Author: fasted86

Briefly.

Every morning, I announce to my family that I’m going jogging, but then I don’t go. It’s a running joke…

Trivia #1: Who is Gary Lee Weinrib?
Trivia #2: What MLB player broke up at least 81 no-hitters by hitting a homerun?

On this date: October 10, 354, Roman Emperor Constantius gives grand circus and theater shows to mark 30th year of his reign as Caesar in Arles
October 10, 1871, The Great Chicago Fire is finally extinguished after three days, leaving approximately 300 dead, 100,000 homeless, and causing $222 million in damage
October 10. 1892, Entire Hong Kong national cricket team dies in shipwreck off Taiwan
October 10, 1943, US bombers accidentally strike Enschede, Netherlands, causing 151 deaths
October 10, 2019, 3,500 women are allowed to attend a football match in Iran for a World Cup qualifier in Tehran for the first time since the Islamic Revolution
October 10, 2024, Harry Brook’s 317 and Joe Root’s 262 share the highest-ever partnership (454) by England on day four of the first Test against Pakistan in Multan; it is the fourth-highest partnership of all time in Test cricket – Really!

The Red Sox lost their Wildcard series and are out of the playoffs, but somehow, the Yankees then get eliminated and the world is right again. Funny how that happens.

Wanna get away? Last night, the LA Dodgers had the bases loaded with two outs in the bottom of the 11th with outfielder Andy Pages at the plate against Phillies reliever Orion Kerkering. Pages hit a bouncing grounder to Kerkering, who had a tough time fielding the ball. He needed to make a rushed throw to the catcher J.T. Realmuto, but he tossed it too high and out of his reach. Game over, season over. DOH!

Go away: Boston Red Sox (The Bruins are 2-0!)

I am all-in with Patriots’ coach Mike Vrabel. What gonads he has for believing in Rhamondre Stevenson. Stevenson had fumbled something like 79(ish) times when, last Sunday night, he fumbled on his first carry. He ended up scoring two touchdowns in the Pats’ upset win over the Buffaloed Bills.

Article I’ll skip: Common foods may be unexpectedly spiking blood sugar, increasing diabetes risk. (You lost me at “may be”)

Tums is missing out on selling pumpkin spice flavored antacid and calling it Autums.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: After their first 18 regular season games, Tom Brady was 319 for 494, 3,412 yards, 23 TDs and 13 INTs, and Drake Maye was 338 for 491 for 3,527 yards, 22 TDs and 12 INTs.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Sonoma County Department of Public Health’s Interim Health Officer Dr. Karen Smith in California wine country is beefing up its vaccine recommendations and instituting a mask mandate, citing “greater risk” of contracting COVID-19 amid the start of the annual flu season.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: A woman in Texas was shot and killed in a PetSmart parking lot after an argument over not saying “thank you” for opening the door.  Cecilia Simpson, 41, was shot several times outside a PetSmart in Dallas. A witness told police that Simpson held the door open for Keona Zachyua Hampton, 22, at a Five Below store. Simpson allegedly became irritated that Hampton didn’t thank her for holding the door open, triggering an argument.

When I was a child, I used to enjoy making sandcastles with my father. That was really nice until my grandmother made me put the urn back on the mantle.

Don’t be that guy. Open the door for her, whomever she is.

Trivia #1 answer: Who is Gary Lee Weinrib? – He is otherwise known as Geddy Lee from the rock band Rush. (I know probably one person who got this correct answer)
Trivia #2: What MLB player broke up at least 81 no-hitters by hitting a homerun? – Ricky Henderson by virtue of hitting 81 game-leadoff homeruns when the opposing pitcher had clearly not given up a hit. Wait, what???

R.I.P. Mike Greenwell (62), a two-time All-Star with the Boston Red Sox who played 12 years in the majors (all with the Sox), has died after a battle with thyroid cancer. “Greenie” was runner-up to Jose Canseco in the 1988 AL MVP voting and later was inducted into the Red Sox HOF. Something about Greenie, I was a big fan.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Walk to a Park Day!

The older you get, the more you realize how precious life is. You no longer crave drama, conflict or stress. All you want are good friends, a cozy home, food on the table, and people who make you happy.

“She’s got something that moves my soul
And she knows
I’d love to love her
But she lets me down every time
Can’t make her mine
She’s no one’s lover”

The Grass Roots (Temptation Eyes)

Briefly. (I wonder these days but still, I did it! I extended my streak of consecutive days alive!)

I’m writing a book about beer. I’m on my fourth draft.

Trivia #1: Fatal lightning strikes in the U.S. this year are at? – 0, 3, 7, 11, 16, 23, 30, 57
Trivia #2: Who was the NY Yankees last 20-game winner?
Trivia #3: Which European player once went 12 consecutive Ryder Cup matches without losing? – Lee Westwood, Ian Poulter, Howard Clark, Francesco Molinari, Seve Ballesteros, Thomas Bjorn

On this date: September 26, 46 BC, Julius Caesar dedicates a temple to his mythical ancestor Venus Genetrix in accordance with a vow he made at the Battle of Pharsalus
September 26, 1665, Height of the Great Plague of London as 7,165 people die throughout the previous week
September 26, 1962, TV comedy series “The Beverly Hillbillies” premieres on CBS
September, 26, 1964, TV sitcom “Gilligan’s Island,” starring Bob Denver as Gilligan, debuts on CBS
September 26, 1988, Canada’s Ben Johnson is stripped of his 100-m gold after failing a drug test
September 26, 2017, The video game Fortnite: Battle Royale is released, eventually becoming one of the most popular games worldwide

People often ask me; “Ed, you haven’t updated us on the Colorado Rockies lately. How are they doing?” Note: No one has even mentioned the Rockies to me. Why? Because no one cares and neither do I.

Fill me to the marrow…

Article I’ll skip: US 7-Elevens getting Japanese makeover with $13B bet to bring upgrades, fresh food

They said it: “Everyone wanted to make it in America, it’s the land of opportunity. And I still believe it’s the best country in the world, and if you come here and work hard and dedicate yourself, you can be or do whatever you want.” – Rory McIlroy. McIlroy was part of the last team to win a road Ryder Cup in 2012, and he surely hopes to repeat history, in fact, he predicted it shortly after Europe’s win over Team USA two years ago. However, McIlroy spoke of his appreciation for what he called “the best country in the world.”

That’s right!

Playing with tigers, you’re doing it wrong. An Oklahoma man linked to Joe Exotic, featured in Netflix’s “Tiger King,” was killed during a tiger performance in Oklahoma. Ryan Easley, 37, was the owner of Growler Pines Tiger Preserve. He “lost his life in an accident involving a tiger” on Saturday, the preserve said.

Warning: The Black Course is an extremely difficult course which we recommend only for highly skilled golfers.

U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A.!

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: You may soon drive to an airport, then fly home. Alef Aeronautics announced formal agreements with Half Moon Bay and Hollister airports to begin test operations of a road-legal, vertical-takeoff flying car. This vehicle will drive and then take off vertically, operating alongside other aircraft. Those airports now join the company’s three existing test locations, making five in total.

The Red Sox need another day/win. LFG!

Speaking of the Patriots… Drake Maye. Is he “the guy?”

Good news: Scientists have found that specially formulated eye drops could restore close-up vision for many patients, offering a non-surgical, non-glasses approach to age-related vision loss. The study, presented on Sept. 14 at the 43rd Congress of the European Society of Cataract and Refractive Surgeons in Denmark, followed 766 patients, most in their mid-50s, who were experiencing the classic symptoms of presbyopia. 

Trivia #1 answer: Fatal lightning strikes in the U.S. this year are at? – 0, 3, 7, 11, 16, 23, 30, 57 – There have been 16 fatalities this year so far
Trivia #2: Who was the NY Yankees last 20-game winner? – CC Sabathia (21 in 2010)
Trivia #3: Which European player once went 12 consecutive Ryder Cup matches without losing? – Lee Westwood, Ian Poulter, Howard Clark, Francesco Molinari, Seve Ballesteros, Thomas Bjorn – Lee Westwood

“Captain, sensors have jut detected a meteor 5,280 feet in length.”
“That’ rather large, isn’t it Spock?”
“Yes sir, it appears to be some sort of milestone.”

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Dumpling Day!

Do you want to be the singer or do you want to be the song?

“She was the color of the Indian summer
And we shared the hours without number
Until one day when the sky turned dark
And the winds grew wild
Caught by the rain and blinded by the lightning
We rode the storm out there on Thunder Island”

Jay Ferguson (Thunder Island)

Bonus – Because I need one

Briefly.  (Though not as brief as last week)

Pilot: “Ladies & gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. If you look out the right side of the aircraft, you will notice flight 195 challenging us to a race. I’ve turned the fasten your seat belt sign back on because shit is about to get real!”

Trivia #1: Who was the last Colorado Rockies pitcher to win 20 games in a season?
Trivia #2: What was the first country to allow women to vote? – New Zealand, Spain, France, United States, Canada, Portugal, Jamaica
Trivia #3: Who won the 2005 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 2005)?

On this date: September 19, 335, Dalmatius is raised to the rank of Caesar by his uncle Constantine I 
September 19, 1796, George Washington’s farewell address as US President is published
September 19, 1863, Battle of Chickamauga, GA (near Chattanooga) begins; Union forces retreat after a couple days of fighting
September 19, 1888, one of the first known modern beauty contests is held in Spa, Belgium
September, 19, 1953, “Adventures of Superman” TV series starring George Reeves premieres in syndication in the US
September 19, 1960, Chubby Checker’s cover version of “The Twist” hits #1 on the Billboard Hot 100
September 19, 1988, American diver Greg Louganis hits his head on the diving board during the 3 m springboard preliminaries at the Seoul Olympics; he recovers to qualify for the final, which he wins the following day
September 19, 1990, American gangster film “Goodfellas”, directed by Martin Scorsese, starring Robert De Niro. Joe Pesci and Ray Liotta, premieres

“But don’t ask me what I think of you, I might not give the answer that you want me to”

Go away: Aaron Rodgers

I just don’t like Aaron Rodgers. I’m going to see him at Gillette Stadium on Sunday. While I would never hope he leaves the field on a stretcher, I hope he is able to walk off on his own… (I wonder if he misses changing Danica’s Patrick’s oil??)

Article I’ll skip: Belichick’s girlfriend reportedly lost a spot on Dancing with the Stars due to too many demands

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: X Square Robot just introduced Quanta X2, a highly advanced robotic butler designed for dexterity and versatility. Alongside the robot, it unveiled Wall-OSS, an open-source artificial intelligence (AI) model meant to power robots that can adapt to unpredictable real-world tasks. These big reveals come with a major funding boost of around $100 million in Series A+ backing led by Alibaba Cloud, with participation from HongShan, INCE Capital, Meituan, Legend Star and Legend Capital.

Artificial Intelligence. Let me tell you, that will never compensate for Natural Stupidity.

The Red Sox are killin’ me. (I love it!)

Good news: The “potentially hazardous” asteroid 2025 FA22 flew past Earth at more than 24,000 mph on Thursday (Sept. 18). The space rock was previously predicted to have a slim chance of impacting our planet in 2089, temporarily earning it the top spot on a major risk list.

You know those movies “Godzilla”, War of the Gargantua’s”, Jurassic Park”? How do they know what the dinosaurs sounded like? Are there audio clips out there somewhere??

Trivia #1 answer: Who was the last Colorado Rockies pitcher to win 20 games in a season? – They have never had one
Trivia #2: What was the first country to allow women to vote? – New Zealand, Spain, France, United States, Canada, Portugal, Jamaica – New Zealand (1893)
Trivia #3: Who won the 2005 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 2005)? – Carolina Hurricanes (NHL), San Antonio Spurs (NBA), Chicago White Sox (MLB), New England Patriots (NFL)

Old age is when it takes you longer to get over a good time than to have it.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Talk Like a Pirate Day! (Argh, argh, aaaaargh)

Chubby Checker (The Twist)

Bonus! (Great tune!)

“Now, when I talked to God I knew he’d understand
He said, ‘Stick by my side and I’ll be your guiding hand’”

Fleetwood Mac (Oh Well)

Briefly. (It didn’t run out that way…) And for those of you who look for this post at 5AM, yes, sometimes I post by 5AM. Sometimes, 6AM, 7AM, 8AM 9AM, usually not after 9AM. My point is, I’m not on the clock, so relax!

Last night I yanked a couple of nose hairs out just to see if it hurt. Judging by how fast my wife woke up screaming… I’m guessing quite a bit!

Trivia #1: Who is Johanfran Garcia and what is his nickname?
Trivia #2: In the movie Moneyball, Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) comes in one morning and sells the farm. Immediately after trading Carlos Pena, Billy eats what? – A Devil Dog, a pretzel, the remains off a breakfast sandwich, a Danish, a Dunkin Munchkin, a Twinkie
Trivia #3: In ‘Beavis & Butt-Head’, what heavy metal band is on the T-shirt worn by Beavis? – Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Def Leppard, Metallica, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest

Be sure to tune in tomorrow for the last edition of College Gameday featuring Lee Corso, who is retiring. When you have 7 minutes, I recommend watching the following tribute to Corso. It is always healthy to get a little misty-eyed first thing in the morning.

On this date: August 29, 708, Copper coins are minted in Japan for the first time (Traditional Japanese date: August 10, 708)
August 29, 1708, Raid in Haverhill, Massachusetts by French, Algonquin, and Abenaki forces kill or capture 40 people
August 29, 1862, Battle of Aspromonte; Italian royal forces defeat rebels in southern Italy, taking its leader Guiseppe Garibaldi prisoner
August 29, 1885, Boxing’s 1st heavyweight title fight with 3-oz gloves & 3-minute rounds fought between American boxers John L. Sullivan & Dominick McCaffrey in Cincinnati, Ohio
August 29, 1958, Cliff Richard and the Drifters release their debut single “Move It,” credited as the first British rock ‘n’ roll song
August 29, 1997, Netflix is founded by Marc Randolph and Reed Hastings in Scotts Valley, California, as an online DVD rental business
August 29, 2005, Hurricane Katrina makes its second and third landfall as a Category 3 hurricane, devastating much of the Gulf Coast from Louisiana to the Florida Panhandle, killing more than 1,836 people and causing over $115 billion in damage
August 29, 2013, Actor Gary Sinise is named an honorary Marine by the Commandant of the Marine Corps (Can you say; “Leuitenant Dan!?”)

Curious, I did a little more research into the aforementioned “raid on Haverhill.” – The Raid on Haverhill was a military engagement that took place on August 29, 1708, during Queen Anne’s War. French, Alonquin and Abenaki warriors under the command of Jean-Baptiste Hertel de Rouville descended on Haverhill, then a small frontier community in the Providence of Massachusetts Bay. In the surprise attack, 16 people were killed and another 14 to 24 were taken captive. A rapid militia muster gave chase, and in a skirmish later in the day, nine of the French and Indian party were killed and some of their prisoners escaped. Haverhill was not the original target of the raiders. Expecting a larger Indian contingent, French authorities planned to engage in a series of raids on the communities of the Piscataqua River. However, the unwillingness of some Indian tribes to participate in the expedition forced the French to reduce the scope of the operation and choose an easier target.

So there…

Apparently, there is another sequel to the Bourne movie series coming out and it will star a former New England Patriot. It will be called the Bourne Delinquency.

Go away: Micah Parsons (I really can’t believe Dallas traded this guy. As much history and tradition that the Cowboys have, this has to be one of the worst moves they’ve made, ever.)

OK, so the Red Sox are fun to watch. Please, please, no late-season swoon, please.

I don’t know about you Patriots’ fans out there, but I’m rooting for the University of North Carolina and new head coach Bill Belichick. In what appears to be a natural setting for Bill, the Tarheels open next Monday Night.

Buckle-up! College football beings for real this weekend!

Go Irish!

I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to school together.

Article I’ll skip: LeBron James Swings into a New Passion for Golf

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Trey Wright was over the moon for his new girlfriend, a cheerleader he’d been dating going into summer break from school. But after an apparent fight, she allegedly set him up to die, then visited the hospital before his family knew what happened. Gianna Kistenmacher, 17, is being charged as an adult after authorities say she brought Devan Raper, 19, to Wright’s location, knowing he was armed, angry and allegedly willing to shoot. In all, there are seven teens who are either over 18 or being charged as adults – plus another two juveniles, who are all accused of playing a role in the setup and shooting.

Good news: Sometimes the drive-thru is unavoidable – but it doesn’t have to be a diet disaster. Though fast food has long been associated with gaining weight, a nutritionist said that you can eat select McDonald’s meals without packing on lots of pounds. The key is moderation and focusing on protein – and these “diet-friendly” options shouldn’t be consumed every day. (Editor’s note: “Sometimes the drive-thru is unavoidable”? That’s wrong right there, folks. Keep driving!

“The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain

Trivia #1 answer: Trivia #1: Who is Johanfran Garcia and what is his nickname? – Last week, we gave you Jhostynxon Garcia, “The Password.” Johanfran is J’s brother, who plays for Single A Greenville (Red Sox). His nickname is “The Username” (can’t make that shit up!)
Trivia #2 answer: In the movie Moneyball, Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) comes in one morning and sells the farm. Immediately after trading Carlos Pena, Billy eats what? – A Devil Dog, a pretzel, the remains off a breakfast sandwich, a Danish, a Dunkin Munchkin, a Twinkie – Billy consumes a Twinkie (2 bites!)
Trivia #3 answer: In ‘Beavis & Butt-Head’, what heavy metal band is on the T-shirt worn by Beavis? – Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Def Leppard, Metallica, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest – Metallica (AC/DC is on Butthead’s T-shirt)

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Lemon Juice Day!

Not to brag but I was alive when you could slam the phone down to hang up on someone. It was spectacular!

“C’mon pretty baby let’s a move it and a-groove it
Well shake oh baby, shake oh honey, please don’t lose it
The rhythm that gets into your heart and soul
Well, let me tell you baby, it’s called rock ‘n’ roll”

Cliff Richard and the Drifters (Move it) – Rock ‘n Roll, baby!

This one’s for Beavis!

Briefly.

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.

Trivia #1: Who is the only MLB player to record at least 500 hits for 4 different teams?
Trivia #2: Who was the NFL Offensive Player of the Year in 1994?
Trivia #3: Who is Jhostynxon Garcia and what is his nickname?

On this date: August 22, 392, Arbogast has Eugenius elected Western Roman Emperor, though unrecognized by  Eastern Roman Emperor Theodosius
August 22, 1798, French troops land at Kilcummin Harbour in County Mayo, Ireland, to aid Wolfe Tone’s United Irishmen in the Irish Rebellion
August 22, 1864, First Geneva Convention adopted in Geneva “for the Amelioration of the Condition of the Wounded in Armies in the Field” is signed by 12 nations
August 22, 1902, US President Theodore Roosevelt becomes the first US president to ride in an electric car
August 22, 1959, American Football League is officially named at a meeting in Dallas, Texas; charter members are Dallas, New York, Houston, Denver, Los Angeles, and Minneapolis-Saint Paul
August 22, 2018, Longest-ever bull market for Standard & Poor’s 500-stock index at 3,453 days (using a 19.9% decline in 1990 as the start)

Go away: Cracker Barrel

Speaking of the Red Sox… The team has their annual NFL fantasy draft coming up. How did they determine the draft order? Bench coach, and former Sox’ captain, Jason Varitek took batting practice and got one swing for each person in the draft. Depending on how far he hit it for each person, that was where they fell in the draft order. Poor Greg Weissert got the last pick as his ball was fouled into the top of the batting cage.

Hiding the evidence, you’re doing it wrong: The body of Sheylla Cabrera, 33, was found on Aug. 13 in Angeles National Forest wrapped in a tarp or sheet similar to the one her husband, 36-year-old Jossimar Cabrera, was seen pulling the day before on camera footage. DOH!

Thankfully, preseason football is almost over.

Go Pats!

I wish mosquitos would suck fat instead of blood.

Article I’ll skip: Fever star’s injury woes deepen as teammates reveal ‘day-by-day’ struggle

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: For many college students, back-to-school prep isn’t just about dorm decor and classroom supplies. A growing number of parents are reportedly sending their kids back to school with Narcan.
This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: You can now play the lottery via DraftKings.

Good news: The Chicago Bears may have Caleb Williams as the future at quarterback, but the dedication of his backup, Tyson Bagent, led general manager Ryan Poles to give him a reported two-year, $10 million contract extension. “A lot of people don’t know this, but my dad is my right-hand man,” Bagent told reporters while wiping away tears. “He didn’t have running water until high school, so there’s definitely a lot of people I can certainly help with this gift I’ve been blessed with. It’s certainly a weight off my shoulders and my family’s shoulders.” Cool story.

There’s still plenty of good in this world. If you don’t see it, maybe it’s your turn to be it.

Trivia #1 answer: Who is the only MLB player to record at least 500 hits for 4 different teams? – Rusty Staub – Houston Astros (792), NY Mets (709), Detroit Tigers (582), Montreal Expos (531), plus… Texas Rangers (102)
Trivia #2 answer: Who was the NFL Offensive Player of the Year in 1994? – Barry Sanders
Trivia #3 answer: Who is Jhostynxon Garcia and what is his nickname? – He is a Boston Red Sox prospect who was called up to the Major League team in August 2025. His nickname “Password” comes from his first name, Jhostynxon, which is difficult to pronounce and spell. Funny

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Tooth Fairy Day!

Defense lawyer to the police officer: “A woman shot her husband because he stepped on her freshly mopped floor.”
Police officer: “That is correct.”
Defense lawyer: “And it took you 20 minutes to arrest her. Why?”
Police officer: “Because the floor was still wet.”

“There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it’s been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God, I know I’m one

My mother was a tailor
She sewed my new blue jeans
My father was a gamblin’ man
Down in New Orleans”

The Animals (The House of the Rising Sun)

Briefly.

Me at 16: “This radio station is playing my song!”
Me at 21: “This bar is playing my song!”
Me now: “This grocery store is playing my song!”

Trivia #1: What MLB catcher has the most All-Star game starts?
Trivia #2: Who was the first Japanese player to play in MLB? – Hideo Nomo, Shigetoshi Hasegawa, Masato Yoshi, Hideki Irabu, Takashi Kashiwada, Masanori Murakami

On this date: August 15, 636, Beginning of the five-day decisive Battle at Yarmuk: Muslim forces defeat the Byzantine army to take control of Syria for the first time
August 15, 1620, Mayflower sets sail from Southampton, England, with 102 Pilgrims
August 15, 1824, Freed American slaves establish Liberia on the West African coast through the American Colonization Society (ACS)
August 15, 1906, 1st freight delivery tunnel system begins, underneath Chicago
August 15, 1939, “The Wizard of Oz”, American musical fantasy film adaptation of L. Frank Baum’s book, premieres at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, Hollywood
August 15, 1945, Victory over Japan Day, Surrender of Japan marks the end of World War II (August 14 in the Americas due to the time zone difference)
August 15, 1969, Woodstock Festival opens in Bethel, New York on Max Yasgur’s Dairy Farm; performers include Richie Havens, Tim Hardin, Ravi Shankar, Melanie, Arlo Guthrie, and Joan Baez
August 15, 1975, MLB Baltimore Orioles manager Earl Weaver is ejected from both games of a home doubleheader against the Texas Rangers
August, 15, 2008, Lee Berger and his nine-year-old son, Matthew, discover the two-million-year-old fossils of a new species of human ancestor (Australopithecus sediba) at Malapa Cave, South Africa

Stop complaining: A long-duration heat wave is underway across Denver and much of eastern Colorado, with 7 to 10 straight days of highs at or above 90 degrees expected.

Go away: Taylor Swift (Football season must be approaching)

Go Pats!

Taking care of yourself, you’re doing it wrong: Hayley McNeff, a nationally ranked bodybuilder, nutritionist and life coach, has died. She was 37. McNeff’s death was reported was described as “unexpected but peaceful.” 

The person who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no-bell prize.

Article I’ll skip: New research compares gut health effect ‘indicators’ of beef vs chicken

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: “Out of control” teens have turned community events into battlegrounds in one New Jersey town, prompting a new law that could send parents to jail for their children’s misbehavior. According to the Township of Gloucester Minors and Parents Responsibility Ordinance, if a child is repeatedly found guilty of loitering, repeated school absences, violating curfew, felonies or other offenses, their parents could face up to 90 days in prison and a $2,000 fine.

Good news: If you work at Walmart… Walmart Chief People Officer Donna Morris told employees in a Wednesday memo, that the company was simplifying and expanding its Walmart Associate Discount Card program, effective immediately, to all food categories. With the change, the associate discount now covers 95% of regularly priced items across the store. Previously, the discount only applied to fresh produce and most general merchandise. 

Trivia #1 answer: What MLB catcher has the most All-Star game starts? – Ivan Rodriguez (12)
Trivia #2: Who was the first Japanese player to play in MLB? – Hideo Nomo, Shigetoshi Hasegawa, Masato Yoshi, Hideki Irabu, Takashi Kashiwada, Masanori Murakami – Masatori Murakami (San Francisco Giants, 1964-1965)

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Lemon Meringue Pie Day!

I went to an antique auction yesterday… three people bid on me.

Santana (Soul Sacrifice)) – Crank it up!

Speaking of Earl Weaver… (Language alert. Be careful who’s in earshot!)

Briefly.

My wife says I can be an idiot sometimes. Pretty cool of her to give me permission like that.

Trivia #1: Who was the NFL Offensive Player of the Year in 1972?
Trivia #2: In 1967, what pitcher struck out Willie Mays, Roberto Clemente, Brooks Robinson, Willie McCovery, Maury Wills and Harmon Killebrew, in order, during an exhibition game at Dodger Stadium?
Trivia #3: What golfer ranks No. 1 among all Fedex Cup money earners?
Trivia #4: On the Periodic Table of Elements, what chemical element does “TI” represent? 

On this date: August 8, 70, Tower of Antonia destroyed by Romans
August 8, 1576, Cornerstone laid for Tycho Brahe’s observatory in Uraniborg, Denmark, when built becomes the world’s most advanced research institution
August 8, 1786, US Congress unanimously chooses the dollar as the monetary unit for the United States of America
August 8, 1844, Brigham Young chosen as head of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints following the death of Joseph Smith
August 8, 1911, The millionth patent is filed in the United States Patent Office by Francis Holton for a tubeless vehicle tire
August 8, 1929, German airship Graf Zeppelin begins the first round-the-world flight by airship, departing from Lakehurst, New Jersey
August 8, 1940, German “Aufbau Ost” directive is signed by Wilhelm Keitel, to mobilize German forces in the East before the start of Operation Barbarossa and the invasion of the Soviet Union
August 8, 1960, “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” hits #1 on the Billboard Hot 100
August 8, 1976, Chicago White Sox suit up in shorts

Go away: Ozzy Osborne. OK, so now I’ve had about enough of Ozzy. Let’s move on, shall we?

Did you watch any NFL exhibition football last night? If not, you can watch it tonight, tomorrow and Sunday!

Go Pats!

Article I’ll skip: The 15 weirdest things you can buy on Amazon

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: More than 4,400 wildfires have been reported in California this year, an increase from 3,800 at this time last year. More than 221,100 acres have burned this year, exceeding the 83,200 acres burned through July of last year.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: WNBA Indiana Fever superstar Sophie Cunningham appeared to be hit by a projectile sex toy during Tuesday night’s game against the Los Angeles Sparks in the final minutes of the second quarter as the Fever prepared to inbound the ball.

Good news: More than 7 million Americans have Alzheimer’s disease, and testing for it may soon be a lot easier: The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved the first blood test that can help doctors diagnose the disease in some patients.

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I thought I nailed it, but nobody saw it.

Trivia #1 answer: Who was the NFL Offensive Player of the Year in 1972? – Larry Brown
Trivia #2 answer: In 1967, what pitcher struck out Willie Mays, Roberto Clemente, Brooks Robinson, Willie McCovery, Maury Wills and Harmon Killebrew, in order, during an exhibition game at Dodger Stadium? – Eddie Felger (The King and His Court)
Trivia #3 answer: What golfer ranks No. 1 among all Fedex Cup money earners? – Rory McIlroy ($69,515,615)
Trivia #4 answer: On the Periodic Table of Elements, what chemical element does “TI” represent? – Thallium

Don’t be that guy/gal! Don’t make that lefthand, 90 degree turn into a 45 degree turn, thereby making the car coming the other way stop so you can get through the corner. Jeez!

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National CBD Day!

I told a joke on a Zoom meeting yesterday. Nobody laughed. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

“It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow, polka dot bikini
That she wore for the first time today
An itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow, polka dot bikini
So, in the locker, she wanted to stay”

Brian Hyland (Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini)

Note: I was expecting someone a little older in that video. Frankly, I find it all rather disturbing.

Bonus! “John Henry Bonham!”

                                    Good night, everybody!

Briefly. (It didn’t turn out that way…)

Read the vowels in Celine Dion out loud. Thank you and you’re welcome.

It appears that, from feedback I’ve received, my trivia has been rather easy as of late. Well…

Trivia #1: Currently, the amount of mail volume handled by the USPS is what? – 33%, 44%, 55%, 66%, 77%, 88%
Trivia #2: Which state became the 38^th state of the Union on August 1, 1876?
Trivia #3: On August 1, 1945, Mel Ott became just the third MLB player to reach 500 homeruns. Besides Babe Ruth, what other player had 500+ homeruns at the time?
Trivia #4: Who is Nick Kurtz?

On this date: August 1, 30 BC, Octavian (later known as Augustus) enters Alexandria, Egypt, bringing it under the control of the Roman Republic (I’ve decided to include the oldest historical reference I can find, moving forward, useless as it may be)
August 1, 1774, English chemist Joseph Priestley discovers oxygen by isolating it in its gaseous state
August 1, 1789, US Customs begins enforcing the Tariff Act
August 1, 1867, Blacks vote for 1st time in a US state election in the South (Tennessee)
August 1, 1911, Harriet Quimby passes her pilot’s test and becomes the 1st US woman to earn an Aero Club of America aviator’s certificate
August 1, 1918, Pittsburgh and the Boston Braves play a MLB record 20 scoreless innings before Pirates win, 2-0 in 21.
August 1, 1992, American sprinter Gail Devers wins an incredibly close blanket finish in the women’s 100m at the Barcelona Olympics, with 5 athletes within 0.06 seconds of Devers (10.82)
August 1, 2016, Anthrax outbreak in Yamalo-Nenets, Siberia kills one and infects eight others, also kills 2,300 reindeer; global warming is blamed.

Go away: Craig Breslow, Chief Baseball Officer for the Boston Red Sox. Mindset: Sunday, July 27, you face a pitcher (the Dodgers’ Dustin May, no relation to Drake) and get to him for 4 runs over 5 innings with 5 hits including a homerun. Thursday, July 31; “Oh, what? Dustin May is available? He looked great the other night, let’s grab him!”

Go Pats!

Article I’ll skip: Justin Trudeau attends Katy Perry concert in Montreal after being seen dining with her.

Speaking of Scottie Sheffler (again) DYK…, 1,197 days went by between his first PGA major victory and his 4^th PGA major victory. Tiger Woods? 1,197 days between his 1^st and 4^th. Whoaaaa, huh?!

Turbulence, ya! 25 people were transported to local hospitals Wednesday when a flight from Salt Lake City experienced severe turbulence and rerouted to Minneapolis. Delta flight DL56 was carrying 275 passengers and 13 crew members from Salt Lake City to Amsterdam when it was forced to divert to Minneapolis Saint Paul International Airport after the flight encountered significant turbulence while en route. Flight attendants were sent flying when they were in the aisle with beverage carts. 

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The gunman who opened fire at a Reno casino on Monday fired 80 shots during a deadly rampage that left three people dead and several others injured. The suspect legally purchased 9mm handgun two years ago and had no criminal or mental health history. Where do these thugs come from???

Good news: Ten thousand steps per day has been widely recommended as the standard benchmark for physically activity — but a new study suggests that just 7,000 could be enough to boost essential health markers.

Get to the dentist! The majority of older adults have periodontal disease, the number one cause of tooth loss. Losing your teeth can dramatically affect more than your smile. It ups your risk for a whole host of late-life health hazards, from heart disease, to cancer to dementia. Follow me for more health tips…

Good news, part deux: An Iowa family recently celebrated a major milestone for a very special baby. Mollie and Randall Keen welcomed their son, Nash Keen, on July 5, 2024. He was born 133 days early, at just 21 weeks gestation. Guinness World Records has officially recognized Nash as the world’s most premature baby to survive.

Dan Shaughnessy, Leigh Montville, Bob Ryan and Peter Gammons threw out the first pitches on Tuesday night at Fuller Field (home of the Cape Cod Baseball League Commodores). That’s the Boston Globe Sports Mount Rushmore (no offense to the late, great Will McDonough).

Trivia #1 answer: Currently, the amount of mail volume handled by the USPS is what? – 33%, 44%, 55%, 66%, 77%, 88% – The USPS handles 44% of all mail in the US.
Trivia #2 answer: Which state became the 38^th state of the Union on August 1, 1876? – Colorado
Trivia #3 answer: On August 1, 1945, Mel Ott became just the third MLB player to reach 500 homeruns. Besides Babe Ruth, what other player had 500+ homeruns? – Jimmy Foxx
Trivia #4 answer: Who is Nick Kurtz? – The Oakland Athletics’ 6-foot-5, 240-pound rookie who went 6-for-6 the other night with four homeruns (only one player has ever done both in a single game), scored 6 runs (just the 9^th time that has happened), 8 RBIs, 19 total bases.

Don’t be that guy! “Reply all”, you know who you are. Don’t do it!

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Water Balloon Day!

I’ve made some bad choices in my life, but at least I’ve never owned a pair of crocs.

Incredible tributes out there for the late, great Ozzy Osborne. Several musicians attended his private funeral, some played tribute. Others offered words. Jam packed streets of Birmingham, England for the funeral procession. Bear with me through one more listen to Black Sabbath…

“Take me through the centuries to supersonic years
Electrifying enemy is drowning in his tears
All I have to give you is a love that never dies
The symptom of the universe is written in your eyes… yaaaa”

– Black Sabbath (Symptom of the Universe)

And for those of you who are sick of Ozzy (blaspheme!), here you go.