Author: fasted86

Briefly.

OK, March 17 has long since passed. Please resume to your normal nationality. See you all on May 5, when we’re all Mexican.

Trivia #1: Why is the “Green Jacket” presented to the winner at Augusta National?
Trivia #2: Who has held the most first, second or third round leads without winning a single Masters?
Trivia #3: Since 1960, Bruce Fleisher has gone the most years between Masters appearances (23). Which player is second and is playing this year? Bonus: How many years?
Trivia #4: Who is the oldest player to make the cut at Augusta?

Happy Opening Day, Red Sox fans!

Bob Uecker, 88, is heading towards his 52nd season calling Brewers games on radio, a job he plans to continue until he cannot do it anymore. He is coming off one of the most difficult periods in his life. It started back in October, when Uecker underwent a third knee surgery — a replacement of a previous replacement of his right knee. He then had two cancerous spots removed from his back. Then on March 11 his daughter Leann, whom Ueck and his wife Judy had been caring for, succumbed to ALS after a three-year battle.  I’m rooting for Ueck!

“He missed the tag!!!”

I’m not a fan of the DH. Having said that, I do like that yesterday the Angel’s Shohei Ohtani was removed from the game as a pitcher but was able to stay in the game as a DH.

The Red Sox will win 91 games this season.

Here in New England, I think the worst possible word used in a weather forecast is “raw.” I hate it when it’s raw.

I wish I had a gallery to stop some of my golf shots from going into the woods.

Speaking of which, I can’t believe it hasn’t happened yet but it’s going to. Someone is going to ping a spectator along standing out along the tee area. Like baseball, that will prompt “those people” to petition for nets and the way people watch golf will change. It’s going to happen.

Is Tom Watson not one of the classiest guys in all of sports?

“As Tiger Woods prepares to embark on another historical milestone to secure his sixth green jacket with a Masters win at Augusta National Golf Course this weekend, many fans of the power swinger will be watching along to see how his longtime girlfriend, Erica Herman, will be cheering him on to victory.” Ah no, not this guy.

Speaking of Tiger, one under yesterday. Impressive. He is in position to make the cut and then who knows. Should be fun.

It’s that time of the year, yes, the NFL draft and that means, Mel Kiper. Shoot me.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: President George W. Bush encouraged daughter Jenna Bush Hager to elope.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: The Red Sox play the Atlanta Braves again this season, home and away. Please, make it stop. No one cares.

Don’t miss out! U.S. residents have until April 18 to file their 2018 tax returns, which is the last day of the three-year window. Why am I mentioning this? The IRS revealed there is $1.5 billion in unclaimed tax refunds from 2018.

After North Carolina defeated Duke last Saturday, the cheapest tickets for the championship game on Monday dropped from $130 to $30.

Welcome to spring in New England where whatever coat you grab on the way out of the house, it’s the wrong one.

No, I wasn’t rooting for the UConn women in the NCAA basketball tournament. I imagine fans of teams other than the Patriots feel the same way. You’ve won your championships, now go away.

Article I’ll skip: Will Smith Oscar crisis handled by inner circle fighting to save the actor’s brand.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The College of the Holy Cross announced on Monday that its science complex will be formally known as the Anthony S. Fauci Integrated Science Complex starting on June 11, a date that coincides with Dr. Fauci’s 60th class reunion weekend.

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries and Eminen. I call it my trail mix.

Trivia #1 answer: Why is the “Green Jacket” presented to the winner at Augusta National? – The tradition of the Green Jacket at Augusta National Golf Club dates to 1937. That year, members of the club wore green jackets during the tournament so that fans in attendance could easily spot them if they needed to ask questions.
Trivia #2: Who has held the most first, second or third round leads without winning a single Masters? – Justin Rose
Trivia #3: Since 1960, Bruce Fleisher has gone the most years between Masters appearances (23). Which player is second and is playing this year? Bonus: How many years? – Luke List (17 years between Masters starts)
Trivia #4: Who is the oldest player to make the cut at Augusta? – Bernhard Langer (63 in 2020)

Happy National Empanada Day! (It’s Opening Day. I’ll settle for a hotdog)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Of all the things I value most in life
I see my memories and feel their warmth
And know that they are good
You know that I should”

– Black Sabbath

Briefly. (Have to get to the beach, you know)

Autopsy Club meeting Saturday. Open Mike Night. (It sucks to be Mike)

Trivia #1: You might be familiar with the term “neat” when it comes to ordering an alcoholic beverage. It means the alcohol, most popular being brandy or whiskey, is served straight up, no ice, not chilled, nothing added. Then there is the NEAT glass advertised as the best sprits glass available. What does NEAT stand for?
Trivia #2: What MLB catcher has caught the most games over the past three season?
Trivia #3: Which city hosted the most NCAA Division I men’s basketball championship games in the 20th century? – Kansas City, Indianapolis, Houston, Jacksonville, Miami, New Orleans, Lowell
Trivia #4: What was the last school to win back-to-back Division 1 men’s basketball championships? – USC, Texas, Florida, UCLA, Duke, North Carolina, Kentucky, Northern Essex

April Fools’! Some historians speculate that April Fools’ Day dates back to 1582, when France switched from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar, as called for by the Council of Trent in 1563. In the Julian Calendar, as in the Hindu calendar, the new year began with the spring equinox around April 1. People who were slow to get the news or failed to recognize that the start of the new year had moved to January 1 and continued to celebrate it during the last week of March through April 1 became the butt of jokes and hoaxes and were called “April fools.” These pranks included having paper fish placed on their backs and being referred to as “poisson d’avril” (April fish), said to symbolize a young, easily caught fish and a gullible person. Hey, I here to educate.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: See above

April really is the nuts though in terms of the greatest sports month. You have the Masters, NFL Draft, MLB Opening Day, NBA Playoffs (if you care), NCAA Basketball Championship(s), NCAA Hockey Championship, NHL Playoffs (OK, you have until May).

Tomorrow night’s North Carolina/Duke game is about as good theater as you can get. Tune in!

Overall on the Final Four? As mentioned previously, a Duke championship would be an incredible story with the whole ‘Coach K Thing’, but give me North Carolina as just the second #8 seed (lowest) to win it all.

As you saw in last week’s Friday blog, I’ve been on a bit of a Jackson Browne kick lately. Great talent, some outstanding tunes. Had I any talent back in the day, I never could have pulled off singing Browne’s “Running On Empty.” I mean: “In ’69, I was 6 and called the road my own…” Just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Article I’ll skip: Whoopie Goldberg goes off on ‘View’ co-host for slight against ‘Hollywood Elite’: ‘It really pisses me off’

Some Saint Bonaventure fans had a difficult time getting to the men’s basketball team’s semifinal game at MSG on Tuesday night. One bus caught fire, another lost its emergency hatch and later broke down and a third was pulled over state troopers. To make matter worse the Bonnies got crushed by Xavier.

There is no good breakfast bar. You now, when you’re running out the door in the morning but you need “something” quick in your stomach, something you can eat while driving? There are so many choices for breakfast bars but I think they all suck.

JetBlue Airlines advertises that their planes are equipped with hospital-grade HEPA filters that remove 99.97% of particles, bacteria and viruses. Oh, so .03% is the reason to continue to wear a mask? Sheer buffoonery!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A restaurant in France claims it was threatened by patrons who thought poutine, its signature dish, was named after Putin.

You know gas prices are high when the guy in the lifted truck isn’t revving his engine at Walmart during mating season.

Trivia #1 answer: You might be familiar with the term “neat” when it comes to ordering an alcoholic beverage. It means the alcohol, most popular being brandy or whiskey, is served straight up, no ice, not chilled, nothing added. Then there is the NEAT glass advertised as the best sprits glass available. What does NEAT stand for? – Naturally Engineered Aroma Technology
Trivia #2 answer: What MLB catcher has caught the most games over the past three season? – The Red Sox Christian Vasquez. MLB ran a list of the most underrated players at each position heading into the 2022 season and Vasquez was named for catchers.
Trivia #3 answer: Which city hosted the most NCAA Division I championship games in the 20th century? – Kansas City, Indianapolis, Houston, Jacksonville, Miami, New Orleans, Lowell – Kansas City
Trivia #4 answer: What was the last school to win back-to-back Division 1 men’s basketball championships? – USC, Texas, Florida, UCLA, Duke, North Carolina, Kentucky, Northern Essex – Florida (2006 & 2007)

Happy National Sourdough Bread Day!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo
You’re living in you own Private Idaho
Living in your own Private Idaho
Underground like a wild potato.
Don’t go on the patio.
Beware of the pool,
blue bottomless pool.
It leads you straight
right through the gate
that opens the pool.

You’re living in your own Private Idaho.
You’re living in your own Private Idaho.

– The B-52’s

Thought I was going to go all Jackson Browne on you, didn’t you? Not sure where my head is at today…

Briefly. (Have to get to the beach, you know)

Fun fact: A majority of archeologists are women due to their natural ability to dig up the past.

Trivia #1: What was the first school to have 20 Final Four appearances? – North Carolina, Gonzaga, UCLA, Kentucky, Duke, San Francisco, Northern Essex Community College
Trivia #2: What player holds the NCAA men’s tournament record for scoring in a single game? – Elvin Hayes, Bill Bradley, Michael Jordan, Austin Carr, Christian Laettner, Lew Alcindor

Research kills cancer.

Article I’ll skip: “As Saint Peter’s readies for Sweet 16, sport psychologist reveals why fans are rooting for the Peacocks” – Let me summarize the article that I didn’t read. People are rooting for the Peacocks because a) they are a 15 seed and b) they knocked off Kentucky.

The Providence Friars men’s basketball team traveled to Chicago for their Sweet 16 matchup with Kansas in the New England Patriot’s team jet. Cool for them.

I was on a hike and saw a sign that read “such-n-such – 6/10’s miles.” Being the wise-ass that I am, I said to my wife; “why don’t they just say 3/5’s miles?” Being the math teacher that she is, Kathy responded; “Because most people wouldn’t understand 3/5’s.” After a brief discussion we both realized that, unfortunately, she was probably correct.

The NFL’s AFC continues to get better. Yes, Tyreek Hill is still in the conference but now bolstering the Miami Dolphins offense. Along with Jaylen Waddle, Tua Tagovailoa (sp? – who cares) now has two legitimate weapons. I’m not sure if the Patriots signing of Malcolm Butler cures this dilemma…

Best T-shirt seen recently, on an 80-something year old guy: “It’s not a bald spot, it’s a solar panel for a sex machine.”

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: LeBron James is the 6^th player with three or more triple-doubles against his former team. Useless information.

The Boston Celtics continue to roll. Do you believe?

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Article title: Virginia judge says parents of 12 immunocompromised kids can ask schools to require masks.

Trivia #1 answer: What was the first school to have 20 Final Four appearances? – North Carolina, Gonzaga, UCLA, Kentucky, Duke, San Francisco, Northern Essex Community College – North Carolina
Trivia #2 answer: What player holds the NCAA men’s tournament record for scoring in a single game? – Elvin Hayes, Bill Bradley, Michael Jordan, Austin Carr, Christian Laettner, Lew Alcindor – Austin Carr, Notre Dame (61 vs. Ohio in 1970)

Have a crazy good day!

Happy National Lobster Newburg Day!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Doctor, my eyes have seen the years
And the slow parade of fears without crying
Now I want to understand

I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good without hiding
You must help me if you can

Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise to leave them open for so long”

– Jackson Browne

Briefly. (Have to get to the beach, you know)

Gas prices have skyrocketed so I am forced to again sell nudes. $5 to get one, $25 to not get one.

Trivia #1: What broadcaster is credited with associating the term “March Madness” with the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament?
Trivia #2: In 1940, Indiana University won the NCAA men’s tournament title under coach Emmett “Branch” McCracken. He is the youngest coach to win the title, at wht age? – 27, 30, 31, 33, 35, 39

And away we go! Two 12 seeds knock off 5 seeds and #15 St. Peter’s beats #2 Kentucky. Who around these parts, and elsewhere, didn’t like John Calipari during his run with UMass back in the late 80’s, early 90’s? Having said that I had no problem watching his Kentucky Wildcats go down last night. See ya!

My brackets? As if you care, one is trash, the other arguably had early potential.

As stated previously, often, I’m not a Duke fan but what a story that would be if Coach K goes out on top.

I want to get lost in your rock n roll and drift away…

Listerine claims it kills 99.9% of germs that cause bad breath, plaque and gingivitis. Why is there not mass hysteria about that .1% that even Listerine can’t kill?

Article I’ll skip: Mark Ruffalo, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Stiller and more sign letter protesting Canada Gas Pipeline. “Oh, Leonardo signed it, well!!!!” Please…

Go away, Tom Brady. I’ve always been a big fan and appreciate all that he has done in New England, but go away and stop with this Brett Favre bullshit. It’s embarrassing.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Minnesota Viking’s quarterback Kirk Cousins, that’s right Kirk Cousins, signed a $35M contract for the upcoming season, every penny of which is guaranteed.

I’ll admit I watch my use of toilet paper since the pandemic. I just do. But let me tell you, when on vacation the paper comes off that roll like there’s no tomorrow!

I sneezed while eating alphabet soup, took the words right out of my mouth.

Trivia #1 answer: What broadcaster is credited with associating the term “March Madness” with the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament? – Brent Musberger
Trivia #2: In 1940, Indiana University won the NCAA men’s tournament title under coach Emmett “Branch” McCracken. He is the youngest coach to win the title, at what age? – 27, 30, 31, 33, 35, 39 – He was 31

Happy Awkward Moments Day! (Now, this should be fun!)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“I’ve been to
Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota,
Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota,
Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma,
Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, La Paloma,
Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo,
Tocopilla, Barranquilla, and Padilla, I’m a killer.

I’ve been everywhere, man.
I’ve been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert’s bare, man.
I’ve breathed the mountain air, man.
Of travel I’ve a-had my share, man.
I’ve been everywhere.

(Not so) Briefly.

I’m glad I learned about parallelograms in high school math instead of how to do my taxes. It comes in so handy during parallelogram season.

Trivia #1: In what year was te granddaddy of all U.S. highways, Route 66, established? – 1923, 1924, 1926, 1928, 1931, 2011
Trivia #2: What is the mascot of Bellarmine University? Bonus: Where is the school located?
Trivia #3: What is the nickname for Furman University?
Trivia #4: What is a “Paladin?”

So it happened, and baseball is back! Ya, I’m still ticked off at both sides but I love the game and now the season will go on, apparently in its entirety. Both MLB and the Players Association need to sign off on the deal, but right now Opening Day is slated for April 7.

But really, folks. Saturday night we turn the clocks back and spring begins. Selection Sunday is this weekend and bracket-filling will soon follow. It is a glorious time of the year.

Remember, there was a time when we all chipped in $2 for beer and $1 for gas? That $1 for gas today wouldn’t get us around the block.

Speaking of college hoops, although I really don’t like Duke men’s basketball, I do respect coach K. Back to my now liking Duke (hater), seeing the team lose to UNC last Sunday in what was coach K’s last home game, really didn’t bother me. You might even say I was elated.

Chew on this: If Malcolm Butler doesn’t make that pick in the endzone, incredibly denying Seattle a Super Bowl win, does Russell Wilson get traded or would he have had more value to the franchise?

Speaking of NFL trades, how is former New England Patriot offensive coordinator Josh McDaniel feeling these days? Now the coach of the AFC West Las Vegas Raiders, he now has to face, twice per season, Patrick Mahomes, Russell Wilson, Justin Herbert and Kahil Mack.

Article I’ll skip: “Colin Kaepernick ‘still working’ in hopes of landing NFL job”

Go away, Syracuse men’s basketball coach Jim Boeheim. As their season ended yesterday with a 16-17 record, Boeheim’s first losing season in his 46 years, he still insists his son Buddy was wrongfully suspended after punching a Florida State player in the stomach on Wednesday. Arrogant prick.

Go away, part deux, John Kerry. Again, downplaying the crisis in Ukraine; “…while the Ukraine refugee crisis is a “problem” amid Russia’s invasion, it pales in comparison to the wave of migration that will come if climate change is not addressed.” Priorities, John, priorities.

There is the “agony of defeat” and then there is Furman University’s loss to Chattanooga in the SoCon tournament final this past week. Look it up.

People often stop me in the street, I never walk in the street, and ask: “Gee whiz, Ed. What is Tim Tebow selling these days?” – Tim’s new book is out “Mission Possible.” Says the former two-time national football campion, Heisman trophy winner, first-round NFL pick, former pro baseball player and ESPN contributor, “I believe that it is possible for every single one of us to have, to truly have, a life that counts. God created each of us to have a unique, awesome purpose, and it’s why we’re here.”

Believe it or not, the Boston Celtics sit atop CBS Sports’ NBA power rankings. Really.

DYK: Jayson Tatum/Kobe Bryant points, first 350 games, 24 or younger Jayson Tatum – 7,183 Kobe Bryant – 6,610. What does that mean, nothing really, other than Jason Tatum is pretty good.

Speaking of the Bruins, my “website of the week” is stanleycupofchowder.com. Check it out for all things Bruins.

Now that’s just stupid. Bellarmine University was promoted from Division II to Division 1 and its men’s basketball team won the Atlantic Sun conference’s tournament final, a victory which usually comes with the conference’s automatic bid to the NCAA tournament. However, the NCAA does not allow teams to play in postseason tournaments until their fifth season at the D-1 level. Now I can see that if they moved down a division, but up? I don’t get it.

Using a bad analogy can make you look like you aren’t the sharpest knife on the tree.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Well, Putin is still targeting civilians.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: Massachusetts DPH is set report new numbers regarding COVID-19 deaths that are 15% fewer than previously reported.

Russell Westbrook Westbrick, now that’s funny. What’s even funnier, at least to me, is that he genuinely hates the nickname and is speaking out. Lighten up, Rusty!

They said it: “If the audience doesn’t like it, that’s the f*n audience’s problem.” – Andrew Dominik, director of the upcoming Marilyn Monroe biopic, defending the film’s NC-17 rating.

Trivia #1 answer: In what year was granddaddy of all U.S. highways, Route 66, established? – 1923, 1924, 1926, 1928, 1931, 2011 – 1926
Trivia #2 answer: What is the mascot of Bellarmine University? Bonus: Where is the school located? – The Knights. The Catholic school is located in Louisville.
Trivia #3 answer: What is the nickname for Furman University? – The Paladins
Trivia #4 answer: What is a “Paladin?” – The Paladins are twelve fictional knights of legend, the foremost members of Charlemagne’s court in the 8th century. Or, a knight renowned for heroism and chivalry.

Happy ‘National Funeral Director and Mortician Recognition’ Day!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“And even though we ain’t got money
I’m so in love with you, honey
And everything will bring a chain of love
And in the morning, when I rise
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright”

– Loggins & Messina

Briefly.

What more can one say about Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky? A hero, a true leader of his people. He and all Ukrainians have been more than inspiring. We, speaking for all of us, pray for them.

One day I hope to be wealthy enough to not do a double take every time I see abandoned furniture on the side of the road.

Trivia #1: Clint Eastwood was drafted into the Korean War, Army, and served as what while training at Fort Ord in California: Lifeguard, wrestler, boxer, line cook, actor, photographer
Trivia #2: Zdeno Chara has now played more NHL games than any other defenseman. Which of the following is NOT in the top five? – Ray Bourque, Nicklas Lindstrom, Scott Stevens, Chris Chelios, Larry Murphy

MLB, and its players, suck. There are arguments for siding with the players in this lockout fiasco but let’ face it, they are all greedy, both sides, and that is always the bottom line. Now I am not on either side but… here’s an argument. The minimum salary for MLB is $575,000. The NBA – $925,258, NHL – $750,000, NFL $660,000. Now, back in 2012, MLB – $480,000 was the minimum, NFL – $390,000, NBA – $473,604, NHL – $525,000.

I’ve been bogie-free for more than four months!

Every time that I look in the mirror, all these lines on my face getting clearer… Said no one, ever.

Chew on this: In his first 33 career games, Bruins’ goalie Jeremy Swayman is #1, since 1930, in save % – .931 and GAA (goals against average) – 1.87.

Article I’ll skip: Tim Allen says Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is ‘definition of wrong’; ‘Full of anger and disgust’ – Tim Allen??? Who gives half a crap what he or any other actor/actress has to say about that topic?

Speaking of the Celtics, they are (had been) streaking. Before losing on the road last Sunday, The Celtics had won 7 straight road games by 9 or more points. The team never had more than 6.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The High Place Food Hall, Boston, opened this past week after a two-year delay due to the pandemic. The food hall features a champagne vending machine, pizza, a cocktail bar, coffee, burgers, a raw bar, sushi, donuts, gelato and more, and is now open following the lifting of the state’s mask mandate and vaccine mandate. Boston mayor Michelle Wu was there for the ribbon cutting ceremony, wearing a mask. DOH!

In case you hadn’t heard, the Super Bowl champion Rams’ wide receiver Van Jefferson’s wife gave birth to a son on this past Super Bowl Sunday. They named the boy ‘Champ.’

They said it: “A war is the last thing you need with respect to a united effort to try to deal with the climate challenge” – John Kerry. Priorities, folks.

Headline of the week: Airbnb is suspending all operations in Russia and Belarus – Ah, are they getting a lot of requests???

Volodymyr Zelensky – hero

Trivia #1 answer: Clint Eastwood was drafted into the Korean War, Army, and served as what while training at Fort Ord in California: Lifeguard, wrestler, boxer, line cook, actor, photographer – He was a lifeguard/swimming instructor
Trivia #2: Zdeno Chara has now played more NHL games than any other defenseman. Which of the following is NOT in the top five? – Ray Bourque, Nicklas Lindstrom, Scott Stevens, Chris Chelios, Larry Murphy – Nicklas Lindstrom (#6)

Happy ‘National Day of Unplugging’ – as you all read this on various devices…

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“I, I can remember (I remember)
Standing by the wall (by the wall)
And the guns shot above our heads (over our heads)
And we kissed as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall)

And the shame was on the other side
Oh, we can beat them forever and ever
Then we could be heroes, just for one day”

– David Bowie

Briefly.

May God, or whomever it is that you call out to, save us all.

Trivia #1: Going back to Monday, President’s Day. What sport did all of the following U.S. Presidents (Roosevelt, Eisenhower, George W, George H. W.) participate in – football, wrestling, cheerleading, baseball, boxing, swimming, rugby
Trivia #2: Playing only in the 1745-1975 seasons for the Oakland Athletics, what position was listed on the front of Herb Washington’s baseball card?
Trivia #3: What is the first element on the periodic table? – No hint. Either you know it or you don’t

Some people outgrow childhood shenanigans. Some of us master them.

Article I’ll skip: ANY concerning Aaron Rodgers. Add Antonio Brown to that list as well. “AB?” How about “A-hole!”

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The ink, coating films and the paperboard on which scratch tickets are printed are all nontoxic, nonhazardous, recyclable and biodegradable. It is a silicone, or wax-based, nonadhesive material that is tested and meets federal Environmental Protection Agency standards. Do you feel better now?

The debate rages on about whether it is fair for transgender females to compete against biological females. I don’t understand the argument and the recent Ivy Leagues swimming championships were a pretty good example where such athletes not only won their events, they broke records and dominated.

Quote for the week: “You know what they say? Blues musicians play 3 notes in front of 10,000 people, jazz musicians play 1,000 notes in front of 3 people.” – Steven Stills

They are one person
They are two alone
They are three together
They are for each other

A 41-year-old man, his 31-yeard-old wife, 1-year-old daughter and their dog were found dead on a hiking trail this past August near the Merced River in the Sierra National Forest. They were found more than 1.5 miles from where their vehicle was parked and had run out of water where the temperatures were as high as 109 degrees Fahrenheit, in an area with little shade. What are we thinking folks?!

Brittany Spears inked a contract with publisher Simon & Schuster valued at more than $15 million dollars. Some things are starting to make sense to me now.

Headline of the week: “Minnesota shooting outside funeral home leaves 1 man dead, 3 others injured” – OK, help me out. Doesn’t the shooting outside the funeral home leave 2 dead?

Thank God for the PGA! Last Sunday afternoon, my viewing choices were the NBA All Star game, some NAZCAR race, Bull Riding, the Olympics and the Genesis Invitational golf tournament. Saved!

Speaking of the PGA, where is the respect? Once known as a “Gentlemen’s Game” now sees the likes of Justin Thomas… wearing a hoodie.

Speaking of bull riding, the guy who chases down the bull after the bull throws the rider. Who wants THAT job?!

National Floors Direct boasts the following on their television advertisements: “We’ll beat anyone’s price by 15%, or it’s free!” – Think about that. Do they think we are all idiots? Here’s an assumed dialogue: “I saw your quote. I’m sorry but we can’t beat that price by 15% so we’ll just do the job for nothing.”

The 27 NBA players picked originally or via injury for the 2022 All-Star teams will make in salary, just this season – $741,569,672 total or $27,465,543 per player. Not a bad gig, if you can get it

Congratulations to the Haverhill High School basketball and hockey programs, both qualifying for post-season tournaments after both programs came in with less than promising preseason aspirations. Hillie pride!

I am intrigued by the Biathlon, the sport that combines cross-country skiing and target shooting with rifles. Who came up with THAT combo? How about an alternative “sport?” How about distance running and ax-throwing? Fly fishing and rock-skipping?

Speaking of the Olympics, Finland’s cross-country skier Remi Lindholm suffered a frozen penis in the 50km mass start race. Hmmm. Good thing he wasn’t competing in the biathlon, huh? It would have been pretty uncomfortable lying down with his rifle for the shooting aspect.

Trivia #1 answer: Going back to Monday, President’s Day. What sport did all of the following U.S. Presidents (Roosevelt, Eisenhower, George W, George H. W.) participate in – football, wrestling, cheerleading, baseball, boxing, swimming, rugby– They were all sports cheerleaders
Trivia #2 answer: Playing only in the 1745-1975 seasons for the Oakland Athletics, what position was listed on the front of Herb Washington’s baseball card? – “Pinch Run”
Trivia #3: What is the first element on the periodic table? – No hint. Either you know it or you don’t – Hydrogen (H)

Happy New England Clam Chowder Day!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Forgive me if my fantasies might seem a little shopwarn
I’ve sure you’ve heard it all before I wonder what’s the right form
Love songs written for you it’s been going down for years
But to sing what’s in my heart seems more honest than the tears

I am curious
Don’t want to hurry us
I’m intrigued with us
Ain’t this song a bust
I don’t care dark star”

p- Crosby, Stills & Nash

Briefly.

With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it’s only a matter of time until there’s a country song where a guy’s truck leaves him.

Trivia #1: Who of the following is NOT in the Beanpot Hall of Fame? – Jerry York (BC), Herb Wakabayashi (BU), Bob Sweeney (BC), Jack Parker (BU), Dan McGillis (NU), Lane McDonald (HU), Joe Cavanagh (HU)
Trivia #2: Who is Sofia Jirau?
Trivia #3: Who is the NHL’s all-time leader in overtime goals? – Wayne Gretzky, Brad Marchand, Sidney Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin, Jaromir Jagr, Sergei Fedorov, Mario Lemieux
Trivia #4: What college did the Rams’ Cooper Kupp attend? Bonus: What is the school’s mascot?
Trivia #5: (5, I know…) What team has the #1 pick in the upcoming USFL draft? – Birmingham Stallions, Philadelphia Stars, Michigan Panthers, Houston Gamblers, Lawrence Convicts

Maybe you know one, maybe you are one, but bear with me. Meteorologists suck. I mean does anyone hold these buffoons accountable?

The Winter Olympics are still going on. Norway has won a ton of medals.

Funny how, this year, Valentine’s Day fell the day after the football season ended. “Honey, I love you… now that football is over…”

5-star football recruit AJ Vinatieri, son of Patriots/Colts stardom, passed up scholarship offers from the likes of LSU and Indiana and will attend UMass Amherst. Cool (for us locals, that is)

Why is it that I take such pleasure in the misfortunes of others? Not only do I root for a crash in all those NAZCAR races that I don’t watch, but give me a good wreck when watching Olympic speed skating, downhill racing or luge/bobsled/skeleton. “The thrill of victory… and the agony of defeat!”

Yes, I know how to spell “NASCAR.” Above is simply an insult to those who refer to it as “sport.”

An 8-year-old kid asked me if Bingo is the name of a farmer or a dog and now I am questioning everything I thought I knew about life.

It looks as though MLB spring training is, at the very least, delayed for this season. The sides met yesterday for all but 15 minutes without progress. 15 minutes?! I have longer conversation with the paperboy!

To each his own, I guess. Prior to his execution in Oklahoma, Gilbert Ray Postelle’s (35) last meal included 20 chicken nuggets and an assortment of dipping sauces, three large fries with ketchup, a crispy chicken sandwich, a large cola and a caramel frappe.

Along those same lines, said the death-row prison guard to the woman on death row; “What do you want for your last meal?” Said the woman: “I don’t know, what do you want?”

Virginia’s Reece Beekman’s three-pointer with 1.1 seconds remaining to beat Duke Monday night should get you excited for next month’s NCAA men’s basketball tournament. It’s right around the corner!

Speaking of which, daylight savings (as much as I think it’s a farce) is three weeks from tomorrow!

Article I’ll skip: Tony Robbins gets real about success in life and health: ‘Just thinking positive is B.S.” – I am using the word “buffoon” again this week.

The Rams won the Super Bowl… or did the Cincinnati Bengals just lose? The Bungals had zero turnovers and scored just three points off the Rams two turnovers. The Bungals were sacked 7 times, punted on four straight 2^nd half possessions and just couldn’t stop the Rams on their final drive. The Bungals lost.

Quote for the week: “Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.” – Victor Hugo

OK I have to at least give tennis star Novak Djokovic credit. He refuses to get vaccinated for COVID-19 and his decision led to his being deported from Australia and missing the Australian Open and now he will miss the French Open for the same reason. Said Djokovic: “It’s the price I’m willing to pay.”

Father Andres Arango resigned from St. Gregory Catholic Church in Phoenix after it was determined he incorrectly performed thousands of baptisms for decades by changing one word. He used the words “We baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,” instead of the correct phrase “I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Apparently, the issue with using ‘We’ is that it is not the community that baptizes a person, rather, it is Christ, and Him alone, who presides at all of the sacraments, and so it is Christ Jesus who baptizes. Says one of those incorrectly baptized – “Now what??”

Trivia #1 answer: Who of the following is NOT in the Beanpot Hall of Fame? – Jerry York (BC), Herb Wakabayashi (BU), Bob Sweeney (BC), Jack Parker (BU), Dan McGillis (NU), Lane McDonald (HU), Joe Cavanagh (HU) – Sorry, they are all in the Beanpot HOF
Trivia #2 answer: Who is Sofia Jirau? – Sofia appeared in Victoria Secret’s Love Cloud Collection, which was put together to highlight diversity and inclusion. Sofia is the lingerie brand’s first model with Down Syndrone.
Trivia #3 answer: Who is the NHL’s all-time leader in overtime goals? – Wayne Gretzky, Brad Marchand, Sidney Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin, Jaromir Jagr, Sergei Fedorov, Mario Lemieux – Alexander Ovechkin (24). DYK: Wayne Gretzky had only 2 OT goals!!!
Trivia #4 answer: What college did the Rams’ Cooper Kupp attend? Bonus: What is the school’s mascot? – Eastern Washington University. Mascot – The Eagles
Trivia #5 answer: What team has the #1 pick in the upcoming USFL draft? – Birmingham Stallions, Philadelphia Stars, Michigan Panthers, Houston Gamblers, Lawrence Convicts – The Michigan Panthers

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“See, don’t ever set me free
I always wanna be by your side
Girl, you really got me now
You got me so I can’t sleep at night

Yeah, you really got me now
You got me so I don’t know what I’m doin’, now
Oh yeah, you really got me now
You got me so I can’t sleep at night

You really got me
You really got me
You really got me

– The Kinks

Briefly.

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and ziplining and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Trivia #1: What U.S. Presidents are featured on Mount Rushmore? Bonus: Where is it?
Trivia #2: Tuukka Mikael Rask is? – Swedish, Finnish, Czechoslovakian, Dutch, German, Portuguese
Trivia #3: What is a “Hog Line?”
Trivia #4: Who is Dr. Sarah Lee?

Goodbye Tuukka Rask. He retires from the Bruins with a record of 306-163—66, a Stanley Cup champion in 2011 and a Vezina Trophy in 2014. Tuuuuuuuu-ka!

Chew on this: Speaking of the Bruins, they lost 6-0 to the Hurricanes last night. It was their first game since 6/15/2011 without a single player on the ice that had won a Stanley Cup as a Bruin.

Article I’ll skip: How Adidas-advertised sports bras have social media users crying foul      

Early morning news that made my coffee taste gross – Aaron Rodgers was named NFL MVP.

The sport of curling intrigues. I’ve mentioned this in the past. I think it s because it seems as though it would be a good drinking game.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The American Gaming Association expects 31.4 million Americans will bet on the Super Bowl and will wager an estimated $7.61 billion, up 78% from last year.

The Rams will win the Super Bowl. (Though I’ll be rooting for the Bengals. Who am I kidding, I’ll be rooting for my numbers to come up)

Texas furniture salesman Jim “Mattress Mack” McIngvale has placed a record-setting bet of more than $4.5 million on a Super Bowl LVI win for the Cincinnati Bengals over the Los Angeles Rams through the Caesars Sportsbook app. The hater in me is rooting for a Rams’ victory.

Recently there were a bunch of trades in the NBA.                   

The Great Escape? – The Lyons Ferry Hatchery in Washington, near the Snake River Basin, typically releases about 60,000 steelhead fish into the river, but not normally in the fall or winter. The Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife reported that 249,770 young steelheads escaped into the river recently though it is unknown whether how many, if any, survived.

Quote for the week: “The world is changed by your example not by your opinion.” – Paul Coelho

Discount grocer Aldi is opening 150 additional stores nationwide and a distribution center this year in an effort to expand its footprint within the grocery industry. 

People actually track this?? – Tom Brady is 142-0 (127-0 as a Patriot and 15-0 as a Buccaneer) when he drops back to pass with a 4^th quarter lead.

I’ll admit, I’ve had enough of Tom Brady news. I’ll also admit I’ve been watching Super-Bowl-replay after Super-Bowl-replay of Patriots’ Super Bowls since Brady announced his retirement. I can’t get enough.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The mother of a 3-year-old Michigan girl found stabbed inside a garbage bag says SpongeBob SquarePants told her to kill her in a hallucination. 

Trivia #1 answer: What U.S. Presidents are featured on Mount Rushmore? – George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln.  – Bonus: Where is it? – Mount Rushmore is located in Keystone, South Dakota
Trivia #2 answer: Tuukka Mikael Rask is? – Swedish, Finnish, Czechoslovakian, Dutch, German, Portuguese – Tuukka is Finnish (Apparently, he’s “finished” too!)
Trivia #3 answer: What is a “Hog Line?” – The line on the curling ice at which the stone must be released before, in order to be considered in play.
Trivia #4 answer: Who is Dr. Sarah Lee? – She is “Dr. Pimple Popper” – A reality-TV star who helps patients with unique skin conditions reclaim a life free of disguise and embarrassment. (you can’t make this shit up)

Wha-wha-wha-whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Wha-a-Wachusett. Wachusett Mountain…… – catchy jingle

R.I.P. – Jeremy Giambi (47) – Former MLB KC Royal, Philadelphia Philly, Oakland Athletic and Boston Red Sox, was apparently another victim of suicide. What a shame.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Enjoy the game. May all your bets come true!

“And the years rolled slowly past
And I found myself alone
Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends
I found myself further and further from my home
And I guess I lost my way
There were oh so many roads
I was living to run and running to live
Never worried about paying or even how much I owed
Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time
Breaking all the rules that would bend
I began to find myself searchin’
Searchin’ for shelter again and again
Against the wind
A little something against the wind
I found myself seeking shelter against the wind”

– Bob Seger

Briefly. (Well..)

Like my mother always said, “What the f*k is wrong with you?”

Trivia #1: Who is Milltown Mel?
Trivia #2: I found one record that Tom Brady doesn’t hold: In the Super Bowl era, regular-season, minimum 100 starts, Brady is second in winning percentage against the spread (58.9% 186-124-6) What quarterback is #1?
Trivia #3: Of all 32 NFL teams, Tom Brady has a losing W/L record against only two, name them
Trivia #4: What was “The Beanpot” hockey tournament originally called? – The New England Hockey Invitational, The Boston Hockey Tournament, The Boston Invitational, The Hockey East Tournament, The Wicked Big Boston Hockey Extravaganza

Tom Brady’s middle name is Edward, just like my name. Isn’t that f*in’ awesome!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: From 1886 to 2021, Punxsutawney Phil has seen his shadow 105 times and hasn’t seen his shadow 20 times. Another 10 years don’t have any weather predictions recorded, according to The Punxsutawney Groundhog Club data. Data shows the groundhog has about a 39% accuracy rate.

You know, they say time flies when you’re having fun. And time does certainly fly, not necessarily the hours but the years. I hope you’re having fun. If you’re not, you might want to get busy with that.

So, apparently the NFL’s team in Washing ton, DC has settled on their name, finally. The Washington Commanders. Ya, go Redskins!

Happy Birthday! – You’re doing it wrong. A 29-year-old California mom of five died last weekend after falling from a party bus while celebrating her 30th birthday with family and friends. She fell at 3 a.m. and was subsequently killed by an oncoming 2006 Isuzu truck. I have yet to determine the need for pointing out that it was a 2006 model… 

Article I’ll skip: “How to look better in selfies and group photos” – Hey, it is what it is
Article I’ll skip, part deux: “Troy Aikman may have been with the Chargers, if not for Doug Flutie”

Chew on this: Tom Brady never played in a game while eliminated from playoff contention, 21 seasons. Really.

OK, I have to comment. David Ortiz, Hall of Fame, good for him. He’s certainly got the numbers. But what, his steroid story is not as proven as Roger Clemens or Barry Bonds? Is that it? Either put them all in, or put none of them in. And while you’re at it, please Put Pete Rose in!

Oh, I have more: If Tom Brady had retired in 2012, 10 years ago, he would still have the most playoff wins (17) in NFL history

The Rams will win the Super Bowl.

Quote for the week: “The one who plants trees, knowing that he will never sit in their shade, has at least started to understand the meaning of life.” – Rabindranath Tagore

She said it: “When I met you over 15 years ago, I didn’t know the first thing about football. But cheering for you and seeing you do what you love most made me learn about this wonderful game to the point that I seriously believed I knew more than the referees!” – Tom Brady’s wife, Gisele Bundchen – Ya Gisele, join the club!

The National Hurricane Center (NHC), along with several branches of the National Weather Service, are set to begin assessing the idea of moving the start of the Atlantic hurricane season back from June 1 to May 15.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Shohei Otani is being featured on the cover of Sony’s MLB’s 2022 video game, the first Asian athlete to appear in such a spot. Now, I don’t point this out because he is the first Asian, I point it out because who cares? The guy is the face of MLB. I don’t care if he’s Asian, black, white or if he has three penises. Society needs to back off!

Yo, meet my homies! – You’re doing it wrong. Six-time Pro Bowl receiver Chad Johnson invited all current Pro Bowlers – and specifically 49ers receiver Deebo Samuel and Cowboys cornerback Trevon Diggs – to an IHOP breakfast in Las Vegas, where the game is set to take place Sunday. None of the Pro Bowlers accepted Johnson’s social-media invitations, however, forcing the former Cincinnati Bengals star to eat alone. DOH!

Sad: At least 30 police and law enforcement officers were shot in the month of January – up 67% from the same time last year as the head of the country’s largest police union calls the violence against cops, “the worst I’ve ever seen.”

In 2019 the Cincinnati Bengals won two games. They won three games last month.

Beanpot – Go Northeastern!

Without getting into the Brian Flores thing, they say he is risking his coaching career. Not in my eyes. Maybe his NFL coaching career, but you can’t tell me college’s won’t be flocking towards hiring him.

Please see above. If you know my mother you know she is a saint and would never talk like that to me or anyone else. Now, that doesn’t mean she never thought it.

Trivia #1 answer: Who is Milltown Mel? – A New Jersey groundhog, much like his Pennsylvania counterpart, who makes weather predictions every February 2^nd. Mel recently died prior to this year’s prediction.
Trivia #2 answer: I found one record that Tom Brady doesn’t hold: In the Super Bowl era, regular-season, minimum 100 starts, Brady is second in winning percentage against the spread (58.9% 186-124-6) What quarterback is #1? – Joe Montana (61.6% 101-63)
Trivia #3 answer: Of all 32 NFL teams, Tom Brady has a career losing W/L record against only two, name them – The New Orleans Saints (4-5) and the Seattle Seahawks (1-2). He is .500 vs. the Rams (3-3) and the Chiefs (5-5). He is also undefeated vs. the Vikings (6-0), the Falcons (9-0), the Buccaneers (4-0), the Cowboys (6-0) and the New England Patriots (1-0)
Trivia #4 answer: What was “The Beanpot” hockey tournament originally called? – The New England Hockey Invitational, The Boston Hockey Tournament, The Boston Invitational, The Hockey East Tournament, The Wicked Big Boston Hockey Extravaganza – It was called The New England Hockey Invitational

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Baby, do you understand me now
Sometimes I feel a little mad
But don’t you know that no one alive
Can always be an angel
When things go wrong I seem to be bad
But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood”

– The Animals