Briefly.
Your brain at 3AM: I can see you’re trying to sleep, so I would like to offer you a selection of every memory, unresolved issue, mistake, or thing you should have said or done yesterday or in the past 40 years!
Please, pardon my recent mistakes in trivia questions. (Ya, like I give a shit.)
Trivia #1: Is it St. Patty’s Day or St. Paddy’s Day?
Trivia #2: According to the Guinness Book of World Records, what’s the highest number of leaves ever recorded on a single clover stem? – 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 63.
Trivia #3: What is the term for a young Irish woman or girl? – Lad, Lady, Catherine, Colleen, Ruby, Lass, Maeve
Trivia #4: On what instrument do you play piobaireachd music?
Trivia #5: According to folklore, what’s a leprechaun’s occupation? – Blacksmith, Shoemaker, Carpenter, Poet, Farmer, Locksmith
Trivia #6: St. Patrick was known to wear what color, Green, Blue, Gold, Yellow, Orange, Purple, Red, Sky-blue-pink
Stop complaining: New details have emerged in the shocking story of a 32-year-of a Connecticut man allegedly held captive in a single room by his father and stepmother for 20 years. While receiving medical care after the fire he lit inside his own home, the 32-year-old said he had been held captive in the home since he was 11 years old. Subsequent arrest warrants revealed the man was locked inside a room nearly 24 hours each day without heat or air conditioning. He was also provided two sandwiches and two bottles of water on a daily basis, which he rationed for soapless baths.
On this date: March 14, 1743, the 1st American town meeting is held in Boston’s Faneuil Hall
March 14, 1794, Eli Whitney patents the cotton gin machine revolutionizing the cotton industry in the southern US states
March 14, 1880, the Salvation Army of England starts work in the US at Harry Hill’s Variety Theatre in NYC
March 14, 1923, US President Warren G. Harding becomes 1st president to pay taxes.
March 14, 1972, Muddy Waters wins his first Grammy Award, for his album “They Call Me Muddy Waters”
March 14, 2018, NASA twin study finds that Scott Kelly is no longer identical to his twin brother after one year in space, 7% of his genes altered. Wowza!
Go away: Aaron Rodgers, get off my television. (Repeat offender)
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Boston Celtics took 63 (63!) three-point shots the other night, going 5-27 in the second half. Yawn.
They said it: “My ma urged me to get out of this game. When I was a kid, she pleaded with me. And I meant to, you know what I mean? But she died. Now look at me. I’m wet nurse to a last-place, dead-to-the-neck-up ball club, and I’m choking to death!” – Pop Fisher (Wilfred Brimley), manager of the New York Knights in the movie “The Natural.”
Good news: For NFL quarterback Gardner Minshew, that is. Minshew, who started nine games for the Las Vegas Raiders in 2024, signed a one-year deal with the Kansas City Chiefs. Minshew signed a two-year, $25 million contract last offseason to battle for the starting role with the Raiders.
He may be too hurt to golf, but apparently Tiger Woods is still at it, reportedly dating the president’s former daughter-in-law, Vanessa Trump.
Again folks, it’s not complicated. Put on your directional and then use your brakes. Argh!
Tragic… NOT! The Yankees’ ace pitcher Gerrit Cole is to undergo season-ending Tommy John surgery.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: “Pi” has been calculated to over 62.8 trillion digits.
Did you catch the high school track star bashing her opponent in the head with the baton during a recent relay race? She’s been charged with assault and battery. Bitch.
Article I’ll skip: Vanna White details surprising number of days she gets off each year on ‘Wheel of Fortune.’
Article I’ll skip, part deux: 9 must-have March Madness party supplies
Trivia #1 answer: Is it St. Patty’s Day or St. Paddy’s Day? – St. Paddy. Pádraig is the Gaelic or Irish origin of the name Patrick, which is colloquially shortened to Paddy, hence the abbreviation, St. Paddy’s Day.
Trivia #2 answer: According to the Guinness Book of World Records, What’s the highest number of leaves ever recorded on a single clover stem? – 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 63. – It is 63. That’s a lot of luck!
Trivia #3: What is the term for a young Irish woman or girl? – Lad, Lady, Cathrine, Colleen, Ruby, Lass, Maeve – Colleen
Trivia #4: On what instrument do you play piobaireachd music? – The bagpipe
Trivia #5: According to folklore, what’s a leprechaun’s occupation? – Blacksmith, Shoemaker, Carpenter, Poet, Farmer, Locksmith – He’s a Shoemaker
Trivia #6: St. Patrick was known to wear what color, Green, Blue, Gold, Yellow, Orange, Purple, Red, Sky-blue-pink – Blue
If your wife is mad at you, buy a new fishing pole… She’ll still be mad at you, but you’ll have a new fishing pole.
I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to a three-day, St. Patrick’s Day bender. Enjoy.
“To all the days here and after, may they be filled with fond memories, happiness and laughter.”
Live, every day.
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!) Like a midget at a urinal, stay on your toes!
Happy National Pi Day!
“When Irish eyes are smiling
Sure, ’tis like the morning Spring
In the lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing
When Irish hearts are happy
All the world seems bright and gay
What when Irish eyes are smiling
Sure, they steal your heart away”
– The Irish Tenors (When Irish Eyes Are Smiling)
Bonus track!
Ed's Head On Friday 