Author: fasted86

Briefly.

I saw a guy at Starbucks yesterday. No iPhone, no tablet, no laptop. He just sat there, drinking coffee… like a psychopath.

Trivia #1: In Super Bowl XXXVII, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers intercepted the Raiders’ Rich Gannon a record five times en route to a 48-21 victory. How many of those interceptions were returned for touchdowns?

Trivia #2: In Super Bowl LIV, what record did the Kansas City Chiefs break in their 31-20 win over the 49ers – Most passing yards, Most third-down conversions, Most fourth down conversions, Most third quarter points, Most fourth quarter points?

Trivia #3: Tom Brady will break a Super Bowl record when he steps onto the field on Sunday. What is the record and who is next in line?

Here you go: Tampa Bay 40, Kansas City 36 (yes, I have a 6,0 square)

People often ask; “Ed, what can you tell me about the Fan Controlled Football?” – Opening Day is February 13. Some notes: it is 7-on-7 on a 50-yard field; no kicking or special teams and the games are 1-hour long

Here are some Super Bowl prop bets, all associated on the coin toss. Heads/Tails, coin toss winner (team), player calls toss correctly, result of coin toss and game winner. I mean, really!

No two snowflakes are alike. Well, so far!

Kansas City’s left tackle Eric Fisher, all 6’7”, 306 lbs of him, tore his Achilles in the AFC Championship game two weekends ago. Step-up Mike Remmers, who was already filling in for injured right tackle, Mitchell Schwatz, will now start at left tackle. Big deal for Sunday’s game?? Tune in…

If you don’t think of Forrest Gump when you hear “Sweet Home Alabama”, you haven’t watched the movie enough times.

Good news: Let’s just wait until Sunday and see how many squares I hit

Good for them! At last week’s Farmers’ Insurance Open, Patrick Reed took controversial relief from an embedded ball on Torrey Pines’ 10^th hole. On-site rules officials declared Reed’s action to have been within the rules and he went on to win by 5 shots. Well, not really. It turns out he cheated.         PointsBet, an online sports book that partners with the PGA tour is offering a refund. It posted on its Twitter account that it would refund pre-tournaments bets on all players other than Reed.

It’s been a couple of weeks but if you haven’t seen the video of Steph Curry draining 105 straight 3-pointers after practice, look it up. I counted

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Continents shift at about the same rate your fingernails grow

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: The National Chicken Council (yes, there is such a thing) speculates that Americans will devour a record 1.42 billion chicken wings on Super Bowl Sunday, up 2% from 2020.

Hello darkness my old friend… I stood up too fast again.

Quote for the week: “What the hell is goin’ on out here?” – Vince Lombardi

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Several Wisconsin teachers have been suspended after having middle-schoolers determine punishment for slaves for an assignment given at the start of Black History Month. (what are people thinking??)

Trivia #1 answer: In Super Bowl XXXVII the Tampa Bay Buccaneers intercepted the Raiders’ Rich Gannon a record five times en route to a 48-21 victory. How many of those interceptions were returned for touchdowns? – 3

Trivia #2 answer: In Super Bowl LIV, what record did the Kansas City Chiefs break in their 31-20 win over the 49ers – Most passing yards, Most third-down conversions, Most fourth down conversions, Most third quarter points, Most fourth quarter points? – Most fourth quarter points (21)

Trivia #3 answer: Tom Brady will break a Super Bowl record when he steps onto the field on Sunday. What is the record and who is next in line? – Brady (43) will be the oldest ever to play in a Super Bowl, kicker Matt Stover (42) is the second oldest and played in Super Bowl XLIV with the Colts.

R.I.P. David “Munnsy” “The Chief” Munns (57), on May 19, 2017. Munnzy moved from Glastonbury, CT to Tampa, FL circa 1990-ish. He became a season ticket holder and devout Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan. He would have been, and should be, at the Super Bowl this Sunday. Here’s to The Chief! Go Bucs!

Be careful out there.

“And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
“What’s going on?”

And I say, hey-ey-ey
Hey-ey-ey
I said, “Hey, a-what’s going on
And I say, hey-ey-ey
Hey-ey-ey
I said, “Hey, a-what’s going on?”

– 4 Non Blondes

Briefly.

I’m a perfectionist with a procrastinator complex. Someday I’m going to be awesome!

Trivia #1: I understand that those reading this are not all from Massachusetts, just many of you… Which three Massachusetts cities are listed in the top 100 Most Dangerous Cities in the U.S. – Holyoke, Boston, Leominster, Springfield, Fall River, New Bedford?

Trivia #2: Hank Aaron is the all-time RBI leader with 2,297. What two active players are in the top 25?

Trivia #3: Who is Lawrence Harvey Zeiger?

Can you see it? Years from now when we reminisce about holidays from 2020, instead of looking at photos are we going to replay saved Zoom meetings??

People often ask; “Ed, what can you tell me about the Fan Controlled Football?” – You too can now own a piece of the pie. For a minimum investment of $150 you can buy into the league. (no thanks)

Another all-around nice win for the Bruins last night.

Super Bowl – It’s the GOAT vs. The Kid – get it?

Good news: (for the most part) – 11 of the 22 Chinese miners trapped at least 2,000 feet underground since January 10 were rescued and hauled up one-by-one in baskets from the mine in Qixia. The other 10 miners are unaccounted for. China’s mines are among the world’s deadliest and, even after a series of safety improvements, there were still 573 mine-related deaths in 2020.

Quote for the week: “A black man is getting a standing ovation in the Deep South for breaking the record of an all-time baseball idol.” – Vin Sculley, April 8, 1974 as Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth’ career homerun record.

Quote for the week, part deux: “I can’t imagine what Hank Aaron went through in his lifetime. He had every right to be angry or militant… but he never was. He spread his grace on everything and every one he came in contact with. The epitome of class and integrity. RIP Henry Aaron.” – Former Atlanta Braves third baseman, Chipper Jones

I came across my July 23, 2007 Sports Illustrated on which Hank Aaron donned the cover. The article, written by Tom Verducci, was entitled “The People’s King.” Barry Bonds was on his way to breaking Aaron’s homerun record but Verducci wrote what was true, that Bonds’ career was marred with steroid use and Aaron’s record would remain intact for true baseball fans.

Also in that July, 2007 SI issue was an article on Philip Francis, the “can’t-miss kid”, then the reigning U.S. Junior Golf Champ and freshman-to-be at UCLA. He won 140 junior events. Guess what? He missed. What little I could find on him he played in a few PGA events on sponsors’ exemptions, tying for 34^th at the ’08 John Deere Classic. Last I saw he missed the cut in his only PGA tournament in 2011 and was playing on the Mackenzie Tour in Canada in 2014. Can’t miss.

Speaking of the Hall of Fame, I don’t feel bad that Curt Schilling lost his chance to get in by a vote or two. I don’t feel bad because he is a blow-hard and that is why some baseball writer’s black-balled him. Having said that, that is not a reason to be left out. He deserves to be in.

Lastly, and I’ll get off the baseball HOF, how can anyone read recent stories about Hank Aaron and turn around and vote for steroid users for induction into the HOF???

People who write “u” instead of “you”, “r” instead of “are”, etc. What do you do with all the time you save?

22,000 fans will be in attendance for Super Bowl LV at   Raymond James Stadium, including 7,500 vaccinated health care workers who are invited as guests. Nice!

The University of Kentucky’s men’s basketball team is 5-10.

Said the middle school teacher to the student: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Student: “Oh, I don’t know. Probably a backup MLB infielder or a bought-out SEC football coach.” – That’s right. Last season in 211 at-bats, A’s infielder Marcus Semien batted .223. This week he signed a one-year, $18 million deal to play for Toronto.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Target won’t sell Thai coconut milk after probe shows product made by forced monkey labor. Two PETA investigations found that the primates are forced to pick coconuts all day with chains around their necks.

Budweiser, and now many other companies, has chosen to forgo airing its iconic commercials during the Super Bowl and will instead donate money to the Ad Council and COVID Collaborative Vaccine Education Initiative, a public health communication campaign and additional efforts to support vaccine adoption efforts. Meanwhile, Anheuser-Busch will continue to run ads for other products in its beverage portfolio, including Bud Light, Bud Light Seltzer Lemonade, Michelob ULTRA, Michelob Ultra Organic Seltzer and ads in select markets for Stella Artois and Cutwater spirits.

R.I.P. Gregory Sierra (83) – The native of Spanish Harlem in New York City played the role of Julio Fuentes in “Sanford and Son” and also played Sgt. Miguel “Chano” Amanguale in “Barney Miller.”  His notable film credits include “The Towering Inferno”, “Beneath the Planet of the Apes” and 1988’s “Vampire.” His career was also full of guest spots on iconic shows like “Magnum P.I.”, “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” and “The X-Files.”

R.I.P. Hank Aaron (86) – Hall of Fame right fielder primarily with the Milwaukee/Atlanta Braves. A 21-time all-star, league MVP in 1957 (finished 3^rd 6 times), 3-time Gold Glove, 755 career homeruns considered by many to be the all-time champion. A career .305 hitter. Aaron became one of the first African-American’s to hold an executive position in MLB and was corporate Vice President of community relations for Turner Broadcasting Systems. The Hank Aaron Award was created in 1999 to honor the hitter who is deemed the most effective hitter in each league.

Trivia #1 answer: I understand that those reading this are not all from Massachusetts, just many of you… Which three Massachusetts cities are listed in the top 100 Most Dangerous Cities in the U.S. – Holyoke, Boston, Leominster, Springfield, Fall River, New Bedford? – Springfield, Holyoke, Fall River

Trivia #2 answer: Hank Aaron is the all-time RBI leader with 2,297. What two active players are in the top 25? – Albert Pujols (3^rd with 2,100, 40-years old) and Miguel Cabrera (24^th with 1,729, 37 years old)

Trivia #3 answer: Who is Lawrence Harvey Zeiger? – Larry King

Be careful out there.

“What you get and what you see
Things that don’t come easily
Feeling happy in my vein
Icicles are in my brain

Something blowing in my hair
Winter’s ice, it soon was dead
Death would freeze my very soul
Makes me happy, makes me cold– Black Sabbat

Briefly.

To those who still wear their mask below the nose, it’s almost a year now, it takes less time to potty train a toddler.

Trivia #1: Who is Stefani Germanotta?

Trivia #2: With a win on Sunday, Tom Brady would join what three quarterbacks as the only ones to lead two different franchises to a Super Bowl appearance?

Trivia #3: How many times zones are there in Canada – 3,4,5,6,7? Bonus: Name them?

Trivia #4: As of May 2020, of the 326 players in the NFL Hall of Fame, how many played for just one franchise throughout their career – 84, 99, 117, 133, 159, 182, 221?

Trivia #5: What 1965 hit is said to be the most played on radio and television in the 20^th century?

People often ask; “Ed, what can you tell me about Fan Controlled Football?” – The following are the winning hashtags of each team chosen by you, the fans: The Beasts – #BeastModeBeatDown, Glacier Boyz’ – #IcedOut, The Wild Aces – #TheAceIsWild, the Zappers – #ZapEm.

At 9:21 P.M. last night it was the 21^st minute of the 21^st hour of the 21^st day of the 21^st year of the 21^st century.

Good news: I’m really trying here…

Good Bruins “win” last night. I mean, another shootout… As a friend recently said “why don’t they just cut cards?”

Brady/Rodgers, NFC Championship, Lambeau Field – ‘nuf said

Speaking of Tom Brady, for a Patriots’ fan, it is a little surreal that A) the Pats weren’t in the playoffs at all and B) Brady is in the playoffs only with another team.

I don’t think a healthy Mahomes can beat the Bills. I’ll take the points and the I’ll take the points in Lambeau. Brady’s kind of weather. Didn’t I just say “’nuf said???”

Headlines…

Say what? – Oklahoma Rep. introduces bill to create Bigfoot ‘hunting season’

OK??? – Skipping dinner might lead to weight gain, new study says (now I can see skipping breakfast or lunch but who skips dinner?)

Say it ain’t so: IOC President Thomas Bach and local organizers are pushing back against reports that the postponed Tokyo Olympics, now set to open July 23, will be cancelled. Tokyo has already spent about $25 billion to organize these Olympics, most of which is public money.

Tiger Woods is on the shelf yet again after he announced that he underwent a microdiscectomy procedure on his back to remove a pressurized disc fragment that was pinching a nerve. He hopes to be ready for the Masters in April.

Tesla Inc. CEO and billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk yesterday took to Twitter to promise a $100 million prize for development of the “best” technology to capture carbon dioxide emissions. Let’s get a 30-pack and see what we come up with?!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Carli Lloyd, one of the faces of U.S. Women’s Soccer, received backlash from a reporter after standing during the national anthem. (For standing!)

I wrote a song about Elton John… it’s a little bit funny

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Adele reaches divorce settlement with estranged husband nearly 2 years after split.

Soooo many postponements and cancellations in the NFL and the NBA. Very discouraging.

Speaking of which, the NHL Dallas Stars finally get under way tonight to start their season after their first four games were cancelled due to COVID-19 restrictions.

Quote for the week: “Some birds are just not meant to be caged” – Red (in Shawshank Redemption) – can’t get enough AMC these days

It’s not about how far apart we are but how close we can be.

R.I.P. Phil Spector (81) – Legendary music producer; Spector’s “Wall of Sound” – merging vocal harmonies with lavish orchestral arrangements – revolutionized music production in the 1960’s, and John Lennon called him “the greatest record producer ever.” And oh ya, he died while serving a 19 years-to-life sentence for murdering actress Lana Clarkson.

Trivia #1 answer: Who is Stefani Germanotta? – Lady Gaga

Trivia #2 answer: With a win on Sunday, Tom Brady would join what three quarterbacks as the only ones to lead two different franchises to a Super Bowl appearance? – Kurt Warner, Peyton Manning and Craig Morton

Trivia #3 answer: How many times zones are there in Canada – 3,4,5,6,7? Bonus: Name them? – Pacific, Mountain, Central, Eastern, Atlantic and Newfoundland

Trivia #4 answer: As of May 2020, of the  326 players in the NFL Hall of Fame, how many played for just one franchise throughout their career – 84, 99, 117, 133, 159, 182, 221? – 133

Trivia #5: What 1965 hit is said to be the most played on radio and television in the 20^th century? – “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” – written by Phil Spector

Be careful out there.

“Now there’s no welcome look in your eyes when I reach for you
And now you’re starting to critize the things I do
It makes me feel just like crying (baby)
‘Cause baby, something beautiful’s dying

You lost that lovin’ feelin’
Whoa, that lovin’ feelin’
You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’
Now it’s gone… gone… gone… woah”– The Righteous Brothers

Briefly.

My editor says tht I repeatedly make typoes. What a bunch if crap.

If you put the vaccine in beer and opened up the pubs, the whole country would be vaccinated by next Thursday. Hey, I’m just trying to help.

Trivia #1: Which quarterback is the oldest amongst this weekend’s AFC playoff quarterbacks? Baker Mayfield, Lamar Jackson, Patrick Mahomes, Josh Allen

Trivia #2: What percentage of Libya is desert? – 60%, 75%, 80%, 85%, 95%, 99%

Trivia #3: While many U.S. presidents have been featured in Sports Illustrated, only four have graced the cover. Who are they? Bonus: Who is the only one to make the cover twice?

Trivia #4: Who is Bianca Smith?

People often ask; “Ed, what can you tell me about Fan Controlled Football?” – So I signed up. You pick your team, one of four, and answer questions about the league. The latest was how playoffs will work. You answer questions about format, seedings, etc. and it returns the percentages of fans’ selections. I came in a tad late so I missed the selection of team uniforms. Interesting to say the least.

Good news: Dr. Anne Hampton recently jumped at a chance to join a medical team that was to inoculate residents at The Steppes care home in Gloustershire where her father was a resident. She hadn’t been able to see her father in the past 10 months due to lockdown until she gave him his vaccine shot on January 1.

On Sunday, Patrick Mahomes (Kansas City) takes on Baker Mayfield (Cleveland) in what we hope is an epic rematch. The two last met in 2016 when Mayfield (Oklahoma) came out on top of Mahomes (Texas Tech) 66-59. The two combined for 1,279 passing yards while Mahomes was 52 of 88 for 819 yards and Mayfield threw for 545 yards and seven touchdowns.

Headlines…

Oxymoron headline of the week?: “‘Survivor’ contestant Angie Jakusz dead at 40”

What a way to be remembered: “Tim Lester, former NFL fullback who blocked for Hall of Famer Jerome Bettis, dies from COVID-19 complications”

Useless headline of the week: “Trinity Rodman, daughter of former NBA star Dennis Rodman, taken No. 2 in NWSL Draft”

In other useless news, the Rockets finally rid themselves of James Harden. Harden joins Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving in Brooklyn forming the new ‘Big Three’ in the NBA. The three will earn a combined $112 million this season. A very interesting mix of characters indeed.

Nice to see professional golf back. Tell me, does any player look more uptight than Bryson Dechambeau? Man, lighten up!

Let me explain. If you open a new loaf of bread and take the first slice, you are not taking the ‘end’, you are taking the ‘beginning’.

The Bruins are undefeated having beat the Devils in a shootout last night. Go B’s!

Speaking of hockey… Now I ain’t no Nostradamus or anything but I’m guessing a whole lot fewer fans will be struck by errant pucks this season than in past seasons.

After the Kansas City/Cleveland game on Sunday the weekend wraps up with Tom Brady and Tampa vs. Drew Brees and New Orleans. So much theater for this one. I won’t be disappointed if Tampa wins, and I would then root for them to win it all, but I will be rooting for the Saints.

The line  on last Saturday’s Bucs/Redskins game had the Bucs favored by 8. 8, an odd number for a spread?? Final – Bucs 31, Redskins 23. The bookies win again!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Local city Lawrence has suspended all high school sports at Lawrence High School due to the pandemic and local infection rates while private high school Central Catholic, also located in Lawrence, is forging ahead with their sports programs.

The Green Bay Packers Jared Valdheer missed out on a chance to make NFL history. Last weekend, Valdheer was called up from the Colts practice squad and played in the Colts’ loss to the Bills. Because he was technically a practice squad player, he was able to sign with another team, the Packers, and would have been the first player to ever play for two different teams in the same playoff season. Instead he tested positive for COVID-19. DOH!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The most popular dog names in 2020 were ‘Cooper’ (male) and ‘Luna’ (female)

The cryptocurrency bitcoin is stored in digital “wallets.” Stefan Thomas has 7,002 bitcoin valued at about $260 million. The problem for Stefan is that the digital keys to his digital wallet are stored on his IronKey, an external thumb size storage device, and he has forgotten his password. IronKey gives you 10 attempts to get your password correct before the content is lost forever. Stefan has tried 8 times and has little hope in himself that he will remember his password.

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside… and it’s cold.

Quote for the week:

R.I.P. Tommy Lasorda (93) – Lasorda won two World Series as Dodgers manager in 1981 and 1988 while compiling a 1,599-1,439 managerial record and two NL Manager of the Year awards (1983, 1988). DYK, in 1948 while with the Schenectady Blue Jays, Lasorda struck out 25 in a 15-inning game setting a then professional record. In his first start in the majors for the Dodgers he lasted one inning after tying a major league record with three wild pitches in the inning being spiked while covering home plate. He was sent down and never pitched for the Dodgers again.

R.I.P. – Jeff ‘Vandy’ Richardson (58) – I had only seen Jeff once since high school and really never knew him very well, but his death hit home. Way to young. He was a real good guy and his passing brought back memories of growing up in the old neighborhood where you could safely go where ever you wanted as a kid and drink from the garden hose… without having to take off your mask.

R.I.P. – Siegfried Fischbacher (81) – Of the famed ‘Siegfried and Roy’ magic act. His partner Roy Horn died just 8 months ago.

Trivia #1 answer: Which quarterback is the oldest amongst this weekend’s AFC playoff quarterbacks? Baker Mayfield, Lamar Jackson, Patrick Mahomes, Josh Allen – Baker Mayfield (25)

Trivia #2 answer: What percentage of Libya is desert? – 60%, 75%, 80%, 85%, 95%, 99% – Libya is 99% desert

Trivia #3 answer: While many U.S. presidents have been featured in Sports Illustrated, only four have graced the cover. Who are they? Bonus: Who is the only one to make the cover twice? – Bill Clinton, John F. Kennedy, Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan (twice)

Trivia #4 answer: Who is Bianca Smith? – Bianca was recently hired by the Red Sox making her the first black female coach in professional baseball

Be careful out there.

“Take a bottle
Shake it up
Break the bubble
Break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C’mon, fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
I can’t get enough

I’m hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet”– Def Leppard

Briefly. (I’m just trying to give you a brief diversion from the shitshow(s))

Be the reason someone smiles today… or the reason they drink. Whatever works.

Trivia #1: Michael Phelps has 23 gold medals, more than most countries. Where does he rank in total gold medals against the world? – 11^th, 29th, 32^nd, 38^th, 44^th, 50^th, 61^st

Trivia #2: Tom Brady is just the second player in NFL history to go to the playoffs in 12 consecutive seasons. Who is the other?

Trivia #3: How many planets in our solar system are not named after a god or goddess?

Trivia #4: In what season year did the NFL wildcard weekend include both a Saturday and Sunday game at the Meadowlands? Bonus: what teams played in each game?

People often ask; “Ed, what can you tell me about Fan Controlled Football?” – Well, two-time WNBA champion Renee Montgomery is the first female Team Owner in FCF is beyond excited to join the Beasts.

Good news: A Somerset, MA police officer responded to a call at the local Stop & Shop of a woman shoplifting. She was at the self check-put line and skipping the scanner putting items directly into her bags. She was with her two young children. The officer, who has two kids of his own, learned that the woman had no job and was stealing food for their holiday dinner. He said she was stealing nothing but food, no personal items (health, beauty items or anything of the like) so instead of arresting her he bought her a $250 gift card.

We all wondered about the lack of home field advantage in the NFL this season, didn’t we(?), what with no fans allowed at most games. Visiting teams had a collective 128-127-1 mark for the 2020 season. Over the prior 50 seasons home teams had a .575 winning percentage.

In other news… the seven dwarfs have been advised that they can only meet in groups of six. One of them isn’t Happy.

On January 4, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service removed grey wolves from the endangered species list leaving the management of wolf populations to state authorities. The next day Wisconsin announced it will be hosting its first wolf hunting season since 2014.

I watched a replay of the greatest comeback in football history the other night. You know, in “The Longest Yard” when the prisoners came from three touchdowns back in the 4^th quarter to beat the guards.

This is the time of the year when we must succumb to watching ESPN’s Sports Center’s “Top 10” each day and each day we watch dunks. Dunks! Mostly men, college and professional, guys who are often more than 7-feet tall throwing the basketball into a hoop ten feet high. Here’s a suggestion: why not have a “Kids’ Top 10” and let them watch the seemingly entertaining dunks and give us sports fans some actual top 10 “plays”?

You translate. A South Carolina man hospitalized with coronavirus for two months says his wife’s voice helped him out of a coma. Now, was that a sooth, loving, encouraging voice or a loud, screeching voice telling him to get better so he can get home and finish the dishes?

Article I’ll skip: “Why Kurt Cobain’s ‘90’s cardigan is trending”

Useless headline of the week: “Ball brothers, Lonza, LaMelo set to square off in NBA matchup” – Really, other thn family, does anyone give a shit?

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Need I say? I mean, WTF!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse part deux: Dozens of cases and one death among Kaiser Permanente employees in San Jose have been linked to an inflatable costume worn by a staffer on Christmas.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse part trois (now there’s a new one!): The NHL sold the naming rights of its four divisions for the first time in its history. The league announced Tuesday that its teams will play in Scotia NHL North Division, Honda NHL West Division, Discover NHL Central Division and the MassMutual NHL East Division.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Todd McShay put out his mock 2021 NFL draft

Quote for the week: “Sometimes there just aren’t enough rocks” – Forrest Gump

I have to admit it’s surreal to see Tom Brady in the playoffs with a team other than the Patriots. Go Redskins!

I am forever disappointed that chef Bobby Flay didn’t name his daughter “Sue”.

Trivia #1 answer: Michael Phelps has 23 gold medals, more than most countries. Where does he rank in total gold medals against the world? – 11^th, 29th, 32^nd, 38^th, 44^th, 50^th, 61^st – 38^th

Trivia #2 answer: Tom Brady is just the second player in NFL history to go to the playoffs in 12 consecutive seasons. Who is the other? – Current Tennessee Titans kicker Steve Gostkowski

Trivia #3 answer: How many planets in our solar system are not named after a god or goddess? – One – Earth

Trivia #4 answer: In what year did the NFL wildcard weekend include both a Saturday and Sunday game at the Meadowlands? Bonus: what teams played in each game? – 1985 – The Jets lost to New England 26-14 on Saturday and on Sunday the Giants beat San Francisco 17-3.

Be careful out there.

“In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
There’s a land that’s fair and bright
Where the handouts grow on bushes
And you sleep out every night

Where the boxcars are all empty
And the sun shines every day
And the birds and the bees
And the cigarette trees

The lemonade springs
Where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountain”

– Harry McClintock

Briefly.

Happy New Year!

I stayed up last night not to see the new year in, but to make sure the prior one left.

Never make a snow angel in a dog park.

Trivia #1: What is the most commonly shoplifted food in the world?

Trivia #2: I didn’t know the “Gilligan’s Island” cast had last names as in recently deceased Dawn Wells as Mary Ann Summers. What were the last names of the others, excluding of course the Howells?

Trivia #3: Name the two conferences that have never sent a team to a BCS (Bowl Championship Series) bowl.

Trivia #4: Which of the following celebrities never played college football? Bonus to name where the others played. – Bill Cosby, Tommy Lee Jones, Vin Diesel, John Goodman, Nick Nolte, Gerald Ford, Mark Harmon, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson

Trivia #5: Who is the oldest Stooge? – Larry, Moe, Shemp, Joe, Curly

Trivia #6: Zdeno Chara was drafted by which NHL team in 1996?

Trivia #7: USC has appeared in the Rose Bowl more times than any other school (34). What school is second? – Ohio State, Washington, Stanford, Michigan, UCLA, Wisconsin

Go Irish!

Please, just once, call traveling in the NBA. For the love of God, just once!!!!

Have you heard yet of the Fan Controlled League? It’s coming soon. This will be a real, actual football league where fans control everything about their team from the name of it to the coaches they sign and decisions those same coaches make. More to come on the details.

Good news: Ahold Delhaize, the largest grocery retail group on the East Coast with brands including Stop & Shop, Food Lion, Giant Food, The GIANT Company and Hannaford, on Tuesday announced a $10 million relief package to address critical needs in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic.

Puh-lease! “Lori Loughlin has tearful reunion with daughters after prison release”

Tom Brady is the first player in NFL history to play 20+ seasons with one team and then go on to make the playoffs with another.

Headline of the week: “Kentucky man goes viral for clearing snowy driveway with a flamethrower” – Man, and I thought using a snow blower was fun.

Remember when the Pittsburgh Steelers were 11-0? That was dope!

Quote for the week: “You can only be young once, but you can always be immature.” – Louisiana Senator John Kennedy

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Lute Letlow, newly elected member of Congress from Louisiana, died from complications related to COVID-19. Letlow (41) was a husband, father of two and days from being sworn into office. Now look, I know this shit is happening every day it’s just that some stories for whatever reason, seem to hit harder than others.

I may be wrong, but I doubt it.

Next Gen useless stat of the week: Philadelphia QB Jalen Hurts is second in the NFL in “Average Intended Air Yards” at 9.8 yards. Hey, good intentions.

I want a simple life. I want to get up late, drink tea and read old books. I also want a spaceship and a pet dragon.

Trivia #1 answer: t is the most commonly shoplifted food in the world? – Cheese

Trivia #2 answer: I didn’t know the “Gilligan’s Island” cast had last names as in recently deceased Dawn Wells as Mary Ann Summers. What were the last names of the others, excluding of course the Howells? – Ginger Grant, Professor Roy Hinckley, Jonas ‘The Skipper’ Grumby and Gilligan, who had no last name.

Trivia #3 answer: Name the two conferences that have never sent a team to a BCS (Bowl Championship Series) bowl. – Conference USA and the Sun Belt

Trivia #4 answer: Which of the following celebrities never played college football? Bonus to name where the others played. – Vin Diesel. The others: Bill Cosby (Temple), Tommy Lee Jones (Harvard), John Goodman (‘Southwest’ Missouri State), Nick Nolte (Arizona State), Gerald Ford (Michigan), Mark Harmon (UCLA), Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson (University of Miami)

Trivia #5 answer: Who is the oldest Stooge? – Larry, Moe, Shemp, Joe, Curly – Shemp

Trivia #6 answer: Zdeno Chara was drafted by which NHL team in 1996? – The New York Islanders

Trivia #7 answer: USC has appeared in the Rose Bowl more times than any other school (34). What school is second? – Ohio State, Washington, Stanford, Michigan, UCLA, Wisconsin – Michigan (20)

R.I.P. Phil Niekro (81) – Legendary, Hall of Fame knuckleball pitcher played 24 years in the majors, 21 with the Atlanta Braves.                 He finished his career with 318 wins, 2,912 strikeouts, 226 complete games and was a five-time All-Star and five-time Gold Glove winner.

R.I.P. Dawn Wells (82) – Miss Nevada in 1959 before she was casted in “Gilligan’s Island” in 1964 as Mary Ann Summers.

R.I.P. Sam Little (80) – Referred to as the country’s most prolific serial killer, confessed to more than 90 slayings. He was a former boxer and investigators said the believe he knocked out his victims with a punch before strangling them while masturbating.

Be careful out there.

“We’re gonna cause talk and suspicion
We’re gonna give an exhibition
We’re gonna find out what it is all about
After midnight, we’re gonna let it all hang down
After midnight, we’re gonna let it all hang down”

– Eric Clapton

Briefly.

“Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow”

Trivia #1: Where did the Grinch live?

Trivia #2: What does campanology mean?

Trivia #3: What is legendary sportscaster Brent Musburger’s middle name?

“Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel – born is the King of Israel”

There’s being hungry and then there’s getting sushi from a gas station.

“Well maybe just a half a drink more – Put some music on while I pour”

DYK: Brent Musburger (81) is the lead broadcaster and managing editor at Vegas Stats and Information Network (VSiN) and the radio play-by-play voice of the Las Vegas Raiders.

“Just remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your own heart”

Headline of the week: “My husband and I are planning on giving our daughter a home for Christmas. Are we making a mistake?” – Who are these people??? BTW, another Christmas, another day there’s no Mercedes in my driveway with a bow on it.

“Sleep in heavenly peace”

The University of Arizona has hired the New England Patriots’ quarterback coach Jedd Fisch as their new head coach. I guess that is because he did such a good job with Cam Newton this past season. DOH!

“You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear, voices singing let’s be jolly, deck the halls with boughs of holly”

Don’t eat December snow, it’s just not ripe.

“O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree, much pleasure doth thou bring me” – for you locals, remember to save your Christmas tree for my personal, off-winter burning entertainment!

Joining in prayer… you’re doing it wrong. 37-year old Jesse Martinez shared a two-person room with an 82-year old man at Antelope Valley Hospital in Los Angeles. Both were being treated for COVID-19. The two did not know each other but the elderly victim’s Catholic praying upset Martinez on the morning of December 17. Martinez is accused of grabbing an oxygen tank and pummeling the victim to his death.

“’Tis the season to be jolly”

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart!

Good news: 57-year old Mary Shannon Daniel, whose husband has early-onset Alzheimer’s and is an assisted living facility, took a second job as a dishwasher with a cleaning crew to get around coronavirus restrictions  barring visitors. Daniel made headlines after posting about her being reunited with her husband after an unbearable 114 days. (Godspeed to any of you out there going through anything similar)

“Ding, dong, ding dong… that is their song”

Pittsburgh wide receiver JuJu Smith-Shuster has announced that he will no longer dance on his opponent’s midfield logo, or his own, before games. This is after coach Mike Tomlin said he would speak with Smith-Shuster this past week. Tomlin said the dancing was simply a sign  of disrespect. I should not that apparently the act was not disrespectful while the team was 11-0, but it became disrespectful after the team’s 3-game losing streak. Mike Tomlin is a buffoon.

“Bells are ringing, children singing, all is merry and bright”

I keep trying to see your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head quite that far up my ass.

“You’re a crocked dirty jockey and you drive a crocked hoss, Mr. Grinch”

Get your relatives speaking to one another again by sending a heartfelt Christmas card with a picture of your family with an extra child nobody knows.

“All is calm, all is bright”

Next Gen useless stat of the week: The Green Bay Packers’ tight end Robert Tonyan has the highest catch percentage in the NFL at 89.09%. Second is Tampa Bay’s Chris Godwin at 80.88%.

Quote for the week: “Surprised Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” – Clark Griswold

Quote for the week, part deux: “And I had a little help from Jack Daniels.” – Clark Griswold’s father

Trivia #1 answer: Where did the Grinch live? – Mount Crumpit

Trivia #2: What does campanology mean? – Campanology is the art or practice of bell-ringing

Trivia #3: What is legendary sportscaster Brent Musburger’s middle name? – Woody

Merry Christmas everyone and be careful out there.

“Fahoo Fores Dahoo Dores
Welcome Christmas bring your cheer
Fahoo fores Dahoo Dores
Welcome all Whos far and near”

– Dr. Suess

Briefly.

Seeing how some people wear their masks, I now understand how contraceptives fail.

Trivia #1: Was exactly is the “Power Five?”

Vanderbilt kicker Sarah Fuller’s career is over after the Vanderbilt/Georgia game was cancelled due to COVID-19 and will not be rescheduled. She became the first woman to score in a Power Five game, 2 pts last week vs. Tennessee.

Googling, you’re doing it wrong. In disgusting news, 29-year old Kirstie Flood is charged with two counts of murder , aggravated battery and first-degree cruelty to a child. Flood initially told police the child hit her head on a slide and didn’t wake up. Investigators later found searches on Flood’s cell phone that included “what type of people enjoy abusing other people’s children” and “what does it mean to have a sudden urge to beat a child that is not yours?”

Let’s move on from that one!

Good news: Twin 11-year old siblings in southern California are passing out candy canes during their neighborhood’s Christmas light show in hopes of raising enough money to buy presents for children whose families are suffering economic hardships during the coronavirus pandemic. The attraction draws thousands of visitors annually and the brother and sister duo are soliciting donations. Nice!

Quote for the week: “I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.” – Samuel Butler

Quote for the week part deux: “It (COVID-19 ordinance in San Diego) kind of says that restaurants can reopen, but the caveat here may be that someone has to be stripping, which seems so wild to me. If that’s what it takes for us to reopen – taking off our clothes – I’ll do it!” – Chad Cline, co-owner of the Waterfront Bar & Grill in San Diego, CA.

Santa has been reading your posts all year. Most of you are getting dictionaries.

The Celtics have their second, and last, preseason game tonight before opening next Wednesday against the Bucks. Let’s go!

Letter of the year. A 9-year old from Essex, U.K. wrote a letter to Father Christmas admitting “…I’ve tried hard to be good but miserably failed… I do deserve a coal, but please I’d like a present too. Actually more than one, here’s a list.” Her list of 12 items included Apple Airpods, a trip to France and a panda and penguin (not dead)!

I’m not saying I hate you but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

NFL stat of the week: Dallas Cowboys’ Ezekiel Elliot leads the NFL with 19 rush attempts inside the 5-yard line. He has gained 2 yards on those carries.

Well, it happened again. 38-year old Australian Rosy Loomba fell to her death on Saturday while visiting Grampian National Park’s Boroka Lookout in Victoria with her husband and one of her children. Loomba climbed past safety barriers to pose on a rock for a photo when she tripped over the edge and plummeted about 262 feet down the cliff face.

Useless headline of the week: Movie star (Tom Cruise) leaves set, crew members quit after his wild COVID rants

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Sun Belt Conference has cancelled its championship game (football) over coronavirus with Coastal Carolina. (This actually encompasses many teams/games as Boston College was the first of several schools opting not to play in a bowl game this winter. Teams are dropping and games are being cancelled. This vaccine might be great and the word is it came out early, others say it’s a little late)

Trivia #1 answer: Was exactly is the “Power Five?” – The Power Five consists of the biggest and most popular athletic conferences – The Southeastern Conference, Atlantic Coast Conference, Big Ten Conference, Big 12 Conference, and Pac-12 Conference

Need to get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays? Put it in Amazon boxes and leave it on your front porch.

Be careful out there.

“Out of all the reindeers you know you’re the mastermind
Run run Rudolph, Randolph ain’t too far behind

Run, run Rudolf, Santa’s gotta make it to town
Santa, make him hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down
Run, run Rudolph ‘cause I’m rellin’ like a merry-go-round”

– Chuck Berry

Briefly.

Somewhere, someone is showering with a mask on. I know it.

Trivia #1: What is another name for the William V. Campbell Trophy?

Trivia #2: Remember Clarence “Lumpy” Rutherford from Leave It to Beaver? What was Mr. Rutherford’s first name?

Trivia #3: In 1947, Chuck Yeager, piloting the Bell X-1, broke the sound barrier reaching a speed of??? 500 mph, 600 mph, 700 mph, 800 mph, 850 mph, 900 mph

Headline of the day: 20% of Americans have gotten hurt while setting up Christmas trees in 2020 (only 9% last year)

Major League Baseball and its owners gave yet another virtual kick to the nuts of baseball fans, and teams/players, across America. MLB eliminated highly sought-after affiliations with 43 franchises at the developmental level – about a quarter of its sprawling minor league system – as each major legue team will be allowed only four minor league affiliates.

Good news: Retied Air Force colonel John Hobson (93) of Xenia, Ohio, has been whittling walking sticks to sell to his community for $3 apiece. All money earned is donated to a local food bank.

I think fines in professional sports should be based upon a percentage of salary rather than a flat number. A $25,000 fine for one player is much different for that of another.

Quote for the week: “Say not, I have found the truth, but rather I have found a truth” – Kahlil Gibran

Trivia #1 hint: The award is given by the National Football Foundation to a college football player.

Super foods. You know: Dark, leafy greens, Berries, Green tea, Nuts, etc. If one or more of these are included in a bacon and sausage sandwich, do they have the same positive health benefits?

The NHL is eyeing a January 13 return. (2021 in case you’re wondering)

Tom Brady and Ben Rothlisberger are in quite the battle. Brady sits in second place all-time for the number of times he’s been sacked in his career (516), creeping up on the all-time leader Brett Favre (525). Big Ben is currently fourth at 513.

Speaking of the Celtics… Tristan Thompson is out with a hamstring injury. You can blame me.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: According to Next Gen Stats, the most improbable completion so far this season in the NFL was a 20-yard completion by Joe Flacco to Jamison Crowder. The pass had a 6.2% completion probability.

Useless headline of the week: Adults reveal what scares them now, but didn’t bother them as children, and some answers may surprise you (ain’t surprising me if I don’t read the article)

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly because communication is key.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Some restaurants are partnering with nearby hotels to offer suites for use of small group dining. Brilliant!

R.I.P. Chuck Yeager (97) US Air Force officer and test pilot, known as “the fastest man alive.” Yeager broke the sound barrier when he tested the X-1 in October 1947. Also, Yeager reportedly flew 64 missions in WWII and shot down 13 German planes.

Trivia #1 answer: What is another name for the William V. Campbell Trophy? – Formerly the Vincent DePaul Draddy Trophy, it is otherwise considered by many as being the “Academic Heisman”

Trivia #2 answer: Remember Clarence “Lumpy” Rutherford from Leave It to Beaver? What was Mr. Rutherford’s first name? – Fred Rutherford

Trivia #3: In 1947, Chuck Yeager, piloting the Bell X-1, broke the sound barrier reaching a speed of??? 500 mph, 600 mph, 700 mph, 800 mph, 850 mph, 900 mph – 700 mph

Be careful out there.

“Prepare yourself you know it’s a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you die
He’s gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
Gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
That’s where your gonna go when you die
When they die and they lay you to rest
You’re gonna go to the place that’s the best”

– Norman Greenbaum

Briefly.

Stop complaining. (think about that and stop complaining!)

Trivia #1: What NFL team has had zero COVID cases this season?

Trivia #2: Who is the winningest active NCAA D1 men’s basketball coach (by percentage) at .828?

Trivia #3: UCLA has won the most NCAA men’s basketball tournaments with 11. What school is tied with them for the most appearances in the final game (12)?

Trivia #4: The modern standard 52-card deck was developed in what country in the 1450’s?

Trivia #5: DK Metcalf is a receiver with the Seattle Seahawks. What does ‘DK’ stand for? – no hint, you either know it or you don’t

Apparently, Dallas Cowboys’ Mike McCarthy ran out of watermelons.

Boy, some recent roughing-the-passer calls in the NFL have been horrendous!

Following Santa Clara County’s three-week ban on contact sports, the San Francisco 49ers will be playing their next two games in the Arizona Cardinals’ State Farm Stadium.

Scrap Car Comparison, an online service that helps people find the best cash offerings for their scrap or salvage vehicle, is launching a ‘Rage Yard’ experience to release their COVID-triggered anger. At the Rage Yard experience, participants will be allowed to release their anger by shooting, blowing up (with explosives) or driving a 61.7 ton tank over their vehicle. Brilliant!

I don’t know much about new Celtic Jeff Teague but have always liked new Celtic Tristan Thompson. Killer rebounder, especially on the offensive end. It will be refreshing to have a big man on the Celtics who doesn’t think he’s a 3-point shooter.

Al Michaels is 76 years old.

Good news: A 23-year old Amazon delivery driver in Florida pulled an elderly man from a burning house. He heard screams, ripped the front door off and found the man standing with his walker.

Do you ever just want to grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper, “no one gives a shit.”

Quote for the week: “No one has ever drowned in sweat.” – Lou Holtz

The Bruins are considering playing their home games at Fenway Park.

If you are a college hoop fan, or not, do what you can to catch #1 Gonzaga. Wow!

Talk about something to look forward to, Super Nintendo World opens in February with an interactive Mario Kart ride! Unfortunately for us, Super Nintendo World is located at Universal Studios in Japan.

The Celtics’ Kemba Walker had a stem cell injection in his knee. Now I don’t get out much but I thought stem cell treatment was only for diseases???

Speaking of the NFL, the Saints/Broncos game last weekend was a disgrace to the NFL. Denver never should have taken the field.

I was out milling around in the backyard mindlessly the other day and suddenly the answers to many of life’s problems came to me. I eventually went back into my house returned to life-in-general and focused again on other “things.” I thought back on the solutions I had conjured and they were gone, swept away by whatever brought them on in the first place. Now I go through life, waiting for the genius to come back to me…

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: UK health official says mask wearing in nation may persist for many years.

R.I.P. Rafer Johnson (86) – Dubbed the world’s greatest athlete in 1960, Johnson won the gold medal in the decathlon at the Olympic games in Rome in 1960. He was also the first Black American to be the flag bearer for the U.S. Olympic team. Among his many accomplishments later in life, Johnson co-founded the California Special Olympics and was selected to light the Olympic flame at the 1984 Los Angeles Olympic Games.

Trivia #1 answer: What NFL team has had zero COVID cases this season? – The Seattle Seahawks

Trivia #2 answer: Who is the winningest active NCAA D1 men’s basketball coach (by percentage) at .828? – Gonzaga’s Mark Few

Trivia #3 answer: UCLA has won the most NCAA men’s basketball tournaments with 11. What school is tied with them for the most appearances in the final game (12)? – The University of Kentucky

Trivia #4: The modern standard 52-card deck was developed in what country in the 1450’s? – France

Trivia #5: DK Metcalf is a receiver with the Seattle Seahawks. What does ‘DK’ stand for? –  His full name is DeKaylin Zecharius Metcalf

Be careful out there.

“Excuse my shoes they don’t quite fit
They’re a special offer and they hurt me a bit
Even my trousers are giving me pain
They were reduced in a sale so I shouldn’t complain
They squeeze me so tight so I can’t take no more
They’re size 28 but I take 34

I’m on a low budget
What did you say
I’m on a low budget
I thought you said that
I’m on a low budget
I’m a cut price person in a low budget land”

– The Kinks