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Have you ever looked at someone and thought “shut the hell up.” And they weren’t even speaking!
Good morning. What a glorious day for the 28th annual Charlie Penta Memorial Golf Tournament – Penta XXVIII. Today, 338 golfers strewn over two golf courses will golf, laugh, party and together raise funds to be dispersed to the tune of $15,000 across four scholarships to Haverhill High School student athletes. The memory of Charlie Penta lives on throughout this special event. Here’s to Charlie!
What a night for Boston sports fans on Wednesday night as the Red Sox rallied from a 3-run deficit to beat the NL leading Phillies 8-6, Tom Brady was inducted into the New England Patriots Hall of Fame and the Celtics came back from an earlier deficit to beat the Mavericks and take a commanding 3-0 in the NBA Finals!
Luca Doncic should shave his head and start over. That hairdo ain’t cutting it.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: For the first time in their history the Red Sox played both the AL leading team and the NL leading team in the same homestand.
My apologies for the abbreviated version today.
As Huskers’ coach Norman Dale (Gene Hackman) once said: “I apologize for nothing.”
You’ve got to bleed for the dancer.
Good news: Suspected opioid-related deaths in Massachusetts dropped 10% in 2023.
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Cucumber Day! (And Happy Flag Day!)
“Take my hand, my child of love, come step inside my tears Swim the magic ocean I’ve been crying all these years With our love we’ll ride away into eternal skies A symptom of the universe and love that never dies”
I told my suitcases no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
Trivia #1: Who was the 1st US President to appear on color TV? What year? Trivia #2: When the last time a team was swept in the Stanley Cup Final? Trivia #3: The Boston Celtics ran off eight consecutive NBA championships until which team ended their streak in 1966-67?
Nachos are just tacos that don’t have their life together.
Good night for Boston fans as the Celtics took game 1 while thrashing the Mavericks 107-89 and the Red Sox punded the White Sox 14-2.
On this date: June 7, 1942, the Battle of Midway ends: Admiral Chester Nimitz wins 1st World War II naval defeat of Japan June 7, 1970 – British rock band The Who’s perform their rock opera “Tommy” at the Metropolitan Opera House at NYC’s Lincoln Center June 7, 1989 – Wayne Gretzky wins his 9th NHL Hart (MVP) Trophy in 10 years
Well, the Red Sox were 9-0 on Sundays. You’re welcome.
Are you one of the lucky ones who have invested in Nvidia, a world leader in AI computing? The stock is u over 140% this year, shares have gained more than 3,300% in the last five years and the company announced a 10-for-1 stock split today!
Go away: Hunter Biden. Really, get off of my television and get out of my news feeds.
Life ain’t nothin’ but a funny, funny riddle.
Stop complaining: More than half of U.S. workers cannot afford to rent a one-bedroom apartment while only working one full-time job.
Hey, did you hear? A SpaceX Starship launched and landed without blowing up!
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Some 14,000 student-athletes who played and learned from 1026 to now will divvy up $2.8 billion in damages from the name, image and likeness money they were denied and, going forward, schools will figure out how to divide around $20 million a year in historic revenue-sharing arrangement.
Look, I get it. The land looks beautiful after a good snowstorm, a blanket of white against a clear blue sky but, let me tell you. I like a blanket of fresh green grass, pastures, beautifully manicured golf courses too. Plus, it ain’t so cold outside!
Article I’ll skip: What Lakers could possibly expect from Dan Hurley-led team
Good news: The Celtics’ Kristaps Porzingis is back! (20 points in 21 minutes last night off the bench)
R.I.P. Larry Allen (52) – One the NFL’s the greatest offensive lineman (Dallas Cowboys) with All-Decade honors in the 1990s and 2000s and 11 Pro Bowls. His six consecutive First-Team All-Pro nods solidified him as one of the game’s nearly unstoppable forces — as did his average of 3.2 sacks allowed per season and only 13 holding penalties in 207 starts.
Trivia #1 answer: Who was the 1st US President to appear on color TV? What year? – Dwight D. Eisenhower in 1955 Trivia #2 answer: When the last time a team was swept in the Stanley Cup Final? – The Red Wings swept the Washington Capitals in 1988 Trivia #3 answer: The Boston Celtics ran off eight consecutive NBA championships until which team ended their streak in 1966-67? – The Philadelphia 76ers
Fitness is 20% exercise and 80% nutrition. You can’t outrun your fork.
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Donut Day!
“Did you pay your dues? Did you read the news This morning when the paper landed in your yard? Do you know their names? Can you play their games Without losin’ track And coming down a bit too hard?”
Somewhere, somebody out there is thinking of you and the tremendous impact you made on their life. It’s not me… I think you’re an idiot.
Trivia #1: What is the Walter Cup? Bonus: Who is it named after? Trivia #2: Which of the following teams was NOT a Negro League baseball team? – Atlanta Black Crackers, Homestead Grays, Cleveland Black Barons, New York Cubans, Pittsburgh Crawfords, Indianapolis Clowns Trivia #3: Last night’s Rolling Stones concert at Gillette Stadium was a milestone show. How many total shows have been at the venue? 75, 100, 125, 150, 175, 200 – Bonus: Who played the first show at Gillette?
I will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia.
On this date: May 31, 1879, Madison Square Garden opened May 31, 1893, Whitcomb Judson of Chicago, patents a hookless fastener (zipper) May 31, 1968, movie star James Stewart retires from the US Air Force after 27 years of service
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Red Sox are 9-0 on Sundays this season with a +38 run differential.
Go away: People who think others give a shit about how they feel about the Trump conviction
Stop complaining: You haven’t a clue what the person next to you is going through. It ain’t always about you.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: More than three-fourths of American adults believe that abuses involving the use of artificial intelligence systems will affect the outcome of the presidential election.
Your Boston Celtics are favored to win the NBA Championship over the Dallas Mavericks. Giddy-up! LFG!
A couple of weeks ago, I neglected to note the DOW Jones Industrial Average hitting the 40,000 for the first time. Well, it’s back down below 38,000. DOH!
Speaking of golf, Auburn beat Florida State the other day for the NCAA Golf Championship.
Defending yourself, you’re doing it wrong. A Michigan judge was astonished when a defendant charged with driving with a suspended driver’s license dialed into a virtual court hearing while behind the wheel of a car. So he revoked the defendant’s bond and ordered him to turn himself in to the Washtenaw County Jail by 6 p.m. that day.
Article I’ll skip: ‘Aliens’ that landed in family’s backyard used ‘cloaking device’ to hide from humans: expert
Tickets for Wednesday night’s Professional Women’s Hockey League (PWHL) championship game between Minnesota and Boston were going for as much as $3,930 apiece! Minnesota won 3-0.
They said it: “The Celtics gave me not only my career back… they gave me my life back.” – Bill Walton
Good news: Tilton Elementary School, in Haverhill, held its annual Memorial Day Concert last week. Most of the 456 students attended and several fourth graders addressed the crowd and spoke of the history of Memorial Day and its importance to our nation while recognizing the sacrifices made by members of the military. Hey, at least some kids in our country are being taught correctly!
R.I.P. Grayson Murray (30) – Grayson was the second-youngest golfer in history to make the cut on the Korn Ferry Tour before eventually turning pro in 2015. He was a 3-time winner on the Kron Ferry Tuor and 2-tme on the PGA tour. He withdrew from the Charles Schwab Challenge during the second round last Friday citing an illness. Grayson died by suicide. R.I.P. William Theodore “Bill” Walton III (71) – Bill was eulogized this past week as a 6-foot-11 hippie covered in tie-dye T-shirts Grateful Dead tunes. But he was so much more. He was the first and only high school player to ever make the USA Senior Men’s National Basketball Team and play in the World Championship and/or Olympics. He still holds the national all-time high school record for field goal percentage at 79 percent and is still the No. 3 all-time rebounder nationally in the history of high school basketball. He is in the National High School Sports Hall of Fame. He won the NCAA Player of the Year Award all three years he played in college (UCLA), which has led to his induction into the UCLA Hall of Fame. Walton was the starting center under John Wooden’s teams that compiled an 88-game winning streak, and brought the Bruins two undefeated championship seasons. He is a member of the NCAA’s All-Time Basketball Team. He earned Academic All-America honors all three years, and went on to become a member of the Academic All-America Hall of Fame in 1994. Walton was drafted No. 1 overall in the 1974 NBA Draft by the Portland Trailblazers, and was the Finals MVP after winning his first NBA championship in 1977. He was a Boston Celtic for his last four seasons and won his second NBA championship in 1986, the same season he also won NBA Sixth Man of the Year Award. Walton is the second of only five players in NBA history to lead the league in both blocked shots and rebounding in the same season. He was the NBA’s Most Valuable Player in 1977 and 1978 and he is a member of the NBA’s All-Time Team as one of the league’s 50 Greatest Players Ever.
Trivia #1 answer: What is the Walter Cup? Bonus: Who is it named after? – The championship trophy for the PWHL, named after the Walter family. LA Dodgers owner Mark Walter, PWHL’s primary financial backer, launched the league by buying out the rival Premier Hockey Federation in 2023. Trivia #2 answer: Which of the following teams was NOT a Negro League baseball team? – Atlanta Black Crackers, Homestead Grays, Cleveland Black Barons, New York Cubans, Pittsburgh Crawfords, Indianapolis Clowns – The Cleveland Black Barons (They were actually the Birmingham Black Barons, Cleveland did not have a team) Trivia #3 answer: Last night’s Rolling Stones concert at Gillette Stadium was a milestone show. How many total shows have been at the venue? 75, 100, 125, 150, 175, 200 – Bonus: Who played the first show at Gillette? – It was the 100th show at Gillette and the first was also played by the Rolling Stones.
I don’t always lose stuff, but when I do, it’s because my wife moved it.
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Macaroon Day!
“I’ve got ta cool myself down Stompin’ around Thinkin’ some words I can’t name ya Meet ya half way Got nothin’ to say Still I don’t s’pose I can blame ya”
I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.
Trivia #1: What is the significance of the phrase, “What hath God wrought” Trivia #2: From 1991 to 2014, there was a pattern of NBA Finals teams. The team was coached by Phil Jackson of was from one of which two states? Trivia #3: What is Waymo? Trivia #4: Which team has scored the fewest goals in a Stanley Cup Finals series since the best-of-7 format was adopted in 1939? – Boston Bruins, Detroit Red Wings, Montreal Canadiens, St. Louis Blues, New York Islanders
The Celtics are the best team in the NBA, when they want to be.
On this date: May 24, 1830, “Mary Had a Little Lamb” by Sarah Josepha Hale is first published by Boston firm Marsh, Capen & Lyon. May 24, 1988, John Moschitta sets record for fast talking; 586 words per minute May 24, 2018, world’s largest cat-proof fence (44 km / 27.3 miles) completed at Newhaven Wildlife Sanctuary, central Australia to protect endangered species
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Celtics are the 26th NBA team to win 64 games in the regular season. 15 of the first 25 went on to win the title.
Go away: Meteorologists. Amazing, after all of the technology and after all these years, they still can’t predict the weather. Actually, I guess their job is to predict the weather. Well, they do just that. So don’t I.
Stop complaining: Several tornadoes ripped a path of destruction across Iowa Tuesday afternoon and evening, leaving several people dead.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A storm chaser was pronounced dead after his car was blown off the road in Corning, Iowa.
Forget the beach, public parks, malls…, casinos may be the best people watching venues. Just sayin’.
How hot has it been? The extreme heatwave in Mexico is not only affecting the environment, it’s wreaking havoc on howler monkeys and causing them to fall dead out of trees.
The NFL is once again screwing the general public with its schedule for 2024. 5 of the games in week #17 are flexible in terms of start time as are all game in week #18.
Article I’ll skip: NFL commissioner sticks up for Chiefs kicker, praises ‘diversity of opinions’ in the league
Hmmm. There have been only 79 teams, thru 48 games, in the last 125 years with an ERA < 3.00 and a run differential >= 33. Only two of those teams had losing records, the 1945 St. Louis Browns and the 2024 Boston Red Sox.
They said it: “I’ve decided to retire from competitive eating. It’s all I’ve done for the last 20 years. I am worried about what my next step will bring, but I am also excited about my future. I have mixed feelings.” Japanese competitive eater Takeru Kobavashi has announced his retirement in a new Netflix documentary in which the six-time winner of the famous Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest revealed that he no longer has an appetite. He estimated that over the course of his 20-year career, he has eaten around 10,000 hotdogs.
Good news: Congratulations are in order for newlyweds Marjorie Fiterman, age 102, and Bernie Littman, age 100, of Philadelphia, who just got married on Sunday, May 19, at the senior living facility where they first met. They began dating nearly a decade ago.
Trivia #1 answer: What is the significance of the phrase, “What hath God wrought” – It was the first telegraph message tapped out by Samuel Morse on May 24, 1844 Trivia #2 answer: From 1991 to 2014, there was a pattern of NBA Finals teams. The team was coached by Phil Jackson of was from one of which two states? – Texas of Florida (go ahead, you, look it up) Trivia #3 answer: What is Waymo? – A subsidiary of Alphabet Inc. that makes self-driving vehicles. Trivia #4 answer: Which team has scored the fewest goals in a Stanley Cup Finals series since the best-of-7 format was adopted in 1939? – Boston Bruins, Detroit Red Wings, Montreal Canadiens, St. Louis Blues, New York Islanders – Montreal Canadiens (Two goals during a four-game sweep by the Red Wings in 1952)
My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance of idiots that needs work.
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Escargot Day!And Happy Memorial Day on Monday!
“Give me silver, blue and gold, The colour of the sky I’m told My ray-ay-ain-bow is overdue”
Do you ever come across some people who are just so wrong that you can’t even argue with them because the sheer amount of bullshit they are spewing is overwhelming?
Trivia #1: Tullamore D.E.W., great, smooth Irish whiskey… but I digress. What does the “D.E.W.” stand for? Trivia #2: On Wednesday night, the Celtics’ Al Horford became just the 3rd 37-plus-year-old (he’ll be 38 on June 3rd) to score 22-plus points with 15-plus rebounds and 5-plus assists. Who are the other two? Trivia #3: What is a tartan ribbon? Trivia #4: Which player won the PGA Championship in his first time playing in a major tournament? – Rich Beem, Keegan Bradley, Collin Morikawa, Gene Sarazen, Tiger Woods, Raymond Floyd, Dane Hubbard
On this date: Back to Henry VIII… May 17, 1536, Anne Boylen’s four lovers are executed, two days before she was beheaded. Boylen was a wife of Henry VIII, mother to future Queen Elizabeth I and Queen of England herself. May 17, 1792, four merchants form the New York Stock Exchange at 70 Wall Street. May 17, 1861, the first color photograph, of a tartan ribbon, is shown by Scottish scientist James Clerk Maxwell to the Royal Institution in London. May 17, 1986, the “Chicken Song” by Spitting Image hits #1 on the UK pop chart
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Brooks Koepka recently won his 4th LIV event
Go away: The Euro step (NBA)
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A Michigan woman was found living inside a sign on top of a grocery store recently. The unidentified 34-year-old woman, who police said was homeless, had not only been living inside the grocery store sign for a year, she also had a desk, a coffee maker, a computer and a printer. She was discovered when contractors at the Midland, Michigan, store noticed someone was running an extension cord up to the roof where there’s a plugin.
Our New England Patriots are tied for eight in strength of schedule heading into the 2024 season. They open against Cincinnati, have one (yes one) primetime game in week 3 on Thursday night against the Jets (unless you count Sunday morning at 9:30am in London as “primetime”) and have 12-1pm starts.
Frankly, I like the 1pm starts, just sayin’.
Showing gratitude, you’re doing it wrong. A New Mexico man shot his stepmother Wednesday as she was attempting to give him a hug during his high school graduation ceremony.
Article I’ll skip: Jersey sales for star Chiefs kicker surge after faith-based speech sparks strong reactions
Stop complaining: Unless you’re in Houston, TX, a storm system that threatened to produce torrential rainfall over East Texas, spawned severe thunderstorms in the nation’s fourth-largest city Thursday, causing at least four fatalities and leaving more than 1 million customers without power.
Not-good news: The Mirage hotel-casino will close its doors in July after 34 years of operating along the Las Vegas Strip in Nevada.
Good news: A major overhaul of the property will then begin, which will include refurbishing the resort and constructing a near 700-foot-tall guitar-shaped hotel on the site, similar to Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino near Hollywood, Florida. The 80-acre resort will be renamed as “Hard Rock Hotel & Casino and Guitar Hotel Las Vegas” (HRHCLV) with an opening date slated for 2027.
Husband to wife: Why don’t you ever tell me when you have an orgasm? Wife: Because I don’t like to bother you at work.
Trivia #1 answer: Tullamore D.E.W., great, smooth Irish whiskey… but I digress. What does the “D.E.W.” stand for? – DEW or D. E. W. are the initials of one of the greatest distillers Ireland has ever had, his name was Daniel Edmund Williams. This guy has an incredibly interesting story. He began working at the distillery as a stable boy at the age of 15 and went on to become Distillery Manager by the age of 25. (quoted directly from their website) Trivia #2 answer: On Wednesday night, the Celtics’ Al Horford became just the 3rd 37-plus-year-old (he’ll be 38 on June 3rd) to score 22-plus points with 15-plus rebounds and 5-plus assists. Who are the other two? – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and LeBron James (Al also had three blocks!) Trivia #3 answer: What is a tartan ribbon? – Tartan ribbons are an iconic symbol of Scotland and Scottish identity, and are used for a variety of purposes. Tartan ribbons decorate clothing to add color and texture to any outfit, while in the Scottish Highlands they are typically worn as part of traditional dress. Trivia #4 answer: Which player won the PGA Championship in his first time playing in a major tournament? – Rich Beem, Keegan Bradley, Collin Morikawa, Gene Sarazen, Tiger Woods, Raymond Floyd, Dane Hubbard – Keegan Bradley
Something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow.
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Bike to Work Day!
“And Harry doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the scene He’s got a daytime job, he’s doing alright He can play the honky tonk like anything Saving it up for Friday night With the Sultans With the Sultans of Swing”
– Dire Straits (Sultans of Swing) – Note: A little long, but I like it
I did it! Yet another personal record for consecutive days alive!
You come from dust. You will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.
Trivia #1: Who was the only U.S. president to be an only child? Trivia #2: UCLA has the most men’s NCAA championships in what two sports? Trivia #3: Hank Aaron hit 755 career homeruns. How many inside-the-park homeruns did he have? – 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8 Trivia #4: What is the nickname of Sacred Heart University? Trivia #5: Which of the following is NOT an xfinity channel? – Destination Europe, FanDuel TV, Jewish Broadcasting Service, Freeform, ZeeTV, SundanceTV
On this date: May 10, 1877, U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes has the first White House telephone installed. May 10, 1924, J. Edgar Hoover appointed first head of the FBI May 10, 1970, Bobby Orr scores famous OT-winning goal as the Bruins beat St. Louis, 4-3 for the 4-0 series sweep.
Wow! Listening to sports talk radio, friends and family, the local optimism regarding the Celtics and Bruins has taken a swift 180. What have you done for me lately?
Go away: Stormy Daniels (Unless you’re naked, then by all means, stay)
So, Iowa’s Caitlyn Clark’s GPA is 3.64. Not too shabby.
Resisting arrest, you’re doing it wrong: A Florida man was arrested earlier this week after biting a chunk out of a deputy’s head at an EDM music festival on Sunday.
The sunscreen I use says that it is vegan. I’m not going to eat it! What the hell does that mean?
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: This is the first time in history that all four Boston and Dallas teams reached the elite eight (Bruins/Celtics, Stars/Mavericks)
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: I recently sent a group email and one of the recipient’s was a guy who works for a local bank. He had an automatic reply set and the response email read: Jones, Joe (he/him/his) – name was changed to protect the innocent
So, of the protesters who are actually students, are we going to pay off their loans too?
Get this, 22-year-old Elly De La Cruz of the Cincinnati Reds is on pace for an unfathomable 42 homers and 94 stolen bases this season. He finished April with 8 homeruns and 18 stolen bases, becoming the first player on record to hit both those marks in any calendar month.
Fans of sriracha sauce may find themselves scrambling — again — to get a hold of the spicy condiment. Huy Fong Foods, a leading sriracha maker in California, is warning that a shortage is on the horizon, and it’s placing the blame on jalapeño chili peppers. The company told wholesale buyers that it has to halt production because the peppers aren’t red enough.
They said it: “For all you punks, idiots and jackasses on other networks, who want to be media and who want all the players to like y’all, do your damn job. The Lakers suck and the Suns suck because of the players.” – Charles Barkley
Article I’ll skip: Family’s claim of alien sighting “can’t be denied” after noticing previously missed detail
Good news: In great news for the climate, the rate of deforestation in the Amazon rainforest halved in 2023. This is the lowest rate of deforestation in 5 years for the world’s largest rainforest.
You remove your hat for the national anthem, good for you. Now do me a favor and remove it when you enter a funeral home. Really?
Trivia #1 answer: Who was the only U.S. president to be an only child? – No U.S. president has been an only child Trivia #2 answer: UCLA has the most men’s NCAA championships in what two sports? – Basketball (11) and volleyball (21) Trivia #3 answer: Hank Aaron hit 755 career homeruns. How many inside-the-park homeruns did he have? – 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8 – He had one inside-the-park homerun on May 10, 1967 Trivia #4 answer: What is the nickname of Sacred Heart University? – The Pioneers Trivia #5 answer: Which of the following is NOT an xfinity channel? – Destination Europe, FanDuel TV, Jewish Broadcasting Service, Freeform, ZeeTV, SundanceTV – Destination Europe is not a channel (although Destination America is)
I have a black eye in karate.
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Lipid Day! (really)
“I’ve seen your picture Your name in lights above it This is your big debut It’s like a dream come true So you won’t you smile for the camera I know you’re gonna love it, Peg.”
I’m getting some “likes”, feeling some love. Thanks to you…
Anyone interested in a ride in a helicopter? We need one person to accompany us. We leave early next Sunday morning from Burlington airport and will fly over the city and the lake, then fly to and have lunch in Plattsburgh. Then we’ll do a flight back to Burlington airport. If interested, please message me. Preferably someone with a helicopter, otherwise we can’t go.
Trivia #1: Who is Jaylen Key? Trivia #2: Brad Marchand recently passed Cam Neely with his 56th playoff goal, the most in Boston Bruins’ history. Which two of the following do not round out the top 5? – Johnny Bucyk, Phil Esposito, Rick Middleton, David Krejci, Patrice Bergeron
On this date: May 3, 1938, Lefty Grove defeats Tigers 4-3 for 1st of record 20 consecutive wins at his home field Fenway Park; he doesn’t lose there until May 12 1941. Wowza! May 3, 1967, African American students seize finance building at Northwestern University. Hmmm, sound familiar? May 3, 1991, future NHL HOF right wing Cam Neely injures knee on cheap shot by Ulf Samuelssin Wales Conference Finals; injury limits him to only 162 games for the remainder of his NHL career, retires at 31.
There were an estimated 700,000+ in attendance at the NFL draft in Detroit. That’s quite a party, probably quite the experience, but Detroit???
Go away: Anti-Israel protesters. Seriously, cut the crap and get back to class.
So little Yaz homered at Fenway. That is pretty cool.
Speaking of the NBA, congratulations to the Celtics’ Brad Stevens, the 2023-24 NBA Basketball Executive of the Year. Now let’s go win banner #18!
Stop complaining: Multiple tornadoes were ongoing simultaneously in Tillman County, Oklahoma, when the weather got weird. At least two of the tornadoes exhibited very odd behavior: one powerful tornado looped backward and recrossed its previous path and another significant tornado spun in the “wrong” direction. Oklahoma has seen more than two dozen tornadoes this past week.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The Toronto Maple Leafs are 2-9 in their last 11 Game 7’s on the road. (come on Bruins, don’t do it again!)
Speaking of the Celtics, the Red Sox have a two-game series at the Atlanta Braves next week, then a two-game series against Atlanta in June at Fenway. Those are the only scheduled two-game series for the Red Sox this season. Why does that bother me…?
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Anti-Israel protesters targeted the American flag on the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill’s quad — which had been flying at half-mast after four Charlotte officers were killed in the line of duty. At one point, they replaced it with a Palestinian flag.
Good news: A student who held up her own American flag at a North Carolina campus Tuesday, after an anti-Israel mob desecrated an American flag flying on campus. Until the flag was restored, two students held up another American flag – so that there was always one waving on the campus quad despite the attempts from anti-Israel agitators to remove the symbol.
They said it: “I would love to see Tyler O’Neil in the homerun derby.” – Dave Shea, Red Sox announcer. Dave, it’s April!!!
More good news… if you’re a Sox fan: The Red Sox finished April w/ their 6th shoutout – one more than the pitching staff recorded in all of 2023. They finish the month 4 games above .500 (17-13) matching their season high. The team ERA is 2.59, the lowest in baseball and the lowest Sox mark through 30 games since 1920.
Good news part deux: Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! Well, we didn’t beat them but at least someone else did!
Article I’ll skip: Longtime rumor about Marilyn Monroe confirmed on wiretap, book claims.
Last Sunday was Noah Kahan night at Fenway Park. Apparently, he is somebody. He even has his own bobblehead!
Good news: Disney parks will issue lifetime bans for people who lie about disabilities. Well, good! They should!
R.I.P. Michael Woelfel (75) – Oldest of the 12-sibling Woelfel clan, all-around great guy. He will be missed.
Trivia #1 answer: Who is Jaylen Key? – Alabama safety Jaylen Key was the last selection in the NFL draft (NY Jets), this year’s Mr. Irrelevant. Trivia #2 answer: Brad Marchand recently passed Cam Neely with his 56th playoff goal, the most in Boston Bruins’ history. Which two of the following do not round out the top 5? – Johnny Bucyk, Phil Esposito, Rick Middleton, David Krejci, Patrice Bergeron – Top 5 – Marchand (56), Neely (55), Patrice Bergeron (50), Phil Esposito (46), Rick Middleton (55)
Before I got married, I’d just smash into the back of cars because I didn’t have a wife to gasp, scream and hit the imaginary brake when someone else braked 3 miles ahead.
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National School Lunch Hero Day! (And I hope everyone has a great Derby Day tomorrow!)
“Saturday night I was downtown Working for the FBI Sittin’ in a nest of bad men Whiskey bottles piling high”
– The Hollies (Long Cool Woman (In A Black Dress))
My wife and I started role playing in the bedroom. Her go-to is “sexy librarian” where I have to sit quietly in the corner while she reads a book.
Trivia #1: Who is Chase Garbers? Trivia #2: Last Friday, the Red Sox had 3 different players <= 24 years-old hit a homerun in the same game since 1987: Ellis Burks, Mike Greenwell and who? Trivia #3: On April 26, 1912, the first homerun was hit at Fenway Park. Who hit it? – Casey Hageman, Tris Speaker, Hugh Bradley, Duffy Lewis, Ray Collins Trivia #4: What is the dirtiest river in the U.S.? – Mississippi, Ohio, Calcasieu, Tennessee, Cuyahoga, Red River
On this date: April 26, 1983, Stanford quarterback John Elway is the first pick in the NFL draft by the Baltimore Colts April 26, 1994, physicists announce first evidence of the top quark subatomic particle.
Speaking of the NFL draft last night, the biggest winner appears to be Bill Belichick. Why? Bill was not hired during the offseason by the Atlanta Falcons who pulled a big head-scratcher by selecting Washington quarterback Michael Penix with the 8th overall pick. Not only had they signed quarterback Kirk Cousins a few months earlier to a $180M contract, but Penix has torn his right ACL twice, once in 2018 and once in 2020 with Indiana, and he had a clavicle fracture in 2019 and an A/C joint separation in 2021. What?!
Miami’s 1st round selection, Demeioun “Chop” Robinson, got his nickname as a child. He was 14 lbs at birth and his mother called him “Porkchop.” He didn’t like that so he cut it down to “Chop.”
Go away: Gisele. Oh, poor Gisele. Everyone wants to take her picture. Poor Gisele.
This just in, the PGA’s Scottie Scheffler is pretty good. After winning yet again last week, Scheffler now has 35 top 10 finishes in his last 51 PGA tournaments.
April 2024 is Cancer Prevention and Early Detection Month.
There is no shame in taking the senior discount. If you have to be older, use it to your advantage.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: On April 26, 1994, physicists announce first evidence of the top quark subatomic particle.
Playoff NBA still can’t hang with playoff NHL.
Speaking of the Celtics, here’s a fun fact. The Celtics had more 30-point leads during the regular season than they had 10-point deficits. (They trailed by 10+ points Wednesday night. DOH!)
We need home court/ice advantage this, we need home court/ice advantage that. In the last 16 playoff games at the Garden, the Celtics are 4-7 and the Bruins are 1-4.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Researchers are warning that facial recognition technologies are “more threatening than previously thought” and pose “serious challenges to privacy” after a study found that artificial intelligence can be successful in predicting a person’s political orientation based on images of expressionless faces.
Heckling, you’re doing it right! Finn Turlington, who turned 18 in February, was heckled on the basketball court at his school. In an effort to taunt him, an opposing team passed around nude modeling photos of Turlington’s supermodel mother, Christy. (Hmmm, when’s the next game??)
Former Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Calvin “Megatron” Johnson got a bigger ovation at the draft last night than former Detroit running back Barry Sanders. If kids only knew…
Drake Maye. Meh
And Roger Godell was booed mercilessly every time he stepped to the podium. Ya, I grinned each time.
Shoot me. Bill Belichick has been tabbed to be a “a regular recurring part of” the “ManningCast,” where Peyton and Eli Manning dissect “Monday Night Football” in real time. I’d love to watch/listen to Belichick but those two make my skin crawl.
The United Football League (UFL) – 5 things to watch for in week 4. Oh, so I guess the season started??
Good news: By the time you read next Friday’s blog, Mel Kiper will have disappeared from our lives as he does every year after the NFL draft.
Many regions across the United States experienced “record-breaking high temperatures” in 2023 due to extreme heat, according to the CDC. Emergency room visits due to heat-related illness peaked in several regions in the U.S. and remained elevated for a prolonged duration compared to visits between 2018 and 2022.
Protesting, you’re doing it wrong. The man who set himself on fire outside the New York City courthouse where former President Trump’s hush money trial was being held has been pronounced dead. Maxwell Azzarello, 37, of St. Augustine, Florida, died Friday night from his severe burns after lighting himself on fire earlier in the day inside Collect Pond Park near the Manhattan Criminal Courthouse.
Article I’ll skip: Zac Brown Band founding member on technology that scares him to death.
Trivia #1 answer: Who is Chase Garbers? – Garbers is the starting quarterback for the UFL’s San Antonio Brahmas Trivia #2 answer: Last Friday, the Red Sox had 3 different players <= 24 years-old hit a homerun in the same game since 1987: Ellis Burks, Mike Greenwell and who? – Sam Horn Trivia #3 answer: On April 26, 1912, the first homerun was hit at Fenway Park. Who hit it? – Casey Hageman, Tris Speaker, Hugh Bradley, Duffy Lewis, Ray Collins – Hugh Bradley Trivia #4 answer: What is the dirtiest river in the U.S.? – Mississippi, Ohio, Calcasieu, Tennessee, Cuyahoga, Red River – The Ohio River (a lifeline for six states, the river battles a relentless foe: industrial pollution.)
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Help a Horse Day!
90% of a relationship is figuring out where to eat.
“Keep on smilin’ through the rain, laughin’ at the pain Rollin’ with the changes til the sun comes out again Keep on smilin’ through the rain, laughin’ at the pain Rollin’ with the changes, singin’ this refrain”
– Wet Willie (Keep on Smilin’)
If you’re too busy to watch this nearly 12 minute video, turn it up, listen and go about your business. Otherwise, enjoy and keep on smilin’.
Wife: “I was talking to you and you yawned six times. Am I boring you?” Husband: “Those weren’t yawns. Those were six unsuccessful attempts to speak.”
Trivia #1: Al Leiter made his major league debut in 1987 with the New York Yankees and ended his career with them also. What other team did Al throw a no-hitter for in 1993? Trivia #2: The Atlanta Braves Greg Maddux’s personal record for fewest pitches thrown in a complete game victory was: 77, 79, 82, 83, 87, 89, 93, 95, 100
On this date: April 19, 607, Comet 1P/607 H1 (Halley) approaches within 0.0898 AUs of Earth April 19, 1963, Johnny Cash releases single “Ring of Fire” April 19, 1965, at a cost of $20,000, the outer Astrodome ceiling is painted because of sun’s glare, this causes the grass to die. April 19, 1995, Timothy McVeigh sets a truck bomb at Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building, Oklahoma City, killing 168, including 19 children and injuring 500.
Bacon makes everything better.
Go away: Anything/Anyone to do with Robert Kraft and Bill Belichick. That ship has sailed as far as I’m concerned.
What a gem of a game the Red Sox’ Tanner Houck threw Wednesday night beating the Cleveland Indians 3-0. The game lasted one hour and 49 minutes, the shortest game since 2010, as Houck threw only 94 pitches while walking none.
Speaking of golf, as a public service, watch for those guys who take on their hat and run their fingers (using their right hand!) threw their hair before shaking hands with you after the round. Gross! John Rahm, and many others, are notorious for such act. I suggest quickly shifting to the fist-pump.
Stop complaining: Late last Sunday through Thursday, one year’s worth of rain fell in Dubai where at least 20 people were killed in flood waters.
April 2024 is Cancer Prevention and Early Detection Month.
Of the many things we learned watching the Masters last weekend, LIV golfer Cameron Smith didn’t get any better looking during the past year.
Tweet of the week: Israel has intercepted 99% of Irans’ missiles and drones. Antonio Brown: “Iran is starting quarterback Kenny Pickett.”
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: On April 19, 607, Comet 1P/607 H1 (Halley) approaches within 0.0898 AUs of Earth
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: NFL draft updates. Enough already! The draft begins next Thursday, let’s just get it done!
Wanna get away? How about whoever owned the car that had its alarm blaring during the Masters last weekend?
The Celtics begin their playoff run on Sunday versus… The Bruins take on the Toronto Maple Leafs (of the Original 6) in the first round beginning tomorrow night.
More useless information, supposed to spark my imagination: The Toronto Maple Leafs are part of the original 6.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Utah’s Nebo school district is pushing back on allegations from students about “furries” – people who identify as animals – in their middle school, with some rumors of animal-like “licking” and “biting.”
They said it: “I’ve had a speech problem coming on for the last year. There is nothing wrong with me physically and they can’t figure it out.” – Former Boston Bruins broadcaster Jack Edwards
Trivia #1 hint: It was the franchise’s first no-hitter.
On Wednesday, Jack Leiter made his major league debut with the Texas Rangers. He made Al & Mark Leiter the first MLB brothers to each have a son who made it to the show. Mark’s son Mark Jr. pitches for the Cubbies. (For the record, Jack got lit up for 3 2/3 innings, 8 hits, 7 earned runs, 3 walks and 3 strikeouts.)
Good news: NFL draft rumors will end in one week
Article I’ll skip: Blake Shelton says he would return to “The Voice” on one condition. (Spare me, Blake)
R.I.P. Dorrel Norman Elvert “Whitey” Herzog (92) – MLB manager for 18 seasons, compiling a record of 1,281-1,125 while leading the St. Louis Cardinals to pennant-winning seasons in 1982, 1985 & 1987, and a World Series title in 1982. He also managed the Kansas City Royals to division titles in 1976-1978, had his number (24) retired by the Cardinals and was inducted into the Hall of Fame. R.I.P. Forrest Richard “Dickey” Betts (80) – Betts, whose country-inflected songwriting and blazing, lyrical guitar work opposite Duane Allman in the Allman Brothers Band helped define the Southern rock genre of the ‘60s and ‘70s. (One of my favorite guitarists/bands, just sayin’)
Congratulations to Jack Edwards who has announced his retirement after a 19-year career as the Boston Bruins broadcaster. “My dream job,” said Edwards. (Are any of you working your “dream job???”)
Speaking of the Celtics, stayed tuned as play-by-play announcer Mike Gorman calls his final playoff series call with the Celtics. A “class act” like no other!
Trivia #1 answer: Al Leiter made his major league debut in 1987 with the New York Yankees and ended his career with them also. What other team did Al throw a no-hitter for in 1993? – The Florida Marlins Trivia #2: The Atlanta Braves Greg Maddux’s personal record for fewest pitches thrown in a complete game victory was: 79, 82, 83, 87, 89, 93, 95, 100 – 77
Wife to therapist: “I told him if anything happened to me, he should date other women.” Husband: “So I did.” Wife: “I meant if I died, Peter. I was stuck in traffic!”
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet Day!
“You’re my blue sky, you’re my sunny day Lord, you know it makes me high when you turn your love my way, Turn your love my way, yeah”
I love you all. Except you. You know who you are. Douchebag.
Trivia #1: Who is the oldest first-time winner of the Masters golf tournament, and who is the oldest second-time winner, pick two: Jack Nicklaus, Mark O’Meara, Tiger Woods, Ben Crenshaw, Gary Player, Dane Hubbard Trivia #2: How many players teed off in Masters for the first time yesterday? – 5, 10, 13, 15, 18, 20 Trivia #3: How many different lefties have won the Masters? Trivia #4: What two players are tied for having made the most consecutive cuts at the Masters (23)? – Fred Couples, Jack Nicklaus, Tiger Woods, Gary Player, Tom Watson, Fuzzy Zoeller Trivia #5: Jack Nicklaus, Gary Player and Tom Watson have been the starters at the Masters since 2022, the year Tom Watson joined them. Other than Lee Elder stepping in in 2021, Arnold Palmer was a starter from 2007-2016. Who was the starter from 1984-2002?
I have to give credit where credit is due. Outstanding job by the Red Sox organization on Tuesday honoring the 2004 championship team, Larry Lucchino, and Tim and Stacy Wakefield. If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend it.
By the way, did you realize the Red Sox honored #49, Tim Wakefield on April 9 (4/9)? Whoa…
On this date: April 12, 1811, the first U.S. colonists on the Pacific coast arrive at Cape Disappointment, Washington. April 12, 1945, US President Franklin D. Roosevelt dies in office and Vice President Harry Truman is sworn in as the 33rd US President. April 12, 1960, MLB Chicago White Sox owner Bill Veeck debuts “Exploding Scoreboard” at Chicago’s Comiskey Park April 12, 1961, Douglas MacArthur declines offer to become baseball commissioner
Well, another solar eclipse, another event where I heard of zero people being blinded by the sun. (Pretty cool event, tough)
Go away: OJ… finally
This just in, the PGA’s Scottie Scheffler is pretty good.
April 2024 is Cancer Prevention and Early Detection Month.
Old School: A brazen Los Angeles cash heist on Easter weekend in which thieves cracked a safe and got away with as much as $30 million is believed to be one of the largest such heists in U.S. history.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Cape Disappointment, Washington, sees about 2,552 hours of fog each year, the equivalent of 106 days, making it one of the foggiest places in the U.S.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: Bronny James, LeBron James’ son, will enter the NBA draft. Really, do people give a shit about Bronny?
The Celtics were spanked by the second place Bucks last night (2 games remain). The Bruins have a 1-point lead over the second place Panthers in the Atlantic Division with 3 games remaining.
Speaking of the Red Sox, here we go. After the aforementioned west coast swing, the Sox came back to friendly Fenway only to lose the first three games vs. Baltimore. We’ve been concerned about the Red Sox for a reason.
Last night, Sox’ pitcher Isaiah Campbell came on to pitch the 10th inning with the game tied at 4-4. Campbell proceeded to let up 4 hits and 5 runs in the 9-4 loss. U-G-L-Y.
Speaking of hockey, it does seem that we see many of the same schools in the NCAA Division I Men’s Ice Hockey Championship and this year did not disappoint as BC, Michigan, Denver and BU entered the “Frozen Four” last night. Tomorrow BC will take on BU in the final.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse:California GOP leaders are calling for more accountability after an audit released earlier this week indicated that the state spent around $24 billion to tackle the homeless crisis over the past five years but did not consistently track whether the huge outlay of public money did anything to actually improve the problem. The state auditor’s report found that despite roughly $24 billion spent on homeless and housing programs during the 2018-2023 fiscal years, the problem didn’t improve in many cities.
Good news: Would it be wrong to mention OJ here?
Article I’ll skip: Famed trial witness Kato Kaelin wonders if OJ Simpson ‘made peace with God’ on deathbed
The Red Sox Jaren “Duran” Duran finally listened to everyone and stopped dying his hair.
R.I.P. Paul Nissi (84) – Member of the Haverhill High School 1955 Massachusetts State football team, went on to play at Notre Dame (my uncle) R.I.P. Donald “Donny” White (85) – Quarterback of the same 1955 Haverhill School state championship football team, went on to play quarterback at Notre Dame. R.I.P. Larry Lucchino (78) – Died of congestive heart failure, was a three-time cancer survivor. The Boston Red Sox won three World Series championships under Lucchino’s time as the team’s president/CEO from 2002 through 2015. Lucchino is responsible for the construction or revamping of five stadiums: Camden Yards in downtown Baltimore when he was president of the Orioles; Petco Park in downtown San Diego when he was president and CEO of the Padres; Fenway Park; JetBlue Park at the Red Sox’s spring training facility in Fort Myers, Florida; and Polar Park, home of the Worcester Red Sox in the city’s Canal District.
They said it: “The eclipse could be a further indication of climate change.” – Sonny Hostin of “The View”
Trivia #1 answer: Who is the oldest first-time winner of the Masters golf tournament, and who is the oldest second-time winner, pick two: Jack Nicklaus, Mark O’Meara, Tiger Woods, Ben Crenshaw, Gary Player – Mark O’Meara is the oldest first-time winner (41 years, 89 days) and Ben Crenshaw is the oldest second-time winner (43 years, 88 days) Trivia #2 answer: How many players teed off in Masters for the first time yesterday? – 5, 10, 13, 15, 18, 20 – There were 20 Trivia #3 answer: How many different lefties have won the Masters? – 3 (Mike Weir, Phil Mickelson, Bubba Watson) Trivia #4 answer: What two players are tied for having made the most consecutive cuts at the Masters (23)? – Fred Couples, Jack Nicklaus, Tiger Woods, Gary Player, Tom Watson, Fuzzy Zoeller – Fred Couples (1983-2007) and Gary Player (1959-1982) Trivia #5: Jack Nicklaus, Gary Player and Tom Watson have been the starters at the Masters since 2022, the year Tom Watson joined the other two. Other than Lee Elder stepping in in 2021, Arnold Palmer was a starter from 2007-2016. Who was the starter from 1984-2002? – Sam Snead
Son: “Dad, I don’t like motorcycles as much as you do. Am I adopted?” Father: “Not yet, we can’t find anyone that wants you.”
Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.
Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)
Happy National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day!
“Nobody left to run with anymore Nobody left to do the crazy things we used to do before Nobody left to run with anymore”
– The Allman Brothers Band (No One to Run With)
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Ed's Head On Friday 