Blog

Briefly. (kinda)

Me: I’m full of lust but I just can’t perform in bed. Doctor: Do you struggle with the booze? Me, while looking at my wife: The booing is bad but the slow clapping is just sarcastic.

Trivia #1: How is it that the 93^rd MLB All-Star game is being played next Tuesday and the first one was played in 1933?
Trivia #2: Which of the following is NOT in the top 5 all-time in career batting average in the All-Star game? – Charlie Gehringer, Ted Williams, Joe Carter, Derek Jeter, Ted Kluszewski, Al Simmons
Trivia #3: This past Wednesday was the hottest day on earth ever recorded since recordings began in 1979. What was the average global temperature (Fahrenheit)? – 59.10 degrees, 60.94, 61.43, 62.92, 63.77
Trivia #4: What does AITA stand for in regards to social media?

The best thing since sliced bread!

On this day: July 7, 1928, sliced bread sold for the first time by the Chillicothe Baking Company, Missouri, using a machine invented by Otto Frederick Rohwedder.
July 7, 1965, Otis Redding records the song “Respect” at Stax Studios in Memphis, Tennessee.

Go away: Rain

Golf commentary continues to kill me. “Great golf shot!” Ya, no shit. You don’t hear other sports announcers saying things like, “Great basketball shot!” or “He’s a great shooter of the puck” or “great thrower of the football.”

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s official website published advice for trans and non-binary individuals on seeking guidance on how to “chestfeed” their infants.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: Our nation is facing a health crisis among young people with 77% of America’s youth not eligible to serve in the military.

Do you play pickleball? Maybe now you don’t but it’s been taking off for years and that trend continues. Fenway Park is hosting pickleball from July 12 through 16, featuring professional and amateur tournaments as well as open play for fans. Twelve temporary courts will be set up in the outfield over the five-day period. Pickleball at Fenway Park is in collaboration with Pickle4, a newly formed organization partnered with the US Open Pickleball Championships focused on developing America’s fastest growing sport.

Slogan of the week: “Save the Ales!” Courtesy of the Atlantic Brewing Company, Bar Harbor, ME.

Stop complaining. It’s wicked hot outside. Go ahead and complain.

So, you’re all asking for a Shohei Ohtani update, no one actually asked, so here it is. It was a historic June for Ohtani. He hit 15 homeruns in the month, most in a month in Angels’ history, and is the first player to reach 30 homeruns before July 1 in 10 years. For the month, he hit .394, had 41 hits and 29 RBIs, the best month of his career. His .952 slugging percentage in June was the 3^rd highest in MLB history and his 1.444 OPS is the highest since Lou Gehrig in 1936.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Birmingham Stallions earn second consecutive USFL championship after beating the Pittsburgh Maulers 28-12.

Article I’ll skip: Kid Rock fans reveal what beer they’re drinking – or not drinking – this July 4th

“Big 12”, you’re doing it wrong. After adding Houston, Cincinnati, BYU and UCF, the Big 12 it set to begin the NCAA football season with 14 teams before Texas and Oklahoma depart for the SEC in 2024.

Good news: A Texas woman retired this month after working for 74 years in sales for Dillard’s department store — never once missing a day or calling in sick. Melba Mebane, 90, started her career in 1949 as an “elevator girl” at the Mayer & Schmidt department store in Tyler, Texas, which Dillard’s acquired in 1956. Said the sotre’s manager: “She’s not just a salesperson. She’s a mother. She guides you. She gives you advice on life. She’s amazing.”

Trivia #1 answer: How is it that the 93^rd MLB All-Star game is being played next Tuesday and the first one was played in 1933? – There were no games played in 1945 (WW II) and 2020 (Pandemic) and, for four years (1959 thru 1962), two All-Star games were played.
Trivia #2 answer: Which of the following is NOT in the top 5 all-time in career batting average in the All-Star game? – Charlie Gehringer, Ted Williams, Joe Carter, Derek Jeter, Ted Kluszewski, Al Simmons – Ted Williams
Trivia #3 answer: This past Wednesday was the hottest day on earth ever recorded since recordings began in 1979. What was the average global temperature (Fahrenheit)? – 59.10 degrees, 60.94, 61.43, 62.92, 63.77 – 62.924 degrees
Trivia #4 answer: What does AITA stand for in regards to social media? – “Am I The Asshole” – people ask AITA when sharing personal disputes in which they are unsure if they’ve acted they like an asshole—that is, been mean, selfish, or wrong in some way

Me: Oh no, our neighbor died. My wife: Who, Ray? Me: I really don’t think cheering is appropriate.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Day of Rock ‘n’ Roll!

“Hey little girl, you’re so sweeter than honey
And I’m about to give you all my money
But all I’m askin’, hey
Is a little respect when I get home”

– Aretha Franklin

In honor of National Day or Rock ‘n’ Roll – bonus video!

“It’s been a long time since I rock ‘n’ rolled” (I really hope is hasn’t been a long time for you)

Briefly.

Was checking out and asked if I could pay by card. The cashier said no problem, what card do you have? I said, “the six of spades.”

Trivia #1: The 40-hour work week law was approved for federal employees in what year? – 1928, 1930, 1932, 1934, 1936
Trivia #2: The Yankees’ Domingo German pitched the 4^th perfect game in MLB history the other night. Which of the following has Not pitched a perfect game? – Roy Halladay, Kenny Rogers, David Wells, Dennis Martinez, Tom Browning, Lefty Grove, Addie Joss, Jim Bunning

On this day: June 30, 1988 – Brooklyn, NY dedicates a bus depot honoring Jackie Gleason and his role as bus driver Ralph Kramden in “The Honeymooners”

Also, on June 30, 1966 – England spin bowler Derek Underwood goes wicketless in his Test cricket debut vs West Indies at Nottingham; captures 297 wickets in illustrious 86 Test career. Say what?

Go away:

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The rapid advancement of artificial intelligence (AI) programs capable of generating realistic images has led to an explosion in child pornography and blackmail attempts by criminals determined to exploit kids and teenagers.

Another sign of the apocalypse: An Alabama eight-year-old had his sights on Disney World and decided to open up a lemonade stand to help him get there. However, he and his mother received a surprising call that added a wrench in their plans. Cam and his mother Cristal Johnson were contacted by the Alabama Labor Department over a complaint that the lemonade stand violated child labor laws.

The Red Sox are 40-42 and are not even close to being that good.

Stop complaining. Much of the American Midwest and Northeast faced unhealthy air alerts because smoke from Canada wildfires continued to blanket the region, while the Southern U.S. faced extremely dangerous heat. There were 127 million people under air quality alerts, and 79 million more under heat alerts on Wednesday.

He delivers! Not. A North Texas postal worker Eugene Gates Jr., 66, died on June 20 after he collapsed while delivering mail amid a dangerously high heat index. The heat index the day the worker died reached 115 degrees Fahrenheit, the highest recorded temperature in the Dallas-Fort Worth area since 1980.

The roof of my mouth just healed from a McDonald’s apple pie I had in 1979.

Article I’ll skip: Carrie Underwood at center of rumored feud with fellow ‘American Idol’ winner.

Good news: Good news about AI, even! The first-ever drug generated by artificial intelligence has entered Phase 2 clinical trials, with the first dose successfully administered to a human. The drug, currently referred to as INS018_055, is being tested to treat idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis (IPF), a rare, progressive type of chronic lung disease.

R.I.P. Ryan Mallett (35) – Former NFL and University of Arkansas quarterback died in an apparent drowning. Mallett was also head football coach at White Hall high school in AR. 35, damn.

Trivia #1 answer: The 40-hour work week law was was approved for federal employees in what year? – 1928, 1930, 1932, 1934, 1936 – 1936
Trivia #2 answer: The Yankees’ Domingo German pitched the 4^th perfect game in MLB history the other night. Which of the following has Not pitched a perfect game? – Roy Halladay, Kenny Rogers, David Wells, Dennis Martinez, Tom Browning, Lefty Grove, Addie Joss, Jim Bunning – Lefty Grove

If they grew Doritos on a farm it would be a pretty cool ranch.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National OOTD Day! (Outfit Of The Day, apparently)

And Happy 4^th of July next week! Let’s all try to remember why we celebrate the holiday, shall we??

“Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain
With the rain in Shambala
Wash away my sorrow, wash away my shame
with the rain in Shambala”

– Three Dog Night

Briefly. (I gotta go climb a mountain)

My blonde girlfriend thinks USB is a backup plan in case USA fails.

Trivia #1: Who was the first American-born player to win the Open Championship? – Walter Hagen, Bobby Jones, Jim Barnes, Harry Vardon, Jock Hutchinson, Dane Hubbard
Trivia #2: Why does golfer Rickie Fowler where orange? – It is his daughter’s favorite color, He went to Clemson University, He likes oranges, He went to Oklahoma State University, There’s nothing that rhymes with it

Go away: Aaron Rodgers (he didn’t listen to me the first time)

You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, you can always post your case to Facebook and wait for all the know-it-alls to offer advice.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: NCAA volleyball player, Mary Petty wrote a tweet about the debate over transgender athletes participating in women’s sports, but the tweet had gone over the media platform’s character limit. She asked OpenAI’s widely popular ChatGPT to shorten the tweet and was “told” the message was rewritten to promote inclusivity.

On this day: June 23, 1939, Bronko Nagurski beats Lou Thesz in Houston to win the National Wrestling Association world heavyweight title.
June 23, 1975, rocker Alice Cooper falls off stage in Vancouver, breaking 6 ribs

I saw a list of songs entitled “!00 songs that were made to play in the car.” Upon further review, I would retitle it: “100 songs that make me want to drive 100 MPH.”

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: USFL MVP favorite Alex McGough has the Stallions on the verge of making championship game.

Article I’ll skip: Major American sports league makes decision about Pride jerseys during warmups

Are you feeling old lately? Judge Judy is 80!

Now I’ve seen some interesting restroom signs before, but in a place called “Geddy’s” in Bar Harbor, Maine – “Inboard” & “Outboard”

Good news: (More like a “They said it”) – 99-year-old Mildred Kirschenbaum, of Boca Raton, FL; “You’ve got to enjoy life. If you’re up there in years, do yourself — not your children, not your friends, not your world — yourself, a favor: Enjoy everything.”

Trivia #1 answer: Who was the first American-born player to win the Open Championship? – Walter Hagen, Bobby Jones, Jim Barnes, Harry Vardon, Jock Hutchinson, Dane Hubbard – Walter Hagen ((1922)
Trivia #2: Why does golfer Rickie Fowler where orange? – It is his daughter’s favorite color, He went to Clemson University, He likes oranges, He went to Oklahoma State University, There’s nothing that rhymes with it – He went to Oklahoma State University

“Tonight, I’m gonna party like it’s 1999…” How’s that song doing nowadays? In the meantime, I’m going to party like it’s 2023!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy United Nations Public Service Day!

“I told her that I came from Detroit City
And I played guitar in a long-haired rock-and-roll band
She asked me why the singer’s name was Alice
I said, “Listen, baby, you really wouldn’t understand.”

– Alice Cooper

Bonus video!

Briefly.

Flight attendant: “Y’all want something to eat?” Me: “What are my choices?” Flight attendant: “Yes or no”

Trivia #1: What Red Sox had a (Red Sox) career R ≥ 700, RBI ≥ 700, BA ≥.290, OPS ≥ .800 besides Ted Williams, David Ortiz, Jim Rice, Manny Ramirez & Jimmie Foxx?
Trivia #2: The last time a European won golf’s US Open was in what year? – 1965, 1970, 1975, 1976, 1979, 1982

I feel bad for parents nowadays. They have to explain the birds and the bees, the bees and the birds, the birds and the birds, the birds that used to be bees, the bees that used to be birds, plus the bees that look like birds but still got a stinger.

Go away: Jay Monahan

Speaking of Jay Monahan, there are just no words. The PGA/LIV merger is so difficult to understand. What a gutless, puke Monahan is. Senate Finance Committee Chairman Ron Wyden is seeking information from the PGA Tour’s leadership from details about the framework of the deal to an assessment of the merger’s implications for national security.  Wyden wrote that the merger “raises significant questions about whether organizations that tie themselves to an authoritarian regime that has continually undermined the rule of law should continue to enjoy tax-exempt status” in the U.S.

Go away, part deux: Conor McGregor

Speaking of Conor McGregor, that punk, after punching the Miami Heat’s mascot during Game 4 of the NBA Finals (OK, publicity stunt, I get it), but he then allegedly raped a woman in a rest room after that same game.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Authorities in Texas made a strange discovery when they were called to a residence in Harris County after a “body” was discovered on the premises. The Harris County Sheriff’s Office responded as a “deceased female was discovered.” However, “upon closer inspection” the officials determined it was a sex doll.

On this day: June 16, 1902, The Wizard of OZ premiered in Chicago, Illinois.
June 16, 1972. RCA releases David Bowie’s “The Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust”, considered his artistic breakthrough.
June 16, 1977, Oracle Corporation is launched in Redwood Shores, CA. by Larry Ellison and two others. Just recently, Ellison moved into third place in terms of the world’s richest person, thanks largely to the exponential growth of AI applications.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Larry Ellison is the third richest man in the world.

To each their own. Duane Owen, convicted in the 1984 killing of a babysitter, a woman in a separate murder and rapes, was executed Thursday in Florida via lethal injection. Owen’s last meal consisted of a bacon cheeseburger with no bun, onion rings, strawberries, a vanilla milkshake, cherry ice cream and coffee. No bun? Really?

Article I’ll skip: Pat Sajak’s rumored successor was prepped for success by broadcasting legend

Nikola Jokic, what a stud! The first player in NBA history to lead the playoffs in points, rebounds and assists, and he even won the title!

They said it: “Life is so much easier when you’re dead.” – Alfie Solomons (Peaky Blinders)

Good news: I read something earlier this week and it should be written here… but I forgot what it was. Trust me, there is/was some good out there!

Ronald Acuna Jr., Atlanta Braves. Not only is he having a great season, .331 BA with 15 dingers, 45 RBI and 29 stolen bases, but did you see him the other night go from 1^st to 3^rd… on a walk! Now that’s hustle!

“Nippy.” That’s a funny word… when you think about it.

Trivia #1 answer: What Red Sox had was a (Red Sox) career R ≥ 700, RBI ≥ 700, BA ≥.290, OPS ≥ .800 besides Ted Williams, David Ortiz, Jim Rice, Manny Ramirez & Jimmie Foxx? – Dustin Pedroia
Trivia #2 answer: The last time a European won golf’s US Open was in what year? – 1965, 1970, 1975, 1976, 1979, 1982 – 1970 (Tony Jacklin)

Turns out an at-home DNA test is not a good baby shower gift.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy World Sea Turtle Day! Happy Father’s Day also to you Dads out there.

“Now Ziggy played guitar
Jamming good with Weird and Gilly
And The Spiders from Mars
He played it left hand
But made it too far
Became a special man
Then we were Ziggy’s Band”

– David Bowie

Sorry folks but it’s Penta Day. For the 27th consecutive year(ish) we celebrate the memory of Charlie Penta. Big day locally, for many of you, not so much.

See you all next week.

Here’s to Charlie!

“Time will tell on their power minds
Making war jut for fun
Treating people just like pawns in chess
Wait till their judgement day comes”

– Black Sabbath

Briefly.

I realized I had a road rage problem when my son starting yelling “Pick a lane, asshole!” in the grocery store.

Trivia #1: Which NBA team was the first expansion team to win the NBA Finals? – Chicago Stags, Washington Capitols, Syracuse Nationals, Baltimore Bullets, Whittier Tech
Trivia #2: Which Red Sox player holds the franchise record for single-season ERA? – Cy Young, Dutch Leonard, Roger Clemens, Clay Buchholz, Curt Schilling
Trivia #3: The term “Artificial Intelligence” was coined in what year? – 1955, 1959, 1962, 1967, 1970, 2022
Trivia #4: Who wrote “I Can’t Stop Lovin’ You? – Ray Charles, Don Gibson, Marvin Gaye, Aretha Franklin, Jim Reeves

My kids get a kick out of the fact that when I was a kid, we used to buy road maps at the gas station while on vacation and travel like pirates.

Go away: Ja Morant

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A simulation of an artificial intelligence-enabled drone tasked with destroying surface-to-air missile (SAM) sites turned against and attacked its human user, who was supposed to have the final go- or no-go decision to destroy the site. The AI system learned that its mission was to destroy SAM, and it was the preferred option. But when a human issued a no-go order, the AI decided it went against the higher mission of destroying the SAM, so it attacked the operator in simulation.

I guess the Denver Nuggets won game 1 of the NBA Finals last night. So I hear.

On this day: June 2, 1835, P.T. Barnum and his circus begin first tour of the U.S. Also, June 2, 1989, 14-year-old Scott Isaacs spells “spoliator” to win 1989 Spelling Bee

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: 14-year-old Scott Isaacs spells “spoliator” to win 1989 Spelling Bee

Article I’ll skip: 83-year-old Al Pacino allegedly asked 29-year-old girlfriend for a paternity test. (Atta boy!)

Good news: I’m working on something, really…

Trivia #1 answer: Which NBA team was the first expansion team to win the NBA Finals? – Chicago Stags, Washington Capitols, Syracuse Nationals, Baltimore Bullets, Whittier Tech – Baltimore Bullets
Trivia #2 answer: Which Red Sox player holds the franchise record for single-season ERA? – Cy Young, Dutch Leonard, Roger Clemens, Clay Buchholz, Curt Schilling – Dutch Leonard (0.96 in 1914)
Trivia #3 answer: The term “Artificial Intelligence” was coined in what year? – 1955, 1959, 1962, 1967, 1970, 2022 – 1955 by John McCarthy
Trivia #4 answer: Who wrote “I Can’t Stop Lovin’ You? – Ray Charles, Don Gibson, Marvin Gaye, Aretha Franklin, Jim Reeves – Don Gibson (1958)

Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so maybe calm down.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Leave the Office Early Day!

“Those happy hours that we once knew
Tho’ long ago, they still make me brlue
They say that time heals a broken heart
But time has stood still since we’ve been apart”

Don Gibson – performed by Ray Charles

Briefly. (The ocean calls)

A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF

Trivia #1: Who was the first artist to have a top 40 hit in seven consecutive decades?
Trivia #2: What city is known as the birthplace of Memorial Day? – no hints/multiple choice

Go away: LeBron James

Here’s a reminder before you lose your shit today. They don’t serve alcohol in prison.

On this day: May 26, 1897, Irish writer Bram Stoker published the Gothic horror classic Dracula, which became the basis for an entire genre of literature and films about vampires.

Article I’ll skip: Kids need to be kids in America, said Orlando cab driver troubled by the trans agenda

Good news: The Lakers were swept by the Denver Nuggets

Speaking of the Celtics… they live on.

Speaking of the NHL… I hate when Bruins’ fans say that they’ll feel better if the Florida Panthers win it all because they beat the Bruins. Bullshit. Nothing can make me feel better about their losing this year.

R.I.P. Rick Hoyt (61) due to complications with his respiratory system – Boston Marathon icon was a longtime staple on the Boston course, pushed in his wheelchair by his father Dick for decades. Rick was also a pioneer in education. His mother, Judy Hoyt changed the laws allowing her son to be educated alongside his nondisabled peers.
R.I.P. Tina Turner (83) – American—born Swiss singer known as the “Queen of Rock ‘n Roll.” She rose to prominence as the lead singer for the Ike & Tine Turner Revue before launching a successful career as a solo performer. Two-time Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee, also inducted to the Soul Music Hall of Fame and the St. Louis Classic Rock Hall of Fame.

Trivia #1 answer: Who was the first artist to have a top 40 hit in seven consecutive decades? – Tina Turner
Trivia #2 answer: What city is known as the birthplace of Memorial Day? – no hints/multiple choice – Waterloo, New York

Listen, if drunk me said or did something, you gotta take it up with drunk me. Don’t come at sober me because we weren’t there. We don’t know what happened.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Paper Airplane Day!

“Big wheel keep on turning
Proud Mary keep on burning
We’re rolling, rolling
Rolling on the river
Liston to the story”

– Creedence Clearwater Revival – Performed by Tina Turner

Briefly.

I had a job interview yesterday and was hired on the spot. The manager said, “I will start you off at $15/hour and in 6 months, I’ll increase it to $25/hour. When can you start?” I said, “In 6 months.”

Trivia #1: Who were the only two teams from 1975-88 – a span covering 28 playoff series – that held homecourt playoff advantage in a post-season series vs. the Boston Celtics? Bonus: name the years – A) 76ers/Lakers, B) Bucks/Bullets, C) Bucks/Lakers, D) 76ers/Bucks
Trivia #2: Which player was the first to win two NBA Finals MVP awards? – Wilt Chamberlain, Michael Jordan, Willis Reed, Larry Bird, Satch Sanders
Trivia #3: Two players have won the PGA Championship five times, name the two – Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus, Tom Watson, Sam Snead, Walter Hagen, Arnold Palmer, Dane Hubbard

Go away: Dylan Mulvaney

Speaking of Dylan, Bud Lite sales were down for the fifth straight week, down 23.6% in the week ending May 6.

If you ever need me, I’m always just 3 missed calls and 4 text messages away.

On this day: May 19, 1884, the Ringling Brothers circus premieres. Also, on May 19, 1906, the Federated Boys’ Club (Boys’ Club of America) organizes

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Voice clones and chatbots are allowing scammers to trick the elderly into making them believe they are talking to a relative or close friend, which leaves them vulnerable to theft. “Imposter” scams lead to about $2.6 billion in losses every year and the elderly are particularly at risk now that scammers have access to voice-clone technology.

Of course the NBA wants a Celtics/Lakers final. The immediate problem though is that the Celtics lost game one of their series with the Heat and the Nuggets lead the Lakers 2-0 in the West.

In Bruins news, they are out and now the Kraken is out. I’m out.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Eric Cole, all 5’9” 155 lbs of him, leads the PGA Championship after round one, with play suspended due to darkness. (I’m going to go out on a limb and say he doesn’t win)

Article I’ll skip: Security experts weigh in on Harry, Meghan moving to taxi during alleged chase

The $2.2 million 1,914 hp Rimac Nevera set 23 speed records on a German test track on April 30. The Nevera sprinted to 60 mph in 1.74 seconds, beating the 1.79-second mark set last year by the Pininfarina Battista, which is built on the same battery-powered platform. It also ran a quarter-mile in 8.25 seconds and a half-mile in 12.82 seconds, the latter of which about as quick as it would cover the distance in a free fall. Its braking prowess was demonstrated with a run from 0 mph to 249 mph and back to 0 mph that it completed in 29.93 seconds, more than a second quicker than the previous record. Wowza!

I still can’t get over the fact that the Bruins are finished and the Celtics are in the conference finals.

They said it: “If a man wants to pretend he’s a woman, that’s up to him. But if he wants us to pretend he’s a woman, that’s up to us.” – anonymous

Good news: Actor and humanitarian Gary Sinise will hold a “Welcome Home” concert next week for those who served in Vietnam to show his Gratitude to veterans. Sinise’s band, the Lt. Dan Band, which he has been performing for nearly 20 years, will share the stage with actor and director Joe Mantegna as well Medal of Honor Recipient, Vietnam Vet Sammy Davis. Eleven POWs will also attend.

Man, do we need rain up here in the northeast. Let it rain, baby!

Meanwhile, torrential rain inundated parts of northern Italy, killing at least 11 people and forcing thousands to evacuate. The death toll from the severe flooding that ravaged parts of northern Italy this week rose to 13 on Thursday.

People often ask me, not really, how is Shohei Ohtani doing? Right now, he’s 5-1 with a 3.23 ERA, 0.91 WHIP and 66 strikeouts in 53 innings on the mound. At the plate, he’s hitting .303/.377/.555 with eight doubles, two triples, nine homers, 29 RBI and 25 runs. He’s stolen six bases, too. Stud.

R.I.P. Doyle Brunson (89) – was an American poker player who played professionally for over 50 years. He was a two-time World Series of Poker (WSOP) Main Event Champion, a Poker Hall of Fame inductee, and the author of several books on poker. Brunson was the first player to win $1 million in poker tournaments.


Trivia #1 answer: Who were the only two teams from 1975-88 – a span covering 28 playoff series – that held homecourt playoff advantage in a post-season series vs. the Boston Celtics? Bonus: Name the years – A) 76ers/Lakers, B) Bucks/Bullets, C) Bucks/Lakers, D) 76ers/Bucks – 76ers (’77) and Lakers (’87)
Trivia #2 answer: Which player was the first to win two NBA Finals MVP awards? – Wilt Chamberlain, Michael Jordan, Willis Reed, Larry Bird, Satch Sanders – Willis Reed (with the Knicks in ’70 & ’73)
Trivia #3 answer: Two players have won the PGA Championship five times. Name the two – Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus, Tom Watson, Sam Snead, Walter Hagen, Arnold Palmer, Dane Hubbard – Walter Hagen and Jack Nicklaus

I tried to re-marry my ex-wife but she figured out I was only after my money.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Pizza Party Day!

“Let it rain, let it rain
Let your love rain down on me”

– Eric Clapton

Briefly.

And Jesus came upon me. He sat next to me on the couch, put one arm over my shoulder and took my phone with the other hand. He grinned as he scrolled through my phone showing me the memes I had stored, all the while explaining to me why I can’t go to heaven.

Trivia #1: Who was Simka Gravas?
Trivia #2: Only four players in NLB history have stolen second, third and home in the same inning, more than once in their career. Which of the following did not, name two? – Honus Wagner, Max Carey, Jackie Tavaner, Pete Rose, Ty Cobb, Rod Carew
Trivia #3: Who is the only player to play quarterback in the Super Bowl, Rose Bowl and Grey Cup?
Trivia #4: Who is the last switch-hitter to win the American League MVP?

How are y’alls summer bodies coming along? Mine’s looking like I have a great personality.

On this day: May 12, 1812, the Waltz was introduced into English ballrooms; some observers consider it disgusting and immoral. (some things never change, eh)
May 12, 1997, chess-playing computer Deep Blue, developed by IBM, defeats Chess Grandmaster Garry Kasparov 3.5-2.5.

Also, on this day, in 1893, Henri Desgrange established world’s first bicycle world record, travelling 35.325 km (21.95 miles) an hour. My question, if it was the first world record, he could have been going three (3) miles per hour, correct???

Oh boy, how long is this going to last? Chris Sale hit 99 mph on his fastball the other night.

Through April 19, the Red Sox Masataka Yoshida had played 13 career games, securing a paltry .167/.310/.250 batting line (batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage) with one home run, adding up to a .560 OPS. But since April 20, Yoshida has turned a corner. He has a hit in all 16 games (this was through this past Monday) he has played since then, and his 28 hits and 48 total bases over that span are both most in MLB. He has a remarkably efficient .438/.479/.750 line with five homers since April 20 (1.229 OPS), leading all players with at least 40 plate appearances in both batting average and OPS. (he’s 0-9 since Monday, DOH!)

A bus carrying 60 passengers was making the hour-long journey from Jinotega to San Sebastián de Yalí in Nicaragua on Monday when the vehicle skidded off the road and plunged 165 feet down a ravine. While all passengers survived the initial terrifying drop, the bus landed in a coffee plantation field that was home to a number of disturbed – and angry – killer Africanized bees. Six people ultimately died from the killer bees’ stings and 14 others were hospitalized after the incident. (Imagine the screaming… Terrible!)

DYK: Horses sleep standing up and don’t worry about falling because of a system of tendons and ligaments that allow them to lock the major joints in their legs. (I’m here to educate)

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A second school district from Michigan has banned students from carrying backpacks on school premises after a third-grade student was found with a loaded gun. It was the fourth such incident already this year in which a student was found with a handgun.

You’ve heard people say, “He’s got a boatload of money, or “She’s got a boatload of this or a boatload of that.” What if it’s a small boat?

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: TB12 facility on Boylston Street in Boston abruptly closes after 3-plus years.

Article I’ll skip: Robert De Niro joins Mick Jagger, Clint Eastwood, and Richard Gere becoming dads again after 65

Trivia #3 hint: If you were paying attention, you’d know he died this past week.
Trivia #4 hint: Kind of a trick question. If you were paying attention, you’d know he died this past week.

The New England Patriots open at home against two playoff teams, the Eagles and Dolphins, before traveling to the revamped Jets and Dallas. That is very possibly an 0-4 start. I hear the over/under is 7.5 wins. I’ll unfortunately take the under. There schedule is tied for the 3^rd hardest in the NFL, based on last years’ records.

The New York Giants play 7 of their first 10 games on the road, which is a first in NFL history since the league added bye weeks in 1990. The league has never forced a team to play on the road in seven of the first 10 weeks, let alone seven of their first 10 games. 

They said it: “We know that when you have a bad actor, and all they have is a single-shot rifle as opposed to an AR-15, they can’t kill as many people, and the AR-15 is nothing compared to what we are going to see from artificial intelligence, from the disruptive uses of these tools. Most of those people are responsible, most of those people will not try to disrupt, to destroy, but a lot of them will.” Ian Bremmer, founder and president of political risk research firm Eurasia Group. 

Good news: You may have seen that the COVID-19 Public Health Emergency ended yesterday, May 11, 2023. This means that many hospital policies made during the pandemic are changing. Now don’t get me wrong, it ended long ago. Nonetheless, Halleluiah!!!!

More good news: Every high school senior graduating in the state of Georgia this year, 120,000 students, has received a book titled “‘The Talk’ (about money), A Young Adult’s Guide to the ONE DECISION That Changes Everything.” – Now it appears that the crux of the book regards decisions on how to handle income from their first “Real” job. I’m hoping there’s some mention of college expenses, maybe like; “Hey, think about student debt and know that Big Brother ain’t paying anymore.”

In Bruins’ news, the Celtics live another day.

R.I.P. Denny Crum (86) – Coached Louisville men’s basketball from 1971-2001 and to the 1980 and 1986 NCAA Championships. Admirably labeled “Cool Hand Luke” by former commentator Al McGuire, he was inducted into the Naismith Memorial Hall of Fame in 1994.
R.I.P. Vida Blue (73) – Left-hander for the Oakland A’s, in 1971 went 24-8 with a 1.82 E.R.A.

that season, spinning 24 complete games and eight shutouts and working 312 innings, the most in nearly 60 years by a pitcher in his first full season. He won the American League’s Most Valuable Player Award and the Cy Young. Blue lost his first start that season and then won eight in a row, all complete games. From June 1 through July 21, he averaged more than nine innings in a stretch of 11 starts (twice he went 11 innings).

Trivia #1 answer: Who was Simka Gravas? – Simka was the wife of Latka Gravas in the hit show “Taxi” which ran from 1978 to 1982.
Trivia #2 answer: Only four players in NLB history have stolen second, third and home in the same inning, more than once in their career. Which of the following did not, name two? – Honus Wagner, Max Carey, Jackie Tavaner, Pete Rose, Ty Cobb, Rod Carew – Pete Rose, Rod Carew (each did it once, Rose did it 43 years ago today)
Trivia #3 answer: Who is the only player to play quarterback in the Super Bowl, Rose Bowl and Grey Cup? – Joe Kapp
Trivia #4 answer: Who is the last switch-hitter to win the American League MVP? – Vida Blue

I was offered sex the other day with a Victoria Secret model. In exchange, I was supposed advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner on my Facebook page. Of course, I declined because I am a person of high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the incredibly strong bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon scent and vanilla.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Limerick Day! (There once was a man from Nantucket…)

“Some people think they’re gonna die someday
I got news, ya never got to go”

– “Terrible” Ted Nugent
Great/Classic tune, if you have 10+ minutes

Briefly.

It’s like my mom always told me, “You might not be the dumbest guy in the world, but you better hope he doesn’t die.”

Trivia #1: Who is Ludvig Aberg?
Trivia #2: Who is Olivia Pichardo?
Trivia #3: Two jockeys have 5 career Kentucky Derby wins. Which two? – Angel Cordero Jr., Bill Shoemaker, Bill Hartack, Earle Sande, Victor Espinoza, Eddie, Arcaro, Mike Smith
Trivia #4: Bill Shoemaker holds the title as the oldest jockey to win the Kentucky Derby at age 54. Alonzo “Lonnie” Clayton and James “Soup” Perkins hold the record as the youngest at what age? – 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20
Trivia #5: In what year was the Kentucky Derby cancelled due to inclement weather? – 1893, 1899, 1918, 1934, 1954
Trivia #6: What is another name for the Battle of Pueblo Day?

What is the leading cause of dry skin?… Towels

On this day: May 5, 1908, in the 34^th Kentucky Derby, Arthur Pickens aboard 66-1 chance Stone Street wins in muddy track conditions; 2:15.20, the slowest Derby in history
May 5, 1986, The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame announces Cleveland, Ohio as the site of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum

Go away: Jalen Brown. Well, not necessarily Brown himself, just lose the mask, will ya!

This just in, Warren Zevon is not on the ballot for the 2023 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction. Blasphemy!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Alexa monitors and learns your behavior and requests, then it knows what you missed. For example, the response to “Alexa, good night” might be, “You left the kitchen light on. Would you like me to turn it off?” – Freaky!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Kansas City Chiefs’ 38-35 victory over the Philadelphia Eagles on February 12 drew an average of 115.1 million viewers across all platforms, nearly 2 million more than Nielson’s previous announcement. The updated show that this year’s Super Bowl surpassed the previous record set in 2015, when 114.4 million people watched the Patriots beat the Seahawks in Super Bowl XLIX.

For the first time in NBA history a team from all 8 seeds made it to the semifinals: Denver (1), Boston (2), Philly (3), Phoenix (4), NY Knicks (5), Golden State (6), LA Lakers (7), Miami (8). (Should have been mentioned in useless information??)

Article I’ll skip: AI has Keanu Reeves, Harrison Ford and Elon Musk’s ex-girlfriend Grimes at odds over its use

They said it: “The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race.” British theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking during a BBC interview… in 2014.
They said it, part deux: “I simply write the songs about where I am and where I’m from. I take situations and write poems about them.” – Gordon Lightfoot

Good news: I think, technology-wise. The remains of a 79-year-old man, missing for nearly 10 months, were found in a dense, swampy area after an aerial drone search pinpointed a skeleton and clothing.
Good news, part deux: At the end of his pregame press conference following Game 1 versus the Celtics, ex-Celtics coach Doc Rivers took a few minutes to remember Heather Walker, the late Celtics executive who died last week after a battle with glioblastoma. The Celtics left a seat open for Walker in the media section of TD Garden as a tribute. They also wore shooting shirts with Walker’s initials ahead of Game 1 of the Eastern Conference semifinals against the 76ers.

In Bruins’ news…

Damn. Now even Meg Ryan looks old.

R.I.P. Gordon Lightfoot (84) – Canada’s legendary folk singer-songwriter. Considered one of the most renowned voices to emerge from Toronto’s Yorkville folk club scene in the 1960s, Lightfoot went on to record 20 studio albums and pen hundreds of songs. Once called a “rare talent” by Bob Dylan, dozens of artists have covered his work, including Elvis Presley, Barbra Streisand, Harry Belafonte, Johnny Cash, Anne Murray, Jane’s Addiction and Sarah McLachlan. In 1986, he was inducted into the Canadian Recording Industry Hall of Fame, now the Canadian Music Hall of Fame. He received the Governor General’s award in 1997 and was ushered into the Canadian Country Music Hall of Fame in 2001.

Trivia #1 answer: Who is Ludvig Aberg? – The Texas Tech University student, from Sweden, is the number one player on the World Amateur Golf Ranking. He defended the Big 12 Men’s Championship winning by 8 shots and smashed the previous Big 12 scoring record by 11 shots with his 72-round score of 265 after rounds of 67, 66, 63 and 69.
Trivia #2 answer: Who is Olivia Pichardo? – from Brown University, she is the first woman to play NCAA Division 1 baseball.
Trivia #3 answer: Two jockeys have 5 career Kentucky Derby wins. Which two: Angel Cordero Jr., Bill Shoemaker, Bill Hartack, Earle Sande, Victor Espinoza, Eddie, Arcaro, Mike Smith – Bill Hartack and Eddie Arcaro
Trivia #4 answer: Bill Shoemaker holds the title as the oldest jockey to win the Kentucky Derby at age 54. Alonzo “Lonnie” Clayton and James “Soup” Perkins hold the record as the youngest at what age? – 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 – They were both 15 years old, Clayton (1892) and Perkins (1895)
Trivia #5 answer: In what year was the Kentucky Derby cancelled due to inclement weather? – 1893, 1899, 1918, 1934, 1954 – The Kentucky Derby has never been cancelled due to inclement weather
Trivia #6 answer: What is another name for the Battle of Pueblo Day? – Cinco de Mayo

Police have confirmed that the man who fell from the 18^th floor nightclub was not a bouncer.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Hoagie Day! Oh, and that Cinco de Mayo-thing.

“Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
The searchers all say they’d have made Whitefish Bay
If they’d put fifteen more miles behind her
They might have split up or they might have capsized
They may have broke deep and took water
And all that remains is the faces and the names
Of the wives and the sons and the daughters”

– Gordon Lightfoot