Tag: nfl

October 18, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly.

I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October. I call it my jingle bell rock.

Trivia #1: Who won the 1988 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 1988)?
Trivia #2: Who is Charles Strite?

On this date: October 18, 1776, in a bar decorated with bird tail in Elmsford, New York, a customer requests a glassful of “those cock tails” from bartender Betsy Flanagan
October 18, 1867, US takes formal possession of Alaska from Russia, after paying $7.2 million in the Alaska Purchase
October 18, 1967, Walt Disney’s animated musical adaptation of Rudyard Kipling’s “The Jungle Book” film is released
October 18, 1974, American R&B singer Al Green’s girlfriend, Mary Woodson, dies by suicide at his Memphis home, after assaulting him with a pot of boiling grits at 29

Go away: Jelly Roll (Jason Bradley DeFord), is an American singer, rapper, and songwriter from Antioch, Tennessee. This guy was recently in the news regarding his long criminal record. Hey, there is only one “Jelly Roll” and that’s Jelly Roll Morton. (Just ask Van Morrison)

As if things couldn’t get worse, cases of flesh-eating bacteria have seen an unusual spike following impacts from Hurricanes Helene and Milton. 70 cases have so far been reported in 2024, with 11 deaths – figures that are similar to 2022 when Hurricane Ian damaged Collier and Lee counties.

Don’t be that guy. Cover your mouth when you yawn. Thank you, from all of us.

The Utah Hockey Club. Puh-lease!

Pretty cool: A time capsule from 1924 was unveiled at the National WWI Museum and Memorial in Kansas City, Missouri. The 100-year-old box was laid at the cornerstone of the Liberty Memorial Tower two years before the memorial opened to the public and was found in June by officials. The Liberty Memorial was dedicated “in honor of those who served in World War One in defense of liberty and our country.”

Speaking of pretty cool (and immensely classy!), The Columbus Blue Jackets took the ice for their home opener against the Florida Panthers on Tuesday. Bush’s “Machinehead” blared from the loudspeakers. Spotlights danced in the stands and blinked around the circle at center ice. The sellout crowd of 18,484 roared. But something was wrong. Someone was missing. The starting lineup did not have a left wing, leaving an empty space where Johnny Gaudreau should have been. The teams stood still — for 13 seconds officially to symbolize Gaudreau’s No. 13, for a little longer in reality. The fans rose to their feet and cheered as players from both teams tapped their sticks on the ice and the boards. An official picked up the puck and brought it to the Columbus bench. The fans chanted, “JOHN-NY HOCK-EY!”

Only in hockey…

Advertising, you’re doing it wrong. Bath and Body Works has stopped selling a candle that was emblazoned with a winter theme that many commenters online compared to a Ku Klux Klan hood.

I would love to explain it to you, but I don’t have crayons.

Trivia #1 answer: Who won the 1988 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 1988)? – Edmonton Oilers (NHL), Los Angeles Lakers (NBA), Los Angeles Dodgers (MLB), Washington Redskins (NFL)
Trivia #2 answer: Who is Charles Strite? – Charles Strite granted US patent #1,394,450 for his invention, the automatic pop-up toaster on October 18, 1921.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Do what you have to do so that you can do what you want to do.

Happy National No Beard Day! (Sorry, guys. How’s this instead – Happy National Mammography Day!)

“And it stoned me to my soul
Stoned me just like Jelly Roll
And it stoned me
And it stoned me to my soul
Stoned me just like goin’ home
And it stoned me”

Van Morrison (And It Stoned Me)

Bonus: Al Green

Friday, April 26, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly.

My wife and I started role playing in the bedroom. Her go-to is “sexy librarian” where I have to sit quietly in the corner while she reads a book.

Trivia #1: Who is Chase Garbers?
Trivia #2: Last Friday, the Red Sox had 3 different players <= 24 years-old hit a homerun in the same game since 1987: Ellis Burks, Mike Greenwell and who?
Trivia #3: On April 26, 1912, the first homerun was hit at Fenway Park. Who hit it? – Casey Hageman, Tris Speaker, Hugh Bradley, Duffy Lewis, Ray Collins
Trivia #4: What is the dirtiest river in the U.S.? – Mississippi, Ohio, Calcasieu, Tennessee, Cuyahoga, Red River

On this date: April 26, 1983, Stanford quarterback John Elway is the first pick in the NFL draft by the Baltimore Colts  
April 26, 1994, physicists announce first evidence of the top quark subatomic particle.

Speaking of the NFL draft last night, the biggest winner appears to be Bill Belichick. Why? Bill was not hired during the offseason by the Atlanta Falcons who pulled a big head-scratcher by selecting Washington quarterback Michael Penix with the 8th overall pick. Not only had they signed quarterback Kirk Cousins a few months earlier to a $180M contract, but Penix has torn his right ACL twice, once in 2018 and once in 2020 with Indiana, and he had a clavicle fracture in 2019 and an A/C joint separation in 2021. What?!

Miami’s 1st round selection, Demeioun “Chop” Robinson, got his nickname as a child. He was 14 lbs at birth and his mother called him “Porkchop.” He didn’t like that so he cut it down to “Chop.”

Go away: Gisele. Oh, poor Gisele. Everyone wants to take her picture. Poor Gisele.

This just in, the PGA’s Scottie Scheffler is pretty good. After winning yet again last week, Scheffler now has 35 top 10 finishes in his last 51 PGA tournaments.

April 2024 is Cancer Prevention and Early Detection Month.

There is no shame in taking the senior discount. If you have to be older, use it to your advantage.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: On April 26, 1994, physicists announce first evidence of the top quark subatomic particle.

Playoff NBA still can’t hang with playoff NHL.

Speaking of the Celtics, here’s a fun fact. The Celtics had more 30-point leads during the regular season than they had 10-point deficits. (They trailed by 10+ points Wednesday night. DOH!)

We need home court/ice advantage this, we need home court/ice advantage that. In the last 16 playoff games at the Garden, the Celtics are 4-7 and the Bruins are 1-4.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Researchers are warning that facial recognition technologies are “more threatening than previously thought” and pose “serious challenges to privacy” after a study found that artificial intelligence can be successful in predicting a person’s political orientation based on images of expressionless faces. 

Heckling, you’re doing it right! Finn Turlington, who turned 18 in February, was heckled on the basketball court at his school. In an effort to taunt him, an opposing team passed around nude modeling photos of Turlington’s supermodel mother, Christy. (Hmmm, when’s the next game??)

Former Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Calvin “Megatron” Johnson got a bigger ovation at the draft last night than former Detroit running back Barry Sanders. If kids only knew…

Drake Maye. Meh

And Roger Godell was booed mercilessly every time he stepped to the podium. Ya, I grinned each time.

Shoot me. Bill Belichick has been tabbed to be a “a regular recurring part of” the “ManningCast,” where Peyton and Eli Manning dissect “Monday Night Football” in real time. I’d love to watch/listen to Belichick but those two make my skin crawl.

The United Football League (UFL) – 5 things to watch for in week 4. Oh, so I guess the season started??

Good news: By the time you read next Friday’s blog, Mel Kiper will have disappeared from our lives as he does every year after the NFL draft.

Many regions across the United States experienced “record-breaking high temperatures” in 2023 due to extreme heat, according to the CDC. Emergency room visits due to heat-related illness peaked in several regions in the U.S. and remained elevated for a prolonged duration compared to visits between 2018 and 2022.

Protesting, you’re doing it wrong. The man who set himself on fire outside the New York City courthouse where former President Trump’s hush money trial was being held has been pronounced dead. Maxwell Azzarello, 37, of St. Augustine, Florida, died Friday night from his severe burns after lighting himself on fire earlier in the day inside Collect Pond Park near the Manhattan Criminal Courthouse.

Article I’ll skip: Zac Brown Band founding member on technology that scares him to death.

Trivia #1 answer: Who is Chase Garbers? – Garbers is the starting quarterback for the UFL’s San Antonio Brahmas
Trivia #2 answer: Last Friday, the Red Sox had 3 different players <= 24 years-old hit a homerun in the same game since 1987: Ellis Burks, Mike Greenwell and who? – Sam Horn
Trivia #3 answer: On April 26, 1912, the first homerun was hit at Fenway Park. Who hit it? – Casey Hageman, Tris Speaker, Hugh Bradley, Duffy Lewis, Ray Collins – Hugh Bradley
Trivia #4 answer: What is the dirtiest river in the U.S.? – Mississippi, Ohio, Calcasieu, Tennessee, Cuyahoga, Red River – The Ohio River (a lifeline for six states, the river battles a relentless foe: industrial pollution.)

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Help a Horse Day!

90% of a relationship is figuring out where to eat.

“Keep on smilin’ through the rain, laughin’ at the pain
Rollin’ with the changes til the sun comes out again
Keep on smilin’ through the rain, laughin’ at the pain
Rollin’ with the changes, singin’ this refrain”

– Wet Willie (Keep on Smilin’)

If you’re too busy to watch this nearly 12 minute video, turn it up, listen and go about your business. Otherwise, enjoy and keep on smilin’.

Friday, February 9, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly. (Relatively speaking)

Well, I love to celebrate most anything and this morning I set another personal record for consecutive days alive! Seriously, I’ve made it from the bed to the couch. There’s no stopping me now!

Trivia #1: In the movie “Happy Gilmore,” how did Chubbs Peterson (Carl Weathers) die? – Got hit by a golf ball, Fell out of a window, Got hit by a car, Heart attack on the golf course, Attacked by an alligator on the golf course
Trivia #2: What day is Boxing Day?
Trivia #3: Who was the MVP of Super Bowl XII? – Tony Dorsett, Roger Staubach and Tony Dorsett, Roger Staubach and Ed “Too Tall” Jones, Roger Staubach and Randy White, Randy White and Harvey Martin, Roger Staubach and Preston Pearson
Trivia #4: Which two players do NOT have multiple Super Bowl MVP trophies? – Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Tony Dorsett, Terry Bradshaw, Joe Montana, Eli Manning
Trivia #5: Who was Frank Hayes?

On this date: February 9, 1870, the US Army establishes the US National Weather Service

Go away: The media. Now, this could be listed each week, really, but don’t be hating on Taylor Swift on Sunday. She’s relatively young, rooting for her boyfriend, having a blast. Be hating on the media for putting her in our faces all… day… long.

She said, “Oh no, Guadalajara won’t do”

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: For the Super Bowl, 108 total footballs are allotted per team. 54 of those are meant for practice and 54 are meant for the actual game. On average during the Super Bowl, 120 footballs are used with the rest used for the kickers.

Sex is like a gas station. Sometimes you get full service, sometimes you have to ask for service and sometimes you have to be happy with self-service.

Stop complaining: Los Angeles just endured their 3rd wettest two-day stretch in more than 70 years and more than 300 mudslides have rocked the state. As California residents reel from the lingering effects of the deadly storm that prompted a state of emergency, a less intense storm will bring additional rain and wind to the region that can slow cleanup efforts and the recession of floodwaters. The latest estimate is $11 billion in damages throughout the region.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not attempting to bash our military in any way but do have to ask. The 5 US Marines killed in the helicopter crash on Tuesday were flying into San Diego where the historic, “atmospheric river” was traveling through. Was training in that type of weather part of the training? Tragic as it is, I do hope things are learned that help our military going forward.

The Kansas City Royals’ 23-year-old shortstop Bobby Witt Jr. signed an 11-year contract that guarantees him $288.7 million. A three-year team option could bring the total value to just under $377 million. That would keep Witt under contract through 2037 when he would be 37 years old. Not a bad gig, if you can get it.

Well, it has apparently happened. Baseball has always been known as “America’s pastime” but, according to new research, football has become “America’s sport.” 12,000 American adults were surveyed and 53% chose football as America’s sport, followed by baseball, basketball, soccer, auto racing (sport?), hockey and “other.”

This week’s sign of the apocalypse:  Trained and licensed medical doctor Dr. Colleen Ann Murphy has opened an adult “Diaper Spa” in nearby Atkinson, NH, where adults can go to wear nappies and act like children. It supports what’s known as paraphilic infantilism – where people get enjoyment out of regressing to a child-like state.

I do miss Marcus Smart, for the most part.

Speaking of the NBA, here’s a thought. Rather than sit guys during games for “rest” or “injury management,” how about resting them during practice? Give me a break!

Article I’ll skip: Ziploc and Travis Kelce’s mother partner ahead of Super Bowl

Good news: Not! Fox News did not have a section this morning for “Good News.” That can’t be good!

R.I.P. Carl Weathers (76) – Starred in football at San Diego State before playing for the Oakland Raiders in 1974 before then pursuing his acting career. Best known for his role as Appollo Creed in four Rocky movies, Weathers was also a member of the Big Brothers Association and the U.S. Olympic Committee, handling the career of athletes of various sports such as gymnastics, wrestling, swimming and judo.
R.I.P. Toby Keith (62, of stomach cancer) – American country music singer, songwriter, record producer and actor. He was the Country Male Vocalist of the Year in 2001, awarded Artist of the Decade at the American Country Awards in 2011, and was inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame in 2015. In 2021, Keith also became a recipient of the National Medal of Arts.  He also politically active, a staunch supporter of the military and a philanthropist.

Trivia #1 answer: In the movie “Happy Gilmore,” how did Chubbs Peterson (Carl Weathers) die? – Got hit by a golf ball; Fell out of a window; Got hit by a car; Heart attack on the golf course; Attacked by an alligator on the golf course – He fell out of a window (after being spooked by an alligator head he was presented as a gift)
Trivia #2 answer: What day is Boxing Day? – December 26
Trivia #3 answer: Who was the MVP of Super Bowl XII? – Tony Dorsett, Roger Staubach and Tony Dorsett, Roger Staubach and Ed “Too Tall” Jones, Roger Staubach and Randy White, Randy White and Harvey Martin, Roger Staubach and Preston Pearson – The MVPs were Randy White and Harvey Martin
Trivia #4 answer: Which two players do NOT have multiple Super Bowl MVP trophies? – Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Tony Dorsett, Terry Bradshaw, Joe Montana, Eli Manning – Peyton Manning and Tony Dorsett
Trivia #5 answer: Who was Frank Hayes? – Frank was an Irish trainer and jockey who, on June 4, 1923, won a steeplechase race at Belmont Park despite suffering a heart attack in the latter part of the race. He remained in the saddle as his horse, Sweet Kiss, crossed the finish line making him the first, and so far only, jockey to win a race after his death.

The razor blade is sharp but can’t cut a tree; the axe is strong but can’t cut a hair. Everyone is important according to his/her own unique purpose… Never look down on anyone unless you are admiring their shoes.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Toothache Day!

“California, tumbles in to the sea
That’ll be the day I go
Back to Annandale”

– Steel Dan (My Old School)

And, I don’t usually do this but, by request…

Friday, February 2, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly. (Not today)

I was drinking a margarita and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!” And we laughed and laughed, well, except one guy.

Trivia #1: The Black Death occurred when? – 1315 to 1317, 1324 to 1329, 1336 to 1342, 1346 to 1353, 1355 to 1350
Trivia #2: Of the all-time, top tacklers in Super Bowl history, the New England Patriots have 4 of the top 5 in terms of total tackles. Name them. Bonus question, which of the following is the only non-Patriot in the top 5? – Ike Taylor, Gary Bracket, Bobby Wagner, K.J. Wright, Earl Thomas
Trivia #3: Who won the 2017 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 2017)?

The Black Death was a bubonic plaque pandemic occurring in Europe and was one of the most fatal pandemics in human history when as many as 50 million people perished, perhaps 50% of Europe’s 14th century population. Bubonic plague is caused by the bacterium Yersinia pestis and spread by fleas.  One of the most significant events in European history, the Black Death had far-reaching population, economic, and cultural impacts.

On this date: February 2, 1887, the first Groundhog Day is observed at Gobbler’s Knob, Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.
February 2, 1959, Buddy Holly’s last performance at Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa

Go away: The Kelce brothers. I’m done with them already.

We’re closed, you’re doing it wrong. A Canadian Pizza Hut location posted a sign on their front door reading, “DUE TO UNFORESEEN CIRCUMCISIONS THE DINING ROOM WILL BE CLOSED THIS EVENING”

So, Super Bowl LVIII will be played in Las Vegas a week from Sunday. What could go wrong?

Speaking of the NFL, you Detroit Lions’ fans, oh, you were so close! Can you say “Red Sox fans between 1918 and 2004?” Why was there so much Detroit love these past couple of weeks? I don’t recall the nation rooting for the Sox during their decades-long World Championship slump.

I’m living for giving the devil his due.

Say what you want about Travis Kelce, last Sunday he broke one of Jerry Rice’s records, career playoff catches. Any company with Jerry is something worth noting.

Tails never fails. That’s what one big bettor is hoping for when the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Francisco 49ers meet at center field at Allegiant Stadium for the Super Bowl next weekend. The guy bet $100,000 on the coin toss.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: On February 2, 1887, the first Groundhog Day is observed at Gobbler’s Knob, Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.

Does anyone know any good Groundhog Day jokes? I keep hearing the same ones over and over again.

Stop complaining: Unless you watch the NFL. Then, go ahead and complain about Taylor Swift for another week+.

I’ve been alive all my life and still have never seen a commercial for Chinese food.

The Lakers beat the Celtics last night. I still hate when that happens.

Days after he was accused of sex trafficking and sexual abuse, Vince McMahon has resigned from all his roles at WWE and its parent company, TKO. Hmmm, surprising?

They said it: “We can say that the NFL is only a sport, not a way of life, but watching the Bills’ fans react is evidence that teams are the fabric of our life. They unite cities, they create pride in the town and when things go wrong on the field, they invoke tremendous grief. Watching Detroit and Buffalo react is why the NFL is rooted in our life.” – Mike Lombardi, former NFL executive and media analyst. Lombardi worked under the likes of Bill Walsh, Al Davis and Bill Belichick

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: World Health Organization (WHO) Director-General Tedros Ghebreyesus has called on countries to sign on to the health organization’s pandemic treaty so the world can prepare for “Disease X.” Disease X is a hypothetical placeholder virus that has not yet been formed, but scientists say it could be 20 times deadlier than COVID-19.

Article I’ll skip: Irked Arnold Schwarzenegger takes issue with son-in-law Chris Pratt’s parenting style

Good news: The General Motors plant in Flint, Michigan, delayed production for an hour last Sunday, in order for employees to watch the playoff game.

Trivia #1 answer: The Black Death occurred when? – 1315 to 1317, 1324 to 1329, 1336 to 1342, 1346 to 1353, 1355 to 1350 – It occurred from 1346 to 1353
Trivia #2: Of the all-time, top tacklers in Super Bowl history, the New England Patriots have 4 of the top 5 in terms of total tackles. Name them. Bonus question, which of the following is the only non-Patriot in the top 5? – Ike Taylor, Gary Bracket, Bobby Wagner, K.J. Wright, Earl Thomas – Non-Patriot Gary Brackett (Indianapolis Colts). The top 4 Patriots are, in order, Rodney Harrison, Devin McCourty, Patrick Chung and Tedy Bruschi
Trivia #3: Who won the 2017 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 2017)? – Pittsburgh Penguins (NHL), Golden State Warriors (NBA), Houston Astros (MLB), New England Patriots (NFL)

Even though there are days I wish I could change some things that happened in the past, there’s a reason the rear-view mirror is so small and the windshield is so big. Where you’re headed is much more important than what you’ve left behind.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Tater Tot Day!

“Home in the valley
Home in the city
home isn’t pretty
Ain’t no home for me

Home in the darkness
Home on the highway
Home isn’t my way
Home I’ll never be”

– Blue Oyster Cult (Burnin’ For You)

Quickie bonus from Buddy Holly

Friday, January 26, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly.

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo this morning. Now I feel like such a good boy!

Trivia #1: David Pastrnak has reached the 60-point mark already this season, his third time doing that in 43 of fewer games. He becomes the fourth Boston Bruin to do so. Name the other three.
Trivia #2: In the past 50 years, the Patriots have won the Super Bowl 6 times. What is the only other team to win a Super Bowl from the AFC East during that time?
Trivia #3: While it has happened twice since 2019, before 2019, when is the only time two different actors earned Oscars for playing the same character?
Trivia #4: Who was Charles Jewstraw?

Speaking of the Olympics, the summer games begin on July 26 in Paris. With sporting venues scattered across the heart of the French capital, the Opening Ceremony will run through its main artery — the Seine River. Each national delegation will traverse the river on boats, with the 10,500 athletes travelling six kilometers to the world-famous Trocadéro where the final shows will take place.

Liquor store attendant: Excuse me, do you need any help? Me: Yes, but I decided to come here instead.

On this date: January 26, 1697, Isaac Newton received Jean Bernoulli’s 6-month time-limit math problem that previously went unanswered for more than 6 months by “the acutest mathematicians in the world.” Newton solved the problem before he went to bed that night.
January 26, 1962, Bishop Burke of Buffalo Catholic dioceses declares Chubby Checker’s “The Twist” to be impure and bans it from all catholic schools.

Go away: Jim Harbaugh

Stop complaining: Unless you are a Buffalo Bills fan. Then you can go ahead and cry, throw shit, break shit, just let it all out! Can you say, “Wide right!”?

In the Super Bowl era, the number of days between the Detroit Lions’ 1st and 2nd playoff wins was 11,698 days. The number of days between their 2nd and 3rd wins? – 6 days

They said it: “My love for Michigan, playing there and coming back to coach there, leaves a lasting impact. I’ll always be a loyal Wolverine.” said Harbaugh, recently named the head coach of the Los Angeles Chargers. What a blowhard!

Have you been watching the Australian Open (tennis)? Neither have I.

If your coffee order is more than 5 words, you are part of the problem.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Lowell High School, MA, is no longer allowing students to have cellphones in class, calling them a distraction to learning and engagement. OK, my kids are older and I don’t get out much, well documented. But, are you kidding me? Why should any kid be allowed to have a phone in class? I honestly don’t get it.

Claim-to-fame, you’re doing it wrong. A death row inmate, who survived a botched lethal injection in 2022, will be the first person executed by nitrogen hypoxia, a controversial method that’s untested and only authorized in three states.

The Bruins have 7 more points than any other team in the NHL.

The Celtics’ winning percentage is .778. The next closest team in all of the NBA is at .711 (The Timberwolves)

Speaking of the Celtics, I very much enjoy the ‘Mike Gorman Farewell Tour.’ They pay tribute to him in every broadcast, and well deserved. A class act like no other.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Speaking of that death row inmate, his final meal was steak with A.1. sauce, hash browns and eggs. Before that, he was served a breakfast meal that consisted of two biscuits, eggs, grape jelly, applesauce and orange juice at the William C. Holman Correctional Facility in Atmore. 

Article I’ll skip: Fans outraged over explicit AI photos of Taylor Swift

Rookie of the year, 3 championship rings, 3 batting titles, 1 MVP, 2 Gold Gloves. The switch-hitter is the all-time leader in hits (4,256), games played (3,562) and at-bats (14,053). He never took PEDS. Let Pete Rose into the Hall of Fame!

If a player had 200 hits for 21 straight seasons, Pete Rose would still have more. Think about that!

Good news: The U.S economy should avoid a recession in the coming year, according to an increasingly large majority of economists polled by the National Association of Business Economics. The rising optimism apparent in the survey is in line with much of the latest economic data, including a measure of consumer sentiment that last week rose to a 2 1/2-year high. Also, inflation has been falling faster than expected, and the labor market is cooling but not collapsing.

Trivia #1 answer: David Pastrnak has reached the 60-point mark already this season, his third time doing that in 43 of fewer games. He becomes the fourth Boston Bruin to do so. Name the other three. – Bobby Orr, Phil Esposito, Bill Cowley
Trivia #2 answer: In the past 50 years, the Patriots have won the Super Bowl 6 times. What is the only other team to win a Super Bowl from the AFC East during that time? – None. The Miami Dolphins won a Super Bowl in January 13, 1974. More than 50 years ago. 😊
Trivia #3 answer: While it has happened twice since 2019, before 2019, when is the only time two different actors earned Oscars for playing the same character? – Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro both playing the role of “Don” Vito Corleone.
Trivia #4 answer: Who was Charles Jewstraw? – The American speed skater claimed the first-ever Winter Olympic gold medal winning the 500m speed skating event at the Chamonix Games in France.

If you lose a sock in the dryer, it returns as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any containers.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Peanut Brittle Day!

“My daddy is sleepin’
And mama ain’t around
Yeah, daddy just sleepin’
And mama ain’t around
We’re gonna twisty, twisty, twisty
Till we tear the house down”

– Chubby Checker (The Twist)

Friday, January 19, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly.

Never in the history of calm down has anyone ever calmed down after being told to calm down.

Trivia #1: Who was Joyce Randolph?
Trivia #2: Who was in office for the January 19, 1955 1st-ever presidential news conference filmed for television?
Trivia #3: In what sport might you use your paddle to hit a dink into your opponent’s kitchen?
Trivia #4 answer: Three of the 25 largest U.S. cities (by population) don’t have any major pro sports teams (MLB, NFL, NBA or NHL). All three are in what same state? Name them
Trivia #4: Who was the first coach to win three NFL Coach of the Year awards??

So, this cow was farting a lot and ruining the environment, so I helped eat it. You’re welcome. Be a hero, eat meat!

On this date: January 19, 1940, The Three Stooges film “You Nazty Spy!” was released.
January 19, 1974, Notre Dame beats UCLA 71-70 in South Bend, Indiana to end the Bruins’ NCAA record 88-game basketball winning streak
January 19, 2002, Adam Vinatieri kicks the game-winner in OT as the Patriots defeat the Raiders 16-13, Tom Brady’s first playoff win.

Stop complaining: Unless you are a Dallas Cowboys fan and have to deal with Mike McCarthy returning as head coach.

Go away: Roger Goodell (To put a playoff game on Peacock is a big kick-in-the-nuts to fans. Not only do many fans not have Peacock but many bars don’t either. Bastard)

“I could stay awake just to hear you breathing… watch you smile while you are sleeping.” Aerosmith… romantic. The rest of us… restraining order.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Students and adults caught fighting on public school grounds in Washington State, including during youth sports games, could be charged with felonies under new legislation introduced in the state’s House of Representatives. (On school grounds?! Those were the days, weren’t they, everyone chanting “Fight, fight, fight, fight…”)

They said it: “The NFL putting the Chiefs/Dolphins game on Peacock is greedier than any golfer taking LIV money. Roger Goodell is a piece of shit.” – PGA golfer John Daly

Skiing, you’re doing it wrong. Blasts of winter weather have led to unstable snowpacks, resulting in a high danger of avalanches in many parts of the West. Because of the snow and other winter conditions, the avalanche danger remains high across the western U.S. One man was killed and two others rescued after an avalanche last week near Stevens Peak in northern Idaho. Another skier was killed in Olympic Valley in California last Wednesday after an avalanche occurred just after the resort opened for the day. Here’s a tip for these morons, don’t go out when there is are warnings of an avalanche!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Patrick Mahomes on Sunday will be playing in his first career road playoff game having played 12 prior at home and 3 at neutral sites.

Article I’ll skip: Richard Simmons back in the spotlight with unauthorized Pauly Shore biopic

Good news: When US Army veteran and Purple Heart recipient Harry Perez Cerezo’s 100th birthday was coming up last year, he was not sure how he wanted to celebrate the milestone birthday. He jokingly told his niece that he wanted to celebrate at a restaurant where he could see some beautiful women. His niece took him to Hooters. He loved it so much that he decided to celebrate his 101st birthday at Hooters as well, just last week.

Do not accept any Facebook friend requests from Doritos because they are nacho friends.

Joe Flacco. Will anyone ever remember his run to end the Browns’ season, or will they just remember he lost in the Wild Card round throwing two pick-six’s? Doh!

R.I.P. – Brian “Byron” Pare (61) – And just like that, he was gone (Leukemia). A graduate of HHS (Class of ’80), Byron lettered in football, basketball and baseball, a captain on the basketball team, but more than that was a great, fun guy. Son, brother, husband, father, uncle and all-around stand-up guy.
R.I.P. Dante “Danny” Gobbi (67), of complications following a heart attack. Another HHS graduate (Class of ’75), Danny spent 38 years coaching football in Haverhill. He also tended to Haverhill Stadium for many years and worked countless HHS athletic events. Always a smile on his face, son, brother, husband, father, uncle and great guy.

Those two guys above, true Hillies!

Trivia #1 answer: Who was Joyce Randolph? – She was the last living member of the iconic 50’s sitcom “The Honeymooners.” She played Trixie Norton, wife of Ed. She died at age 99 this past week.
Trivia #2 answer: Who was in office for the January 19, 1955 1st-ever presidential news conference filmed for television? – Dwight D. Eisenhower
Trivia #3: In what sport might you use your paddle to hit a dink into your opponent’s kitchen? – Pickleball
Trivia #4 answer: Three of the 25 largest U.S. cities (by population) don’t have any major pro sports teams (MLB, NFL, NBA or NHL). All three are in what same state? Name them – Texas (Austin, Fort Worth, El Paso)
Trivia #4 answer: Who was the first coach to win three NFL Coach of the Year awards?? – Don Shula in ’64, ’67, ’68 (Baltimore) and then a fourth with Miami in ’72.

Don’t put energy into people that don’t put energy into you.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Popcorn Day!

“Don’t wanna close my eyes
I don’t wanna fall asleep
‘Cause I miss you, baby
And I don’t want to miss a thing”

– Aerosmith

Enough of that romantic crap (turn it up!)

Friday, January 12, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly.

Certain beers give me a hangover… I’ve narrowed it down though, I think. It’s between the 15th and 26th beer that gets me.

Trivia #1: On January 12, 1946, the NFL champions, Rams, were given permission to move to Los Angeles. Where were they moving from?
Trivia #2: In 1985, the Bears beat the Rams in the NFC Championship game. Other than that year, at least one of two teams played each year in the NFC Championship game from 1981 to 1994, once playing each other.
Trivia #3: How many rushing yards did quarterback Dan Marino have in his career? – 87, 101, 109, 115, 127, 152
Trivia #4: In what year were the Olympic rings presented publicly? – 1904, 1907, 1913, 1918, 1924
Trivia #5: Which NFL team scored the fewest points this past regular season and which team gave up the fewest?

On this date: January 12, 1906, the Dow Jones Industrial Average closes above 100 (100.26) for the first time
January 12, 1959, Berry Gordy Jr.’s Tamla Records (later Motown) begins operating in Detroit, Michigan
January 12, 1971, “All in the Family” premieres on CBS featuring the 1st flush toilet on television

Go away: Jeffrey Epstein (Oh, he is gone) and Draymond Green

The NBA recently reinstated Draymond Green from his indefinite suspension for being a punk. OK, my words. Shortly after the suspension was announced, the league released a statement about Green’s willingness to go through the necessary steps to address his conduct. “Green completed steps that demonstrated his commitment to conforming his conduct to standards expected of NBA players. He has engaged in meetings with a counselor and has met jointly on multiple occasions with representatives of the NBA, the Warriors and the National Basketball Players Association, both of which will continue throughout the season.” Ya, let’s see how this goes.

Let me check my giveashitometer. Nope, nothing.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Nearly 2,000 migrants being sheltered in a tent shelter in New York City are being transferred to a nearby high school, where the students will have to pivot to remote learning due to the disruption it is causing.

I’m looking forward to the Chiefs/Dolphins game tomorrow night where temperatures are expected to be in the single digits or below zero, compounded by the wind. Those types of games are always fun.

Speaking of the playoffs, a very intriguing matchup between the Rams and Lions where both quarterbacks are going up against their former team.

Speaking of football, what a week for coaches! First, Mike Vrabel is fired by Tennessee, then Pete Carroll by Seattle, then Nick Saban retires and then less than 24 hours later Belichick and the Patriots “part ways.”. There were other firings but we don’t care about those guys.

They said it, part deux: “Nick Saban is the best investment this university has ever made,” said Alabama Chancellor Robert Witt. Now, I am not a Nick Saban fan but the numbers don’t lie. 6x national champion, 9x SEC champion, 206-29 career record in 17 seasons. Since Nick Saban arrived in 2007, Alabama’s enrollment has increased from 25,000 students to 40,000 students. That’s a 60% jump compared to a 10% national average.

And speaking of numbers not lying, Bill Belichick led the Patriots to 17 division titles, 9 AFC Championships and 6 Super Bowl titles. He has 333 wins, second behind Don Shula’s 347.

They said it: “In the hot stove season, (Red Sox) John Henry is cooking with Sterno.” – Anonymous

I find it annoying, and frankly kind of shallow, when an announcer talks about two teams and which one wants it more. Don’t tell me one team wins over another because “they wanted it more.” That’s bullshit. You call that commentary?

In case you missed it, the United States won the 2024 IIHF World Junior Hockey Championship by beating host nation Sweden 6-2 in the gold-medal game on Jan. 5. U-S-A, U-S-A!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Cynthia Frelund, NFL Network Analytics Expert, projected which of the 14 teams in the 2023 NFL playoffs are most likely to appear in — and win — Super Bowl LVIII in Las Vegas on Feb. 11. She said, “As I’ve done in past years…” Funny, she didn’t give any results from prior years’ predictions.

Since I mentioned the Detroit Pistons’ record for consecutive losses on December 29, they finally won on December 30th, by 2 points, and have since gone 0-6. Here I am mentioning them again…

Article I’ll skip: Predicting the next 10 World Series winners

WTF: I keep getting alerts from National Grid that their crews are prepared for such-n-such storm. Really? I hope so after the outrageous amount of money they charge us. We expect you to be prepared!

I don’t snore. I dream I’m a tractor.

Trivia #1 answer: On January 12, 1946, the NFL champions, Rams, were given permission to move to Los Angeles. Where were they moving from? – Cleveland
Trivia #2 answer: In 1985, the Bears beat the Rams in the NFC Championship game. Other than that year, at least one of two teams played each year in the NFC Championship game from 1981 to 1994, once playing each other – The Redskins and 49ers (They played one another in 1983)
Trivia #3 answer: How many rushing yards did quarterback Dan Marino have in his career? – 87, 101, 109, 115, 127, 152 – He had 87 yards rushing in his career
Trivia #4 answer: In what year were the Olympic rings presented publicly? – 1904, 1907, 1913, 1918, 1924 – They were presented to the public in 1913
Trivia #5 answer: Which NFL team scored the fewest points this past regular season and which team gave up the fewest? – The Patriots and Panthers tied for the fewest scored (236) and Baltimore gave up the fewest (280)

Most people have heard of Karl Marx, but few know of his sister Onya, an Olympic runner. Her name is still mentioned at the start of every running race.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Kiss A Ginger Day!

“If you need me, call me
No matter where you are
No matter how far (don’t worry, baby)
Just call my name
I’ll be there in a hurry
You don’t have to worry”

– Marvin Gaye

Friday, January 5, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly.

That awkward moment between never drinking again and noon.

Trivia #1: The Patriots and Red Sox both finished last in their divisions, in the same year, for just the 2nd time in the 64 years they both existed. The other year was 1992. Who were the Red Sox manager and Patriots coach in 1992?
Trivia #2: Who was Charles F. Dowd?
Trivia #3: What happened on this day in 1997 in Patriots history?
Trivia #4: All players, in their first 30 games of a season, in the 3-point era, with… PTS ≥ 500 AST ≥ 150 TRB ≥ 100 BLK ≥ 35 STL ≥ 35 2P% ≥ .475 3P% ≥ .400 FT% ≥ .800 – Larry Bird and ???

Go away: NFL referees

For Sale, Chris.

I’m opening a gym called “Resolutions.” It will have exercise equipment for the first two weeks and then it turns into a bar for the rest of the year.

Are you ready for some football! 20 NFL teams remain in playoff contention entering the final weekend of the season, tying the record set in 2006.

Not for nothing, but the Indy/Houston game tomorrow night is a playoff game as are several games on Sunday. Let the snow fall, shovel later.

On this date: January 5, 1886, the “Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” by Robert Louis Stevenson is published.
January 5, 1971, the Globetrotters lose 100-99 to the NJ Reds, ending their 2,495-game winning streak.

Stop complaining: It’s a new year. Just stop and be thankful for what you have, not what you have not.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The rise of plant-based options continues with a focus on seafood. Imagine “salmon” made from carrots, “scallops” made from mushrooms, and sushi topped with root vegetable “tuna.” It might sound strange, but in 2024, this is what we’ll be ordering. (Hmmm, sounds similar to making a man into a woman or vice-versa. It is, but it ain’t. Call it what you want)

In case you missed it, there were 5 goals scored in the first 8 minutes of last night’s Bruins/Penguins game. The Bruins lost.

Spirit Airlines terminated an agent who walked a boy who was flying as an unaccompanied minor to the wrong gate, causing him to land at the Orlando airport instead of Fort Myers, more than 160 miles away. Grandma, who was picking him up, was pissed!

They said it: “Don’t make me come down there.” – God

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The NBA season record for teams scoring >= 140 points in a game is 52 set last season. This year’s pace is set for 90 games. D-fense!

Article I’ll skip: First “Golden Bachelor” wedding packed full of surprises, special moments.

Good news (maybe): According to Fundstrat’s Tom Lee, the S&P 500 stands a chance of soaring as much as 30% this year, with the expectation that inflation will continue to drop and the Fed will finally slash interest rates. Lee was spot-on in his stock market forecast in 2023, having predicted the S&P 500 would soar over 20% to end the year around 4,750. The benchmark stock index ended the year around 4,769, less than 1% away from Lee’s target.

WTF: South African athlete Oscar Pistorius was released from prison on parole on Friday after serving nearly nine years for the shooting death of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, on Valentine’s Day in 2013. WTF, that was 9 years ago!!!?

It really is a great time for sports – NFL playoffs looming, college football playoffs, college basketball, NBA/NHL seasons in full swing and the PGA is getting underway. Screw the gym, pull up the recliner.

I told you, the kiss of death. Those of you in the northeast, git’ your shovels out!

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym this morning. That’s 11 years in a row now.

Trivia #1 answer: The Patriots and Red Sox both finished last in their divisions, in the same year, for just the 2nd time in the 64 years they both existed. The other year was 1992. Who were the Red Sox manager and Patriots coach in 1992? – Butch Hobson and Dick MacPherson
Trivia #2: Who was Charles F. Dowd? – Dowd created time zones. He put the rotation of the Earth, the rise of the sun, the movements of the heavens and the genesis of eternity itself on an artificial schedule for the benefit of mankind.
Trivia #3 answer: What happened on this day in 1997 in Patriots history? – The Patriots won their first home playoff game in their 36-year history.
Trivia #4 answer: All players, in their first 30 games of a season, in the 3-point era, with… PTS ≥ 500 AST ≥ 150 TRB ≥ 100 BLK ≥ 35 STL ≥ 35 2P% ≥ .475 3P% ≥ .400 FT% ≥ .800 – Larry Bird, Derrick White (Really, that’s what it said! It’s on the internet!)

Those we love remain with us for love itself lives on, and cherished memories never fade because a loved one’s gone. Those we love can never be more than a thought apart, for as long as there is a memory, they’ll live on in our heart.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Whipped Cream Day!

“And I know if she had me back again
Well I would never make her sad.
I’ve gotta heart full of soul.”

Yardbirds

Friday, December 29, 2023

by fasted86

Briefly. (Nope)

A bottle of wine is the perfect amount for two people, provided one of them is not drinking any.

Trivia #1: What is Xiangqi?
Trivia #2: In 1890, the US 7th Cavalry massacred 200+ captive Sioux at Wounded Knee. What US state were they in?
Trivia #3: What NHL player was the fastest to 100 goals (# of games)?
Trivia #4: 50 years ago…Who won the 1973 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 1973)?

Go away: OK, don’t go away – Joe Flacco. Come on, give it up for Joe. Flacco become the first player in NFL history to have 250 passing yards and multiple passing touchdowns in each of his first five games with a franchise. The Cleveland Browns are now 4-1 under Flacco and clinched a playoff spot.

Wisdom has been chasing you… but you have always been faster.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: California stores with more than 500 employees will soon be fined for not having a “gender-neutral” toy section once a new state law kicks in Jan. 1. The bill will force stores that sell childcare items or toys to pay a $500 fine should the store fail to create a gender-neutral toy section for kids 12 years old and under. A childcare item, according to the legislation text, “means any product designed or intended by the manufacturer to facilitate sleep, relaxation, or the feeding of children, or to help children with sucking or teething.” Huh?

On this date: December 29, 1972, Life Magazine ceased publication
December 29, 1982, Jamaican Post issues commemorative postage stamp featuring reggae singer Bob Marley

Remember, Sunday is December 31 or… 12-31-23 – 123123! Whoa!

Christmas shopping, you’re doing it wrong: Abrielle Baldwin, her two sons, ages 6 and 10 months, were out shopping with her two teenage brothers, ages 15 and 14, and their mother. Baldwin’s 14-year-old brother was apparently upset that his older brother was getting more gifts than him, sparking an argument. The argument carried on at Baldwin’s home. The 14-year-old took out a handgun and threatened to shoot his older brother in the head. Family members present at the home tried separating the teens. The younger teen then began arguing with Baldwin. He then allegedly shot her in the chest with a .40 caliber handgun. The 15-year-old teen then took out his own .45 caliber handgun and shot his brother in the stomach. 

In all-world quarterback Patrick Mahomes’ last 8 games, he is 3-5 (.375), hitting 64.6% of his passes for 1,921 yards, 11 TD and 8 INT. DOH!

Speaking of futility, the Detroit Pistons lost in OT to the Celtics last night tying the record with their 28th consecutive loss. The night before they set the record for losses in a single season.

They said it: “I’m unbelievably proud of the group, the way they bring it. They’ve heard all the stuff about our team and they just keep bringing it. I know it’s going to pay off.” – Detroit Pistons coach Monty Williams (In other words, they have a chance!)

The Celtics meanwhile are 15-0 at home and have the league’s best record at 24-6.

Despite some recent shoddy play, the Bruins are still tops in goals allowed and second in total points.

Seen on Twitter: “Taylor Swift is to the Kansas City Chiefs what Yoko Ono was to the Beatles.” And “Thank you, Taylor Swift for Yoko Ono’ing the Chiefs.”

Betting, you’re doing it right. Did you see the guy who hit a $5, 14-man anytime touchdown parlay for $489K? Wowza!

WTF! The Chinese Xiangqi Association (CXA) announced it was stripping Yan Chenglong of his title of “Xiangqi King” over cheating allegations and “extremely bad character.” Officials addressed the 48-year-old champion’s behavior in the post-game celebrations. Yan apparently consumed alcohol with others in his room on the night of the 17th, and then he defecated in the bathtub of the room he was staying in on the 18th. How did he cheat, you ask? Yan was rumored to have used anal beads with wireless transmitters to help him in the contests. Really.

Interest-free checking. Me: “I’d like to open an account.” Teller: “Who cares?”

Before you go betting on the Buffalo Bills tomorrow, keep in mind that since 2000, at home, they are 4-19 (.174) vs. Bill Belichick and 103-67 (.606) vs. the rest of the league. 

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: See trivia question #1
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: Bailey Zappe is 4-2 after 6 starts. Tom Brady was 4-2 after 6 starts.

Again?! A tourist from Singapore tragically plummeted to her death from a cliff (70 feet) at a New York state park last week while hiking with her husband. She and her husband had been hiking when they stopped to take photos at the edge of the cliff. 

Studies have shown that the reason you may be awake right now is because you are not asleep.

T-minus 9 days and the NFL still has not announced the start times of games next Sunday, the final weekend of the regular season.

Good news: Kiss-of-death maybe but, I still haven’t shoveled snow this season.

Article I’ll skip: CFP (College Football Playoff) odds… for next season

Trivia #1 answer: What is Xiangqi? – It is the official title of what is known as Chinese Chess.
Trivia #2: In 1890, the US 7th Cavalry massacred 200+ captive Sioux at Wounded Knee. What US state were they in? – South Dakota
Trivia #3: What NHL player was the fastest to 100 goals (# of games)? – Mike Bossy (129), (Teemu Selanne is second at 134)
Trivia #4: 50 years ago…Who won the 1973 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 1973)? – NHL (Montreal Canadiens), NBA (New York Knicks), MLB (Oakland Athletics), NFL (Miami Dolphins)

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma, well played.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Be safe, and have a healthy, happy New Years. And enjoy the college bowl games!

Happy National No Interruptions Day! (Last work day of the year)

“My son turned ten just the other day
He said, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play
Can you teach me to throw”, I said “Not today
I got a lot to do”, he said, “That’s okay”

Harry Chapin (Cat’s In The Cradle)

Friday, December 22, 2023

by fasted86

Briefly. (Not really but it’s a long, holiday weekend. Relax!)

I don’t always roll a joint, but when I do it’s my ankle.

Trivia #1: What team currently holds the longest active playoff drought (13 seasons) in all of the NHL, NBA, NFL & MLB?
Trivia #2: What two schools play in the Egg Bowl each season?
Trivia #3: The term “bowl” originated from the Rose Bowl stadium, site of the first postseason college football games. The Rose Bowl Stadium, in turn, takes its name and bowl-shaped design from what other stadium?

Go away: The Los Angeles Dodgers

And tonight thank God it’s them, instead of you.

I don’t know, I like listening to Christmas tunes during the season. Having said that, I’m glad the season is nearing its end as I’ve heard some songs 100 times, it seems. There most annoying? It has to be The Chipmunk Song. Those voices piercing through my head…

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: While consumers can fall victim to a variety of scams, experts say gift card draining was one of the most common scams that affected people’s lives in 2023. What’s worse, just about any gift card is vulnerable. Card draining occurs when a thief tampers with a gift card and “drains” the money before the funds are used by the consumer. AARP reported last year that 23% of U.S. consumers had given or received gift cards that did not have money on them.

On this day: December 22, 1882, the first string of Christmas lights was created by Thomas Edison

The Bruins aren’t as hot as they were at the beginning of the season but they are still second in the NHL in points.

Speaking of hockey, the Celtics are 14-0 at home to start the season, second only to their 1957/1958 season when they started 18-0.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A lawsuit accuses Amazon of enabling a West Virginia man to spy on an underage Brazilian girl with a hidden camera. The device, which resembles a clothes hook, was purchased from Amazon and used to record the girl. The suit alleges that Amazon failed to remove the camera from its platform despite inspecting it three times and knowing the potential harm it could cause.

I don’t know, if they’ll be snow, but have a cup of cheer (okay)

The NFL has yet to announce the starting times of games for week 18, the final Sunday of the season. Bastards, with just over two weeks to go. Regardless, according to ESPN, the lowest ticket prices for those games range from $223 for Buffalo at Miami all the way down to $9 for Tampa Bay at Carolina. That’s disgusting.

They said it: “I received my bachelor’s degree in Calcium Anthropology… the study of milkmen.” – Comedian Steven Wright
They said it, part deux: “Well you see, Buddy, your father is on the naughty list” – Santa, to Buddy the elf

Yoshinobu Yamamoto, a 25-year-old who has been named the MVP of the Pacific League in the Nippon Professional Baseball league in Japan for three straight years, has agreed to a 12-year, $325 million deal with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Yoshinobu’s contract is the largest ever given to a pitcher in the history of baseball, breaking Gerrit Cole’s $324 million pact he signed in 2019. It also shatters the record for the largest deal ever given to a Japanese import by more than double the previous amount – that had belonged to Masahiro Tanaka, who in 2014 signed a seven-year, $155 million deal with the New York Yankees. Again, he’s 25 years old.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: American wrestler Hulk Hogan announced that he had been baptized in a special ceremony at the Indian Rocks Baptist Church in Florida.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: Vanna White has worn more than 7,000 outfits on “Wheel of Fortune”

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas… keep dreaming

Good news: Widely regarded as the breakout year for AI, 2023 ushered in a whole crop of new and improved tech tools, many of which have impacted the health and wellness space. Andre Esteva, CEO and co-founder of ArteraAI, a precision medicine company in California, described cancer research as “fertile ground for AI.” “We’re using it to find hidden patterns in data, personalize treatment decision-making and help predict treatment benefit,” he said. AI is helping to speed up clinical trials and opening doors to new possibilities in health. “Imagine AI designing cancer treatments tailored to your unique genome — the possibilities are limitless.”

Sort of good news: The national average price of gas has declined 13 straight weeks, falling to its lowest level since 2021. (It’s still too high)

Article I’ll skip: Bill Belichick among coaches on hot seat as NFL season nears end
Another article I’ll skip: Santa Claus falls on Madonna back-up dancer during lap dance attempt gone wrong

The days get longer starting today. See, it wasn’t that bad!

Trivia #1 answer: What team currently holds the longest active playoff drought (13 seasons) in all of the NHL, NBA, NFL & MLB? – The New York Jets
Trivia #2 answer: What two schools play in the Egg Bowl each season? – Mississippi State and Ole Miss
Trivia #3 answer: The term “bowl” originated from the Rose Bowl stadium, site of the first postseason college football games. The Rose Bowl Stadium, in turn, takes its name and bowl-shaped design from what stadium? – The Yale Bowl

You’ve heard of Elf on the Shelf, but have you ever heard of return your f*n shopping cart to the goddamn stall, you inconsiderate piece of shit?

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Forefather’s Day!

And have a Merry Christmas, however you choose to celebrate. ‘Tis the season, spread some cheer.

“Said Santa to a boy child, ‘What have you been longin’ for?’
‘All I want for Christmas is a rock ‘n’ roll ‘lectric guitar’
And then away went Rudolph whizzin’ like a shootin’ star”

(Sorry, but there wasn’t a Chuck Berry video-version out there worthy of posting)

Christmas bonus!

“They’re singing Deck The Halls
But it’s not like Christmas at all
‘Cause I remember when you were here
And all the fun we had last year”

– Darlene Love (Baby Please Come Home)