home in the Creek Fire in California, but she also lost her baseball card collection. Her community heard of the loss and at first donated a binder of cards but that quickly grew to over 25,000 cards and other memorabilia. On Tuesday she gave out cards, baseballs and memorabilia to other kids who had also suffered losses. She has a website setup where kids can make requests – cardsfromreese.org.

There’s a fine line between saying too much and saying too little. I walk that line like a drunken clown at a circus.

Could Tom Brady do a better job with this Pats’ team? I think so.

Headline of the day: Dying Alabama man ready to “meet his maker” confesses to cold case murder of a 26-year-old. – Editor’s note: Buddy, if you are confessing to a murder, I’m not so sure you’re going to get a chance to meet your maker.

Headline of the week, part deux: TSA shares Thanksgiving foods you can and can’t carry on flights

Philadelphia’s Carson Wentz is leading the Triple Crown race with 40 sacks, 14 interceptions and 10 fumbles.

I’m typically not one for touchdown celebrations but I laughed at the Bucs’ last weekend when the players sat down, one behind the other, and made like rowing a boat. Good one.

I’m not buying a 2021 planner until I see a trailer.

College hoops is back!

Gordon Hayward played 139 games for the Celtics (regular season and playoff combined) and earned over $91 million in the process.  That’s a cool $658,986.27 per game.

Really, how did we go from the dumpy, white “Jake from State Farm” to the jacked, black guy? (can the T-shirt be any smaller?) I would have liked to have been a fly-on-the-wall for that meeting!

If I were a diehard Redskins’ fan I’m not so sure I would be compelled to wear their new hat.

Quote for the week: “I awoke this morning with devout Thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

No, this did not happen prior to a Pop Warner football game but instead at the Saturday night Dallas Cowboys’ team meeting last week. Coach Mike McCarthy rolled out watermelons, each one with a team objective written on it, and smashed them all with a sledgehammer. One pumpkin had a picture of Minnesota running back Dalvin Cook which DeMarcus Lawrence insisted on smashing himself. On Sunday the Cowboys ended their 4-game losing streak by beating the Vikings and Lawrence had half a sack and two QB hits. Hey, if it works, it works.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Funeral home employee fired for disturbing selfie with Diego Maradona’s body

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Reputed south Philly wise guy Anthony “Tony Meatballs” Gifoli (72) was named in a grand-jury indictment, along with others, and accused of everything from sports betting to heroin-peddling to offering loans at 400 percent. “Tony Meatballs” is not to be confused with “Jimmy Bag of Doughnuts”

R.I.P. Diego Maradona (60) – Argentinian national hero, deemed one of the greatest “football” players of all time. He played for clubs including Barcelona and Napoli and was captain when Argentina won the 1986 World Cup, scoring the famous “Hand of God” goal against England in the quarter-finals. Maradona, who was deemed a god by many in Argentina, in Naples and all the world, apparently died in his home of “acute heart failure.”

Trivia #1 answer: The first Macy’s Day Parade took place in what year? – 1920, 1924, 1928, 1932, 1936, 1941 – 1924

Trivia #2 answer: Thanksgiving football is believed to have started at the college level in 1876. What two schools are reported to have started playing football on Thanksgiving? – Yale and Princeton, Yale and Harvard, Trinity and Yale, Harvard and Princeton, NECCO and UMass Lowell – Yale and Princeton

Trivia #3 answer: Alice doesn’t live at the restaurant. Where does she live? – Alice lives in the church nearby the restaurant, in the bell tower, with her husband Ray and Fasha the dog

“Ah! Mashed potatoes, ah!
Getting’ my potatoes, yeah!
Byrd! Wanna get in these potatoes, brother? (Yeah!)
Getting’ mashed potatoes, yeah yeah
(Tater!)
Getting’ my mashed potatoes! (Potatoes!)
Ha-ha (ho), French fry ‘em! (taters!), hey ho”

– James Brown

Briefly.

Trivia #1: With the 25^th pick in the second round of the NBA draft the other night, the Brooklyn Nets selected Jay Scrubb out of John A. Logan College. He was later traded to the Clippers. Multi-part question: Where is John A. Logan College? Who was John A. Logan? What is the college’s nickname?

Trivia #2: When the Patriots take on the Houston Texans on Sunday, it will mark a matchup between the oldest head coaching matchup in NFL history. Romeo Crennel is 73 and Bill Belichick is 68. What matchup holds the current record for oldest head coaches?

160’ divided by 3 = 53.3 yards.

Trivia #3: The Green Bay Packers’ Paul Hornung rushed for how many career yards in the NFL? – 3,711, 5,230, 7,002, 10,114, 12,948

Did you watch any of the NBA draft? There was the #3 overall pick Lamelo Ball sitting on his couch, no mask. To his right was his mother who was wearing a mask. To his left sat his father, wearing a mask, pulled down under his nose. I thought it looked hilarious.

Back to Alex Trebek who lost his battle to pancreatic cancer last week. What a guy. Not only did Trebek give away a great deal of money to numerous charitable organizations, he was tied more directly to World Vision – the Christian humanitarian organization that conducts relief efforts for children and families in nearly 100 countries around the world. Trebek’s relationship with the organization began in the early 1980’s and included multiple international trips as well as video appeals, where the gregarious Canadian native lent his name and reputation.

#1 pick gone bad. Brandon Martin, a former Tampa Bay Rays’ first-round draft pick, was sentenced to prison without parole for the 2015 grisly murder of his disabled father, uncle and alarm installer in California. He beat them all to death with a black wooden baseball bat with his name engraved on it.

Birthdays are good for us. Statistics show that people who have the most birthdays live the longest.

Kim Ng (52) just became the first female general manager in major league baseball history. She is with the Florida Marlins.

The NCAA is considering holding the 2021 men’s basketball tournament at a single site, bubble-like. Indianapolis is the leading candidate.

Learning a lesson, you’re doing it wrong. The New York Mets’ Robinson Cano was suspended for 80 games in 2018 for testing positive for a performance-enhancing drug. He tested positive again and has been suspended for the entire 2021 campaign.

I was looking at the injury report for last night’s Thursday Night Football game. It got me thinking, aren’t we all “questionable” on any given day?

Honored? The Memphis Grizzlies’ Ja Morant had a giraffe named after him at the Memphis Zoo.

Be sure to bring up politics at Thanksgiving this year to, you know, save on Christmas gifts.

For you fantasy footballers, here’s a stat. Christian McCaffrey is #26 in points scored by a running back this season. He has missed 6+ games.

I think the “neutral zone infraction” is the coolest sounding penalty in sports. It sounds a lot better than tripping, traveling or holding, doesn’t it? Neutral zone infraction!

Some good news (I may make this a regular addition): A FedEx driver in New Trenton, IN, saw a boy and his friends playing basketball using an old, broken down hoop. The FedEx driver, Aubrey, who often delivers packages in the area, dropped off a brand new hoop and basketball purchased on her own.

Headline of the day: “Stanley Cup champion Brandon Holtby struggles to get across US-Canada border due to tortoise issues”

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The 2020 Shit Show continues. Period.

R.I.P. Paul Hornung (84) – Hornung played for the NFL’s Green Bay Packers from 1957-1966. He played on teams that won four NFL titles including the first Super Bowl. He is the first Heisman trophy winner to be selected as the first overall selection in the NFL draft, play pro football, win the NFL most valuable player award, and be inducted into both the professional and college football halls of fame.

Trivia #1 answer: With the 25^th pick in the second round of the NBA draft the other night, the Brooklyn Nets selected Jay Scrubb out of John A. Logan College. He was later traded to the Clippers. Multi-part question: Where is John A. Logan College? – Caterville, Illinois. Who was John A. Logan? – A civil war general who later represented Illinois in the US Congress. What is the college’s nickname? – The Volunteers

Trivia #2 answer: When the Patriots take on the Houston Texans on Sunday, it will mark a matchup between the oldest head coaching matchup in NFL history. Romeo Crennel is 73 and Bill Belichick is 68. What matchup holds the current record for oldest head coaches? – It was earlier this season between Belichick and Seattle’s Pete Carrol (69).

Trivia #3 answer: The Green Bay Packers’ Paul Hornung rushed for how many career yards in th NFL? – 3,711, 5,230, 7,002, 10,114, 12,948 – 3,711

“Well, we’re big rock singers
We got golden fingers
And we’re loved everywhere we go…
We sing about beauty and we sing about truth
At ten thousand dollars a show…
We take all kinds of pills that give us all kind of thrills
But the thrill we’ve never known
Is the thrill that’ll getcha when you get your picture
On the cover of the Rollin’ Stone”

– Dr. Hook

Briefly.

Trivia #1: Five players have won the Masters wire-to-wire. Which two of the following have not – Raymond Floyd, Tiger Woods, Craig Wood, Jordan Spieth, Jack Nicklaus, Phil Mickelson, Arnold Palmer

Trivia #2: How many world rankings points and FedEx Cup points does the winner of the Masters receive, respectively? – 75/400, 75/500, 75/600, 100/400, 100/500, 100/600, 200/400, 200/500, 200/600

Trivia #3: What four people have been inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame as a player and a head coach? (no hints, tough one…)

Trivia #4: The New York Jet’ Frank Gore has a chance this season to surpass Lorenzo Neal for all-time games played by an NFL running back (239). Who is #3?

I’ve been watching golf this past season but it is especially noticeable during the Masters, no fans. That’s gotta stink for the players, to drain a long, eagle/birdie putt and get no reaction. I know it stinks as a fan watching.

Riddle me this (thinking ahead). What will the NFL do if one of the Super Bowl starting quarterbacks tests positive for Covid just before the big game?

After yesterday, Kevin Na is the first player to hit every green in regulation during a round in the Masters, and still shoot over par. That begs the question “How’s your three-putt?”

So how do you feel about Alex Cora? He was caught cheating as part of the Houston Astros’ sign-stealing scandal, served his one-year suspension and was subsequently fired as the Red Sox’ manager, and has now been rehired following his suspension? Is he a free man having served his time or is he forever a cheater? Follow-up question, are all criminals forever criminals even after time served?

Go out and earn yourself a “Tommy Point” today

I like the Baker Mayfield, Progressive Insurance “At Home” commercials. I laugh

In case you missed it, one of the Masters’ greatest traditions, the Wednesday Par 3 contest, was not held this year due to the fact that there would be no fans. It would not have been the same without them. However, the Augusta National Par 3 course will be used in a unique way by being the sight of ESPN’s “College Gameday” on Saturday from 9 a.m. until noon.

Why can an offensive player give a stiff-arm to the facemask in the NFL without consequences?

If a southern woman says “What did you say?”, she isn’t asking you to repeat it. She’s asking you if you’re good with Jesus because you’re about to meet him.

Not sure whether it was Tiger Woods or not but who introduced the non-collared shirt to golf? I don’t like it and think it’s disrespectful.

Headline of the day: “Woman tries to deliver heroin-filled sandwich to her boyfriend at the Lynn Police Station”

Quote for the week: “He’s a great driver of the golf ball” – now bear with me here. This statement, made during golf tournaments and referring to a golfer, challenges my intelligence. Do we really think the broadcaster might actually be referring to the fact that the player is a great driver of a Ford Mustang?

Quote for the week part deux: “It’s not about being better than anyone else, it’s about being better than you were the day before”

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Elizabeth City, North Carolina, starting a “Calling All Elizabeths” promotion on Monday, which is encouraging any person named Elizabeth to visit and take advantage of freebies and discounts until December 30.

R.I.P. Alex Trebek (80) – A native of Canada, Trebek became a naturalized US citizen in 1998 and hosted the syndicated game show “Jeopardy” for 37 years. He received the Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Game Show Host seven times for his work on Jeopardy.

R.I.P. Tommy Heinsohn (86) – (try to keep up here):

• He is the only person to have been involved the Boston Celtics for all 17 of its championships, as well as all 21 of its NBA Finals appearances
• Averaged 21.1 points during his college career, becoming The College of Holy Cross’ all-time leading scorer. During his Sr. year averaged 27.4 points and 21.1 rebounds
• He was a “territorial pick” of the Boston Celtics in 1956 and was Rookie of the Year as well as an All-Star, averaging 16.2 points and 9.8 rebounds per game. The Celtics won their first Championship that year.
• He played nine NBA seasons averaging 18.6 PPG and 8.8 RPG, earned six All-Star selections and eight NBA titles
• He served as the NBA Players’ Association’s second president
• After the 1964-65 season his #15 was retired by the Celtics
• He spent the next three years broadcasting on the radio before coaching the Celtics for nine seasons becoming their second-winningest coach (427-263), won two Championships and was Coach of the Year in 1973
• He retired after the 1977-78 season and spent the next nearly 40 years along side Mike Gorman in the broadcast booth
• In 1995, he was the recipient of the Jack McMahon Award, given annually by the National Basketball Coaches Association to an individual who has made a special contribution to the NBA coaching profession
• He was just the 4^th person in NBA history to be inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame as a player and a head coach
• He was associated with the Celtics for 65 years

Trivia #1 answer: Five players have won the Masters wire-to-wire. Which two of the following have not – Raymond Floyd, Tiger Woods, Craig Wood, Jordan Spieth, Jack Nicklaus, Phil Mickelson, Arnold Palmer – Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson

Trivia #2 answer: How many world rankings points and FedEx Cup points does the winner of the Masters receive, respectively? – 75/400, 75/500, 75/600, 100/400, 100/500, 100/600, 200/400, 200/500, 200/600 – The winner receives 100 world rankings points and 600 FedEx Cup points

Trivia #3 answer: What four people have been inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame as a player and a head coach? (no hints, tough one…) – Lenny Wilkins, John Wooden, Bill Sharman, Tommy Heinsohn

Trivia #4 answer: The New York Jet’ Frank Gore has a chance this season to surpass Lorenzo Neal for all-time games played by an NFL running back (239). Who is #3? – Tony Richardson

“Too late to save myself from falling
I took a chance and changed your way of life
But you misread my meaning when I met you
Closed the door and left me blinded by the light

Don’t let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it’s always someone else I see
I’d just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me”

– Elton John

Briefly.

It was correctly pointed out to me that Brad Johnson and Mark Rypien can be added to last week’s trivia question answer of Super Bowl winning quarterbacks who have played on 5 or more NFL teams. Thanks for keeping me straight…

Trivia #1: Who is the only Masters champion to start the final round outside of the top 10? Jack Burke Jr., Art Wall Jr., Danny Willett, Seve Ballesteros, Jose Maria Olazabal?

Trivia #2: Magnolia Lane (at Augusta National) is how long? 150 yards, 220 yards, 275 yards, 330 yards, 400 yards, 1 mile?

Trivia #3: Who is Ron Townsend?

Trivia #4: How many James Bond films did Sean Connery appear in?

Betfair Exchange, the world’s largest online betting exchange, reported that someone bet $1.29 million on Joe Biden to win the U.S. election. The 10 largest bets in Betfair’s history before now, all on sporting events, have been winners.

Quote for the week: We sold out and won three Super Bowls, played in a fourth, and played in th AFC Championship Game. This year we have less to work with. It’s not an excuse. It’s just the facts.” – Bill Belichick

I don’t always jump out of bed like a Ninja, but when I do… it’s because of a leg cramp.

Ease up Patriots’ fans. Last Sunday the Los Angeles Chargers became the first team in NFL history to blow leads of at least 16 points in four consecutive games.

Ease up Patriots’ fans. Patrick Mahomes threw more touchdown passes (5) against the New York Jets than the Jets have thrown all season.

Speaking of the lowly Jets, coach Adam Gase now has more 20-point losses with the Jets (8) than he does wins (7).

The Pats can’t lose on Monday Night to the Jets, can they?

The NBA will start up again on December 22 with a 72-game schedule.

After New England’s 24-21 loss to the Buffalo Bills last Sunday, Bill Belichick is 51-66 without Tom Brady as his starting quarterback, 224-66 with Brady as his starting quarterback.

I say again, all-world quarterback Jimmy “G” Garoppolo cannot stay on the field and again is out for at least another 6 weeks. Traded for a second round pick? Not bad, say I.

In 20 years when kids ask about the 2020 toilet paper shortage, I’m telling them we had to drag our butts across the lawn, in the snow, uphill, both ways, dodging murder hornets!

Last night the Green Bay Packers’ Aaron Rogers joined Tom Brady as the only quarterbacks in NFL history to throw at least 24 touchdown passes and two or fewer interceptions through the first 8 games of the season.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Masters begins next Thursday… November 12.

R.I.P. Sean Connery (90) – The Scottish actor, best known for his portrayal of James Bond, won an Oscar in 1988 for his role in The Untouchables. If you want some slightly off-color laughs, search YouTube for “Sean Connery SNL”

Trivia #1 answer: Who is the only Masters champion to start the final round outside of the top 10? Jack Burke Jr., Art Wall Jr., Danny Willett, Seve Ballesteros, Jose Maria Olazabal? – Art Wall Jr.

Trivia #2 answer: Magnolia Lane (at Augusta National) is how long? 150 yards, 220 yards, 275 yards, 330 yards, 400 yards, 1 mile?  – Magnolia Lane is 330 yards long

Trivia #3 answer: Who is Ron Townsend? – Townsend was the first African-American member at Augusta National, admitted in 1990

Trivia #4: How many James Bond films did Sean Connery appear in? – 7

“Say your prayers, little one
Don’t forget, my son
To include everyone

I tuck you in, warm within
Keep you free from sin
Til the Sandman he comes

Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight

Exit light
Enter light
Take my hand
We’re off to Never, Neverland”

– Metallica