Author: fasted86

Briefly.

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and ziplining and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Trivia #1: What U.S. Presidents are featured on Mount Rushmore? Bonus: Where is it?
Trivia #2: Tuukka Mikael Rask is? – Swedish, Finnish, Czechoslovakian, Dutch, German, Portuguese
Trivia #3: What is a “Hog Line?”
Trivia #4: Who is Dr. Sarah Lee?

Goodbye Tuukka Rask. He retires from the Bruins with a record of 306-163—66, a Stanley Cup champion in 2011 and a Vezina Trophy in 2014. Tuuuuuuuu-ka!

Chew on this: Speaking of the Bruins, they lost 6-0 to the Hurricanes last night. It was their first game since 6/15/2011 without a single player on the ice that had won a Stanley Cup as a Bruin.

Article I’ll skip: How Adidas-advertised sports bras have social media users crying foul      

Early morning news that made my coffee taste gross – Aaron Rodgers was named NFL MVP.

The sport of curling intrigues. I’ve mentioned this in the past. I think it s because it seems as though it would be a good drinking game.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The American Gaming Association expects 31.4 million Americans will bet on the Super Bowl and will wager an estimated $7.61 billion, up 78% from last year.

The Rams will win the Super Bowl. (Though I’ll be rooting for the Bengals. Who am I kidding, I’ll be rooting for my numbers to come up)

Texas furniture salesman Jim “Mattress Mack” McIngvale has placed a record-setting bet of more than $4.5 million on a Super Bowl LVI win for the Cincinnati Bengals over the Los Angeles Rams through the Caesars Sportsbook app. The hater in me is rooting for a Rams’ victory.

Recently there were a bunch of trades in the NBA.                   

The Great Escape? – The Lyons Ferry Hatchery in Washington, near the Snake River Basin, typically releases about 60,000 steelhead fish into the river, but not normally in the fall or winter. The Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife reported that 249,770 young steelheads escaped into the river recently though it is unknown whether how many, if any, survived.

Quote for the week: “The world is changed by your example not by your opinion.” – Paul Coelho

Discount grocer Aldi is opening 150 additional stores nationwide and a distribution center this year in an effort to expand its footprint within the grocery industry. 

People actually track this?? – Tom Brady is 142-0 (127-0 as a Patriot and 15-0 as a Buccaneer) when he drops back to pass with a 4^th quarter lead.

I’ll admit, I’ve had enough of Tom Brady news. I’ll also admit I’ve been watching Super-Bowl-replay after Super-Bowl-replay of Patriots’ Super Bowls since Brady announced his retirement. I can’t get enough.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The mother of a 3-year-old Michigan girl found stabbed inside a garbage bag says SpongeBob SquarePants told her to kill her in a hallucination. 

Trivia #1 answer: What U.S. Presidents are featured on Mount Rushmore? – George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln.  – Bonus: Where is it? – Mount Rushmore is located in Keystone, South Dakota
Trivia #2 answer: Tuukka Mikael Rask is? – Swedish, Finnish, Czechoslovakian, Dutch, German, Portuguese – Tuukka is Finnish (Apparently, he’s “finished” too!)
Trivia #3 answer: What is a “Hog Line?” – The line on the curling ice at which the stone must be released before, in order to be considered in play.
Trivia #4 answer: Who is Dr. Sarah Lee? – She is “Dr. Pimple Popper” – A reality-TV star who helps patients with unique skin conditions reclaim a life free of disguise and embarrassment. (you can’t make this shit up)

Wha-wha-wha-whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Wha-a-Wachusett. Wachusett Mountain…… – catchy jingle

R.I.P. – Jeremy Giambi (47) – Former MLB KC Royal, Philadelphia Philly, Oakland Athletic and Boston Red Sox, was apparently another victim of suicide. What a shame.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Enjoy the game. May all your bets come true!

“And the years rolled slowly past
And I found myself alone
Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends
I found myself further and further from my home
And I guess I lost my way
There were oh so many roads
I was living to run and running to live
Never worried about paying or even how much I owed
Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time
Breaking all the rules that would bend
I began to find myself searchin’
Searchin’ for shelter again and again
Against the wind
A little something against the wind
I found myself seeking shelter against the wind”

– Bob Seger

Briefly. (Well..)

Like my mother always said, “What the f*k is wrong with you?”

Trivia #1: Who is Milltown Mel?
Trivia #2: I found one record that Tom Brady doesn’t hold: In the Super Bowl era, regular-season, minimum 100 starts, Brady is second in winning percentage against the spread (58.9% 186-124-6) What quarterback is #1?
Trivia #3: Of all 32 NFL teams, Tom Brady has a losing W/L record against only two, name them
Trivia #4: What was “The Beanpot” hockey tournament originally called? – The New England Hockey Invitational, The Boston Hockey Tournament, The Boston Invitational, The Hockey East Tournament, The Wicked Big Boston Hockey Extravaganza

Tom Brady’s middle name is Edward, just like my name. Isn’t that f*in’ awesome!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: From 1886 to 2021, Punxsutawney Phil has seen his shadow 105 times and hasn’t seen his shadow 20 times. Another 10 years don’t have any weather predictions recorded, according to The Punxsutawney Groundhog Club data. Data shows the groundhog has about a 39% accuracy rate.

You know, they say time flies when you’re having fun. And time does certainly fly, not necessarily the hours but the years. I hope you’re having fun. If you’re not, you might want to get busy with that.

So, apparently the NFL’s team in Washing ton, DC has settled on their name, finally. The Washington Commanders. Ya, go Redskins!

Happy Birthday! – You’re doing it wrong. A 29-year-old California mom of five died last weekend after falling from a party bus while celebrating her 30th birthday with family and friends. She fell at 3 a.m. and was subsequently killed by an oncoming 2006 Isuzu truck. I have yet to determine the need for pointing out that it was a 2006 model… 

Article I’ll skip: “How to look better in selfies and group photos” – Hey, it is what it is
Article I’ll skip, part deux: “Troy Aikman may have been with the Chargers, if not for Doug Flutie”

Chew on this: Tom Brady never played in a game while eliminated from playoff contention, 21 seasons. Really.

OK, I have to comment. David Ortiz, Hall of Fame, good for him. He’s certainly got the numbers. But what, his steroid story is not as proven as Roger Clemens or Barry Bonds? Is that it? Either put them all in, or put none of them in. And while you’re at it, please Put Pete Rose in!

Oh, I have more: If Tom Brady had retired in 2012, 10 years ago, he would still have the most playoff wins (17) in NFL history

The Rams will win the Super Bowl.

Quote for the week: “The one who plants trees, knowing that he will never sit in their shade, has at least started to understand the meaning of life.” – Rabindranath Tagore

She said it: “When I met you over 15 years ago, I didn’t know the first thing about football. But cheering for you and seeing you do what you love most made me learn about this wonderful game to the point that I seriously believed I knew more than the referees!” – Tom Brady’s wife, Gisele Bundchen – Ya Gisele, join the club!

The National Hurricane Center (NHC), along with several branches of the National Weather Service, are set to begin assessing the idea of moving the start of the Atlantic hurricane season back from June 1 to May 15.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Shohei Otani is being featured on the cover of Sony’s MLB’s 2022 video game, the first Asian athlete to appear in such a spot. Now, I don’t point this out because he is the first Asian, I point it out because who cares? The guy is the face of MLB. I don’t care if he’s Asian, black, white or if he has three penises. Society needs to back off!

Yo, meet my homies! – You’re doing it wrong. Six-time Pro Bowl receiver Chad Johnson invited all current Pro Bowlers – and specifically 49ers receiver Deebo Samuel and Cowboys cornerback Trevon Diggs – to an IHOP breakfast in Las Vegas, where the game is set to take place Sunday. None of the Pro Bowlers accepted Johnson’s social-media invitations, however, forcing the former Cincinnati Bengals star to eat alone. DOH!

Sad: At least 30 police and law enforcement officers were shot in the month of January – up 67% from the same time last year as the head of the country’s largest police union calls the violence against cops, “the worst I’ve ever seen.”

In 2019 the Cincinnati Bengals won two games. They won three games last month.

Beanpot – Go Northeastern!

Without getting into the Brian Flores thing, they say he is risking his coaching career. Not in my eyes. Maybe his NFL coaching career, but you can’t tell me college’s won’t be flocking towards hiring him.

Please see above. If you know my mother you know she is a saint and would never talk like that to me or anyone else. Now, that doesn’t mean she never thought it.

Trivia #1 answer: Who is Milltown Mel? – A New Jersey groundhog, much like his Pennsylvania counterpart, who makes weather predictions every February 2^nd. Mel recently died prior to this year’s prediction.
Trivia #2 answer: I found one record that Tom Brady doesn’t hold: In the Super Bowl era, regular-season, minimum 100 starts, Brady is second in winning percentage against the spread (58.9% 186-124-6) What quarterback is #1? – Joe Montana (61.6% 101-63)
Trivia #3 answer: Of all 32 NFL teams, Tom Brady has a career losing W/L record against only two, name them – The New Orleans Saints (4-5) and the Seattle Seahawks (1-2). He is .500 vs. the Rams (3-3) and the Chiefs (5-5). He is also undefeated vs. the Vikings (6-0), the Falcons (9-0), the Buccaneers (4-0), the Cowboys (6-0) and the New England Patriots (1-0)
Trivia #4 answer: What was “The Beanpot” hockey tournament originally called? – The New England Hockey Invitational, The Boston Hockey Tournament, The Boston Invitational, The Hockey East Tournament, The Wicked Big Boston Hockey Extravaganza – It was called The New England Hockey Invitational

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Baby, do you understand me now
Sometimes I feel a little mad
But don’t you know that no one alive
Can always be an angel
When things go wrong I seem to be bad
But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood”

– The Animals

Briefly. (Hmmm)

When you can’t think of a word say, “I forget the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

Trivia #1: In the 1984 movie “The Natural”, the bat given to Roy Hobbs by the batboy Bobby Savoy is called what? Bonus: The movie depicts the 1939 season. The name of the bat also referred to something else in 1939. What was that?
Trivia #2: Sticking to “The Natural,” how old was Wilfred Brimley, coach Pop Fisher, when the movie was filmed? – 35, 48, 57, 65, 68, 73, 112
Trivia #3: What is Cenosillicaphobia?
Trivia #4: In the previous Winter Olympics (2018), which country finished with most medals? – The United States, Norway, China, Sweden, China, Germany, Canada
Trivia #5: Who is Pearl Aday?

What a weekend in the NFL in the Divisional Round! All 4 games decided on the last play of the game, three won by the underdog. As for the final game on Sunday (KC/Buffalo) there is literally too much to say. I’ve watched the 4^th quarter and OT four times since.

And please, don’t bitch about the NFL OT rules now. You can do that all year long and not just when it happens. I don’t like it either.

And while I’m at it, Jim Nantz and Tony Blomo can stop talking about how the Mahomes/Allen rivalry is what the AFC will be all about in the coming years. That is a great disservice to guys like Joe Burrow and Jim Herbert. Sorry Pats’ fans, Mac hasn’t entered the argument just yet.

The Celtics won the other night over the Kings 125-78, the biggest margin of victory by the Celtics at home, eva. The margin of victory probably had to do more with the fact that Sacramento sucks. Just sayin’.

Speaking of the NBA, there was a game the other night. One team took a shitload of 3-point shots while the opponent did the same. Thrilling.

Good news: During the Hershey Bears’ annual charity game, they are the Washington Capitals development club, more than 52,300 stuffed animals were tossed from the stands onto the ice setting a new world record. The stuffed animals will be handed off to more than two dozen charities and eventually, into the arms of children in need.  

Scientists with the National Institute for Understanding Basic Anatomy shocked the world yesterday by announcing the discovery that in humans, the nose is attached to the lungs. The revelation deals a stunning blow to the growing community of those who wear COVID masks below the nose.

All geared up for the Olympics? Neither am I.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: ANY speculation on what Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, Sean Payton or any other NFL player/coach is doing next year in terms of playing or retiring. Spare me, I can wait for a final decision.

Article I’ll skip: Michael Jordan, Scotty Pippen relationship ‘is over’, NBA great says

I watched some of the Army/Navy men’s basketball game last weekend. Let’s just say it is a slightly different atmosphere than the football game between the two.

Speaking of Army/Navy… I watched Georgia/Alabama basketball the other night. Again, not exactly the same atmosphere, unless of course you are a Georgia fan. Despite the fact that Georgia was 0-6 in the SEC, 5-14 overall and 14 ½ point underdogs, they prevailed by stunning the Tide 82-76. Git ‘er done!

The Rams will win the Super Bowl.

A 28-year-old Florida man was arrested last Wednesday for allegedly causing a disturbance at a Cape Coral Waffle House over the way his bacon was cooked. “You better cook the f—-ing bacon right!”, Martin Jose Alvarez, 28, is accused of yelling. One of the charges Alvarez is facing is disorderly intoxication. Shocking!

Quote for the week: “#11 over there just played his ass off. Pardon my language.” – Kansas City’s Patrick Mahomes immediately after last Sunday’s epic game against the Bills, before talking about anything else. Class act, that guy.
Quote for the week, part deux: “Keep his balls empty and his belly full.” – Linda Shelby, Arthur’s wife from the Netflix’ series Peaky Blinders, quoting her own mother.

Taking stubbornness to a new level. The parents of a 31-year-old in need of a heart transplant at Boston’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital said their son has been removed from the transplant list because he has not been vaccinated for COVID-19. The man is the father of two.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Many of the free at-home COVID-19 tests, part of the White House’s newly launched initiative to work with the U.S. Postal Service to mail out 500 million of the tests to Americans in the coming weeks, were made in China.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: Several students at a Maryland high school in the Washington, D.C. area neglected to call 911 about a bathroom shooting and instead tweeted about the incident and went back to class, leaving the teenage victim bleeding out until he was discovered by a security guard.

You know it’s cold outside when you trip over dog poop instead of stepping in it.

The PGA, smaht. The start to this week’s Farmer Insurance Open was pushed back to Wednesday as to avoid a potential conflict with the final round going up against the NFL’s championship games on Sunday.

Hey you, get off of my cloud!

Trivia #1 answer: In the 1984 movie “The Natural”, the bat given to Roy Hobbs by the batboy Bobby Savoy is called what? Bonus: The movie depicts the 1939 season. The name of the bat also referred to something else in 1939. What was that? – The bat was called the “Savoy Special.” Bonus: “Savoy Special” was also a brand of beer in 1939.
Trivia #2 answer: Sticking to “The Natural,” how old was Wilfred Brimley, coach Pop Fisher, when the movie was filmed? – 35, 48, 57, 65, 68, 73, 112 – He was 48 years old
Trivia #3 answer: What is Cenosillicaphobia? – It is the fear of an empty beer glass
Trivia #4 answer: In the previous Winter Olympics (2018), which country finished with most medals? – The United States, Norway, China, Sweden, China, Germany, Canada – Norway with 39
Trivia #5 answer: Who is Pearl Aday? – Meatloaf’s daughter. Imagine, she will go on through life as “Meatloaf’s daughter.” Sorry, but I find that hilarious.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“When I first met you girl you didn’t have no shoes
But now you’re walkin’ ‘round like you’re front page news
You’ve been awful careful ‘bout the friends you choose
But you won’t find my name in your book of Who’s Who

I said I, I, I, I, I’m not your steppin’ stone (no girl, not me)
I, I, I, I, I’m not your steppin’ stone
Not your steppin’ stone
I’m not your steppin’ stone
Not your steppin’ stone
Not your steppin’ stone”

– Paul Revere & The Raiders

Briefly.

Boobytrap backwards is Partyboob. Carry on.

Trivia #1: What teams have appeared in the most AFC Championship games? NFC? How many (same for both)
Trivia #2: Which two quarterbacks are NOT in the top five of all-time career playoff wins? – Terry Bradshaw, Tom Brady, John Elway, Ben Roethlisberger, Joe Montana, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre
Trivia #3: Who is Marvin Lee Aday?

The Patriots, ouch! Embarrassing! DYK: The Bills became the first team to go through a game with zero punts, zero field goals and zero turnovers.

Chew on this: Tom Brady now has more playoff wins (17), since 2014, than any other starting QB has in his career. Joe Montana is second with 16.

The PGA is back!

Like it or not, Tuukka is back too!

Serbian Novak Djokovic is arguably the best tennis player in the world. The 34-year-old failed in a final appeal against the Australian government’s decision to remove his visa. He is not only missing out on the Australian Open and may also miss the French Open due to his decision to not get vaccinated against COVID-19. To make matters worse, one of his major sponsors wants to meet with him. DOH!

Article I’ll skip: Gold Medalist Caitlyn Jenner sends message to NCAA amid trans debate

I learned that at the NY Giants’ Fan Appreciation Day this past season, they “awarded” the fans with a medium soda.

Some dance to remember, some dance to forget.

The Rams will win the Super Bowl.

Tweet of the Week: Congrats @RobGronkowski on setting the postseason TD mark for TEs. Unfortunately, you’re still not eligible for membership with USAA.

Beginning December 17, 2021, North Korea banned laughing for 11 days to mark 10 years of Kim Jong’s rule and to commemorate the anniversary of the death of his father. Any sign of happiness, alcohol, celebrating birthdays and food shopping have all been banned.

I’m just guessing the NFL is relaxing the COVID testing during the playoffs? Just a guess.

Quote for the week: “Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, nine if you’re ugly.” – Betty White in 2011

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: California prosecutors have filed two counts of vehicular homicide against the driver of a Tesla on Autopilot who ran a red light, slammed into another car and killed two people in 2019.

Puh-lease! Have you seen the Applebees commercial where they play the theme song from the 80’s/90’s sitcom “Cheers?” Give me a break!

Me: This movie sucks!
Boss: Again, this is a Zoom call.

R.I.P. Meat Loaf (74) – The singer’s career spanned six decades and he was in dozens of movies including the “Rocky Horror Picture Show,” “Fight Club” and “Wayne’s World.” His album “Bat Out of Hell” is one of the 10 bestselling albums of all time, with worldwide sales of more than 40 million copies.

DYK: Meat Loaf’s nickname was given to him by his high school football coach because of Meat Loaf’s weight. I imagine if that happened today the kid would be in therapy and his parents would be suing the school.

DYK: There are more 1,133 words in the song “Paradise By the Dashboard Lights”

Trivia #1 answer: What teams have appeared in the most AFC Championship games? NFC? – 16 times each – The Pittsburgh Steelers 1972, 1974–76, 1978–79, 1984, 1994–95, 1997, 2001, 2004–05, 2008, 2010, 2016 – The San Francisco 49ers 1970–71, 1981, 1983–84, 1988–90, 1992–94, 1997, 2011–13, 2019
Trivia #2 answer: Which two quarterbacks are NOT in the top five of all-time career playoff wins? – Terry Bradshaw, Tom Brady, John Elway, Ben Roethlisberger, Joe Montana, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre – Ben Roethlisberger and Brett Favre are tied for 6^th.
Trivia #3 answer: Who is Marvin Lee Aday? – The singer/actor better known as Meat Loaf

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you’ve got
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot
Wouldn’t you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name”

– Gary Portnoy & Judy Hart-Angelo

“Though it’s cold and lonely in the deep, dark light
I can see paradise in the dashboard light”

– Meat Loaf

Briefly.

I wonder how many WTFs today will bring.

Trivia #1: With which sports team did the “tomahawk chop” originate? – Atlanta Braves, Kansas City Chiefs, Florida State Seminoles, Winnacunnet Warriors
Trivia #2: What does NVRQT stand for and bonus: What is its significance?
Trivia #3: Who was born Veronica Yvette Bennett?
Trivia #4: During the decade of the 1980’s, there was one year where the Meadowlands crew had to work overtime, as the Jets played there on Saturday and the Giants played there the next day, on Sunday. What year was it?
Trivia #5: What is the plural of ‘attorney general’, bonus: Why?

Man, it’s a good thing I make an effort to avoid commenting on political subjects/topics. I’d be here all day with a 20-page blog.

Speaking of avoiding politics, can we just drop a couple big ones on North Korea and get it over with?

Happy Wildcard Weekend (NFL) everyone! This season we get two games on Saturday, three on Sunday and a first-ever Monday Night game. Oh, the glory…

Speaking of which, this is Rams’ quarterback Matthew Stafford’s moment. Having never won a playoff game having played his entire career with the always-struggling Detroit Lions. Now, can he win with a team with some studs on both sides of the ball? His legacy either starts or ends on Monday night vs. the Cardinals.     

Article I’ll skip: Britney Spears slams her family, younger sister Jamie Lynn

So apparently the story is that Gronk needed n-number of catches and n-number of yards last Sunday to meet some big incentives in his contract. QB Tom Brady argued with his coaches to get back into the game that was all but over. He fed Gronk and got him his bonuses (both worth $500,000).

Quote for the week: “Gronk can have his dinner with all his tight ends, I’m going out with the O-linemen. Sorry Gronk, I’m going to miss you. Just make sure you don’t stay out too late.” – Tom Brady after learning he wasn’t invited to Gronk’s dinner.
Quote for the week, part deux: “Soon, I’m going to meet somebody around my own age, and she’s going to be smart and beautiful, and I’m going to date her daughter.” – Bob Saget

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Student lender Naviant has announced that it has canceled over $1.7 billion in student loans as part of an agreement to settle ongoing litigation with various state attorneys general.

Can you coach football? Well, there are plenty of openings in the NFL. Take your shot!

You think Big Brother has been watching? Well, yesterday SpaceX successfully launched the two-stage Falcon 9 rocket sending 105 more satellites into orbit.

Jon Lester announced his retirement. Three-time World Series Champion (Cubbies and twice with the Red Sox), 200 wins, 2488 strikeouts, threw over 200 innings 8 ties, threw a no-hitter and survived cancer. Always a big-game pitcher come playoff time, going out on his own terms. Good for him!

You know its winter in New England when there is a “warmer sea breeze” and the water temperature is 46 degrees.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Former New England Patriot Julian Edelman allegedly bet $100K that the Patriots would meet Tampa Bay in the Super Bowl.

Why do eggs come in flimsy Styrofoam cartons and batteries come in a package you can only open with a chainsaw?

R.I.P. Bob Saget (65) – Stand-up comedian, actor and television host.
R.I.P. Ronnie Spector (78) – Along with her sister and cousin, formed the Ronettes in 1957 and sang lead for the group on a string of hits in the early-to-mid 1960’s.
R.I.P. Mrs. Arch (80-something) – Joanne Archambault, local mother and matriarch, grandmother, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, legend. She loved her family to the fullest, lived life to its fullest. An all-timer.   

Trivia #1 answer: With which sports team did the “tomahawk chop” originate? – Atlanta Braves, Kansas City Chiefs, Florida State Seminoles, Winnacunnet Warriors – The nod goes to the Florida State Seminoles. The school’s band invented the tune in the 1980’s.
Trivia #2 answer: What does NVRQT stand for and bonus: What is its significance? – NVRQT stands for “never quit” and the NVRQT Campaign, run by the Pediatric Cancer Research Foundation, helps to raise awareness and funds for children’s cancer research with the help of Chicago Cubs pitcher, Jon Lester (launched by Lester and his wife in 2012)
Trivia #3 answer: Trivia #3: Who was born Veronica Yvette Bennett? – Ronnie Spector
Trivia #4 answer: During the decade of the 1980’s, there was one year where the Meadowlands crew had to work overtime, as the Jets played there on Saturday and the Giants played there the next day, on Sunday. What year was it? – 1985
Trivia #5 answer: What is the plural of ‘attorney general’, bonus: Why? – The plural is ‘attorneys general’ because the word ‘general’ is an adjective and the plural goes to the noun. Hey, I’m here to educate

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“The night we met I knew I needed you so
And if I had the chance I’d never let you go
So won’t you say you love me
I’ll make you so proud of me
We’ll make ‘em turn their heads every place we go

So won’t you, please
(Be my, be my baby) Be my little baby
(My one and only baby) Say you’ll be my darlin’
(Be my, be my baby) Be my baby now
Wha-oh-oh-oh”

– The Ronettes

Briefly. (hey, I’m on holiday!)

May all your troubles last as long as your New Years’ resolutions.

Trivia #1: Since 1950, which school has won the most NCAA football National Championships? – UCLA, Maryland, Michigan, Arkansas, BYU.

Number of the Week: 5.7 – That’s “minus” 5.7 – The temperature (Fahrenheit) at the start of this year’s NHL Winter Classic, held on New Year’s Day in Minneapolis.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Just when you it was over, more NHL games get canceled. DOH!

Goodbye to Pittsburgh Steeler Ben Roethlisberger, who all but announced his retirement recently. I don’t like the fact that he announced it before his last home game, thereby asking for recognition that night on Monday Night Football, but at least he didn’t pull the “Victory Tour” by announcing it at the beginning of the season like many athletes. Our beloved David Ortiz comes to mind.

Did you catch the halftime show during the Rose Bowl? The Ohio State band did a pretty good “Rush” medley.

Message to Antonio Brown – “See ya!”

Saving $2.75 – you’re doing it wrong. A 28-year-old man in Queens tried to evade the New York subway fare by attempting to jump a turnstile. Apparently, he fell to the floor, hit his head and broke his neck.

The Celtics’ Robert Williams III is the 1st player in NBA history with a triple-double that included ≥ 4 blocks, FG% = 1.000 – (min 5 FGA). He finished with 10 points, 11 rebounds, 10 assists, 5 blocks, 5-5 in field goals and two steals.

If I had a dollar for every time algebra has helped me, I’d have n dollars.

R.I.P. Betty White (99) – Her television career spanned 7 decades and included 7 Emmys and a lifetime achievement Emmy. She was the first woman nominated for an Emmy. Betty White created two of the most memorable characters in sitcom history, Sue Ann Nivens on “The Mary Tylor Moore Show” and Rose Nylund on “The Golden Girls.” Betty also hosted Saturday Night Live at the age of 88!
R.I.P. Dan Reeves (77) – Reeves appeared in 9 Super Bowls – Two as a player (including a Cowboys’ win in Super Bowl VI), assistant coach in three and head coach in four more.
R.I.P. Sam Jones (88) – 10-time NBA champion with the Boston Celtics. Jones had his #24 raised to the Boston Garden rafters, was inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame and was named to the NBA’s 25^th, 50^th and 75^th anniversary teams.

In a related story, Keith Richards is still alive.

Babe Ruth hit 552 homeruns AFTER Betty White was born. Chew on that one.

Trivia #1 answer: Since 1950, which school has won the most NCAA football National Championships? – UCLA, Arizona, Michigan, Arkansas – They have all won one title – (UCLA 1954, Maryland 1953, Michigan 1997, Arkansas 1964, BYU 1984)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Take a little walk on the edge of town
and go across the tracks
Where the viaduct looms
like a bird of doom
As it shifts and cracks
where secrets lie in the border fires,
in hummingbird wires
Hey man, you know you’re never coming back
Past the square, past the bridge,
past the mills, past the stacks
On a gathering storm
comes a tall handsome man
in a dusty black coat
with a red right hand”

– Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Briefly.

I only do what the voices in my wife’s head tell her to tell me do.

Trivia #1: Which new year did Dick Clark first host his New Year’s Rockin’ Eve special for? – 1975, 1969, 1973, 1978, 1812
Trivia #2: The Cleveland Indians are changing their name in 2022 to the Cleveland what? – Guardians, Chiefs, Cavaliers, Batters, Baseball Team, Matadors, Pansies
Trivia #3: Which sports made their Olympic debut in 2020? – (Judo, Parkour, Snowboarding and Wind Surfing), (Karate, Sport Climbing, Skateboarding and Surfing), (Aikido, Ice Climbing, Bodyboarding and Kitesurfing), (Sumo, Bungee Jumping, Kiteboarding and Surf Kayaking), (Chess, Naked Twister, Pole Dancing and Knuckle Cracking)
Trivia #4: What is Clemson football coach Dabo Swinney’s full name? – Christopher William, William Christopher, Matthew Joseph, Joseph Matthew, Kade Clemens, Richard David, David Richard, Horatio Bartholomew
Trivia #5: The earliest recorded New Year’s celebration dates back about 4,000 years. What was the civilization that took note of its festivities? – Greece, Egypt, Babylon, Mesopotamia, Japan

My New Year’s resolution? I’m just trying to do “something” better than last year. If I do one thing better – winner, winner! Good luck to all of you.

They said it: “Boom!” – John Madden

The Boston Celtics stink.

The Boston Bruins haven’t played in so long I forgot how they were doing.

The New England Patriots regressed so much last weekend that I worry for the next two games. Really.

How many of you are going to a New Year’s celebration where masks are required? See ya!

Denny’s. Helping people poop since 1953.

A local “dense fog” advisory just came up on my phone. How about a “dense people” advisory?

Have you seen that GMC commercial where the guy and girl are out in the snow in the middle of nowhere? He whistles and a puppy comes running, her Christmas gift. She then whistles and a GMC truck comes plowing through the snow, his Christmas gift. Have you ever seen two more fake whistles in your life??

Have you ever noticed in any workout commercial on television that the participants are always smiling? Bullshit! Go to the gym and look for one! Just one!

Quote for the week: “What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t even happened yet.” – Anne Frank

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Almost every headline you see nowadays fits this category, but the winner today is: Eva Warner (cute kid… NOT!) The transgender Antifa rioter was arrested THREE times during the Antifa riots in August, 2020, had her federal case dropped after completing 30 hours of community service. Never(!) has there been a bigger insult to those who perform community service on a regular basis. Many live their lives performing community service almost daily and this thug, formerly named ‘Joshua’, gets recognized and pardoned by a judge for 30 f*n hours. Blasphemy.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: ‘Aaron’ Rodgers says he won’t drag out decision on his future

DYK: There have been more non-hurricane extreme floods in the 2010s than in the prior three decades? (Useless trivia to impress your friends. You’re welcome)

They say the best way is just to live one day at a time. If you try to live seven days at a time, the week will be over before you know it.

NFL: These guys who line up offside. Idiots, I say.

R.I.P. Desmond Tutu (90) – In 1984, received the Nobel Peace Prize “not only as a gesture of support to him and to the South African Council of Churches of which he was a leader, but also to all individuals and groups in South Africa who, with their concern for human dignity, fraternity and democracy, incite the admiration of the world.”
R.I.P. John Madden (85) – Professional football player, Hall of Fame NFL coach, broadcaster, eSports pioneer. On Christmas Day, Madden watched his documentary on Fox with his family. The next day he celebrated his 62^nd wedding anniversary with his wife, Virginia. The day after that, he was gone. I’ve heard more great stories about him the past few days. Seemed like a real genuine, good guy.

Trivia #1 answer: Which new year did Dick Clark first host his New Year’s Rockin’ Eve special for? – 1975, 1969, 1973, 1978, 1812 – 1969
Trivia #2 answer: The Cleveland Indians are changing their name in 2022 to the Cleveland what? – Guardians, Chiefs, Cavaliers, Batters, Baseball Team, Matadors, Pansies – The Guardians
Trivia #3 answer: Which sports made their Olympic debut in 2020? – (Judo, Parkour, Snowboarding and Wind Surfing), (Karate, Sport Climbing, Skateboarding and Surfing), (Aikido, Ice Climbing, Bodyboarding and Kitesurfing), (Sumo, Bungee Jumping, Kiteboarding and Surf Kayaking), (Chess, Naked Twister, Pole Dancing and Knuckle Cracking) – Karate, Sport Climbing, Skateboarding and Surfing
Trivia #4 answer: What is Clemson football coach Dabo Swinney’s full name? – Christopher William, William Christopher, Matthew Joseph, Joseph Matthew, Kade Clemens, Richard David, David Richard, Horatio Bartholomew – William Christopher “Dabo” Swinney
Trivia #5 answer: The earliest recorded New Year’s celebration dates back about 4,000 years. What was the civilization that took note of its festivities? – Greece, Egypt, Babylon, Mesopotamia, Japan – Babylon

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

I hope you all have a safe, healthy, f*n awesome 2022!

“Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.”

I love you guys.

Briefly.

For Christmas, I got you $25 worth of lottery tickets. I went ahead and scratched them off for you. You won $2! Here’s the $2.

Trivia #1: In the movie “Christmas Vacation”, what is Clark’s boss’ name? Bonus: What is his boss’ wife’s name?
Trivia #2: What is the nickname of the University of Delaware?
Trivia #3: What is the name of the song that begins with: “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…?”
Trivia #4: “Throckmorton” is what? – The last name of an offensive lineman with the Saints, a town in Texas, a county in Texas, a slang term used humorously by medical students and residents, all of the above.

Can you tell? Can you feel it? The days are getting longer!

You want to stay on the “nice” list? Delete your browser history.

They said it: “I don’t know how many times I’ve said; ‘I’m not sure I’m going to get a chance to see Tom Brady again’.” – Chris Collinsworth during last Sunday night’s Tampa/New Orleans game

The NHL Players Association voted to allow players to play in the Beijing Olympics next year. NOT! Due to the number of games cancelled due to that COVID-thing, games will be made up while the Olympic games are being played. DOH!

Good news: Tuesday’s Pens game against the New Jersey Devils and Thursday’s game against the Philadelphia Flyers were among the 32 games put on hold this week alone following a surge of COVID cases that saw nine teams shut down. With no guests to fill the stands, the Penguins took the opportunity to donate food at PPG Paints Arena to a local charity, 412 Food Rescue, that works to deliver food to individuals and families experiencing food insecurity.

Hey Bing, it’s been “beginning to look a lot like Christmas” for about four weeks now. Give the song a rest.

Quote for the week: “The chief danger in life is that you take many precautions.” – Alfred Adler

Quote for the week, part deux: “You can’t spell families without lies.” – Robert Duvall in Four Christmases.

I am interested in watching the John Madden special, but Christmas day at 2pm? Not likely.

Don’t forget, tonight the moon will be visible from the Earth. The last time this happened was last night.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Washington Football Team is still called the Washington Football Team.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: At least a dozen students were arrested last Thursday/Friday in connection to threat rumors on TikTok and other social media apps went viral. Students across the country made unverified threats to schools on social media apps including TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram, prompting schools and others local officials to take action. – What’s with kids these days??

This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part trois(?): Hawaii and Texas A&M have pulled out of their respective college football bowl games. Ya, the COVID-thing. You have to feel bad for the kids. On the flip side, Rutgers was chosen to take the Aggies place in The Gator Bowl. Now those kids must be pretty stoked!

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: “Shaq ballooned to 415 pounds during pandemic.” That’s a big man! His goal is to get back to 325 by March.

It’s called a joke. We used to tell them before people became offended by everything.

You find it offensive. I find it funny… That’s why I’m happier than you.

Trivia #1 answer: In the movie “Christmas Vacation”, what is Clark’s boss’s name? Bonus: What is his boss’ wife’s name? – Frank Shirley – Bonus: Helen
Trivia #2 answer: What is the nickname of the University of Delaware? – The Fightin’ Blue Hens
Trivia #3 answer: What is the name of the song that begins with; “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…?” – The Christmas Song
Trivia #4 answer: “Throckmorton” is what? – The last name of an offensive lineman with the Saints, a town in Texas, a county in Texas, a slang term used humorously by medical students and residents, all of the above. – All of the above. In terms of the “slang term used humorously by medical students and residents”, Throckmorton sign, also known as John Thomas sign, refers to when the penis points in the direction of unilateral disease, typically of the pelvis or hip. Hey, I’m just trying to educate here!

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Merry Christmas to you all!

“Joy to the world! The Savior reigns
Let men their songs employ
While fields and floods
Rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat, repeat the sounding joy”

– Isaac Watts (the carol’s lyrics are based on a Christian interpretation of Psalm 98, Psalm 96 (verses 11 and 12), and chapter 3 of the Book of Genesis (verses 17 and 18)

“Jeremiah was a bull frog
Was a good friend of mine
I never understood a single word he said
But I helped him drink his wine
And he always had some mighty fine wine

Singin’
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls now
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me”

– Three Dog Night

Briefly.

Do you remember, before the internet, that it was thought that the cause of collective stupidity was the lack of access to information? Well… it wasn’t that.

Trivia #1: How think is the ice on a hockey arena supposed to be? – ½ inch, ¾ inches, 1 inch, 1 ¼ inches, 1 ½ inches
Trivia #2: What is the name of the game which is played like ice hockey only there are 11 team members to a side and a small ball is used instead of a puck?
Trivia #3: Where is the 2022 Miss America from? – Massachusetts, Montana, Alaska, Florida, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona

Today is a good day to have a good day.

Have you watched movie “The Polar Express?” Those kids go through the entire movie in their pajamas but don’t seem cold. I don’t get it.

They said it: Carlos Santana is hanging up his guitar for at least the rest of the year while he recovers from an “unscheduled heart procedure.” Said the 74-year-old; “… I need to replenish and catch up with my health so that when I play for you, I play the way I’m used to and give you 150%. I wouldn’t show up if I couldn’t do that.”

My heart goes out, literally, to all those affected by the tornadoes, etc. in the Midwest this past week. Incredible numbers, stories, etc. Too many to mention.

A decades-old photo that reportedly belong to a family from Kentucky has been found over 150 miles away in Indiana after a swarm of tornados carved through the region on Friday night.

It’s December 17^th and Patriots’ starting QB has thrown 3 passes in December.

Get your relatives speaking to one another again by sending a heartfelt Christmas card with a picture of your family with an extra child nobody knows.

Now I realize many people have passed this past year, (too) many people have been affected by storms and many other things, etc., but in the world of sports, few people have had a worse year than Urban Meyer. My heart goes out. Prick.

Article I won’t read: “Steph Curry sets 3-point record” – I’m sure the article mentions a bunch of 3-pointers attempted. Ahhh, the NBA.

The U.S. Navy on Wednesday released dramatic photos from a demonstration of a high-energy laser weapon system that “successfully engaged” a floating target during a test in the Gulf of Aden. The laser was test-fired from the USS Portland, a San Antonio-class amphibious transport dock, which previously used the laser in May 2020 to destroy a drone, which was considered a first-of-its-kind test of such a weapon.

In perhaps the biggest run turn of national signing day events in the past 20 years, Travis Hunter – the nation’s #1 football recruit (according to 247 Sports) – will no longer attend Florida State instead flipping his commitment to Jackson State University. Jackson State boasts the Southwestern Athletic Conference coach of the year, Deion Sanders and won the SWAC championship for the first time since 2007. Deion’s son, quarterback Shedeur Sanders, was named SWAC freshman of the year.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The U.S Air Force announced Monday that 27 active-duty airmen were administratively discharged for refusing to roll up their sleeves for a COVID-19 jab and vowed to continue to refuse the jab. The airmen all served for fewer than six years and did not serve long enough to qualify for a hearing before their discharge. Reportedly, 97% of active-duty members have complied with the orders handed down by Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin in August.

Speaking of the armed forces… did you happen to catch the Army/Navy game this past Saturday? On display at MetLife stadium was the Veterans and Athletes United (VAU) Global War on Terror Memorial Flag. The memorial is 28 x 6 and made of close to 7,000 dog tags of fallen service members from the Global War on Terror. Nice

Lance is a pretty uncommon name, but in medieval times, people were named Lance a lot.

R.I.P. Demaryius Thomas (33) – Five straight Pro Bowls with the Denver Broncos plus a Super Bowl ring. Off the field Thomas did extensive work with the Broncos Boys & Girls Club, hospital visits and ran his annual football camp.
R.I.P. Edward Shames (99) – World War II veteran who was the last surviving officer of “Easy Company” (506^th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101^st Airborne Division), which inspired the HBO miniseries and book “Band of Brothers.”
R.I.P. Michael Nesmith (78) – Monkees, wool hat

Trivia #1 answer: How think is the ice on a hockey arena supposed to be? – ½ inch, ¾ inches, 1 inch, 1 ¼ inches, 1 ½ inches – ¾ inches
Trivia #2 answer: What is the name of the game which is played like ice hockey only there are 11 team members to a side and a small ball is used instead of a puck? – Bandy
Trivia #3 answer: Where is the 2022 Miss America from? – Massachusetts, Montana, Alaska, Florida, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona – She is from Alaska

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Is that you
Your eyes slowly fading?
Is that you
Your mind full of tears?
Is that you
Searching for a good time?
Is that you
Waitin’ for all these years?

And I hope you’re feelin’ better
Yes I hope you’re feelin’ good
Yes I hope you’re feeling better”

– Santana

“We go wherever we want to
Do what we like to do
We don’t have time to get restless
There’s always something new
Hey, hey, we’re the Monkees
And people say we monkey around
But we’re too busy singing
To put anybody down”

– Monkees

Briefly.

Don’t you hate it when people accuse you of lolly gagging when you’re quite clearly dilly dallying?

Trivia #1: In baseball, why is a strikeout known as a ‘K’ and not an ‘S’?
Trivia #2: In 2014, the Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame was created. Fictitious athletes such as Crash Davis (Bull Durham), Bobby Boucher (Waterboy) and Forrest Gump have all been enshrined. Who was the inaugural inductee?
Trivia #3: What NFL kicker in NOT in the top 5 in career field goals made? – John Carney, Morton Anderson, Adam Vinatieri, Matt Stover, Gary Anderson, Jason Hanson
Trivia #4: Who is the only driver in history to have won the Indy 500 and also have a sibling and a child win the same race?

On November 22 Nolan Sprengeler, a Minnesota angler, broke a decades-old record when he reeled in a 55-pound muskellunge “muskie” during a fishing trip to Millie Lacs Lake.

Good news: Two Ohio siblings have donated more than 50,000 toys over the past six years to one of the largest pediatric hospitals in the country through their annual toy drive. The siblings have taken advantage of their schools’ expansive network of students and staff to get volunteers and donations. The Ohio Virtual Academy, an online public school for K-12 students, serves more than 18,000 kids from across the state.

The Patriots started the season 2-4. No team has ever played in a Super Bowl that started the season < .500 through 6 games. Just sayin’

Quote for the week: “A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships.” – Helen Keller

They said it: “I’ve have never seen snow.” – Mac Jones in 2015
They said it, part deux: “They don’t build them like you anymore.” – ESPN’s Chris Berman referring to the generation of men who fought during WWII.

DYK: Purdue men’s basketball is ranked #1 in the country? Did you also know they got beat last night on a last second bomb versus unranked Rutgers? DOH!

I heard a commercial on the radio for some ED treatment. The advertisement stated; “If you don’t see results in the office, then your visit is free!” Think about that for a minute.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A driver wearing a clown mask rammed a Vegas airport fence, called himself the ‘chosen one’, and requested an Area 51 flight. – The chosen one, eh? Wearing a clown mask???

About a month ago, the Washington Redskins released their veteran kicker, Dustin Hopkins, and signed unproven Chris Blewitt who hadn’t kicked since 2016 then with the University of Pittsburgh. How did Chris make out? You guessed it; he blew it! He did make two field goals and two extra points but also had three kicks blocked resulting from low kicks, before being released himself.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Article: Christmas car decorations: What you need to know to be stylish and safe

Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin is flirting with his first losing record with the team. Thy currently stand at 6-6-1. My heart goes out…

R.I.P. Bob Dole (98) – Former state representative, U.S. representative and U.S. senator from small town, Kansas who was seriously wounded in Italy during WWII trying to rescue a fellow American. As Tom Brokaw said; “Bob Dole epitomized the World War II generation. When the WW II Memorial was built and became a popular site for WW II veterans around the country, they often encountered Dole, who visited regularly as a volunteer greeter. He was always on duty.”
R.I.P. Al Under (82) – Four-time Indy 500 winner and three-time Indy Car Champion

Trivia #1 answer: In baseball, why is a strikeout known as a ‘K’ and not an ‘S’? – Because ‘S’ was already taken to stand for a “sacrifice.”
Trivia #2: In 2014, the Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame was created. Fictitious athletes such as Crash Davis (Bull Durham), Bobby Boucher (Waterboy) and Forrest Gump have all been enshrined. Who was the inaugural inductee? – Rocky Balboa
Trivia #3: What NFL kicker in NOT in the top 5 in career field goals made? – John Carney, Morton Anderson, Adam Vinatieri, Matt Stover, Gary Anderson, Jason Hanson – Matt Stover
Trivia #4: Who is the only driver in history to have won the Indy 500 and also have a sibling and a child win the same race? – Al Unser (you all know I’m a big fan of that “turn left” thing that some call a sport)

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

“Where do we go from here?
Which is the way that’s clear?

Still looking for that blue jean baby queen
Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.
See’em shake on the movie screen.
Jimmy Dean.

Rock on, rock on,
Rock on, rock on”

– Toni Basil