Author: fasted86

Briefly. (not)

I said to myself, “Self.” (and I knew it was me cause I recognized my voice and I was wearing my underwear) “Today is going to be a good day.”

Trivia #1: Red Sox great Mo Vaughn attending what college?
Trivia #2: What outfielder had the most career putouts? – Hank Aaron, Willie Mays, Tris Speaker, Ty Cobb, Barry Bonds, Rickey Henderson, Mike Greenwell

For the record, I am not wearing a mask as I write this! Happy days!

My bad for not mentioning Jackie Robinson Day last week in MLB. Tributes were carried out all over baseball as team players all wore Robinson’s #42. At Fenway Park Mo Vaughn, who was the last player to wear #42, threw out the first pitch alongside his son. Vaughn began studying Robinson in college and after retirement, gave back to the community by renovating 1,000 housing units in New York including a development that Robinson had built.

Good news: Each MLB team is auctioning off a commemorative Jackie Robinson jersey autographed by the entire team. As of this morning the highest priced jersey was the Chicago White Sox at $7,110 and the lowest jersey was the Minnesota Twinkies at $710. Bidding ends Saturday at 8:00 PM EST and net proceeds benefit the Jackie Robinson Foundation.

Hey Kevin Durant, whatever that is on your chin, it’s ugly. Try cleaning yourself up a little.

Great tribute to Jerry Remy and his family on Wednesday, both live at Fenway before the game and earlier during an hour-long tribute on NESN. He had such a long battle with cancer and during that period his legend (Remdawg) just grew across Red Sox Nation. During his time announcing with Don Orsillo, it was must-see television.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Before the Red Sox/Toronto game the other night we were informed that Nathan Eovaldi was 4-4 lifetime against Toronto. What the hell does that tell us? No ERA, no run-support numbers, no hits/walks ratio, nothing! Useless!

And speaking of useless stats, here we go again. NESN gives us each teams’ fielding percentage each game. Nothing to compare these numbers to. Not average percentages from this season or any season, just a number. It’s these little things that make the neighbors wonder why I pound my head out on the pavement.

I was talking with friends of how we all used to lick the beaters whenever our mothers were baking. Turns out that all the other kids’ mothers first turned off the blender. Hey!

Speaking of Oakland… On Wednesday night the Athletics had the lowest non-COVID attendance (2,703) in 42 years (MLB). Seating capacity is 46,847. To boot, they lost 1-0 to the lowly Orioles. And it’s not the ticket prices discouraging fans from attending. Fans can get on Treehouse Plaza for $10.

Hey Marcus Smart, great pass last Sunday!

Article I’ll skip: Ireland Baldwin Calls Amber Heard ‘Disaster of a Human Being’ During Lawsuit

BTW, I wonder if this was once an actual conversation: “Ya Ma, I have a new girlfriend. She’s beautiful and a real sweetheart. Ya, she shit on my bed the other day. Isn’t that sweet!”

Is this the best stat EVA? On Monday, just before the Marathon Monday game between the Red Sox and Minnesota Twinkies, NESN announcer Dave Shea informed us that former Red Sox great and HOFer Jim Rice hit 382 homeruns in his career, plus another two postseason homeruns (384). I didn’t check the math myself but the total distance Rice ran around the bases for those 384 homeruns is 26.2 miles, a marathon.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Seriously, there are really too many to post.

UPS Tracking: “Your package is in X City, USA on a truck driven by Bob and will be at your door at 2:37pm”
FedEx: “Your package is somewhere. You’ll get it when we give it to you.”
USPS: “What package?”
Amazon: “We are inside your apartment…”

Trivia #1 answer: Red Sox great Mo Vaughn attending what college? – Seton Hall
Trivia #2 answer: What outfielder had the most career putouts? – Hank Aaron, Willie Mays, Tris Speaker, Ty Cobb, Barry Bonds, Rickey Henderson, Mike Greenwell – Willie Mays (7,095)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy Earth Day!

Speaking of Earth Day… Science has confirmed that the depletion of the ozone was largely due to all the hairspray used in the 80’s for those big-ass hairdos. You know who you are. Step up and acknowledge your guilt.

“Hey Nineteen
That’s ‘Retha Franklin
She don’t remember
The Queen of Soul
It’s hard times befallen
The Soul Survivors
She thinks I’m crazy
But I’m just growing old

Hey nineteen
No we got nothing in common
No we can’t talk at all
Please take me along
When you slide on down”

– Steely Dan

Briefly.

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by.

Trivia #1: Who has scored the most points in a single season for the Boston Celtics?
Trivia #2: In what year was the song “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” first published? – 1905, 1907, 1908, 1910, 1911, 1913
Trivia #3: Which of the following is NOT prohibited at Augusta National during the Masters? – Cell phones; wearing your hat/cap backwards; cameras during the practice rounds; selfie sticks; strollers; binoculars
Trivia #4: The USFL team from Birmingham is named what? – The Generals, The Bandits, The Panthers, The Stallions, The Maulers, The Breakers, The Hillies
Trivia #5: Why is the National Parks Service waving admission fees to all parks tomorrow, April 16?

It’s not Good Friday, it’s GREAT Friday!

Masters’ commentator Nick Faldo got roasted on social media for his reaction to Rory McIlroy holing out from the bunker on 18 at the Masters. Those watching the broadcast were watching Sheffler/Smith while Faldo said something to the likes of “Something incredible just happened on 18”. One tweet on Twitter read: “Nick Faldo probably gives away the Wordle answer every morning too…”

Try Wordle, cool online game. (As a public service, the best way to google something like “Wordle” is on google.com)

I can’t say that I own direct shares of Twitter but I hope you do!

Your Boston Celtics kick-off the playoff season on Sunday versus the Nets, from Brooklyn.

Good news: Pink Floyd is releasing its first new music in almost three decades to raise money for the people of Ukraine. The tune, “Hey Hey Rise Up” features vocals from Ukrainian singer Andriy Khlyvnyuk. Cool.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The NBA unveils reimagined NBA Finals script logo

Article I’ll skip: Prince Harry, Meghan Markle visit Queen Elizabeth together for the first time since leaving the UK

Say what? Draymond Green says the 2016 Warriors were the ‘best team ever’ despite losing in the Finals.

DYK: A Venice seagull problem led to squirt guns being distribution at high-end hotels? Yikes!

Article I think I will read: “Iowa pastor shares story of leaving his life in the adult film industry behind”

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Walt Disney World announced is most recent limited-time treat for adults – the “Boozy Bunny.” Available in Disney Springs at The Ganachery chocolate shop at Walt Disney World Resort near Orlando, this chocolate bunny is hollow on the inside, then punctured with a hole in the back. It’s then filled with a chocolate drink and topped off with bourbon for those who wish to add alcohol.

Now here’s a fun game: “Florida teen killed while friends were taking turns shooting one another in bulletproof vest”

Well, it’s 1 for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready, 4 for sales, 5 for customer service, or press 6 to hear these options again.

Trivia #1 answer: Who has scored the most points in a single season for the Boston Celtics? – John Havlicek (2,338)
Trivia #2 answer: In what year was the song “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” first published? – 1905, 1907, 1908, 1910, 1911, 1913 – 1908
Trivia #3 answer: Which of the following is NOT prohibited at Augusta National during the Masters? – Cell phones; wearing your hat/cap backwards; cameras during the practice rounds; selfie sticks; strollers; binoculars – Binoculars are not prohibited
Trivia #4 answer: The USFL team from Birmingham is named what? – The Generals, The Bandits, The Panthers, The Stallions, The Maulers, The Breakers, The Hillies – The Stallions
Trivia #5 answer: Why is the National Parks Service waving admission fees to all parks tomorrow, April 16? – Simply to kickoff National Parks Week – duh!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy Opening Day – Fenway Park – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnHV5FaqvEs

“Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out to the crowd;
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don’t care if I never get back.
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don’t win it’s a shame.
For it’s one, two, three strikes, you’re out,
At the old ball game.”

Briefly.

OK, March 17 has long since passed. Please resume to your normal nationality. See you all on May 5, when we’re all Mexican.

Trivia #1: Why is the “Green Jacket” presented to the winner at Augusta National?
Trivia #2: Who has held the most first, second or third round leads without winning a single Masters?
Trivia #3: Since 1960, Bruce Fleisher has gone the most years between Masters appearances (23). Which player is second and is playing this year? Bonus: How many years?
Trivia #4: Who is the oldest player to make the cut at Augusta?

Happy Opening Day, Red Sox fans!

Bob Uecker, 88, is heading towards his 52nd season calling Brewers games on radio, a job he plans to continue until he cannot do it anymore. He is coming off one of the most difficult periods in his life. It started back in October, when Uecker underwent a third knee surgery — a replacement of a previous replacement of his right knee. He then had two cancerous spots removed from his back. Then on March 11 his daughter Leann, whom Ueck and his wife Judy had been caring for, succumbed to ALS after a three-year battle.  I’m rooting for Ueck!

“He missed the tag!!!”

I’m not a fan of the DH. Having said that, I do like that yesterday the Angel’s Shohei Ohtani was removed from the game as a pitcher but was able to stay in the game as a DH.

The Red Sox will win 91 games this season.

Here in New England, I think the worst possible word used in a weather forecast is “raw.” I hate it when it’s raw.

I wish I had a gallery to stop some of my golf shots from going into the woods.

Speaking of which, I can’t believe it hasn’t happened yet but it’s going to. Someone is going to ping a spectator along standing out along the tee area. Like baseball, that will prompt “those people” to petition for nets and the way people watch golf will change. It’s going to happen.

Is Tom Watson not one of the classiest guys in all of sports?

“As Tiger Woods prepares to embark on another historical milestone to secure his sixth green jacket with a Masters win at Augusta National Golf Course this weekend, many fans of the power swinger will be watching along to see how his longtime girlfriend, Erica Herman, will be cheering him on to victory.” Ah no, not this guy.

Speaking of Tiger, one under yesterday. Impressive. He is in position to make the cut and then who knows. Should be fun.

It’s that time of the year, yes, the NFL draft and that means, Mel Kiper. Shoot me.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: President George W. Bush encouraged daughter Jenna Bush Hager to elope.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: The Red Sox play the Atlanta Braves again this season, home and away. Please, make it stop. No one cares.

Don’t miss out! U.S. residents have until April 18 to file their 2018 tax returns, which is the last day of the three-year window. Why am I mentioning this? The IRS revealed there is $1.5 billion in unclaimed tax refunds from 2018.

After North Carolina defeated Duke last Saturday, the cheapest tickets for the championship game on Monday dropped from $130 to $30.

Welcome to spring in New England where whatever coat you grab on the way out of the house, it’s the wrong one.

No, I wasn’t rooting for the UConn women in the NCAA basketball tournament. I imagine fans of teams other than the Patriots feel the same way. You’ve won your championships, now go away.

Article I’ll skip: Will Smith Oscar crisis handled by inner circle fighting to save the actor’s brand.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The College of the Holy Cross announced on Monday that its science complex will be formally known as the Anthony S. Fauci Integrated Science Complex starting on June 11, a date that coincides with Dr. Fauci’s 60th class reunion weekend.

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries and Eminen. I call it my trail mix.

Trivia #1 answer: Why is the “Green Jacket” presented to the winner at Augusta National? – The tradition of the Green Jacket at Augusta National Golf Club dates to 1937. That year, members of the club wore green jackets during the tournament so that fans in attendance could easily spot them if they needed to ask questions.
Trivia #2: Who has held the most first, second or third round leads without winning a single Masters? – Justin Rose
Trivia #3: Since 1960, Bruce Fleisher has gone the most years between Masters appearances (23). Which player is second and is playing this year? Bonus: How many years? – Luke List (17 years between Masters starts)
Trivia #4: Who is the oldest player to make the cut at Augusta? – Bernhard Langer (63 in 2020)

Happy National Empanada Day! (It’s Opening Day. I’ll settle for a hotdog)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Of all the things I value most in life
I see my memories and feel their warmth
And know that they are good
You know that I should”

– Black Sabbath

Briefly. (Have to get to the beach, you know)

Autopsy Club meeting Saturday. Open Mike Night. (It sucks to be Mike)

Trivia #1: You might be familiar with the term “neat” when it comes to ordering an alcoholic beverage. It means the alcohol, most popular being brandy or whiskey, is served straight up, no ice, not chilled, nothing added. Then there is the NEAT glass advertised as the best sprits glass available. What does NEAT stand for?
Trivia #2: What MLB catcher has caught the most games over the past three season?
Trivia #3: Which city hosted the most NCAA Division I men’s basketball championship games in the 20th century? – Kansas City, Indianapolis, Houston, Jacksonville, Miami, New Orleans, Lowell
Trivia #4: What was the last school to win back-to-back Division 1 men’s basketball championships? – USC, Texas, Florida, UCLA, Duke, North Carolina, Kentucky, Northern Essex

April Fools’! Some historians speculate that April Fools’ Day dates back to 1582, when France switched from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar, as called for by the Council of Trent in 1563. In the Julian Calendar, as in the Hindu calendar, the new year began with the spring equinox around April 1. People who were slow to get the news or failed to recognize that the start of the new year had moved to January 1 and continued to celebrate it during the last week of March through April 1 became the butt of jokes and hoaxes and were called “April fools.” These pranks included having paper fish placed on their backs and being referred to as “poisson d’avril” (April fish), said to symbolize a young, easily caught fish and a gullible person. Hey, I here to educate.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: See above

April really is the nuts though in terms of the greatest sports month. You have the Masters, NFL Draft, MLB Opening Day, NBA Playoffs (if you care), NCAA Basketball Championship(s), NCAA Hockey Championship, NHL Playoffs (OK, you have until May).

Tomorrow night’s North Carolina/Duke game is about as good theater as you can get. Tune in!

Overall on the Final Four? As mentioned previously, a Duke championship would be an incredible story with the whole ‘Coach K Thing’, but give me North Carolina as just the second #8 seed (lowest) to win it all.

As you saw in last week’s Friday blog, I’ve been on a bit of a Jackson Browne kick lately. Great talent, some outstanding tunes. Had I any talent back in the day, I never could have pulled off singing Browne’s “Running On Empty.” I mean: “In ’69, I was 6 and called the road my own…” Just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Article I’ll skip: Whoopie Goldberg goes off on ‘View’ co-host for slight against ‘Hollywood Elite’: ‘It really pisses me off’

Some Saint Bonaventure fans had a difficult time getting to the men’s basketball team’s semifinal game at MSG on Tuesday night. One bus caught fire, another lost its emergency hatch and later broke down and a third was pulled over state troopers. To make matter worse the Bonnies got crushed by Xavier.

There is no good breakfast bar. You now, when you’re running out the door in the morning but you need “something” quick in your stomach, something you can eat while driving? There are so many choices for breakfast bars but I think they all suck.

JetBlue Airlines advertises that their planes are equipped with hospital-grade HEPA filters that remove 99.97% of particles, bacteria and viruses. Oh, so .03% is the reason to continue to wear a mask? Sheer buffoonery!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A restaurant in France claims it was threatened by patrons who thought poutine, its signature dish, was named after Putin.

You know gas prices are high when the guy in the lifted truck isn’t revving his engine at Walmart during mating season.

Trivia #1 answer: You might be familiar with the term “neat” when it comes to ordering an alcoholic beverage. It means the alcohol, most popular being brandy or whiskey, is served straight up, no ice, not chilled, nothing added. Then there is the NEAT glass advertised as the best sprits glass available. What does NEAT stand for? – Naturally Engineered Aroma Technology
Trivia #2 answer: What MLB catcher has caught the most games over the past three season? – The Red Sox Christian Vasquez. MLB ran a list of the most underrated players at each position heading into the 2022 season and Vasquez was named for catchers.
Trivia #3 answer: Which city hosted the most NCAA Division I championship games in the 20th century? – Kansas City, Indianapolis, Houston, Jacksonville, Miami, New Orleans, Lowell – Kansas City
Trivia #4 answer: What was the last school to win back-to-back Division 1 men’s basketball championships? – USC, Texas, Florida, UCLA, Duke, North Carolina, Kentucky, Northern Essex – Florida (2006 & 2007)

Happy National Sourdough Bread Day!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo
You’re living in you own Private Idaho
Living in your own Private Idaho
Underground like a wild potato.
Don’t go on the patio.
Beware of the pool,
blue bottomless pool.
It leads you straight
right through the gate
that opens the pool.

You’re living in your own Private Idaho.
You’re living in your own Private Idaho.

– The B-52’s

Thought I was going to go all Jackson Browne on you, didn’t you? Not sure where my head is at today…

Briefly. (Have to get to the beach, you know)

Fun fact: A majority of archeologists are women due to their natural ability to dig up the past.

Trivia #1: What was the first school to have 20 Final Four appearances? – North Carolina, Gonzaga, UCLA, Kentucky, Duke, San Francisco, Northern Essex Community College
Trivia #2: What player holds the NCAA men’s tournament record for scoring in a single game? – Elvin Hayes, Bill Bradley, Michael Jordan, Austin Carr, Christian Laettner, Lew Alcindor

Research kills cancer.

Article I’ll skip: “As Saint Peter’s readies for Sweet 16, sport psychologist reveals why fans are rooting for the Peacocks” – Let me summarize the article that I didn’t read. People are rooting for the Peacocks because a) they are a 15 seed and b) they knocked off Kentucky.

The Providence Friars men’s basketball team traveled to Chicago for their Sweet 16 matchup with Kansas in the New England Patriot’s team jet. Cool for them.

I was on a hike and saw a sign that read “such-n-such – 6/10’s miles.” Being the wise-ass that I am, I said to my wife; “why don’t they just say 3/5’s miles?” Being the math teacher that she is, Kathy responded; “Because most people wouldn’t understand 3/5’s.” After a brief discussion we both realized that, unfortunately, she was probably correct.

The NFL’s AFC continues to get better. Yes, Tyreek Hill is still in the conference but now bolstering the Miami Dolphins offense. Along with Jaylen Waddle, Tua Tagovailoa (sp? – who cares) now has two legitimate weapons. I’m not sure if the Patriots signing of Malcolm Butler cures this dilemma…

Best T-shirt seen recently, on an 80-something year old guy: “It’s not a bald spot, it’s a solar panel for a sex machine.”

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: LeBron James is the 6^th player with three or more triple-doubles against his former team. Useless information.

The Boston Celtics continue to roll. Do you believe?

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Article title: Virginia judge says parents of 12 immunocompromised kids can ask schools to require masks.

Trivia #1 answer: What was the first school to have 20 Final Four appearances? – North Carolina, Gonzaga, UCLA, Kentucky, Duke, San Francisco, Northern Essex Community College – North Carolina
Trivia #2 answer: What player holds the NCAA men’s tournament record for scoring in a single game? – Elvin Hayes, Bill Bradley, Michael Jordan, Austin Carr, Christian Laettner, Lew Alcindor – Austin Carr, Notre Dame (61 vs. Ohio in 1970)

Have a crazy good day!

Happy National Lobster Newburg Day!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Doctor, my eyes have seen the years
And the slow parade of fears without crying
Now I want to understand

I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good without hiding
You must help me if you can

Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise to leave them open for so long”

– Jackson Browne

Briefly. (Have to get to the beach, you know)

Gas prices have skyrocketed so I am forced to again sell nudes. $5 to get one, $25 to not get one.

Trivia #1: What broadcaster is credited with associating the term “March Madness” with the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament?
Trivia #2: In 1940, Indiana University won the NCAA men’s tournament title under coach Emmett “Branch” McCracken. He is the youngest coach to win the title, at wht age? – 27, 30, 31, 33, 35, 39

And away we go! Two 12 seeds knock off 5 seeds and #15 St. Peter’s beats #2 Kentucky. Who around these parts, and elsewhere, didn’t like John Calipari during his run with UMass back in the late 80’s, early 90’s? Having said that I had no problem watching his Kentucky Wildcats go down last night. See ya!

My brackets? As if you care, one is trash, the other arguably had early potential.

As stated previously, often, I’m not a Duke fan but what a story that would be if Coach K goes out on top.

I want to get lost in your rock n roll and drift away…

Listerine claims it kills 99.9% of germs that cause bad breath, plaque and gingivitis. Why is there not mass hysteria about that .1% that even Listerine can’t kill?

Article I’ll skip: Mark Ruffalo, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Stiller and more sign letter protesting Canada Gas Pipeline. “Oh, Leonardo signed it, well!!!!” Please…

Go away, Tom Brady. I’ve always been a big fan and appreciate all that he has done in New England, but go away and stop with this Brett Favre bullshit. It’s embarrassing.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Minnesota Viking’s quarterback Kirk Cousins, that’s right Kirk Cousins, signed a $35M contract for the upcoming season, every penny of which is guaranteed.

I’ll admit I watch my use of toilet paper since the pandemic. I just do. But let me tell you, when on vacation the paper comes off that roll like there’s no tomorrow!

I sneezed while eating alphabet soup, took the words right out of my mouth.

Trivia #1 answer: What broadcaster is credited with associating the term “March Madness” with the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament? – Brent Musberger
Trivia #2: In 1940, Indiana University won the NCAA men’s tournament title under coach Emmett “Branch” McCracken. He is the youngest coach to win the title, at what age? – 27, 30, 31, 33, 35, 39 – He was 31

Happy Awkward Moments Day! (Now, this should be fun!)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“I’ve been to
Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota,
Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota,
Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma,
Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, La Paloma,
Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo,
Tocopilla, Barranquilla, and Padilla, I’m a killer.

I’ve been everywhere, man.
I’ve been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert’s bare, man.
I’ve breathed the mountain air, man.
Of travel I’ve a-had my share, man.
I’ve been everywhere.

(Not so) Briefly.

I’m glad I learned about parallelograms in high school math instead of how to do my taxes. It comes in so handy during parallelogram season.

Trivia #1: In what year was te granddaddy of all U.S. highways, Route 66, established? – 1923, 1924, 1926, 1928, 1931, 2011
Trivia #2: What is the mascot of Bellarmine University? Bonus: Where is the school located?
Trivia #3: What is the nickname for Furman University?
Trivia #4: What is a “Paladin?”

So it happened, and baseball is back! Ya, I’m still ticked off at both sides but I love the game and now the season will go on, apparently in its entirety. Both MLB and the Players Association need to sign off on the deal, but right now Opening Day is slated for April 7.

But really, folks. Saturday night we turn the clocks back and spring begins. Selection Sunday is this weekend and bracket-filling will soon follow. It is a glorious time of the year.

Remember, there was a time when we all chipped in $2 for beer and $1 for gas? That $1 for gas today wouldn’t get us around the block.

Speaking of college hoops, although I really don’t like Duke men’s basketball, I do respect coach K. Back to my now liking Duke (hater), seeing the team lose to UNC last Sunday in what was coach K’s last home game, really didn’t bother me. You might even say I was elated.

Chew on this: If Malcolm Butler doesn’t make that pick in the endzone, incredibly denying Seattle a Super Bowl win, does Russell Wilson get traded or would he have had more value to the franchise?

Speaking of NFL trades, how is former New England Patriot offensive coordinator Josh McDaniel feeling these days? Now the coach of the AFC West Las Vegas Raiders, he now has to face, twice per season, Patrick Mahomes, Russell Wilson, Justin Herbert and Kahil Mack.

Article I’ll skip: “Colin Kaepernick ‘still working’ in hopes of landing NFL job”

Go away, Syracuse men’s basketball coach Jim Boeheim. As their season ended yesterday with a 16-17 record, Boeheim’s first losing season in his 46 years, he still insists his son Buddy was wrongfully suspended after punching a Florida State player in the stomach on Wednesday. Arrogant prick.

Go away, part deux, John Kerry. Again, downplaying the crisis in Ukraine; “…while the Ukraine refugee crisis is a “problem” amid Russia’s invasion, it pales in comparison to the wave of migration that will come if climate change is not addressed.” Priorities, John, priorities.

There is the “agony of defeat” and then there is Furman University’s loss to Chattanooga in the SoCon tournament final this past week. Look it up.

People often stop me in the street, I never walk in the street, and ask: “Gee whiz, Ed. What is Tim Tebow selling these days?” – Tim’s new book is out “Mission Possible.” Says the former two-time national football campion, Heisman trophy winner, first-round NFL pick, former pro baseball player and ESPN contributor, “I believe that it is possible for every single one of us to have, to truly have, a life that counts. God created each of us to have a unique, awesome purpose, and it’s why we’re here.”

Believe it or not, the Boston Celtics sit atop CBS Sports’ NBA power rankings. Really.

DYK: Jayson Tatum/Kobe Bryant points, first 350 games, 24 or younger Jayson Tatum – 7,183 Kobe Bryant – 6,610. What does that mean, nothing really, other than Jason Tatum is pretty good.

Speaking of the Bruins, my “website of the week” is stanleycupofchowder.com. Check it out for all things Bruins.

Now that’s just stupid. Bellarmine University was promoted from Division II to Division 1 and its men’s basketball team won the Atlantic Sun conference’s tournament final, a victory which usually comes with the conference’s automatic bid to the NCAA tournament. However, the NCAA does not allow teams to play in postseason tournaments until their fifth season at the D-1 level. Now I can see that if they moved down a division, but up? I don’t get it.

Using a bad analogy can make you look like you aren’t the sharpest knife on the tree.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Well, Putin is still targeting civilians.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: Massachusetts DPH is set report new numbers regarding COVID-19 deaths that are 15% fewer than previously reported.

Russell Westbrook Westbrick, now that’s funny. What’s even funnier, at least to me, is that he genuinely hates the nickname and is speaking out. Lighten up, Rusty!

They said it: “If the audience doesn’t like it, that’s the f*n audience’s problem.” – Andrew Dominik, director of the upcoming Marilyn Monroe biopic, defending the film’s NC-17 rating.

Trivia #1 answer: In what year was granddaddy of all U.S. highways, Route 66, established? – 1923, 1924, 1926, 1928, 1931, 2011 – 1926
Trivia #2 answer: What is the mascot of Bellarmine University? Bonus: Where is the school located? – The Knights. The Catholic school is located in Louisville.
Trivia #3 answer: What is the nickname for Furman University? – The Paladins
Trivia #4 answer: What is a “Paladin?” – The Paladins are twelve fictional knights of legend, the foremost members of Charlemagne’s court in the 8th century. Or, a knight renowned for heroism and chivalry.

Happy ‘National Funeral Director and Mortician Recognition’ Day!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“And even though we ain’t got money
I’m so in love with you, honey
And everything will bring a chain of love
And in the morning, when I rise
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright”

– Loggins & Messina

Briefly.

What more can one say about Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky? A hero, a true leader of his people. He and all Ukrainians have been more than inspiring. We, speaking for all of us, pray for them.

One day I hope to be wealthy enough to not do a double take every time I see abandoned furniture on the side of the road.

Trivia #1: Clint Eastwood was drafted into the Korean War, Army, and served as what while training at Fort Ord in California: Lifeguard, wrestler, boxer, line cook, actor, photographer
Trivia #2: Zdeno Chara has now played more NHL games than any other defenseman. Which of the following is NOT in the top five? – Ray Bourque, Nicklas Lindstrom, Scott Stevens, Chris Chelios, Larry Murphy

MLB, and its players, suck. There are arguments for siding with the players in this lockout fiasco but let’ face it, they are all greedy, both sides, and that is always the bottom line. Now I am not on either side but… here’s an argument. The minimum salary for MLB is $575,000. The NBA – $925,258, NHL – $750,000, NFL $660,000. Now, back in 2012, MLB – $480,000 was the minimum, NFL – $390,000, NBA – $473,604, NHL – $525,000.

I’ve been bogie-free for more than four months!

Every time that I look in the mirror, all these lines on my face getting clearer… Said no one, ever.

Chew on this: In his first 33 career games, Bruins’ goalie Jeremy Swayman is #1, since 1930, in save % – .931 and GAA (goals against average) – 1.87.

Article I’ll skip: Tim Allen says Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is ‘definition of wrong’; ‘Full of anger and disgust’ – Tim Allen??? Who gives half a crap what he or any other actor/actress has to say about that topic?

Speaking of the Celtics, they are (had been) streaking. Before losing on the road last Sunday, The Celtics had won 7 straight road games by 9 or more points. The team never had more than 6.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The High Place Food Hall, Boston, opened this past week after a two-year delay due to the pandemic. The food hall features a champagne vending machine, pizza, a cocktail bar, coffee, burgers, a raw bar, sushi, donuts, gelato and more, and is now open following the lifting of the state’s mask mandate and vaccine mandate. Boston mayor Michelle Wu was there for the ribbon cutting ceremony, wearing a mask. DOH!

In case you hadn’t heard, the Super Bowl champion Rams’ wide receiver Van Jefferson’s wife gave birth to a son on this past Super Bowl Sunday. They named the boy ‘Champ.’

They said it: “A war is the last thing you need with respect to a united effort to try to deal with the climate challenge” – John Kerry. Priorities, folks.

Headline of the week: Airbnb is suspending all operations in Russia and Belarus – Ah, are they getting a lot of requests???

Volodymyr Zelensky – hero

Trivia #1 answer: Clint Eastwood was drafted into the Korean War, Army, and served as what while training at Fort Ord in California: Lifeguard, wrestler, boxer, line cook, actor, photographer – He was a lifeguard/swimming instructor
Trivia #2: Zdeno Chara has now played more NHL games than any other defenseman. Which of the following is NOT in the top five? – Ray Bourque, Nicklas Lindstrom, Scott Stevens, Chris Chelios, Larry Murphy – Nicklas Lindstrom (#6)

Happy ‘National Day of Unplugging’ – as you all read this on various devices…

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“I, I can remember (I remember)
Standing by the wall (by the wall)
And the guns shot above our heads (over our heads)
And we kissed as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall)

And the shame was on the other side
Oh, we can beat them forever and ever
Then we could be heroes, just for one day”

– David Bowie

Briefly.

May God, or whomever it is that you call out to, save us all.

Trivia #1: Going back to Monday, President’s Day. What sport did all of the following U.S. Presidents (Roosevelt, Eisenhower, George W, George H. W.) participate in – football, wrestling, cheerleading, baseball, boxing, swimming, rugby
Trivia #2: Playing only in the 1745-1975 seasons for the Oakland Athletics, what position was listed on the front of Herb Washington’s baseball card?
Trivia #3: What is the first element on the periodic table? – No hint. Either you know it or you don’t

Some people outgrow childhood shenanigans. Some of us master them.

Article I’ll skip: ANY concerning Aaron Rodgers. Add Antonio Brown to that list as well. “AB?” How about “A-hole!”

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The ink, coating films and the paperboard on which scratch tickets are printed are all nontoxic, nonhazardous, recyclable and biodegradable. It is a silicone, or wax-based, nonadhesive material that is tested and meets federal Environmental Protection Agency standards. Do you feel better now?

The debate rages on about whether it is fair for transgender females to compete against biological females. I don’t understand the argument and the recent Ivy Leagues swimming championships were a pretty good example where such athletes not only won their events, they broke records and dominated.

Quote for the week: “You know what they say? Blues musicians play 3 notes in front of 10,000 people, jazz musicians play 1,000 notes in front of 3 people.” – Steven Stills

They are one person
They are two alone
They are three together
They are for each other

A 41-year-old man, his 31-yeard-old wife, 1-year-old daughter and their dog were found dead on a hiking trail this past August near the Merced River in the Sierra National Forest. They were found more than 1.5 miles from where their vehicle was parked and had run out of water where the temperatures were as high as 109 degrees Fahrenheit, in an area with little shade. What are we thinking folks?!

Brittany Spears inked a contract with publisher Simon & Schuster valued at more than $15 million dollars. Some things are starting to make sense to me now.

Headline of the week: “Minnesota shooting outside funeral home leaves 1 man dead, 3 others injured” – OK, help me out. Doesn’t the shooting outside the funeral home leave 2 dead?

Thank God for the PGA! Last Sunday afternoon, my viewing choices were the NBA All Star game, some NAZCAR race, Bull Riding, the Olympics and the Genesis Invitational golf tournament. Saved!

Speaking of the PGA, where is the respect? Once known as a “Gentlemen’s Game” now sees the likes of Justin Thomas… wearing a hoodie.

Speaking of bull riding, the guy who chases down the bull after the bull throws the rider. Who wants THAT job?!

National Floors Direct boasts the following on their television advertisements: “We’ll beat anyone’s price by 15%, or it’s free!” – Think about that. Do they think we are all idiots? Here’s an assumed dialogue: “I saw your quote. I’m sorry but we can’t beat that price by 15% so we’ll just do the job for nothing.”

The 27 NBA players picked originally or via injury for the 2022 All-Star teams will make in salary, just this season – $741,569,672 total or $27,465,543 per player. Not a bad gig, if you can get it

Congratulations to the Haverhill High School basketball and hockey programs, both qualifying for post-season tournaments after both programs came in with less than promising preseason aspirations. Hillie pride!

I am intrigued by the Biathlon, the sport that combines cross-country skiing and target shooting with rifles. Who came up with THAT combo? How about an alternative “sport?” How about distance running and ax-throwing? Fly fishing and rock-skipping?

Speaking of the Olympics, Finland’s cross-country skier Remi Lindholm suffered a frozen penis in the 50km mass start race. Hmmm. Good thing he wasn’t competing in the biathlon, huh? It would have been pretty uncomfortable lying down with his rifle for the shooting aspect.

Trivia #1 answer: Going back to Monday, President’s Day. What sport did all of the following U.S. Presidents (Roosevelt, Eisenhower, George W, George H. W.) participate in – football, wrestling, cheerleading, baseball, boxing, swimming, rugby– They were all sports cheerleaders
Trivia #2 answer: Playing only in the 1745-1975 seasons for the Oakland Athletics, what position was listed on the front of Herb Washington’s baseball card? – “Pinch Run”
Trivia #3: What is the first element on the periodic table? – No hint. Either you know it or you don’t – Hydrogen (H)

Happy New England Clam Chowder Day!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Forgive me if my fantasies might seem a little shopwarn
I’ve sure you’ve heard it all before I wonder what’s the right form
Love songs written for you it’s been going down for years
But to sing what’s in my heart seems more honest than the tears

I am curious
Don’t want to hurry us
I’m intrigued with us
Ain’t this song a bust
I don’t care dark star”

p- Crosby, Stills & Nash

Briefly.

With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it’s only a matter of time until there’s a country song where a guy’s truck leaves him.

Trivia #1: Who of the following is NOT in the Beanpot Hall of Fame? – Jerry York (BC), Herb Wakabayashi (BU), Bob Sweeney (BC), Jack Parker (BU), Dan McGillis (NU), Lane McDonald (HU), Joe Cavanagh (HU)
Trivia #2: Who is Sofia Jirau?
Trivia #3: Who is the NHL’s all-time leader in overtime goals? – Wayne Gretzky, Brad Marchand, Sidney Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin, Jaromir Jagr, Sergei Fedorov, Mario Lemieux
Trivia #4: What college did the Rams’ Cooper Kupp attend? Bonus: What is the school’s mascot?
Trivia #5: (5, I know…) What team has the #1 pick in the upcoming USFL draft? – Birmingham Stallions, Philadelphia Stars, Michigan Panthers, Houston Gamblers, Lawrence Convicts

Maybe you know one, maybe you are one, but bear with me. Meteorologists suck. I mean does anyone hold these buffoons accountable?

The Winter Olympics are still going on. Norway has won a ton of medals.

Funny how, this year, Valentine’s Day fell the day after the football season ended. “Honey, I love you… now that football is over…”

5-star football recruit AJ Vinatieri, son of Patriots/Colts stardom, passed up scholarship offers from the likes of LSU and Indiana and will attend UMass Amherst. Cool (for us locals, that is)

Why is it that I take such pleasure in the misfortunes of others? Not only do I root for a crash in all those NAZCAR races that I don’t watch, but give me a good wreck when watching Olympic speed skating, downhill racing or luge/bobsled/skeleton. “The thrill of victory… and the agony of defeat!”

Yes, I know how to spell “NASCAR.” Above is simply an insult to those who refer to it as “sport.”

An 8-year-old kid asked me if Bingo is the name of a farmer or a dog and now I am questioning everything I thought I knew about life.

It looks as though MLB spring training is, at the very least, delayed for this season. The sides met yesterday for all but 15 minutes without progress. 15 minutes?! I have longer conversation with the paperboy!

To each his own, I guess. Prior to his execution in Oklahoma, Gilbert Ray Postelle’s (35) last meal included 20 chicken nuggets and an assortment of dipping sauces, three large fries with ketchup, a crispy chicken sandwich, a large cola and a caramel frappe.

Along those same lines, said the death-row prison guard to the woman on death row; “What do you want for your last meal?” Said the woman: “I don’t know, what do you want?”

Virginia’s Reece Beekman’s three-pointer with 1.1 seconds remaining to beat Duke Monday night should get you excited for next month’s NCAA men’s basketball tournament. It’s right around the corner!

Speaking of which, daylight savings (as much as I think it’s a farce) is three weeks from tomorrow!

Article I’ll skip: Tony Robbins gets real about success in life and health: ‘Just thinking positive is B.S.” – I am using the word “buffoon” again this week.

The Rams won the Super Bowl… or did the Cincinnati Bengals just lose? The Bungals had zero turnovers and scored just three points off the Rams two turnovers. The Bungals were sacked 7 times, punted on four straight 2^nd half possessions and just couldn’t stop the Rams on their final drive. The Bungals lost.

Quote for the week: “Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.” – Victor Hugo

OK I have to at least give tennis star Novak Djokovic credit. He refuses to get vaccinated for COVID-19 and his decision led to his being deported from Australia and missing the Australian Open and now he will miss the French Open for the same reason. Said Djokovic: “It’s the price I’m willing to pay.”

Father Andres Arango resigned from St. Gregory Catholic Church in Phoenix after it was determined he incorrectly performed thousands of baptisms for decades by changing one word. He used the words “We baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,” instead of the correct phrase “I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Apparently, the issue with using ‘We’ is that it is not the community that baptizes a person, rather, it is Christ, and Him alone, who presides at all of the sacraments, and so it is Christ Jesus who baptizes. Says one of those incorrectly baptized – “Now what??”

Trivia #1 answer: Who of the following is NOT in the Beanpot Hall of Fame? – Jerry York (BC), Herb Wakabayashi (BU), Bob Sweeney (BC), Jack Parker (BU), Dan McGillis (NU), Lane McDonald (HU), Joe Cavanagh (HU) – Sorry, they are all in the Beanpot HOF
Trivia #2 answer: Who is Sofia Jirau? – Sofia appeared in Victoria Secret’s Love Cloud Collection, which was put together to highlight diversity and inclusion. Sofia is the lingerie brand’s first model with Down Syndrone.
Trivia #3 answer: Who is the NHL’s all-time leader in overtime goals? – Wayne Gretzky, Brad Marchand, Sidney Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin, Jaromir Jagr, Sergei Fedorov, Mario Lemieux – Alexander Ovechkin (24). DYK: Wayne Gretzky had only 2 OT goals!!!
Trivia #4 answer: What college did the Rams’ Cooper Kupp attend? Bonus: What is the school’s mascot? – Eastern Washington University. Mascot – The Eagles
Trivia #5 answer: What team has the #1 pick in the upcoming USFL draft? – Birmingham Stallions, Philadelphia Stars, Michigan Panthers, Houston Gamblers, Lawrence Convicts – The Michigan Panthers

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“See, don’t ever set me free
I always wanna be by your side
Girl, you really got me now
You got me so I can’t sleep at night

Yeah, you really got me now
You got me so I don’t know what I’m doin’, now
Oh yeah, you really got me now
You got me so I can’t sleep at night

You really got me
You really got me
You really got me

– The Kinks