Author: fasted86

Friday, January 5, 2024

by fasted86

Briefly.

That awkward moment between never drinking again and noon.

Trivia #1: The Patriots and Red Sox both finished last in their divisions, in the same year, for just the 2nd time in the 64 years they both existed. The other year was 1992. Who were the Red Sox manager and Patriots coach in 1992?
Trivia #2: Who was Charles F. Dowd?
Trivia #3: What happened on this day in 1997 in Patriots history?
Trivia #4: All players, in their first 30 games of a season, in the 3-point era, with… PTS ≥ 500 AST ≥ 150 TRB ≥ 100 BLK ≥ 35 STL ≥ 35 2P% ≥ .475 3P% ≥ .400 FT% ≥ .800 – Larry Bird and ???

Go away: NFL referees

For Sale, Chris.

I’m opening a gym called “Resolutions.” It will have exercise equipment for the first two weeks and then it turns into a bar for the rest of the year.

Are you ready for some football! 20 NFL teams remain in playoff contention entering the final weekend of the season, tying the record set in 2006.

Not for nothing, but the Indy/Houston game tomorrow night is a playoff game as are several games on Sunday. Let the snow fall, shovel later.

On this date: January 5, 1886, the “Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” by Robert Louis Stevenson is published.
January 5, 1971, the Globetrotters lose 100-99 to the NJ Reds, ending their 2,495-game winning streak.

Stop complaining: It’s a new year. Just stop and be thankful for what you have, not what you have not.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The rise of plant-based options continues with a focus on seafood. Imagine “salmon” made from carrots, “scallops” made from mushrooms, and sushi topped with root vegetable “tuna.” It might sound strange, but in 2024, this is what we’ll be ordering. (Hmmm, sounds similar to making a man into a woman or vice-versa. It is, but it ain’t. Call it what you want)

In case you missed it, there were 5 goals scored in the first 8 minutes of last night’s Bruins/Penguins game. The Bruins lost.

Spirit Airlines terminated an agent who walked a boy who was flying as an unaccompanied minor to the wrong gate, causing him to land at the Orlando airport instead of Fort Myers, more than 160 miles away. Grandma, who was picking him up, was pissed!

They said it: “Don’t make me come down there.” – God

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: The NBA season record for teams scoring >= 140 points in a game is 52 set last season. This year’s pace is set for 90 games. D-fense!

Article I’ll skip: First “Golden Bachelor” wedding packed full of surprises, special moments.

Good news (maybe): According to Fundstrat’s Tom Lee, the S&P 500 stands a chance of soaring as much as 30% this year, with the expectation that inflation will continue to drop and the Fed will finally slash interest rates. Lee was spot-on in his stock market forecast in 2023, having predicted the S&P 500 would soar over 20% to end the year around 4,750. The benchmark stock index ended the year around 4,769, less than 1% away from Lee’s target.

WTF: South African athlete Oscar Pistorius was released from prison on parole on Friday after serving nearly nine years for the shooting death of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, on Valentine’s Day in 2013. WTF, that was 9 years ago!!!?

It really is a great time for sports – NFL playoffs looming, college football playoffs, college basketball, NBA/NHL seasons in full swing and the PGA is getting underway. Screw the gym, pull up the recliner.

I told you, the kiss of death. Those of you in the northeast, git’ your shovels out!

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym this morning. That’s 11 years in a row now.

Trivia #1 answer: The Patriots and Red Sox both finished last in their divisions, in the same year, for just the 2nd time in the 64 years they both existed. The other year was 1992. Who were the Red Sox manager and Patriots coach in 1992? – Butch Hobson and Dick MacPherson
Trivia #2: Who was Charles F. Dowd? – Dowd created time zones. He put the rotation of the Earth, the rise of the sun, the movements of the heavens and the genesis of eternity itself on an artificial schedule for the benefit of mankind.
Trivia #3 answer: What happened on this day in 1997 in Patriots history? – The Patriots won their first home playoff game in their 36-year history.
Trivia #4 answer: All players, in their first 30 games of a season, in the 3-point era, with… PTS ≥ 500 AST ≥ 150 TRB ≥ 100 BLK ≥ 35 STL ≥ 35 2P% ≥ .475 3P% ≥ .400 FT% ≥ .800 – Larry Bird, Derrick White (Really, that’s what it said! It’s on the internet!)

Those we love remain with us for love itself lives on, and cherished memories never fade because a loved one’s gone. Those we love can never be more than a thought apart, for as long as there is a memory, they’ll live on in our heart.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Whipped Cream Day!

“And I know if she had me back again
Well I would never make her sad.
I’ve gotta heart full of soul.”

Yardbirds

Friday, December 29, 2023

by fasted86

Briefly. (Nope)

A bottle of wine is the perfect amount for two people, provided one of them is not drinking any.

Trivia #1: What is Xiangqi?
Trivia #2: In 1890, the US 7th Cavalry massacred 200+ captive Sioux at Wounded Knee. What US state were they in?
Trivia #3: What NHL player was the fastest to 100 goals (# of games)?
Trivia #4: 50 years ago…Who won the 1973 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 1973)?

Go away: OK, don’t go away – Joe Flacco. Come on, give it up for Joe. Flacco become the first player in NFL history to have 250 passing yards and multiple passing touchdowns in each of his first five games with a franchise. The Cleveland Browns are now 4-1 under Flacco and clinched a playoff spot.

Wisdom has been chasing you… but you have always been faster.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: California stores with more than 500 employees will soon be fined for not having a “gender-neutral” toy section once a new state law kicks in Jan. 1. The bill will force stores that sell childcare items or toys to pay a $500 fine should the store fail to create a gender-neutral toy section for kids 12 years old and under. A childcare item, according to the legislation text, “means any product designed or intended by the manufacturer to facilitate sleep, relaxation, or the feeding of children, or to help children with sucking or teething.” Huh?

On this date: December 29, 1972, Life Magazine ceased publication
December 29, 1982, Jamaican Post issues commemorative postage stamp featuring reggae singer Bob Marley

Remember, Sunday is December 31 or… 12-31-23 – 123123! Whoa!

Christmas shopping, you’re doing it wrong: Abrielle Baldwin, her two sons, ages 6 and 10 months, were out shopping with her two teenage brothers, ages 15 and 14, and their mother. Baldwin’s 14-year-old brother was apparently upset that his older brother was getting more gifts than him, sparking an argument. The argument carried on at Baldwin’s home. The 14-year-old took out a handgun and threatened to shoot his older brother in the head. Family members present at the home tried separating the teens. The younger teen then began arguing with Baldwin. He then allegedly shot her in the chest with a .40 caliber handgun. The 15-year-old teen then took out his own .45 caliber handgun and shot his brother in the stomach. 

In all-world quarterback Patrick Mahomes’ last 8 games, he is 3-5 (.375), hitting 64.6% of his passes for 1,921 yards, 11 TD and 8 INT. DOH!

Speaking of futility, the Detroit Pistons lost in OT to the Celtics last night tying the record with their 28th consecutive loss. The night before they set the record for losses in a single season.

They said it: “I’m unbelievably proud of the group, the way they bring it. They’ve heard all the stuff about our team and they just keep bringing it. I know it’s going to pay off.” – Detroit Pistons coach Monty Williams (In other words, they have a chance!)

The Celtics meanwhile are 15-0 at home and have the league’s best record at 24-6.

Despite some recent shoddy play, the Bruins are still tops in goals allowed and second in total points.

Seen on Twitter: “Taylor Swift is to the Kansas City Chiefs what Yoko Ono was to the Beatles.” And “Thank you, Taylor Swift for Yoko Ono’ing the Chiefs.”

Betting, you’re doing it right. Did you see the guy who hit a $5, 14-man anytime touchdown parlay for $489K? Wowza!

WTF! The Chinese Xiangqi Association (CXA) announced it was stripping Yan Chenglong of his title of “Xiangqi King” over cheating allegations and “extremely bad character.” Officials addressed the 48-year-old champion’s behavior in the post-game celebrations. Yan apparently consumed alcohol with others in his room on the night of the 17th, and then he defecated in the bathtub of the room he was staying in on the 18th. How did he cheat, you ask? Yan was rumored to have used anal beads with wireless transmitters to help him in the contests. Really.

Interest-free checking. Me: “I’d like to open an account.” Teller: “Who cares?”

Before you go betting on the Buffalo Bills tomorrow, keep in mind that since 2000, at home, they are 4-19 (.174) vs. Bill Belichick and 103-67 (.606) vs. the rest of the league. 

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: See trivia question #1
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: Bailey Zappe is 4-2 after 6 starts. Tom Brady was 4-2 after 6 starts.

Again?! A tourist from Singapore tragically plummeted to her death from a cliff (70 feet) at a New York state park last week while hiking with her husband. She and her husband had been hiking when they stopped to take photos at the edge of the cliff. 

Studies have shown that the reason you may be awake right now is because you are not asleep.

T-minus 9 days and the NFL still has not announced the start times of games next Sunday, the final weekend of the regular season.

Good news: Kiss-of-death maybe but, I still haven’t shoveled snow this season.

Article I’ll skip: CFP (College Football Playoff) odds… for next season

Trivia #1 answer: What is Xiangqi? – It is the official title of what is known as Chinese Chess.
Trivia #2: In 1890, the US 7th Cavalry massacred 200+ captive Sioux at Wounded Knee. What US state were they in? – South Dakota
Trivia #3: What NHL player was the fastest to 100 goals (# of games)? – Mike Bossy (129), (Teemu Selanne is second at 134)
Trivia #4: 50 years ago…Who won the 1973 championships in the NHL, NBA, MLB and the NFL (Super Bowl played in 1973)? – NHL (Montreal Canadiens), NBA (New York Knicks), MLB (Oakland Athletics), NFL (Miami Dolphins)

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma, well played.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Be safe, and have a healthy, happy New Years. And enjoy the college bowl games!

Happy National No Interruptions Day! (Last work day of the year)

“My son turned ten just the other day
He said, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play
Can you teach me to throw”, I said “Not today
I got a lot to do”, he said, “That’s okay”

Harry Chapin (Cat’s In The Cradle)

Friday, December 22, 2023

by fasted86

Briefly. (Not really but it’s a long, holiday weekend. Relax!)

I don’t always roll a joint, but when I do it’s my ankle.

Trivia #1: What team currently holds the longest active playoff drought (13 seasons) in all of the NHL, NBA, NFL & MLB?
Trivia #2: What two schools play in the Egg Bowl each season?
Trivia #3: The term “bowl” originated from the Rose Bowl stadium, site of the first postseason college football games. The Rose Bowl Stadium, in turn, takes its name and bowl-shaped design from what other stadium?

Go away: The Los Angeles Dodgers

And tonight thank God it’s them, instead of you.

I don’t know, I like listening to Christmas tunes during the season. Having said that, I’m glad the season is nearing its end as I’ve heard some songs 100 times, it seems. There most annoying? It has to be The Chipmunk Song. Those voices piercing through my head…

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: While consumers can fall victim to a variety of scams, experts say gift card draining was one of the most common scams that affected people’s lives in 2023. What’s worse, just about any gift card is vulnerable. Card draining occurs when a thief tampers with a gift card and “drains” the money before the funds are used by the consumer. AARP reported last year that 23% of U.S. consumers had given or received gift cards that did not have money on them.

On this day: December 22, 1882, the first string of Christmas lights was created by Thomas Edison

The Bruins aren’t as hot as they were at the beginning of the season but they are still second in the NHL in points.

Speaking of hockey, the Celtics are 14-0 at home to start the season, second only to their 1957/1958 season when they started 18-0.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A lawsuit accuses Amazon of enabling a West Virginia man to spy on an underage Brazilian girl with a hidden camera. The device, which resembles a clothes hook, was purchased from Amazon and used to record the girl. The suit alleges that Amazon failed to remove the camera from its platform despite inspecting it three times and knowing the potential harm it could cause.

I don’t know, if they’ll be snow, but have a cup of cheer (okay)

The NFL has yet to announce the starting times of games for week 18, the final Sunday of the season. Bastards, with just over two weeks to go. Regardless, according to ESPN, the lowest ticket prices for those games range from $223 for Buffalo at Miami all the way down to $9 for Tampa Bay at Carolina. That’s disgusting.

They said it: “I received my bachelor’s degree in Calcium Anthropology… the study of milkmen.” – Comedian Steven Wright
They said it, part deux: “Well you see, Buddy, your father is on the naughty list” – Santa, to Buddy the elf

Yoshinobu Yamamoto, a 25-year-old who has been named the MVP of the Pacific League in the Nippon Professional Baseball league in Japan for three straight years, has agreed to a 12-year, $325 million deal with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Yoshinobu’s contract is the largest ever given to a pitcher in the history of baseball, breaking Gerrit Cole’s $324 million pact he signed in 2019. It also shatters the record for the largest deal ever given to a Japanese import by more than double the previous amount – that had belonged to Masahiro Tanaka, who in 2014 signed a seven-year, $155 million deal with the New York Yankees. Again, he’s 25 years old.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: American wrestler Hulk Hogan announced that he had been baptized in a special ceremony at the Indian Rocks Baptist Church in Florida.
Useless information supposed to fire my imagination, part deux: Vanna White has worn more than 7,000 outfits on “Wheel of Fortune”

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas… keep dreaming

Good news: Widely regarded as the breakout year for AI, 2023 ushered in a whole crop of new and improved tech tools, many of which have impacted the health and wellness space. Andre Esteva, CEO and co-founder of ArteraAI, a precision medicine company in California, described cancer research as “fertile ground for AI.” “We’re using it to find hidden patterns in data, personalize treatment decision-making and help predict treatment benefit,” he said. AI is helping to speed up clinical trials and opening doors to new possibilities in health. “Imagine AI designing cancer treatments tailored to your unique genome — the possibilities are limitless.”

Sort of good news: The national average price of gas has declined 13 straight weeks, falling to its lowest level since 2021. (It’s still too high)

Article I’ll skip: Bill Belichick among coaches on hot seat as NFL season nears end
Another article I’ll skip: Santa Claus falls on Madonna back-up dancer during lap dance attempt gone wrong

The days get longer starting today. See, it wasn’t that bad!

Trivia #1 answer: What team currently holds the longest active playoff drought (13 seasons) in all of the NHL, NBA, NFL & MLB? – The New York Jets
Trivia #2 answer: What two schools play in the Egg Bowl each season? – Mississippi State and Ole Miss
Trivia #3 answer: The term “bowl” originated from the Rose Bowl stadium, site of the first postseason college football games. The Rose Bowl Stadium, in turn, takes its name and bowl-shaped design from what stadium? – The Yale Bowl

You’ve heard of Elf on the Shelf, but have you ever heard of return your f*n shopping cart to the goddamn stall, you inconsiderate piece of shit?

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Forefather’s Day!

And have a Merry Christmas, however you choose to celebrate. ‘Tis the season, spread some cheer.

“Said Santa to a boy child, ‘What have you been longin’ for?’
‘All I want for Christmas is a rock ‘n’ roll ‘lectric guitar’
And then away went Rudolph whizzin’ like a shootin’ star”

(Sorry, but there wasn’t a Chuck Berry video-version out there worthy of posting)

Christmas bonus!

“They’re singing Deck The Halls
But it’s not like Christmas at all
‘Cause I remember when you were here
And all the fun we had last year”

– Darlene Love (Baby Please Come Home)

Friday, December 15, 2023

by fasted86

Briefly.

That fact that my entire body cracks like a glowstick whenever I move yet refuses to glow, is very disappointing.

Trivia #1: Mosi Tatupu played for the New England Patriots from 1978-1990. He played for another team in 1991. What was that team?
Trivia #2: On December 15, 1791, the first US law school was established at what university? – Pennsylvania, Yale, Harvard, Princeton, Brown, Lowell
Trivia #3: B.B. King. What does “B.B.” stand for?
Trivia #4: What is Howard University’s nickname?

Go away: Patrick Mahomes (Draymond Green with a close second)

DYK: Mosi Tatupu was posthumously diagnosed with CTE. He died of a heart attack at age 54. Bonus trivia: In a 2023 report, how many NFL players were diagnosed with CTE amongst the 376 who had their brains scanned? – 100-125, 126-150, 151-200, 201- 250, 251-300, 301-350

There’s still time to change the road you’re on.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: A history teacher at a Seattle high school allegedly gave a student a failing quiz grade after he answered that only women can get pregnant and only men can have penises.

Fun fact: The world population is approximately 8,030,610,062. The number of people born to women is 8,030,610,062. The number of people born to men is zero. Look it up.

On this day: December 15, 1810, the first Irish magazine “Shamrock” was published in the US.
December 15, 2006, American blues legend B.B. King was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President George W. Bush

They said it: “It’s tough to swallow. Not only from me, and football in general, to take away greatness like that, for a guy like Travis to make a play like that, you want to see the guys on the field decide the game.” – Patrick Mahomes. Wah-wah-wah

Really? Colorado attorneys for two men accused of stealing items from Kohl’s, including KitchenAid appliances, argued for lesser charges during the trial because some items their clients stole were on sale.

Shohei Ohtani signed on with the Los Angeles Dodgers for $700M over 10 years. Reportedly, he deferred all but $2M annually until his contract ends. He will then receive the remaining $68M annually, paid WITHOUT interest, until 2043. So… beginning in 2034, he will collect approximately $1,863 per day for doing nothing, assuming he’s not playing in 10 years. Not a bad gig, if you can get it.

DYK: On December 15, 1980, the Yankees’ Dave Winfield became the highest paid baseball player, 10 years $15M.

I think I like the NFL more than the NBA is because the helmets cover up most hairdos.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Last night the Las Vegas Raiders scored 42 1st half points, the most in history for a team that was shutout the previous week. (They had the record at 35 and then chocked up another TD)

Good news: Bestselling author James Patterson has awarded $500 bonuses to 600 employees at independent bookstores across the United States. The employees were nominated by their store owners, managers, peers, community members and others for the holiday awards. “Booksellers save lives,” Patterson said in a statement. “What they do is crucial, especially right now. I’m happy to be able to acknowledge them and their hard work this holiday season.

Article I’ll skip: Prince William’s romance with Kate Middleton faces renewed scrutiny

I went shopping for a pair of jeans the other day. My choices: Regular, straight, relaxed, relaxed straight, slim fit, classic fit, athletic, stretch. Look, I just want a pair of freakin’ jeans!

R.I.P. George McGinnis (73) – Played basketball in the ABA/NBA from 1971-1982. His accolades are numerous, I’ll skip the 2nd/3rd team honors here. 1969 – Indiana Mr. Basketball, first team Parade All-American, 2x ABA champion, 1973 ABA Playoffs MVP, 1975 ABA scoring champion & MVP, 3x ABA All-Star, ABA All-Time Team, 3x NBA All-Star, 1976 All-NBA First Team, No. 30 retired by the Indiana Pacers

Trivia #1 answer: Mosi Tatupu played for the New England Patriots from 1978-1990. He played for another team in 1991. What was that team? – The Los Angeles Rams
Trivia #2 answer: On December 15, 1791, the first US law school was established at what university? – Pennsylvania, Yale, Harvard, Princeton, Brown, Lowell – The University of Pennsylvania
Trivia #3 answer: B.B. King. What does “B.B.” stand for? – Blues Boy – As a singer and disc jockey in Memphis, he was given the nickname “Beale Street Blues Buy”, later shortened to “Blues Boy” and finally to B.B. (If you were paying attention, I asked this same question on September 25, 2020)
Trivia #4 answer: What is Howard University’s nickname? – The Bison

Bonus trivia question: In a 2023 report, how many NFL players were diagnosed with CTE amongst the 376 who had their brains scanned? – 100-125, 126-150, 151-200, 201- 250, 251-300, 301-350 – There were 345 players diagnosed with CTE. Similarly, (shockingly) in a 2018 BU general population study, one person was diagnosed with CTE in 164 autopsies.

If alcohol can damage your short term memory, imagine the damage alcohol can do.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Underdog Day!

“Everybody wants to know why I sing the blues
Yes, I say everybody wanna know why I sing the blues
Well, I’ve been around a long time
I really have paid my dues”

– B.B. King (Why I Sing The Blues)

Friday, December 8, 2023

by fasted86

Briefly.

My wife gave me a “Get better soon” card. I’m not sick, she just thinks I can be better.

Trivia #1: In baseball, if a fielder intentionally touches a fair ball with their cap, mask or any other part of their uniform detached from the proper place on his person and there are runner(s) on base, what happens with the runner(s)?
Trivia #2: Hanukkah is also called which of the following? – Festival of Seven Days, Festival of Gifts, Festival of Lights, Festival of Feasts, Festival of Festivus
Trivia #3: In the 1990 classic movie “Home Alone”, eight-year-old Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) famously went grocery shopping and his purchased items including a half gallon of milk, a half gallon of orange juice, a TV dinner, bread, frozen mac and cheese, laundry detergent, cling wrap, toilet paper, a pack of army men and dryer sheets. How much was the cost? – $9.38, $15.38, $19.38, $23.38, $29.38, $33.38, $42.98

Go away: Hunter Biden

They say I’m crazy but I have a good time.

On this day: December 8, 1813, Ludwig van Beethoven’s 7th Symphony in A, premieres in Vienna with Beethoven conducting.
December 8, 1941, US President Franklin D. Roosevelt delivers his “Day of Infamy” speech to US Congress a day after the bombing of Pearl Harbor

They said it: “Yesterday, December 7, 1941, a date which will live in infamy, the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.” – US President Franklin D. Roosevelt, in his opening line of his “Day of Infamy” speech.

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: There is a out there of the leading NFL Pro Bowl vote getters.

Bill Gates makes $10.95 million per day, more than 4 times what the average person earns in a lifetime. Who cares, really?

Good news: New research from Resonant, a Utah biotech company that develops diagnostic tests for neurodegenerative diseases, says its new test achieved 100% accuracy in identifying patients with Alzheimer’s disease and individuals with mild cognitive impairment (MCI) who went on to develop Alzheimer’s disease within five years.

Recruiting, you’re doing it right. Rutgers University head coach Steve Pikiell has landed ESPN’s No. 2 prospect in the Class of 2024, Dylan Harper, son of five-time NBA champion Ron Harper, as well as ESPN’s No. 3 prospect Ace Bailey. Harper had many offers across the country including Duke, Kansas, Indiana and Auburn.

Article I’ll skip: Stephen A. Smith suggests potential Biden replacement for Dems

With weather concerns across the country for Sunday, two games have seen the associated over/under drop 5 points with the Jaguars/Browns dropping a whopping 8 points! (Dropping/whopping – see what I did there?)

In a related story… last night’s Patriots/Steelers ended 21-18, Patriots, with 8 points scored in the second half! I’m glad I went to bed.

R.I.P. Norman Lear (101) – Legendary television producer who created groundbreaking series such as “All in the Family,” “Maude,” “The Jeffersons” and “One Day at a Time.” Over his long career, Lear racked up a multitude of awards, including six Emmys, a Golden Globe and the 2017 Kennedy Center Honors. He was inducted into the Television Academy Hall of Fame in 1984.

Trivia #1 answer: In baseball, if a fielder intentionally touches a fair ball with their cap, mask or any other part of their uniform detached from the proper place on his person and there are runner(s) on base, what happens with the runner(s)? – Runners advance three bases
Trivia #2 answer: Hanukkah is also called which of the following? – Festival of Seven Days, Festival of Gifts, Festival of Lights, Festival of Feasts, Festival of Festivus – Festival of Lights
Trivia #3 answer: In the 1990 classic movie “Home Alone”, eight-yer-old Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) famously went grocery shopping and his purchased items including a half gallon of milk, a half gallon of orange juice, a TV dinner, bread, frozen mac and cheese, laundry detergent, cling wrap, toilet paper, a pack of army men and dryer sheets. How much was the cost? – $9.38, $15.38, $19.38, $23.38, $29.38, $33.38, $42.98 – The cost was $19.38

My mouth waters when I smell steak… I wonder if the same happens to vegans when they mow the lawn?

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Crossword Solvers Day!

“Lucky I’m insane after all I’ve been through
(Everybody say I’m cool) (He’s cool)
I can’t complain but sometimes I still do
Live’s been good to me so far”

– Joe Walsh (Life’s Benn Good)

Friday, December 1, 2023

by fasted86

Briefly. (Not today, I woke up early)

Lead me not into temptation… oh, who am I kidding? Follow me, I know a shortcut.

Trivia #1: The difference between nitrites and nitrates is the number of oxygen atoms in each chemical’s makeup. How many oxygen atoms does each have?
Trivia #2: On December 1, 1967, Wilt Chamberlain scored 52 points. He also set a then-NBA record that same night with 22 what?
Trivia #3: What beer’s motto is “Made On Honor, Sold On Merit?”
Trivia #4: What is known as the “Kissinger Rule?”
Trivia #5: The Seattle Seahawks linebacker Bobby Wagner last week recorded his 100th tackle, 3rd all-time to do it for 12 consecutive seasons. Who are the other two?

Go away: Jim Harbough

You know you got to go through hell before you get to heaven.

On this day: December 1, 1913, the 1st drive-up gas station opened in Pittsburgh
December 1, 1924, the Boston Bruins beat the Montreal Maroons 2-1 at Boston Arena; the first NHL game to be played in the United States
December 1, 1984, Boston College’s Doug Flutie wins the 50th Heisman Trophy Award

Go ahead and tell me that star in the sky is Jupiter, Venus, whatever. Please, they all look the same. “Ahhh, that’s Jupiter up there! That’s awesome!” Ya, OK.

Speaking of football, what’s with the female drummers being featured in pre-game intros? We have Cindy Blackmon playing a classic Phil Collins lick on Monday Night and Carrie Underwood on “Waiting All Day for Sunday Night.”

DYK: Carrie Underwood also plays the guitar, piano and the harmonica?

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Carrie Underwood also plays the guitar, piano and the harmonica?

The NBA in-season tournament. I just don’t get it.

They said it: “FBI, that’s Foot Ball Intelligence.” – NFL analyst Steve Smith Sr. What a moron.

Speaking of MNF, did you see Geno Smith last night on TNF? This is certainly unfair but… is it me or does he look like a homeless, drug addict?

Speaking of MNF, in an NFL-first, the league has booted the Patriots/Chiefs from their scheduled Monday Night game on December 18 moving it to Sunday at 1pm, replacing it with the Eagles/Seahawks. What a kick in the nuts! Now as a Patriot fan, I see it and frankly would rather go to a 1pm Sunday game than a Monday night game, but Kansas City fans, who no doubt have plane reservations have to likely reschedule their trips. I’m rooting for the Patriots anyway but now more than ever!

Spotify came out with its top 5 most streamed songs on 2023. Not surprising, I didn’t stream any of them, even once.

WTF: Mac Jones has been pulled in 4 of his 11 starts this season, a 36.4% clip. So, when you watch the Pats, you have a better chance of Jones pulled than you do of seeing him convert any particular third down.

Article I’ll skip: McDonalds to revamp burger patties in major fast food overhaul

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Frank Tammaro, a 94-year-old Army veteran, loved the senior center he’d called home for five years until he was told to find somewhere new to live. “I felt horrible, it’s no joke getting thrown out of a house.” Months later, after two moves and an injury that put him in the hospital, the senior was living with his daughter when he learned migrants were moving into his old residence, free of charge.

Did you catch the end of last weekend’s Alabama/Auburn game? 32 seconds to go, fourth-and-goal from the 31. Auburn only rushed two guys, two! Alabama quarterback Jalen Milroe takes his time and completes a game-ending touchdown pass. You can’t rush only two guys!

R.I.P. Rosalyn Carter (96) – Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter, a passionate champion of mental health, caregiving, and women’s rights. I’m a week late here. She died peacefully, with family by her side. Mrs. Carter was married for 77 years to Jimmy Carter, the 39th president of the United States and the 2002 Nobel Peace Prize recipient, who is now 99 years old.
R.I.P. Heinz Alfred “Henry” Kissinger (100) – One of the most influential and controversial diplomats of the 20th century.  

Trivia #1 answer: The difference between nitrites and nitrates is the number of oxygen atoms in each chemical’s makeup. How many oxygen atoms does each have? – Nitrites have two oxygen atoms, nitrates have three.
Trivia #2 answer: On December 1, 1967, Wilt Chamberlain scored 52 points. He also set a then-NBA record that same night with 22 what? – 22 missed free throws
Trivia #3 answer: What beer’s motto is “Made on Honor, Sold on Merit?” – Narragansett
Trivia #4 answer: What is the “Kissinger Rule?” – At Harvard University, Henry Kissinger’s senior thesis “the meaning of history” became legend. At nearly 400 pages, it was longer than any previous undergraduate thesis and reportedly brought about the “Kissinger rule” that limited the length of future students’ theses. 
Trivia #5 answer: The Seattle Seahawks linebacker Bobby Wagner last week recorded his 100th tackle, 3rd all-time to do it for 12 consecutive seasons. Who are the other two? (London Fletcher 2000-2014 and Derrick Brooks 1996-2007) – that was a tough one, huh?

It is difficult to explain just how much fun one can have while raking leaves… on a windy day.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.

Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Bartender Day! (For you locals, I’ll be serving downtown this afternoon from 1-7pm(ish). Come on down!

“Touchin’ down in New England town
Feel the heat comin’ down
I’ve got to keep on keepin’ on
You know the big wheel keeps on spinnin’ around”

– The Steve Miller Band (Jet Airliner)

Friday, November 24, 2023

by fasted86

Briefly.

Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?
Husband: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.

Trivia #1: What was the first country to make period products, tampons and pads, free? – Scotland, Ireland, Italy, Great Britain, United States, Poland
Trivia #2: What is the only NFL team never to have played on Thanksgiving Day?

Go away: The Manning brothers. (I did try to watch them one night. I don’t believe I lasted a full minute.)

On this day: November 24, 1859, English naturalist Charles Darwin publishes “On the Origin of Species” radically changing the view of evolution and laying the foundation for evolutionary biology.

For those of you who don’t know, I turned 60 earlier this year. I have to tell you, that “I-have-to-pee-again” thing? It’s real!

The Mahomes/Maauto Statefarm Insurance commercial is pure brilliance.

They said it: “” – I’m not sure she said anything but did Dolly Parton need to say anything? Mingya, what a performance!

WTF: A judge has granted Daryl Hall a temporary restraining order against his bandmate John Oats.

Article I’ll skip: NFL exec reveals how he feels about Travis Kelce-Taylor Swift relationship

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: AI-powered technologies have opened the door for a whole new experience for those who decide to partake in sports betting. Machine learning algorithms can be leveraged to allow various sportsbooks to analyze a given bettors’ patterns and interests to show them personalized recommendations. As a result, users are given a variety of new tools that they otherwise would not have without the technology.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse, part deux: Saint Mary’s College in Notre Dame, Indiana recently declared it will consider allowing biological males to attend the university if they have a history of identifying as women.

Your New England Patriots haven’t been in last place in their division after 11 weeks since 1990.

Speaking of the Patriots, the John Madden/Daryl Stingley story yesterday brought me to tears. Upon further review of the story… “Following the game, Madden went directly to the hospital where Stingley was being treated. In fact, he was the lone visitor there for Stingley. No New England players, coaches or staff members were there to check on the status of the injured player. The Patriots were getting set to leave via airplane, having not heard yet of the tragic news of Stingley’s paralysis, when Madden called the Oakland airport to tell them the news. He insisted that the carrier return to the gate.” – Just tragic

You gotta have a little rock ‘n’ roll music to get you through the stormy weather.

I still can’t get over Derrick White’s hair or lack thereof.

I just don’t get injuries in the NBA, especially compared to the NHL and NFL. Pussies. I mean, a player sits out for “Injury management?”

Did it bother anyone that the guy from the Operation game was clearly awake?

Trivia #1 answer: What was the first country to make period products, tampons and pads, free? – Scotland, Ireland, Italy, Great Britain, United States, Poland – Scotland on November 24, 2020
Trivia #2: What is the only NFL team never to have played on Thanksgiving Day? – The Jacksonville Jaguars

Nothing says “I mean business” like using a cart at the liquor store.

“We only live once.” Wrong! We only die once. We live every day. Now get off your ass and get out there!

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy National Buy Nothing Day! (It’s a thing!)

“Ooo are you feeling satisfied
Come on let us give your mind a ride
Ooo are you ready tonight
Come on let us give your mind a ride
It’s up to you, you can do what you like
Come on let us give your mind a ride”

– Boston (Feelin’ Satisfied)

Friday, November 10, 2023

by fasted86

Briefly. (it’s all relative)

I had a happy childhood. My Dad would roll me down the hill in a tire. Those were Goodyear’s!

Trivia #1: What was the franchise, the Vancouver Canucks, originally called?
Trivia #2: Why is Veterans Day celebrated on November 11? Bonus: What was Veterans Day originally called?
Trivia #3: Who was Katharine Lee Bates?
Trivia #4: How long does someone have to serve to be considered a veteran?

On this day: November 10, 1954, the “Marine Corps War Memorial” is unveiled in Arlington County, Virginia, dedicated to U.S. Marine Corps who died in defense of the U.S. since 1775. (Inspired by the 1945 Iwo Jima photo of servicemen raising the U.S. flag)
November 10, 1928 – The Notre Dame football team, inspired by late gridiron star George Gipp and the most famous halftime pep talk in sports history, rallied to upset undefeated Army in front of 85,000 fans at Yankee Stadium. Legendary head coach Knute Rockne’s impassioned “Win one for the Gipper” speech echoed through the decades — far beyond the football field — and entered American cultural, political and military lore. The struggling 1928 Notre Dame squad, newly dubbed the Fighting Irish a year earlier, scored two second-half touchdowns to come from behind and stun the powerful Cadets, 12-6. 

Some people need to use a glue stick instead of Chapstick… just sayin’.

They said it: “For the veteran, thank you for bravely doing what you’re called to do so we can safely do what we’re free to do.” – Unknown

Last Saturday, for the first time in college football history, two institutions nicknamed the “Gamecocks” played each another. South Carolina defeated Jacksonville State 38-28.

Twin-dergarten – Kindergarten teachers in a Pennsylvania school district (the Colonial School District) are seeing double this year – as 17 sets of twins entered the school. And they’re all members of the graduating class of 2036.

“I’ve been waiting all day for Sunday night!” I kinda wish Carrie Underwood would go back to baring both thighs in her pregame introduction, but I won’t be greedy. I’ll just enjoy the one.

WTF: Gen Z teens and young adults are having less sex than past generations and want less sexually explicit content shown in the media they watch. A new study found that Gen Z teenagers and adults are asking for fewer sex scenes in the television and movies they consume. Call me immature but what’s wrong with these people!?

And if you ever think of me, think of all your liberties and recall some gave all.

In my humble opinion, ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit is the best football analyst going, on any level.

Article I’ll skip: Study reveals what are the booziest countries around the world

Execution, let’s try to get it right: An execution date has been given for an inmate who is now choosing to die by nitrogen hypoxia after surviving a lethal injection attempt last year. A thirty-hour time frame for the execution of Kenneth Eugene Smith beginning at midnight on Jan. 25, 2024. He was scheduled to be executed on Nov. 17, 2022, but it was called off when the executioners struggled to connect two intravenous lines to him for lethal injection.

Good news: John Graham, 18, of Toms River New Jersey, was presented with his certificate of appointment to the United States Military Academy West Point at MetLife Stadium on Monday evening, Nov. 6. The annual New York Jets Salute to Service game honors members of the Armed Services, past and present — including Graham, who attended the game with his parents. The Jets were then promptly crushed by the Chargers.

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: While many workers worry about A.I. replacing their jobs, one company announced it’s hiring the first humanoid robot CEO. Mika is a research project between Hanson Robotics and Polish rum company Dictador, who customized the CEO to represent the company and its unique values. 

Useless information supposed to fire my imagination: Using not one, but two powerful NASA space telescopes, astronomers have discovered a black hole so distant it could reveal how some of the first supermassive black holes formed. Researchers combined data from NASA’s Chandra X-ray Observatory and the James Webb Space Telescope to seek out the signs of a growing black hole from 470 million years after the Big Bang – when the universe was only 3% of its current age, according to NASA. (“…according to NASA.” Ya, who’s going to question them and how??)

Why is a fly called a fly and a bird is called a bird?

Trivia #1 answer: What was the franchise, the Vancouver Canucks, originally called? – They have always been called the Vancouver Canucks (1971).  
Trivia #2 answer: Why is Veterans Day celebrated on November 11? – Major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month.  – Bonus: What was Veterans Day originally called? – It was called “Armistice Day.”
Trivia #3 answer: Who was Katharine Lee Bates? – An English professor at Wellesley College, in 1893, wrote what is now known as “America the Beautiful” originally as a poem. (The melody to accompany the lyrics was composed in 1892 by Samuel A. Ward. The combination of melody and poem was first entitled “America the beautiful in 1910.)
Trivia #4 answer: How long does someone have to serve to be considered a veteran? – Before September 8, 1980, there is no minimum length of service. After September 7, 1980, service members must have served a minimum 24 months of active duty to be considered a veteran. If the service member becomes disabled because of their time in service, there is no minimum length.

I wonder if beer thinks about me too.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy Veterans Day (observed)! – “We don’t know them all, but we owe them all.”

“O beautiful, for heroes proved
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country love
And mercy more than life!

America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!”

– Ray Charles

Bonus video (for all the veterans out there)

Double bonus, considered by many as the greatest rendition eva!

November 3, 2023

by fasted86

Briefly.

Some people are like Slinkies, not really good for much but bring a smile to your face.

Trivia #1: Tug-of-war was an Olympic event from 1900-1920, five Olympics (1916 was cancelled due to WW I). What country won the most medals in Tug-of-war – United States, France, Great Britian, Sweden, Denmark, Germany. Bonus: How many medals did that country win?
Trivia #2: Bill Belichick is now one of three coaches with 300 wins. What coach has the most losses, regular and post season? – Bill Belichick, Tom Landry, Don Shula, Dan Reeves, Jim Fisher
Trivia #3: In the history of the NBA’s Washington Wizards franchise, which one of the following was NOT one of their previous names? – Chicago Bullets, Washington Bullets, Capital Bullets, Chicago Packers, Chicago Zephyrs, Baltimore Bullets
Trivia #4: Who was Horatio Seymour?
Trivia #5: In 1930, what bank was renamed Bank of America? – Bank of Italy, Bank of Great Britain, Bank of France, Bank of Germany, Bank of Brazil

Go away: “Yellowstone” and all the bullshit surrounding the series. I keep hearing of this-and-that regarding its continuation and it is exhausting. Just get on with it or not.
Go away, part deux: Josh McDaniels. I mean, give it up, dude.
Go away, part trois: Daylight savings. Useless, says me

On this day: November 3, 1956, the 1939 film “The Wizard of Oz” is televised for the first time.
November 3, 1987, (Bonus trivia), Mark McGwire wins American League Rookie of the Year becoming just the 2nd player to win the AL award unanimously. Who was the first to win AL Rookie of the Year unanimously? 

They said it: “If the NBA was on channel five and a bunch of frogs making love was on channel four, I’d watch the frogs, even if they were coming in fuzzy.” – Bob Knight

Speaking of the NBA, the Celtics beat the Indiana Pacers 155-104 Wednesday night. 8 players scored in double figures, all 13 on the roster scored. The 155 points were the second highest in franchise history and the 51-point margin of victory was their third largest. The Celtics are undefeated, as are the Bruins.

Speaking of undefeated, this is the first time in Boston history that both the Celtics and Bruins entered the month of November with both teams undefeated.

WTF: 50-year-old Małgorzata Zwierzyńska, a popular Polish TikToker known as Goha Magical who makes videos with her son known as Daniel Magical, proved that over weekend. She stepped into the MMA cage against Nikola Alokin, the 19-year-old ex-girlfriend of her son, and knocked her out. The fight was part of Clout MMA’s Halloween event in Plock, Poland. 

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: The Twin Flames Universe organization is facing accusations that the group pressured some same-sex couples into changing their gender identity for each person to fill a masculine and feminine role in a relationship. People who join the Twin Flames Union and pay for “ascension coaching” are promised a “harmonious union” with their so-called “Twin Flame,” referring to one’s lifelong partner, according to its website. The coaching sessions, which range from $20-200, promise participants that they “will never have to experience separation from your Twin Flame again in this lifetime or the next.”

“Or the next???”

Apparently, the Texas Rangers won the World Series, their first in franchise history. The Rangers were 10-0 on the road in the playoffs, an MLB record.

Fly me away to the bright side of the moon, and meet me on the other side (this could become a weekly addition, “Name That Tune”)

Article I’ll skip: Former SI model, turned businesswoman, Kathy Ireland, wants people aware of AI

They said it, part deux: “When my time comes and my activities have passed, I want them to bury me upside down, and my critics can kiss my ass.” – Bob Knight

Good news: Better care for cancer patients may be on the horizon. A new prescription medicine for treating cervical cancer has been showing positive results in clinical trials. In phase 3 global trials, TIVDAK (tisotumabvedotin) was linked to a 30% overall reduction in the risk of death compared to chemotherapy.

R.I.P. Robert Montgomery “Bob” Knight (83) – Otherwise known as “The General”, Knight became the youngest coach at a Division I school in 1965 when he broke in at Army at age 24. But he made his mark at Indiana, including winning a school-record 661 games and reaching the NCAA tournament 24 times in 29 seasons. Knight’s first NCAA title came in 1976 when Indiana went undefeated, a feat no team has accomplished since. Knight won 20 or more games in a season 29 times, compiling a career record of 902-371. In 1984, he coached the U.S. Olympic team to a gold medal in Los Angeles, the last American amateur team to claim Olympic gold.

Trivia #1 answer: Tug-of-war was an Olympic event from 1900-1920, five Olympics (1916 was cancelled due to WW I). What country won the most medals in Tug-of-war – United States, France, Great Britian, Sweden, Denmark, Germany. Bonus: How many medals did that country win? – Great Britian won five medals (two gold)
Trivia #2 answer: Bill Belichick is now one of three coaches with 300 wins. What coach has the most losses, regular and post season? – Bill Belichick, Tom Landry, Don Shula, Dan Reeves, Jim Fisher – Tom Landry (178)
Trivia #3 answer: In the history of the NBA’s Washington Wizards franchise, which one of the following was NOT one of their previous names? – Chicago Bullets, Washington Bullets, Capital Bullets, Chicago Packers, Chicago Zephyrs, Baltimore Bullets – Chicago Bullets
Trivia #4 answer: Who was Horatio Seymour? – Seymour (D) lost the presidential election to Ulysses S. Grant (R) in 1868
Trivia #5: In 1930, what bank was renamed Bank of America? – Bank of Italy, Bank of Great Britian, Bank of France, Bank of Germany, Bank of Brazil – Bank of Italy

Bonus trivia: Carlton Fisk (1972)

I accidently drank a bottle of disappearing ink… now, I’m sitting in the ER, waiting to be seen.

Be careful out there. (It’s a jungle!)

Happy World Jellyfish Day!

“Next stop Chi town
Lido put the money down let ‘em roll
He said one more job ought to get it
One last shot ‘fore we quit it
One for the road”

– Boz Scaggs