Friday, April 2, 2021

Briefly.

I got a book the other day titled, “A Guide to Surgical Procedures.” I opened it up and the appendix was missing…

Trivia #1: Which of the following players did not finish in the top 10 in last November’s 2020 Masters tournament? – Cameron Smith, Mark Leishman, Rory McIlroy, Patrick Reed, Justin Thomas, Dustin Johnson, C.T. Pan

Trivia #2: Who is Jean Dolores Schmidt?

Trivia #3: What United States city hosts the Findley Market Day parade which marks the start of the major league baseball season, as well as the start of spring? – Cleveland, Oakland, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Cincinnati, Chicago, Houston

The Yankees are winless. Just sayin’.

The Masters kicks off next Thursday, April 8, right on schedule! The winner? How about Xander Schauffele?

Unfortunately, it is here to stay. What? Extra innings in MLB will start with a runner on second base. With an instant rally in place, viewership on MLB.tv of extra innings as much as doubled in 2020 compared to 2016-19, according to MLB figures. Also, extra inning games ended in the 10th inning 69% percent of the time last year, up from 46% in 2017-19.

Good news: In local good news, the Haverhill Exchange Club, in collaboration with the City of Haverhill, is planning something special for this Memorial Day, when it unveils throughout the downtown and on the Basiliere and Comeau bridges honoring veterans and people currently serving in the military. The 2×4 foot banners are very well constructed, I think, and the initiative is something that communities across the country are using to showcase their support for the brave men and women who have served and serve their country and local communities.

The NFL will play one fewer exhibition game from now on, good. It will also play a 17-game, regular season schedule, good (I think??)

Quote for the week: “When you practice intuitive eating, one of three things can happen: Your weight can go up, it can go down or it can stay the same” Valery Kallen, a registered dietitian and founder of Nourished Nutrition Therapy.  

Quote for the week, part deux: “Pretty good move for a guy the size of a Coke machine.” – Celtics’ play-by-play announcer, Mike Gorman on Zion Williamson

In his last three Opening Day games, the Red Sox’ new leadoff hitter, Kiki Hernandez has gone 6 for 10 with three homers and three walks.

Speaking of the Red Sox, how about 90 wins this season?

Remember: When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants so that it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips.

It was 50 years ago yesterday that the Rolling Stones (the World’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band) announced the new Rolling Stones record label as well as their iconic logo.

April Fools?? Now there are pranks and there is sheer stupidity. A 57-year old woman will be charged with disrupting public service and inducing a panic for calling her sister yesterday and saying something to the effect that a guy had been fired the day before and had come back to the office with a gun. She said everyone was hiding in a locked office and to call police. Well, she did call 911 and you can take it from there.

Fishing records are being broken in multiple states in record numbers. Jacob Bernhardt caught a 20.1 inch, 3.42 pound longnose sucker from the Missouri River in Montana. That is the 5th fishing record broken in Montana in less than a year. Last year in Idaho, more than two dozen catch and release records were reported.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Doubleheaders in MLB will be played with each game lasting only 7 innings, barring extras.

R.I.P. – G. Gordon Liddy (90) – A former FBI agent and Army veteran, was convicted of conspiracy, burglary and illegal wiretapping for his role in the Watergate burglary, which led to the resignation of President Richard Nixon.

Trivia #1 answer: Which of the following players did not finish in the top 10 in last November’s 2020 Masters tournament? – Cameron Smith, Mark Leishman, Rory McIlroy, Patrick Reed, Justin Thomas, Dustin Johnson, C.T. Pan – Mark Leishman (13th)

Trivia #2 answer: Who is Jean Dolores Schmidt? – She is Sister Jean, the 101-year old nun and team chaplain and #1 fan of the Loyola-Chicago men’s basketball team

Trivia #3: What United States city hosts the Findley Market Day parade which marks the start of the major league baseball season, as well as the start of spring? – Cleveland, Oakland, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Cincinnati, Chicago, Houston – Cincinnati

Be careful out there and “Play Ball!”

“Time can tear down a building or destroy a woman’s face
Hours are like diamonds, don’t let them waste
Time waits for no one, no favours has he
Time waits for no one, and it won’t wait for me”

– The Rolling Stones

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