Blog

Briefly.

I tripped over a box of Kleenex the other night. I thought I was really hurt but it turns out that it was just tissue damage.

Trivia #1: Derrick Henry became the fourth player in NFL history to have 1,000-plus rushing yards and 10-plus rushing touchdowns in at least seven seasons. Pick the other three. – LaDainian Tomlinson, Walter Payton, Emmitt Smith, Adrian Peterson, Tony Dorsett, Eric Dickerson, Edgerrin James
Trivia #2: The soft drink Dr. Pepper has how many flavors? – 1, 4, 9, 12, 18, 23, 30

Keep your expectations low and they’re easier to meet.

On this date: December 12, 627, Battle of Nineveh: Byzantine Emperor Heraclius defeats Sassanid forces during the Byzantine-Sassanid War
December 12, 1858, 1st Canadian coins circulated (1 cent, 5 cent, 10 cent & 20 cent)
December 12, 1901, Guglielmo Marconi receives the first wireless signal, the Morse code letter “S,” from England at a receiver on Signal Hill in Newfoundland
December 12, 1930, Baseball Rules Committee greatly revises the rule book; a ball bouncing into the stands is now a ground-rule double, not a home run
December 12, 1968, Rolling Stones film TV show “Rock and Roll Circus”- guest performers include The Who, Jethro Tull, Taj Mahal, Marianne Faithfull, and John Lennon and Yoko Ono; the program never airs
December 12, 1980, Apple makes its initial public offering on the US stock market; 38 years later, it becomes the first US company valued at over $1 trillion, first over $2 trillion two years after that, and first over $3 trillion three years after that
December 12, 1997, Red Sox sign Pedro Martinez to record 6 year $69 million contract. (How’d that work out?!)
December 12, 2024, Six-time Super Bowl winning coach Bill Belichick is introduced as next head coach at the University of North Carolina. (How’s that working out?)

Last season, Detroit’s James Wood led the National League by striking out 221 times and Washington’s Riley Greene led the AL with 201. During the entire decade of the 1990’s, San Diego’s Tony Gwynn struck out 188 times.

Stop complaining… Super Bowl champion running back Kevin Faulk suffered a tragic death in his family for the second time. The former New England Patriots and LSU star’s 30-year-old daughter, Tanasha Faulk, has died. She is the second daughter of the former football player who has died. Kevione Faulk died in 2021 at the age of 19. Sad.

Go away (again!): The NBA Cup (A useless ploy to attempt to get more viewers)

Don’t be that guy. Don’t order red wine in an Irish pub.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Seattle Seahawks’ kick returner Rashid Shaheed covered 121.81 yards of total distance on his 100-yard kickoff-return touchdown on Sunday, hitting a max speed of 20.80 mph.

Article I’ll skip: Food and drinks that you should skip when you’re sick, according to doctors.

Lesser-known Knights of the Round Table. The knight no one believed – Sir Real

Playing pickleball, you’re doing it wrong. CCTV footage (in Malaysia) shows a 32-year-old player leaping over a safety rail at a Kuala Lumpur pickleball facility to retrieve a ball. The video then shows him jumping onto mesh netting that covered an open gap, but it tore under his weight and he plunged three stories to his death.

Your Boston Bruins have won 6 of 7 and are tied for the top spot in the Atlantic Division, while your Boston Celtics have won 5 of 6 and are tied for 3^rd in the Eastern Conference. And let’s not even mention the storming Patriots who have a humungous game on Sunday against the Bills.

Good news: Legislation was introduced last week to require airlines to provide passengers with cash compensation and free rebooking for hours long flight delays. Under the bill, dubbed the Flight Delay and Cancellation Compensation Act, airlines would need to pay passengers $300 if their flight is delayed by more than three hours and $600 if their flight is delayed by at least six hours.

Incorrectly is the only word, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Trivia #1 answer: Derrick Henry became the fourth player in NFL history to have 1,000-plus rushing yards and 10-plus rushing touchdowns in at least seven seasons. Pick the other three. – LaDainian Tomlinson, Walter Payton, Emmitt Smith, Adrian Peterson, Tony Dorsett, Eric Dickerson, Edgerrin James – LaDainian Tomlinson (8), Emmitt Smith (7) and Adrian Peterson (7)
Trivia #2: The soft drink Dr. Pepper has how many flavors? – 1, 4, 9, 12, 18, 23, 30 – There are 23 flavors

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Ding-a-Ling Day!

Come on down this afternoon and let me pour a drink or open a beer for you. It would be my pleasure. If you can’t make it, tomorrow morning I’ll be ringing the bell next to the Salvation Army bucket in front of Market Basket in Riverside Plaza. Come on by and say “hello” and make a donation… you cheap prick.

Life’s too short to be miserable.

“I get off on ’57 Chevys
I get off on screaming guitar
Like the way it gets me every time it hits me
I’ve got a rock and roll, I’ve got a rock and roll heart”

Eric Clapton (I’ve Got a Rock ‘N’ Roll Heart)

Bonus! Come on now, get in the spirit!

Briefly.

I accidently drank a bottle of invisible ink last night. Now I’m at the hospital… waiting to be seen.

Trivia #1: What was the first college football team to use numerals on their uniforms (1908)? – University of Pennsylvania, University of Pittsburgh, Notre Dame, Harvard, Yale, University of Chicago
Trivia #2: Who became the first former major league player to commit full-time to Banan Ball? – Jackie Bradley Jr., Johnny Damon, Kevn Pillar, Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Matt Carpenter, Daniel Bard

So, you knew last Friday was Black Friday. Did you know it was also Brown Friday? The busiest day for plumbers in terms of emergency calls. Last year, emergency calls to plumbers were up 27%. We won’t get into the reasons…

On this date: December 5, 63 BC, Roman consul Cicero delivers the last of his famous Catiline Orations before the Senate on the fate of the Cataline conspirators
December 5, 1349, 500 Jews of the Free Imperial City of Nuremberg are massacred during Black Death riots, part of a wave of pogroms across Western Europe
December 5, 1792, George Washington re-elected as US President
December 5, 1848, US President James K. Polk triggers the Gold Rush of 1849 by confirming a gold discovery in California
December 5, 1933, Prohibition ends in the US at 5:32 PM EST when the 21st Amendment to the US Constitution is ratified, repealing the 18th Amendment
December 5, 1971, Ian Drury performs his first gig with Kilburn and the High Roads at Croydon School of Art
December 5, 1974, Final episode of Monty Python’s Flying Circus airs on BBC TV
December 5, 2008, Former NFL star OJ Simpson is sentenced to 33 years in prison for kidnapping and armed robbery
December 5, 2024, Mathematicians solve a 122-year-old puzzle known as “Dudeney’s dissection” on how to dissect an equilateral triangle into a square using the smallest number of pieces

Who doesn’t root for Peyton Pritchard?

Stop complaining… Unless you have tickets to an NFL game at the end of this season. 5 of the 32 games in week #17 have not yet been scheduled for either the specific day or time, and zero of the games for week #18 have been scheduled. Pack your bags? Not yet!

Don’t be that guy. Clear the snow off your vehicle. Not half-assed, clear it off!

Article I’ll skip: Could Schwarber go to another NL East team?

A mysterious vomiting disorder tied to long-term marijuana use is now formally recognized by global health officials, a move experts say could help save lives as cases surge nationwide. The World Health Organization (WHO) has formally added cannabis hyperemesis syndrome (CHS) to its diagnostic manual, giving the mysterious disorder a dedicated code for the first time. CHS is a dangerous and sometimes deadly syndrome that affects chronic cannabis users, causing severe nausea, repeated vomiting, abdominal pain, dehydration, weight loss and, in rare cases, heart rhythm problems, seizures, kidney failure and death. 

Lesser-known Knights of the Round Table. The undercover knight: Sir Veillance

Good news: None. It’s f’n cold out!

The Patriots have recorded 10 straight games with 23 or more points scored and 23 or fewer points allowed, the longest such streak in NFL history. The previous two teams to achieve such a streak for eight or more games went on to win the Super Bowl (1984 San Francisco 49ers) or an AFL/NFL Championship (1961 Houston Oilers). Just sayin’.

A contest was held to choose the best neckwear. It was a tie.

Trivia #1 answer: What was the first college football team to use numerals on their uniforms (1908)? – University of Pennsylvania, University of Pittsburgh, Notre Dame, Harvard, Yale, University of Chicago – The University of Pittsburgh
Trivia #2 answer: Who became the first former major league baseball player to commit full-time to Banana Ball? – Jackie Bradley Jr., Johnny Damon, Kevn Pillar, Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Matt Carpenter, Daniel Bard – Jackie Bradley Jr. (The evolution of Banana Ball has been rapid since 2022 and is only growing, with the Banana Ball Championship League set to play in front of 3.2 million fans next year)

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Bartender Day! (No, I am not serving today, but next Friday.)

Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience, worst days give you lessons and the best days give you memories.

There is a ghost in your home and it loves you. It gazes longingly from the doorway, yearning to know what you’re thinking. When walk through it, the ghost tastes your freshest thoughts. This is why you don’t remember why you walked into the kitchen.

Are you living or are you just alive?

“In the deserts of Sudan
And the gardens of Japan
From Milan to Yucatán
Every woman, every man

Hit me with your rhythm stick
Hit me! Hit me!”

Ian Dury (Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick)

Bonus!

Jimmy Cliff died several days ago. For him…

Briefly. I really tried…

Do you know what was more useful than the first telephone? The second telephone.

Trivia #1: The New England Patriots now have 20, 10+ wins in a season since 2000. What team has the second most (16) since during that period?
Trivia #2: What country was the first to grant women the right to vote (in 1893)? – Austria, Denmark, Latvia, Norway, Poland, Slovakia, New Zealand
Trivia #3: Jaxon Smith-Njigba (Seattle Seahawks) now has 1,313 receiving yards on the year, putting him on pace to top the NFL’s single-season record of 1,964. Who holds that record?

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving yesterday! You know, you really can’t beat a good drumstick. (See what I did there?) Seriously, drumsticks are the best. I just rip it off the turkey, start chomping on it and hold it up while I walk around the kitchen like a Viking.

On this date: November 28, 587, The Treaty of Andelot: signed between Queen Brunhilda of Austrasia and King Guntram of Burgundy; King Guntram names his cousin Childebert II as heirNovember 28, 1520, Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan begins crossing the Pacific Ocean
November 28, 1720, Anne Bonny and Mary Read are tried, found guilty of pirating, and sentenced to death in Spanish Town, Jamaica, although their discovered pregnancies win them stays of execution
November 28, 1932, Groucho Marx performs on the radio for the first time
November 28, 1958, Legendary cricket fast bowler Wes Hall makes his Test debut for West Indies v India in 1st Test at Bombay; Hall’s match figures 4/107 – Huh?
November 28, 1974, Baseball Commissioner Bowie Kuhn suspends New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner for two years due to his federal conviction for illegal contributions to political campaigns – Yankees suck!
November 28, 1978, Atlantic Records releases “Briefcase Full of Blues,” the debut album by The Blues Brothers (Dan Akroyd and John Belushi); the album tops the chart and becomes the best-selling blues record of all time

“I just found out that my father was a mime.”
“You just found out??”
“Ya, he never spoke about it.”

Stop complaining… unless you’re traveling today. A large winter storm that could bring some of the biggest snow of the season to the Central U.S.. and Rockies is expected to significantly impact travel plans for millions of people across 40 states returning home from their Thanksgiving holiday starting on Black Friday.

Don’t be that guy. Pass the goddamn gravy!

Article I’ll skip: Wisconsin lake reveals ancient vessels that predate Egyptian pyramids

Making money, you’re doing it wrong. San Francisco 49ers’ Brandon Aiyuk has been out all season with a knee injury he sustained during the 2024 campaign and was expected to return at some point in 2025. Apparently, the situation has become so strained that San Francisco has voided the guaranteed money in his contract for 2026, a $24.935 million option bonus. Aiyuk reportedly “failed to attend meetings and declined to participate in other team activities in recent months,” which led to frustration within the organization.

Good news: The are a ton of leftovers in our refrigerator!

A king and a queen walk into a bar. The bartender says; “I can’t serve you. You’re not 21.”

Trivia #1 answer: The New England Patriots now have 20, 10+ wins in a season since 2000. What team has the second most (16) since during that period? – The Green Bay Packers
Trivia #2 answer: What country was the first to grant women the right to vote (in 1893)? – Austria, Denmark, Latvia, Norway, Poland, Slovakia, New Zealand – New Zealand
Trivia #3 answer: Jaxon Smith-Njigba (Seattle Seahawks) now has 1,313 receiving yards on the year, putting him on pace to top the NFL’s single-season record of 1,964. Who holds that record? – Calvin Johnson

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National French Toast Day!

Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience, worst days give you lessons and the best days give you memories.

I got fired from my job as a masseuse. Apparently, I rub people the wrong way.

Are you living or are you just alive?

Come on downtown this afternoon, I’d love to serve you. Bruins at 1pm, Bears/Eagles at 3pm. What an afternoon!

“Welcome to the Grand illusion
Come on in and see what’s happening
Pay the price, get your tickets for the show
The stage is set, the band starts playing
Suddenly your heart is pounding
Wishing secretly you were a star.”

Styx (Grand Illusion)

Bonus!

Briefly.

I lost three fingers on my left hand and asked the doctor if I’d still be able to write. He said; “Maybe, but I wouldn’t count on it.”

Trivia #1: Who was the NFL Offensive Player of the Year in 1975?
Trivia #2: Who won the 2022 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 2022)
Trivia #3: What is Ds on the Periodic Table of Elements?

On this date: November 21, 164 BC – Judas Maccabeus recaptures Jerusalem and rededicates the Second Temple during the Maccabean Revolt, commemorated since as the Jewish festival of Hanukkah
November 21, 1787, Future US president Andrew Jackson admitted to the bar aged 20
November 21, 1902, 1st night football game, Philadelphia Athletics beats Kanaweola AC, 39-0 
November 21, 1905, Physics journal Annalen der Physik publishes Albert Einstein”s paper “Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?” His general theory of relativity introduces the equation E = mc²
November 21, 1931, Horror film “Frankenstein” is released, starring Boris Karloff as the monster, directed by James Whale and based on Mary Shelley’s 1818 novel “Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus”
November 21, 1949, Bill Veeck sells MLB Cleveland Indians for $22 million, to fund his divorce settlement
November 21, 1976, Sports action film “Rocky,” directed by John G. Avildsen and starring Sylvester Stallone, premieres in New York (Best Picture 1977)
November 21, 2013, “Happy” single is released by Pharrell Williams (Billboard Song of the Year 2014, Grammy Award for Best Pop Solo Performance 2015)

I heard my first Christmas tune of the season last Friday, in a CVS pharmacy, 41 days before Christmas.

Go away: Kevin Spacey (again)

The baseball season is over but one more shout out to Shohei Ohtani. The two-way Ohtani was a unanimous winner for his third straight MVP (two straight in the NL) and fourth in the last five years. No other player in history has been voted MVP unanimously multiple times; Ohtani has been unanimous every time.

Article I’ll skip: NASA’s Perseverance rover discovers shiny object scientists say isn’t native to Mars

Parenting, you’re doing it wrong. A California mother and father were convicted on Tuesday of stabbing and decapitating their 13-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son, then forcing their two younger children to look at the bodies.

The wealthy oceanfront town of Carmel, California, has banned pickleball in its public park after residents complained that the constant sound of paddles striking balls was too noisy. The Carmel City Council voted earlier this month to permanently prohibit the sport at Forest Hill Park, the only public pickleball location within city limits, marking the first such ban in the state.

Good news: Hooters is making a comeback, and its new owners are updating its menu and changing the image that once defined the restaurant chain. Original Hooters LLC, the founders and original investors behind the very first Hooters restaurant, acquired Hooters of America during its bankruptcy restructuring earlier this year. The group now plans to return the chain “to its roots as a local beach-themed hangout.” 

Jeez, Ed, grow up.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Jordyn Brooks led the Dolphins with 20 tackles in their win over the Commanders making him the first Miami player with at least two games of 16-plus tackles since Hall of Famer Zach Thomas in 2006.

If you boil a funny bone, if becomes a laughing stock. That’s humerus.

Trivia #1 answer: Who was the NFL Offensive Player of the Year in 1975? – Fran Tarkenton (Minnesota Vikings)
Trivia #2 answer: Who won the 2022 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 2022) – Colorado Avalanche (NHL), Golden State Warriors (NBA), Houston Astros (MLB), Los Angeles Rams (NFL)
Trivia #3 answer: What is Ds on the Periodic Table of Elements? – Darmstadtium (named after Darmstadt, Germany, where the element was first produced.)

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Gingerbread Cookie Day!

Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience, worst days give you lessons and the best days give you memories.

I met a girl who runs a battery kiosk in a local park. So basically, she sells C cells by the seesaw.

“It might seem crazy what I’m about to say
Sunshine she’s here, you can take a break
I’m a hot air balloon that could go to space
With the air, like I don’t care, baby, by the way”

Pharrell Williams (Happy)

RISE AND SHINE MY FRAGILE FRIENDS! WHAT SILLY NONSENSE ARE WE OFFENDED BY TODAY?

When I get bored, I call Best Western Hotels and when they answer; “Best Western,” I say “High Noon with Gary Cooper” and hang up.

Trivia #1: Where is the main campus of Mercer University and what is the school’s nickname?
Trivia #2: Since 1940, which MLB pitcher had the lowest ERA in a season (1.123) with 200+ innings pitched? – Bob Gibson, Greg Maddux, Leroy Matlock, Max Manning, Luis Tiant, Satchel Paige, Ric Accardi

On this date: November 14, 1666, English writer Samuel Pepys writes the first report of a blood transfusion (between dogs) in his diary
November 14, 1732, First professional librarian in north America, Louis Timothee, hired in Philadelphia
November 14, 1834, William Thomson, later scientist Lord Kelvin, enters Glasgow University at just 10 yrs 4 months
November 14, 1856, American Gail Borden is issued a patent for technology related to his invention of condensed milk
November 14, 1922,  BBC begins daily radio broadcasts from the 2LO transmitter at Marconi House
November 14, 1965, US government sends 90,000 soldiers to Vietnam
November 14, 1993, Puerto Rico votes against becoming the 51st US state
November 14, 2018, Astronomers announce the discovery of a Super-Earth planet (3.2 times bigger than Earth) orbiting the red dwarf Barnard’s Star, 6 light-years away – I’m sure…
November 14, 2022. Earliest evidence of fire used to cook by humans found in study of fish remains 780,000 years ago at Gesher Benot Ya’aqov in northern Israel

Monday marked the 50^th anniversary of the sinking of the SS Edmond Fitzgerald. a tragedy on Lake Superior that claimed the lives of 29 men. In the days following the calamity, songwriter Gordon Lightfoot read about it in Newsweek and immediately put his God-given gifts to their highest and best use. Once the Edmund Fitzgerald’s sinking was confirmed, the rector at Mariner’s Church in Detroit rang its bell 29 times to honor the life of each member of her crew. Of this mournful and lonely labor, Lightfoot elegiacally sang “the church bell chimed ‘till it rang 29 times” in his ballad. This lyrical salute was not forgotten by the stalwart Anglican congregation. Every anniversary, Mariners’ Church rings its bell 29 as a memorial to the crew. After Lightfoot’s death in May 2023, the bell was rung a 30th time, the last peal to honor the songwriter who used his gifts to ensure their fathers, sons, brothers and husbands would never be forgotten.

I’m very much a traditionist, however… The New England Patriots debuted their “Nor’easter” uniforms last night as part of the NFL’s “Rivalries” program for their game against the New York Jets. The Patriots wore “Storm Blue” color jerseys with white helmets and pants. There were six stars on the uniform to signify six New England states and a unique “NE” logo on the shoulder of the uniform, featuring nautical lettering and compass points. The uniform had features a fan wouldn’t be able to see by the naked eye. There was a hidden message inside the collar. On red fabric, the words “We Are All Patriots” were stitched into white lettering. Now that’s pretty cool!

And… the Pats won their 8^th straight!

Article I’ll skip: Travis Kelce’s ex expresses remorse as offensive tweets resurface

Record! Notre Dame junior guard Hannah Hildago turned in an epic performance with an NCAA-record 16 steals, in 28 minutes, and a school-record 44 points in the No. 18 Fighting Irish’s 85-58 victory on Wednesday night.

Good news: An experimental drug has shown promise in fighting a hard-to-treat form of bladder cancer known as BCG-unresponsive high-risk non-muscle-invasive bladder cancer (NMIBC). BCG (Bacillus Calmette-Guérin) is an immunotherapy drug that is often the first-line treatment for certain early-stage bladder cancers. The new drug, TAR-200 — which was evaluated in a trial sponsored and conducted by Janssen Research & Development, LLC, a subsidiary of Johnson & Johnson — may offer a less invasive alternative to bladder removal surgery.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Last Sunday the New England Patriots scored three scrimmage touchdowns that each reached a speed of at least 20 mph, a feat that is tied for the most in a single game by any NFL team since Next Gen Stats began tracking in 2016. 

What a couple of prime-time duds came out of the NFL last weekend. First, the Broncos beat the Raiders 10-7 on Thursday night, then the Eagles beat the Packers 10-7 on Monday night. Gross.

Speaking of the Thursday night game, only two times in the past 40 years has an NFL team had a game with: 10+ penalties, more penalties than points, more penalties than 1^st downs, an entire quarter without a 1^st down, under 100 rushing yards, under 150 net passing yards and a missed field goal. Both happened last Thursday night!!!

NASA is launching a satellite to say “sorry” to the aliens. They’re calling it Apollo G.

Trivia #1 answer: Where is the main campus of Mercer University and what is the school’s nickname? – It is located in Macon, GA – The Macon Bears
Trivia #2 answer: Since 1940, which MLB pitcher had the lowest ERA in a season (1.123) with 200+ innings pitched? – Bob Gibson, Greg Maddux, Leroy Matlock, Max Manning, Luis Tiant, Satchel Paige, Ric Accardi – Bob Gibson (1968)

R.I.P. Natalie Jean Moses (58) – A beautiful person who simply left us too early.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Seat Belt Day!

Adulthood hits hardest when a smell, a song, or a sunset takes you back to what’s gone.

Someone asked me to name two structures that hold water. I was like well, dam!

If you were subscribed here back in May, 2023, and paying attention, you’d recall this song first appearing in this post, just after ‘Old Gordo’ passed at the age of 84.

“In a rustic old hall in Detroit they prayed
In the Maritime Sailors’ Cathedral
The church bell chimed ’til it rang twenty-nine times
For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
Superior, they said, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early”

Gordon Lightfoot (The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald)

Briefly.

Some people think they are champagne in a glass, when in actual fact they are luke warm piss in a plastic cup.

Trivia #1: Who was Gutzon Borglum?
Trivia #2: Cheez-Its were invented in what year? – 1918, 1921, 1925, 1930, 1932, 1941
Trivia #3: I was talking about this on Monday so this is a layup for several of you. What is a Sports Equinox?
Trivia #4: Sandy Koufax is one of just two pitchers in MLB history to win multiple World Series championships, two Cy Young Awards, throw multiple no-hitters and be elected to multiple All-Star games. Who is the other?

On this date: October 31, 1541, Michelangelo finishes painting “The Last Judgment” on the altar wall of the Sistine Chape in Vatican City
October 31, 1799, Francisco Goya is appointed first court painter at the Spanish court in Madrid, the highest honor for a Spanish painter
October 31, 1868, Standard uniform approved for US postal carriers
October 31, 1918, The Spanish flu kills 21,000 people in the US in a single week
October 31, 1923, 160 consecutive days of 100 degrees F begin at Marble Bar, Australia
October 31, 1941, Mount Rushmore Monument is completed in South Dakota, designed by Gutzon Borglum
October 31, 1970, Jim Morrison is sentenced to six months in jail and a $500 fine for indecent exposure and open profanity, though remains free on a $50,000 bond pending appeal
October 31, 1981, “The War of the Worlds,” the first live American radio drama in 25 years, is broadcast on NBC on Halloween
October 31, 1988, First Monday Night NFL game played in Indianapolis; Colts beat Denver Broncos, 55-23
October 31, 1992, Roman Catholic church apologizes for its treatment of Italian astronomer Galileo Galilei after 359 years, acknowledging he had been right about the Earth revolving around the Sun
October 31, 2017, A judge on Maui, Hawaii, orders a man to write 144 compliments to his ex-girlfriend after violating a protection order by sending her 144 malicious text messages and calls – Really!
October 31, 2022, Taylor Swift becomes the first artist in history to claim all top 10 slots on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart with 10 tracks from her album “Midnights” – Swifty!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Opportunity, and I don’t knock twice!

Great World Series so far. Records galore are being broken. And not for nothing, but Dodgers Stadium is gorgeous.

In the 8^th inning Tuesday night, the camera panned over Dodger Stadium and showed 6, I assume “celebrities.” I recognized two of them. I’m getting older I guess…

Go away: Jason Kelce

Article I’ll skip: Jasn Kelce criticizes NFL fines for players who speak out on officiating decisions. (Who listens to this buffoon?)

Good news: The U.S. has only “scratched the surface” of its oil potential, with new technologies and untapped resources emerging that could help cement America’s energy dominance for years to come.

Not good news: The death toll in the wake of Hurricane Melissa continues to rise after the catastrophic and historic hurricane tore paths of destruction across the Caribbean, making destructive landfalls in both Jamaica and Cuba over the past few days. Communications remain unreliable across many areas after the storm damaged critical infrastructure, but reports of fatalities are starting to climb.

DYK, other than the one-point game between the Jets and Bengals (39-38) last week, all 12 other NFL games were decided by 10 or more points!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: See the answer to trivia question #2.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli doesn’t have a last name, you big silly!

Chris Berman is still The Man!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A massive online leak has exposed more than 183 million stolen email passwords gathered from years of malware infections, phishing campaigns and older data breaches. Cybersecurity experts say it is one of the largest compilations of stolen credentials ever discovered.

I just bought a sweet car online. It was previously owned by Neil Diamond.

Trivia #1 answer: Who was Gutzon Borglum? – See “On this date” above.
Trivia #2 answer: Cheez-Its were invented in what year? – 1918, 1921, 1925, 1930, 1932, 1941 – Initially marketed as “baked rarebit”, the Green & Green Company filed for the Cheez-It logo with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office on May 23, 1921.
Trivia #3 answer: I was talking about this on Monday so this is a layup for several of you. What is a Sports Equinox? – It is a day when all four major sports leagues (NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL) all hold games on the same day. There have only been 32 such days in history with the first occurring in 1971. This past Monday was one such day.
Trivia #4: Sandy Koufax is one of just two pitchers in MLB history to win multiple World Series championships, two Cy Young Awards, throw multiple no-hitters and be elected to multiple All-Star games. Who is the other? – The Giants’ Tim Lincecum

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Will you remember me in a minute?
Yes.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
You forgot me already!?

Happy National Knock Knock Joke Day! (See what I did there?)
And a big “Happy Birthday” to my mother!

Not everyone gets a chance to grow old, so appreciate every single day of your life.

Come on downtown this afternoon. It would be my privilege to serve you a beverage.

“Where it began
I can’t begin to knowin’
But then I know it’s growin’ strong

Was in the spring
And spring became the summer
Who’d have believed you’d come along”

Neil Diamond (Sweet Caroline)

Bonus!

Briefly. (It didn’t turn out that way…)

“How to Remove Leaves from Your Lawn” – By Ray King

Trivia #1: What was the 1st European country to require an emergency loan as a result of the financial crisis? The country received a £1.3 billion bailout package from the International Monetary Fund (IMF) in 2008. – Greece, Belarus, Serbia, Iceland, Estonia, Moldova
Trivia #2: Highest career batting average as a member of the Red Sox. Put the top 6 in order of highest to lowest – Nomar Garciaparra, Ted Williams, Jimmie Foxx, Wade Boggs, Pete Runnels, Tris Speaker
Trivia #3: The medical condition “Ageusia” is the complete loss of what?
Trivia #4: Tom Brady threw touchdown passes to 98 different players. What quarterback is #2 all-time with touchdown passes to 73 different players? – Drew Brees, Steve DeBerg, Vinny Testaverde, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Drake Maye, Paul Fenlon
Trivia #5: The Atlanta Falcons’ left tackle Jake Matthews has only missed one game in his 12-year career. How many times in his career has he appeared on an injury report prior to a game? – 1, 3, 7, 11, ,14, 17, 21

On this date: October 24, 79, Mt. Vesuvius erupts, burying the cities of Pompeii, Herculaneum, Oplontis and Stabiae and killing thousands.
October 24, 1601, Johannes Kepler succeeds Tycho Brahe as imperial mathematician to Holy Roman Emperor Rudolph II
October 24, 1861, West Virginia secedes from Virginia
October 24, 1908, Edward Meeker hits the charts with “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”; songwriters Edward Albert Von Tilzer and Jack Norworth had yet to attend a baseball game, the 1st recording is often misattributed to singer Billy Murray
October 24, 1929, “Black Thursday”, start of stock market crash of 1929, Dow Jones Industrial Average drops 12.8%
October 24, 1946, A camera on board the V-2 No. 13 rocket launched from White Sands, USA, takes the first photograph of Earth from outer space
October 24, 2018, Scientists confirm East Island in Hawaii, half a mile long, has been wiped out after contact with Hurricane Walaka

Do you know what’s cool? When you block a phone number on your phone and later get a message saying that the number was calling you and has actually been blocked. That’s awesome!

Go away: All those involved in the recently exposed gambling/betting scandal. Now, all of those people who once said; “sports are fixed!” can now say; “I told you so!” You think about “everything” you can bet on nowadays and I think this is jut the tip of the iceberg.

Article I’ll skip: Japan’s Kit Kat craze produced more than 200 flavors – many limited-time.

Good news: High school athletes in Massachusetts would be required to undergo cardiac tests to screen for heart conditions under a new proposal on Beacon Hill that would mandate that health insurers foot the bill for the examinations. The legislation would require public school students in grades 9-12 to complete an electrocardiogram as part of their sports physical at the beginning of the 2026-27 school year. The proposal, dubbed “Freddy’s Law,” was named after Freddy Espinal, a 17-year-old Peabody Veterans Memorial High School junior who died in September 2024 from sudden cardiac arrest during wrestling practice. Great proposal, says I.

I’ve often heard that “icy” is the easiest word to spell. Looking at it now, I see why.

Last Saturday I was watching Washington St vs. Virginia football and a commercial came on for “Marco’s Pizza.” Not Papa John, not Little Caeser’s, not Pizza Hut, not Domino’s. Who the hell is Marco?

They said it: “A win over Philadelphia would be great.” – Boston Celtics President of Basketball Operations, Brad Stevens before Wednesday night’s season opener vs the Sixers, when asked what he wanted for a birthday present. Sorry Brad. I’m not sure about the Celtics. They should have won that game.

Those who know the game of hockey are already hating on the Bruins. It may be a long winter for Bruins and Celtics’ fans.

Speaking of the Bruins… Can anyone figure out the New York Football Giants? Three weeks ago, they committed 5 turnovers and lost to the now 1-6 Saints. Two weeks ago, they toppled last year’s Super Bowl champs, the Eagles, 34-17 and last Sunday, they blew a 32-point lead in losing to the Broncos. In that game, the Jints led 32-0 after three quarters only to blow the lead and the game. Going into that game, NFL teams that led by 18 or more points with 6 or fewer minutes remaining were 1,601-0! Not anymore…

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: One day, we might see glowing cities of glass scattered across the Moon’s surface, shining softly under Earth’s light. NASA is teaming up with Skyeports, a California-based company, to explore how lunar dust could be turned into massive glass spheres strong enough to live in. These futuristic, transparent habitats could become the first real homes for astronauts on the Moon.

The five second rule doesn’t work if you have a two second dog.

I am really torn in regards to this World Series. I can’t root for either team. Oh well, I guess I’ll just root for Shohei Ohtani to continue to do the ridiculous. For those of you not in the know, in his last game, he pitched 6 innings, struck out 10 batters and hit three homeruns himself. Machine-like.

Don’t be that guy. Don’t fire up a power tool before 7:00A.M., unless your nearest neighbor lives miles away.

Trivia #1 answer: What was the 1st European country to require an emergency loan as a result of the financial crisis? The country received a £1.3 billion bailout package from the International Monetary Fund (IMF) in 2008. – Greece, Belarus, Serbia, Iceland, Estonia, Moldova – Iceland
Trivia #2 answer: Highest career batting average as a member of the Red Sox. Put the top 6 in order of highest to lowest – Nomar Garciaparra, Ted Williams, Jimmie Foxx, Wade Boggs, Pete Runnels, Tris Speaker – Ted Williams (.344), Wade Boggs (.338), Tris Speaker (.337), Nomar Garciaparra (.323), Pete Runnels (.320), Jimmie Foxx (.320)
Trivia #3 answer: The medical condition “Ageusia” is the complete loss of what? – The complete loss of taste
Trivia #4 answer: Tom Brady threw touchdown passes to 98 different players. What quarterback is #2 all-time with touchdown passes to 73 different players? – Drew Brees, Steve DeBerg, Vinny Testaverde, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Paul Fenlon – Drew Brees
Trivia #5 answer: The Atlanta Falcons’ left tackle Jake Matthews has only missed one game in his 12-year career. How many times in his career has he appeared on an injury report prior to a game? – 1, 3, 7, 11, ,14, 17, 21 – Last week he appeared on the injury report (as ‘questionable’) for only the 11^th time in his career.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Bologna Day!

Happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and offer thanks for all the troubles we don’t have.

Let a little more music into your life.

“Lay me on the ground
Or fly me in the sky
Show me where to look
Tell me what will I find?
What will I find?

Whoa. Heaven, let your light shine down
Whoa. Heaven, let your light shine down
Whoa. Heaven, let your light shine down
Whoa. Heaven, let your light shine down”

Collective Soul (Shine)

Briefly.

I grew up thinking my Dad was always irritated for no reason. Now look at me, Always Irritated Jr.

Trivia #1: In 2004, Ichiro Suzuki finished the season with 262 hits, still the most ever. Places 2-9 happened in the years between 1911-1930. What player is at #10 with 242 hits in 2001.
Trivia #2: What is ‘Hg’ in the periodic table?
Trivia #3: Who has the most passing yards in a single game in the NFL? – Tom Brady Nick Foles, Kurt Warner, Dan Fouts, Ken O’Brien, Brett Favre

On this date: October 17, 415, Jewish autonomy in Palestine ended by the Romans and Raban Gamliel forced from office
October 17, 1814, London Beer Flood: A burst vat at Meux & Company Brewery floods city streets with over 300,000 gallons of porter ale, killing eight, with a possible ninth later from alcohol poisoning
October 17, 1816, 1st British Open Men’s Golf, Prestwick GC: Willie Park Sr. wins the inaugural event by two strokes over fellow Scot Tom Morris Sr.
October 17, 1933, Albert Enistein arrives in US as a refugee from Nazi Germany
October 17, 1956, Chess “Game of the Century”: 13-year-old Bobby Fischer defeats 1953 U.S. Champion Donald Byrne in the Rosenwald Memorial Tournament at the Marshall Chess Club in New York City
October 17, 1972, Chuck Berry’s “My Ding-a-Ling,” is #1
October 17, 1979, Mother Theresa of Calcutta awarded Nobel Peace Prize
October 17, 2003, Pinnacle is fitted on the roof of Taipei 101, a 101-floor skyscraper in Taipei, allowing it to surpass the Petronas Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur by 50 meters (165 feet) to become the world’s tallest high-rise (Really)
October 17, 2020, Chicago is declared the “rattiest city” in America for the sixth year in a row by pest control service Orkin (That streak is up to 10)

Go away: LeBron James, out with a sciatica issue. Who else remembers Larry Bird lying on his back to stretch it out during breaks in a game only to go back in. Hang it up.

Article I’ll skip: Jennifer Lopez admits she’s never felt truly loved, exes weren’t ‘capable’

Not all construction work is enjoyable. For example, drilling a hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Farmers’ Almanac predictions for the Northeast winter generally indicate above-normal temperatures and below-normal precipitation, but with some significant snow expected in late December and late February.

They said it: “Money comes and goes, but legacy? That’s something you build with your heart. I’m here to give everything I’ve got to Boston, because this city gave me more than I could ever ask for. This jersey means more than any paycheck.” – The Red Sox’ Trevor Story

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: OpenAI will soon lower restrictions on the content ChatGPT can produce, allowing the service to create “erotica” if users wish.

A pun enters a room and kills ten people. Pun in, ten dead.

Don’t be that guy. Let the person cross the street in front of you. Jeez.

Trivia #1 answer: In 2004, Ichiro Suzuki finished the season with 262 hits, still the most ever. Places 2-9 happened in the years between 1911-1930. What player is at #10 with 242 hits in 2001. – Ichiro Suzuki
Trivia #2 answer: What is ‘Hg’ in the periodic table? – Mercury
Trivia #3 answer: Who has the most passing yards in a single game in the NFL? – Tom Brady Nick Foles, Kurt Warner, Dan Fouts, Ken O’Brien, Brett Favre – Kurt Warner (546 in 2000)

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Mulligan Day! (Now, we all know golfers who celebrate this throughout the year, don’t we?)

The world needs more tee boxes and less X-boxes.

“Well it’s all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it’s all right, if you live the life you please
Well it’s all right, doing the best you can
Well it’s all right, as long as you lend a hand”

The Traveling Wilburys (End of the Line)

Bonus!

Chuck Berry (My Ding-a-Ling)