Tag: nfl

Friday, December 29, 2023

by fasted86

Briefly. (Nope)

A bottle of wine is the perfect amount for two people, provided one of them is not drinking any.

Trivia #1: What is Xiangqi?
Trivia #2: In 1890, the US 7th Cavalry massacred 200+ captive Sioux at Wounded Knee. What US state were they in?
Trivia #3: What NHL player was the fastest to 100 goals (# of games)?
Trivia #4: 50 years ago…Who won the 1973 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 1973)?

Go away: OK, don’t go away – Joe Flacco. Come on, give it up for Joe. Flacco become the first player in NFL history to have 250 passing yards and multiple passing touchdowns in each of his first five games with a franchise. The Cleveland Browns are now 4-1 under Flacco and clinched a playoff spot.

Wisdom has been chasing you… but you have always been faster.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: California stores with more than 500 employees will soon be fined for not having a “gender-neutral” toy section once a new state law kicks in Jan. 1. The bill will force stores that sell childcare items or toys to pay a $500 fine should the store fail to create a gender-neutral toy section for kids 12 years old and under. A childcare item, according to the legislation text, “means any product designed or intended by the manufacturer to facilitate sleep, relaxation, or the feeding of children, or to help children with sucking or teething.” Huh?

On this date: December 29, 1972, Life Magazine ceased publication
December 29, 1982, Jamaican Post issues commemorative postage stamp featuring reggae singer Bob Marley

Remember, Sunday is December 31 or… 12-31-23 – 123123! Whoa!

Christmas shopping, you’re doing it wrong: Abrielle Baldwin, her two sons, ages 6 and 10 months, were out shopping with her two teenage brothers, ages 15 and 14, and their mother. Baldwin’s 14-year-old brother was apparently upset that his older brother was getting more gifts than him, sparking an argument. The argument carried on at Baldwin’s home. The 14-year-old took out a handgun and threatened to shoot his older brother in the head. Family members present at the home tried separating the teens. The younger teen then began arguing with Baldwin. He then allegedly shot her in the chest with a .40 caliber handgun. The 15-year-old teen then took out his own .45 caliber handgun and shot his brother in the stomach. 

In all-world quarterback Patrick Mahomes’ last 8 games, he is 3-5 (.375), hitting 64.6% of his passes for 1,921 yards, 11 TD and 8 INT. DOH!

Speaking of futility, the Detroit Pistons lost in OT to the Celtics last night tying the record with their 28th consecutive loss. The night before they set the record for losses in a single season.

They said it: “I’m unbelievably proud of the group, the way they bring it. They’ve heard all the stuff about our team and they just keep bringing it. I know it’s going to pay off.” – Detroit Pistons coach Monty Williams (In other words, they have a chance!)

The Celtics meanwhile are 15-0 at home and have the league’s best record at 24-6.

Despite some recent shoddy play, the Bruins are still tops in goals allowed and second in total points.

Seen on Twitter: “Taylor Swift is to the Kansas City Chiefs what Yoko Ono was to the Beatles.” And “Thank you, Taylor Swift for Yoko Ono’ing the Chiefs.”

Betting, you’re doing it right. Did you see the guy who hit a $5, 14-man anytime touchdown parlay for $489K? Wowza!

WTF! The Chinese Xiangqi Association (CXA) announced it was stripping Yan Chenglong of his title of “Xiangqi King” over cheating allegations and “extremely bad character.” Officials addressed the 48-year-old champion’s behavior in the post-game celebrations. Yan apparently consumed alcohol with others in his room on the night of the 17th, and then he defecated in the bathtub of the room he was staying in on the 18th. How did he cheat, you ask? Yan was rumored to have used anal beads with wireless transmitters to help him in the contests. Really.

Interest-free checking. Me: “I’d like to open an account.” Teller: “Who cares?”

Before you go betting on the Buffalo Bills tomorrow, keep in mind that since 2000, at home, they are 4-19 (.174) vs. Bill Belichick and 103-67 (.606) vs. the rest of the league. 

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: See trivia question #1
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: Bailey Zappe is 4-2 after 6 starts. Tom Brady was 4-2 after 6 starts.

Again?! A tourist from Singapore tragically plummeted to her death from a cliff (70 feet) at a New York state park last week while hiking with her husband. She and her husband had been hiking when they stopped to take photos at the edge of the cliff. 

Studies have shown that the reason you may be awake right now is because you are not asleep.

T-minus 9 days and the NFL still has not announced the start times of games next Sunday, the final weekend of the regular season.

Good news: Kiss-of-death maybe but, I still haven’t shoveled snow this season.

Article I’ll skip: CFP (College Football Playoff) odds… for next season

Trivia #1 answer: What is Xiangqi? – It is the official title of what is known as Chinese Chess.
Trivia #2: In 1890, the US 7th Cavalry massacred 200+ captive Sioux at Wounded Knee. What US state were they in? – South Dakota
Trivia #3: What NHL player was the fastest to 100 goals (# of games)? – Mike Bossy (129), (Teemu Selanne is second at 134)
Trivia #4: 50 years ago…Who won the 1973 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 1973)? – NHL (Montreal Canadiens), NBA (New York Knicks), MLB (Oakland Athletics), NFL (Miami Dolphins)

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma, well played.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Be safe, and have a healthy, happy New Years. And enjoy the college bowl games!

Happy National No Interruptions Day! (Last work day of the year)

“My son turned ten just the other day
He said, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play
Can you teach me to throw”, I said “Not today
I got a lot to do”, he said, “That’s okay”

Harry Chapin (Cat’s In The Cradle)

Friday, December 22, 2023

by fasted86

Briefly. (Not really but it’s a long, holiday weekend. Relax!)

I don’t always roll a joint, but when I do it’s my ankle.

Trivia #1: What team currently holds the longest active playoff drought (13 seasons) in all of the NHL, NBA, NFL & MLB?
Trivia #2: What two schools play in the Egg Bowl each season?
Trivia #3: The term “bowl” originated from the Rose Bowl stadium, site of the first postseason college football games. The Rose Bowl Stadium, in turn, takes its name and bowl-shaped design from what other stadium?

Go away: The Los Angeles Dodgers

And tonight thank God it’s them, instead of you.

I don’t know, I like listening to Christmas tunes during the season. Having said that, I’m glad the season is nearing its end as I’ve heard some songs 100 times, it seems. There most annoying? It has to be The Chipmunk Song. Those voices piercing through my head…

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: While consumers can fall victim to a variety of scams, experts say gift card draining was one of the most common scams that affected people’s lives in 2023. What’s worse, just about any gift card is vulnerable. Card draining occurs when a thief tampers with a gift card and “drains” the money before the funds are used by the consumer. AARP reported last year that 23% of U.S. consumers had given or received gift cards that did not have money on them.

On this day: December 22, 1882, the first string of Christmas lights was created by Thomas Edison

The Bruins aren’t as hot as they were at the beginning of the season but they are still second in the NHL in points.

Speaking of hockey, the Celtics are 14-0 at home to start the season, second only to their 1957/1958 season when they started 18-0.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A lawsuit accuses Amazon of enabling a West Virginia man to spy on an underage Brazilian girl with a hidden camera. The device, which resembles a clothes hook, was purchased from Amazon and used to record the girl. The suit alleges that Amazon failed to remove the camera from its platform despite inspecting it three times and knowing the potential harm it could cause.

I don’t know, if they’ll be snow, but have a cup of cheer (okay)

The NFL has yet to announce the starting times of games for week 18, the final Sunday of the season. Bastards, with just over two weeks to go. Regardless, according to ESPN, the lowest ticket prices for those games range from $223 for Buffalo at Miami all the way down to $9 for Tampa Bay at Carolina. That’s disgusting.

They said it: “I received my bachelor’s degree in Calcium Anthropology… the study of milkmen.” – Comedian Steven Wright
They said it, part deux: “Well you see, Buddy, your father is on the naughty list” – Santa, to Buddy the elf

Yoshinobu Yamamoto, a 25-year-old who has been named the MVP of the Pacific League in the Nippon Professional Baseball league in Japan for three straight years, has agreed to a 12-year, $325 million deal with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Yoshinobu’s contract is the largest ever given to a pitcher in the history of baseball, breaking Gerrit Cole’s $324 million pact he signed in 2019. It also shatters the record for the largest deal ever given to a Japanese import by more than double the previous amount – that had belonged to Masahiro Tanaka, who in 2014 signed a seven-year, $155 million deal with the New York Yankees. Again, he’s 25 years old.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: American wrestler Hulk Hogan announced that he had been baptized in a special ceremony at the Indian Rocks Baptist Church in Florida.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: Vanna White has worn more than 7,000 outfits on “Wheel of Fortune”

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas… keep dreaming

Good news: Widely regarded as the breakout year for AI, 2023 ushered in a whole crop of new and improved tech tools, many of which have impacted the health and wellness space. Andre Esteva, CEO and co-founder of ArteraAI, a precision medicine company in California, described cancer research as “fertile ground for AI.” “We’re using it to find hidden patterns in data, personalize treatment decision-making and help predict treatment benefit,” he said. AI is helping to speed up clinical trials and opening doors to new possibilities in health. “Imagine AI designing cancer treatments tailored to your unique genome — the possibilities are limitless.”

Sort of good news: The national average price of gas has declined 13 straight weeks, falling to its lowest level since 2021. (It’s still too high)

Article I’ll skip: Bill Belichick among coaches on hot seat as NFL season nears end
Another article I’ll skip: Santa Claus falls on Madonna back-up dancer during lap dance attempt gone wrong

The days get longer starting today. See, it wasn’t that bad!

Trivia #1 answer: What team currently holds the longest active playoff drought (13 seasons) in all of the NHL, NBA, NFL & MLB? – The New York Jets
Trivia #2 answer: What two schools play in the Egg Bowl each season? – Mississippi State and Ole Miss
Trivia #3 answer: The term “bowl” originated from the Rose Bowl stadium, site of the first postseason college football games. The Rose Bowl Stadium, in turn, takes its name and bowl-shaped design from what stadium? – The Yale Bowl

You’ve heard of Elf on the Shelf, but have you ever heard of return your f*n shopping cart to the goddamn stall, you inconsiderate piece of shit?

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Forefather’s Day!

And have a Merry Christmas, however you choose to celebrate. ‘Tis the season, spread some cheer.

“Said Santa to a boy child, ‘What have you been longin’ for?’
‘All I want for Christmas is a rock ‘n’ roll ‘lectric guitar’
And then away went Rudolph whizzin’ like a shootin’ star”

(Sorry, but there wasn’t a Chuck Berry video-version out there worthy of posting)

Christmas bonus!

“They’re singing Deck The Halls
But it’s not like Christmas at all
‘Cause I remember when you were here
And all the fun we had last year”

– Darlene Love (Baby Please Come Home)