Blog

Briefly.

Not every woman realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why your broke.

Trivia #1: What does “ZIP” stand for in Zip Code?
Trivia #2: How many separate stints did Billy Martin have as manager of the New York Yankees? – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Trivia #3: Which of the following professions was not one of Jerry Springer’s? – Broadcaster, Journalist, Writer, Actor, Producer, Lawyer, Politician
Trivia #4: Who is “Masa?”
Trivia #5: How many MLB players have hit two homeruns in one inning? – 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 705
Trivia #6: Which two of the following schools are NOT in the top five in terms of having the most players drafted into the NFL? – Oklahoma, Alabama, Florida, USC, Notre Dame, Michigan, Ohio State

I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.

On this day: April 28, 1919, American stuntman and parachute developer Leslie Irvin (23) makes first premeditated free-fall parachute jump from a plane above the Army Air Service’s McCook Field near Dayton, Ohio. (I love how this reads “premeditated”)

The Red Sox are 13-13 and in last place in the AL East. At .500 they would be 2^nd in the AL Central, tied for 2^nd in the NL West and tied for 3^rd in the NL East. Just sayin’

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A Vermont elementary school is reportedly removing “male” and “female” language from its fifth grade science lessons covering the human body, puberty and reproduction. Teachers would now only use “gender-inclusive language” in these lessons in order to align their curriculum with the school’s equity policy. Terms like “male” and “boy” would be replaced with “person who produces sperm.” Likewise, “female” and “girl” would be replaced with a “person who produces eggs.”

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: A.J. McCarron’s was 28-of-35 passing in the St. Loius BattleHawks’ 53-28 win over the Orlando Guardians with 420 passing yards and six touchdown passes. His six touchdown passes put him in the upper echelon of XFL history. He has 24 touchdown passes this season, setting the record for most in a single season in a league. He broke Tommy Maddox’s record set in 2001 for the LA Extreme.

Game 5, you’re doing it wrong. On consecutive nights, the Celtics and Bruins lost game 5 and their respective chances to close out their series. (At least the Celtics redeemed themselves last night)

Article I’ll skip: ESPN’s Jalen Rose blasts Phil Jackson over comments about not watching the NBA anymore.

U.S. residents are spending more money to purchase legal cannabis than they are on chocolate, craft beer and topical pain relief. Americans spent roughly $30 billion on legal marijuana in 2022 while only spending around $20 billion on chocolate. Though the legal purchase of marijuana is becoming increasingly popular, sales still fell behind the tobacco industry, which made around $53 billion last year despite a steady decline.

Good news: Jim and Stacy Chaplin, parents of one of the slain University of Idaho students (Ethan Chapin) back in November, emerged from isolation and announced the creation of “Ethan’s Smile” at Tulip Valley Farms in Mount Vernon, Washington. ‘Ethan’s Smile’ will fund scholarships for students in Skagit Valley, Washington to the University of Idaho. 

R.I.P. Jerry Springer (79) – Springer, the former Cincinnati mayor and long time TV host whose tabloid talk show was known for outrageous arguments, thrown chairs and physical confrontations between sparring couples and homewreckers.

Trivia #1 answer: What does “ZIP” stand for in Zip Code? – Zone Improvement Plan
Trivia #2 answer: How many separate stints did Billy Martin have as manager of the New York Yankees? – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 – the answer is 5
Trivia #3 answer: Which of the following professions was not one of Jerry Springer’s? – Broadcaster, Journalist, Writer, Actor, Producer, Lawyer, Politician – He was not a writer
Trivia #4 answer: Who is “Masa?” – The Red Sox’ Masataka Yoshida
Trivia #5 answer: How many MLB players have hit two homeruns in one inning? – 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 – 60, the most recent being Masa!
Trivia #6: Which two of the following schools are NOT in the top five in terms of having the most players drafted into the NFL? – Oklahoma, Alabama, Florida, USC, Notre Dame, Michigan, Ohio State – Alabama (6^th) and Florida (9^th)

I don’t mean to brag but… I just put a puzzle together in one day and the box said 2-4 years.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Superhero Day!

“He’s got this dream about buying some land
He’s gonna give up the booze and the one-night stands
And then he’ll settle down
In some quiet little town
And forget about everything

But you know he’ll always keep moving
And you know he’s never gonna stop moving
‘Cause he’s rolling, he’s the rolling stone”

– Gerry Rafferty

Briefly.

Whoever snuck the “s” in “fast food” was a clever little bastard.

Trivia #1: What color is Pantone 342?
Trivia #2: Who is the only person to have played for the Boston Bruins, Boston Celtics and Boston Red Sox?
Trivia #3: Who is the only goaltender to have his name appear on the Stanley Cup as the captain of the cup-winning team? – Jacques Plante, Charlie Gardiner, Patrick Roy, Terry Sawchuk, Kippy Manseau

I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

On this day: April 21, 1918 – World War I: German fighter ace Baron Manfred von Richthofen “The Red Baron”, shot down and killed over Vaux sur Somme in France, Canadian pilot Arthur Roy Brown credited with the kill

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: This week’s sign of the apocalypse: CENTCOM, which is tasked with safeguarding U.S. national security in the Middle East and Southeast Asia, just hired Dr .Andrew Moore as its first AI advisor. Moore is the former director of Google Cloud AI and former dean of the Carnegie Mellon University School of Computer Science, and he’ll be working with Schuyler Moore, CENTCOM’s chief technology officer. They both agreed that while some are imagining AI-driven weapons, the U.S. military aims to keep humans in the decision-making seat, and using AI to assess massive amounts of data that helps the people sitting in those seats.

Just another reason why The Masters is such a great event. I received this email from masters.com: We hope you enjoyed the 87th Masters Tournament. At Augusta National Golf Club, we are committed to elevating every patron and fan experience related to the Masters. To help us better serve our fans, we invite you to share feedback on your Masters experience through this brief survey.

Stop complaining. When looking at fatalities related to tornadoes, 2023 is stacking up to be one of the highest on record. In 2011, 553 people died in tornadoes. With approximately 70 deaths, this year is already within the top 10 for deaths.

Article I’ll skip: William Shatner forecasts future of space flight, gives look into new FOX series. (If you think about it, ‘Shatner’ is a pretty funny name)

60, but still 12!

More thoughts on being 60+:

• I say “I love you” more often
• I also say “f*k off” more often 😊
• I can remember going an entire day without taking a picture
• I can fall asleep in a chair at any time of the day just by sitting in it
• As for feeling old?? Carol Burnett is turning 90!

The Winnipeg Jets’ Morgan Barron took a skate to the face during the first period Tuesday night. The cut required 75 stitches. Barron was back on the bench to start the second period wearing a full face mask and continued to play. NHL Hockey!

The Milwaukee Bucks’ Giannis Antetokounmpo did not play Wednesday and is day-to-day with a sore back. NBA Basketball!

“I can drive!”, you’re doing it wrong – Christopher Faran Stanford, 50, pleaded guilty to felony DWI and chose to allow a jury of his Parker County, Texas, peers to decide his punishment. It was his ninth DWI charge. The jury handed a sentence of life in prison.

Good news: A first-grade female student in Tennessee has gone viral on TikTok after dressing as country music legend Dolly Parton. (Hey, I’m just glad to see a girl dressing up as her own gender!)

Trivia #1 answer: What color is Pantone 342? – It is a “brilliant rye green” or “dark shade of green-cyan or… the color of the Masters green jacket.
Trivia #2: Who is the only person to have played for the Boston Bruins, Boston Celtics and Boston Red Sox? – Organist John Kiley
Trivia #3: Who is the only goaltender to have his name appear on the Stanley Cup as the captain of the cup-winning team? – Jacques Plante, Charlie Gardiner, Patrick Roy, Terry Sawchuk, Kippy Manseau – Charlie Gardiner (Chicago Blackhawks, 1934)

The Institute of Unfinished Research has concluded that 6 out of 10 people

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Chocolate-Covered Cashews Day!

“I’d sell my soul for you babe
For money to burn with you
I’d give you all, and have none, babe
Just to, just to, just to, to have you here by me
Because

In the midnight hour she cried – “more, more, more”
With a rebel yell she cried – “more, more, more”

– Billy Idol

Briefly.

Did you realize that if you sit on the toilet at 11:59pm and the clock strikes midnight, it’s the same shit, different day?

Trivia #1: What does a lexicographer do?
Trivia #2: How many different options does Facebook have for gender? – 10, 20, 30, 40, 50
Trivia #3: Edmonton’s Connor McDavid finished this season with 153 points, the second most by a player not named Lemieux or Gretzky. What player, not named Lemieux or Gretzky, has the most points in a season (135)? – Bobby Orr, Phil Esposito, Bernie Nicholls, Steve Yzerman, Ivan Cournoyer, Jaromir Jagr
Trivia #4: Who is Aliyah Boston?

Remember, it’s what you do when no one’s watching.

On this day: April 14, 1828, Noah Webster submitted the copyright of the First American Dictionary for publication.
April 14, 1996, The Detroit Red Wings win an NHL record 62^nd game. (Ahhh, better check that…)

How fitting that the Bruins closed out the regular season with a win over Montreal. The Bruins closed the season at 65-12-5, the most wins in a season ever (65), the most points in a season ever (135). Now let’s go win the Cup!

Celebrating, you’re doing it wrong. Connecticut Sen. Richard Blumenthal underwent surgery on Sunday after fracturing his femur. Blumenthal fractured his femur during a mishap at the victory parade for the UConn Men’s Basketball team on Saturday. Apparently, someone was taking a video of the 77-year-old senator during the parade and fell on top of him which caused the injury.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: See trivia question #2.

After sweeping our pathetic Red Sox (there, I said it), the Tampa Bay Rays are one win away from setting the record for wins to start the season (14-0).

Article I’ll skip: Gisele Bundchen shares message about regrowth after a ‘storm’, months following divorce

John Elway is finally leaving football for good.

Hardcover or paperback? I’m not much of a reader but, when I do read a book, I have to admit I prefer the hardcover. Some books are only published as one or the other which I don’t get. It’s stuff like this that keeps me up at night.

They said it: “Not to sound dramatic but it is possible a listener saved my life by setting up that appointment.” – Longtime Boston sports talk radio host Fred Toucher after he revealed that he will be undergoing throat surgery. A listener heard his failing voice and put him in touch with a doctor he works with.

Good news: Lindos Sueños translates into English as “Beautiful Dreams”. The Lindos Sueños program strives to bring people of different backgrounds together through the common appeal of baseball and community service. Since 2004, sends 10 American teenage boys to the Dominican Republic every summer. Once the Americans arrive in the Dominican, they perform community service and play baseball alongside 10 teammates from the Dominican Republic. The 20 teens serve a community in-need each morning, and spend each afternoon playing baseball at the Boston Red Sox Dominican Academy.

Trivia #1 answer: What does a lexicographer do? – It is a person who compiles dictionaries
Trivia #2 answer: How many different options does Facebook have for gender? – 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 – There are 50 choices
Trivia #3 answer: Edmonton’s Connor McDavid finished this season with 153 points, the second most by a player not named Lemieux or Gretzky. What player, not named Lemieux or Gretzky, has the most points in a season (135)? – Bobby Orr, Phil Esposito, Bernie Nicholls, Steve Yzerman, Ivan Cournoyer, Jaromir Jagr – Steve Yzerman
Trivia #4 answer: Who is Aliyah Boston? – Former Worcester Academy graduate and South Carolina University player, the #1 pick in this past week’s WNBA draft.

You might as well go ahead and pronounce the “L” in “salmon.” Nothing matters anymore.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Ex-Spouse Day! – Is there really a thing?

“It’s a dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn’t understand
His son is working for the Daily Mail
It’s a steady job
But he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)”

– The Beatles

See what I did there?

---

 [EF1]

Briefly.

I’m not ashamed to admit, my knowledge of opera begins and ends with a handful of Bugs Bunny cartoons. “Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit, kill the waaaaabittttt…”

Trivia #1: Who is Rose Zhang?
Trivia #2: What players have won consecutive Masters tournaments?
Trivia #3: If Tiger Woods makes the cut this week, it will be his 23^rd consecutive Masters where he has made the cut. That will tie him what two players for the most consecutive Masters making the cut at 23?
Trivia #4: Where does “Amen Corner” begin and end, specifically.
Trivia #5: Who is the mascot for Quinnipiac University?
Trivia #6: Who is Shelley-Ann Fraser-Pryce?

Oh, what a nice shade of bitch you’re wearing today.

This weekend wraps up the greatest two weeks in sports where we had the NCAA Men’s basketball Final Four and Championship, the Frozen Four, MLB Opening Day(s), the Masters. Regular season NBA/NHL games filled any voids.

Speaking of the Frozen Four, it will be Minnesota vs. Quinnipiac tomorrow night.

On this day: April 7, 1963, Jack Nicklaus wins the first of his record 6 Green Jackets.
Also, on April 7, 1963, I was born.

That’s right, I’m 60 today. Thoughts come to mind:
– I made it!
– Next goal, 61
– Damn, I gotta pee again!
– What the heck is this on my leg/back/hand/face! It wasn’t there yesterday!
– Some people say they need to ‘get ready for bed.’ Heck, I’m always ready for bed!

Still, the grass is green, the steak is juicy and the beer is cold. LFG!

Go away: Gwyneth Paltrow
Go away #2: Phil Mickelson

The Boston Red Sox won their opening series against the Baltimore Orioles, barely. Last year, they didn’t win a series against an AL East opponent until August 12-14! By the looks of things, it may be that long before their next one.

Sledding, you’re doing it wrong. Two Illinois high school athletes were riding tandem down a halfpipe at the Copper Mountain Ski Resort when their sled toppled off a snowbank at the bottom. The two landed forcefully on the hard ice below, causing them to suffer blunt-force trauma and they later both died. Copper Mountain Ski Resort President and General Manager Dustin Lyman said the halfpipe where the accident happened was closed at the time of the incident.

I am really rooting against any LIV golfer to win the Masters.

Speaking of the Masters, the merchandise shop sells over 125 different styles of Masters and Augusta-branded hats. During the annual tournament, the shop reportedly earns $850,000… per hour!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Disgraced South Carolina attorney Alex Murdaugh has received a deluge of love letters and offers of friendship from smitten strangers as he languishes in prison for the murders of his wife and son.

Article I’ll skip: 5 ways tech can help you feel less alone.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The National Women’s Soccer League is expanding to Northern California.

I think I’ll have a beer or two today, but they won’t be Bud Lites.

Jim Nance, his last dance. As corny and dramatic as he is, I like the guy.

Good news: Kenny Johnson was a victim of gang violence at age 14. A few years later he was introduced to wheelchair basketball and is now a member of the Golden State Road Warriors. Kenny also works as an after-school teacher and with Art in his non-profit organization LGO (Life Goes on Foundation)

Trivia #1 answer: Who is Rose Zhang? – Along with Tiger Woods, Rose is the only golfer to win a U.S. Junior Am, U.S. Am, NCAA Individual and win at Augusta National
Trivia #2 answer: What players have won consecutive Masters tournaments? – Jack Nicklaus (’65 & ’66), Nick Faldo (’89 & ’90) and Tiger Woods (’01 & ’02)
Trivia #3 answer: If Tiger Woods makes the cut this week, it will be his 23^rd consecutive Masters where he has made the cut. That will tie him what two players for the most consecutive Masters making the cut at 23? – Gary Player and Fred Couples
Trivia #4 answer: Where does “Amen Corner” begin and end, specifically? – Amen Corner spans from the second shot at the 11th hole through the drive at 13.
Trivia #5 answer: Who is the mascot for Quinnipiac University? – Boomer the Bobcat
Trivia #6: Who is Shelley-Ann Fraser-Pryce? – Nicknamed “Pocket Rocket,” Fraser-Pryce has won more 100-meter dashes than any sprinter in racing history. She is the third-fastest to ever finish the 100-meter with 10.60 seconds as her personal best finish. 

90% of all electrical vehicles are still on the road today… The other 10% made it all the way home.

Life’s been good to me, so far.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Beer Day! – Ironically on my birthday!

It’s Good Friday, have a Great Friday!

“Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
Cause I’m in need of some restraint”

– The Rolling Stones

Briefly.

Most people are at the age where they are using their phones to document the good times in their lives. I am at the age where I use my phone to take pictures of labels that I can’t read and use my phone to enlarge the print so that I can read it.

Trivia #1: How many Opening Day victories does Red Sox manager Alex Cora have as a coach? – 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5
Trivia #2: In the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, which team wears white?
Trivia #3: What Massachusetts school was the only one to have a team in the D1 NCAA basketball tournament?
Trivia #4: What golfer appeared in a record 52 Masters tournament?
Trivia #5: From 1943-1945, the Masters was not played due to World War II. What was done on the grounds during that time to assist the war effort?
Trivia #6: (6??? Hey, I took last week off. I owe you!) – Who has the most career Opening Day homeruns? – Frank Robinson, Willie Stargell, Mark Maguire, Mickey Mantle, Stan Musial, Ken Griffey Jr., Willie Mays, Denny Doyle

Oh, what a nice shade of bitch you’re wearing today.

On this day: March 31, 1973, Boston Bruins defenseman Bobby Orr scores his 3^rd hattrick of the season to become the first player in NHL history to score 100 points in 4 straight seasons.
Also, in 1982, American rock group The Doobie Brothers split up.

So, let me get this straight, seeds #4, #5, #5, & #9 remain?? How’s your bracket? (I imagine some group out there would be offended by that question, eh?)

Jim Nance will call his last NCAA tournament after this weekend after 32 years. What a run!

So, let me get this straight. You blatantly punch another player in the face during the handshake line? It’s on film, ALL over social media. Then what do you do? Of course, you enter a plea of ‘not-guilty.’ Riiiiight.

Go away: You, just go away.

Let’s look into the Red Sox schedule a little, eh? At least teams in the same division only play each other 13 times instead of 19. The Sox longest homestand is 10 games and that is following immediately by a day off and then their longest road trip (10 games). No other homestand is longer than 7 games. They also have a 9-game road trip out to the west coast. They are scheduled for just 3 days off during a 41-day stretch the end of July ‘til the second week in September.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: This “week’s?” Not so much, but watch out for AI. Also, Tecia Torres is listed as a “famous” alum of Florida Atlantic University, one of the Final Four teams in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. She is a “ranked” MMA fighter.

By this time next week, The Masters will have begun.

Over 800 firearms have been intercepted at airport checkpoints so far this year. What are you thinking???

The Bruins have won NHL’s President’s Trophy which is for the most points in the regular season. What a season… so far…

Article I’ll skip: Where will Lamar wind up?

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Pamela Smart, the former high school employee convicted of plotting with her teen lover to kill her husband in 1990, had her attempt to have her life sentence reduced denied once again on Wednesday.

Trivia #1 answer: How many Opening Day victories does Red Sox manager Alex Cora have as a coach? – 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 – He has none
Trivia #2: In the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, which team wears white? – The lower seed. As well as being seeded within each region, all 64 teams are seeded 1-64.
Trivia #3: What school was the only one to have a team in the D1 NCAA basketball tournament? – The Holy Cross women’s basketball team
Trivia #4: What golfer appeared in a record 52 Masters tournament? – Gary Player
Trivia #5: From 1943-1945, the Masters was not played due to World War II. What was done on the grounds during that time to assist the war effort? – Cattle and turkeys were raised on the grounds.
Trivia #6: (6??? Hey, I took last week off. I owe you!) – Who has the most career Opening Day homeruns? – Frank Robinson, Willie Stargell, Mark Maguire, Mickey Mantle, Stan Musial, Ken Griffey Jr., Willie Mays, Denny Doyle – Trick question as Frank Robinson and Ken Griffey Jr. both had eight Opening Day dingers.

Give me tacos for the things I can change and tequila for those I can’t.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Après Day! – National Après Day is celebrated on March 31st each year to pay off the day’s adventures with a cocktail or a whiskey neat.  Breckenridge Distillery launched the holiday to remind people that you can après anything, letting your imagination be the only limit. (Hey, I’m here to educate)

“And though it’s a part of the Lone Star State
People don’t seem to care
They just keep on looking to the East

Talkin’ ‘bout the time at the China Grove
oh, China Grove”

– The Doobie Brothers

Briefly (very)

Today is a good day to leave me alone.

On vacation, folks. Hope to see you all next Friday.

https://youtu.be/JzYf6qskdfA

Have a righteous day!

Briefly.

The hour we lost last weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.

Trivia #1: Who was Maewyn Succat?
Trivia #2: In what year did the “Bloody Sunday” incident take place in Derry, Northern Ireland? – 1968, 1970, 1972, 1974, 1976
Trivia #3: According to Irish legend, St. Patrick used the three-leafed shamrock to illustrate what?
Trivia #4: What is the nickname of Grand Canyon University, the #14 seed in the west region of the men’s NCAA basketball tournament?

Dinosaurs had no beer. How did that work out?

On this day: March 17, 1756, St. Patrick’s Day is first celebrated in NYC at the Crown & Thistle Tavern
March 17, 1861, Italy is unified into a single kingdom under Victor Emmanuel II following the campaigns led by Giuseppe Garibaldi

Go away: Aaron Rodgers

Cheers!

Of course size matters. No one wants a small beer.

In case you missed it, USA finished as the Pool C runner-up in the World Baseball Classic and takes on Venezuela in tomorrow’s quarterfinal game. The winner takes on Cuba on Sunday.

As for all-world Japanese do-all Shohei Otani, he’s just batting .438 after 5 games with 7 hits, 8 walks, a homerun and 8 RBI. Oh, and he’s 2-0 on the mound with 10 K’s in 8 innings. He also hit 102 mph on the gun!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The three Massachusetts casinos licensed to accept sports betting roped in more than $25.7 million in bets during the full month of wagering on games. That number was dwarfed by the $98 million the three casinos took in on slots and gambling revenue during the month.

Article I’ll skip: Ex-NFL quarterback sparks debate on towel etiquette
And: WHO issues warning about latest deadly health concern

If you haven’t seen it yet, google the end of the Virginia/Furman game from yesterday. (As a public service, let me recommend google.com as the best site to google things on)

Class Act: New England Patriots’ safety Devin McCourty is retiring but first he signed a one-year contract extension that is saving his (former) team $5.035 million in cap space. McCourty later posted a “Thank You” to Patriots’ fans on 40 billboards throughout the greater Boston area. What a guy!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: After starting spring training 9-0-3, the Red Sox have gone 1-5-1

“Yeah, we won!”, you’re doing it wrong: The New York Mets will likely be without All-Star closer Edwin Diaz for the entire 2023 MLB season. On Thursday, GM Billy Eppler announced Díaz suffered a full-thickness tear of the patellar tendon in his right knee during Puerto Rico’s on-field celebration following their win over the Dominican Republic in Wednesday night’s win-or-go-home World Baseball Classic game. Díaz will have surgery Thursday and the recovery time is generally eight months. DOH!

Trivia #1 answer: Who was Maewyn Succat? – Later in life Maewyn Succat change his name to Patricius. He was St. Patrick
Trivia #2 answer: In what year did the “Bloody Sunday” incident take place in Derry, Northern Ireland? – 1968, 1970, 1972, 1974, 1976 – January 30, 1972
Trivia #3 answer: According to Irish legend, St. Patrick used the three-leafed shamrock to illustrate what? – The Holy Trinity (The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit)
Trivia #4 answer: What is the nickname of Grand Canyon University, the #14 seed in the west region of the men’s NCAA basketball tournament? – The Antelopes (“Lopes”)

A truck carrying Worcestershire sauce crashes. Dispatcher: “What’s the situation?” Deputy: “It’s hard to say…”

Let the madness begin!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy St. Patrick’s Day. “May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.”

“And the battle’s just begun
There’s many lost but tell me, who has won?
The trench is dug within our hearts
And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart

Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Sunday, Bloody Sunday”

– U2

Briefly.

I planned to work out and have a nice body for people to look at this summer, and then I remembered that I like food more than I like people.

Trivia #1: Who was the only U.S. President to apply for a patent? Bonus: For what was the patent for?
Trivia #2: What does PFP stand for with respect to baseball?
Trivia #3: Who is Michael James Gubitosi?

It’s a long way to the top (if you want to Rock ‘N Roll)

On this day: March 10, 1876: during the first ever telephone call, Alexander Graham Bell says “Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you” to his assistant Thomas Watson.
March 10, 2003: AC/DC is inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Go away: Kendrick Perkins

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: USA Powerlifting was ordered to allow transgender women to compete with biological females in the women’s division after losing a discrimination case. Powerlifting, man!

Marymount University’s board of trustees drove the final nail in the coffin for nine majors and one graduate program on Feb. 24, when it unanimously voted 20-0 in support of the plan to end the degrees. The plan will cut bachelor’s degrees in theology and religious studies, philosophy, mathematics, art, history, sociology, English, economics and secondary education, as well as a master’s program in English and humanities. Students are still required to study the subjects as part of the school’s core program but are no longer able to select such areas of study as majors. (What??)

The Merrimack College men’s basketball team won the regular-season Northeast Conference championship and then defeated Fairleigh Dickinson in the conference tournament. Next up? The offseason. Merrimack has fallen victim to the NCAA’s transition rule that has a four-year transition rule for team’s jumping from D2 to D1. My only guess is that this has something to do with a D2 school having a stud freshmen class and being forced to wait until that class has graduated?? All I know is that my alma mater got screwed as they sit and Fairleigh Dickinson advances.

Speaking of which, the Babson women’s basketball team advanced to the Sweet 16 of the Division 3 NCAA basketball tournament for the first time since 2017. Go Beavers!

To infinity… and beyond!

Communicating with the dead. You’re doing it wrong. Twenty-eight schoolgirls were hospitalized with anxiety attacks after allegedly playing with Ouija boards at the Galeras Educational Institution in Columbia. The girls reportedly suffered signs of fainting, anxiety and other symptoms.

Stop complaining. Nearly a quarter million Floridians are being warned to avoid washing their face with tap water after a man died from a brain-eating amoeba. The advice, which applies to the nearly 200,000 residents of Charlotte County, comes after a county resident died on February 20.

Article I’ll skip: 3 teams reportedly likely to pursue quarterback Jimmy Garappolo.

Apologizing, not enough: Mexican cartel ‘apologizes’ for kidnapping and brutal murders of Americans.

In shocking NHL news, the Bruins lost last night for the first time since February 11.

The Celtics have lost three in a row.

Good news: 98-year-old matriarch met with her great-great-great-granddaughter for the first time. The pair were joined by MaeDell Hawkins’ daughter, Frances Snow; her granddaughter, Gracie Snow Howell; her great-granddaughter Jacqueline Ledford; and her great-great-granddaughter Jaisline Wilson.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Red Sox remain undefeated. Now, everyone knows this is a useless record and many people remind me of that. But whoa, imagine if they were winless? Red Sox Nation would be in a tizzy.

Speaking of baseball, small sample size, I know. However, balls hit by left-handed batters to right field are hits as opposed to outs 15% more than last year. The shift is on gone.

R.I.P. Robert Perryman (58) – After graduating from the University of Michigan, Perryman played in the NFL for the Patriots, Cowboys and Broncos. After football, Perryman worked for the United Way, as a probation officer, and he coached youth, high school and college football teams.
R.I.P. Robert Blake (89) – Child actor in “The Little Rascals” and various others roles most notably “Baretta.” Before being acquitted for killing his wife, he was praised for his portrayal of real-life murderer Perry Smith in the movie of Truman Capote’s “In Cold Blood.” Go figure.

Trivia #1 answer: Who was the only U.S. President to apply for a patent? For what was the patent for? – In 1849, Abraham applied for a patent for a device to lift a boat over shoals and obstructions
Trivia #2 answer: What does PFP stand for with respect to baseball? – Pitchers’ fielding practice
Trivia #3 answer: Who is Michael James Gubitosi? – Robert Blake

The white snow is so beautiful. I love to watch it melt.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy International Bagpipes Day.

“Sounds of the drums
Beating in my heart
The thunder of guns
Tore me apart

You’ve been – thunderstruck”

– AC/DC

Briefly.

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in and snacks come out.

Trivia #1: What gas is “Tc” (atomic #43) on the Periodic Table
Trivia #2: What human made object was the first to break the sound barrier? – Whip, Car, Plane, Rocket, Nolan Ryan fastball
Trivia #3: What is the average salary of a Major League Baseball player? $1.4M, $2.9M, $3.0M, $4.2M, $5.7M, $6.2M
Trivia #4: Order the following in terms of cumulative weeks on the billboard 200 album chart: Legend (Bob Marley & The Wailers, 1984), The Dark Side of the Moon (Pink Floyd, 1973), Chronicle: The 20 Greatest Hits (Creedence Clearwater Revival, 1976), Metallica (“The Black Album”) – Metallica, 1991, Journey’s Greatest Hits (Journey, 1988)

No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

On this day: Congress authorizes a track width of 4’8 ½” for the Union Pacific Railroad. Also (close enough) Pink Floyd released its landmark progressive rock album, ”The Dark Side of the Moon” on March 1, 1973, 50-years ago.

Go away: Alex Murdaugh (apparently, 12 jurors think so too!)

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: University of Illinois guard Matthew Mayer said he had been suffering from a “hangover” the last few days – but not from alcohol. “I’ve been sick the last few days,” said Mayer. “I had caffeine poisoning. I had six Monsters the day of the game. I only had one before, but I had five after, because I had like a caffeine-induced euphoria to play video games. So, I could barely get out of bed the next day. It was basically like a caffeine hangover.” Kids today…

The Dallas Mavericks traded for Kyrie Irving and are now 2-4 when he and all-world Luka Doncic play together.

Scamming, you’re doing it right! The Boston Red Sox are selling SRO (Standing Room Only) tickets for $75 for ALL home games in April. That comes to roughly $5.35 per game. Come to our ballpark for the nominal fee, pay upwards of $60 to park, watch a game (while standing for 2 /1/2 – 4 hours), drink our $13 beers and pay exorbitant prices for all kinds of cuisine. Thanks for nothing!

The Celtics trail the Bucks for best record but the Bruins continue to be unbelievable! With their 7-1 buffaloing of the Sabres last night, they become the fastest NHL team ever to reach 100 points, doing so after just 61 games. Trades and the signing of David Pastrnak (goal, two assists last night) show that they’re going for it, now!

They said it: “I used to apologize for being on ‘Family Guy’ and I apologize no more because this world is a horrible native satire. Everybody takes themselves too seriously, and… I think in many ways become an overwhelming mess. But we need humor in our lives, and we need love and humor, acceptance. It’s all rather simple.” – Patrick Warburton, actor

To infinity… and beyond!

Stop complaining. Just stop.

In his first at-bat of 2023, San Diego’s Manny Machado was down 0-1 in the count before seeing a pitch, courtesy of the of the new pitch clock rule(s). Machado failed to bring his left foot into the batter’s box within the eight seconds he is allowed.

Filing a complaint, you’re doing it wrong. Belinda Miller, 50, was charged with criminal damage to property and aggravated assault after she drove her vehicle into a Popeyes restaurant on purpose after biscuits were mistakenly left out of her order.

An Italian soccer club received a delivery in the mail that included a severed pig’s head and a threatening letter. Sampdoria, a team in Italy’s Serie A, received the package that was delivered in a box to club headquarters this week from an unknown sender. In the box was the pig head and a note addressed to former club president Massimo Ferrero and current club vice president Antonio Rome. The note read, “the next heads will be yours,” according to a club spokesman.

Article I’ll skip: Everything to know about Meghan and Harry’s Frogmore Cottage eviction

Good news: It’s March, we’re almost there!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Pittsburgh University’s defensive tackle Calijah Kancey ran a 4.67-second 40-yard dash at the NFL combine, beating Aaron Donald’s record for defensive tackles by one-hundredth of a second.

Trivia #1 answer: What gas is “Tc” (atomic #43) on the Periodic Table – Technetium
Trivia #2 answer: What human made object was the first to break the sound barrier? – Whip, Car, Plane, Rocket, Nolan Ryan fastball – The whip
Trivia #3: What is the average salary of a Major League Baseball player? $1.4M, $2.9M, $3.0M, $4.2M, $5.7M, $6.2M – The league average is $4.2M, up 14.8% from 2022.
Trivia #4: Order the following in terms of cumulative weeks on the billboard 200 album chart: Legend (Bob Marley & The Wailers, 1984), The Dark Side of the Moon (Pink Floyd, 1973), Chronicle: The 20 Greatest Hits (Creedence Clearwater Revival, 1976), Metallica (“The Black Album”) – Metallica, 1991, Journey’s Greatest Hits (Journey, 1988) – In order: Pink Floyd (970 weeks), Bob Marley & The Wailers (769 weeks), Journey (748 weeks), Metallica (698 weeks), CCR (628 weeks)

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Day of Unplugging. (Well, so much for that!)

“Long you live and high you fly
Smiles you’ll give and tears you’ll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be”

– Pink Floyd

Briefly.

There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge with a note, “Don’t eat me!” Now there is an empty plate with a note, “Don’t tell me what to do!”

Trivia #1: Who is Mac McClung?
Trivia #2: What does BAFTA stand for?
Trivia #3: The Beatles “Help” was filmed where? – Los Angeles, Liverpool, New York, Bahamas, London
Trivia #4: Which of these teams did the legendary Herb Brooks not coach in the NHL? – New York Rangers, New Jersey Devils, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins
Trivia #5: Who won the 1993 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 1993)?

I get by with a little help from my friends.

On this day: February 24, 2022: Russian leader Vladimir Putin announces the start of a “special military operation” in Ukraine to “demilitarize” the country moments before Russia launches a full-scale pre-dawn invasion by land, air and sea, with bombings in several cities amid international condemnation
Also on this day, in 1965, the Beatles began filming “Help.”

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Parents at a Los Angeles area school district spoke out at a Tuesday school board meeting against the administration’s decision to eliminate honors classes in the name of racial-equity because they didn’t enroll enough Black and Latino students. Earlier this school year, the Culver City Unified School District (CCUSD) replaced honors classes at Culver City High School with a one-size-fits-all approach that officials said would give students of all races an equal education.

Go away: Vladimir Putin

The Celtics and Bruins both won last night. You guessed it, both still the best. The Bruins have the most wins and points through their first 57 of the season in NHL history.

Speaking of Celtics/Bruins, here’s just one difference between NBA players and NHL players. I watched two Celtics games earlier this year where Jaylen Brown was gunning for 40 points and Jason Tatum for 50. Both blowout games and both shooting away at the end. While on Monday afternoon, during David Krejci’s 1,000^th career game, David Pastrnak was trying to get Krejci the puck for an empty net goal while he himself had a chance for a hattrick and a tie for the league lead in goals scored.

Walking the dog, you’re doing it wrong. An 85-year-old Florida woman was killed Monday when an alligator attacked her as she was walking her dog.

Did you catch any XFL action?

They said it: “If you came here to have your morals or ethics or to become educated, you should know that, as a cohort, we’re some of the dumbest people on the planet. That’s why we’re comedians, OK? That’s why we’re not lawyers and doctors and we’re not scientists. We are all flawed in some way.” – Vinnie Brand, comedian and owner of Stress Factory Comedy Club

Stop complaining. While Turkey was still in the beginning stages of recovering from the 7.8 magnitude earthquake on Feb. 6, which left more than 45,000 people dead, a 6.4 magnitude earthquake ripped through southern Turkey on Monday.

Good news: Love letters from the World War II-era ( they were more than 80 years old) were found in the walls of a NY house that was being renovated. The letters were eventually returned to the author’s daughter.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Jason Tatum was named NBA All-Star game MVP after scoring 55 points.

Trivia #1 answer: Who is Mac McClung? – Mac McClung is the 6’2” point guard who won this year’s NBA dunk contest. McClung had just been called up from the G league.
Trivia #2 answer: BAFTA stand s for “British Academy of Film and Television Arts”
Trivia #3 answer: The Beatles “Help” was filmed where? – Los Angeles, Liverpool, New York, Bahamas, London – The Bahamas
Trivia #4 answer: Which of these teams did the legendary Herb Brooks not coach in the NHL? – New York Rangers, New Jersey Devils, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins – He never coached the Philadelphia Flyers
Trivia #5: Who won the 1993 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 1993)? – Montreal Canadiens (NHL), Chicago Bulls (NBA), Toronto Blue Jays (MLB), Dallas Cowboys (NFL)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Tortilla Chip Day!

You call it nagging, I call it “Listen to what I f*n said the first time!”

“(Now) And now my life has changed (My life has changed) in oh so many ways
(My independence) My independence seems to vanish in the haze
(But) But ev’ry now (Every now and then) and then I feel so insecure
(I know that I) I know that I just need you like I’ve never done before”

– The Beatles

Bonus song that I should have had last week.