Briefly.
I am alive and I am well and I am taking a day off.
May we all have a righteous day!
For you, a toast:
Here’s to a long life and a happy one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold beer and another one!
Be careful out there, it’s a jungle.
Briefly.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.
Trivia #1: What was Ted Williams’ lowest batting average in 1941 when he finished the season over .400? – .000, .250, .295, .308, .324, .333
Trivia #2: How many 1,000 yard receiving seasons did the Steelers’ Lynn Swan have in his career? – 0,1,2,3,4,5,6
Trivia #3: Which of the following was NOT a prior name for the current Atlanta Braves baseball team? – Milwaukee Braves, Boston Braves, Boston Bees, Boston Doves, Boston Nationals, Boston Reds
Trivia #4: Who is Oluwafemi Oladejo?
Trivia #5: What is the nickname for Roger Williams University? – Goats, Hawks, Panthers, Wildcats, Warriors, Flames, Kings
On this date: May 2, 1878, US stops minting 20 cent coin
May 2, 1909, Honus Wagner steals his way around the bases in 1st inning against Cubs
May 2, 1948, The “Battle of Alcatraz” takes place, killing two guards and three inmates
May 2, 1997, “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery”, starring Mike Myers and Elizabeth Hurley, is released
May 2, 2011, Osama bin Laden, the suspected mastermind behind the September 11 attacks and the FBI’s most wanted man is killed by US special forces in Abbottabad, Pakistan
May 2, 2016, World Snooker Championship, Crucible Theatre, Sheffield: Mark Selby of England beats China’s Ding Junhui, 18-14 for his second world crown
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
Go away: John Elway
They said it: “It sounds like a joke, but for me it’s really important.” – Dodgers’ rookie pitcher, Roki Sasaki, on the team installing state-of-the-art, multi-function, heated-seat, bidet-equipped Japanese style toilets in the clubhouse this past winter to persuade him to sign with the team.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A college springbreaker accused of torching two Tesla Cybertrucks in Missouri has been released from federal custody after his lawyer argued that remaining in jail would disrupt ongoing sex-change treatment.
Not that I want to know firsthand, but what do you think Mel Kiper’s hair looks like when he rolls out of bed? The same???
I actually enjoy the NFL draft. It can be excruciating though in between picks.
Speaking of excruciating, how about play reviews in the NBA?! Mingya!
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: In the NBA, teams that win the tip-off win roughly 56% of the time.
My wife filled out a form for me that asked for simple information; height, weight, gender, date-of-birth, eye color and hair color, for example. For my hair color she put ‘gray’ and I thought “damn, she’s right!”
Article I’ll skip: Everything you need to build your own chicken coop.
Trivia #1 answer: What was Ted Williams’ lowest batting average in 1941 when he finished the season over .400? – .000, .250, .295, .308, .324, .333 – It was .308 on May 2nd of that season
Trivia #2 answer: How many 1,000 yard receiving seasons did the Steelers’ Lynn Swan have in his career? – 0,1,2,3,4,5,6 – He didn’t have one! 880 in 1978 was his highest
Trivia #3 answer: Which of the following was NOT a prior name for the Atlanta Braves baseball team? – Milwaukee Braves, Boston Braves, Boston Bees, Boston Doves, Boston Nationals, Boston Reds – Those were ALL prior names
Trivia #4 answer: Who is Oluwafemi Oladejo? – The #52 draft pick in this past NFL draft by the Tennessee Titans, a linebacker out of California.
Trivia #5 answer: What is the nickname for Roger Williams University? – Goats, Hawks, Panthers, Wildcats, Warriors, Flames, Kings – The Hawks
A guy sits next to me on the train.
MAN: Loads of psychopaths around here.
ME: Really?
MAN: Loads mate.
ME: How do you know?
MAN: There’s signs, aren’t there?
ME: I guess???
MAN: I love them.
(47 minutes of awkward silence)
The guy leaves the train and immediately gets on a bike. I then realize he was talking about ‘cycle paths.”
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Dos de Mayo!
And Happy National School Lunch Hero Day!
Before you go on… you’re humming “That’s Amore”, aren’t you?
– Dean Martin (That’s Amore)
The song was written for the 1953 film, The Caddy, starring Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. It’s performed when the characters return to Italy and reunite with their family. Contrary to popular misconception, the song is not about Italian partisans. The lyrics describe romantic love, using Italian imagery like pizza and pasta. The song helped rehabilitate Italy’s image as a romantic country after the fascist era. (TMI???)
Briefly.
A truck loaded with Vicks Vaporub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.
Thanks for being friends with me. Questionable life choice, but I appreciate it.
Trivia #1: When was the last year the Toronto Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup? – 1958, 1960, 1964, 1967, 1969, 1973
Trivia #2: Justin Thomas just became only the 7th player since 1960 to win 16 or more events on the PGA tour and win multiple majors, before the age of 32. Which of the following is NOT in that group? – Tom Watson, Arnold Palmer, Johnny Miller, David Duval, Rory McIlroy, Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus
Trivia #3: Who was the first quarterback in NFL history to throw for 4,000 yards? No hint, no multiple choice.
On this date: April 25, 1644, Last Ming Emperor Chongzhen hangs himself from a tree on Jing Mountain, Beijing, rather than be captured by forces of Li Zicheng
April 25, 1719, Danuel Defoe publishes “Robinson Crusoe”, regarded as the 1st English novel
April 25, 1886, Sigmund Freud opens his first neurologist practice at Rathausstrasse 7 in Vienna
April 25, 1950, Chuck Cooper becomes the 1st African American to be drafted into the NBA (for the Boston Celtics)
April 25, 1953, Francis Crick and James Watson’s discovery of the double helix structure of DNA is published in “Nature” magazine
April 25, 1964, Mark Panaro is born
April 25, 1981, Seattle Mariners manager Maury Wills is suspended for two games after ordering the Kingdome grounds crew to enlarge the batter’s boxes by one foot
April 25, 1993, NFL Draft: Washington State quarterback Drew Bledsoe is the first pick by New England Patriots
Will Campbell. I don’t know. The need was there but an offensive lineman is not a #4 overall draft pick. Just sayin’.
Speaking of which… after the pick of course they show highlights of whatever player was just drafted. In Campbell’s case, “Hey, nice block!” Please.
Go away: New lingo. Ya, I’m old school and I’m grumpy. And maybe these aren’t brand new but they bother me. Terms like “knock” (it’s a hit!), “dime” (it’s an assist!), “sweeper” (it’s a freakin’ curve ball!)
They said it: “Rivers do not drink their own water; trees do not eat their own fruit; the sun does not shine on itself and flowers do not spread their fragrance for themselves. Living for others is a rule of nature. We are all born to help each other. No matter how difficult it is… Life is good when you are happy; but much better when others are happy because of you.” – Pope Francis
This week’s sign of the Apocalypse: Wrestlemania 41. 41!!!!!
Good news: A Florida State University student wanted to show her appreciation for the men and women in law enforcement who kept so many people safe after a recent mass shooting on campus left two people dead and six others injured. So, she left them some cookies — along with a heartfelt “thank you” note.
Finally, it’s playoff time. Go Celtics!
Your weekends will last a lot longer if you start drinking on Thursdays.
Article I’ll skip: Top prospect Shedeur Sanders goes unselected in 1st round of NFL draft as freefall continues. Who really cares outside of his family?
Got your Real ID yet?
Trivia #1 answer: When was the last year the Toronto Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup? – 1958, 1960, 1964, 1967, 1969, 1973 – 1967 (Currently the longest drought in the NHL. Speaking of which, I don’t recall baseball fans across the country feeling bad for us Sox’ fans before 2004 with the whole “1918” thing. So, screw the Maple Leafs. I hope they never win the cup again. 😊 )
Trivia #2 answer: Justin Thomas just became only the 7th player since 1960 to win 16 or more events on the PGA tour and win multiple majors, before the age of 32. Which of the following is NOT in that group? – Tom Watson, Arnold Palmer, Johnny Miller, David Duval, Rory McIlroy, Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus – David Duval
Trivia #3 answer: Who was the first quarterback in NFL history to throw for 4,000 yards? No hint, no multiple choice. – Joe Namath (4,007 in 1967)
Due to the tariffs, Vietnamese women will only love American soldiers medium time. (If you know it, you know it)
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Hug a Plumber Day! (I suggest not to wait until the end of the day for this. Ewww!)
And Happy National Volunteer Week! It’s the end of the week, but you still have time. You’ve thought about it, now do it!
“Some may come and some may go
We will surely pass
When the one that left us here
Returns for us at last
We are but a moment’s sunlight
Fading in the grass”
– Ge Together (The Youngbloods)
Briefly. (you can proof read for me…)
If you lose your Khakis in Texas, it means you can’t find your pants. If you lose your Khakis in Boston, it means you can’t start your car.
Trivia #1: Legendary ESPN broadcaster and former coach, Lee Corso, who has entertained fans for 38 college football seasons, will make his final headgear pick on College GameDay on Saturday, August 30. What is Corso’s winning percentage for all of his picks (rounded up)? – 39%, 45%, 51%, 60%, 67%, 70%, 72%
Trivia #2: Of the following, list the top selling beers in America in order from #1 to #5 – Bud Light, Michelob Ultra, Modelo, Corona Extra, Coors Light
Trivia #3: Who is the only Red Sox player with 12+ hits, 6+ extra-base hits and 8+ walks in his first 10 career games? – Kristian Campbell, Ted Williams, Tony Conigliaro, Fred Lynn, Jim Rice, Mookie Betts, Nomar Garciaparra
Trivia #4: Which two colleges are NOT in the top 5 of schools with 1st round picks in the NFL draft, all-time? – Notre Dame, Georgia, Alabama, Miami (FL), Ohio State, USC, Florida
On this date: April 18, 1775, Paul Revere warns Samuel Adams and John Hancock that British troops are marching from Boston to Lexington
April 18, 1906, San Francisco earthquake and fire kills nearly 4,000 while destroying 75% of the city
April 18, 1935, Gene Sarazen’s double eagle on 15th, wins him his 2nd Masters
April 18, 1955, 1st “Walk”/”Don’t Walk” lighted street signals installed
Leftover from The Masters: Boy, I don’t miss LIV-defector Bubba Watson at all! Angel Cabrera, playing in his first Masters since his release from jail for domestic violence, looks to be no doubt in the mafia. Good for Rory!
Go away: Mel Kiper (It’s that time of year!)
They said it: “I have no plans beyond being a Dame.” – Notre Dame running back Jeremiah Love after turning down a $4.5M NIL offer from the University of Georgia to remain at Notre Dame.
In their quest for major sports relevancy, the NBA’s “play-in” tournament is underway. Yawn. I’m not sure what exactly the tournament does outside of giving gamblers something else to pour money into.
If you’ve watched the Boston Red Sox at all this season, and actually have seen someone hit a homerun for the Sox, then you know that the HR celebration this year involves said player putting on the huge, Wally uniform head and going through the dugout to a line of high-fives. You heard it here first: The player’s range of vision looks very limited in that headgear, and that will all end when some guy trips and goes down in the dugout. It’s coming…
Good news: Ahhhh, it’s going to be 80 degrees in New England tomorrow??? I’m reaching here.
Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams and Bruno Mars walk into a bar… They didn’t planet that way.
Article I’ll skip: Any article related to the upcoming (next Thursday) NFL draft. Exhausting!
Trivia #1 answer: Legendary ESPN broadcaster and former coach, Lee Corso, who has entertained fans for 38 college football seasons, will make his final headgear pick on College GameDay on Saturday, August 30. What is Corso’s winning percentage for all of his picks (rounded up)? – 39%, 45%, 51%, 60%, 67%, 70%, 72% – Corso is 287-144-0 (67%)
Trivia #2 answer: Of the following, list the top selling beers in America in order from #1 to #5 – Bud Light, Michelob Ultra, Modelo, Corona Extra, Coors Light – The top 5 are Modelo, Michelob Ultra, Bud Light, Coors Light, Corona Extra
Trivia #3 answer: Who is the only Red Sox player with 12+ hits, 6+ extra-base hits and 8+ walks in his first 10 career games? – Kristian Campbell, Ted Williams, Tony Conigliaro, Fred Lynn, Jim Rice, Mookie Betts, Nomar Garciaparra – Current rookie Kristian Campbell
Trivia #4 answer: Which two colleges are NOT in the top 5 of schools with 1st round picks in the NFL draft, all-time? – Notre Dame, Georgia, Alabama, Miami (FL), Ohio State, USC, Florida – Alabama (63 picks), Ohio St (60), USC (55), Miami (FL) 54, Florida (49) – NOT in the top 5 – Georgia (41), Notre Dame (30)
I saw my wife, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go into that church, you moron!” She was watching our wedding video again.
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Exercise Day! (I’ll see you at Happy Hour later)
“I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day
When it’s cold outside I’ve got the month of May
I guess you’d say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin’ ’bout my girl (my girl)”
– The Temptations (My Girl)
What’s that, you need a little pick-me-up instead?
Briefly.
“I” before “e” except for when your neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit, beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters… Weird!
Trivia #1: Which two NHL players are NOT in the top 10 for most career goals scored? – Teemu Selanne, Mike Gartner, Marcel Dionne, Steve Yzerman, Mark Messier, Brett Hull, Luc Robitaille
Trivia #2: Who holds the record for consecutive birdies at The Masters? – Tiger Woods, Steve Pate, Tom Weiskopf, Gene Sarazen, Tommy Aaron, Jack Nicklaus
Trivia #3: Which state has produced the most Masters champions?
On this date: April 11, 1612, Last public burning at the stake in England – Edward Wightman for heresy in Lichfield
April 11, 1890, Ellis Island, New York, designated as an immigration station
April 11, 1900, the first modern submarine designed and built by John Philip Holland, USS Holland is acquired by the U.S. Navy (Rumors of Holland being an ancestor to David Francis go unconfirmed)
April 11, 1912, RMS Titanic leaves Queenstown, Ireland, for NY
April 11, 1936, Stanley Cup Final, Maple Leaf Gardens, Toronto, ON: Detroit Red Wings beat Toronto Maple Leafs, 3-2 for a 3-1 series win; Red Wings first SC Championship
April 11, 1961, Bob Dylan makes his 1st appearance at Folk City, Greenwich Village, New York City
April 11, 1989, 1st playoff goal scored by a goalie, Ron Hextall of visiting Philadelphia Flyers shoots into Washington Capitols empty net while his team is shorthanded in 8-5 win
Go away: Torpedo bats
Speaking of going away, Bryson DeChambeau and Tyrell Hatton are both tied for 5th after one round of the Masters. Join me and just say “no” to a LIV Masters’ champion.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The use of artificial intelligence to reimagine the classic film “The Wizard of Oz” will likely see mixed reactions from fans. While “film purists” may resist the idea of using generative AI to give classic films an entire makeover, the technology could “breathe new life” into hit movies — including “The Wizard of Oz.” Warner Bros. Discovery, Google Cloud and Magnopus have set out to do just that by creating an immersive experience for fans of the 1939 classic. The new “Wizard of Oz” experience is set to premiere at the Las Vegas Sphere on Aug. 28.
They said it: “Get it airborne, bottom line. Just get it in the air.” Tom Watson, on his mindset as an honorary starter at The Masters.
The fact that the Capitals’ Alex Ovechkin broke Wayne Gretzky’s record of career goals scored (895 to 894) in the same number of games played (1,487) is mind-boggling.
The SEC pulled it off as one of its 14 entries into the men’s NCAA basketball tournament, the University of Florida, won the title.
The Boston Bruins have two games left and are officially out of the playoff hunt. Last night, tied with the Red Wings at 1-1 in the third period, they let up 3 goals in 1 minute, 33 seconds. How appropriate.
Good news: At just 13, Clara Fuller began experiencing uncontrollable seizures that baffled doctors. Initially misdiagnosed with anxiety and gallbladder issues, she even underwent unnecessary surgery before doctors finally identified the real culprit: epilepsy. But this wasn’t just any epilepsy; Clara had multifocal epilepsy, a rare and severe form that resists all medication. Everything changed this past summer when Clara became the first pediatric patient to undergo a minimally invasive procedure at the Mayo Clinic using NeuroOne’s cutting-edge brain implant technology. The device, known as the NeuroOne OneRF Ablation System, is the first of its kind FDA-cleared technology designed for both diagnosing and treating neurological disorders in one procedure.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Newly signed New England Patriots’ wide receiver, Stephon Diggs, will wear #8.
Sightseeing, you’re doing it wrong: Six people — including a pilot, two adults and three children — were killed after a tour helicopter crashed into the Hudson River in Jersey City, New Jersey, on Thursday afternoon. Sad.
Well, I missed Opening Day this year, at least in terms of attending. Nice watching on TV for a change though. Great tribute to the ’75 Sox, in particular, Louis “El Tiante” Tiant. The video tribute to Taint was to Aerosmith’s ‘Sweet Emotion’. Sweeet!
Just another shot from me towards the NBA. The “Teammate of the Year” award is voted on by all NBA players. How the hell do I know what kind of a teammate a guy is on another team?
Crow: “Excuse me, ma’am.”
Woman: “What?”
Crow: “Would you like to donate to my charity?”
Woman: “Maybe, what’s it called?”
Crow: “Caw! Caw! Caw! Caw!”… It’s four good caws.
Article I’ll skip: Jelly Roll drops nearly 200 pounds, sets sight on sky-high goal.
Trivia #1 answer: Which two NHL players are NOT in the top 10 of most career goals scored? – Teemu Selanne, Mike Gartner, Marcel Dionne, Steve Yzerman, Mark Messier, Brett Hull, Luc Robitaille – Teemu Selanne (#12) and Luc Robitaille (#13)
Trivia #2 answer: Who holds the record for consecutive birdies at The Masters? – Tiger Woods, Steve Pate, Tom Weiskopf, Gene Sarazen, Tommy Aaron, Jack Nicklaus – Steve Pate (seven straight in 1999)
Trivia #3 answer: Which state has produced the most Masters champions? – Texas
I was in psychology class the other day and we couldn’t stop laughing about how stupid Pavlov’s dogs were. Then the bell rang and we all went to lunch.
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Cheese Fondue Day!
And… Happy National Submarine Day! (There’s that submarine-thing again!)
“Early one morning the sun was shining
I was laying in bed
Wondering if she’d changed at all
If her hair was still red
Her folks they said our lives together
Sure was gonna be rough
They never did like mama’s homemade dress
Papa’s bankbook wasn’t big enough
And I was standing on the side of the road
Rain falling on my shoes
Heading out for the East Coast
Lord knows I’ve paid some dues
Getting through
Tangled up in blue.”
– Bob Dylan (Tangled Up In Blue)
Bonus!
Briefly. (Not exactly)
I ordered a book off the internet called ‘How To Scam People’ – It’s been three months now and it still hasn’t arrived.
Trivia #1: On April 4, 1841, what US Vice President became President after the death of President William Henry Harrison?
Trivia #2: Nolan Ryan was the only pitcher to face the last three single season homerun leaders, Roger Maris, Mark MaGwire and Barry Bonds. (This was prior to Aaron Judge’s 62 in 2022.) Of those other three, how many homeruns did they combine to hit against Ryan in their careers? – 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9
DYK: The people of Massachusetts voted in 1928 to allow sports on Sundays between 2 p.m. and 6 p.m. ET. However, it was still illegal to play a professional game on Sundays within 1000 feet of a church, which Fenway was. The Red Sox played the first Boston Sunday game ever on April 28, 1929 … at Braves Field, home of the then-other professional Boston baseball team. Eventually, the church rule was lifted, so the Red Sox got to play a Sunday game at Fenway for the first time on July 3, 1932. Hey, I’m here to educate.
Stop complaining: A deadly Tornado outbreak has killed at least eightpeopleand spawned more than 30 reports of twisters across the lower and mid-Mississippi Valley on Wednesday. At least six people have died in Tennessee due to the severe weather. The storms also injured multiple others and destroyed several homes from Arkansas, Missouri and Tennessee through Kentucky, Illinois and Indiana.
On this date: April 4, 1818, Congress decides on the US flag: 13 red & white stripes & 20 stars
April 4, 1917, US Senate agrees (82-6) to participate in WWI
April 4, 1922, WAAB (Baton Rouge, Louisiana) becomes 1st US radio station with “W” calls
April 4, 1968, US civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr. is assassinated by James Earl Ray at the Lorraine Hotel in Memphis, Tennessee. Riots break out in over 100 cities in the United States.
April 4, 1974, Hank Aaron ties Babe Ruth’s home-run record by hitting his 714th in Cincinnati, facing Jack Billingham
April 4, 1987, Dow Jones Industrial Average up 69.89 points, ending at record 2,390.34 points (Conversely, it went down 1,679.39 points just yesterday!)
Is there a trend of players stepping up on their own bobblehead nights? The other night, Shohei Ohtani homered on his bobblehead night for the second straight year. José Ramírez, last year, went 3-for-5 with three RBIs on his bobblehead day, and in 2022 he homered twice. In 2023 he had a reversible bucket hat day and was 1-for-4 with a double. Add it all up and in the past three years on José Ramírez-themed days, José Ramírez is 6-for-13 with eight RBIs and three homers. Mike Trout homered twice on his bobblehead day in 2019, and Mookie Betts homered twice in his first one with the Dodgers in 2021. On Yankees’ players Star Wars-themed bobblehead nights: Anthony Rizzo homered twice after his Mandalorian giveaway in 2023 and Aaron Judge went deep on his Jedi bobblehead day in 2018. The Giants’ Patrick Bailey splash-homered into McCovey Cove on his bobblehead day and Texas’ Nathaniel Lowe two-HR performance on the night of his Gold Glove Award giveaway.
OK, so the Red Sox aren’t going to go 162-0, but please, relax folks.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A public high school in Fairfax County, Virginia, decorated its history hallway with a polarizing alphabetic display for Women’s History Month, beginning with “A is for Abortion.” “The ABCs to ME” display “is a student-led history project that is part of an elective Women’s History class.”
Can the SEC pull it off? The conference sent 14 teams to the men’s NCAA basketball tournament with 7 of those teams making the Sweet 16 and two of them making the Final Four (Auburn and Florida). Will the conference be able to boast the champion???
They said it: “Lete’s go, Sports Bar!” – The Buffalo Wild Wings buffalo
Good news: Maybe it’s for the best that the Padres’ Kyle Hart didn’t earn his first big league win until this past Monday night. No, technically Hart was not making his Major League debut. The 32-year-old left-hander had made four appearances for the Red Sox in 2020 at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. “We couldn’t even be there [for Kyle’s debut],” Kyle’s father Roger said, “because there was nobody in the stands. This was our first chance to see him pitch at the Major League Baseball level. That was a good feeling to be able to be here for that — just to be a part of it.” In his first start as a Padre, Kyle Hart worked five solid innings against the Indians. He allowed two runs on five hits while striking out four, as San Diego improved to 5-0 for the first time in franchise history.
Along those lines, “Yellowjackets” star Christina Ricci placed her home in Silver Lake, CA on the market for just over $4 million. Her decision to sell the home comes just eight months after she first purchased it in July 2024, as she is now looking for a bigger property that would allow her family members, who lost their homes in the Palisades Fire earlier this year, to move in with her. Nice! (Note: Apparently, “Yellowjackets” is some television show, series, whatever…)
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Your Boston Red Sox scored 8 runs yesterday. It was the first time they had scored 5 or more runs since the season began, their longest such drought to open the season since 2009.
Article I’ll skip: Bruce Willis and Demi Moore’s adult daughters still take baths together. (I said I’ll skip the article. I didn’t say I wouldn’t look at pictures.)
Trivia #1 answer: On April 4, 1841, what US Vice President became President after the death of President William Henry Harrison? – John Tyler
Trivia #2 answer: Nolan Ryan was the only pitcher to face the last three single season homerun leaders, Roger Maris, Mark MaGwire and Barry Bonds. (This was prior to Aaron Judge’s 62 in 2022.) Of those other three, how many homeruns did they combine to hit against Ryan in their careers? – 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9 – They hit zero homeruns while combining to go 5-28.
Math is hard. 15+15 is thirty and 16+16 is thirty too!
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Chicken Cordon Bleu Day!
And Happy Opening Day, at Fenway Park. If you’re heading in, or watching on NESN, pregame ceremonies for the April 4 home opener will welcome members of the 1975 team to mark the 50th anniversary of their AL Championship win, and remember Red Sox Hall of Famer Luis Tiant, who passed away October 8, 2024, at the age of 83. Fans are encouraged to be in their seats by 1:30 p.m. to enjoy the ceremonies preceding the 2:10 p.m. game against the St. Louis Cardinals. Before the game, the two teams will be introduced along the base lines, with the colors presented by the 1st Battalion and 181st Infantry Regiment of the Massachusetts National Guard, the 66th Air Base Group out of Hanscom Air Force Base, and members of the 1st Coast Guard District. The National Anthem will be performed by the Boston Arts Academy “Treble Allstars,” and punctuated by a fly-over by two F-35’s flown by the 134th Fighter Squadron, Green Mountain Boys of the Vermont Air National Guard and one KC-46 from the New Hampshire Air National Guard’s 157th Air Refueling Wing.
“Early morning, April 4
Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride”
– U2 (Pride (In the Name of Love))
Bonus – Luther!
Repeat Double-bonus! Happy Opening Day (Fenway)
Briefly. (I woke up handsome again. This is getting ridiculous)
Her, lying in bed next to her husband, thinking to herself: “I bet he is thinking of another woman.”
Him, thinking to himself: “I wonder how long it takes for a giraffe to throw up?”
Trivia #1: Three of the following MLB teams have never had a league MVP. Which three? – Tampa Bay Devil Rays, San Diego Padres, Florida Marlins, New York Mets, Arizona Diamondbacks, Kansas City Royals
Trivia #2: Of the top 9, total strikeouts in a 10-game span, there are only two pitchers on that list. Which two? – Nolan Ryan and Randy Johnson, Nolan Ryan and Steve Carlton, Roger Clemens and Pedro Martinez, Nolan Ryan and Justin Verlander, Bob Feller and Roger Clemens, Nolan Ryan and Pedro Martinez
Trivia #3: Who has the most Opening Day RBIs (21) in his career? – Adam Dunn, Miguel Cabrera, Vladimir Guerrero, Dave Kingman, Mo Vaughn, Ken Griffey Jr.
Trivia #4: Who has the most Opening Day strikeouts in his career (107) – Tom Seaver, Bob Gibson, Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez, Roger Clemens, Ric Accardi
Yes, I know it’s not the “Devil” Rays any more. Jeez, you must be a Commanders or Guardians fan.
Stop complaining: See “Not-so-good news” below.
And this; Three wildfires in western North Carolina are proving challenging for firefighters to beat because of rough terrain and debris left behind by Hurricane Helene.
On this date: March 28, 1797, Nathaniel Briggs of New Hampshire patents the washing machine. (He was destined to become a popular lady’s man!)
March 28, 1885, US Salvation Army officially organized
March 28, 1957, 1st National Curling Championship held
March 28, 1972, Elvis Presley records his final Top Ten hit, a cover of “Burning Love”, a song written by Dennis Linde, and first recorded by Arthur Alexander
March 28, 2017, World’s largest dinosaur footprint at 1.7 metres found in Kimberley, Western Australia
Opening Day in MLB was yesterday! Your Boston Red Sox are 1-0 after a thrilling 5-2 win. They are tied for 1st place in the AL East and on pace to go 162-0.
Let’s summarize the Sox’ schedule, shall we?
– They open at home next Friday, April 4th vs the Cardinals
– Their dreaded west coast trip is in mid-June (SEA, SF, LAA). They opened the season on that trip last year
– Their longest homestand is 10 games in 10 days (ATL, Mets, BALT) towards the end of May. Their longest road trip is the aforementioned west coast swing
– They end with 3 home games vs Detroit
– They don’t play the Yankees until June 6th
– They play 10 divisional games in a row (2 at home), in late August (BAL (6) and Yankees (4))
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A tranquilizer commonly referred to as a “zombie drug” is being manufactured and smuggled across the U.S. southern border. The drug xylazine, known as “tranq” in street lingo, is used as a tranquilizer by veterinarians. The drug leaves users in a “zombie-like” state as it constricts blood vessels and cuts off oxygen flow to the body, causing abscesses that rot the flesh.
They said it: “He’s not human!” – Ian Eagle on Duke’s Tyrese Proctor last weekend. Yes, the kid got hot and hit 7-8 from 3-point range. He got hot. Relax, Ian.
Stuntman!… you’re doing it wrong: Chachi Valencia, whose stage name is The Rocketman Valencia, was performing his death-defying human cannonball act at the Riverside County Fair and National Date Festival in Indio. Footage from the accident shows Valencia, a sixth-generation circus performer, sailing through the air after being launched from a 35-foot human cannon. As he falls to the landing spot, a gust of wind blows him toward the side of the net, causing him to bounce into the air and smash into the concrete ground below.
Good news: After an expected brief mission to the International Space Station, astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams have returned to Earth after what turned out to be a grueling 9-month spaceflight.
Not-so-good news: Said a leading expert in spaceflight-associated health changes: “One of the most immediate challenges astronauts face when they return to Earth is mobility and balance. These issues often recover more quickly compared to others, but it takes time for astronauts to readjust to gravity. The balance, mobility, and walking difficulties astronauts experience during the first weeks back are typically resolved in a short period, but brain function and structure require longer recovery periods.”
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: March 28, 1957, 1st National Curling Championship held (Ya, maybe that ‘dinosaur footprint’ thing too)
Let the UNC/WVU men’s basketball controversary continue as, after winning their play-in game, UNC lost their first round game to Ole Miss.
Men who regularly dodge prostate cancer screening appointments are 45% more likely to die from the disease. Prostate cancer is the most common cancer among men and the second-leading cause of cancer deaths. Just sayin’…
Article I’ll skip: Country singer ‘finds God’ while hunting and fishing in the great outdoors.
Trivia #1 answer: Three of the following MLB teams have never had a league MVP. Which three? – Tampa Bay Devil Rays, San Diego Padres, Florida Marlins, New York Mets, Arizona Diamondbacks, Kansas City Royals – The New York Mets, Arizona Diamondbacks and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.
Trivia #2 answer: Of the top 9, total strikeouts in a 10-game span, there are only two pitchers on that list. Which two? – Nolan Ryan and Randy Johnson, Nolan Ryan and Steve Carlton, Roger Clemens and Pedro Martinez, Nolan Ryan and Justin Verlander, Bob Feller and Roger Clemens, Nolan Ryan and Pedro Martinez – Nolan Ryan did it twice and struck out 123 batters and 122) and Pedro Martinez did it 7 times – 130 (the most), 128, 123, 122, 121, 120(2x)
Trivia #3 answer: Who has the most Opening Day RBIs (21) in his career? – Adam Dunn, Miguel Cabrera, Vladimir Guerrero, Dave Kingman, Mo Vaughn, Ken Griffey Jr. – Adam Dunn
Trivia #4: Who has the most Opening Day strikeouts in his career (107) – Tom Seaver, Bob Gibson, Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez, Roger Clemens, Ric Accardi – Randy Johnson
DYK: William H. Taft threw out the first Presidential first pitch from his box seats, not the pitcher’s mound (April 14, 1910).
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there is a new strain out there.
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Triglycerides Day! (Ya, go ahead and celebrate that!)
“Got my mojo working, but it just won’t work on you
Got my mojo working, but it just won’t work on you
I wanna love you so bad till I don’t know what to do”
– Muddy Waters (Got My Mojo Working) – Newport!
Bonus!
Briefly.
A few weeks ago, my mother-in-law began reading “The Exorcist.” She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn’t finish it, took it over to the beach and threw it off a fishing pier. I went and bought another copy, ran the faucet over it and left it in the night table drawer by her bed. I’m going to hell.
Trivia #1: What school has made the most Final Four appearances? – North Carolina, Kentucky, UCLA, Michigan, Michigan St., Kansas, Northern Essex
Trivia #2: What school has the most appearances in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament without a Final Four appearance? Boston College, Xavier, Missouri, Tennessee, UAB, Creighton, BYU, Northern Essex
Trivia #3: What did brothers Theodore Golden Grigg and F. Nephi Grigg invent?
Stop complaining: Severe weather is forecast to pose threats to portions of the southern Plains and the Mississippi Valley this weekend, only one week after a deadly tornado outbreak struck the region.
On this date: March 21, 1844, the original date predicted by William Miller of Massachusetts for the return of Christ and the end of the world
March 21, 1947, US President Harry Truman signs Executive Order 9835 requiring all federal employees to have “complete and unswerving loyalty to the United States”
March 21, 1952, 20,000 attempt to attend the 1st rock & roll concert ever when Alan Freed presents “The Moondog Coronation Ball” at old 12,000 seat Cleveland Arena; performers include: Paul Williams and the Hucklebuckers; Tiny Grimes and the Rocking Highlanders; The Dominoes; and Varetta Dillard
March 21, 1962, Yogi the bear becomes the 1st creature to be ejected at supersonic speeds by the US military testing ejection seats (I can’t make this shit up!)
March 21, 1964, Beatles’ single “She Loves You” goes #1 in the US & stays #1 for 2 weeks
March 21, 1982, “Little Johnny Jones” opens & closes at Alvin Theater NYC (Ha!)
march 21, 1991, Tatsumi Fujinami beats Ric Flair for NWA wrestling championship
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Two high school graduates who say they can’t read or write are suing their respective public school systems arguing they were not given the free public education to which they are entitled.
Traveling to London, you’re doing it wrong. London Heathrow Airport (LHR) said it is “experiencing a significant power outage” after an electrical substation that supplies the airport caught on fire. The airport will be closed all day today.
Good news: Well, for college basketball and its fans: College basketball coaching legends John Calipari (Arkansas) will face off against Rick Pitino (St. John’s) tomorrow.
Question: Would astronaut Suni Williams be such a celebrity if she had a short, butch-type haircut? Just sayin’.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: See the answer below to trivia question #3.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deuz. Mangoes may be linked to lower insulin resistance, a factor involved in the prevention of diabetes. The reference to “may be” renders the statement useless.
The calculated odds of my bracket being perfect were 496,319,938,358,861 to 1, before the tournament began. That is about correct as it wasn’t nearly perfect yesterday.
American University Eagles, in Washington, D.C., has to be the greatest nickname in college in the nation.
Meanwhile, the Youngstown State Penguins, maybe the worst?
Article I’ll skip: Actress fascinated by MAHA movement, says institutions are “really failing us.”
Trivia #1 answer: What school has made the most Final Four appearances? – North Carolina, Kentucky, UCLA, Michigan, Michigan St., Kansas, Northern Essex – North Carolina (20 appearances)
Trivia #2 answer: What school has the most appearances in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament without a Final Four appearance? Boston College, Xavier, Missouri, Tennessee, UAB, Creighton, BYU, Northern Essex – BYU (31 appearances)
Trivia #3 answer: What did brothers Theodore Golden Grigg and F. Nephi Grigg invent? – The brothers, founders of Ore-Ida, invented the Tater Tots in 1953. One of the brothers was the great-grandfather of BYU men’s basketball player Richie Saunders.
Potential pick-up line if you happen to be out on the prowl this weekend: “Hey, how’s your bracket?”
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!) Like a midget at a urinal, stay on your toes!
Happy National Fragrance Day! (That don’t stink)
“You think you lost your love
Well, I saw her yesterday
It’s you she’s thinking of
And she told me what to say
She says she loves you
And you know that can’t be bad
Yes, she loves you
And you know you should be glad”
The Beatles (She Loves You)
Bonus! – Alice is ageless
Briefly.
Your brain at 3AM: I can see you’re trying to sleep, so I would like to offer you a selection of every memory, unresolved issue, mistake, or thing you should have said or done yesterday or in the past 40 years!
Please, pardon my recent mistakes in trivia questions. (Ya, like I give a shit.)
Trivia #1: Is it St. Patty’s Day or St. Paddy’s Day?
Trivia #2: According to the Guinness Book of World Records, what’s the highest number of leaves ever recorded on a single clover stem? – 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 63.
Trivia #3: What is the term for a young Irish woman or girl? – Lad, Lady, Catherine, Colleen, Ruby, Lass, Maeve
Trivia #4: On what instrument do you play piobaireachd music?
Trivia #5: According to folklore, what’s a leprechaun’s occupation? – Blacksmith, Shoemaker, Carpenter, Poet, Farmer, Locksmith
Trivia #6: St. Patrick was known to wear what color, Green, Blue, Gold, Yellow, Orange, Purple, Red, Sky-blue-pink
Stop complaining: New details have emerged in the shocking story of a 32-year-of a Connecticut man allegedly held captive in a single room by his father and stepmother for 20 years. While receiving medical care after the fire he lit inside his own home, the 32-year-old said he had been held captive in the home since he was 11 years old. Subsequent arrest warrants revealed the man was locked inside a room nearly 24 hours each day without heat or air conditioning. He was also provided two sandwiches and two bottles of water on a daily basis, which he rationed for soapless baths.
On this date: March 14, 1743, the 1st American town meeting is held in Boston’s Faneuil Hall
March 14, 1794, Eli Whitney patents the cotton gin machine revolutionizing the cotton industry in the southern US states
March 14, 1880, the Salvation Army of England starts work in the US at Harry Hill’s Variety Theatre in NYC
March 14, 1923, US President Warren G. Harding becomes 1st president to pay taxes.
March 14, 1972, Muddy Waters wins his first Grammy Award, for his album “They Call Me Muddy Waters”
March 14, 2018, NASA twin study finds that Scott Kelly is no longer identical to his twin brother after one year in space, 7% of his genes altered. Wowza!
Go away: Aaron Rodgers, get off my television. (Repeat offender)
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Boston Celtics took 63 (63!) three-point shots the other night, going 5-27 in the second half. Yawn.
They said it: “My ma urged me to get out of this game. When I was a kid, she pleaded with me. And I meant to, you know what I mean? But she died. Now look at me. I’m wet nurse to a last-place, dead-to-the-neck-up ball club, and I’m choking to death!” – Pop Fisher (Wilfred Brimley), manager of the New York Knights in the movie “The Natural.”
Good news: For NFL quarterback Gardner Minshew, that is. Minshew, who started nine games for the Las Vegas Raiders in 2024, signed a one-year deal with the Kansas City Chiefs. Minshew signed a two-year, $25 million contract last offseason to battle for the starting role with the Raiders.
He may be too hurt to golf, but apparently Tiger Woods is still at it, reportedly dating the president’s former daughter-in-law, Vanessa Trump.
Again folks, it’s not complicated. Put on your directional and then use your brakes. Argh!
Tragic… NOT! The Yankees’ ace pitcher Gerrit Cole is to undergo season-ending Tommy John surgery.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: “Pi” has been calculated to over 62.8 trillion digits.
Did you catch the high school track star bashing her opponent in the head with the baton during a recent relay race? She’s been charged with assault and battery. Bitch.
Article I’ll skip: Vanna White details surprising number of days she gets off each year on ‘Wheel of Fortune.’
Article I’ll skip, part deux: 9 must-have March Madness party supplies
Trivia #1 answer: Is it St. Patty’s Day or St. Paddy’s Day? – St. Paddy. Pádraig is the Gaelic or Irish origin of the name Patrick, which is colloquially shortened to Paddy, hence the abbreviation, St. Paddy’s Day.
Trivia #2 answer: According to the Guinness Book of World Records, What’s the highest number of leaves ever recorded on a single clover stem? – 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 63. – It is 63. That’s a lot of luck!
Trivia #3: What is the term for a young Irish woman or girl? – Lad, Lady, Cathrine, Colleen, Ruby, Lass, Maeve – Colleen
Trivia #4: On what instrument do you play piobaireachd music? – The bagpipe
Trivia #5: According to folklore, what’s a leprechaun’s occupation? – Blacksmith, Shoemaker, Carpenter, Poet, Farmer, Locksmith – He’s a Shoemaker
Trivia #6: St. Patrick was known to wear what color, Green, Blue, Gold, Yellow, Orange, Purple, Red, Sky-blue-pink – Blue
If your wife is mad at you, buy a new fishing pole… She’ll still be mad at you, but you’ll have a new fishing pole.
I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to a three-day, St. Patrick’s Day bender. Enjoy.
“To all the days here and after, may they be filled with fond memories, happiness and laughter.”
Live, every day.
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!) Like a midget at a urinal, stay on your toes!
Happy National Pi Day!
“When Irish eyes are smiling
Sure, ’tis like the morning Spring
In the lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing
When Irish hearts are happy
All the world seems bright and gay
What when Irish eyes are smiling
Sure, they steal your heart away”
– The Irish Tenors (When Irish Eyes Are Smiling)
Bonus track!
My apologies as Trivia #3 should have read 1983 and not last week’s 2015. Damn “copy and paste” gets me sometimes.
Ed's Head On Friday 